This morning, I had my Howard Jones t-shirt in my hand, ready to shove an arm through a sleeve, when I decided to wear a tank top instead. Then, 25 minutes later, I was in CVS (YES, I WAS WEARING A MASK, I’M NOT A FUCKING NINNY) and as soon as I walked in, “No One Is To Blame” came on?! I rarely have wardrobe rejects as bad as the one I had this morning. Ugh.

I know, I know: “What does this have to do with the vintage art thing in your house, Erin?”

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU.

After I returned home from CVS, I went on a brief Howard Jones kick on YouTube, and it brought back the fondest memories of the time Janna and I went to see him perform in a freaking cathedral in Cleveland. It was pure bliss! That whole one-day trip was a blast, but one of the best parts was when I took Janna to my favorite CLE vintage shop so we could try on weird hats and whatnot, and I found this…(Mexican? South American? There is nothing on the back of the picture to help me out and I don’t want to wrongly assume and offend anyone!) totally pretty piece of art that is totally my style and it of course came home with me:

It’s right off to the side of the TV, so I see it every day and it makes me so happy! Here is the blog post from the day I bought it! 

***

This was such a crazy throwback weekend: first I saw Mike + the Mechanics on Friday and then Janna and I were in Cleveland on Saturday to see Howard Jones; two childhood dreams come true in one weekend. My unpredictable navigational skills got us there with just enough time to squeeze in a quick lunch, staring at a disgustingly frozen Lake Erie, and, keeping with the theme of Retro Weekend, a necessary and apropos perusal of Flower Child. SPOILER ALERT: this blog post is going to be just about Flower Child. I will drone on as nauseum about all that other stuff later in the week because I love doing things out of order. All the times I’ve been to Clevelend, I never knew this place existed until my friend Jason took us there in 2011 and I bought a glorious light-up/holographic Jesus picture which made Henry grit his teeth.

Just like he probably grit his teeth yesterday when I began texting him pictures of $$$ swag lamps, alerting him to the fact that I had arrived at the place that wants all of my hard-earned monies.

Some of the sexiest Jesuses ever reside in the basement.

I have to touch everything when I’m in there, like I’m inviting midcentury spirits to enter my body through my fingertips and then everyone will be like why is Erin having uncontrollable fits of the Pony? And Janna will be like, “Because she touched some sequined boot and now she has a dead gogo dancer living inside of her, no big deal.”

I don’t think it’s very surprising that my heart belongs to mid-century interior design, considering I was raised in a house with shag carpet and foiled wallpaper. The yellow/burnt orange/brown color palette is instantly comforting to me and brings back memories of every afghan that ever covered the back of a couch in our house when I was a kid.

Luckily for Henry, I didn’t buy any murder weapons disguised as ash trays or 1960s prom dresses, but instead settled for this factory of happy thoughts:

It’s actually made out of paper mâché and the colors are just like SMILE OR I WILL PUNCH YOUR DUMB FACE. When Henry saw it yesterday, he did a slow exhale of relief that it wasn’t an Iron Maiden to go with my Devil rug. And since I’m going out of order here, before Flower Child we stopped int Big Fun, which was having a going out of business sale, so I snagged this Diane Keaton “Clown Paintings” book for $5!

When I posted this on Facebook, one of my friends said, “I feel like, visually, my day is ruined.” So then I posted this collage of some of my other clown memorabilia, because I’m a Little Miss Sweetheart like that:

There’s more Cleveland fun here!

Oh boy, another Friday, another list of 5 worthless things. Well, maybe some of these things will be worthy? But first, a rando photo from the Boulevard: 

I sure hope Jo’s Salon survives COVID-19 because this place and its ever-changing window displays is a true neighborhood institution. (I have never been inside, mostly because I think you have to be an AARP member to receive services.)

1.Henry decided he wanted to get chairs for the front porch (which, as you may know, is barley a porch but there is enough room for two outdoor chair things but we always just sit on the steps and then wonder why our butts and tailbones hurt). This prompted an evening-long Internet search for chairs between Henry and Chooch, who is also very invested in our yard cleanup project after taking one (1) landscape class at the Gifted center last year. At one point, I misheard Henry, and thought he said he was searching for “Clown chairs,” which naturally piqued my interest! But no, he was merely searching for “lawn chairs.” Anyway, this inspired me  to search for clown chairs myself, but the only cool ones I found were actually antiques and cost $500 and up. Um, not for a porch in my hood. So then I started searching “swan chairs” and “porch thrones” and “chairs with feathers” and “flamingo chairs” which yielded no results that impressed me, however, I did accidentally find two flamingo planters which are currently en route to my house. Meanwhile, Henry said fuck it and bought two generic porch chairs from Big Lots which I refuse to sit in because they’re plain. Where is the glitter?! WHERE ARE THE SPARKLES?! Maybe I can make rhinestone tentacles to attach to one of them. WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY. Or so I’m told. 

2(a). My workplace has been really impressing me with their commitment to continuing the conversation of race. Last week, they invited the president of the NAACP to speak with us via WebEx and it was AWESOME. I felt so grateful that we had the opportunity to listen to such wise words and real experiences from someone in that position. This past week, the president and CEO of the Thurgood Marshall College Fund spoke with us, but my audio was super wonky so I have to go back and watch the recording of that one at some point. Also, the firm is launching a pro bono initiative for equal justice, focusing on voting rights, criminal justice reform, and equal justice for indigenous people. I signed up as a volunteer because it sounds like an amazing thing to be part of and I really don’t feel like I’m doing enough as it is. Making donations, posting on social media, and making changes to my own self just seem to only go so far and I feel like I need more action, I don’t know. We’ll see what this entails and if I suck at it or not!

