I would be remiss not to take some time out to fully appreciate the splendor* that is the Grand Curiosa Hotel in Gothenburg, the official hotel for Liseberg amusement park. It was seriously like stepping back in time. I know that if we had visited Liseberg on our own, Henry would have reserved some fly-by-night not-hostel but not-hotel for us and we would never would have known the opulence that could have been. I made a whole post that included pictures of our room while we were still there, but I have some more – plus a video! –  that I want to share before all of this gets lost in the insane dump of coaster snaps on my phone that I am still wading through.

Yes, I know, I already posted this picture, but it fits in better here.

Random restroom guardians.

THIS SINK, HENRY CAN WE GET ONE.

This was the fancy Chinese restaurant on the top floor!

Licorice ice cream from the lobby – Tim was actually walking past when we were about to pay and slipped us some extra dining coupons which worked at the hotel ice cream parlor! THANKS, TIM!!

LOBBY UNISEX RESTROOM PIC.

You guys, please understand – when we travel, we stay at very mid-tier (sometimes low-tier, who am I trying to fool – no one’s believing we’re rich lol) establishments so this had me wanting to tap dance down the steps while singing a duet with Daddy Warbucks. This place was god-tier. And the hotel itself told a whole story about a couple who liked to travel around the world collecting cool artifacts and mementoes and then built a hotel to display everything when they ran out of room. Concept lodging, give me more of that.

You better believe we were all sad kids the morning we checked out and moved on to the next location.

I forgot to do the MAP THING on my last post so how were you ever to know where we were?!?! Anyway, here it is. Day 7, we were still in Gothenburg.

Before I get into our second day at Liseberg, here is some important information:

Remember how I said a bunch of times on this wasteland that the roller coaster that turned me into an enthusiast is T-Express in South Korea? Well, fun fact about that coaster: it’s one of only four “pre-fabricated” wooden coasters manufactured by Intamin (one of the best in the game; even if you aren’t an enthusiast, if you have ever ridden VelociCoaster, then you know just how god-tier Intamin can be). The second pre-fab we rode was El Toro at Six Flags Great Adventure, and I was so stoked to cross #3 off the bucket list at Liseberg, home of Balder.

One of the fun facts about Balder is that sometimes the park will let people into a restricted area to sign the wooden supports. Usually city officials, engineers, plus I’ve seen some of the “bigger” coaster YouTubers get to do it. I really didn’t think anything of this though, didn’t even consider that it would be an option, until I started seeing this one guy commenting on nearly every informational post in the Coaster Crew Norden event page.

“Are you going to sign Balder?”

“Can we sign Balder?”

“Will we get to sign Balder?

“Balder, can we sign it?”

I guess it wasn’t just me who was like, “OMG calm down – did Balder ASK for your autograph?” because on our first day at the park, we ran into Tim and several other people from the group and Tim mentioned that while we had ERT on Balder the next night, he wasn’t sure if we could sign it. I guess the park had tightened up their rules because you know how it goes – it only takes one person to ruin it for everyone else and someone / some people had apparently written unsavory things on the supports.

“If we don’t get to sign it, Justin will be furious,” Tim muttered, and we all cracked up because EVERYONE KNEW about his obsession, like he was sleeping with Sharpies under his pillow.

Anyway, at some point that day, Tim made an announcement that the park had graciously changed their mind and anyone who wanted to sign Balder could meet at the park’s entrance after breakfast the next day.

You guys. I didn’t know how much I actually wanted this to happen until right then. This had even become an inside joke with some of my friends at work. I sent Nate a Balder postcard and wrote BUT CAN WE SIGN IT?? on the front. God only knows if he ever got it though because it was with the bundle I gave to Henry to mail. He took it to the front desk and asked if he could mail them there, because some hotels still do that shit even though it’s 2023 and I’m part of the 1% that still hand-writes notes about stuff that no one else would consider worth “writing home about.” Anyway, he said the woman at the front desk acted confused and said she didn’t know, and then took them from him with the famous last words: “I’ll handle it.”

Well, she probably handled them straight into the trash because a bunch of people never got their postcards and I’m certain it was all the ones he handed over that day – WITH NO POSTAGE. That was literally what he was trying to ask her, if he could buy stamps or pay to have the hotel handle. I mean, the hotel in Copenhagen charged him TEN DOLLARS to mail two postcards, so no way in hell any hotel was going to do this service for nothing.

(Not surprisingly, those two postcards made it to the recipients while we were still in Denmark. Henry was like, “Wow that was fast” and I said, “Well, you paid $10 for that speed, so.”

Jesus, I “talk” a lot, even on here. Anyway, breakfast on day 2 was just as exquisite as day 1!

I was so fucking giddy that morning.

The day before, after Chooch and I rode Balder for the first time, we were behind some of those guys up there and I heard one of them mention T-Express so I said, “I love T-Express!” which was Chooch’s cue to eviscerate me with his eyes.

“Oh really?” one of them said.

“Yes, it’s what got me to love roller coasters!” I said enthusiastically. And then, because I don’t know when to stop, I blurted out, “I mean, I always liked roller coasters even before that, but I guess just…moderately.” I wasn’t even haldway through that sentence and was always psychically shoving my foot into my big stupid always-moving mouth.

Chooch said one of them rolled their eyes at me but then said he was kidding but I feel like he wasn’t kidding since he said it in the first place!!!! I AM SUCH AN OLD LADY LOSER DORK UGH.

Mark probably wouldn’t have rolled his eyes at me. :(

Hold on, I’m asking Chooch again for the truth.

Wow, nevermind. Little bitch has his NOTIFICATIONS SILENCED.

SOME VIDEOS because I always want to remember this atmosphere, everyone being in a surreal state, the ethereal Balder music playing in the background…this was one of the best moments of the trip for me, you guys. I got so emotional. I’ve watched so many YouTubers come to Liseberg, watched so many POVs of Balder, and never in a million years did I think that one day I’d get to come to Liseberg and ride it, let alone SIGN MY NAME on it.

YOU GUYS I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL NOW THAT PAM AND I BOTH PUT HEARTS AROUND OUR SIGNATURES!!!

Anyway, we were only allowed to write our name / Coaster Crew / date. I was OK with that!! Otherwise, I might still be there trying to think of what to write or trying to creatively draw over my inevitable mistakes.

I also didn’t realize at the time but we signed near Robb Alvey who is like King Coaster. I feel like most of the coaster YouTubers don’t like him / interact with him. He’s like the OG, possibly the first one to start making coaster content years and years ago, and probably has the most credits out of everyone too. In fact, after I became obsessed with T-Express, his channel was pretty much the only one that had T-Express POVs. Dude has literally been everywhere.

I’m also pretty sure I heard some Coaster Crew members make sounds of disgust when they saw his name lol.

Tim said mine was really pretty!!

Pam took this! When I posted this on Instagram that day, Megan commented on how genuinely happy I looked and it’s so true. You can tell because my smile is real!!

I’m so glad I got to this with this group of people. It was amazing. Tim is amazing, and Liseberg is ESPECIALLY amazing for permitting this to happen. They took such amazing care of us while we were there.

Henry’s thoughts on signing Balder: “It was great. What else do you—it was great, it was a one time….” voice tapers off into oblivion. Guy literally can’t even give me one full sentence.

After Balder-signing, the park opened to the public and guess what time it was?? CAROUSELFIE TIME! Interestingly, only children can it on the horses, so we had to sit in the spinny circle seat.

Us, live on the carousel, guest-starring Chooch’s massive eye roll.

We got in a morning ride on Helix while Henry waited for us at the CHILL FACTORY with a latte. Prissy little bitch.

The station of Valkyria – I honestly have never ridden a dive coaster as much as I rode Valkyria – this one was just that good!!

We left the park around noon in order to go explore Gothenburg for a bit. TO BE CONTINUED.

Welcome back to more Liseberg lovin’. Our dinner that evening was an early one with the group in the park. It was a buffet, but fancy AF.

We sat with Kevin and Pam!

Somehow I didn’t take a single picture of any of the food, but the buffet was actually a vegetarian’s wet dream because one entire table was spilleth over with a wide array of salads – so many salads! Greens, quinoa, pasta. To be honest, I loaded the FUCK up on that and rye breads. And then I hit the dessert section and THE PANCAKE BAR.

Goddamn I miss these perfect pancakes.

This was the lobby of Restaurant 1923.

After dinner, we went back to the hotel to rest for a bit because we had ERT on Helix that night from 11pm-12am and wanted to be able to stay for the whole thing because that coaster was WONDERFUL and we wanted night rides!

We went to the grocery store across from our hotel because Henry needed aspirin probably. I took this opportunity to buy treats.

And Henry bought dumb drinks.

FUCK. I wish I could walk down the street to the local gas station and buy these. Salty licorice, fuck me up.

Went back to the park after about an hour or so and got our kiddie credits. Here are too many pictures of Chooch and me riding both of them. I was pissed because when we were on this dumb little baby coaster, some of the coaster crew picture walked by and stopped to talk to Henry and it was killing me to not know what they were talking about and of course as soon as I ran over to him, panting, and wheezed, “What were Larry and Jean saying to you??” Henry conveniently “forgot.”

Chooch is actually smiling here, genuinely, because I think this was when Jean was also taking pictures of us – someone from Coaster Crew was, anyway!

“I miss those people,” Erin said in a tiny voice. 

This was the only half-past-kiddie more-toward-family coaster that we also rode and actually had to wait in line for it!! It wasn’t too long, maybe 25 minutes, but still. All for a credit.

Nearly every game at the parks we had been visiting on this trip where roulette type of games with giant candy as prizes. I had seen this on various YouTube videos but had no idea how prevalent these games really were. There had to have been at least 20 different booths with all different types of candy prizes. It was nuts. You see people walking around the park with oversized candy packages tucked under their arms like it’s the most natural thing.

Henry and Chooch kept taking turns playing and every time it was Henry’s turn, he would put his coin down on a number other than the one Chooch and I were suggesting, and every time, it was our number that was being landed on. It was infuriating. Henry sabotages us so bad, I goddamn swear.

And then Chooch finally won! Of course I wasn’t recording when the actually “win” happened because this was probably the 27th time he tried and after a while, recording got old. He chose this box of Anthon Berg assorted chocolates and there were actually 4 double-layered boxes inside the big box. We didn’t try any until a few days later, but um….holy shit this was goddamn sensational chocolate, people. We’re from the land of Sarris Chocolate, which is the best American chocolate I have ever had (get your Sees boxed chocolate away from me, please). I don’t want to say I’m a chocolate SNOB, but growing up with Sarris makes you feel a certain sense of expertise when it comes to this shit, you know? So when I say that this Anthon Berg motherfucker has fathered some delectable chocobabies. I’m not exaggerating. This chocolate was divine. I looked it up online and one box is like $35, so I guess this was some good winnins after all. Congrats, Chooch!

