Jul 252008
 

Chooch’s Lost Boys figurines arrived yesterday and I feared he was going to start whipping me with chains because I wasn’t opening the box fast enough. I could almost hear the harcore collectors worldwide, wailing in unison as I cut open each figurine’s package. Then we had to have a long talk about how these aren’t really toys, they’re very special collector’s items, so please don’t rub them in cat poop or let your father caress his asshole with them. Both David and Michael came with their own little backdrops and various props, including interchangeable heads and feet in case we decide that the vamped out look is growing older than celebrities wearing Uggs in summer.

Chooch and I shared some tender moments yesterday, renacting scenes. Chooch used Michael to push down David and yelled, "Just you! Just you!" and then I picked up David and said, "Maggots, Michael" and together we embroiled them in mid-air vampire battles. I just wish there was a Star figurine, so I could reenact the sex scene with Michael, only with way more smut, some clown paint, and maybe even that gigantor zucchini Kim gave me.

 

 

Then while Chooch was napping, another package arrived. This one was full of crocheted eyeballs and a cute little zombie made by my awesome friend Sarah, purveyor of the coolest shit you’ve ever seen yarn turned into, such as bacon and eggs. I tucked the largest of the eyeballs next to Chooch while he was napping. When he woke up, he immediately started exclaiming, "Eyeball!! Eyeball!! Oh, eyeball!!" and when I walked into his room, he was standing up and holding it out proudly, like he was presenting me with a bag of golden ballsacks.

At work, I was telling Collin about Chooch’s big mail day. We talked a little about Chooch’s un-toddler-like, road-to-Goth interests, which prompted Collin to jokingly suggest, "You might as well just start painting his nails black."

I laughed, considering this. "Well, they’re pink right now."

  8 Responses to “Encouraging Chooch’s Obsessions”

  1. haha, hooray! wow, that was pretty fast. =D

    • It was! Everything is so fucking cute, too. I love the zombie! Chooch keeps trying to take him and I’m like, “Hands off, kid.”

      And fucking Marcy won’t let any of the other cats play with the mouse!

      You’re awesome. Seriously!

  2. Awesome! How cute is that??

    I totally need David. Michael is a little bit weird looking though.

    Take pics of them with their other heads on! I wanna see!

  3. Yeah, maybe its his pose that bothers me. He’s got that bullied-kid-on-the-playground pose going on. Makes me want to hit him.

  4. When I was a slip of a girl I went to a Star Trek convention. Well, more than one really, but the story is just about one. Anyhow, someone bought a ferengi figurine for their kid and OPENED IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE! I could have died. Especially since those damned things were $60. Of course, my priorities have changed and I opened my Miss Yvonne doll even though she was $40.

    And those action figures are so cute!

  5. you and your kid are the coolest people i know.

    the best part is how dark you guys are… even though you totally don’t look it.

    who needs heavy black eyeliner or spiky hair when your tweets are constantly about murder. that’s REAL goth.

  6. “”Eyeball!! Eyeball!! Oh, eyeball!!” and when I walked into his room, he was standing up and holding it out proudly, like he was presenting me with a bag of golden ballsacks.”

    *cracking up so bad*

    I am impressed with the reality in Kiefer there! Well done!

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