2(b). Re: how I’m working on myself. With all the reflection and introspection in these recent weeks, I remembered this time about 10 years ago which really shows that even though I have always considered myself “not a racist,” I was 100% not handling situations properly. I live in a duplex, and at that time, a Black family lived on the other half. I never had any issues with them, and they still to this day were my favorite neighbors BECAUSE I NEVER HEARD THEM. Anyway, in the duplex on the other side of our driveway lives HNC and his wife. His wife has always been SUPER TERRITORIAL of the driveway, it’s legit insane. So it was only a matter of time before my neighbors performed, in her eyes, some ungodly driveway infraction, resulting in a fullblown screaming match IN MY FRONT YARD. HNC’s wife’s daughter was also involved, and as the verbal fisticuffs escalated, well, out came the slurs. I have always been slightly terrified of HNC’s wife because she seems like the type to go all knives out and massacre the whole block. Sounds dramatic, but…. So instead of flying out the front door the moment I heard the n-word being flung about all willy nilly, I waited until later and then went to my next door neighbor, knocked on the door, and told her, while crying, that I overheard the argument and wanted her to know, whether it made a difference or not, that my family and I did not subscribe to those same hateful sentiments and that I was truly sorry that happened, and that I was on her side. But all these years later, knowing what I know now, I WASN’T DOING A VERY CONVINCING JOB TO PROVE THAT I WAS ON HER SIDE. Because I hadn’t done ANYTHING. I let HNC’s wife run her mouth instead of confronting that racism head-on, because THAT is how you fight the good fight. Not waiting until later and telling your Black neighbor that you don’t hate Black people because let’s  be honest, while I wanted to believe I was telling her this to make her feel better, didn’t I also, deep down, do it to make myself feel better too? Yeah, I’ve learned. That won’t happen again. I can’t say I’m an ally otherwise. (I seriously am terrified of that neighbor though, but there was this one time several years ago when I heard her outside erratically accusing Chooch of breaking her sidewalk lights and I was NOT IN THE MOOD so there was a real confrontation that day which she clearly wasn’t expecting and we have never had a problem since then, is all I’m saying.)

This has nothing to do with the photo of a creepy stairwell that I peeped on one of my nightly walks down the boulevard because the door was left open, but I overheard Chooch refer to Henry and me as his “housemates” the other night when he was talking to god only knows who on the phone. 

3. Last weekend (or the weekend before? The calendar in my mind should be in a Dali exhibition), Henry and I drove past a Chili’s, and it occurred to me that I have eaten at a Chili’s so rarely, that I couldn’t think of a single thing that would be on their menu, and then I felt amazed that this is a restaurant chain that has somehow survived all these years while evidently being so basic that I have never once in the last 20 years even CONSIDERED it as a dining option?! And then I started to freak out and wonder how I have forgotten about its existence all these years when I used to always frequent the shopping center that this particular Chili’s franchise lives and realized that I only have one very vague memory of eating there when I was in middle school, with some friends who weren’t close friends and it was actually kind of weird that we were all even together—why were we together?!—and I think we had probably also gone to the movies because there is a theater right there too but I have no idea what I ate and only remember going home and realizing that I left my camera there and my mom had to call the damn place and then drive me there to get it, and I’m certain I must have eventually gotten that roll of film developed because I have always been a memory hoarder, but what photos did it contain!? AND WHERE ARE THEY NOW!? Wow, thanks for the deep dive into my past, Chili’s. (I’m looking at their menu now. Black bean patty substitute option,, “awesome blossoms” sounds familiar, and corn on the cob is a cool side option, but otherwise this is a vegetarian’s nightmare. No thank YOU, Chili’s.)

How great is this Bong Joon-Ho and his Oscars pin I scored from the pin goddess The Idol Collective? If you still haven’t seen Parasite, what are you even doing with your life?!

4(a). I had to give a training presentation at work yesterday and I was nervous about it because it was the first time I was presenting to more than like, 2 people and even though they’re all my work-buds, my nerves do not discriminate. My lead-in was a throwback to when I was pregnant and freaking out as the nine months drew closer. My calculus professor at Pitt (god, she was the best, this older woman named Joanne who once accidentally sprayed Windex in her face when she was trying to wipe down her projector screen) told me, “Just remember: the birth is only one tiny moment out of your life. You can get through it!” So I decided to apply this to yesterday’s training, which my coworker Nate thought was an excellent strategy even though he’s never given birth, but then I admitted to everyone that on the day of my scheduled C-section, I tried to leave the hospital and the nurse was like EXCUSE ME and I was like YEAH I CHANGED MY MIND I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS NOW which is what I tried to do yesterday but it didn’t work – I had to forge ahead with the training session and you know, it was fine. I did fine. There was applause at the end. 

4(b). When I was trying to think of ways to make myself the most calm during the presentation without resorting to shots of soju beforehand (I was afraid I would wind up accidentally drunk and make it all worse), I wondered if I would feel safer having Chooch sit next to me or if I should put him out in the yard. I opted for the latter. 

4(c). What made it worse though was that I had to do this on the tailend of a check-in call that was only supposed to run for an hour but ended up being TWO HOURS AND 20 MINUTES which is unacceptable in everyone’s book, I think. I was so fatigued after that. But! Like my Pitt professor once said 14 years ago, it was only a small moment out of my life and afterward, I was like YEAH LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO, like all this energy and adrenaline came rushing back to me and I had nothing weighing me down anymore!

Sugar Spell did a charity pint sale last week so we scooped (lol) some up because what’s a little weight-gain when it’s for a good cause, and Henry even snatched a sundae kit too, the contents of which I attempted to photograph but then Penelope photo-bombed it and the dire need to shovel vegan ice cream into my gaping maw was too great to prolong any longer, so I never did go back for a better shot:

5. It’s looking like my department will be easing their way back into the office sometime around late July and I am excited only because I have bought some new shirts, jewelry, pins, and phone cases over the last several months and I miss the random compliments I get while walking around town on my lunch break YES I’M A NARCISSIST AND ALSO A LEO. We thrive on compliments. I’m not excited about the trolley though. Or dealing with the new safety procedures that have been implemented. I have had conversations with several work friends though and there are some of us who think this is too soon. I mean, I think restaurants have reopened too soon as well. Because this whole “green light” thing is giving people the misconception that things are back “to normal” and they’re not – we’re still in the middle of a pandemic with no fucking vaccine!? WHY AREN’T PEOPLE WEARING MASKS? I swear to god, these maskless assholes running amok are going to be the first people to go on social media asking people to pray for them after they get COVID-19 but ok have fun at the movies and Olive Garden,  you selfish assholes! IT’S JUST A HOAX, RIGHT? 

UGH. On that note, I’m about to go wake up Henry and tell him I’m ready to be fed. Go do something you enjoy. (Unless it’s illegal, then I don’t condone it!!! ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES ANIMALS! UNLESS YOU’RE STEALING AN ANIMAL FROM AN ABUSE HOUSEHOLD. THEN OK! My mom actually did that twice, to the same person. The most proud I’ve ever been of her.)

