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Dear Friday Blog Readers,

Hello, are you out there?

I mentioned in my Chingumas post that Henry made me a doorbell finally after years of me saying that I wanted a very specific Kraftwerk song as a doorbell and he just finally decided that he would work on that this past November and because nothing ever is easy around here, it turned into a much bigger project than he had hoped for it to be, requiring him to go into the basement and run wires through the wall, etc.

That was fun for him, probably. I mean, what else would he be doing? Sitting in his underroos, eating cereal and watching NCIS? LOL yeah right, he’d be doing one of the other 259 projects on the list, probably.

I had a fleeting thought about blueberries and my eyes started burning with tears so I guess blueberries are still on the No No List because I relate them to Bambi. Is it abnormal that I am still crying every day over her death?

Another thing I’m upset about is the LA wildfires – I can’t think about it without crying and losing my mind. Of course I feel terribly for the people, and the animal lover in me is broken just thinking about the pets and wildlife. I can’t handle it. Sometimes I wish I lacked empathy for real haha. Ugh.

Penelope is very much in her Enhypen era. If I put their videos on she will stop and stare at the TV. So now I started getting more heavily into stanning them and she accused me of copying her.

I miss him. :(

I think I’m in an OK place right now, mentally. I feel more stable and calmer than I have in honestly more than a year. Part of me wonders if I’m just numb, but I don’t think so because I still feel about 60% sad on a daily basis – so I’m definitely still feeling things. But it’s just a general “sad about the world” feeling that can’t really be helped. I saw someone post on Instagram that they have guilt – similar to survivor’s guilt I guess – because they’re still waking up every day and going to work while tragedy is happening all over the world. How do you move past that?? Because this is where I am now. Not knowing what to say or how to help.

On that note, these are pretty much the only things that were on my mind today so now I’m going to go and desensitize myself with Kpop content & start gathering pictures for my Taemin freebies that I’m making for his concert next month. Because if anything is going to make me feel at peace, it’s looking at Taemin’s face. <3

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CHINGUS up here in the JIP

• Corey
• Amy & Dick
• Kara
• Janna
• Glenn & Amanda
• Chris & Monica
• Jill & Jack
• Wendi, Ben & BABY ROONEY
• Wendy
• Zakk
• Amber & Steve
• Lori
• Margie
• Cara
• Lauren
• Sean!

OK I’m going to be a sentimental bitchbaby here, probably for the duration of the whole post. I have looked at these pictures so m any times and felt so happy for truly one of the only times in the past year. The power of friends, you guys. They made me feel less alone in dark times just by sending simple texts (and also being a kitten scout – Kara!), but having them filling my house with laughter was THE TRUE MEANING OF CHINGUMAS. And even better is that I was able to hassle some of them into downloading the Party! camera app so that we could all see each other’s pictures the next morning and it was so fucking fun! It makes me want to have a fake wedding now so that we can use it on a grander scale, lol. Almost all of the photos in this post are from that app which is how I’m actually in pictures from my own party for once!

This wasn’t taken with the app, but here I am with my sibs Corey and Amy! Amy was super excited to sample all of the Korean beer and makgeolli!

Succulents from Jill <3

LOL tteokbokki smudge on my GD goblet. (I WAS DRINKING CASS AND I LIKED IT! Henry had it a few times in Korea and I had a sip once and said, “Wow, that’s actually not bad for beer” but now that I am a real beer drinker – haha – I appreciate it more.)

Actually, I don’t believe that anyone had any soju! Unless they weren’t using the shot glasses, I dunno!

Rooney was a fan of my clown town house :)

A lot of the pictures turned out this way because I was running into rooms, snapping and retreating. Also, some people (WENDY) didn’t know how to turn the flash off so some of these are a real treat and I was cry-laughing while looking through them!

Even Margie used it!!!

Zakk is Chooch’s Janna. He drags him over here every year for my holiday parties and Zakk is probably like, “Jesus Christ when can I go home?” Also, Chooch went to the store for me that day because I needed, well, everything and also I told him to get get a non-alcoholic holiday punch like the kind that Corey was pushing on him from Trader Joe’s on Xmas Eve. But Chooch couldn’t find anything pre-made at Walmart so he googled and found a “Jingle Bell Punch” recipe and subsequently came home with OJ, apple juice, cranberry juice and then had to go back out for Ginger ale. Also, I was going to go to CVS to get some bags of hopefully marked-down Christmas candy but Chooch said he would handle that too and came home with two big $15 bags of Kisses and Miniatures that weren’t IN HOLIDAY WRAPPERS. $30 for two bags of candy!!

But he did get Dolly Parton holiday plates, so that was something.

Cara stood with her purse on for a long time and I was afraid that meant she was going to leave early but she was one of the last to leave, phew. (She did eventually sit down next to Margie.)

SEAN CAME!! And he wore his BLAME HENRY pin from yesteryear. I saw him walk in and screamed from the back porch because I haven’t seen him since my last pre-covid Xmas party in 2019 when I didn’t want to have a party but Wendy made me. “Just have a small one. Invite Sean,” she said. Wendy is always strong-arming me into these things!

We must have been having a serious conversation. Also, Chris (& Monica!) always has the best hair.

Chooch was getting pelted with college questions all night long and learned that Lauren’s sister also went to Drexel!

Did I mention yet that we have a new doorbell that Henry made for me and I was getting so militant about people ringing the doorbell upon entry that if they failed to do so, I would shout at them to go back outside and try again?? Looking back, I feel like I yell at my guests at every party which begs the question: WHY DO MY FRIENDS KEEP COMING BACK? I’m such a party asshole!

Anyway, Margie in particular was like, “I didn’t see a doorbell! Where is it??”

“WHERE DOORBELLS ARE, MARGIE!” I cried. “IT IS LITERALLY LIT UP!”

All of this chaos over a lunatic doorbell.

