Last night, I had a dream that I had a beer bottle tattooed on my left forearm and a beer can on the right. Besides being the yokeliest thing I can imagine to have permanently etched into my skin – besides perhaps the Appalachian mountains with a laundry line garland, crowned with a bottle of moonshine – I can’t stand beer. So imagine my relief when I woke up to “Baby, You Wouldn’t Last a Minute on the Creek” (my alarm, because I’m sixteen), stretched out my arms and saw that they were free of beer paraphernalia.
And then imagine my panic when I realized that, oh hello, today is Blogathon.
It’s not too late to pledge! This is where I will reiterate the deets:
$10 allows you to give me a word, any word, and I have to use it in a post.
$15 and you can have me take a photo of Henry doing stuff. (He’ll probably flat out refuse anything pornographic, just a heads up on that, ya’ll.)
$20 gives you all of the previously mentioned (wow, what a deal) and a 5×7 original painting on canvas board by my own hand.
$25 and you can dump an mp3 CD in this treasure trove of incentives
$30 and I will sing and record a song of your choice, which I will post on my journal, providing you a soundtrack for when you throw my painting in the trash
The charity I’m blogging for is To Write Love On Her Arms. I’ll be writing more about them as Blogathon drones on, endlessly, slicing my will to live into tragic paper dolls.
So far, what you can expect, thanks to my awesome sponsors (seriously, you guys make my tiny little coal heart spark a little), are pictures of Henry:
- with a fried egg on his head
- cooking couscous
- doing a somersault in his underoos (still trying to convince him of all the awesomeness packed into this one)
- hanging upside down, doing something nice for me
- doing some bad ass air guitar
- MySpace-esque picture with ME
- eating cotton candy or some kind of candy
- Henry kissing me
- Henry doing aerobics
- Henry doing hopscotch, bitches
- being served beer by Alisha
Words my sponsors have chosen for me to use:
- skeet skeet
Songs I have to sing:
- “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” – Andy Gibb
- “Ladies Night” – Kool and the Gang
- “Informer” – Snow (which should be interesting because I can’t find a karaoke version online anywhere)
- “Fuck the Police” – NWA
- “I Was Made For Loving You” – KISS
- “Wannabe” – Spice Girls
Some of you have donated amounts that meet certain incentives but haven’t given me your sponsor wish list, but you know, I’m here all day. And all night. And all morning. So get back to me!
Also, if you’re one of my awesome LiveJournal buds, please for today only don’t comment on the LJ feed. Comment here on my actual blog! I love replying to anyone who takes the time to leave a comment, but since I’m not sent notifications for comments left on the LJ feed, it’s too time-consuming for me to check all 49 posts over there today since I’ll be hustling with the writing. And I want to know what you gots to say, boo. Like, really. I do.
OK, I’ll be at my grandma’s, breaking all the good china over my head. Peace out, girl scout.