He had to lug this enormous box around with him for the rest of the night though, but it made him super popular with our group during Helix ERT later on though, because he was the first person from Coaster Crew to win at any of those games and everyone was EXTREMELY interested. I had to laugh because Judy came over and took an entire box out of it so she could get a better look, lol. (<—added that ‘lol’ in case you forgot that I started the sentence with “I had to laugh.” #writing) No boundaries with Coaster Crew!

<3!! I can’t remember if it was Tim or Austin who took this. It was right before Helix ERT was about to start and we were trying to get one last ride on Lisebergbanan – this coaster gave me supreme giggle fits so bad! Made me want to holler obscure thoughts into the ether.

So creepy being here after the park was closed to the public!

Helix ERT was so chaotic and hilarious! The constant switching seats, switching ride partners, screaming, shivering because that second launch at night was FREEZING, riding with PAM!, laughing at Pam for screaming ‘I feel the need for speed!’, riding in the front row with Larry!, Henry actually lasting the entire hour of marathoning, Chooch riding with pretty much everyone BUT us until the very end when I caught him getting into an empty row and managed to slide in next to him much to his chagrin!

Just thinking back to this night…I’m smiling so hard but also on the verge of tears. This was one of the best moments. I never want to forget this!

OMG I couldn’t imagine going to sleep after this because of the adrenaline, yet somehow….some way….we trudged back to the hotel as a group and I was barely able to get through washing my face and taking out my contacts before fully passing out in bed.

Here’s Johny’s POV! It’s a 360 degree video so you can move it and see Chooch sitting next to him – Chooch was like, “Oh great. I didn’t realize his camera could do that. Fuck, I rode with him on a lot of things, too…”

The next day was day 2 at Liseberg, but we also skipped out for a bit in the afternoon and explored Gothenburg so you know, look forward to that post I guess?!

Please bear with me. The next park I’m going to be recapping was one of the most beautiful, epic, and magical parks I have ever been to. I think Liseberg was unanimously everyone’s favorite park on the trip and with good, valid reasons.

We spent two full days here, stayed on site at the park’s majestic and BRAND NEW Hotel Curiosa, while also carving out time to explore Gothenburg. (Spoiler: if I wasn’t already betrothed to Seoul, I’d consider marrying Gothenburg.)

Our first full day in Gothenburg started with coffee in the room:

And just because this was in my camera roll, I’m including it here so everyone will know that this was the ONLY bev I had during the entire trip that I 100% did not like an would never get again. In hindsight, it really does sound fucking disgusting so I dunno why I thought I would like it. Also, we very quickly learned that PEAR is like the national fruit of Sweden. Everything is pear-flavored! I’m not mad about that (so long as caramel sits the fuck down). I had so many wonderful pear dranks, but this sadly WAS NOT ONE.

ANOTHER breakfast buffet to write home about (and I might have literally done so in at least one postcard but sadly the postcards that were mailed from this hotel have not seemed to have reached their recipients as of yet…).

It has been a huge adjustment being back in America and staying in cheap hotels that offer instant oatmeal and packaged Danishes as their free breakfast. That Coaster Crew Life really had me thinking I was Rich Kid Erin again. Th bread table alone had me feeling like the Power of Carb was compelling me to kneel in front of it like it was a goddamn altar.

And don’t get me started on the FIKA SECTION. Dessert after breakfast? MM YES, THANK YOU.

The cake portions were so gigantic, even for this little piggy. Patricia was behind me in line and offered to split a piece of carrot cake with me when I was openly whining about it being too big (mostly because I wanted room for other desserts  too, thanks) because that’s what Coaster Crew is all about you guys. It’s a team sport, really.

Getting our wristbands and meal vouchers. As I go back and edit these pictures, especially the ones like this one that feature so many of our coaster friends, my heart does some weird things.

For early entry, we all booked it to Luna, the park’s brand new family boomerang, because these types of rides are one-train ops by design so the lines can get long.

August asked Henry if he could ride with him and Henry was so smug about it. Bro, he doesn’t think you’re cool! He just wanted to sit as close to the back row as possible, probably!

Anyway, this was a fine ride for what it is! Smooth, pleasant, offered some seriously divine views of the park.

There were a couple of flat rides in that upper area that were also running for early entry but we had to wait a few more minutes for the rest of the park to open before getting to dig in to the rest of the coasters.

When I say this is one of the most beautiful amusement parks I’ve ever been to, please believe that I’m not being hyperbolic. I had watched so many videos on this park fore the last several years but it did NOT prepare me for this. I loved that the part of the park was on a hill, with various ways to access it – steps, ramps, escalators, elevators. So many of the rides were built into the terrain and it was incredible to see the absolute tangle of tracks and realizing that it belonged to three separate coasters AND a log flume.

(MICHAEL JACKSON RODE THAT LOG FLUME! I heard someone say it – Justin probably – and that info nug was firmly inserted into my brain so I kept reiterating it over and over, and yes we did eventually ride it!)

Chooch being annoyed and acting so put-out that he had to wait like a peasant for the rest of the park to open like the GP (general population).

OK WHAT HAPPENED NEXT THOUGH WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS OF THE WHOLE FUCKING TRIP: The ropes were dropped and we all ran like morons to the nearest coaster – Valkyria, the park’s B&M dive coaster. However, as soon as we ran up the steps into the beginning of the queue, there was a big sign that said NO BAGS were permitted, only small items that could be put in a bin. Chooch and I turned around, saw that Henry had caught up and was lumbering up the steps, and tossed our stuff at him.

“HERE, HOLD THIS BYE!” we cried and ran back into the queue like giddy hyenas. All of the COOL YOUNG GUYS were with us when this happened and they ALL had bags so they were groaning about having to get a locker. Henry, desperate to be cool and probably still running on the high that he got from August asking to ride with him, offered to hold all of their stuff since he couldn’t ride anyway thanks to us being assholes.

Chooch and I didn’t know this was happening at first until they all came running back into the queue, yelling, “THANKS, DADDY!” and one of the guys, Hunter I think, said, “Your dad just offered to hold all of our stuff!”

“That’s why we bring him,” I said cheerfully.

“Oh my god,” Hunter said, laughing.

Also? This was the best dive coaster I’ve ever ridden! (Also it was only my fifth, but still!) I’m not usually a fan of these, but this one had great station theming, a fun layout, the drop went into a smoke-filled tunnel, and the view of the park from the top of the lift hill was just such a vibe.

Baggage claim. I think these were the last two to retrieve their things, so I didn’t get a chance to take a picture of Henry with the whole mound of belongings.

The queue for Helix, which would end up being one of my top 5 favorite coasters of the trip. More on that in the next post!

Kiddieland!

Again, every single park had the loveliest restrooms! Here in the US, you go into a restroom and you have to play the “look for feet under the stall door” game most of the time to see if there are any vacancies. I hate it! Please give Americans floor-to-ceiling doors! I have never felt more comfortable in public restrooms than I had in Scandinavia and Finland.

Chooch and I rode this adorable boat ride that had something to do with gardens, maybe?

OK look. Liseberg is home to Helix and Balder, but WAS THEIR MINE TRAIN MY FAVORITE COASTER OF THE PARK?? It was definitely the sleeper  hit amongst everyone in our group, that’s for sure. Lisebergbanan, you were (Liseberg)bananas. First of all, this coaster is 100% built along the hillside. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that intense, and it *is* a family coaster after all, but H O L Y S H I T this fucker was so much fun and had me giggling my face off every single time. I think, aside from Balder and Helix which we had ERT on, we probably rode this the most out of everything. I just couldn’t stay away! And with Liseberg’s app, they give you so many opportunities to reserve ride times so you can skip the line, and we pretty much used it for this every time.

Although honestly,  the park wasn’t very crowded so even without using it, the most we waited for anything was probably around 30 minutes.

View from Lisebergbanan’s queue.

You can see Henry in the reflection!

Looks like it’s going to be your basic family coaster. BUT IT IS SO GOOD.

This section of the park was sooo cool and had the best restaurants. We ate at that first one a bit later. What does that say, Skeppsmagasinet??

A darkride about rabbits! The queue was adorable so I didn’t mind that we had to wait for about 20 minutes for a kids ride.

Never pass up a photo op with a mascot!!

OK back to that place for lunch. Chooch and I both had bbq seitan which was DELECTABLE but for me, the real show stealer here was the FRENCH FRIES. Definitely the best goddamn fries I’ve had in quite some time. They were cooked perfectly – the kind of greasy crisp that melts in your mouth. Ugh, this is painful. That picture is causing a flash flood in my mouth. Would I request this for my last meal? I DUNNO, MAYBE??

I think I took this by accident, but it’s the queue line for the HAUNTED WALK-THRU. It was pretty decent. Almost immediately when we came out of it, we ran into Kevin and Pam and Chooch of course was like, “PAM YOU SHOULD GO IN THIS, IT’S DEFINITELY NOT A HAUNTED HOUSE AND THERE ARE DEFINITELY NOT CLOWNS” and she was like, “OK, do you guys want to go in again with us?”

So that’s how we ended up going through a second time with Pam slowing us down and screaming every 2 seconds.

The haunt was really fun though, great theming and some genuine live-actor scares.

We rode the famous log flume on this day too and it was pretty effing incredible. You start out on the main level and the first hill takes you all the way to the top of the hill, where you then proceed to interact with Luna, Helix, and Lisebergbanan. What an incredible log flume, and they even squeegee it for you before you get on!

Rumor has it that it’s going to be removed and, unless the park has no choice but to remove it because of age/deterioration/end of its ride cycle, I really hope that this isn’t true. This is hands down, without there being theming, one of the best log flumes I’ve ever been on for sheer atmosphere and views alone.

Here you can see two Lisebergbanan trains in action.

The author of Pippi Longstocking! She’s also on the 20 kronor bill which I made Henry keep so I could have it as a souvenir,

I dunno any of these people because I’m not current on Swedish pop culture, but I thought these hand/feet prints were really cute and fun!

Here we are waiting for dinner.

DINNER CLIFFHANGER.  Once I get too close to 2000 words in one post, I start to get the shakes. Check back later for the rest of day one at Liseberg.

This is a great video of our day at Tusenfryd! You can see Henry on the escalator, my serving side eye around the 3:00 minute mark, Chooch riding Teeny Weeny…it was a great park! And Airtime Thrills is one of the best coaster YouTubers out there – we were so lucky to be on the same trip as him, even though I was sincerely trying to dodge his camera every day but that’s mostly because I didn’t want to ruin his vlogs with my extreme resting bitch face. You’re welcome, Chris.

