We had the best weekend in Detroit seeing one of my absolute faves, Onew from SHINee. There is so much to unpack but I want to just say for now that our good friends Bill & Jessi (two more of my absolute faves!) made time to meet us for breakfast this morning before we headed back to Pittsburgh. We met at the Red Apple, a local joint that they first took us to probably the first time we visited them I think?! We’ve gone back several times with them since and it’s just a whole vibe – cozy and frozen in time, the perfect backdrop for breakfast and good convo.

I just love how we only see each other once a year but it always feels like we pick right back up. I told Henry on the way up yesterday that I couldn’t wait to tell them about Janna falling into the grave (look in my head it happened, ok??) because I knew they’d appreciate it AND THEY DID.

It was sad not having Chooch with us. His presence was missed big time. Bill & Jessi have always been THOSE family friends to him, you know? He has such a great relationship with them and I attribute a lot of who has grown into to the good quality friends of ours who have been there for him all these years, and Bill & Jessi are definitely that. And we’re all at that age now where we find ourselves openly marveling over how long we’ve been friends, every time we meet up! God bless, LiveJournal.

It’s not that I haven’t always appreciated my friends but you know how weird I have been lately! Every day feels like one big ‘ment’ anymore. (For you non-kpop fans, ments are when kpop artists talk during the concerts about how special the night is, etc. literally “sentiments.”) And I always feel like I’m in a safe space with them. I talked/cried about Drew and didn’t feel judged or that they were uncomfortable by my crying. I guess I didn’t realize how badly I needed to talk about it.

Anyway, enough blathering! It was just really the perfect end cap for a fantastic weekend and I am super full of gratitude. (I know, WHO AM I.)

Today on a spontaneous visit to Detroit’s River Walk, we stumbled upon a pro-Canada, anti-Trump rally and I said, “WE ARE JOINING!” Sadly, it was already on the tail end but we did get to spend about 15 minutes standing in solidarity listening to speakers and showing support for the Canadians directly across the river. I really hope the outcome of their upcoming election is a positive one!

A woman was passing out small Canadian flags and if there is one thing I learned from standing in line at kpop concerts, it’s that if you want a freebie, ya gotta go and get that freebie. She was so sweet and even asked to take a picture of my panda necklace for her daughter who is an artist. It was such a pure interaction. Henry didn’t stick around for it.

Of course I got really upset which is basically just my current mood these days anyway so who cares. Also, extreme anger that wracks my body. But this still felt energizing in a way. Solidarity in numbers. Being a part of the right (but not RIGHT) side of history.

I wish I had it in me to pick up a speakerphone and intelligently articulate my thoughts to a crowd but…I’m all swears and feet-stamping when it comes to Frump and fElon.

I bought these pins there too and am especially excited about the Jasmine Fan Club one!

But yeah, just in case anyone didn’t already know where I stand.

I’M WRITING THIS ON CHOOCH’S 19TH BIRTHDAY, BTW!!! It feels so strange not getting to celebrate with him in person, and knowing him, none of his Drexel friends even know it’s his birthday. My work group chat wants to pool monies and hire a skywriter to fly over Drexel, lol. “HBD CHOOCH A/K/A RILEY, MOMMY LOVES YOU.”

I did buy him tickets to the Men I Trust concert this September, which as you know, I will always associate with the maybe-dead-body we saw upon leaving the Mattress Factory. :/

Anyway, in lieu of having real time birthday stuff to share on here, here’s some pictures from the second half our day in Philly last Saturday.

I have wanted to check out Laurel Hill Cemetery since years before Chooch started going to college in Philly and it finally happened last weekend! Lucky for Chooch, HENRY left the DSLR at home so the Easter photoshoot I had in my hopes and dreams was dashed – however, Chooch was also sick with a cold so I likely would have let him off the hook anyway. Instead, we just took some casual photos which was still annoying to Chooch.

But come on, dude. Moms need pics of their kids, no matter the age!

I loved this classic hearse! I had to send pictures to my dad who has always been a classic car aficionado. He responded right away with his guess of year – “Neat – looks about a 1948” he replied.

Dude, this donut bag pops up in every picture, I swear. It was even sitting on a wall later on when Chooch was taking pictures of me and Henry “running,” and I had to crop it out. (THAT WAS YESTERDAY’S POST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.)

If this was Korea, we would have had to wait in line to get these pictures. Trees are famous in Korea! And the ones here in Laurel Hill were poppin’ off this spring. The juxtaposition of decrepit tombstones and bright florals was so my vibe.

FYI – Chooch got that shirt last fall when he won dodgeball or something.

Honestly, I didn’t even know he was sick until halfway during our cemetery walk when was like, “Leave me alone, I’m sick” and I was like, “Wait, you are?” and he was like, “Hello, have you not seen me coughing this entire time??”

All the moms are momming.

Then there’s me.

Me taking dumb selfies and apparently ignoring the symphony of sickn emanating from my child.

Mwah. Chef’s kiss. This place probably looks impeccably macabre on a rainy day, too.

Maybe this is where we’ll take Chooch’s college graduation portraits?!

I love a cem with layers.

Like a cake.

But old and rotted.

I am really so deep in my feelings over this birthday. 19!! This whole past year has made me question life and time every single time. Who am I? What is my purpose now? Just lots of panic and sadness. And confusion.

You can take tours here but we didn’t have enough time. I do know that the Rittenhouse guy is buried here (there is a Rittenhouse building thing in Philly so that’s my only knowledge of him) and the broad who petitioned the government to recognize Thanksgiving as a federal holiday.