Hi guys, here I am, it’s me, Erin. I had a whole list of bullshit I was going to rant about but then I ended having A TIME today and my brain feels like a smoothie bowl (see also: what I had for dinner tonight) and my throat hurts from doing an hour long presentation with an actual human audience as opposed to the cat crowd I’m usually crowing to on the daily.

So we’re gonna relax up on here tonight and listen to some Korean (and one Chinese!) jimmy-jamz! It’s been awhile since I shared my current faves, and I have a handful that have been on constant rotation over here on Pioneer Ave, plus I’m also sharing MY GIRL Hyolyn and the live performance she did recently on a new Korean music competition called Good Girl. God, Hyolyn is full queen.

But first! Here’s the latest Twice, which is my favorite comeback of theirs in a long time. I love their edgier side, and the outfits they’ve been wearing in all of the countdown shows have been amazing! Like Swiss Bohemian, I don’t even know.

Next up, let’s give Kang Daniel some love! He was in the now-defunct group WANNA ONE which I loved so much, but they had a very shelf life. Luckily, he went solo so we still get to hear his pretty voice! And fun fact, he’s dating Jihyo from Twice and I’m here for that!

Ugh, and then we have Demian. This song is several months old but every time it comes on my kpop Spotify playlist in the middle of the night, IT WAKES ME UP BECAUSE IT IS THAT FUCKING GOOD. There’s something about that gives me strong “summer night” vibes.  It has also inspired me to make a spice rack out of old cassette tapes for the kitchen:

I dare you to listen to that and not have it stuck in your head. Ugh.

In non-Korean jams, WayV (the Chinese sub-unit of one of my favorite kpop groups NCT) just had a comeback! You may remember that two of these members are also in the super group SuperM so I always give them lots of love when they have a comeback!

This song (and also the day I had) makes me want to go on an aggro-run through the back alleys of Brookline.

Meanwhile, another WANNA ONE alum is over here making me cry, but what else is new:

I’m glad that I got to see WANNA ONE while they were still together!

And to end, here is the promised Hyolyn video I promised, which I made Henry watch also and was mad that he didn’t cry like I did. God I love her. LOOK AT HER EMOTIVE FACE!! She is a goddess!

Hyolyn used to be in the legendary group Sistar. They disbanded in 2017 and I’m still not over it.

Actually, let’s end this with a super iconic anthem from Sistar, the official summer babes of Korea. God, this song is still so good, lol:

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE OMG.

I’ll tell you if there’s one upside about COVID19 (there’s not) it’s that our weekends have been especially productive lately. I mean, not having anywhere to go helps, because even though the shit we’ve been getting done is the stuff that’s been on The List for years, we (I) would always choose fun stuff over, you know, yard work.

But this weekend, we made a little retaining wall/fence thingy out of pieces of a broken pallet and I told everyone that I did all the work and I think people actually believed that because quarantine is really doing a thing to our minds, I guess. I did pick out the colors and even spray-painted some of the slats, though!

Chooch is the one who drove them all into the ground…

…but then Henry went around afterward and re-did it all, wow.

Our yard is still whack, but that fence-thing does make me very happy.

I asked Henry is our social justice sidewalk annoys him and he quietly answered, “I wouldn’t have bought you more chalk if it did.” THAT MAYBE WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING HE’S EVER SAID TO ME?

In other project news:

• we’re also currently redoing our coffee table. Years ago, we had turned  it into a phot collage, which was cool but if we’re being honest, there are some people featured on this that I no longer speak to, plus water spilled on it and Henry hadn’t sealed the photos properly so the fiberboard underneath it got all bloated and warped the top. (So, if you’ve ever wondered, “How well did that DIY hold up?” the answer is “not well.” Lol.) We’re mostly keeping the concept the same, changing the colors up just a bit, but the pictures will be strictly from our Korea trips because I can’t imagine ever tiring of looking at those, as opposed to stupid girls who harass me online, lol.
• moderate kitchen makeover
• light up clouds above the steps  because why not
• the Seoul subway project is at a standstill because Henry ordered a roll of plastic for the front of it and USP shipped it back and forth from Georgia to Virginia and back again, numerous times, so that by the time it made it to us in Pittsburgh, it was damaged and Henry had to return it. The odds are really stacked against us for this project.

In other weekend news:

1. we hung out with Blake and Haley Saturday night, for the first time since the pandemic hit us! Granted, we all just chilled outside in the yard and weren’t like, hugging each other or anything, but it was nice to talk to them in person and not via Instagram or through their window.
2. Chooch tagged along on our Sunday cemetery walk because he’s back on that Pokémon Go tip, which is at least getting him out of the house. Anyway, we’re always a walking caravan of dysfunction when we go on family walks together. And then at one point, Chooch found a tombstone he liked and asked us to get one for him!? I was like, “OMG HOPEFULLY WE ARE BOTH DEAD BY THE TIME YOU REQUIRE A TOMBSTONE, THANKS.” God, morbid much.
3. Chooch’s nemesis Larry’s dog almost came into our house on Saturday, so that was cool. She’s a big-ass Doberman and I’m sure my cats would have loved that.
4. we watched LA 92 Sunday night and as previously mentioned in one of my recent book review posts when I wrote about Your House Will Pay (loosely based on the LA riots), the amount of facts I knew about the Rodney King case and aftermath was extremely limited. I mean I know I was in middle school and was probably playing Girl Talk and watching Hey Dude or something, but shit—my parents must not have talked about the news at the dinner table or else I was too busy scowling at my lima beans and pork chops to remember. But yeah, I definitely feel like I just flat out didn’t know it was as fucking devastating as it was. I just remember seeing the Rodney King footage at the time, but HOLY FUCK those riots were some horrifying purge-type shit. It’s been two days since we watched it and I still can’t wipe some of those images out of my mind. I think it’s a very important documentary, ESPECIALLY during this latest bout of civil unrest and racial injustice and inequality, but please heed the viewer discretion at the beginning because there were moments where it was literally like watching a snuff film and I have had unsettling dreams ever since.
5. after regaling Blake & Haley with horror stories from school, Chooch felt compelled to start his own blog, of his own accord! I’m so excited about this but also treading lightly because if I get too smothery/school marmy/pushy about it, or even show too much interest, he’ll quit. Being a mom is so tricky sometimes. But anyway! His blog is fun and I hope he doesn’t lose interest! Go check it out!

