Dec 102013
  • I have all of these moderately important things to do, but I just got the Christmas update for Simpsons Tapped Out and have basically done nothing but collect gift cards and presents from my neighbors and plant hedges strewn with Christmas lights for the last hour. Disgustingly, obsessively stoked for this!
  • Speaking of Christmas, my friends Gina and Elissa had a Christmas party at their house on Saturday and it took an unexpected turn into murder/mystery territory. It all started with a handmade record shelf…
    • And you know, the company and food were top notch, but the highlight for me was learning that there is a store called THE APPLE CASTLE. It sells all things apple!! Why didn’t anyone ever tell me this!? So thank you, Gina and Elissa, for hosting a party that potentially changed my fucking life, OMG.
  • One of my co-workers thought I went to see Steve Winwood on Friday night, because he was evidently playing a very poorly-promoted show at the other Carnegie Music Hall. It’s really not that far of stretch to think I’d have gone see him though conidering his was one of the first records I ever bought when I was in elementary school. I really liked “Back In the High Life Again,” OK? U MAD?!
  • Obsessed with Alex & Sierra.
  • Secret Santa starts tomorrow here at The Law Firm! I can’t wait until it’s over so that I can talk (and blog) freely about it because I hate hate hate keeping secrets. It’s been hard enough not showing every last motherfucker our Christmas card photo before I send the damn things out! Fuck, I need to chill.
  • So, Paul Walker died and all these people on Facebook were like, “STOP POSTING ABOUT PAUL WALKER OMG!!!” and it scared me because I had posted a picture of Paul Walker Glenn so I was like, “OH NOES am I being lumped in with this group? God forbid I should annoy people on the Internet!” So then Nelson Mandela died and I quietly made my Nelson Mandela Glenn and didn’t share it with anyone and then it was all, “NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE POSTING THINGS ABOUT NELSON MANDELA!” and I’m like “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?!?” Haven’t enough people posted photos of him with quotes plastered across it? What if I post one with a too-popular quote and then it’ll be all, “DAMN everyone be posting the same fucking Mandela quote SMH.” Can’t we just go back to the days when people went on Facebook to catch up with friends and family and bitch about Farmville invites? Now every last motherfucker is trying to make people feel like shit for what they are or aren’t posting and I’m like, “IT IS JUST FACEBOOK, YOU ASSHOLES.” Maybe utilize that handy “hide” feature sometimes. It works great. And I know that because I JUST USED IT ON YOU.
    • And yes, I understand that crying about it on my blog is just as bad. But I never claimed to be the mature one.
  • Earlier tonight, I made a cup of coffee and the Keurig was all, “PLEASE ADD WATER” and you know what I did? Well, I’ll tell you what I didn’t do! ADD WATER! BECAUSE I’M IN A BAD MOOD! FUCK YOU AND YOUR BOSSY ASS, KEURIG!!
  • Can someone please buy me all four of these for Christmas?


  • Laura and Mike are moving to Dallas next week! I’m super stoked for them and also jealous about all the good Texas foodstuffs they’re going to put in their mouths.
  • My house is still relatively clean from all the Thanksgiving cleaning Henry (and I!!!) did. And of course no one has randomly stopped by because that only happens when Henry leaves a week’s worth of socks on the floor and there are puddles of cat pee right inside the front door. And you can’t see the top of the coffee table or dining room table because Henry and Chooch are competing to see who can have the tallest pile of refuse. (IT’S NEVER MY STUFF, OK!?)
  • Found out that Sada & Whitney from The Real L Word are going to be on VH1’s Couples Therapy, fuck yes! I’m sure Henry is thrilled. I follow pretty much the whole cast of The Real L Word on Instagram and then say things to him like, “I’ve been looking at too many pretty lesbians on Instagram; let’s make out.”
  • I was just trying to explain something to a secretary on the phone and she literally said, “Oh OK” and hung up. WHILE I WAS STILL TALKING. I mean, I know I’m boring, but fuccccck. Now I know how Henry feels when we’re on the phone and I complely DGAF.
  • Thank god for acronyms.

  7 Responses to “Tuesday’s Tepid Tales”

  1. I just started playing Simpsons Tapped Out and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT. But whyyyy don’t I have the Christmas update? Wah!

  2. Erin! We were looking up sushi places down there and they pretty much had jalapeno in all the roll or something spicy. My taste buds are going to melt! You have to visit so we can try them.
    And Facebook is getting crazy. I’m starting to fell like it’s turning into tumblr with all the graphics posted now.

  3. Oh, Tapped Out Christmas! I don’t have that yet. I’ll have to get it updated because Christmas lights are my jam.

    I had to Google SMH. I really had no idea what that meant. I got it now, though, so thanks for helping me out there! haha

    • I had to google it too when I first started seeing it on twitter, except that the first thing I read said it meant “so much hate” but I guess the more popular definition is “shakes my head”? It will always be “so much hate” to me!

  4. That stupid fucking Christmas update has ruined my life. Not complaining though.

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