I still haven’t had a chance to sort through my pictures of the next park we went to, but this post was from later this night when we arrived in Gothenburg so maybe click the link if you missed this one and want to feel irritated at my refusal to post things in order. :D

Let’s start this recap off with some lunch talk. First of all, OK Norway, I see you with your not-Surge! This actually was moderately triggering because I have a partially blacked-out memory of having a HUGE blow out fight with Psycho Mike in Mingo Park over Surge. Janna – you were there. If you’re reading this, COMMENT DOWN BELOW.

Lol.

Anyway, I was pretty embarrassed at this place because Henry barged in and started piling things on a plate from the salad bar BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PAY FIRST. Way to constantly be an exemplary posterchild for ‘murrica, Henry. Ugh.

I was so over Henry by this point (I think it was actually the only rough patch of the day, because you know and I know that there were no fully smooth days on this trip as long as Henry was around, haha) but then our food came and I was like, “Oh wow, look at that – I guess I was just hungry.”

This pasta was DELICIOUS! Seriously, European amusement park is quality. These mushrooms tasted like they were foraged from the mountains surrounding the park, I swear to god. It was heavenly. I could have licked the plate.

(Oh yeah, we sat with Kevin and Pam! They were probably making hostage eyes to each other from across the table, like “Hey, how we gonna shake this annoying family? It’s been an hour.”)

After lunch, some BLUE SKY started to peek out from behind the fluffy Norwegian clouds!

(WE WERE IN NORWAY. HOW.)

A troll trail!!

Hnnnng.

Actual troll under the bridge!

Oh man, I loved it.

Came back for a bunch of afternoon rides on Storm. Total walk-on every time. I felt like Chooch and I had a bonding moment with Hunter over our shared love for the backrow on this one. Anytime any guy from that Cool Kid Group acknowledged my presence, I felt so validated. (See also: I’m a sad person.)

Preparing for dorm life.

SKY!!!

SKY AGAIN!!

WOULDYA LOOK AT THAT SKY?? AND THE NORWEGIAN FOREST??

Anyway, Henry and I rode this earlier while Chooch hung back with Pam and Kevin because HE HAD ALREADY RIDDEN IT during his Tusenfryd Orphan Era. It was a fine ride and all but what I want to remember is the young ride attendant who was so happy to talk to us about English thangs and I loved it because I too wanted to talk to HER about Norwegian thangs, primarily: HOW EFFING BEAUTIFUL IT WAS THERE, so beautiful that it did not matter to me one bit that the day started off gray and rainy, and that it was still chilly even with the sun out.

Because, Norway, you guys. Get me back there, STAT. I need to take a walk in the forest.

Our one and only Norwegian #carouselfie!

I was ready for some after-lunch ice cream. As we were walking over to the ice cream place though, Pam called out to us from an outdoor cafe table and said that the word on the street was that the kiddie coaster was running. Chooch was like, “Peace out” and ran over to get that elusive credit because:

• it’s known for being the smallest coaster in the world (it didn’t seem any smaller than a lot of other kiddie coasters I’ve seen though but I’ll take the thoosies’ word for it);
• it absolutely won’t run in the rain.

I was too busy enjoying my ice cream with crunchy strawberry things. I think actually it was bits of real dehydrated strawberry? It was so wonderful – so far, Denmark and Norway were killing the ice cream topping game. I STILL think about the Danish pastel sprinkles!!

We meandered over to the little coaster to spectate the madness. Look at all these grown-ass adults in line – I FUCKING LOVE IT. The great thing about our group was that every time an actual kid would get in line, everyone would go, “KID COMING THROUGH!” and they’d let the actual kid cut all the way through to the front. That’s awesome. I love that.

Apparently, it was Jean who first noticed that this was testing, so she sent out a CODE RED on Facebook and word spread from there. Someone posted a picture of it later that day and the caption was “teenie weenie thanks to Jeannie” lol. I think the coaster is literally called “The Smallest One” haha.

Chooch rode with Johnny and apparently only two adults could ride at a time, lol. After Chooch rode, it started to rain just a bit harder than a drizzle and there were still Coaster Crew people in line! It was almost devastating for them but the girl operating it made a call and got the OK to get it running for our group. Iconic. Legendary. Love to see it.

What other obnoxious things can I say about that.

I’m too tired.

This was one of the best rapids ride I’ve ever experienced – it had this awesome serpentine whirlpool feature that was insane. The theming on every rapids ride we did on this trip was CHEF’S KISS.

Yeah, this place was adorable. Before we left, we went to the candy shop and filled a bag with so much candy. I loaded it with a variety of licorice, much to Henry and Chooch’s chagrin, and that bag lasted me until we got home to Pittsburgh (I THINK??). When I tell you I miss that licorice. Shoooo.

Freaking iconic. What a day.

After this, we made the drive back down to Gothenburg and I didn’t know it then, but that place. The city, the hotel, the park. All of it. It’s imprinted on my big dumb heart. I’m so excited to start those recaps!

My crude guesstimate of the route our overnight busride took. 

Guys. Before we start talking about Tusenfryd, the only park we’d be visiting in Norway, can I please tell you about how I woke up at one point on the overnight bus trip and the wind was blowing so violently that the bus was slowly rocking side to side. It was horrific. All I kept thinking was, “Is this how I die? When people kept sending me news articles about roller coaster deaths, I’m going to die on the upper level of a doubledecker bus somewhere in….where am I?!”

I couldn’t see much out the window. I’m wondering if this was when we were going over the bridge to Sweden?? Because I woke up at another point too and I believe it was a border check?? I vaguely remember looking out the window, noting that we were pulled over, and seeing at least one person in uniform walking over and presumably getting onto our bus.

Another time I woke up, it was around 4:00AM and we were parked in front of the CURIOSA HOTEL in Gothenburg, dropping off the handful of people who voted against the overnight bus ride. I was kind of confused because at that point, we had like 4 hours left so why not just stay? I guess it was more of the fact that they weren’t into sleeping on a bus, not showering, and then spending a whole day at a park. I guess I get it.

But we paid for this trip with Norway on the itinerary, so if we had to drag our asses through a park wearing the same clothes as the day before, well, that’s what we were going to do. (Actually, I was already wearing layers the day before, so I came prepared with a different top layer to change into – GIRL SCOUT 4L.)

So yeah, if you’re wondering why it’s the next day and most everyone else is dressed the same, well, now you know.

Our grand introduction to Norway was rolling up to a gas station in the morning, everyone lining up for the bathroom, grabbing gas station foods for breakfast (our first skoleboller was purchased here and even though it was from a gas station, it was DELICIOSO – a custard bun rimmed with coconut flakes?? more please), and then brushing our teeth as a group in the parking lot.

It might not have been glamorous, but it was a goddamn adventure!

Got to Tusenfryd around 8:ooAM. This entrance is so iconic! In the background, you can see the famous Norwegian loop, and element on the Intamin launch coaster, Speed Monster, which was the first of its kind. There are only two other coasters in the world with this element and I have been on all of them! Fahrenheit at Hershey, and Helix at Liseberg in Sweden. This is very thrilling to me for some reason. Probably because I am a very empty person who will latch on the smallest things to feel full, lol. That’s me.

Of course, the park wasn’t open to the public yet, but we had two wonderful Tusenfryd representatives taking care of us. That thumbs-up man unlocked the restrooms for us, and the woman was SO FUCKING SWEET and totally excited to give us a VIP tour before the public arrived.

Snagged this from Coaster Crew’s IG story. We’re missing some people who were in the bathroom though! I made damn sure I was around for EVERY GROUP PICTURE.

I think I got this from the event FB page. I love that I’m nowhere near Henry and Chooch in either picture, lol.

The first thing that happened was we got ERT on the park’s brand new launch coaster, Storm: Dragon Legend. The really cool thing is that they did a double launch for us, meaning each train was cycled through twice so when it came back into the station, it RELAUNCHED which was so crazy! They don’t run it like this regularly, so this was just another “I can’t believe I’m here, doing this cool thing with these amazing people” moment.

Either Larry or Jean took this!

I honestly think this may have been my favorite coaster on the trip. You get launched forward, roll back into a backward launch, and then launch forward again at an even greater acceleration before basically getting your face ripped off on the rest of the layout. And then with the double-launch, you come barrelling back into the station and launch forward AGAIN and go through the whole layout a second time. What an amazing experience!! I definitely liked this the best in the back, later on in the day after it warmed up – the backward launch practically left you completely inverted in the backseat. It was so incredibly intense! Chooch still maintained that he liked the front seat better, and I definitely can understand that too. This coaster honestly blew me away.

Chooch in the backrow with Sam – I love that he made his own friends on this trip.

Next, our awesome Tusenfryd host walked us over the Speed Monster, where we got to walk around the infield and go instead the engine room, which was a REALLY BIG DEAL for the true thoosies.

Chooch never waits for us.

Then we just walked right into the station from the employee entrance and got on! Here’s Chooch riding with Debbie! I think this might have been the first train of the day.

I ended up liking this more later in the day when we re-rode it.

After that, the park was officially open for the general public, but it never got crowded. Probably because it was still drizzly and dreary but!! It ended up being a beautiful day after a few hours. We actually to SEE THE SUN. I don’t think we had seen the sun and blue skies since Bakken and Tivoli Gardens back on Day 1! Storm Hans really did a lot of damage over those few days. I watched some news footage on YouTube after we came home and it is actually amazing that the worst we personally had seen was the gale force winds at Farup Sommerland. That storm ripped through parts of Norway, Denmark, and Sweden and was apparently the worst storm the region had seen in over two decades.

More pictures of Chooch being a Coaster Crew orphan.

I vividly remember having SUPER BAD CRAMPS around this time and wanting to curl up in a bathroom stall and die. Luckily, Henry the Pharmacy had Ibuprofen or something and I ended up being OK so pretty much this was the end of the period saga. I had like 87 tampons in my purse and zero accidents happened on my watch. MMKAY.

This coaster was actually terrible. I should note that around this time, we “lost” Chooch. Not really, but we were all in line for the park’s spinning coaster and it broke down. A bunch of us didn’t want to wait, but Chooch opted to stay with some others from our crew. We rode this wooden coaster with Robert and Dawn and I was not a fan. Henry was not a fan. I don’t think Dawn was a fan. But Robert was WOO HOOING to the high heavens. He said he loves rough coasters! I really thought my spine was misaligned after that.

FUN FACT though: People say that the first part of this reminds them of a wooden Phantom’s Revenge because the first drop angles down to the right like Phantom, and then there is another drop right after, similar to Phantom’s as well. I didn’t even realize that because I was too busy having my brain jackhammered out of my head.