Well, I think that’s all that happened this past weekend.

Over the last several years, with the heightened awareness of police brutality, I have stopped on several occasions while on my lunch break walks downtown after witnessing a cop/cops interacting with Black men. (In these cases, they were all men.) Usually there were several other people too who would also stop their roll and provide vigilance, because YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW. Gotta have your phones out, at the ready, at all times.

But for some reason, I never actually thought this the whole way through. Yeah, I’m standing there, glaring at the cops, getting ready to —- what? What exactly is the protocol in these situations? Am I allowed to run over there and start kicking the cops? (Henry just said NO!) And especially now that the Black Lives Matter movement is running full throttle (good!! I hope it stays that way until CHANGES ARE MADE), I also realized that while I have been seeing a ton of information being shared on ways to help, ways to check to our privilege, ways to donate, etc., I haven’t actually seen anything in any of my social media feeds on what to do if we find ourselves in a bystander position when a racially-charged police situation does escalate.

So I googled it because this seems important to know, right? Like, it could potentially happen to any one of us, where we are now that person who can make or break a case against police brutality. Like, can we actually call the police on the police? That seems…weird?

Of all the articles I read, only one actually said to do this, even though it seems counterproductive (like, aren’t we just doing the cops a solid by inviting more of the bad guys to the party?), but apparently, if they hear the dispatch call, it can get them to back off and check themselves. I dunno, this seems like an unlikely outcome, if you ask me. Maybe get the firemen on the scene!

? COULD WE LIE AND SAY THAT WE’RE HURT AND NEED AN AMBULANCE, INSTEAD?

The general consensus seems to be: RECORD EVERYTHING. We, as American citizens, are within our legal rights to record everything the police do, as long as it’s on public grounds and we stay 6 feet away. They are not allowed to arrest us for recording, demand us to stop, or confiscate our phones without a warrant.

I can’t even begin to imagine how helpless every single witness in every single police brutality case has felt, having to stand on the sidelines, shouting at them to stop, and being unable to interfere further, for risk of being fucking killed as well.

We have got to keep the ACAB mentality and assume the worst when we were out in public and see a Black person being stopped by police.

It’s us against them and if we are going to say that we are allies to our Black friends, then we have to fucking stand up and supervise these altercations until there is some kind of massive law enforcement reformation and cops can maybe one day be trusted to do their jobs like normal fucking decent human beings.

(Personal side note: I have hated cops for 25 years of my life and will stop and glare at them every chance I get. Especially those cop-dicks on motorcycles. I yelled, ‘WOW YOU’RE REAL FUCKING COOL” at one of them a few months ago and felt so good about it for days. BRING IT, PIGS.)

Sources for more detailed info and not my amateur breakdown:

HuffPost

Find Law

Ella Baker Center : this one also gives guidelines on what to do if you’re the one involved with the police, some of which I wasn’t aware.

While I’m busy being angry at America and the world and taking it out on Henry via housework and projects, here are some pictures of Drew because wouldn’t it be nice to be a cat if only for a day?

I mean, the cats have so many toys, our house looks like we must surely have a toddler. My other cats (RIP) rarely played with toys and preferred twist ties and other assorted wrappers, though Marcy did enjoy cat tunnels. Don’t get me wrong, Drew and Penelope will adopt a rogue twist tie or rubber band and give it all their devotion for days upon days until it’s lost or, god forbid, thrown away.

But they fucking love their toy mice and stuff too, which Marcy, Speck, Don, and Willie couldn’t be bothered with.

I found this totally cute pizza bed at Meowingtons.com for the cats. So far, they mostly only give a shit about the plush anchovies and have already dragged one to some hidden locale in the house, never to be seen again since the very first day we got it. Every night, Drew absconds with the remaining two and proceeds to run around crying with one dangling from her maw.

It’s so strange.

I woke up the other morning with one outside our bedroom door, and the other was on the couch with Chooch, who had fallen asleep there the night before.

Little gifts…or threats. Who can be sure.

Penelope, meanwhile, is currently obsessed with this ratty lime green pompom that I *think* might have come in a pack of cat toys, but could also be something left over from a craft project, etc. You never know, but like Drew and the anchovies, Penelope will run around WAILING with this damn thing stuffed in her mouth.

We have evidence that she actually slept in the bed one (1) time, though, as recorded by Chooch who woke up at 4am last week and caught her in the act.

Chooch used one of his Amazon giftcards to buy this milk carton scratch pad which is supposed to be for BOTH CATS, but Drew is ultra territorial and anytime Penelope tries to pose as a missing kid, Drew flexes on her until she comes back out.

Sigh. Cat sisters.

Anyway, playing with the cats has been one of the few bright spots lately.

Side note: I started googling Laddie from Lost Boys after thinking about missing kids on milk cartons and randomly found someone’s vlog on YouTube where they visited some of the Lost Boys filming locations and that seems like a really fun post-pandemic pilgrimage, doesn’t it, Henry? DOESN’T IT? Lol, he can’t hear me over the buzz of the saw he’s currently operating outside as he works on yet another motherfucking project I’ve added to his list.

I guess today was technically Chooch’s last day of school? Obviously, schools had shut down in March due to COVID-19, and for the first several weeks, curriculum was at a stand still for Pittsburgh public schools. But once the online classes started, Chooch zipped right through it and finished early, and he did it all without me hovering (I had my stupid check-in calls and video chats to worry about, OK!?).

It’s hard to believe that he’s finally done with that school though. Look, it was convenient how it was only a few blocks away and he could walk there, and he ended up having some good relationships with some of the teachers (math, mainly) but I had a lot of issues with that place. Loved the principal though! But the gym teachers sucked, the art teacher was a big cunt (there was a new one for his final year though and he liked her!), the guidance counselor was worthless. And don’t even get Chooch started on the lunch ladies!

Hoo boy, he had beef (lol) with them throughout his entire stint at this elementary school.

But now he’s on to (hopefully) greener pastures when he starts Pittsburgh SciTech in August! (Assuming schools will be OK to reopen by then…?) I’m sad that he’s growing up obviously but also really excited to be more involved in his new school (HEY YOU NEVER KNOW, PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!!!) and I know he’s looking forward to being challenged and being around new people.