Eventually, I wasn’t in the living room anymore and Kara took over as doorbell marshal. Between this and years of taking charge with reading the directions at game night, Kara is basically my second in command! Next year, I’m going to have special vest for herto wear, a la elementary school hall monitors, for when she’s on doorbell duty!

That’s Jill behind Amanda – I didn’t get any good photos of her, ugh! This was also her first time at my house and she is still chatting with me on Teams so I guess I didn’t completely scare her away. Meanwhile, Rooney and Jack played on the back porch and were both little delights. Chingumas is all ages, you guys!

The alcohol is NOT all ages though, lol.

This Party! camera is so weird – some pictures came out lovely and others look like I charged up my 2007 Blackberry for the night.

This was 100% when I was making Chris and Monica join the Party! camera. Monica started to do it and then said to Chris, “I’ll just let you handle this.” LOL.

I DON’T BELIEVE JANNA ASKED PERMISSION TO LAUGH.

Thoughtful trifle dissecting.

These pictures are definitely out of order.

Blurry but keeping! Lauren brought me a hostess gift from the Olive Tap – Sorrento lemon olive oil, which Henry quickly claimed was actually a gift for him and has been obsessing over it ever since. “No one ever brings me a gift!” he cried happily and when I reminded him that she gave it to me, he brushed me off and said, “Yeah, but she knows that I am the one who will be using it!”

He was even googling uses for it the other night and it was so annoying.

Old school work reunion!

Also, I love that we’re able to utilize the back porch and kitchen now because party guests can spread out – I remember our Xmas party in 2016 was one of the only times when every single person I ininvited actually showed up and, being contained to just the living room and dining room, it was such a fire hazard probably.

This was when I made Janna go back upstairs and come back so I could get a picture lol.

YES! Inkigayo sandwiches and a Kloud! Wendy was doing it right.

Everyone was reading the old “Book of Henry” that Chooch and I made, ugh, probably 10+ years ago!? I was so happy that it was getting read after all these years, and it was fun to retell old Henry stories, lol.

I can’t believe Monica agreed to hold a baby!

Amber and Lauren were work-gossiping which is the worst thing to when I’m within ear shot because I kept whipping around and saying things like, “WHO?” “WHEN?”

Anyway, Amber and her husband Steve came here straight from Steve’s work party which was a formal event. I was on the back porch when I saw them walk in and had NO IDEA who they were.

This looks like secrets are being spilled.

I truly can’t believe they sat through this all night.

LOL Corey took this picture of SERVICE ERA HENRY on the fridge.

They were playing some game, I don’t even know.

I dunno who brought these, but they were so good!

Corey’s sloppy plate. (I am sincerely so happy with how the trifle came out!)

OMG MORE SECRETS.

Is someone telling ME a secret now!?

Corey sat in that wheelchair for a long time.

LOL Margie took this of Janna.

I don’t even care about my massive double chin here – I was so giddy when Margie took this so it’s staying! This was when I was trying to help Amber download the Party! camera and she wanted a selfie with me to use as her profile picture and it took eleventy thousand tries.

Chronica foot selfie.

I know exactly what I’m doing here! I’m saying JANNA YOU IDIOT THE BOTTLE OPENER IS RIGHT THERE.

All of these adults orbiting the two teenagers all night, beer in hand.

My favorite thing about my parties is that all my friends from different circles end up talking to each other.

Wendy could NOT get her flash turned off!

LOL Lauren.

Me being an Inkigayo Sandwich server.

…and probably also me being an Inkigayo Sandwich defender!

Corey loves to get me going with old Janna stories and I was seriously almost peeing my pants telling the back porch crew about her Robitussin scandal, the time I made cupcakes for game night and made a “special” one for her, and the infamous Poopy Birthday Cake we made for her as a surprise many moons ago. This was me showing off the picture of it, which inspired questions like, “Why is there a Santa spitting out poop?” WHY INDEED.

This picture sums it all up!

Meanwhile, Kara pointed out that all of these years everyone has been like, “Oh poor Henry.”

“But what about Janna?” Kara asked.

“Justice for Janna!” Amanda said, and I almost peed my pants again.

I love this picture so much.

<3

Lori! I walked through the kitchen at one point while Henry was asking her questions about her house and I took that opportunity to offer up Henry’s handyman services, then kept going about my business.

Everyone but Janna and Corey had left by midnight so this was the after-party. It felt so good to lay back on this chair and relax. This was also the FIRST AND ONLY picture Chooch took using the Party! camera the whole night, because he had JUST DOWNLOADED IT right then. So annoying.

I did have a panic attack that night when I was trying to go to sleep which was weird because I did not feel one iota of stress the entire night. Maybe it was just social overload. Maybe that means I shouldn’t wait until the end of the year to hang out with all of my friends in one go??

I also felt that this year’s was a lot better than last year’s. I missed the people from last year who couldn’t attend this time, but I just felt so much calmer overall and when I think back to last year’s, I feel like I didn’t talk to anyone. This year, I had some good chats with pretty much everyone and it just felt really good. It was a good way to end a not so great year – with the reminder that if you have good friends in your life, things can’t be all that bad.

CHINGUMAS! CHINGUMAS!

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Henry got me this Seoul skyline ring for Christmas and it is so special. <3

In other news, I made Henry do a Paul Eugene seniors aerobic walk to the oldies workout tonight because god love Paul Eugene. We were doing low kicks when Penelope walked into the room. Henry jokingly pretended to (gently) kick.

Right then, Paul Eugene said, “Don’t kick the kitty!”

I really needed that moment of levity so much today!

Anyway, this has been a general Tuesday in the life of Erin.

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For this year’s Chingumas, I thought it would be cute to make party favors so I bought some cute gift bags, filled them with thoughtful Korean treats, Ediya instant coffee sticks (Ediya is a really popular cafe chain in Korea, and forget what you think you know about instant coffee because Korean instant coffee is actually really good! I used to keep a box in my desk at work because whatever coffee we were provided with the coffee machine on each floor was…not good.). I spent weeks procuring the contents, and then a few more weeks convincing Henry to pose for pictures that we could turn into pocas  (photo cards) to also include.

