Nov 022022

…and not even a manic one, either.

Hello from 2 days post-Halloween. I was off that day as tradition goes, but this might have been one the least-Halloweenie Halloweens that ever Halloweened for me. It makes me sad that Chooch does not care at ALL about Halloween anymore so I have no one to dress up, and I certainly don’t dress up because I never get invited to any Halloween parties nor do I go to any Halloween event because stranger danger.

The most I did was wear my Cedar Point HalloWeekend shirt which I’m sorry, I thought it was PRETTY SICK OK.

I literally spent all day fussing over the squirrels.

포도 (grape) time!

At one point, my cat Drew and I were at the window watching two of our Buddies eating lunch. Drew looked at me and said, “Hey look–it’s 2 Buddies 2 Buddies 1 Porch” which was a HILARIOUS parody of NCT127’s latest hit, “2 Baddies” (1 Porsch) so of course I had to make a reel.

God, Drew. What a genius.

Trick or treating started at 5 and true to form for my stupid street, I got barely any customers and of the 5 I did get, well, all 5 of them had to be lured in off the street by my pathetic desperation. Literally, I kept Swan Lake’ing out of the front door, plastic pumpkin pails of candy in both hands, singing, “I have candy!!” And then I had to keep stopping myself from saying “trick or treat.”

No, Erin. THEY say that. THE KIDS say that.

BUT NONE OF THEM DID! Two of them were too young, one was maybe 9 or 10 and seemed nervous that I was begging them to take my candy, and then the last two were older teens, probably in high school, who acted like they were doing me a favor by going five steps out of their way to get candy.

You know who did come around for trick or treating action though? My furry woodland pals.

God fucking love them.

Where was Chooch during all of this, you ask? Oh, he was starting his new job at Dunkin’, four days early. Yeah, he went to work when he wasn’t even scheduled because he doesn’t pay attention but they let him stay even though no one was there to train him? Then the next day he was prepared TO GO BACK but somehow caught on that his actual first day is Thursday. What is his problem?? Why can’t he just pay attention??

Well, that was Halloween 2022. I didn’t even eat that much candy because I started Noom again last week and didn’t feel like logging it so I just avoided eating it. I guess that’s the whole point of logging food.

Wow I’m so boring. Goodbye.

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