This afternoon, his favorite teacher (the math one, natch) came by to give him his official graduation certificate thing, a gift bag of treats and gift certificates, and to shove this sign in our yard which Blake excitedly took a selfie with later on. He’s such a proud big brother, I guess, lol.

So yeah, it was a weird way to end the school year, and now he’ll probably be shell-shocked when he has to actually be in a real classroom again. But at least now we’ll be able to officially begin our summer of Breakfast Clubbin’!

(Actually, I might wait a few more weeks because eating in a restaurant again has me skeeved out.)

OMG I’m a mom to high schooler, how did this happpppppppppppen!!!!!!!!!!?????????

Photo cred: Julia Rendleman

This photo has been emblazoned on my brain ever since I first saw it the other day. I really want to buy a print of this and frame it as a reminder of how fucking important and POWERFUL the last few weeks have been. I really hope this is a turning point that sticks; I know change doesn’t happen over night but if this is something that we keep discussing with each other (especially those reluctant to hear it) and make sure to stay motivated and ANGRY until election day, that has got to count for something.

I also saw this on Twitter which sparked so much rage inside me:

You guys know I hate football on principle, but when the whole Take a Knee controversy happened, I was ready to buy a Kaepernick jersey, for real. It’s alarming to me how many people STILL DON’T GET IT. Henry had to listen to me rant about it for about an hour in a cemetery on Sunday but it’s nothing new to him – this has been a hot button topic for me since the day it happened. I remember going to work and yelling, “I THINK I LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER NOW” to Glenn and Todd.

To show my solidarity for him, I’ve donated to his foundation, Know Your Rights Camp, and kindly suggest that you also consider donating!

And tomorrow, the president of the NAACP will be speaking to the Law Firm and I am really looking forward to listening to him, learning more, and hopefully walking away with even more ways to help boost the movement ahead.

2020 might be the year of COVID-19 ruining proms and vacations (& you know, killing a staggering amount of people while forcing fragile white Americans to have to OH MY GOD wear a mask), but it’s also the year that racist monuments are toppling, NASCAR’s banning Confederate flags, and police are being defunded. DON’T STOP, 2020! There’s still plenty of time to cram in more historical improvements to this limping country!

A few weeks ago, I suggested (and not aggressively so) that we get bushes for the front of the house to cover the dumb ugly gas meter, and as Henry was agreeing, I continued, “and then we can sculpt them into Wonderland-ish delights” and that was met with a deep frown.

And then, without me having to say it every single day after that, HE DID IT ALL OF HIS OWN VOLITION! Literally came home from Lowe’s on Saturday morning (his birthday, even!) and went to town (er, yard).

Honestly, I think that being mostly homebound has really helped inspire him to tackle projects here at home, since we’re not out and about or traveling to amusement parks and kpop concerts. And then sometimes Henry just really gets super motivated out of the blue.

This was the first time Drew has ever shown any interest in the outside world!

When Marcy was alive, she used to LOVE going outside in the warmer months. She’d just roll around on the sidewalk, eat some grass, and then chill out watching people walk by. When Henry’s mom used to babysit Chooch in the summer, she and Marcy were porch-sitting BFFs. Ugh, I miss Marcy.

I’m not sure if Drew will ever reach that comfort level because she’s so skittish, but it was super cute watching her stand in the doorway and look all around.

AND THEN PENELOPE WAS LIKE, “ME TOO!”

Meanwhile, Chooch did the bare minimum as far as the actual act of planting goes, while I stood around and shouted directions in between writing social justice slogans on the sidewalk and reading a book.

One day last week, I answered the door to get a package and the delivery guy was like, “It’s not very often I see Korean written on sidewalks in Pittsburgh!” and I was like, “OMG I’M OBSESSED WITH KOREA! I’ve been there twice and would move there if I could,” and he said he was jealous, and that it seems like such an awesome place, and LOOK AT ME TALKING TO STRANGERS!

Then he left and I was like, “Shit, I should have asked him if he likes BIGBANG.” I mean, it’s not everyday someone walks on my sidewalk and actually knows that what they’re looking at is Korean! That was an exciting moment for me because I have clearly been starved for human contact. Who knew.

We usually would have a screen door there but then it broke two years ago and dumb Henry still hasn’t replaced it because I think he secretly wants to keep our shanty looking as shantyful as possible.

I have no idea what any of these flowers are but they’re pretty.

“We” still have to make a little retaining fence thingy for the yard out of pieces of wood, but of course I have to paint them all sorts of colors first because everything in my life needs to look like a rainbow hemorrhaged on it.

Anyway, this is just one of many household projects “we” would like to tackle this summer. And he has time since my Seoul subway picture is on hold while he’s waiting for some plastic thing to be delivered, ugh. I hate waiting for things to get done!

Before I get into the last week of what I read for Asian Readathon, I want to take a moment to share a list of Black-owned independent book stores. I know that a lot of my friends are on a mission to read more books by Black authors, but please consider patronizing these small businesses in lieu of Amazon or whatever big chain book store you’d normally turn to. It’s a small way we can show support & love to our Black bookish community members while also doing all the other actual hard work! And keep those shelves diverse, because lord knows we all can stand to fill our brains with perspectives and experiences that differ from our own. <3

(Credit: Instagram user worn_ware)

21. Devotion of Suspect X – Keigo Higashino 

This Japanese thriller was a wild ride! Henry and I listened to the audio book and then immediately watched the movie – the book was better. One of the characters is a math teacher and I thought I’d be deterred by the math elements but it made the story even more interesting. This is actually #3 in the “Professor Galileo” series, but the only one that’s been translated to English. From what I read, you don’t have to read them in order, which is good, because I had already started reading it when I found out, lol.

I highly recommend this to my thriller lovers who are looking for something different.

22. The Good Son – Jeong You-Jeong

Another psychological thriller, but this time we’re back in Korea, boyyyy. In this one, we’re following a boy in his 20s as he tries to figure out DA FUQ happened after he wakes up and finds his mom dead. It goes back and forth between present day and memories. It’s pretty effing chilling, and also….quiet.