I learned this by watching “Philly cemetery” vids on YouTube, which is also how I found a news clip of a recent incident at a local Philly cem where the pallbearers FELL INTO THE BURIAL HOLE and there was a video of it happening which, OK THIS IS NOT TRULY FUNNY, but that sick and dark part of me started cracking up and I sent it to Corey and said, “I AM PICTURING JANNA FALLING INTO AN OPEN GRAVE NOW AND US MAKING HER DO IT OVER SO WE CAN RECORD IT” and he was like, “OMG YES!”

Quick, someone ask Janna to be a pallbearer!!

Chooch in the middle of criticizing / judging / mocking me. Normalcy!

And me in the process of making sure he’s being in an active participant in our MOMMY / SON photo sesh.

Donut bags.

None of us have seen this movie, but maybe you have so this could be interesting to you.

(Who are you?)

This is in the “Millionaires” section.

I Wiki’d this guy for you:

An English American industrialist who founded the Keystone Saw Works in 1840 and developed the surrounding Tacony neighborhood of Philadelphia to build housing for his workers. His company became the Disston Saw Works and was the top manufacturer of hand saws in the United States during the late 19th-century and early 20th century.

Boring.

SERIOUSLY, GO OFF QUEEN!!!

I feel bad that these are in the worst part, butted up against a chainlink fence along a busy road, but here’s some Rocky stuff for you. Chooch mumbled, “I guess I’ll take a picture too, ugh.” LOL.

After this, Chooch got to drive for the first time in Philly. He asked “an undisclosed friend” for some cafe recs and we ended up at Greek from Greece around the corner from his dorm. I got a butterfly pea latte and it was very refreshing! If we hadn’t had donuts, I’d have definitely gotten something from the dessert display there. They had orange pie! Next time. Next time.

I didn’t think so, but thank you, Mirror.

And that concludes another visit with Chooch!

WHO BTW JUST SENT ME THESE PICTURES AFTER I BEGGED HIM TO MAKE PICTURES OF JANNA FALLING INTO A GRAVE!!!!!

She looks so happy! “Wheeee!” Also, the way her torso and legs are facing opposite directions is sending me!

We went to the Laurel Hill Cemetery after lunch last Saturday (I have a shit ton of photos to share separately – that place was POPPIN’ OFF with springtime blossoms!). Chooch took a picture of Henry and me walking/running down this little path and then as per his tradition, he left an ultra-zoomed in picture of Henry’s face in my camera roll. I was watching the live version of the photos and it was cracking me up how it ended with a creepy close-up of Henry’s lascivious smile, so I spent the first hour of our drive home that evening turning it into an Instagram reel that flopped but was so fucking funny to me that I was in tears over it, literally chortle-choking in the passenger seat while Henry, eyes on the road, kept muttering, “I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.”

I’m fairly certain my friend Alyson was the only one who saw the hilarity in this – for instance, Chooch commented and said, “What is this” as if he wasn’t the one who took  the pictures?? Constantly trolling me, even when in college. Ugh.

Anyway, I don’t know what made me choose this STAYC song but I love how the ASAP part perfectly aligns with Henry’s close-up, ugh I’m dying all over again and will now forever associate STAYC with this, sorry STAYC!

Philly is not exactly considered a “day trip” for most Pittsburghers, as it takes a good 4.5 – 5 hours by car. Yet somehow, we have done this approx. 5 times in the last 6 months. It is effing exhausting but worth it to get a few hours of quality time with Chooch. (If you ask him, he will likely drop the ‘quality’ and just call it ‘time’ haha, annoying parents.) Ideally, we would have liked to have spent the whole weekend there, but we are going away to Detroit this weekend and:

• $$$
• hate leaving Penelope overnight for two weekends in a row

So, a quick Saturday trip it was! The drive there was relatively uneventful. Sheetz stop for breakfast where I flipped out and cried, “EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND THERE ARE MEN IN MY WAY! MEN ARE EVERYWHERE I NEED TO BE!” and Henry was about to say “calm down,” I could tell. But he thought better of it and instead said, “What do you need, I’ll get it for you” – NICE TRY! This just made me even more angry and I shouted, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!”

In case you were wondering, I needed coffee in a bigly way but there were MEN at the coffee area, stinking it up with waves of toxic masculinity, and then every time I turned a corner – MORE FUCKING MEN.

I really wanted to rip my skin off. Or theirs.

OK, theirs. LOL.

Then Waze was like, “Hi, here is a new way for you to try, apropos of nothing” and it ended up taking us through some park with lots of lollygagging drivers, but we finally arrived at Chooch’s dorm around 1:00!

I was so excited because ever since the first time we went to Drexel for a visit last April, I have been obsessed with this cute breakfast/lunch spot called SABRINA’S. I guess there are numerous locations around town but the one on Drexel’s campus is by far the most aesthetic because of the sweet ass Victorian house in which the millennial brunch classics are whipped up.

We had about a 20 minute wait so Chooch took us around the corner to some campus market thing that he goes to a lot, just a convenience store thing where he can use his Dragon dollars (OMG this just gave me a flashback to when I went to Pitt as a non-trad student and begged my mom to add cash to my Panther card so I could use it in the vending machines and she was like, “ha ha” but I was serious). Anyway, the older woman cashier was all, “HEY BABY!” to Chooch and then she chuckled and said, “I KNOW I’LL SEE YOU LATER” because he evidently is a REGULAR there and also, I am aware that the way I wrote this makes it sound like she is predatory but she was sincerely just a very jovial woman.

I loved how everywhere we went around campus, people knew Chooch. He’s branching out, you guys. I love that for him!

Then we were sitting outside of Sabrina’s waiting for our table and a group of old ladies walked past, but one stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed, “OH I LOVE YOUR SHOES!” but it was DIRECTED AT CHOOCH, NOT ME. Chooch gets all the attention in Philly!!! I am just the shadow in the background there. It’s fine, I’m OK with that.