This park WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. Even in the drizzle, everything was just so lush and vivid. I need to go back to Norway for real, and soon.

We eventually reunited with Chooch who recounted all of the people he rode with on various rides without us and I had so much FOMO because there I was, stuck with Henry. But then something amazing happened! We ran into Pam and Kevin and rode Thor’s Hammer with them!!

It’s a 3D dark ride and honestly, none of us knew what was going on because, Norwegian, but it was so much fun and of course I had to purchase the souvenir picture! Pam is covering her face because this was a scene with SNAKES and Pam hates SNAKES. If there is one thing I’m great at, it’s instantly retaining the things that people hate, like some fucked up savant, and then using these things later on to fuck with that person.

(Although, I did find out later from Kevin that she hates snakes because her mom was bit by one!!)

OK, I need to end here because Henry is being a baby and wants to sit with me but apparently I’M REALLY MEAN WHEN I’M BLOGGING. So they say.

I’m really having a great time reliving these moments but it’s making my heart feel like it’s on fire. :( Especially because after Tusenfryd comes Liseberg and I had the best time at that park, and in Gothenburg in general. I still can’t believe most of this trip was real. I am so fucking broke now because of it, yet I FEEL SO RICH.

This just in: Jean had taken this picture of us on the Bat crazy mouse and sent it to Chooch on Facebook. He only just now felt inclined to share it with me. :/ Some things to note that I may have forgotten:

• this was one of the most intense crazy mouses I’ve been on! We spun so hard and I thought I was going to die the whole time. It was great. I couldn’t stop screaming my dumb face off!
• this was Jean’s 1000th coaster!

Man. Now I’m really missing Jean and Larry. I hope we get to hang out with them sometime again! Larry messaged Chooch the other day and told him that he and Jean went to Cedar Point and saw Alex from Coaster Spot and it gave me the most physical tug of FOMO I think I have ever had! I want to see my Coaster Crew friends out in the wild in the US!!

Also, just for context, check out the wind:

So, I believe the first thing that happened after lunch was that I popped into the restroom and discovered that my period had started. No big deal, right? I’ll just reach into my LUGGAGE THAT IS STORED AWAY ON THE BUS AND GRAB ONE OF THE COPIUS AMOUNTS OF TAMPONS I BROUGHT.

Yeah, I had none on me and I had no access to my luggage. The bathrooms didn’t have tampon/pad dispensers and none of the gift shops could help a bleeding bitch out. The one cashier told me I would have to GO INTO TOWN AND GET SOME.

Let me remind you that this was the day we would be doing the OVERNIGHT BUS RIDE. Yeah, there was no hotel for the night. Once we left the park, we were ON THE BUS for all of perpetuity it seemed.

My one saving grace was that the hotel from the night before was on park property and we were able to go back to it without actually leaving the park. I was so worried though because we had obviously checked out, but when I tentatively approached the lady at the front desk (I walked past the young guy who came to help me first, LOL, omg men don’t know about periods, etc etc), she pulled out a big tupperware container of assorted pads and tampons and told me to take what I needed.

I took the most super-duper absorbency tampon they had plus a pad for extra protection because I wasn’t sure when we would be stopping and if procuring FEMININE PRODUCTS would be an option. First of all, definitely should have taken more but I wasn’t trying to be a greedy American. Oh, I am such a martyr. “No! Don’t worry about me! I’ll just bleed out all over the bus, please save those for someone who needs it more than me.”

I fucking hate myself.

There was a rumor that we were going to stop at a Lidl on our drive back to Copenhagen and I was so married to this idea, like I threw myself into it so hard, had a dowry to offer and everything. Lidl of GTFO! I kept casually mentioning to people too, like, “So, I heard we might stop at a Lidl…..DO YOU THINK THAT IS TRUE.” And everyone (OK by everyone I think it was just Pam and Cassie who had to yield my Lidl queries) was like, “I don’t know, maybe?”

Of course you’re probably wondering why I didn’t just ask one of the women if they had anything on hand to assist a fellow woman in her monthly time of need, and you know….great question, lol. I don’t think I considered this!?!? Also, and not to be presumptuous, but most of the women on the trip appeared to be much older than me so I’m not sure if,  you know….?? And two of the three that appeared to be younger than me were not approachable, as we’ve already discussed. So yeah, if you were wondering what was going on with me particularly in the late afternoon and evening of this date, it was just me obsessing over, you know, making a mess.

We thought this was just a random pirate ship but apparently, you could actually walk onto it! We’d discover that in a bit.

Yet another Danish fun house!

I have so many regrets. I should have got a Skum Fest!!

OK, we almost didn’t do this  maze because it didn’t seem that involved but holy shit, I’m glad we did because GUESS WHAT? On the other side of it was the entrance to a ROPES COURSE! American amusement parks need to have these!! Knoebels, get a fucking ropes course!

I must have taken this picture of a grassy rooftop while Chooch and I were still in the middle of the ropes course. (Henry conveniently left to go to the bathroom right when we started, what a lame-o.) I want to say that it took us almost an hour to complete. There were some things I couldn’t do, not even because of age or unathleticism, but because I have a fear of heights. I actually got stuck in one clubhouse-type thing because I was too afraid to climb down the ladder so I had to backtrack and literally almost cried about it.

This was how we ended up on the pirate ship though!

I really wish I could describe to you how amazing this entire course was. Luckily because of the weather, we had the whole thing to ourselves so I didn’t have to worry about children heckling me. My hands had rope burns on them, though! I really felt like I went through it, you know? But I came out the other side like, look at me now bitches.

The exit of the course brought us right into a gift shop / snack bar because of course it did. Chooch got ice cream and Henry and I shared these adorable waffles:

OMG it was so delicious and I wish I had gotten it just for myself, honestly.

Chooch also got a certificate for completing the course! I took it back over to the little podium where the pens were so that I could add my name to it and the one girl who hates me was just coming out of the course exit too. I tried to bond with her over it by exhaling dramatically and saying, “Wow, I thought that was course was going to kill me a few times!” She just looked through me like she always did and snippily said, “No, I thought it was so much fun.”

WHEN DID I SAY IT WASN’T FUN THOUGH.

*(Please note that somehow, even though Chooch stole my hair elastic to keep his diploma rolled up, it somehow failed to make it home with us. WHERE DID IT GO?? Probably in our room in Helsinki. And now, a garbage dump.)

Whatever. Then Jean, Larry, Robert, and Dawn came in and I was like, “Yay, people who actually like me.” LOL. I want to say I’m being paranoid but every time I would say, “That person who hates me,” Chooch would say, “Which person, there’s more than one.” UGH. Oof. I’m officially too old for that generation to give a shit about me, I guess!

Farup Appreciation.

LOGS!!

The really busy station for Saven.

More logs!

I dunno if Farup does a Halloween haunt but I think they could just do Camp Crystal Lake and call it day.

(I’m listening to horror movie themes – a normal thing for me no matter the season, it’s one of my preferred background soundtracks – and Friday the 13th came on right when I typed that!!)

Um. This is one of the coasters we didn’t get to ride and I was very bummed about it but some of those hardcore thoosies MIGHT have cried. I cannot confirm nor deny. Fonix was one of the most anticipated coasters for pretty much everyone, so getting to stand that close to it while not riding it was torture.

:(:(:(

I’d also like to add that we went to the main gift shop where I outed myself to the cashier as a menstruating woman oh noes three separate times. It was actually pretty comical because she kept looking at us like we were planning to stage a coup or something. No one could possibly find three separate reasons to keep coming back. Well, have you met us?? I think the last time we went was right before we were leaving and Chooch wanted to get a pair of socks because his were wet. I dunno. I just remember him buying socks and me trying to help one of the guys from our crew find the magnets but he was terrible at following my directions so I had to walk over and actually point them out to him. Then I don’t think he even bought one after that!! And they had a decent selection too, which was nice since a lot of these European parks are like “fuck merch! buy these generic toys and dish towels and instead! no, our logo is NOT on them, thank you!”

We had a tiny bit of time to kill before we could get back on the bus (and who was in a hurry, really? Our asses were about to have 13 hours or so getting acquainted with the bus seats) so we got some drinks and snacks at the cafe by the entrance. Pam and Kevin were there! So of course we sat with them. My favorite moment possibly of the whole day was when Henry came back to the table with a croissant and Chooch and I lunged across the table to rip pieces off for ourselves before Henry even had a chance to sit down.

Kevin, observing this, asked drily, “Did you know that you were buying a family croissant there, Henry?”

I died. The execution was flawless.

LOL it’s a good thing that Chooch straight up never reads my blog because he would hate this picture.

Anyway, Pam told me that the girl working at the cafe told her that all of the pictures on the wall are of people that came to Farup over the years, who sent their pictures to the owner of the cafe. She’s been collecting and displaying them for years, which I thought was so amazing! SHOULD I SEND HER A PICTURE OF US??? THIS ONE^^^, MAYBE??

Here’s the main entrance, which we didn’t get to see until we left, since we entered through the resort entrance.

Windmill.

Driving over a bridge in the windstorm (I’m so glad that I was taking shitty video from the bus window because I like that you can hear the people on the bus talking, sigh):

After we got on the bus, Tim came upstairs and asked if anyone needed a pillow, because he was going to try to stop at an Ikea. I think most of us raised our hands, so we actually stopped at an Ikea and Tim, bless his heart, bought all of us a black-and-white accent pillow that I of course kept as souvenirs – they’re on the couch in the attic game room as I write this!

Ikea was fine. I was really starting to stress out over my tampon situation so didn’t really have much of an appetite, but then felt like I needed to eat something anyway, and it was just chaos inside my head. It was funny though, 70 Americans (plus one Brit and Australian I think??) walking into Ikea moments before the cafeteria was closing. People were looking on in horror!

Chooch and I got vegan meatballs and they had to be TAKEN OUT OF A FREEZER and cooked from scratch basically, so we were the only people still standing there even after the cafeteria closed. I was so antsy because I didn’t know how long we were going to be here and what if we ended up holding up the bus???

We didn’t. It was fine. There were plenty of people who got to back to the bus well after we did!

I did run to the bathroom though before we left to check my sitch. I was still doing fine but I was hoping that there would have been a tampon dispenser in the Ikea bathroom at least. NO. NONE.

It didn’t occur to me to check the Ikea marketplace but I don’t think I would have found any there?!