23. Written in the Stars – Aisha Saeed

Full disclosure, I picked this up thinking it was going to be some YA fluff and I kind of needed that after two back-to-back thrillers. Um, wow, no. This book is FUCKING HEAVY. Our main character Naila is Pakistani American and gets busted going to prom with her boyfriend Saif and shit really hits the fan because her immigrant parents are TRADITIONAL. So they arrange a family trip back to Pakistani that summer and first it’s just for like, two weeks, then it keeps getting extended, and eventually Naila realizes it’s because her parents and extended family are trying to marry her off.

This book….it gets SO REAL and I was actually terrified. I had no idea it would get as deep and dark as it did and I’m glad it did because this shit is the reality for lots of women and it really makes you have perspective.

Like, her family literally was like, “Marriage is more important than education” when all this poor girl cared about was getting back to the States in time for college orientation. It was crazy. Asian Readathon really took me on a lot of rides.

24. In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom – Park Yeonmi

I wanted to read at least one non-fiction book for this readathon and I knew early on that it would be this one. Yeonmi lived in North Korea until she was 13 so not only does she provide a pretty detailed glimpse into what life was like in under the rule of the Kims, but her mother also helped provide an extensive family history, so you can see the ebb and flow of their living conditions. That’s scary enough as it is, but once it gets into the actual defecting portion of the book, I was biting my nails off. The shit she and her mother went through in China made me cry all of the tears I had inside me.

I’m not a big biography reader, but I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in learning more about North Korea from the perspective of a young defector, because there was a lot I didn’t know myself. For instance, did you know that in North Korean classrooms, elementary school kids learn math not with apples and oranges, but with propaganda. (From the book: “If you kill one American bastard and your comrade kills two, how many dead American bastards do you have?”)

Park Yeonmi is one brave lady. I wouldn’t have lasted a day in her shoes.

25. The Wrath & the Dawn – Renee Ahdieh 

I almost didn’t pick this one up off my Libby shelf but HOO BOY am I glad I did. It’s a retelling of 1001 Arabian Nights and it is LEGIT FIRE. When I read the synopsis, I was full shrug mode, but Renee Ahdieh can WRITE DIALOGUE, you guys. Holy shit, she wrote the most brilliant characters, the banter was edgy and real, and the personalities fucking sparkled.

Shazi infiltrates the palace to avenge the death of her best friend, killed by the young king who kills all of his wives. She is a strong lead, and her handmaiden is SASSY AF. I had a lot of fun reading this which was good since my last several books were so heavy and depressing.

There’s a sequel to this that I haven’t added to my list yet but you better believe I’ll read it this summer!

26. The Farm – Joanne Ramos

Yeah, I didn’t like this much at all and I don’t really have much to say about it expect that I learned about some Filipino desserts that I want Henry to make now.

There wasn’t a single likable character in this book and it was just…not great. Unless you like reading about girls who get paid to have babies for super rich people but they have to live in this super strict and Big Brother-y facility. Then this book was made for you.

27. Severance – Ling Ma

Another post-apocalyptic novel! This one was about the “Shen Fever” which basically turned people into non-violent zombie-types who performed the same task over and over on a loop, like folding clothes, but they aren’t the focus here. The main character is a 20-something Chinese American living in NYC and working for a company that publishes Bibles, when the fever hits, and it alternates between her on the road with a small group of survivors, and her life preceding the fever. I gave this a 3 on Goodreads, but it’s more of a very solid 3.5 and ONLY because the ending is too….open.

I fell in love with Ling Ma’s writing and this was a different, fresh take on apocalyptic novels and I really needed that. The ending though, ugh.

28. The Majesties – Tiffany Tsao 

I finished this one on the very last day of the month and I’m really glad I was able to squeeze it in! It’s like a darker Crazy Rich Asians, following two Indonesian sisters and their, well, crazy rich family. Right away, it starts with one of the sisters mass-murdering 300 of their family and friends—not a spoiler—and the rest of the book follows the other sister, the sole survivor, as she tries to piece together what happened to make her sister do it.

I REALLY LIKED THIS BOOK and didn’t even see the (not too original, but still effective) twist coming.

***

So that’s it! I ended up reading 28 books, encompassing everything from literary fiction, YA, thrillers, dystopian novels, one graphic novel, and one non-fiction, and I DNFd two books (Guilded Wolves and The Terracotta Bride). I was going to make some graphics breaking down my stats even further, but who has time for that these days.

1. Even though he is a Faygo slinger, he only drinks unsweetened ice tea. (And lately, he has gotten into cold brew but then he dumps half of a thing of creamer in it, so….)
   1. OMG he just took a big swig of tea and said, “Sheetz got their sweet tea back!” I guess it was gone during quarantine but now that our county went back down to green, it’s back. Good to know?
2. He went through a country phase before he knew me, gross.
3. He loves kitchen-y stuff so much that he once made me host a Pampered Chef party and it was one of the worst evenings of my life.
4. He always looks angry in pictures but he is actually a pretty laid-back guy.
5. Shit, I was going to say what his favorite color is but I can’t remember now. Chooch and I always joke that it’s “poop” or “puke” colors and one day he snapped and screamed at us what his actual favorite color is but all I remember is that it’s one of the ROY G. BIVs. I’ll ask him later, I guess. (He just said, “I don’t have one. I don’t know. Black. Or red or blue. Uh, probably red.” See, I thought it was orange, glad I waited.)
6. He used to be a paper boy when he was a kid. 
7. He bought a pair of cowboy boots when he was in THE SERVICE and only wore them once because they hurt his feet.
8. He was in THE SERVICE.
9. He loves to white knight.
10. He hasn’t read a book since the early 2000s when I got him into Harlan Coben; now all he reads is Reddit, Korean subtitles, and the weekly circulars. And I guess recipes count.
11. He will listen to audio books though, but he says it’s just because it’s a way to spend time with me, AWWWWW.
12. He’s part Syrian (not Siberian, like Chooch thought, or Serbian like I just almost typed.)
13. His ult Kpop biases are Cha Eun Woo of Astro and Bae Suzy, formerly of Miss A (she’s an actor now).