(Am I though? Currently plotting my outfit/accessories for our next visit. Must upstage him.)

THAT LOOK OF DISDAIN, DO YOU THINK HE MISSED ME?

I loved everything about Sabrina’s. It’s small and our table right in the flight path of the servers, but it still somehow felt cozy and delightful. Every staff member we interacted with was beyond friendly. And the menu is so veg/vegan friendly! I had the hardest time choosing what I wanted. I thought for sure it was going to be the banh mi because I had studied the menu online prior to our visit and even sent Chooch a screenshot of it.

“That looks good,” he replied, and I was shocked because it was one of those rare moments where he was acting like an adult and not a kid who is perpetually annoyed and embarrassed of his parent.

But then we got there and the actual menu seemed larger than the one online, so my options began to expand until I finally settled on the OG Vegan bowl with tofu, boy-o.

Henry got the Korean bowl (it came with chicken and didn’t have sub options like some of the other menu items so I didn’t want to be difficult by asking) and POLENTA FRIES, and Chooch got some kind of omelet. We were all content.

After lunch, we drove to Dottie’s Donuts – we went to a different location YEARS ago and I’m happy that they’re still around. I know none of us our vegan but when the options are there, I will take it so I always like to look for vegan spots when we’re on road trips. While we were at lunch, Dottie’s most recent post came up in my IG feed and it was a table-thumping moment for me.

“The special donut this weekend at Dottie’s is BAKLAVA.”

“I guess we’re going to Dottie’s,” Henry sighed as though he wasn’t secretly getting hot for donuts.

Dude, this fucker was bussin’. I was sad that once again I made poor choices and said I would share this with Henry. What an unbelievable life fail. We took our bounty to the Laurel Hill Cemetery (separate post to come!) and Henry is so lucky that I was feeling a modicum of love for him at the time because he immediately walked over to the office to use the bathroom, leaving me alone with this bad boy which I could have easily inhaled in three bites, but I somehow managed to stop myself at the halfway mark.

(This is also mostly because I have been feeling super down on myself re: old lady weight gain this past year, and actually much less to do with any spousal love haha.)

Anyway, we also got a Thai tea donut to share, and Chooch got two of his own – also a Thai tea and a vanilla frosted I think. Excellent, chewy donuts in a beautiful setting in perfect spring weather with my favorite people back together again.  I couldn’t have been happier.

You guys will never believe this but while we were on the way to the brewery last Saturday, we drove past the Butler Institute of American Art and I caught a sign that said FREE ADMISSION. So, while we were at lunch, I suggested that we stop there before driving home since we had been drinking, so that we could sober up, etc.

(This makes it sound like we were blitzed but we really weren’t. It’s just that it was over an hour drive home and who wants to be in the car that long after eating and drinking?)

Meanwhile, Mrs. It’s Not That We Were Drunk said, “Take a picture of me with this bitch” and then as I was backing up to get closer, I didn’t notice that there was a small step, so I tripped BACKWARD and landed right on my butt in front of “this bitch.”

The perfect display of “I meant to that do.”

Henry hardly EVER laughs at anything I do or say but this got a BIG BELLY LAUGH from the old man.

I used to smoke those 

Dude don’t worry. We truly weren’t THOSE PEOPLE inside the museum. I promise. We were quiet, normal, and respectful. Henry even asked one of the docents a question. OK, it was just “Where is the restroom?” but then later he asked another one a real question about whether or not the paintings in the section we were in had been restored at all. The docent was like, “Well….some of them have, yeah. Like this one for example—-” and then pointed to the one we were standing near and we were like, “OK cool good to know” but then he continued standing there, staring at it dreamily long after we turned a corner. It was kind of creepy but also made me think to myself: “Aw.”

Anyway, it was crazy actually looking at art with Henry???!!! We never do stuff like this together! He hates the Mattress Factory, for example, although that is a totally different beast, to be fair.

They should put this outside in front of that bitch.

OMG obviously I loved this wing of the museum the most.

Figuring out how to install this in our living room.

Speaking of Mattress Factory, though, Yayoi Kusama has a permanent exhibit there (the infamous mannequin room!).

There were hardly any other art-peepers there that afternoon, so we really enjoyed the quiet and time we got to spend in each wing.

There’s one of these in the Mattress Factory too and I do not get it.

I loved this part of the museum because we had to walk across a pedestrian bridge to A CHURCH. I guess the actual church part is still used for you know, church things, but there were more exhibits upstairs. This room was a loft that overlooked the church below and I was obsessed!

Yes!!

I was so excited to see this! I have something similar-ish from my Pappap’s house!!!

We were in a race against the clock toward the end there though as an announcement came on warning patrons that the joint was closing in 30 minutes.

“We can come back again, you know,” Henry huffed as I raced past him to see what was in a basement corridor (CLOWN SHIT!!! I ALMOST MISSED IT!). But in the end, we managed to make it through every part of the place and you know what? It was so much fun and Henry actually agreed. AND IT COST NOTHING! What a great way to spend an afternoon. We didn’t even argue!!?

Afterward, we stopped at nearby Pressed Coffee Bar for some after-art caffeine and sugar.

I got a strawberry white chocolate latte and it was alright. The sugar cookie we split was VERY HARD but still good. It was a sugar, after all, and sometimes any sugar is better than no sugar.

We rounded off our random Saturday Day Date with a stroll through some Youngstown cemetery that made me feel uncomfortable but it was fine.

It’s been decided that we will now try to do something like once a month or so. We’ll see how long that lasts, lol.