LOL.

Henry also made little pots of vegan kimchi (original and cucumber-style) and I made labels for them because it’s the least I can do when a project involves food.

One of my favorite Korean treats is patbingsu, which is made of the softest, snowiest shaved ice, and flavored with pat (sweet red bean paste which is a staple in Asian desserts and one of my favorite flavors ever) and injeolmi – soft rice cakes covered in sweet soy bean powder which has a lightly sweet and nutty flavor. I had the great idea of taking that and making it into a trifle. Henry replaced the shaved ice with a sweet cream similar to that found in Korean bbang (bread/buns), the bottom layer was made of Choco Pie, a middle layer was crumbled matcha Choco Pie since matcha is also a very popular bingsu flavor, and then of course the pat layer. We topped it with just injeolmi and not more pat because people are weirded out by sweet red beans! It’s crazy to me how many people were like “nope, that’s disgusting” when I got to the red bean part of the ingredient explanation and am grateful to Kara who backed me up on the delicious “don’t knock it till you try it” virtues of pat.

This is patbingsu in its original form ^^^

And this is our trifle version of it:

We always included a small carafe of condensed milk to drizzle over each serving, a la the true Korean-style.

In full disclosure, Henry and I 100% were winging it. He did a trial run of the injeolmi a week before, but we left the rest up to fate and I am happy to say that it turned out better than I could have imagined! All of the flavors worked well. The Choco Pie soaked up some of the cream so it was moist and provided just the right amount of texture. Sorry to those who were too wimpy to try it because OMG beans. Ya gotta have at least SOME sense of adventure & willingness to try new things if you come to a party celebrating Asian culture!

The next contentious item was the mini Inkigayo sandwiches we made.

These sandwiches are very beloved in our family. The short version is that they used to be served in the cafeteria of the TV station that airs the weekly Inkigayo music show. Inkigayo means “popular song” and the show is sort of like TRL, to give it American context. These sandwiches were super popular with idols and there is even some lore behind them that idols were using them to covertly give out their phone numbers to other idols since everything has to be done secret because of dating bans in their contracts.

When fans found out about this, it made them want to try the sandwiches but they were not available to the public. Various convenience stores started making their own versions of the “idol sandwich” and we ate the fuck out of them the first two times we were in Korea. I heard that the cafeteria no longer makes them, possibly because the creator of the recipe no longer works there? Anyway, we loved them so much that Henry found a recipe and started making them for us to eat on Easter – Eastergayo sandwiches, lol.

I made these cutie foodpick flags from screenshots of actual Inkigayo footage.

The OG recipe has imitation crab meat, so Henry made some like that too and put it on a separate plate with different food picks in them to differentiate. I think everyone who tried one liked it but there were still a bunch of people were like BIG NOPE.

And to that I say BIG SHRUG.

(Although there was someone who said they just genuinely don’t like egg salad I think so I will let that one slide!)

My black sesame shortbread cookies! I loved how these turned out – they had the nostalgic texture of a Keebler Sandies, sort of?? And they weren’t too sweet which I really appreciated. Also, I say “my” cookies because it was idea to make them but all I did was order the cookie cutter and send Henry the recipe LOL.

KIMBAP FOR DAYS. We put vegan bulgogi and smoked tofu in some of them. I told Henry he had to make extra this year because last year we ran out very early into the party, and of course our biggest kimbap fans didn’t come this time so we had so much left. I wasn’t complaining though because I could live on kimbap so I ate very well for the next few days!

The one thing, my actual favorite thing, that I failed to photograph was the crockpot chockful of tteokbokki that we left on the kitchen counter. I love tteokbokki and would happily eat it every day if I wasn’t so hyper-conscious of my waistline. It is always the first thing I eat when we get to Korea! There is nothing in the world like a paper cup of tteokbokki served straight from a street food cart by an ahjumma. It is my favorite comfort food right up there with grilled cheese and now I’m wondering why I have never combined the two?!?! Tteokbooki halves inside of a grilled cheese?!?!

SHOULD THIS BE NEXT YEAR’S CHINGUMAS FINGER SANDWICH!?

FFEOK ME UP, TTEOK.

^^^ Actual footage of tteokbokki that we ate in Namdaemun Market on our wedding day! <3

Ugh, I love so many things about Korea and just want to spend the rest of my life sharing that with my friends no matter how hard they resist.

Here’s the box of treat bags and kimchi that sat there ALL NIGHT until I locked the door after the last person left at 1:30am and noticed it. I hadn’t given out the favors to a single fucking party person the entire night. Literally screamed, “MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRR!!!” and then could barely sleep that night. Luckily, with the help of Chooch, a/k/a Mr. Always Looking for a Reason to Take the Car, I have successfully delivered these to most everyone at this point.

I’m excited for the next post, which is just a collection of pictures of my friends Chingu’ing it up with other. We really put so much effort into these parties, even crossing state lines (3x!) to round up Korean beer, and it means so much to me when people show up for this. Even when I yell at them for not ringing the doorbell and make them go outside and try again, or scold people for calling kimbap “sushi”* – I know I get a “little” out of control but it’s just in my nature! And if I’m having a Korean-themed party, it’s only right that I commit to the cause! I think everyone is used to it. “We’re going to Erin’s to get yelled at and have curious foods shoved in our faces. Not to mention constant kpop** in the background.”

Thanks for indulging me!

*(Next year I’ll have information sheets pasted throughout the house, but until then, here’s some facts to prove that they are different and I do believe that it would be pretty offensive to call it sushi in front of Korean, but that’s just me having thin skin when it comes to defending Korea I guess.)

**(here’s the playlist of YouTube videos which you will note is a BTS-free zone lol.)

 

 

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Booooo, we took Chooch back to Philly today. Unlike after Thanksgiving, this was a much better experience. Drove straight there. No fighting. Everyone was in a good mood. I helped Chooch take his stuff back to his room and organized his stack of games while I was at it because they were encroaching on his roommate’s side of the room.