14. He can fall asleep anywhere, such as Warped Tour or leaning against the wall of Mr. Small’s during a post-hardcore show.
15. He LOVES soft pretzels. OMG 10 minutes after I typed this, he came through the door looking like this:

16. Even though he refuses to eat tofu, he is really great at cooking with it.
17. He used to be an electrician’s apprentice so he knows how to do light-things, which is handy.
18. All of his clothes are black, gray, ugly. Usually they have beverage logos on them too.
19. He insists on trying to fix everything himself even though the last time I checked, he’s not a plumber or car mechanic and doesn’t hang drywall for a living, but OK, fix on, Mr. Fix-It.
20. As an avid meat-eater, he actually really enjoys vegan food. He just doesn’t like the stereotypical vegan clientele.
21. He’s never been in jail.
22. He LOVES “The Princess Bride” and “The Princess Diaries.” I am not joking about the second one.
23. He hates when we make up new names for the cats and refuses to call them by their new names.
24. His entire family calls him Joey (his middle name is Joseph).
25. He hates Trump.
26. He refuses to exercise with me because, and I quote, I WALK AROUND A WAREHOUSE ALL DAY LONG, THAT IS ENOUGH EXERCISE.
27. He is great at giving directions, but when it comes to using maps himself, he will undoubtedly fuck it up at least once.
28. He can name any plane model that flies above us.
29. He was a big Days of Our Lives fanboy back in the day and he hard-stanned John Black.
30. He is our private chauffeur and by that I mean when we find an amusement park halfway across the country, he will drive us there (but not without complaint, which is annoying).
31. When Uber and Lyft were still semi-new, he had a brief stint as a Lyft driver but the picture the Lyft manager guy took of him for his profile was so menacing-looking, that women were canceling left and right.
32. He’ll go along with just about anything I want to do even though he acts super put-out about it.
33. His favorite thing to do is sleep.
34. His favorite subject in school was “I don’t know.”
35. He used to play volleyball lol.
36. His favorite cartoon as a kid was Looney Tunes.
37. As he’s outside planting shrubbery and other plants, which is how I learned he also is an expert at landscaping.
38. His favorite thing to do at an amusement park is sit on a bench while we ride a roller coaster.
39. His favorite TV shows are NCIS and Blacklist.
40. He went through a phase where he had long hair and wore bandannas and people assumed it was because he was balding BUT NO, HE JUST LOVED DRESSING UP HIS HEAD.
41. He is a huge procrastinator which makes me have to be a nag.
42. He loves to hide sit on the chair on the back porch and watch HBO.
43. He loves when shit happens outside of our house and he gets to call 911 like a hero.
44. He talks to the cats, but uses his regular voice and refuses to acknowledge that they’re people.
45. He used to smoke trees?!!?
46. His favorite K-drama is a tie between Are You Human Too? and When the Camelia Blooms.

47. He got kicked out of a strip club in Texas when he was in the SERVICE for throwing fifty cents at a stripper.
48. If cole slaw is on the menu, consider it in his mouth.
49. His favorite Korean food is donkkaseu.
50. He used to drive a school bus for three weeks when he was 24 or 25 and quit because he allegedly got another job but it was more likely because the kids were bullying him.
51. I asked him the name of his first girlfriend and he literally couldn’t answer me, he looked like he was thinking himself to death, so I think the answer is that his ex-wife was also his first girlfriend.
52. When I used LiveJournal, the name I used for him was Hoover because he sucks the fun out of everything and before that it was Emily Pringle, because one time he thought I called him Emily and he looks like the guy on the Pringles can.
53. He used to be obsessed with a DIY show called She’s Crafty.
54. He goes to “the store” every single fucking day because it’s his refuge, his sanctuary, his “safe place.” And also because he ALWAYS FORGETS TO GET AT LEAST ONE THING THAT WE PUT ON THE SHOPPING LIST! But honestly, I always picture him in a total zone, pushing the cart down the aisle to the popular soft rock tunes wafting down from the rafters, with a faraway look in his eyes thinking of the life he could have had.
55. When he was in 10th or 11th grade, he got in trouble for punching a hole in the ceiling. I hoped that it was because he was the losing part of a love triangle or was ‘roid-raging after one of those volleyball games, but no. It was just because part of the ceiling was already falling down and he reached up and punched more of it down and got caught by the janitor. Wow. Cool story, Hank-bro. (OH WAIT SHIT, HE JUST TOLD ME, “Oh, and I did get paddled for that too, just so you know. And I had to pay for it.” His grandma was more mad that he got paddled than the fact that he DESTROYED SCHOOL PROPERTY AND HAD TO PAY FOR IT.  Wow, how have I never known this story!?!? He said he doesn’t think his mom knows about it!)

On that note, Happy birthday to our favorite frowner! Thanks for being the best non-husband/housewife/caregiver/project-doer/obsession-enabler. I’ll try to be less demanding today! Go drink some unsweetened ice tea under a tree and dream about your SERVICE days! Just come home in time to make dinner.

In lieu of my typical Friday Five dum-dum postings, here’s some more important stuff.

Like, for one thing, the house down the street of me that has had grotesque pro-trump flags hanging on their porch since they moved in a year ago has since taken them down. I dunno if it’s because they had a change of heart (doubtful, you know how those Trumpers are), took them down out of fear, or someone ripped them down in protest, but I am just really super happy that they are gone. BYE BYE. Hopefully they don’t come back—one of them is that gross picture of Trump as Rambo, holding a machine gun.

That family has a dog and Chooch and I always say we feel so sorry for it, having to live in a Trump house.

There was a protest that was supposed to march pass our house earlier today so Chooch and I went outside to redo our sidewalk statements that were washed away in the rain yesterday. I recently learned how to say Black Lives Matter in Korean, thanks to a Korean American clothing brand – Kore Limited – who released a statement the other day. I am living for the companies that are stepping up and fighting the good fight, and even more happy when I see influencers/YouTubers/celebs terminating contracts with those that aren’t.

(Shout out to Chooch for his sick fist-drawing skills!)

While we’re on that topic, I love seeing people posting about local Black-owned businesses to support, but can I share a business here that I will never ever ever give a single cent to?

This place is in the building where I work and while I have never personally bought anything there, we have had department lunches catered by them in the past. I sincerely hope our department will no longer give this place their business. Windows can be replaced; lives can’t.

On a happier note! Our favorite vegan ice cream shop is taking pint preorders starting tomorrow at 7pm and proceeds from their sales will be donated to local non-profits supporting racial equality so if you’re in Pittsburgh, get yo orders in quick tomorrow night because they sell out fast!

And on that note, I hope everyone takes some time to breathe & decompress this weekend. Then get right back at it! Fuck systemic racism, fuck Trump, fuck the police.