Every time I think I’m doing ok, the universe is quick to slap me with the reminder that NOPE. Still depressed. Still panicked. Still stressed. Still middle life crisis’ing.

This is our first holiday without Chooch at home. We did spend the day with him in Philly yesterday so it wasn’t all bad but I woke up today and just felt weird. Weird to not have a kid at home. Weird to not be doing anything for Easter. Weird to even just be HOME because in the past, this was typically spring break and we’d go away on a family trip so to even just be home on Easter with or without Chooch is disorienting. I definitely cried a few times today.

Not to mention, last year we were in Korea on Easter. </3 I know it’s ridiculous to think like this but I can’t help feeling as though my life has peaked and it’s all downhill from here.

/enter panic

Well, I guess there were some highlights from today (and it’s only late afternoon so maybe Henry will suddenly surprise me with an Easter basket, LOL YEAH RIGHT):

We got vegan donuts and a chicken sandwich (Henry) and fish sandwich (me) from Viridis which I would have to say is the best bet lately for vegan sandwiches in Pgh, and their donuts are excellent. We split the Taki Blue Heat and Chikn and Waffles:

Ugh, they were both delightful. The Takis one was weird in a good way, and I have to say, I love how chewy the actual donuts are.

And ugh, I am a SUCKER for vegan fish sandwiches. Viridis’ version is made with oyster mushrooms rather than tofu and along with the fried batter, it’s so good that I have to force myself to set it back down on the plate between bites so that I don’t eat it too quickly and make myself sick. Hopefully one day they will have a sit-down restaurant, but for now, we’re fine with take-out (well, what do I care – Henry is the one who has to drive downtown and pick it up hahaha).

Another highlight from today is that we have squirrel babies now that are out of the nest and out & about in the backyard. One of them took a peanut from me today <3 Additionally, we learned that female squirrels will often build their nest in places where they previously nested, as in, where they were born. And this mom squirrel made her nest next door in HNC’s porch roof where is where OG GIRL BUDDY (RIP) made her nests, so we THINK this could be Girl Buddy’s daughter, and these are her grandbabies. And now I’m crying again, lol. Before the babies came out of the porch roof nest, they would poke their little heads out and watch their mom sit on my porch and eat walnuts so I would hope they recognize me as their ally!

A lowlight from today was after lunch, Henry said he would play tennis with me. We drove all the way to my “home court” which is about minutes away, got there and I was happy before only 2 of the 4 courts were being used and both of the back courts were open (my faves) BUT THEN REALIZED HENY BROUGHT MY OLD RACKET INSTEAD OF MY GOOD ONE?!?! He was like, “Oh. Can’t you just use the old one?”

NO! AND HERE’S WHY: That racket was a basic starter racket from Dick’s that cost about $20, and I only bought it when I wasn’t sure if playing tennis again was in my cards, but then it turned out my obsession was reignited and I promptly bought a really good racket for $$$ and babe, there is no going back from that. Henry suggested that we “just go back home” and get it but you have no idea how much I cannot the stand the drive to these courts. So I snarled, “NO, ONCE WE GET BACK HOME, I’M STAYING THERE, THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE.” And then we came back home and he still tried to get my good racket so we could go back and I was like, “I SAID NO!” and then I grabbed my headphones and went for a walk around the neighborhood alone.

What a great day.

Just a friendly reminder that I was eating salt bread & drinking coffee in a cafe that was visited by Mino from Winner last Easter, UGH:

Bye.

Seeing Cold last week has set me adrift on a path of nostalgia. Granted, that path is laden with cigarette butts, scraps of stepped-on and worn-off denim from the bottoms of too-long jeans, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottle caps. So, tread carefully, etc.

This particular show marked the first time in 15 years that I had seen them. They were here a few times since then but it was a combination of having moved away from this scene and also not wanting to willingly put myself in an emotionally vulnerable spot, because there is something about this band that breaks me slowly. Scooter Ward is just….ugh. His voice and lyrics were the soundtrack to some of the most volatile years of my life (hey, early 20s, I see you).

But when I saw that they would be performing 13 Ways To Bleed on Stage in its entirety (as well as A Different Kind of Pain), I was like, “OK, let’s go. I can do this.” And then the day of,  that changed to “I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” LOL. Obviously, I did it. Albeit with a face slick with tears.

Instead of saying the same stuff I always say (“Ow, my heart” “Ooof” “This song, ugh”), I thought I would instead share some pictures I found in an old album from the time I saw them at Nick’s Fat City, 9/5/11. Less than a week before 9/11, so hard to even imagine that now.

My friend Wonka – he was my best concert buddy and co-Cold groupie back then – arrived at Nick’s Fat City super early. This was back when we were young and had the stamina required for arriving hours before doors in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the band. That’s Wonka in the middle, the rest were guys we befriended. I remember clearly going across the street at one point to get beverages at a store and freaking out over a…energy drink? called BALLZ. I’m pretty sure we all bought one.

The guy on the far right was on the street team for one of the opening bands, I believe. And the kid on the left, I’m pretty sure his name is Josh, ended up staying in touch with Wonka and me for a hot minute and I even gave him my ticket for Jane’s Addiction shortly after this because I ended up not being to go, so Wonka took him in place, lol. It’s so weird how this is a memory that my brain decided to keep.

Here I am flanked by Kelly and Scooter from Cold! This picture is so bad and I am thankful that whoever took it, took it with the sun behind us because I was such a hot mess back then. Thankful that you can barely see my face here.

Jeremy!

I TOTALLY forgot that my brother Ryan was also there with his friends! That’s Ryan standing down there in the green sweatshirt next to our new friend Josh. Ryan actually commented on this Instagram reel I posted after last week’s show saying that he contemplated on going!