I will end by saying that WE DID NOT STOP AT LIDL so I had to wait until we reached the bus driver switch-off point in Copenghagen, around 11:00PM, to fucking SPRINT across the parking lot of wherever the hell we were and snatch a FULL-SIZED BOX of tampons from the bottom shelf of a gas station – I almost didn’t even see them and thought, “This is it. This is where I become known as the broad who stained her bus seat red.” Then I flew down the steps with the box under my arm like I was a fucking quarterback for the Blood Stains and literally let out the BIGGEST exhale of my life as I shut the stall door behind me. Dude, I had *just* made it. Like, JUST MADE IT. All I can say is thank god for the absorbancy of that pad, if you KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Henry knows what I mean because I spare no detail about these things when it comes to him, and he loves me so much for that. #GIRLTALK

Anyway, I was able to sleep after this. The next post will be NORWAY!

View from the back patio of our hotel.

Somehow, this is only DAY FOUR?!

We woke up this morning (Tuesday, August 8th) after a crazy night with seriously gnarly wind whipping at our windows with little reprieve. I honestly was kind of wondering if the park was even going to open at all. It was honestly THAT WINDY.

We had another delicious breakfast buffet because Denmark be feeding us proper-like. I had to laugh because this one guy in our group was always asking people, “Do you want to know who I would cast as [x] in my movie about [z]??” and it was always something so totally random, like he actually spent time contemplating writing an imaginary dream movie about these coaster podcaster/YouTubers called In the Loop.

Anyway, on his way back to the table after getting a juice refill, Chooch said he overheard him saying about how was eating carbs and his mom would be happy or something. So, in full-on character, Chooch says to us excitedly, “Guess who I would cast as a Carbohydrate in my movie about Nutrition??”

This is something that I think about daily. It seriously made me laugh so hard, my stomach hurt!

Chooch purposely wouldn’t let me stand next to the squirrel. :(

And yes, Chooch was still wearing shorts and t-shirts. And no, he wouldn’t let us buy him a hoodie or sweatshirt in the gift shop (but he DID go for a blanket which he used on the bus and plane for the rest of the trip like the little bitch baby that he is).

PAM!

Oh! This was around the time Pam found out that Chooch and I were trying to start a rumor that she didn’t like Henry, LOL. She said, “Oh, you guys! Poor Henry!”

When I say I miss Pam…

The back of our hotel! I imagine the front must look similar but it was dark when we arrived the night before and everyone was trying to hustle inside before what felt like a tornado swept us away.

Somehow, someway, the park was open. 4 of the 7 coasters were running. Unfortunately for us, the three that WEREN’T running were really good ones that we were all stoked for, especially Fonix. But…you can’t control the weather and we all seemed to still be in good spirits! I mean, looking back on this day, I can’t even remember fighting with Henry and/or Chooch the whole time, so I guess Farup was pumping positive energy into us.

I can’t believe this was running! There were moments where the wind was so forceful that it felt like the train wasn’t going to make the full rotation. I’m sure this was a fun coaster (we’ve ridden the clone at Dollywood) but all I remember is THE WIND.

But this park though! Even on a dreary day, it still had summer camp charm. I think this is the second time at least that I have referenced summer camp in relation to this vacation when I have never been to summer camp. In fact, the most camp-y thing I have ever done was Girl Scouts day camp which lasted for a week five minutes from my house but I still hated every single minute of it. What did we even do?? Play fucking hand jives?!

Actually, that sounds accurate.

OMG this wild mouse was so insane! First of all, the maintenance guys had to keep coming out to push some of the cars up onto the lift hill because they weren’t catching or something?! The more knowledgeable men on trip knew what was going on and were giddily filming it but I was just like, “OK that’s cool but I hope we get to ride this before they decide this is too much work and shut ‘er down.”

FUCK MALTER!! WHAT AN HONEST TO GOD COCK KNOW, AMIRITE.

Part of Saven, the family boomerang – it was fun and family-ish!

Look – I was happy because as dreary as it looked, it didn’t rain more than the occasional drizzle all day, and it was somehow less cold than the day before. I mean, yeah I was still chilly, but I had THREE LAYERS on this time and thicker socks too I think. I was golden. Just happy to be in Denmark!

Hundebar! YOU GUYS, A DOG BAR!! Obviously, there were no dogs there that night because aside from our group….there wasn’t really anyone else there now that I think about it, lol. Maybe like 20 or 30 non-Coaster Crew people, tops?? And I imagine those were hotel guests and not people who went out of their way to be there in GALE FORCE WINDS. I think this was my first time experiencing this level of air viciousness and it was really something else.

I miss Denmark bathrooms so much! And I miss grassy rooftops!

I’ve seen videos of Farup when the weather is better and this is actually a free perk and not an upcharge! In America, you would be paying extra for sure. There isn’t even an attendant, you just handle your own canoeing shit like a grown-ass capable human, and everyone moves on with their day.

Denmark moss! I can’t wait for Alyson to see this. We have an inside joke about Henry and his FURY FOR MOSS that has lasted nearly 20 years! Actually, it’s not really that much of an inside joke because I had written in my livejournal one time that Henry was absolutely savage one day at the cemetery about how MOSS IS BAD, LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Wow, someone got some moss up his ass while serving the U.S.A. it sounds like.

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE AN AMUSEMENT PARK?! It was so beautiful even on this overcast day. Just imagine it with blue skies and sunshine. Jesus.

HENRY NEVER SMILES WHEN IT’S HIS TURN TO TAKE THE #CAROUSELFIE

Lol, he was sitting on this little motorcycle thing.

Again with the woodland theming and the adorable little forest critters! Did I tell you that I didn’t see one single squirrel in Denmark?? Henry said he actually saw one here in Farup but by the time he tried to show me, the squirrel had already disappeared into a mass of trees.

Basically you guys, we got our 4 coaster creds within an hour. In addition to the ones I mentioned, there was also a kiddie coaster which sent us around three times and I majorly jammed up my shoulder on two of those laps and then tried to tell some girl about it when we exited, you know, just a “hey heads up, watch yourself when it goes around that bend over there” and she was like, “MMmm.” Don’t even get me started. Chooch loved how much she hated me though. And then were some mine train coaster that the ride op was like, “DO YOU WANT TO AGAIN” and Henry said NO at the same Chooch and I said, “Yeah sure, wooo!”

Then it was lunch time! We were like 2 minutes early but I could see people moving around inside, and for some reason we thought the doors to the pizza buffet were just “normal closed” but after we pried them open and walked in, we quickly realized that the doors were actually “we’re not ready for patrons closed” and the people I saw inside were actually employees, one of whom came jogging over and (politely) shooed us out, lol. OOPS.

As we walked back outside, the girl that I tried to befriend at the park the day before approached. I started to tell her that they actually weren’t ready for us yet and wanted to tell her about how we fucked around and found out, but she FUCKING SWERVED ON ME. You guys, I have NEVER had someone actually that blatantly desperate to not talk to me that they actually physically SWERVED and walked away in another direction. Wow. That was. Wow.

But it was fine, because then another group from Coaster Crew came over to wait with us and it was actually my first time talking to them and they were very very very nice. (Future Erin, because your memory is probably rotting by now: It was Aly and Brandon.)

Lunch with the group was a pizza buffet and holy shit, remember how when I was writing about Tivoli Friheden I mentioned that the pizza had some kind of thinly-sliced parsnip or turnip, some sort of NIP!? Well, this pizza had it too! So, I took a picture this time in order to never forget how much I loved that mystery nip.

We’re over 1500 words now so we’ll leave off here and continue on with post-lunch things in the next update. This is 50% me wanting to drag this out forever because the very last post means I have to accept that the vacation is over (I mean, I’ve been home for over a month now, so…) and 50% me being tired by the time I have some free time at night to write. I play tennis nearly every night after work, you guys. It’s my new lifestyle. *blows on nails*

Here’s Airtime Thrills’ vlog from that day! You can see Chooch and me on the kiddie coaster (he was filming for what felt like the entire cycle and it was excruciating since we were in the front seat!) and all three of us on the mine train).

We left Djurs Sommerland around 8:00PM and set off for Farup Sommerland in….Dommerborg? Looking at a map, and um, OK I guess we’ll go with that. You’d think by now I could accurately decode a map like a regular adult but no. I’m always gonna be true to myself.

The park we were leaving is to the right of Randers so that should give a general sense of the drive. I’m going to guess it was about a two hour drive.

First though, I had to take blurry building pictures like I’m in 5th grade on a tour bus all over again, and then fucking scream into the crook of my arm and we passed THIS AWFUL, DISTURBING, DISGUSTING THING:

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UGH FUCK YOU!!

Anyway, this was also the bus ride where we found out that all ferry service was suspended due to this area of Scandinavia basically being hit by the biggest storm they’ve seen in over 20 years. It was called STORM HANS, I believe, and while the weather at Djurs was not ideal, it honestly didn’t seem like it was THAT intense. Well, we’d have a very different experience the next day…

I think I always updated about this from the bus the next day, but what happened was Tim, in a position I truly did not envy, was tasked with giving us our options:

Skip Norway, which was supposed to happen via ferry after departing the next day’s park, or drive all the way back down through Denmark, switch bus drivers in Copenhagen, drive across the bridge to Sweden, and basically drive UP through Sweden to Norway. This was a very contentious moment on the bus, and I was worried that the votes would be split, or lean more towards skipping Norway. I did not want to miss out on Norway! Either way, ferry or by bus, we would not really get to see much of Norway outside of the park anyway, so in my eyes, it was still worth going just for the park. I wanted to be in Norway, you guys! I wanted that country cred!

Chooch was like furiously shaking his head NO to overnight bus ride, but I was like YES, WE ARE VOTING YES AS A FAMILY. Even Henry was like, “We’re doing it. We’re going to Norway. Suck it up.”

There was MAJOR debating going on behind us amongst all the younger guys that I desperately wanted to be friends with. They were suggesting things like booking flights on Ryan Air but then someone pointed out that nearly everyone on the bus had checked bags with them so that wouldn’t work.

“All I know is that if we do this, everyone better take a mandatory shower tomorrow morning. At gun point.”

And this started a whole tense exchange with another passenger, culminating in an actual moment of collective “OOOOOOOHHHHHH”ing. It was….stressful.

First, Tim shook a show of hands and it seemed like most people raised theirs in favor of the busride. But then he came back, after conferring with his right hand man, Austin, and had everyone type out their vote on their phone so that he could just walk around and get an anonymous tally.

I confidently typed out OVERNIGHT on my phone and then pointed to Henry and Chooch, and said, “This vote is for ALL OF US” and Chooch just glowered at me. Dude, you’re 17, you can handle this. Get a grip, pal.

Later, Tim came back and said that the vote for the overnight bus ride was overwhelming, so WE WON. NORWAY’S A GO.