Then we went to Nourish for a late vegan lunch and it was gooooood.

Buffalo wings and scallops to start.

Henry’s Philly steak or whatever. (It was fucking magnificent.)

Chooch had a chik’un Philly cheesesteak thing which I tasted after I had already declared mine the best of the bunch and now I’m just not sure because that seasoning, the peppers, the sauce. Sheesh.

LOOK AT THIS THICC BOY ARE U KIDDING. I have never had a sandwich that tall before.

Not even the Inkigayo!

It took me OUT. I ate half and honestly probably could have housed the rest but Henry gave me the “you’ll get sick” speech so I tapped out and am already anticipating polishing it off later tonight on the road.

Chooch walking the streets of Philly in his Seahawks hoodie and Minion crocs. Sigh.

I briefly got to see one of his friends he’ll be living with next year and then he quickly hugged me and that was that…

…until he came running back to the car because he lost his room key in the backseat and found it lodged inside the middle console thingie. Jesus Christ, him and keys, wallets, and debit cards. I can’t.

ETA Sheetz over Wawa everyday all day long. Fuck Wawa, truly.

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First Friday Five of the New Year, what’s good yo.

1. My Top Nine of 2024

I had already checked out my Top 9 earlier in the month, but now you apparently have to pay to UNLOCK the middle picture? Too bad I already know that it’s the picture of my Bambi memorial tattoo, nice try Diddy.

I feel that these are pretty self-explanatory but:

1. Married in Korea
2. Chooch’s last day of high school
3. Chooch’s graduation
4. Chooch’s first day of senior (wow, a theme you say)
5.  :(
6. Chooch’s graduation party
7. Bambi’s memorial IG post :(
8. Making our wedding bands in Korea
9. A click-bait re: Chooch letting me buy him a jacket in Korea because it was March and chilly and he only packed t-shirts per his norm.

2. We Got a Rug

….we got a rug. It doesn’t fit the entire back porch but it covers most of the cold cement that wasn’t already covered by another rug. I like this. It was cheap and fits the bill. And so PINK! It arrived just in time for Chingumas which was nice because the weather was mild enough to use the porch as a “party annex” and the rug made it feel so cozy.

3. Suprise Package

My co-worker Amanda sent me this cute squirrel dish towel set for Christmas and I thought that was really nice. And speaking of my squirrels.

One of my neighborhood squirrels came to the porch last week, begging for walnuts. I started to open the door to put walnuts in his bowl (literally a small pet food bowl that I keep on a chair on the porch – they’re so spoiled) but one of my neighbors was outside so I didn’t want to get stuck talking. Instead, I opened the door a bit and tossed some walnuts onto the porch….

Buddy jumped off the chair, sniffed the walnuts, stood up at my front door with his paw on the window, gave me A LOOK (I swear to God) and then jumped back on the chair next to his bowl. He wouldn’t eat the walnuts off the ground because he wanted them in his bowl!! They have me wrapped around their creepy little fingers!

4. Petty Post-Christmas Feelings

Although, I have confirmed with several people and my therapist that my feelings are valid. But on Christmas Eve, I had taken a large bottle of Delirium Noel to Corey’s house so that we could all enjoy it with dinner. My mom didn’t have any of it, so I was surprised the next day when she texted me some questions about it, i.e. where I bought it, how much. I was so stoked about this because silly me, I thought she was showing an interest in something that I clearly based on my exuberant Belgian beer gushing at Christmas Eve dinner.

But no, she was just interested because her best friend’s daughter who she is like obsessed with and likes so much more than me “likes beer” – just “beer” in general I guess so presumably my mom is going to get her a bottle or tell her about it, or adopt her as her own daughter and turn the attic into one large bedroom for her with a slide that goes down into my old bedroom which will be converted into a walk-in closet/lounge area which was something that I wanted to happen when I still lived at home BUT NEVER DID probably because my dad intervened, who knows.

But yeah, I’m jealous of a girl I only met once when I was in my 20s and she was like, who knows, 5 or something and even then my mom was smitten with her and me, the 20-something year old, got so upset at my mom’s house when we were all over there one summer afternoon that I hid for hours underneath the antique roll-top desk in the living room and no one cared except for Corey, and Henry’s sons, who were all in elementary school at the time, and they were the only ones trying to find me.

Suddenly, a text message about Delirium had me wanting to hide under antique furniture all over again, age 45.

I talked about this in therapy yesterday because my therapist knew I was anxious about seeing my mom on Christmas Eve and I just started pouring it all out of my brain and heart and she was like, “This is really unfortunate because you live such a cool and colorful life and you and Henry are always going places and doing fun stuff, but she doesn’t show any interest in knowing this about you.” And that’s it for me, exactly. What else can I do? Nothing really. I have to just live the best life I can for myself, for Henry, and for Chooch and that has to be enough. I know this deep down and I know that with a lot of hard work therapy will eventually help me with that but everything still feels so raw like it was yesterday that I moved out of her house.

HAHAHA FAMILY AMIRITE.

5. End of a (sweet) era

Our Sugarspell Scoops friends are temporarily closing shop here soon because they were not able to come to an agreement with their landlord, so we stopped by last weekend to stock on some pints and give them some Kpop Dad’s (Vegan) Kimchi, haha.  I have loved supporting these guys over the years and am confident that once they find a new location, people will follow.

Anyway, we got a Ho-Hos pint and dammit if it doesn’t actually taste like frozen Ho-Hos in ice cream! It made me nostalgic because I can’t remember the last time I had a Ho-Ho (they were my faves as a kid until I discovered Zebra Cakes in the middle school cafeteria) and I attribute much of baby-fat to those delicious rolls of processed sugar.

