Sep 182013


I got this comment last week on my Big Butler Fair blog post and I thought for sure it was spam. I read it and laughed. “Oh OK, Pumpkin Funnel Cake. Thanks,” I thought, and then moved on with my life.

But then over the weekend, I noticed that the stats for that particular post had spiked, which I thought was odd since it’s nearly two months old. But then I saw that the referring link was Facebook and that Pumpkin Funnel Cake was a real page. Of course I had to go investigate, and this is what I found:


Hahahaha! “interesting review but thanks.”

“Oh god, what did you write about them?” Henry asked wearily.

“I can’t remember, but I’m sure it was something classy,” I shrugged.

Henry went and re-read it and just kept sighing. “I’m so glad there’s pictures of me and Chooch in this post. Hopefully they recognize us next year,” he murmured, and I think maybe he was being sarcastic.

I’ve been blogging since 2001 but it still never fails to amuse me when my blog is actually found by someone. You know, like Andy from “Child’s Play” (true story : we’re Facebook friends now because he read my blog post about how I wanted to bang him), the proprietor of my favorite bakery, the parents from Chooch’s old Catholic school (oh, we laugh about it now). I guess when your stats hover between 100 and 150 per day, it’s kind of surprising still to be “found.” There’s a slight adrenaline rush to it, which is also sometimes accompanied by a stomachache, depending on the nature of the blog post. But I write what I write, no take-backs. And sometimes I have to deal with (and expect) backlash. Henry is usually very “I told you so” when this happens.

So I started thinking about this (I’ve been very thoughtful lately, you guys! Too bad I still haven’t relaced my Big Green Glasses, because my thoughts would probably be even better if they happened while I was wearing glasses) and about how I haven’t really progressed much at all in terms of visibilty and readership and do I even have any sort of goal with this damn thing? I guess I don’t. I mean, I’m not the type of blog that companies want to ply with free swag in exchange for reviews. I don’t have advertisements on here. I don’t “schedule” my posts. I don’t really have a “following” or belong to any type of blogging community. I’ve tried that and it didn’t suit me. A lot of Christian housewives who would skip over my blog or just pretend to read it when we would have Friday comment parties. And you know, who really wants comments that just say, “Nice post. Stopping by from <insert stupid community name>”? It just seemed so phony to me and I was tired of reading blog posts about those stupid muffin tins that SAHMs were using to “creatively” feed their children broccoli and apple slices.

I don’t go to local blog conventions or podcast thingies or tweet-ups or anything that requires me to socialize with other people who have blogs, because that’s just not my scene. I don’t even like the word “blog”! Every time I say it out loud, I just hear “blahhhhhhhhugh.” Blah ugh, indeed.

I don’t really have a theme. I’m not a food blog. I’m not a mommy blog. I’m not a DIY blog or even really a lifestyle blog. I’m a….what am I? A variety blog? The Hee Haw of blogs? This will never be the kind of blog that suddenly “gets discovered” and none of my posts are the sort that would ever go viral. Because it’s not mass appeal, I guess. If you like amusement parks, crude sex analogies and pictures of ice cream cones, then I guess this is your jam right here!

I have had the same blog design for years and years. The header shows up as an “x” whenever I view anything that’s not on the home page. But I’ve never cared enough to fix it. The sidebar is an unorganized shitshow. I don’t even offer people the ability to “pin” my stuff!

But then…I don’t really care about Pinterest.

I try not to push this thing down peoples’ throats. When I update, it automatically posts to Facebook and Twitter (except for when that function is broken.) I used to send out email notifications, but then that broke. So then Henry fixed it, but it wasn’t fully fixed, and people bitched. I think some people read this from a LiveJournal feed, but I have no way of knowing for sure because I don’t care, I guess?

Sometimes I try to re-post old shit, because I read once that you should sometimes re-post old shit. Try to generate interest, I guess. Like, “Look! My blog used to be GOOD, you guys! I used to kind of write for real!” But is it really writing? Isn’t blogging just the bastard offspring of writing?