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Ugh, Scooter. I believe this was the second time I saw them after first stumbling upon their stage at X-Fest earlier that summer. Wonka was with me there too and we were both ENRAPTURED. Like, WHO IS THIS? Stopped us dead in our tracks. Actually, now as I’m writing this I’m not sure if that is accurate – it could have been we already knew the song “Just Got Wicked” and intentionally checked them out based on that? I’m sure I have the hard facts written down in a journal somewhere for some Future Person to discover years after I expire.

Anyway, there are actually so many more pictures from other Cold shows that I found too, like I was their traveling historian or something, Jesus.

I know I said I wasn’t to recap this most show BUT there are some things I want to remember:

• Scooter is the only OG member which makes me sad
• BUT they have an amazing bassist – Lindsay Manfredi. I guess she joined four years after the last time I saw them, so she’s been with them now for about 10 years. Just “new-to-me”! I loved that she came out in this adorable back dress with a white peter pan collar for the first set, and then when they came back out to dive into the 13 Ways…set, she was wearing a black mechanic’s pantsuit with the Cold spider patches on the arms. She was so cool!
• AND their drummer used to be in this band called Lifer who COINCIDENTALLY was touring with them when we went to that 9/2001 show (Wonka and I also went to the Hershey, PA stop on that tour).l I had become obsessed with Lifer but then they broke up after one/some of them left to start BREAKING BENJAMIN. LOL remember that band??
• There was some middle aged broad and her husband standing in front of me and they were HAMMERED before the show even started. I am so sorry that I missed this, but when I was in the bathroom, Henry said she had gone up to the bar to get another drink (she was knocking back mixed drinks) and on her way back, she somehow FELL INTO THE VIP BOOTH?! Henry said she knocked everything off the table (luckily  nothing got on the people sitting there), landed UNDER THE TABLE, stood up and said OH SHIT and then shambled back to the bar to get a new drink. Then a few minutes after that, she was back in front of me telling some other middle aged lady who reminded me of my squirrel hating neighbor that she had just gotten out of the hospital that Friday afternoon. Drink up, baby. Cheers.
• Cold had the misfortune of touring with Weezer one year. It was just…bad. The Weezer fans were really shitty to  them and I want to say that they ended up dropping off the tour. But in  the meantime, they had befriended Rivers Cuomo and did a song with them called Stupid Girl and it remains my least favorite Cold song to this day. Anyway, it’s off the third album which was not being performed that night, yet some dodo in the front row kept screaming it like it was fucking Freebird. Scooter, who paused in between certain songs to tell stories about the song’s origins, kept having to pause to say, “No, we’re not going to play Stupid Girl, stop asking.” Then at one point, after maybe the 7th time, he stopped and was like, “Look, we’re not playing that fucking song OK?” and we were all cracking up. Scooter goes, “I gotta shut this shit down, this is starting to feel like a fucking folk show.” It felt so good to have that comic relief during a night of so many heavy songs though!
• The crying gave me a headache, but it was a perfect night.

A big reason why I wasn’t too torn up over that Easter Lane thing being lame is that we had planned a little mini daytrip around it by scoping out some places in nearby Youngstown, Ohio for lunch. We settled on this brewery called Noble Creature because “Viking” was thrown around in descriptions of the vibe and that seemed like something for me. I was really HUNGY (r removed purposely, OK, I learned this from Chooch) by the time we got there but luckily not to HANGRY proportions yet.

I really liked the atmosphere of this joint, even from just the outside!

BIG YES to that welcome disclaimer.

Right off the bat, I felt good here. The bartender was super down to earth and helpful. I’m not trying to act like someone who is knowledgeable about beer and have no qualms being an open n00b about it, and he was patient and happy to answer my questions. (“IS ANYTHING HERE COMPARABLE TO A BELGIAN?” is usually my only inquiry, lol. Sadly, not really but he did steer me toward an ESB called Basement Darts and complimented me on my OLD WORLD tastes hahahaha.

I had no idea what an ESB was (Extra Special Bitter allegedly??) and it was OK. English. I was able to finish my little glass of it but would probably never get it again.

Henry got two tasters of the only IPAs they had and I was pissed because I don’t like ordering the same thing as him, so to finish my flight, I chose a sour called Jelly because I used to like sours way back when I didn’t like beer and I haven’t really been drinking those anymore. I also got a Flemish Red which I thought was going to be like an Irish Red. Nope, not even close. Hated this one so much. So sour, like way sour-er than the actual sour. I never want to even think about this one again.

Lastly, I got my first Gose after mths of asking Henry, “What is a Gose? Do you think I’d like it?” Turns out, nope, no I do not like Gose. Not even when it has a cool name like Mother Shover.

Full disclosure, I have to admit that the only reason I wanted to like it is because Seventeen, one of my favorite Kpop groups AS YOU MIGHT KNOW, have a show called Going Seventeen but it’s shortened to GoSe so I associate that beer with it. Bummed that is not for me.

(Reading about Mother Shover on Untapped now – because why would I do this before ordering – and apparently it has table salt in it too??)

Henry’s IPAs were both really good :(

Basement Darts. Since it was English, it made me think of the band Basement. I used to really like that band!

A really good mushroom and black bean burger! With asparagus! That burger was really good. The portions were on the small side so I was still hungry when we left but it was for the best because usually I get so full that I become sick when I eat out these days.

So-so sour. No, it was fine. I could never drink a full pour of this but let’s be real, there aren’t many beers I could drink a full pour of!

Mother Shover.

Before leaving, we decided to split one of the seltzers, called CASUAL CORSAGE. We were eyeing it up because it was billed as “a purple seltzer with juniper, lemon, elderberry, butterfly pea flower, and honey simple syrup.

