Aug 23 2024

Storyland, Part 1

The last part of our New England Bi-Polar Road Trip was a half-day romp through the most precious, adorable, wholesome, charming amusement park I think I have ever seen – StoryLand in the White Mountains of New Hampshire! I knew a little bit about this park from my friend Alyson who lives in NH, but other than being familiar with its fairy tale aesthetic and the fact that it has a pretty intense wooden coaster for a children’s park, this place was a mystery to us. I kind of thought that we’d just run in, grab the 2 coaster creds, then head home.

But yooooooo, boiiiii. Hold up. This place exceeded expectations immediately upon entry. I really wasn’t expecting it to be such a whimsical oasis in the mountains of NH. I mean for god’s sake, the first thing we encountered was this little show!

WOW THE JOY ON CHOOCH’S FACE AS HE POSES FOR YET ANOTHER PHOTO WITH MOMMY.

OBSESSED ALREADY. THIS IS MY STYLE!!!

Are we back in Norway, though?? I’m kind of glad it has taken me so long to recap this day because seeing these pictures with fresh eyes is so much. I can’t get over how actually enchanted this place is. And it was kind of cool because in the early morning portion, it was overcast and drizzly, which added even more ambiance if that’s even possible. It did get sunny later on though so we got to experience the park both ways!

Did you know I’m obsessed with cuckoo clocks?! One of my  plans for either this shitty house or a future one if we ever fucking move (oh god, please let us be able to buy a house someday while Henry is still spry enough to carry out all of the projects I have packed in the dark recesses of my mind) is to have an entire wall of cuckoo clocks set at different times. Not annoying AT ALL.

OMG this really has to be the cutest themed teacups I have ever seen. I’m obsessed. Bavarian Norwegian crossover of my dreams.

Dude, it definitely felt like being in Norway again!

The ride operator said she loved Chooch’s Minion Crocs and that opened up membership to some kind of bizarre Croc Compliment Club because he started getting comments on those fuckers all the livelong day after this. He was so happy about it, to the point where he even started eavesdropping on people around us to see if they were talking about his Crocs.

Ugh. Now he knows what it’s like to be COOL LIKE ME.

Wow, thanks for the great video Papa H.

Then we went on the cutest little log flume that was PANDA THEMED. One of the ride attendants was named CHEESE and she was so cute! Also, we got in a “pre-line” for this baby because it didn’t start running until 10am and Chooch was like, “I can’t believe we’re lined up for a baby log flume” but it was part of the experience because we got to stare down the little girl in front of us who kept turning around and looking at us LIKE WHAT, WHY? BECAUSE TWO BIG PEOPLE WANT TO RIDE THIS DUMB LOG THING WITH NO CHILDREN??

LOG FLUMES ARE FOR EVERYONE.

When we were coming back into the loading area, there was a baby squirrel trying to cross over the trough!!! We had a moment with the ride attendant over it lol.

After we got off this, we ran to another section of the park because ROARASAURUS was now open! It’s a crazy intense woodie in a children’s park!! The thoosies LOVE this bitch.

It’s one-train ops but the line was just a station wait so it really wasn’t too bad. Chooch and I rode in both the front and back and TBH I wanted to ride it more times but Chooch and Henry were like, “let’s move on.”

The train is so cute!!

Henry said, “Look it’s Splash Battle Mountain” and I realized he was trying to make a Dance Gavin Dance joke and this KILLED Chooch and me. At first, I slipped and genuinely laughed but the I realized that I was giving him credit for landing a joke so I quickly started to criticize him and then gave him examples of how he could have made it make better sense.

Ugh. Obsessed.

I loved the Dutch-ass section too!!!

The second coaster cred was this polar bear coaster thing that was actually pretty fun for a small scale family coaster! Also, many comments on the Minion Crocs in this line.

This is what the station looks like from the brake run! The theming here was immaculate. I would have been in heaven if I had gone here as a child. Now I’m pissed. DID MY PAPPAP NOT LOVE ME ENOUGH??

OK, that’s all for now!

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