——————————-

A BONUS PICTURE OF PENELOPE THROUGH THE CHRISTMAS LENS:

 

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New Year’s Eve was relatively boring and lowkey which is really all I wanted because I wasn’t feeling celebratory by any means. Henry and I just watched kpop stuff and had like, 1.5 drinks. We go hard.

But then Chooch started messing around with stuff on his new phone, for example, he made an emoji that looks nothing like me by putting in “woman crying” because that’s me.

Then he showed me a picture he made of his friend Zakk as a farmer using Apple AI and I was like OOOH MAKE ONE OF JANNA HOLDING POOP IN HER HANDS AND IT’S BEING SQUEEZED THROUGH HER FINGERS!!

I laughed so hard that it turned into a really painful wheeze. Apparently poop is a banned word so he had to use manure.

This was supposed to be Janna sick and slurping Robitussin.

But he said it wouldn’t accept the sick command and he had to get creative with Robitussin, nevertheless Corey knew exactly what it was supposed to be and died along with me when I sent it to him that night lol.

LOL the nose specifically is so accurate. Uncanny.

this was supposed to be in Korea holding a lightstick but all variations of SK and Seoul are banned, but it took the lightstick portion very literally!

I tied this is a few weeks ago in Instagram but it wouldn’t give me any results for “Danny Bonaduce dressed as a clown on a toilet” so I quit.

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I hated 2024 A LOT a lot. It was full of death, stress, college tuition hardships, mental and emotional breakdowns that had me wishing death upon myself more times than I can count most vividly in a parking garage outside of Chicago where I had the scariest fleeting thoughts of “what if I just jumped?”, all while trying to get comfortable in this new chapter of life where Chooch doesn’t live here anymore. I haven’t felt this out of control since my early 20s. This past year made me lose myself in ways that are terrifying and I have spent the second half of 2024 working through that in therapy but so far I still feel the same.

Yeah, there were good moments but the bad / tragic / traumatic really do overshadow what looks like it could have been one of the best years of my life. I don’t even have the energy to recap those moments so instead here is a picture of me casually blending into a rug and wishing it would just completely engulf me forever. C H E E R S.

I hope 2025 is gentle on all of us.

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We were in the middle of having a holiday party to celebrate South Korea and their food and culture when the Jeju plane crash happened. The irony is not lost on me.

Seeing that news alert come through on my phone was a sickening jolt. It made me feel a real icky type of way to be smack in the middle of a party with Korean food on the table and Kpop videos playing on TV.

South Korea, being an empathetic country, are currently in a seven day mourning period. Entertainment broadcasts and schedules have been postponed or canceled. As such, I am going to wait until the weekend to post about Chingumas 2.0 here and Instagram.

So here are two pictures of Chooch instead. I have been loving having him home and really don’t want to take him back to Philly on Saturday. :(

I got him those pants for Christmas because he’s a college kid so living in PJ pants is now part of who he is.

I made him come downstairs because some of the YouTubers that were on that coaster trip with us OVER A YEAR AGO are still posting content from it so I begged him to watch the latest one with us. He came down but teased Penelope and then did phone stuff the whole time but at least he was sitting with us! It gave me time to pelt him with questions, such as DO YOU LOVE US ARE YOU HAPPY DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHILDHOOD DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY IF SO WILL YOU HAVE KIDS AND TAKE THEM TO LISEBERG* IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD.

Breathe, Erin. Breathe.

*(Liseberg is a theme park in Gothenburg, Sweden and was the YouTube vlog we were currently watching.)

Well, it’s New Years Eve. I think we might start watching Squid Games 2 tonight. T.O.P. formerly of BIGBANG is in it and I want to see him. Also really excited to say goodbye to 2024.

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I’m really grateful that Corey offered to host Christmas Eve at his house this year. We put way too much money, time and effort into the planning of Chingumas 2024 and I think doing Christmas on top of that would have broken us. Granted, Henry still spent most of the day cooking but at least we didn’t have to set up and clean too, etc.

Oh!! I forgot to mention that a fucking HAWK came to hang out in the backyard THREE TIMES during the day. It was so maddening and took up a large part of the day, our amateur efforts to chase the fucker away.

Without hurting it, Chooch was pinging the tree branch with pennies from his window and Henry was trying to distract it with a laser pointer while I was trying to make sure he didn’t set his sights on any of the squirrels who were BLATANTLY frolicking around until they finally realized what was going on.

It’s probably a bad thing (ok it is and I know it) but the squirrels have a Pavlovian response to me and immediately started prancing around me thinking I had peanuts. I was HISSING, “Guys, be careful!!! Do you want to die!??”

Aish!! So annoying and stressful!! But Henry eventually scared it off when he tapped the laser pointer against our car – he could tolerate objects cruising past him in the tree but a TAPPING sound was far too much.

Buhbye motherfucker.

Corey’s famous spinach dip! It’s a running joke because this was all he could handle making when he hosted for the first time two years ago and he was sending me (of all people!) frantic text questions from the grocery store like I have a secret Julia Child gene waiting for that precise moment to present itself.

This time, he texted me the day before because he COULDNT FIND THE ORIGINAL RECIPE HE USED BEFORE! Luckily he found a substitute (they’re pretty much all the same though right??!!).

Apparently our dad gave him a wholesale quantity of paper plates so Corey’s been trying to use them up. Hence, these festive day of the dead plates (why did our dad have these in the first place????)

Everything was great! Henry made a vegan shepherds pie which I admittedly thought was just mid that night but in leftover form, it was fantastic. There was some red wine action going on in it and it was like the gift kept on giving as days went on.

My mom made some savory cornbread-ish casserole which was my favorite thing that night. She also brought her famous potato casserole which I loved since I was a wee one but Chooch was like THERE IS HAM IN THIS SUDDENLY and I said NO U MUST BE MISTAKEN SHE WOULD NEVER and Henry was like I CAN CONFIRM THAT SHE PUT HAM IN THIS.

I was lowkey moody about that.

