Signing up for the Color Run two months ago seemed like a super great idea when Chris sent out the email at work. But I had completely different feelings about it when my alarm went off at 6 o’clock this morning, that’s for sure.
Amber1 picked me up at 7 we mostly talked endlessly the whole drive to South Park about how tired we were. We got a little perkier once Chris, Monica, Amber2 and Steve showed up, though. Plus there was loud Top 40 music blaring across the fairgrounds so that also helped keep me alert.
I made lots of sad, pouty faces while we stood in the start line, but then Amber1 started throwing her pack of color on all of us and how can you not be happy when clouds of color are sprinkling down on you? I was really worried about getting it in my eyes though. I had enough problems seeing without this color shit getting all up in there.
Then I tried to catch a color pack that some Color Run dude was tossing into the crowd and I ended up mistaking it for a bridal bouquet and accidentally pulled some bitch’s hair (and I think I stepped on her foot) and THEN SHE SNATCHED THE COLOR PACK FROM ME. God, I was too fucking tired to care. I did really want to catch one of the free fanny packs, though, but none came even remotely close to me. I totally would have filled it with Fruit Stripes gum and stuck my Smokey the Bear pin to it.
That time Amber2 and Steve got mad at us and walked ahead.
I learned that certain colors are really important to certain people. For instance, Amber1 was pissed that she didn’t get coated in more pink and I became inexplicably obsessed with the fact that none of us got any green thrown on us. Apparently I like green more than I thought I did. Purple was also a color of contention because we felt it was lame that none of the color stations had it! And Monica and Chris almost broke up arguing over whether it was really pink or fuschia. (I mean, I think that happened, anyway. I was pretty tired.)
We all started off in a slight jog, but then quickly went back to walking. I was talking to Henry about this later on and he said, “If I had to pay $40 for a 5K, I would definitely walk the entire thing so it would last longer. Why would you want to run and get done faster? I’d want my money’s worth.”
I don’t think Henry understands the concept of a 5K.
It rained for a little bit, which made the colors feel super gross on my skin.
I stole this picture from Amber1’s Instagram because it’s great.
After we crossed the finish line (totally anticlimactic), I did what I do best by posing awkwardly for a photo. Then we all ate a free Kind bar and went home.
WAIT!! PS!! I forgot about the part where I BROKE MY ANKLE* near the finish line after I accidentally stepped in an 87-foot deep pothole disguised as a puddle AND NO ONE CARED!!!!
*(Don’t worry—it has since miraculously healed.)