Nov 13 2012

Moundsville: West Virginia State Pen, Part 2

The warden and his family used to occupy the top floor of this section, and supposedly the ghost of some broad is sometimes spotted in one of the windows. (OUR GUIDE HERSELF HAS EVEN SEEN IT, WHAAAAT.)

For only being the beginning of November, it sure was fucking nipply up in that pen. I never knew this, though it seems pretty obvious, but there was no heat or A/C for the inmates in this prison. They roasted like pigs in their tiny cells during the summer and turned into frozen predator pops in the winter. However, a new cafeteria was built shortly before the prison closed for good. It was part of a deal that the Governor struck with the inmates during the last hostage-situation riot that took place there in the 80s: the new cafeteria would be the only room in the prison with heat and air conditioning. Danny Lehman, president of the bike gang the Avengers and the inmate responsible for striking the deal, was murdered in the North Hall by the Aryan Nation before ever getting to see his cafeteria completed.

Our guide talked about Danny Lehman A LOT. I think she had a crush on him.

(I looked up his picture. He was pretty OK looking.)

The new cafeteria has some pretty sweet paintings upon its cinder blocked walls. They were all painted by the same inmate, who was color blind (shout out to my color-stupid brother!) so he had another inmate mix the paint for him and included his name on the paintings, too. Sounds kind of un-prisonly to me.

Who knew jail birds could be fair.

The guide let us explore the kitchen area without her, so that tells me either there is nothing to note in that area, or the paranormal perils are so plentiful that the guides are like, “Y’all go on ahead and poke around in there if you want while I stand out here close to the exit.”

Anyone who knows me knows that I have this condition where I need to write my name everywhere, on everything, all of the time. Restaurant place mats. Scratch paper at work. In Henry’s underwear. On sidewalks in chalk. Under the mattresses of the people I stalk. I think it’s called megalomania. Solipsism. Egocentrism.

Maybe a pretty perfume of all three, with notes of narcissism.

You best believe I dirtied my finger in that prison grit to leave behind my name.

If I was a tattoo artist, I’d sign my name to everyone’s motherfucking skin.

Bitch, try and stop me.

View of the yard through the cafeteria window. Apparently, nothing of note ever happened in the new cafeteria, but they had emergency tear gas running up through the rafters just in case shit got cray.

Tried to get Chooch to eat this.

We got to check out the yard after poking around the cafeteria.

All the way back in that corner was a tiny bullpen set up for the inmates who were in protective custody, mostly murderers and rapists of children.

Attention: Parents of Young Kids! If you’re not ready to broach such heavy topics, perhaps a tour of a penitentiary can wait a few more years.

The words “rape” and “rapist” were slung around so much during this tour that it’s a fucking miracle Chooch didn’t raise his hand and ask what the fuck it means.

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Hopefully this doesn’t mean he already knows.

The blue building is where some of the inmates got to make a month making license plates.

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Some of them would smuggle parts of the machines out, like tiny screws and stuff, and then throw them over the fence at the maximum security inmates out in the bullpen playing basketball with each others heads. Then those guys would do ungodly things to be able to sneak their newly acquired weapon-making contraband past the guards.

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Some would even cut their arms and slip this shit in there, oh my fucking god.

But I guess at that point in your life, what’s a little prick, right?

Ninety-four men were executed in Moundsville. Eighty-five of those were hanged from 1899-1949, and the other nine were electrocuted after one of the inmates constructed an electric chair for the prison. (He then had to be put in protective custody. Duh.)

Hangings were viewed by a public bleacher section until 1931, when the rope decapitated its victim. Can you imagine dressing little Susie in her Sunday’s best and sitting on bleachers eating Cracker Jacks while some fucker was lynched in front of you?

Actually, I kind of can.

And that fucker is Henry.

8 comments

8 Comments so far

  1. kendahl November 14th, 2012 10:08 am

    I just got filled with the deepest need to see someone be hung and decapitated. Can you imagine all the gore?! Oh my.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart November 14th, 2012 5:42 pm

    Apparently, the guy that happened to was obese. There was another story about a guy whose rope broke during the hanging. He ended up falling to the ground and survived, but both his legs were broken. The prison was like “Aw fuck what do we do now?” and after a few hours of deliberation, they took him back up in a STRETCHER and re-hung him.

  3. Faye March 7th, 2014 4:08 am

    I grew up 4 houses up the road from the pen and remember the prisioners and guards… We used to take my moms cigs n smoke them across the street at the mound n the inmates would yell n hoot n haller about wanting a cig …. Being the cig fiend shit like that turned me into … Ide break threw the window n get the cigs from the shit heads teasing me with them lol

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart March 14th, 2014 9:34 pm

    This made me want a cig lol!

  5. Joe Frey July 17th, 2014 8:03 pm

    There was heat inside the prison. There was a huge boiler room that supplied steam heat inside the cell blocks. Also the inmates who worked in the Industry Building made a lot more than $15.00/ month…they were payed an average of $1.50 per hour and averaged about 40 – 50 hours per week. I don’t know who your tour guide was but very few inmate rapes took place in the prison. I worked in the prison from 1984 – 1989, I was there for the big riot in 1986…..I spent most of my time working in North Hall where I was in charge of the block on Afternoon Watch

  6. Tuna Tar-Tart July 18th, 2014 7:23 am

    Joe, thanks for informing me of these discrepancies. I was only reiterating what we learned during our tour, so it’s disappointing to know that it wasn’t accurate.

  7. Crystal Simmons October 10th, 2017 10:23 am

    I did a night tour there and got allot of evp’s. I’m very fascinated with William “RED” SNYDER. I’m going back again next month and cannot wait. This place has a creepy feeling and I always get a weird vibe. But it intrigue’s me. I know this might sound crazy but my heart goes out to these prisoners. Especially RED.

  8. Kim Neubauer October 18th, 2021 8:40 pm

    I worked as a CO there. Haunted as fuck. Loved workin there.

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