Corey had this non-alcoholic option on hand for Chooch and kept plying him with it. HAVE MORE PUNCH! he kept saying, popping around corners, from under tables, hanging from the rafters with the bottle in hand. Chooch was like “what is the deal with this punch?!” OK, Uncle Jim Jones!

I was trying to go easy on Henry by suggesting that we just buy a pie to bring but after a few days of frustrating searching, he decided to just make a pie after all. Instead of something fancy and outrageous like I usually throw at him, I said he should hat keep it simple and make a sweet potato pie. As he was scrolling through recipes, I yelled, “Stop! Does that say PATTI LABELLES sweet potato pie?! That’s the one.”

Corey is mildly obsessed with the retro footage of Patti Labelle singing at a Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony in the 90s (I can’t remember what it was specifically but the Clintons were there and it was nationally broadcast, so not some podunk town’s festival or anything). She doesn’t know the words, the cue cards aren’t in the right order, she doesn’t have her backup singers and repeatedly yell-sings, “WHERE MY BACKUP SINGERS” – it’s a mess but soooo funny and she actually handles it pretty well considering. I’d have swan-dived off the stage into a nest of electrical equipment if that happened to me.

I want this to happen to Halsey now.

Anyway, Corey really appreciated this!

Conversation during dinner ebbed and flowed – when Corey and I were telling stories, everyone was laughing, but if Corey and I aren’t talking we’d probably go through the entire meal in silence. I eventually started peppering our brother Ryan with questions about Las Vegas (he goes A LOT and his trips are next level, is all I’m saying) and once you get Ryan talking, all is well.

But it does make me sad. I shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable around my family especially since we were all relatively close when I was growing up, but I just kind of feel that no one really cares about my life, what I do, etc. and you know, it is what it is.

Chooch found an old receipt for a picture that was taken somewhere in the pocket of this coat that I haven’t worn in years – we spent entirely too much time that night fixating on it and googling, but chooch and Henry came to the conclusion that it must have been from Dutch Wonderland when we went there in 2010.

What a seriously lame mystery.

Then me, Corey, Chooch and Henry played … Ugh I forget the name of it but it’s like the commercially packaged version of the lip reading game that Kpop idols always play. Henry and I were a team and we killed it – Henry is obviously really good at reading lips because he can barely hear but I think I’m just naturally good at everything in general, as expected. Just that I was born that way, you know.

Then the three of them played Scattergories. I retired from this game because when you always win at something, it gets old. You probably don’t know what that feels like but trust my word ok.

Apparently, Chooch has learned a lot from me because his answers were so questionable that I had to step in as a judge numerous times. Then Henry went to the bathroom and they didn’t want to wait so I was tapped in as his substitute and immediately blew Corey and Chooch out of the water, you’re welcome for the victory, Henry.

Afterward, Chooch began rifling through old historical answers that were still in the box and he goes, “oh this HAS to be one of yours” as he read off hysterical and alliterational made-up answers.

“No wonder people don’t want to play this with you anymore,” he said. Whoa whoa whoa where did he hear that from?!

(My mom brought a bag of old pictures over from her house and that’s what Ryan was doing in the background while my mom was watching TikTok videos or something probably.)

Apparently Chooch is really into the Seahawks?! When Ryan asked me a few weeks ago what he could get him, I was like “he’s randomly into the Seahawks for some reason” and Ryan was like, “the SEATTLE Seahawks? That is random but ok” and then proceeded to gift him a Seahawks starter set basically lol.

Corey got me this candle (lol) and I got him a “now-playing” sweatshirt with Avril Lavine’s I’m With You on it because that’s another thing he’s obsessed with and he sends me reels about it every now and then (it was more like “very frequently” there for a while lol).

And I got Ryan a set of pint glasses that have the street grid of Las Vegas engraved in it.

Ryan got me a bunch of Erin-centric thing including this balloon dog sculpture which is one of those things that I always say “ooh I want that!” when I see it in online shops but I never buy it for myself. Anyway, I was dying when we came home and put it on the beverage buffet because I realized just how perfectly placed it really is:

And that pretty much wraps up Xmas Eve! It hit me later on that this might be the last Christmas in this form for a while because next year, Chooch will be doing his co-op and he won’t get a traditional Christmas break. Whether he gets just Xmas Day, or also Xmas Eve, etc will be dependent upon the company his co-op will be at. So we might be going to Philly to spend Christmas with him there next year. Who knows.

Ch-ch-ch-changes. I can’t stand it.

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The last several years, my brother Corey has been gung-ho about the Kelly sibs recreating old pictures. It sucks for me because Corey was born in 1990, at the height of my UG YEARS, so I look like trash in most of these pictures, but I still go along with it because that’s….that’s just the type of loving, supportive sister that I am!

Last year, I suggested a Santa picture for us to recreate, with Henry as Santa. I think Corey was utterly uncomfortable with the idea of sitting on Henry’s lap, so my suggestion was just kind of glossed over. This year though, Corey was like SHIT WE DIDN’T CHOOSE A PICTURE.

“Hear me out,” I said, which is usually the prelude to something sinister when coming from me. “We use that same Santa one I suggested last year, but CHOOCH will be Santa.”

Corey loved it.

Ryan was like, “I will do whatever you freaks say, just leave me alone for the rest of the year.” I mean, he didn’t say that but it was implied. I’m good at interpreting.

“Just so you know, you’re helping us with this year’s picture,” I said to Chooch earlier in the day on Christmas Eve.

“Yeah I know, I always take the picture,” he said.

“No….I mean, this time—”

“Don’t tell me I have to be Santa or something,” he sighed.

DING DANG DONG!

Here he is getting into the Kris Kringle zone while we were waiting for Ryan who we feared was about to pull a runner when we heard the front door open and close.

The Picture.

“You have to put your hands on my hips!” Corey scream-laughed while Chooch just looked like your typical apathetic 18 year old, like he was about to look at the imaginary TV documentary crew and say, “I came home from college for this.”