Quitting is always in the back of my mind, but at the end of the day, temper tantrums aside, I genuinely do enjoy blogging. I like having a compilation of Chooch’s childhood and concert reviews and pictures of Henry’s frowns. And it always amazes me that while this is still just a small potatoes-blog, that anyone who doesn’t know me in real life has cared enough to stick along for the ride. I’ve made some really awesome friends over the years by publicizing my dumb life, and I would never want to give that back! But honestly, most of my in-real-life friends don’t even regularly read this, so believe me—I don’t expect many others to, but the ones that do, I really appreciate.

I’m trying to get motivated to change some shit up, I guess. At least maybe add an “about” page, which I always thought I had but this morning I was looking for it and realized that I guess Henry took it away, so fuck you, Henry.

I did add this “popular post” widget thing all on my own, though! (And probably busted five other things in the process.) It’s on the righthand side over there —–>


Does TLC do blog-makeovers? Because I mean, I’ve been making-over so many other facets of my life this year, why not throw my blog in the mix? So, maybe I’ll change some things. Maybe not. But one thing’s for sure:  your ex-wife still won’t read this trash. :)

  17 Responses to “Blog Identity Crisis”

  1. You do know that you have to rename your blog to “The Hee Haw of Blogs” – just thought I would give you the heads up. We readers have certain expectations :)

  2. I think the reason I like your blog is because it’s you. For me it’s a waste of my time to read the same ol crap that “everyone” is posting… it’s like they jump on some bandwagon and go to town with it. I would much rather read about the every day shit… the frowns, what Chooch is doing or saying… what you are doing… I find that more interesting. It’s like a glimpse inside someone else’s world for a few minutes.

    I don’t like the word blog either… I have no niche or grand master plans for growth & readership. I’ll never be discovered as the most prolific writer of this century LOL I just like to write and keep track of what’s happening from time to time. I forget all the shit I get in to or the stupid things I say…. and I certainly want to pass all the glory that is me down to the grandkids one day… they will have a better idea of who Granny was. Can you believe they call me that? Granny? Pft

    • We’re on the same blogging-page, then! I’m not saying I wouldn’t be happy if more people read this, but the way it is now, I feel like I can still write whatever the hell I want to. When my co-workers started reading this, I got really paranoid and self-conscious and was soooo worried about offending some of them that I caught myself watering things down. And that’s not me. So I shook it off.

      Maybe that’s why I haven’t really made an effort to get this thing out there, maybe I’m subconsciously trying to protect my blogging virtues, lol.

      Isn’t it crazy to think about our grandkids reading our blogs someday?? I really wish my grandparents had left behind some type of memoir.

    • P.S. Thank you for your input, as always! I feel less dumb now. :)

  3. I admire your fearlessness so much <3

  4. I always enjoy my visits to Cornfield County. :)

  5. I read that as “quilting is always in the back of my mind” and my brain just shut the hell down because it could not accept Quilter Erin (or Quilter Henry, if the truth were told because you know you’d have him all up in it as soon as your brain seized when you realized you were quilting).

  6. Can I just add, for the record, that I would be very sad if you quit. I’ve never met you IRL, but you’re still one of my favoritest people in the world!

  7. You know what? We can start our own brand of blogs. It’ll be the “what the fuck ever I want to post” blogs. Because I’m right there with you. Not a mommy blog. Not a food blog. Not a nail blog. I just post shit and hope somebody likes it.

    I am glad you blog because it let me meet you and that’s really awesome.

  8. The Bloggess was once a small say whatever the fuck blog. And now it’s a huge say whatever the fuck blog. It could happen!

    I think people keep reading blogs because they love “the voice”. The perspective on normal, crazy life. That’s what makes blogs unique. Anybody can share news or recipes or pretty pictures of flowers.

    I think people get a kick out of being privy to other peoples’ eccentricities and neurosis. (Or maybe that’s just me…)

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