Spent some time in the cemetery last weekend, but most of it was consumed with following along with the protests, being with them in spirit, and doing a fuck-ton of crying.

I don’t even really know what to say, but I came here because I just wanted to feel that methodical tapping of the keys because it’s therapeutic and I think we all, on some levels, could use some tender lovin’ THERAPY. I’m never really good at expressing myself when it comes to civil/social/racial issues because all my gut reaction is always to cry and/or get angry. George Floyd’s murder and the civil unrest that has unraveled in the aftermath feels different, like this time it could be the impetus to actually really move things forward. 

I know there’s a conversation going on about whether people are born racist or not. I know that I was. I come from a family of “low-key” racists. You know the types. The “I’m not racist, but” kinds of white people. And my school had only a handful of Black students. I think in my grade, there were maybe 4? And two of them, my friend Jameelah and her brother, were Muslim who were told that they couldn’t have a room to pray in during Ramadan, yet our school allowed Bible studies to be held there, and I definitely remember pray things happening outside around the fucking flag pole. 

I mean, I lived next to a town called Pleasant Hills. Pleasant fucking Hills, you guys. You don’t get much whiter than that.

But, thank god, my family wasn’t super tight-knit in the sense that we’d all sit down around the meatloaf and lima beans while Ma and Pa would shove their conservative morals and beliefs down our throats. Like, I was pretty sure I knew where they stood on certain social issues, but I was able to find my own path, have diverse interests, and form my own (Henry says ‘too’) liberal opinions. But I definitely remember that although having Black friends wasn’t verboten in my household, I was 100% told that if I ever dated a Black guy, I’d be written out of the Will. 

But even though I was able to grow up not hating or fearing people with different skin colors than my own, doesn’t mean that I was perfectly non-racist.

For example, even in high school, when I had a bunch of Black friends (“Yeah, but I have Black friends!” – I know, I know, I’m sorry, I did that) and was immersed in Black media, I had NO IDEA what cultural appropriation was. Like, if one of my white friends had worn a Native American headdress for Halloween, I am sure I wouldn’t have batted an eye. 

Even in my early 20s (god, 20 years ago!), I probably chuckled at off-color jokes.

But then I started to learn some more, especially with the rise of social media. The information and facts were in my face then. I would read things about white privilege and think, “Oh shit, I do that.”  It wasn’t until probably 15 years ago when I started reading what Black people were saying about their hair, and that’s how I learned about cultural appropriation. And I got it. I understood. This makes sense to me now, I thought, and I wish that the white people who roll their eyes and say “They’re just being sensitive” or “it’s just fucking hair” would also take the time out to UNDERSTAND. We treat them like shit, yet turn around and try to take away what’s theirs, just for a fashion statement. 

I probably STILL am not perfectly non-racist, but I am learning. I’m reading. I’m taking the time to educate myself and my kid, to read more books written by Black authors, to LISTEN to what my Black Americans are saying. I need to be better at calling people out. I have to put in the work. And WE ALL have to vote. We need a new, and better, normal. 

I read this line The Diviners yesterday and it’s so on point: “When the world moves forward too fast for some people, they try to pull us all back with their fear.” These bitches can stay scared while the rest of us keep pushing ahead.

***

Today, Henry and I walked past two city cops and I glared at them.

“People should start looking at cops the way racists look at Black people,” I said. “Like, we should all just glare at them and make them feel uncomfortable like they don’t belong here.”

“You already do that,” Henry sighed.

It’s true. I haven’t liked cops since 1995 when my mom had them break into my bedroom and zip-tie my wrists and then drag me outside to an ambulance because she thought I was doing drugs/killing myself when all I was doing was listening to Bone Thugs n- Harmony but OK. 

If you have ever said or thought “Blue lives matter” or “all lives matter,” check your ears because you’re not listening.

If you have said, “I get what happened was wrong, but” then you don’t truly understand your privilege. There is no room for white knighting in this matter.

If you’re more upset that buildings are burning and not that black people continue to be murdered by the police, where is your humanity?

If you are not anti-racism or willing to educate yourself, kindly unfollow, unsubscribe, delete, etc. Actually, scratch the “kindly.” Just get the fuck out.

Happy Sunday. Here is a collection of things Chooch made last week which is exactly what the name of this blog post alludes.

1. kimchi bokkeumbap

Henry bought Chooch another one of those vegetarian meal kit things and this one included ingredients of “kimchi fried rice” but anyone who knows anything about Korean food knows that this is actually “bokkeumbap” and it’s something that is included at the end of meals in certain restaurants in Korea, where the server will come over and dump all the extra rice and kimchi into a pan at your table and stir that shit up right in front of you. Honestly—restaurants in Korea are next level.

Chooch was mad though because this one came with mushrooms that he had to scrape the “gills” and he hates mushrooms to begin with so it’s always a great sign when you can hear the chef in the kitchen gagging and dry-heaving. Mmmm!!

He picked all the mushrooms out of his own serving lol.

2. Fancy Moroccan Carrot Thing

Another one of the recipes that came in the meal kit was this WONDERFUL carrot thing. I love non-orange carrots so this was very appealing to me. Chooch felt like he cooked the rice too long but it had that wildly desirable crunch-layer to it so I gave it two thumbs up. I love crunchy/mildly-burnt rice! It’s the best part of bibimbap too!

Anyway, Chooch is much better at plating than Henry. It’s awesome to have two people cooking for me now haha.

3. Edible Drew Portrait

Chooch’s final assignment for his gifted art class was to make a mosaic or collage using shit around the house. I thought it would have been a good opportunity to do a portrait of his loving mother using (costume) jewels and flowers, but he ignored me and opted instead on his favorite cat Drew as the subject matter, and used dry goods from the kitchen. 

I mean, it’s technically edible but there is A LOT OF PEPPER, garlic powder, salt and onion powder mixed with cocoa and sprinkles, so…

Anyway, this isn’t actually due until next Friday so I was super impressed that he knocked it out in one sitting, an entire week in advance. Thank god. 

He took a picture so he could turn it in, and then promptly threw it away, lol. 

4. Cats uncomfortable

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this picture of him making our poor cat Penelope uncomfortable.

Welp, that’s all for today. Happy Sunday (did I already say that?). Go hug a tree and be nice to each other.