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Thank god for the “live” feature on photos because Corey’s laughter was the best part!

We also did this one, which was much easier even though they were originally on the wrong sides of me so we had to do a quick re-do right as Ryan was trying to flee the scene:

Ryan was like, “Jesus, your shoulder is low” lol.

And then a normal one!

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Merry Christmas from us dumbos over here in Pittsburgh! It’s definitely been a weird one, not bad by any means, but with Chooch being a college kid now, the unwrapping of presents is kind of anticlimactic. Most of what we got him he’s either already received, it’s in the mail, or I’m just giving him my credit card to get himself after Christmas. He seems fine with it – he’s never been a bratty kid when it comes to things like that (unlike me LOL) and it’s just been nice having him home.

We did the whole Christmas Eve shebang at Corey’s with my mom and brother Ryan, so I’ll recap that here soon too – it was nice and we laughed A LOT.

Today, we went to Pink Box to get our traditional Asian buns, went to Homewood Cemetery where I had a mild fit because there were SO MANY people there strolling about and the spot where it’s most convenient for me to set up my tripod was a veritable hotbed of activity. I was getting snippy about it but it somehow, miracle of miracles, didn’t progress any further from a small, quick spark of irritation. Therapy. LOL.

So, we ended up going to our OG Christmas Cem spot – Uniondale on the Northside. It’s been a minute since we were there (Henry pointed out to Chooch where I wrecked the car in 2022 and blamed on him hahah) and it was nice. Chooch, suddenly into football, was glad because it’s on a hill above Heinz Field (get the fuck outta here with that new name, I refuse) so he was able to hear the Steelers game in person. Suddenly, he was OK with cemetery pictures.

Dude, I just really love my dumb little family and will grasp any opportunity for a family photo!

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OK let’s put a fork in this Jingle Ball series – it’s been exactly two weeks since we were there at this point! I just want to say that I was extremely comforted by the amount of NCT lightsticks (and even some Monsta X ones!) that were dotting the crowd. I had been so nervous about attending a mostly non-Kpop concert, wondering what the fans were going to be like, if there would be assholes around me mocking the Kpop performers in the line-up. I can’t speak for the rest of the arena, but at least in our section we seemed to be buffeted by lots of Kpop stans. Some arrogant looking white men as well, but I didn’t hear anything derogatory from their mouths polluting the air.

YOU GUYS, MOTHERFUCKING WONHO. While I have always liked Monsta X and was gutted when Wonho stepped away in order to protect the group’s name when he was being investigated for some bogus drug allegation (spoiler: he was cleared, but now without a group), I truly think that Wonho absolutely shines as a solo artist. I can say without hesitation that I stan him harder as a soloist than I ever stanned Monsta X. He is talented, has a great personality, and more than enough charisma to hold his own out there.

I still remember the EXACT MOMENT I heard his single “Losing You” – it was in August 2020 when we dared to take a safe, masked day trip to Erie. This song came on the kpop Spotify playlist we had on in the car and I spontaneously burst into tears. I had to immediately look to see who it was and have been a Wonho solo stan (a Wenee!) ever since.

I knew he likely wouldn’t perform this at Jingle Ball because it’s kind of a downer lol, but he did sing my second favorite – Ain’t About You – and I was soooo stoked!

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You guys, I was SWEATING. It was worth every penny to get to see Wonho in the flesh, perform 4 songs. Take me back! And apparently, he was QUITE popular with the I Heart Radio people too as evidenced by the extra love he was given on their Instagram, lol. They are STILL posting about him!

NCT Dream was fourth, and I was READY! Especially after that juicy Wonho appetizer! (That was gross, apologies.)

Oh, my faves. My 7Dream. Renjun is BACK. It was so sad to see them perform on their Dreamscape tour last September without him, and to be honest, since he came back from hiatus last month, I have been very skeptical of his health and have watched him like a hawk because I’m a psycho kpop mom, I dunno, it’s weird but I genuinely care about him and his lack of stability and well-being has been so troublesome. He looked, to me, not ready to be back but by the time Jingle Ball rolled around, he….OK he still appeared to be somewhat of a shell of himself but getting better. And now that they’re back in Korea, he’s been looking even more himself and less like a zombie. I don’t know if he’s on medication, something for anxiety, or what, but in some of the videos I watched from the European leg of their tour after the US one, he looked like he was going off of muscle memory and kind of just stood there in between songs.

Which is why I wish people would be mindful of the fact that music artists and celebrities are people too and just because you CAN say hateful things about them on the Internet, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Particularly with Kpop artists, a large part of their job requires them to regularly interact with fans on social media platforms, fan meets, fan calls, etc. Words fucking matter. And these agencies do fuck all to actually protect their artists from this fucked up abuse and bullying.

It enrages me, honestly.

But yeah, I screamed the loudest for his parts. Renjun forever.

I could listen to the last 20 seconds of this song over and over and over – you can ask Henry. I will SHUSH him with vigor if he deigns to speak over this part.

Also, I was so excited to see them perform their new song, which came out after I saw them in September!

The other night, Janna gave me a heads up that some of the Jingle Ball performances were being televised on ABC and she recorded NCT Dream for me on her phone, lol. I did find it on YouTube though! This must have been from the LA show:

I felt so good after this. Yes, it was only 4 songs – was it ridiculous to drive to Detroit for 4 songs? Nope. Worth every single penny. Because in addition to Jingle Ball, we just genuinely had a really good time away together. It was like a reset. I have been so far from myself this past year, and even worse after Drew died, that it was driving a wedge between Henry and me. Like, congratulations, you finally got married after 23 years, but now here’s all this uncontrollable stress and grief for you to wade through. Good luck, newlyweds!

Therapy, kpop, and Henry’s unwavering patience have been getting me through this, so while the Jingle Ball might seem like the antithesis of everything I stand for (American Top 40 is mostly a no for me, fam!), this ended up being a pivotal moment in my journey to getting better. Thank you, Wonho. Thank you, NCT Dream. Thank you, Henry.