I mean, no, this wasn’t ideal but the fact that Tim worked to slap together an option for us, working with the current bus driver (amazing guy btw), and just overall putting himself in a really shitty position – it really meant a lot and it showed for the millionth time of this trip so far how good his character is. Honestly, I get teary just thinking about Tim and how well he took care of us. He was like, and hear me out because I’ve never actually done this as a kid, the best camp counselor ever. The kind that makes a huge impact on your life in your formative years, you know? I mean, I’ve watched coming of age camp-related movies and TV shows, so I’m basically experienced in this area.

When we arrived at the Farup Hotel that night, it was suddenly clear that this storm was no joke. The wind was INTENSE as we were trying to claim our luggage (note Henry and his Hero Complex up there assisting the bus driver – such a suck-up, it’s unreal sometimes) and I was lowkey starting to get a bit scared. Looking at the map I posted up there, I’m not sure I realized how far north we actually were.

Everyone had to congregate in the lobby while Tim called a family meeting. I thought it was going to be a CAMPFIRE TALK about being nice to one another in these tense times, but really it was just that some of the singles were going to be put in rooms for four because this was a family hotel, meaning that there were two beds for adults and then the cutest BUNK BED NOOK for kids but also large enough to accommodate adults of a certain size. I think it was mostly the younger guys that got lumped together. I know some of the older singles like Pam paid extra to get their own single supplement without having to be paired up with a roommate. This also brought back memories of the family Euro trips of the past, where there would be older women usually that ended up as roommates and sometimes they became friends, sometimes they….did not.

Chooch was STOKED for the bunk beds but he was also a fucking pistol that night and went to bed hungry; we went and got snacks but he refused to come out of his bed and indulge and then fell asleep angry and hungry – good job, brat!

Dude, these rooms though. So fucking presh. We had a little balcony but every time we opened the door, the wind was so strong that it felt like it was going to rip the door off the hinges. Just hearing the wind blasting through the woods outside our room was ominous and gave me big chills. I was really wondering if our day at the park was even going to happen the next morning.

Snacks for non-bitches. I miss Kims!! These snacks were so good.

LOOK AT THAT BITCH BABY!

Ahhhh, one of the park’s mascots is A SQUIRREL.

OK, that brings us to DAY FIVE, which we will talk about tomorrow or sometime this week, I swear.

Um, I took this picture yesterday of my Coffee Cup of the Day thinking that I was going to finish this post, but well, that didn’t happen so let’s pretend this is Friday’s Coffee Cup of the Day. OK great!

Speaking of this cup though, I was happy that a lot of these parks had these camping-type of coffee cups as an option so I wasn’t lugging home a bunch of freaking ceramic or whatever the standard coffee cup is made out of.

Jesus Christ. What a snoozer of an intro.

The one thing I forgot to mention in my last post was that while we were at lunch, we were taking about how shitty the weather was and Eric jokingly asked Tim if the ferry ride the next night was still going to happen.

Tim got real serious and said he didn’t know, it was up in the air and he would let us know as soon as he found out.

OH SHIT this was definitely not something that I considered – I knew the weather was shit but I didn’t realize that in other parts of Scandinavia, it was REALLY BAD. So…that was ominous!

Most of the crew remained under shelter but I was getting antsy to explore more of the park, plus I REALLY wanted coffee. And Chooch apparently really wanted a milkshake.

OMG there was this playground area that I explored for a bit with Chooch. It got precarious inside the climbing part so I gave up like the quitter I am and actually, it was a really good thing because the only way down after that point was a slide. THIS SLIDE pictured above. I happened to be standing a few feet away from the bottom of the slide when Chooch came SHOOTING out of it, skidded across the ground on his ass, and nearly knocked me over like a duck pin.

Dude. Danish playgrounds man.

Here’s an Insta reel of some of his most dumb-dumb moments in Denmark:

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I loved this log flume! I saw my first ever real life SLUG just chilling on the side of the ride right before we went up a lifthill and of course Chooch didn’t believe me, so when we came back to the station, I asked the guy if we could ride again and he was SO HAPPY to send us back around. You guys, there weren’t that many people there because of the weather, and the people that WERE there were not queueing up for a water ride, mm.

Anyway, of course on the second lap, the slug wasn’t there anymore!

This was the moment I discovered that Scandinavian sprinkles ARE THE BEST. They were crunchy and tasted like the sweet part of a Sweet Tart. So amazing. I miss these so much.

Chooch said this looked like Penelope :(

We did ride some of the kids’ ride, of course! There was one young guy operating three of the rides, and he seemed genuinely thrilled when we walked up to ask if we could ride. When the ride was over, he asked us if we wanted to ride again and we were like, “Mmm, no we’re good, thanks.”

Random self-operated water slide:

Oh this ride was great once Chooch realized that he had control of when the car lifted in the air and then timed it so every time we passed one of the statues squirting water, I’d get it.

It was somewhere in this area where I was so giddy and laughing to the point where I REALLY almost peed my pants and had to run to the nearest bathroom. Honestly, the weather was trash but shit, it was such a good day. For the rest of my life when I think of Djurs Sommerland, I’m going to think of, well, shivering, but also laughing so much over everything!

This was the first park of the trip where we got exclusive ride time! We all met up at Juvelen at 6pm, when the park officially closed, and then we got 30 minutes of chaotic ERT on Juvelen. It was so much fun because basically when your train come back to the station, instead of exiting you’d get out the way you came in and either fill an empty seat or just squeeze back into the queue and wait for the next train rather than running all the way back around to the entrance. Everyone was really courteous and cautious though so it wasn’t like you were being mowed down by a mob of thoosies every time you tried to get off the ride. I think this was one of the first times that we rode with ALL of our group, no interlopers, and let me tell you, being on a coaster filled front to back with enthusiasts is really a fucking hype experience. The only other time this happened for us was last year at the Coastin’ by the Ocean event at Morey’s Piers – riding Great White after midnight with a pack of loud-mouth thoosies was something I’ll next forget lol.

Next, we all ran over to Piraten, where another 30 minutes of ERT went down.

ERT on Piraten!!   I just realized that Henry got to ride this with Kevin #2! I don’t think I rode anything with Kevin #2. Anyway, what I will tell you about Piraten is that it’s an Intamin Mega Lite which probably means nothing to you but if you read my recent post about King’s Dominion, it’s been compared to a mini-Intimidator 305. Which still might not mean anything to you! I thought it was fun, and I was really thrilled that we got to ride it, but it was also A BIT underwhelming. I heard people saying that the weather was preventing it from running to its full potential.

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I could only last about 2 or 3 rounds on this because I was so fucking cold. Literally, the next day, my whole body ached from the amount of shivering I was doing all day long at Djurs! So the three of left the station after getting a handful of rides and hung out in the courtyard-like area next to Piraten and watched train after train being sent with the insane, unhinged Coaster Crew members. At one point, Tony came over and showed me his phone. “Look at this picture!” he cried. “It looks like the thumbnail for a clickbait post. ‘Brawl breaks out on a roller coaster!'”

Turns out, they started playing PASS THE SWORD, where the ride operator handed someone in the first row a toy sword, and then once the train crested the hill and started its descent, that person would have to pass it to the person behind me, and so on, until the last person on that side got it and would have to pass it to the person they were sitting with so that the sword could then make its way back up to the front. They had to see how many rounds the sword could be passed before the train came back to the station, and then the people in the next train would have to try to beat them.

It looked and sounded like absolute chaos. I told Tony that this was only possible because I was no longer riding – there is NO WAY I would have been able to pass that thing on a moving roller coaster without dropping it!

AND THAT’S THE THING – NO ONE DROPPED IT!!

Not my photos! I got these from the event page:

You guys, after this, we got to walk through the maintenance shed, complete with a NUDIE CALENDAR on the wall that I desperately wanted to take a picture of but the universe provided me with no good ops.

This was actually really cool. I wasn’t geeking as hard as some of those hardcore thoosies and YouTubers, but I still could appreciate it!

They were all like lovingly stroking  the wheels of the second train and naming out parts of it that meant nothing to me but I was really into it anyway. People’s excitement is contagious, you guys. I think I’m only immune to like, the excitement of Swifties.

THEN WE GOT TO WALK AROUND THE INFIELD AND EVEN CLIMB ONTO THE TRACK!!

JEAN TOOK THIS!

You can actually hear me sigh like a little bitch and say, “Ugh it’s so cold.” And hear that wind?!? SPOILER ALERT: It would be way worse the next day. :)

Overall, LOVED this park bigly. It was the first one of the trip this far that really felt like the type of park that we’re used to here in the states, with a wide range of rides and a really great and varied collection of coasters. I would love to come back to this park someday, especially if they ever add a new coaster to the lineup!

****

On the walk back to the bus, Eric and Marie were talking about the huge slugs they saw around the park that day and I practically threw myself at them while screaming, “OMG SAME” and then whirled around on Chooch to still scream but now with an angry tone “SEE I TOLD YOU THERE WERE SLUGS HERE!!!!” Chooch was like, “Mm.” I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD THERE WAS ON THE LOG FLUME AND HE LOOKED LIKE ONE OF THE EXTRAS IN LABYRINTH.

Monday was our third full day with Coaster Crew and we had another delectable breakfast buffet to explore, this time at the Helnan Marselis Hotel in Aarhus. We knew it was going to be a rainy and very chilly day, but everyone was in good spirits at breakfast. Cassie sat with us, and then a bit later when I saw Pam come in, I told Henry to hurry up and finish eating so she could have his seat, lol. He was like, “Whatever, I have to finish packing anyway,” and lumbered away. I waved Pam over and said, “Pam! Pam! Sit here with us.”

“Where’s Henry?” she asked, and when I told her I sent him away so she could sit with me and Cassie, she gave me a faux-disappointed face and said, “Poor Henry!”

Chooch realized quickly that he was sitting with all women, so he excused himself. Byeeeee. Anyway, this was one of my favorite breakfasts because we talked about RELATIONSHIP things and then Pam said she saw all of Kevin’s tattoos the night before and I screamed, “OMG REALLY” because I was low-key stanning her and Kevin and she said matter-of-factly, “Yeah, he was at the pool last night.”

Oh.

Other things that happened before leaving the hotel:

• Judy and I bonded over Sugar in the Raw (she brought her own and told me I was welcome to use some whenever I needed because sweetener options were either straight up sugar cubes or these teeny-tiny aspartame tablets that were infuriatingly difficult to get out of the package.
• Sam broke his umbrella when he was trying to leave through the hotel’s front door and I don’t know why this scene is seared into my memory, but there it is.
• Cassie was asking people to give her the hotel body lotion if they didn’t want it, because she really liked the scent. Someone came up the steps of the bus with a lotion and said, “Someone was asking for this, but I can’t remember who.” A few of us said Cassie, so Tim took it and said, “Pass this to Cassie” which turned into “Passie to Cassie” and I don’t know why but this was one of those things that was SO FUNNY AND MEMORABLE TO ME??