ALL THINGS I LOVE.

And before you ask, yes, even butterfly pea flower – I love it when cafes have butterfly pea matcha.

Oh, damn, did I strike out across the board here! It just tasted like sour nothingness! I thought it would be crisp and sparkling?? Semi-sweet?! It was not any of these things. I truly can’t describe it but it did not inspire me to go wading barefoot in a bubbling brook, which is what ALL OF THOSE INGREDIENTS FEEL LIKE THEY WERE MADE TO ACCOMPANY?!

It was a struggle for us to finish this, especially since Henry had to chug the last dregs of my FLEMISH RED, brotha ew is all I can say to that one. It felt like a sinister, ancient and sacred religious ceremony in a candle lit cellar playing out on my tongue. Just…old and scary and like some possessed monk’s liquified sour breath rolling around in my mouth, daring me to swallow it while my gag reflexes where in overdrive.

I know, it sounds like this was a terrible time but I really enjoyed our visit! I chalked it up to a learning experience because I still am figuring out what I like and don’t like, but also it was just really nice to be in a different “city” on a day-date thing while texting Chooch annoying pictures of ourselves.

DON’T WORRY THOUGH BECAUSE OUR DATE DIDN’T END THERE.

March was a bit better in terms of refreshing books that made me feel stoked to wake up the next day and dive back in. I love that feeling!

1. I Might Be in Trouble by Daniel Aleman

This was pretty funny – a struggling writer gets himself in a pickle and with the help of his hilariously sassy agent, this turns into some bizarre Weekend at Bernie’s type of scramble. I had fun reading this one and would be interested in reading more from this guy!

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I did not enjoy another book I had recently read by this author but several of my friends had raved about her newest one; I succumbed to peer pressure as one does. And thank god because this was FANTASTIC. I went into it knowing NOTHING about the synopsis and I think that is best so I will let you click the Goodreads link up there if you really want to know. But the reason I gave this a 4.5 is simple: THE CHARACTERS POPPED OFF THE PAGE. I wanted so badly to be there with them. Quirky, heartwarming without being corny, a REALISTIC ENDING. I loved every page of this book and I think it will be sticking with me for quite some time. Definitely recommend!

3. Famous Last Words by Gillian McAllister

I gave this thriller a 3 but only because her other books were better, IMO. The author describes it as “a love story set in a hostage situation.” OK, sure. It was definitely a unique plot but I couldn’t connect. Basically, this broad wakes up and her husband is gone and then she finds out he has a bunch of people held hostage in a warehouse and then escapes the police. I did enjoy it, you just really have to suspend disbelief.

4. The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams

Corny. Next.

5. Butter by Asako Yuzuki

Usually, Japanese novels about murder really do it for me, but this one made me feel like I was reading something for a Feminism elective in community college. I could barely get through it, even after switching to audio. The blurb is “The cult Japanese bestseller about a female gourmet cook and serial killer and the journalist intent on cracking her case, inspired by a true story.” Sounds intriguing!! Sadly, not for me, fam.

6. Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley

If you love music like I love music, especially in the snobby sense, then you will love this. I lowkey didn’t like the protagonist, Percy, but it somehow didn’t deter from the actual reading experience for me.

7. Guillotine by Delilah S. Dawson

I needed an audiobook for my daily walks and this one caught my eye on Hoopla. It was fast-paced and a fun read. The Goodreads blurb says “The Menu meets Ready of Not” and I fully endorse this summary.

8. The English Teacher by Lily King

My third (?) Lily King novel. I REALLY like her writing. Her characters always feel like real people to me, too, going through actual hardships. The protagonist here is not very likable on purpose but you understand why she is the way she is because King has written her character so exquisitely. I really can’t say enough good things about Lily King.

9. The Favorites by Layne Fargo

The fact that I couldn’t even remember what this was right away….lol. I thought it was fine, it kept my attention even though I’m not necessarily a figure skate aficionado. It did kind of feel like a dollar store version of a Taylor Jenkins Reid book though in that it’s written in both story-form and through interviews / news reports. I would say pick up Carrie Soto Is Back by Reid instead if you’re into dramatic female-fronted sports comeback stories. This one kind of fell flat for me – for a while there I was certain that there was some underlying murder that was going to rear its head and flip the narrative but nope. It didn’t really feel like there was much of a pay-off here.

10. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

Hashtag relatable. This wasn’t an entertaining book by any means, it was very clinical and dry, but holy shit I felt like it was written about me. Also, same bestie – tteokbokki gives me the will to keep on keepin’ on, too.

11. Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney

Two fuckin’ stars. Alice Feeney, you failed me again. I swear, she gave me one solid 5-star with Daisy Darker and everything else has been swill in a barrel.

This was so stupid, unreal, preposterous, no tension. The best part was the dog!!!

12. The Haar by David Sodergren

Yes. YES! A solid, sick, gory, horror story but also one that was full of love and life. Sentimental horror. I had this on audio and was almost done with it when we took Chooch back to Philly after spring break and I just couldn’t wait any longer so I asked Henry if he minded if I put it on in the car (I didn’t have my headphones) – lol like it really mattered to me if he minded or not. Anyway, he was like, “WHAT is this??” after quietly listening about a sea blob thing devouring shitty men in very explicit detail. But this just felt like a love story to me more than anything and I was so there for it.

13. This Book Will Bury Me by Ashley Winstead

Winstead’s debut novel was such a solid 5 for me and then everything after was shit (IMO, anyway). But this one finally brought me back on board. College student becomes obsessed with a true crime message board after the death (natural causes, not murder) of her father. I gave this 4 stars for the entertainment value – it was a page-turner – but it still had a lot of faults like being obviously based on the recent U.of Idaho murders. I did enjoy the found family aspect, but unless I’m missing something, I didn’t really care much for the parts that circled back to her dead dad.

