Dec 302018

Before I start spraying misspelled words down on this page like a n00b with a machine gun, I just want to say that I hope everyone who may be reading this (even hate-reading this) had a wonderful December 25th, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. It’s such a rough time for so many people to get through and that was definitely heavy on my mind all day.

That being said, our Christmas was very lowkey and minimalistic. We do that wasteful thing every year where we feel like OMG THE BOTTOM OF THE TREE NEEDS TO BE STUFFED so we end up buying a bunch of crap that Chooch doesn’t want or need, just to beef it up, and what’s the point of that? It’s useless. So this year, we only got him several small things like t-shirts, a set of vintage Bambi glasses that I found on Ebay because he’s still obsessed with Bambi, a gaming mouse…things that we knew he would actually wear/use. Plus, he’s 12 now and that’s a really weird age. He’s not into “toys” anymore and aside from a gaming PC (big fat nope) there was nothing that he was specifically begging for. I thought it would be fun to give him “adventure presents,” such as a trip to the Science Center the day after Xmas, because Henry kept promising him for years and never actually took him so I got to be the hero which is my whole purpose as a parent. And also, we tacked on an extra day for our “Erin Bought Winner Tickets So I Guess We’re Going to Toronto Now” trip next month so that Chooch can actually see some sights and we’re going to swing by Niagara Falls too, which he’s never been to. Things like this are far more special than a new video game or whatever, and I think he’s finally starting to appreciate that and he understands that the less money we spend on materialistic junk, the more opportunities we’ll have to travel.

(Henry’s reading this and thinking, “But when will ERIN understand that…?” Lol.)

“Patiently” waiting for Henry to get his ass downstairs so he could start opening shit.

The kid is still really into Bambi, like I said, so he didn’t even care that this was:

  • not actally Bambi;
  • from the women’s section of Target

This fucking ornament came just in time on Christmas Eve, fucking Miles Kimball and their slow-ass shipping. I had to get in it unpersonalized because each hat could only have 8 letters, so I just did it myself. They didn’t have an ornament with two kids on a roller coaster while the dad sat on a bench in the background, so this one will have to do. Chooch loved it and immediately hung it on Trudy’s boob, I mean, bough.

We both love the movie The Lost Boys so when Blvck Cat did another limited run of these shirts, I couldn’t pass it up. Funny story though, I apparently pre-ordered it last September/October and proceeded to forget about it until a week before Christmas when I got an email notification saying that it shipped. What a happy surprise!

We also printed and framed this picture of Henry that Chooch took in Busan – this damn picture made us publicly crack up to the point of tears and you better believe that Henry was not OK with this. I love giving memories as gifts and thought it would be something that could make Chooch laugh on bad days. I made the gift tag say it was from the Ahjussis on the Subway – Chooch said his favorite part of Christmas is looking at what I write on the gift tags, so that made me super happy because it’s such a simple little thing but it somehow became “tradition” along the way. For instance, his ornament was from Dolly Parton’s Big Gigantic Boobs, since Dollywood was the last park we visited.

Chooch’s one big gift this year was Hamilton tickets because it’s in Pittsburgh for the month of January and Chooch LOVES it. I won’t even go into the trauma and stress I experienced trying to get tickets to this fucking thing, but I will say that it was funny listening to my co-workers stress out over it too and I was just like, “Yo, try getting tickets to a KPOP concert, though…”

Anyway, I had a mild nervous breakdown because tickets, even the shitty ones that I managed to snag, were so expensive, but my work friend Lori validated it by reminding me that this is like the Shakespeare of our time and that it’s a major cultural experience for Chooch, so it’s worth it. Then Henry was like, “Um, you paid more for BTS tickets so I don’t know why you’re acting so sick over this?”

Yeah, but it’s different when it’s something for me!


“How can we package this so that a really great present starts out as something traumatic?” I wondered aloud, and Henry and I decided that we needed to make a fake minigolf envelope to put the tickets in, so that Chooch would first think he was getting a gift certificate for minigolf which he would HATE after we went to that one minigolf place in Tennessee and he declared that he hates minigolf and never wants to play it again, got mad at us for laughing, and then almost set the place up in flames with the power of his pissed-off mind alone.

So I made this fake minigolf logo which Henry glued to the front of the envelopes that the tickets came in, but I still didn’t feel like this was good enough….

…so then we stuck the envelope in Doll’s hand and wrapped her up in a box for his last present.

When he opened it, he was like, “REALLY” because he fucking hates Doll, but then he saw what was in her hand and his face started to get super red, like, “WE WERE HAVING A GOOD DAY, YOU GUYS, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE ASSHOLE PARENTS” but then when he saw what was inside in the envelope, he was like, “OMG.”

Full disclosure, while Chooch and Henry had a fine day, I still let my dumb emotions and ill-feelings toward the holiday get the best of me and so I stormed out of the house mid-morning, snarling over my shoulder that I JUST WANTED TO BE ALONE so I went for a dumb walk and as I was halfway down Brookline Boulevard, I started to pass the man on foot in front of me and realized THAT IT WAS MY EX-NEIGHBOR BOOTS.

So for half a second, I was WALKING WITH BOOTS.

Wow, that was enough to bring me back down to earth. I went home after that and I was fucking fine for the rest of the day, that’s for damn sure.

Later that afternoon, we decided to go to the cemetery for a walk. Usually, Henry would prepare something small to eat and we would have a quick (and usually, freezing) picnic in the cemetery but we skipped it last year and to be honest, I didn’t even think about doing it this year. THINGS CHANGE, YOU GUYS. It’s OK to eschew “traditions” sometime.

However, on the way to the cemetery, we noticed that Pink Box, a delicious Asian bakery, was open! So Henry squealed the car to a halt and we stocked up on some delicious Asian breads.

This ended up being way better than having our usual picnic because we didn’t have to sit down on the cold December sod to eat, we could take it to go. So, new/revised tradition, maybe!?

Chooch was definitely on board with it!

Freakin’ egg tarts too, son.

It was a really beautiful day, and not too terribly cold either. Plus, we didn’t have a photoshoot like usual so that meant – NO FIGHTING!

Henry took this weird picture of Chooch and me standing in front of the weird maintenance house thing that I’m positive is a hideout for a serial killer.

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That night, I was being a spoiled brat and Henry was like WHAT IS WRONG and finally I blurted out YOU DIDN’T GET ME ANYTHING (so, I guess we could consider this a Xmas tradition?) even though he spent all afternoon getting my Mouse Attack light to finally light up:

…and I apparently said to him that if he took us to Dollywood for Thanksgiving, that would be my Christmas present which I don’t recall saying but it DOES sound like something I would say in a moment of sheer desperation. Look, I’m not going to lie and make you guys think that I’m an actual adult because I’m not – I’m a big fat bitch-baby who thrives on GIFTS AND THINGS AND STUFF.

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So Henry was like, “Oh for God’s sake” and then three days later, Taemin’s Japanese solo album arrived for me:

Yay, thanks Henry oppa!

Also, no Oh Honestly Family Xmas card for 2018, sadly. We were too busy making cards for other people!

So, that wraps up Xmas 2018. Overall, it was a good one and it was extremely pleasing to see that, unlike his mother, Chooch was satisfied with everything he was given, even the really small things.

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I guess he has a little bit of Henry’s genes in him after all, lol.

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