When we left Aarhus that morning after breakfast, the rain was still coming down heavily. I think we all had pretty much accepted that this was going to be the theme of the day, take it or leave it. We have dealt with rainy park days many times back home so I wasn’t too bothered about this, just was nervous that maybe some rides wouldn’t be running.

Here is a video of moist scenery and bus chatter.

MAP FOR REFERENCE. Djurs Sommerland is located in Nimtofte – Battrupholt, whatever that means. The park’s address is actually listed as DJURSLAND which makes more sense. Apparently, Nimtofte is a nearby VILLAGE. Look at us, learning about the world together! Should we try to do a blank map test at the end of all of these recaps??

We arrived right before 10AM. Mark had already been there before and was like, “I’ll show you the secret way!” to his friends and ran into the woods. I wanted to go that way too because again, Desperate in Denmark, but Henry put it in my head that they might have been going that way to pee?! I DON’T THINK THAT THEY WERE, BUT OK.

Ugh, I wanted to be accepted by this group of cool guys so badly, but they were probably like OK MOM.

Going the non-secret way, the totally PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE way.

That smiling sun! Even on a rainy day, it felt so welcoming! Hello, Scandinavia’s biggest amusement park!

Chooch’s OOTD though.

My first impression of this park was that it was fairly big and SPACIOUS. Really wide paths, an ADORABLE kids area themed to farm animals, and a bunch of trampolines and death-trap play areas with some of the scariest slides I’ve ever seen. Slides that would never fly in America past like, 1998.

I know that the first thing we did was get the kiddie coaster out of the way with some other people from our group. In fact, now that I’m looking back on this day, there really weren’t many other people there but our group. And all of the rides were open! So, sometimes it pays to go to an amusement park on a rainy day, yo. I am basically a Professor of Fun so this is a fact and not just an OPINION.

Next was our first Thor-themed ride of the trip, Thor’s Hammer! Chooch took this photo of the ride operator and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since- she looks so sinister! ZOOM IN ON HER FACE, FAM. This was one of my favorite rides, too! Just a fun, quirky family coaster.

I didn’t take very many pictures of the rides this day because of THE RAIN, but after this, we rode Juvelen which Arnold taught us literally translates to the jewel, but it’s pronounced yoovelen I think he said.

Also, who is Arnold? This was the first time we chatted with him; he is this supremely friendly guy from Orlando (I think he even said he works at Disney!) who was always smiling and was just a joy to talk to, honestly.

Anyway, Juvelen is a multi-launch straddle coaster and also has the distinction of being Denmark’s longest coaster. I was really hyped for it because I had watched a video where it was MODERATELY compared to Hagrid’s without the theming and gimmicks. I mean, OK. I could see that, a little bit! I thought it was fun, and actually kind of aggressive after the second launch which was unexpected. But it didn’t make me scream, “JANNNNAAAAA!” if you know what I mean.

Chooch got his 300th coaster cred on Piraten, the park’s Intamin mega-lite, and also our very first Intamin mega-lite! We will talk more about this in my next post, because we had ERT on this coaster after the park closed and also got a tour of the infield, which was a big highlight.

DragenKongen is Europe’s longest and fastest launched family suspended coaster, apparently! I wasn’t aware of that at the time, but I REALLY loved this. The queue was so entertaining because the ride op screams something crazy in Danish before the launch and it just really gets you pumped, YOU KNOW? Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to get you pumped. Maybe you also call for a more bigly Viking send-off, like being set on fire first. And that’s OK too! That’s your preference. But for some of us, being hollered at furiously is enough to get it done.

I would also like  to insert here that it wasn’t raining when we were waiting in line for this (only about a 15 minute wait, probably the longest wait of the day!) but as soon as we got on it and it launched us out of the station, we were like OH OK, HI RAIN, WE SEE YOU. I mean, it was coming down pretty hard. Henry and I both cracked and went to a gift shop to buy ponchos (they are REALLY nice souvenirs too!) but Chooch said, “No, I’m good. I like water and I don’t get cold.”

You guys, it was fucking so chilly that day. I had on long sleeves, a jacket, and jeans but it was not enough for that August day in Denmark, somehow. I packed in preparation for chilly weather, but purposely didn’t bring hoodies or sweaters because those take up so much space in luggage! I had The Regertz on this day though.

Djurs has a family power coaster in their brand new Dinosaurland, and we rode it in the pouring rain with Kevin, Pam, and Marie. I was like, “KEVIN CAN I RIDE WITH YOU” because he had the front seat, and stupid Henry and Chooch were like, “We’ll show her for branching out” and went all the way to the very back in order to get the furthest away from me, is my guess. Anyway, I was so giddy about this that I bought the on-ride photo even though it’s not even that remarkable, it’s a memento of the first time I rode something with Kevin and Pam, even though you can’t see Pam because she was sitting behind me!

Everyone was ready for the lunch buffet though, hungry or not, because it provided shelter! This buffet actually had a lot of options for us veg-heads (I still think it was just Chooch and me out of like approx. 70 people; I really thought there would have been at least one other!). There were these unknown fried pockets up there and while I was pretty sure they were samosas, Johnny took one for the team and ate one while we were in line.

“Just potatoes!” he confirmed. “And some spices.”

“Is it a samosa?” I asked.

“Hmm. I’m not sure.”

It was a samosa.

Anyway, I sat with Pam, Kevin, Marie, and Eric (Marie and Eric also sat right in front of us for the entire trip on the bus UNTIL we got a new bus after Gothenburg, Sweden. I was sad, but they just moved over to the seats across the aisle. It was enough to screw with me though. I hate change.)

Anyway, I got this picture off of the event’s Facebook page that I was illegally perusing with my FAKE FB ACCOUNT that I had to create in order to make Instagram ads for my stupid card shop which I don’t even do anymore (the ads, I still make the cards) and my account has no picture and no friends and no information other than my basic-ass name so it looks like a goddamn sock puppet account and also I never even logged in to it until this damn trip happened and everything was being posted on Facebook and not emailed.

OK now that that explanation is out of the way, this picture is hilarious to me because Henry and Chooch were sitting alone and of course Henry is cavemanning food into his gaping maw at the exact moment someone took a picture because he just can’t help himself but to be THE MOST EMBARRASSING. But I also love it because…it’s so many of my people. I miss them. And even the best bus driver, the one who left us after Denmark, is in this picture! If you look for the guy in the reddish/maroon shirt, the bus driver is across from him in the white dress shirt and tie – he was so friendly and immersive!

OK, let’s end here for today and story time can resume at some point probably tomorrow BUT I AM NOT PROMISING ANYTHING. Chooch and I are demo’ing three tennis rackets and we had the BEST TIME on the courts with them tonight (I mean, we were using them to play tennis, we weren’t, like, wining and dining them) so I might be too busy tennis’ing my ass off tomorrow after work. TO BE DETERMINED.

AND CONTINUED.

After leaving BonBon Land on Sunday (and after Henry found his phone LOLOLOLOL), our bus of coaster freaks continued our Danish trek and arrived late that the afternoon at a small park in Aarhus called Tivoli Friheden.

Exhausted after all of the BonBon’ing. I mean, it’s not every day you get to ride a dog fart coaster and slide out of a dog’s asshole. That shit would take a lot out of even, I don’t, a Garbage Pail Kid maybe.

Random shots from the bus window, reminiscent of all the film I wasted in Europe as a kid, taking pictures with the flash on through smudgy tour bus window. I have boxes of blurry scenery photos and unknown castles in god knows what countries.

But I just really needed to capture this amazing house!! Also, look at Creepy Henry’s silhouette in the window :/

I am going to be diligent about including maps from now on because if we are being honest with each other under the blanket inside a pillow fort reading my vacation journal together with a flashlight after I just yelled at you for spilling a bowl of SALTY LICORICE, I truthfully didn’t know where the fuck a lot of the times, just me over there spending a large portion of the trip totally geographically blind.

We arrived at Friheden around 4:30pm. Looking back in my vacation journal, I can tell you that the bus ride was full of chatter which was not appreciated by many, lol. There were some quirky personalities on the bus, that’s for sure. It was thoroughly entertaining for me, though! At one point, an hour into the drive, the owner of the unappreciated chatter asked our group leader Tim, “How much longer?” which garnered some groans from those in earshot. At one point, Tim told him it was nap time, and when he tried to keep talking, Tim said, “It’s still nap time.” I was furiously texting my brother the play-by-play because he was very invested in these characters.

This park was very small, but beautiful – full of gardens and really quirky decorations. Even on an overcast day, it was stunning! Unfortunately, as far as rides, its line up was pretty sparse. Only three coaster credits. There were four coasters there up until a year ago, when one was removed after an accident :/ To be honest, when I heard about the accident last summer, I wondered if this park was going to be removed from the itinerary, but it clearly wasn’t.

A bunch of people wanted to do the SCAD tower thing, which was being offered to our group to do for free when normally it’s at up-charge. I’m guessing this is the reason the park was kept in the itinerary, because SCAD towers aren’t very prevalent. I mean, that’s just what I hear. I don’t like, run the SCAD tower Wiki page or anything. Jesus.

I 100% didn’t want to do this. Just looking at it made my legs turn to jello.

Meanwhile, Chooch got RIGHT in line.

I had to walk around and take pictures of the scenery while he was waiting in line because it was making me so nervous.

I already wrote about the FALLING one day while we were on the bus, so you can feel free to click here and read all about how I allowed my 17-year-old son to be taken up a 100+ foot tower thing in a scary elevator, dangled over the edge, and then released by some Friheden man at which point he fell a bunch of fucking feet like 100 or something with no harness or safety thingies, but at least they gave him a helmet and that back brace thing to ensure he landed properly in the net. 

Ugh. Don’t smile at me.

Once that was over with, we went around to collect our creds. There was just a really old looking spinning wild mouse, an SBF Visa spinning coaster, and a kids coaster that was similar to the Wacky Worm but it was a dragon. Wow, I’m such a thoosie. I don’t even know the manufacturers or names of these coaster off hand lol.

I LOVED THIS!!

There was a funhouse too! It wasn’t as good as Bakken’s but it had a fun slide at the end.

So, something happened at this park that was actually kind of horrifying but also funny and definitely memorable. OK, look. I was riding on a high from the way a lot of these people were being so inviting and inclusive toward us. Especially Larry and Jean, Cassie, and Pam and Kevin. There would be more added to that list later, but man, even just standing outside of the bus waiting for Tim to get our admission settled, everyone was just kind of milling around and talking and it was so nice not having it be totally awkward, you know? Just a lot of friendly banter and chatter – it made me feel overwhelmingly accepted.