Actually, now that I’m revisiting this from a distance, I’m realizing that there were many flaws but this was STILL better than her other post-In My Dreams I Hold a Knife novels. I think I would still recommend it. I’m tired, lol.

And that’s it for March! I’m so great at talking about books! Invite me to your book club! :/

Last Tuesday evening, Henry and I went to Crafthouse to see one of my old favorite bands, Cold. I was wavering on buying tickets for this because I knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster – it had been FIFTEEN YEARS almost exactly since I last saw them. Two mths before I started working at The Law Firm, actually! Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there were pre-Law Firm times in my life.

I finally sucked it up though and bought us tickets and I am so glad that I did. Yeah, it’s a drag to do these things on work nights at this age, but really it was so worth it.

I had to laugh though because as we were standing outside waiting for the doors to open, the people behind us were talking about health insurance. “The conversations happening in line now are wayyyyy different from when we used to go to see Cold back in the day,” I laughed and Henry did too but I don’t know why because he was old back then too??

Once we got inside and settled into a table, I started giggling which always makes Henry scared.

“I just realized that I didn’t change out of my NCT shoes,” I cracked up, raising my legs up and wiggling my feet. Henry groaned.

“AND I HAVE MY G-DRAGON LIGHTSTICK ON MY PURSE!” I pointed out. “And my Seventeen credit card!”

I had to get a picture of the full trifecta and Henry mumbled, “You’re so dumb.”

I am really leaning into the Empty Nester Lifestyle. I mean, not that this isn’t something we would have done with Chooch still in the house, because obviously we were still going to concerts back then too but it just feels…different somehow? Like, fresh? Like almost as though we ARE DATING? I dunno man, it’s weird.

Also, it felt kind of wild being around this certain demographic again. Cold is hard rock (actually they were even considered nu-metal adjacent there for a time) and I haven’t been in this scene in A LONG FUCKING TIME. I mean, this was my pre-Chooch life, really. This predated the Warped Tour and screamo and post-hardcore season of my life.

I have to say, on one hand I felt very comfortable and confident in this environment, it felt natural and familiar, I felt like my old out-going self. And it’s probably the only type of man that still CHECKS ME OUT, lol. I came back from the background and bragged to Henry about that. He just frowned.

But on the other hand, looking around at the majority of these people – especially the women – I am very thankful that I got out of this scene. I was always getting drunk back then off gross things like Smirnoff Ice and chain-smoking Camel Wides. I can only imagine how gross my voice would be today, how old I would look, how FUCKED my health would be in general. Hard Rock Erin was not it.

Literally, though, this one “rode hard & put away wet” woman came falling into the bathroom and Skeletor’d, “DO YINZ KNOW IF I CAN VAPE IN HERE??” Calm down, sis. Also, NO????

I took this to send to Chooch. He lowkey hates that his parents go out together I think, lol.

That guy’s face, though lol.

I just want to say that this was only our second time at Crafthouse and both times we had wonderful servers. I enjoyed my food a lot more this time – I went with the margherita flatbread and it was just right. Also, I Like Beer Now^TM and their selection is pretty good. Henry and I both had two different IPAs and both were good. Specifically, I had an Aslin Clear Nights and an Appalachian Brewing Co. Hop Offering. I don’t remember what Henry had because he refuses to update Untapped.

Good music aside, I just want to say that I really enjoyed this night so much. It was a tough decision to come out, but I’m glad I did and that Dumb Henry was with me. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES when it felt like we were seeing Cold several times a year for a while there. But be prepared for the show recap because it’s going to be so stupid-emo.

Hi while I’m sitting here before bed in a “refreshing red bean pore mask” from Beauty of Joseon, I figured I’d post some pics of Henry and me at Homewood Cem from after lunch. It was such a beautiful day.

Also, I found this sweater in my closet a few weeks ago and was glad it was just chilly enough to get away with wearing it today. Honestly though my closet needs a professional to come in and shape it up.

The other parts of today were just super chill and nice. Read some of my book, watched an episode of Home Economics which started to auto-play after I watched the most recent ep of Abbott Elementary. I had no idea that this was on for three seasons I guess?! Literally never heard of it until Hulu was like “no don’t go.” Two eps in and I don’t know if I like it.

Also, this Canadian/Korean couple I love on YouTube posted a new video where the wife’s brother visited them in Korea for the first time she’s been living there (12 or 14 years I think?!) and I literally started crying really hard like I have any personal connection to this AT ALL and then that feeling carried over during our walk in the Cem so I cried there too and then also cried about Bambi so I’m doing well, lol. No seriously I think I am ok just, when it hits it hits, you know.

After dinner we walked to CVS to get Chooch some stuff for his Easter basket and on the way back, a super intoxicated man was shambling bigly on the other side of the street and I was just about to call 9/11 because he had stepped out really far into the street a few times and I already saw one maybe-dead person in the last 30 days, please let’s not add to it. But then he turned onto a side street that only has like 5 houses so I can only hope one was his.

(“U SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HIM AND MADE SURE HE GOT HOME SAFELY” someone is probably judging right now and ok fine I have no excuse other than I’m fucking tired of it.)

Then I made Henry do a Paul Eugene workout with me and we finished the night by watching YouTube videos of people going to NK for the first time in 5 years under the guise of running a marathon and that’s a nope for me. We all know where my allegiance lay.