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Drama on Pioneer

(Copy-pasta’d from my text messages to my brother because it’s over a week at this point and I have blog apathy.)

Around 630 I was exercising and someone KICKED THE DOOR OPEN really hard – I have boxes behind the door with Christmas stuff for goodwill and the door opened so forcibly that it smashed the boxes.

Corey: OMG???

I thought it was chooch coming home and being his typical dick self so I yelled WTF in my mom voice. Went outside and no one was there.

Henry was in the basement and came running upstairs to see what it was bc he heard it so he went outside to look and was asking our neighbors with the dog Zeus if they saw anyway bc their door is always open but they didn’t. So then Henry called HNC and they were like prowling around together out there like real American heroes but didn’t see anyone. HNC said he heard noises in the backyard a little bit later and they both went out again. HENRY WAS WEARING HIS HEADLAMP THING LIKE A DORK.

Hours went by and nothing was going on. Then around 9pmI was upstairs in the bathroom snd I heard commotion in the driveway. I thought it was HNC throwing his garbage out and didn’t think anything of it. THEN HNC’S WIFE CALLED ME

Corey: OMG!!

Apparently someone was also kicking her door!!!!! So she called the police. Meanwhile Henry turned on the police scanner because he’s That Guy and the dispatcher was in the middle of profiling a group of 6 kids.

HNC’S WIFE sent the cops here!! I AM DRUNKISH?! And had to give a statement lol

Henry said I was slurring and was embarrassed. Anyway it’s apparently kids and the cops have gotten a bunch of calls. They said I probably really scared them when my door was actually opened. I was like “man they were fast!!!” Then they told me to lock the door and left lol. It actually was very scary though when that happened because my door came FLYING open. I was like “I was just hoping it was a Friday the 13th thing” and they were like “yeah, that’s exactly what it is” and they seemed so annoyed to be dealing with this lol.

My favorite part was when HNC’S WIFE called and said NOW I HAVE TO PUT MY ROBE ON like it was my fault when she was the one who called the effing police!!!

Henry was pissed because I went right back to exercising after seeing no one was on the porch. He was like are you kidding me?? Maybe they got scared because they saw I had weights in my hands haha.

A Sad Saturday

The husband of one of my co-workers recently passed away so I went to the funeral home last Saturday for the viewing. Wendy and Sue were also there, thank God, because I am so fucking worthless in these situations. I just smile sadly, nod, and quietly repeat what everyone else is saying.

Of course it was unbearably sad. I am not close with this co-worker – she moved to our department during the pandemic so we had to train her virtually which is not great. And then when I was going into the office every Tuesday, I would see her then and we would chat a bit. But I still felt as though I should show my support in person. I’m glad that I went and got to see her, but it made me extremely clingy to Henry for the rest of the weekend and I am currently still in the throes of a mortality crisis.

Later that night, Henry and I went to the movie theater in Robinson to see the “live broadcast” of Seventeen’s concert in Osaka. It was being broadcast in 1500 theaters across 64 countries so I think in some places, it actually was “live.” But for us, it was about 12 hours after the fact. It was still really cool though because Seventeen acknowledged the fact that this particular concert was being recorded / livestreamed so it felt super meta every time they added “and the Carats watching in the movie theaters.”

It was essentially the same concert / setlist that we saw when they were touring the US but their Asian concerts are on such a larger scale, with a full band, etc. Plus, they performed their new Japanese single and I sat there with big fat tears rolling down my cheeks.

Not Henry pouting because he wasn’t the only Kpop Dad in the theater haha.

The only bad thing about this evening was that there were two girls and a mom at the other end of our row and the one girl NEVER STOPPED TALKING AND GIGGLING through the whole thing. I could hear her over top of everything and it was so rude and obnoxious. First of all, these tickets were $20 a person (am I just old or is that A LOT for a movie theater??) so kindly STFU. Her cackling was going right through me. What could she POSSIBLY have to talk about throughout the whole 3.5 hours of this?! TAKE A BREAK, KID.

I’m really glad that we went to this. We both love Seventeen so much – yes, Henry too. I was annoyed when I came out of the bathroom afterward because I caught the tail end of a conversation he was having with some girl who was also there for the Seventeen concert broadcast thing and she apparently called him a “trooper” for “sitting through the whole thing” and instead of being like, “I like Seventeen too” he played the exhausted martyr card by saying, “Oh, this isn’t even the worst I’ve done for kpop” or something. Ugh.

Sunday Is For Housework

Henry finally finished patching the giant hole that we’ve had in our ceiling since 2019, you know the one that our slumlord ignores even though he has seen it in person when he walked through our house WITH AN INSPECTOR a few years ago.

We were going to try to buy a house once Chooch left for college but our financial situation with that changed considerably so now I believe we will die in this rental duplex.

It is what it is, as they say.

The rest of Sunday was full of quality time with Penelope and counting down the minutes until the VIP packages for Taemin’s upcoming US tour went on sale.

^^^ This was basically me after spending almost 2 hours in a queue, KNOWING FULL WELL that everything was going to be sold out, but seeing it out to the end because I felt so invested at that point.

It was such a cluster. Taemin fans across the country (and in Europe too) have been so pissed about how this tour is being handled. Taemin left his original agency (SM Entertainment – one of the “big 3” agencies in Korea) for a very small company and I think they grossly underestimated his popularity outside of Korea. I also am trying to be understanding of the fact that they don’t have the same kind of $$$$$$ to throw into a world tour but damn, it’s been a terrible experience so far.

“Oh no,” Chooch monotoned when I told him I didn’t get VIP. “Now Taemin won’t glance at you.”

(One of the perks is the ability to “wave and make eye contact with the artist from a close distance” LOL.)

Well, that’s a recap of the main events from last weekend. Oh!! And I watched the new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie – “Our Little Secret” – on Netflix, lol. It was cute and helped calm my “impending VIP cluster” nerves.

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