On that note, I have a recap coming up soon about seeing my once-fave band for the first time in 15 years but my heart isn’t ready for that yet lol. Peace out, weekend warriors. :(

The other day in work group chat, one of my co-workers was telling my friend Wendi about something in her part of the world (she lives in a very small town a good hour or so outside of Pittsburgh) called KRAYNAK and said something about it being something that people in her area liked to do for Easter. For some reason, my brain went STRAIGHT to Krampus so I thought this must be the alternate Easter narrative of Volant, PA, the symbol being a rabid bunny or something? It just sounded ominous.

Now, the only reason she was directing to just Wendi is because Wendi has a baby and she was giving her suggestions of things to do, I guess. That chat topic died out quickly but I was over on Google frantically looking up KRAYNAK.

It’s….just a gardening center in Hermitage, PA.

BUT!! They do this thing called EASTER LANE where they have several Easter-themed displays set up and you can, you know, walk down the “lane” to gawk at it. The pictures of past Easter Lanes looked just tacky & accidentally creepy enough to pique my interest. So I texted Henry and said, “We’re going to Kraynak’s this weekend” and he was like “OK.”

Right away, I will say these two things:

• it was an hour and 18 minutes away by car, which was annoying;
• it was right on a busy road in the middle of Hermitage which kind of subtracted from the ambiance, you know? I was expecting it to be tucked away in some rural knoll, actually, I don’t know what I was expecting, but this just immediately felt too commercial.

I immediately turned around to take a picture of the sign and almost got hit by some eager KRAYNAK shopper trying to park in the spot I was standing next to. Sheesh.

People were looking at me, too, with the unspoken inquiry of “why is this lady taking pictures of the sign?” woven into their frowns. I wanted to cry out, “WE’RE FROM THE BIG CITY, OK?” God, stop looking at me.

This place was pretty packed. But, it’s huge. It’s like a weird, stinky amalgamation of some boring ass hobby shop, plant nursery, and….off brand toy store? OK that’s not fair, they did have some name brand stuff but it was just bizarre shit like toys you’d expect to find in the same shop that sells model train accessories.

And random aisles of not-great candy scattered all around. No rhyme or reason. It was just one section after the next of strange FUCK YEAH AMERIKKKA yard ornaments and mini-travel games for kids. And Cow Tails. And these things were at the ends of every aisle, it felt like:

We did grab some stuff for Chooch’s Easter basket because we’re going to visit him next weekend. Then we got in line to creep down the Easter Lane:

I mean…it wasn’t as Sid&Mary Kroft as I’d have liked, but it was cute.

I liked this one because there were squirrels. Those muppet kids tho….

And then the last several exhibits were patriotic and religious. Of-fucking-course. :/

At the very least, they could have had a ghost Jesus floating here?!

After this, we continued to browse for a bit but I gotta tell you, I started to feel more and more uncomfy here. We were 100% in Trump Territory and I started profiling dads as hunters and moms as homophobes and then someone waked past me and either farted or just generally stank of shit and I cried uncle. I lasted a good 30 minutes there though!

My takeaway:

• this was not worth the drive (luckily, I had planned for this and found some other things for us to afterward in that general area so all was not lost)
• maybe it would be better with a kid?
• waaaaaaay too many shrieking babies and I did at one point ‘accidentally’ say out loud that I wanted to punch one of them
• Easter Lane could be better
• the line for pictures with the Easter Bunny was extremely long and the queue serpentined a few times, but the Easter Bunny himself was mid if you ask me. I am very picky when it comes to photogenic Easter Bunnies

I MIGHT (MIGHT!!!) be convinced to go back in December to check out the CHRISTMAS LANE. Tbd.

Henry and I went to Freeport on Sunday afternoon just for something to do because it was kind of bleak and boring. There is a cafe there called 1883 or something, it’s a number and I don’t feel like looking it up because I’m so blasé about blogging these days. But we went there once last spring and I liked the vibe so I started following them on Instagram and their spring menu just came out. It looked pretty fire so I said let’s go and Henry said only of you’re driving lol j/k.

I got the almond rose torte latte I think and Henry got the chocolate chip cold brew and there was confusion amongst the young baristas because he ordered it with almond milk but it comes with cold foam and that is made with MILK. He was like I DON’T CARE and they seemed confused like he was being a fake ass vegan or something but he only orders almond milk because he likes the taste.

Now that you know Henry’s coffee milk preference…

I bought some local’s debut novel while waiting for our drinks, because there was a little stack on display and a Venmo QR code. His name is HAWK STEVENSON and he wrote and edited the book while chilling in the cafe and I thought that was kind of cool. I haven’t started reading it yet but I will be SURE to let you know, cyber crew.

After this, we strolled around Freeport and it was mid. There is not much to see or do there. Vivian’s Bakery or whatever the fuck had literally closed the second we walked out of the cafe, so that was off the table. I considering knocking on the door to see if they would sell us the remaining scraps of the day but Henry was like I DON’T THINK SO.

Sounds like the assurance of someone who has tried this before.

We walked to some gazebo and looked at the ugly river. That was boring. Then I wanted a sugar and pouted so Henry went back to the cafe to procure a sugar while I waited at the car because the vibe there was off today. He came out with two cookies and a banana nut muffin for us to share, and said that while he was waiting, a lady asked the young and personality-void baristas if espresso has caffeine in it and THEY SAID NO?

OK.

We drove to a nearby park called Harrison Hills or something and I can’t hear “Harrison” without thinking of Dexter’s son but that’s ok. So we go to this park and it’s still ugly and cold out but at least the park was kind of nice? There was some stupid overlook thing by a playground so we walked out onto it and I was like, “OK, so we can see across the ugly river, cool.”

Then we took the above picture to send to Chooch as a reminder that we exist, and he said “Wow.”

And you know what, that was pretty much it for Sunday.