I had noticed earlier that day that there seemed to be a young girl, like in her 20s, who was there by herself. She ended up being in line in front of us for a dark ride at Friheden and I had mentioned earlier to Henry that I was going to try and take her in just like others did to us, pay it forward, etc. Right? Well, I felt like this was my chance! So I asked her if she was with Coaster Crew, and she said yes so I introduced the three of us. She smiled and said her name, then IMMEDIATELY dropped the smile and looked away.

Chooch gave me a look, like, “Stop while you’re ahead” but I KEPT GOING, YOU GUYS. I started asking her things like WHERE ARE YOU FROM and she said Cinci and all the while she was doing the SMILE/FROWN thing but I couldn’t stop myself! I yelled, “Oh, Jungle Jim’s! I love Jungle Jim’s!” and she was like “*smile* Yeah, it’s great. *frown*”

Then, why am I like this, I asked her if SHE WANTED TO RIDE WITH US. NO, she didn’t want to fucking ride with us. She wanted my crazy annoying friendly ass to leave her the fuck alone so she could have a fucking zen ride in the haunted house. But since I asked her to her face, I’m sure she felt backed into a corner and said OK and then we all rode on this stupid shooter ride together and it was so uncomfortable. When the ride ended, she got out and walked through the exit without a word, never looking back.

“SHE DID NOT WANT TO RIDE WITH US,” Chooch said, in a chastising-toward-me tone. “You are so annoying! She hates all of us now.”

“No, she was just shy,” I said, but I knew he was right when we were walking toward her later and I said, “Hi, <her name>!” and she LOOKED RIGHT PAST ME AND KEPT WALKING. I thought Chooch’s brain was going to come shooting out of his nose, the way he tried and failed to hold back his laugh. It may have been one of Top 5 favorite moments on the trip.

DO YOU WANT TO RIDE WITH US???

I’d rather not eat the American Way :/

Remember when I got made fun of so bad for loving the Wacky Worm?? Well, I found my people, you guys. Grown ass adults who allow themselves to enjoy a kiddie coaster!

Our dinner was a pizza buffet and it was actually amazing. I’m saying “actually” not because I think Denmark can’t have good pizza, but because I’m of the American mentality that amusement pizza is going to be mid. But this pizza was SO GOOD. The one I liked the most had almost like…a ricotta type cheese as the base? And then these very thinly sliced translucent white circles that I am SURE were parsnips, but no one would back me up on that (and by no one, I mean, Henry, Chooch, and Dawn and Robert who were sitting at our table too).

I can’t believe I didn’t take a picture of it, but it was so fucking good.

This might have been the most boring carousel I’ve ever been on.

It had no music, and it went around SO SLOWLY.

There were two little kids that actually rode it twice in a row, what sad lives they have.

Look at these awesome terrarium things!!

This game had guns that you put actually ball-thingies in to shoot!!!! I DID NOT WANT CHOOCH TO DO IT. But I already let him fall perilously from a tower, so why not give him a gun too, all in the same day.

We ended the day by using our free snack coupon for some ICE CREAM which we ate at a picnic table with PAM and some others. I didn’t take a picture of my ice cream for some reason, probably because I got it in a cup. I do know that I thoroughly enjoyed it though.

Then everyone bitched because the gift shop had NO SHIRTS, MAGNETS, ETC with the park’s name on it. We quickly learned that park merch in this region is almost unheard of and their “gift shops” are actually filled with, well, gifts you would buy someone. Like toys and pretty much anything else you could think of that has nothing to do with amusement parks.

After leaving Friheden, we had a short drive to the hotel for the night, which you can read about HERE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY.

Pretty much all of the parks from the next day on were full-day parks with bigger coasters, so look forward to that, I guess!

I know amusement parks aren’t everyone’s bag up in here, so here is a non-park recap from our trip. The second hotel of the trip, which we stayed at after visiting Park #2 of Day 2 – Tivoli Friheden – our hotel for the night was the Helnan Marselis in Aarhus. While the rooms had more of a traditional European style and were less “modern” like the Tivoli Hotel in Copenhagen, I preferred this one because it was on a beach!

This hotel was in what appeared to be a RITZY BEACH TOWN.

These cars!! Also, that’s our beloved bus up there! We only had this bus for the first half of the trip though :( I missed it dearly (and the driver!) and did not like the second bus as much. THE VIBE WAS OFF.

The houses around this area were poppin’ off.

Tim hooked everyone up with seaside views. We slept with the balcony door opened and it was the most amazing night’s sleep. Um, this was also the calm before the (actual) storm. We’ll revisit this in a future post. LOOK AT ME PRE-CLICK BAITING YOU PEOPLE.

Here we have Chooch in action, complaining about something, probably.

Chooch slept in roll-out beds in most of the hotels, but he had some sweet sleep-spots in two upcoming hotels.

The Bay of Aarhus, apparently! I had to look it up on a map. Looks like it has the North Sea to the west and the Baltic to the east??

Wow, maybe I should start including maps in all of these posts instead of just being like “someplace in xx.” Also, looking at this map, now it makes sense that we went over so many long-ass bridges after we left Copenhagen that morning. Suddenly, I understand so much more of this trip now, weeks later.

Maps, Erin. Maps help.

Hotel art.

Henry and I went for a walk along the beach after we got settled and it was just so nice. Well, I mean, as nice as it could possibly be with Henry as my company. It’s not like we were holding hands and looking like we were in some vitamins for active middle-aged adults commercial. Or a “I conquered vaginal dryness by using THIS PRODUCT and now this is what my life looks like!” ad in Prevention magazine.

I brought back two small seashells from here, sue me. They were rinsed off thoroughly!

Some of the younger, cooler guys from our group were doing the whole SAUNA/SALT WATER thing so that was fun to watch like creeps from our balcony.

Look at that sky, though. Denmark! I remember walking in the sand and thinking, REALLY thinking, “Dude. I’m in Denmark.” We are not rich people so anytime we do anything outside of Pittsburgh, I’m all hashtag blessed, etc. Never take anything for granted! You never know what the future holds. This was one of those moments where I really had some quiet time in my head to reflect on this shit, as nerdy as that sounds. I just really didn’t think that this was something we would be able to do, but we made it happen and I hope that this is something that Chooch thinks about fondly (lol, fondly) for the rest of his life.

YOU KNOW??

On Sunday, August 6th, we checked out of the Tivoli Gardens Hotel after another immaculate breakfast spread (I miss the breads and the yogurts!) and set off for BonBon Land located about an hour away from Copenhagen in Holme-Olstrup in the South of Zealand. It’s a small family park opened in the 90s by the owner of a candy company called BonBon (I mean, obviously). BonBon candies were themed to gross things, like dog poop, ants pissing, wet diapers, you know – all these things synonymous with sweet delicious candy. Mmm mmm mmm. Mr. BonBon wanted to give kids (his biggest fans) a fun experience, and since he couldn’t offer tours of the candy factory because of sanitary reasons (allegedly – I think it was more that he didn’t want to give away any trade secrets related to how he was carmelizing seagull droppings and candying the essence of dog farts), he went the Hershey route and opened a theme park.

With only 4 coaster credits to scoop up, you might ask, why was this part of our itinerary?

Well, having a juvenile sense of humor that this place appeals to was a big reason.

It’s also the home of the first ever Gerstlauer Euro Fighter with a beyond vertical drop (beyond vertical drops are everywhere now but BONBON HAD IT FIRST, BITCHES).

But most importantly? It has a kiddie coaster themed to a dog farting.

You guys.

Are you even an enthusiast of you don’t have that dog fart cred??

Needless to say, we were all GIDDAY. I mean, look at all of us up there waiting for the park to open! A bunch of grown ass people clamoring to stuff their butts into a farting dog.

CASSIE TOOK THIS PICTURE OF US. In case you didn’t know, I made friends on this trip!! I’m so pathetic that I was even mailing postcards home to my non-coaster friends screaming about OMG I MADE FRIENDS, YOU GUYS, THROW ME A PARTY WHEN I COME HOME.

I probably could have earned a Girl Scout badge for this.

“Now let’s take one with your eyes closed,” said no one but somehow that’s what Chooch and I heard.

I have to laugh because this is ALL Coaster Crew back there. No one else came early. But we were like, “LET US IN. MUST GET THE CREDITS.”

BONBON LAND THEME SONG!

It took so long to get this photo because Chooch kept letting actual children cut in front of him and I was so annoyed and trying to pantomime an elbowing motion but he ignored me and just let it happen.

Really wish this was in my front yard,

The famous FARTING DOG!

We immediately ran to the dog fart coaster, and that’s when I realized the dog’s name is….HENRY!!! Oh, how apropos!

At home, it’s only Chooch and me riding the kiddy coasters – and to be fair, sometimes I sit those ones out but ONLY if it’s a crowded day and Chooch and I can’t sit together. I might hate kids, but I hate looking like an asshole even more and I don’t want to be That Adult who takes a seat away from a dumb kid, you know? But hilariously, on this trip, Henry suddenly was all, “Me too” but only because it didn’t relate to supporting women, and was getting in line for every baby coaster because all of his idols on this trip were doing it. Wow, you’re so cool, Henry. “Oh, Marshall, Nick, Gooch, Jimmy and Dewey are riding it? MAKE ROOM FOR ME, GUYS. Can I get a shout out on YouTube now??”

And of course Henry didn’t take any pictures of Chooch and me when it was our turn!

I guess I didn’t take many pictures here for some reason? So, I don’t have any of the Gerstlauer which was SURPRISINGLY not terrible. But I really enjoyed the spinning wild mouse up there, Han-Katten! There was a group of 5 middle school-aged boys in front of us who were being moderately annoying – some of them cut in front of us which was annoying since there 5 of them and that meant it AFFECTED us directly since we would have to wait for an additional cycle to get on. Anyway, when we were getting off the ride, Robert was coming up the exit steps and said, “Hey be careful when you go down there, because some kid just threw up everywhere when he came down the steps” and I was like “YES, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE JERKS!” and I was gloating, but then the joke was on me because I accidently looked and then almost threw up myself.

This video is not great –  I had to screen-record it from the Coaster Crew event Facebook page. Anyway, this coaster was just some strange family coaster. It wasn’t too bad!

SNACK TIME. We ran into Larry and Jean outside of this cafe and they spilled the tea on some things for us and it was at the moment that I felt like we were truly part of Coaster Crew. The amount of stress I felt leading up to this trip, worrying that we weren’t going to fit in, were going to be the black sheep on the outside, were going to have a miserable time sitting alone, etc. All for nothing. I still can’t believe how amazing the people portion of this trip was. Sorry that I’m basically acting like an aging GIRL SCOUT again but these things are really important to me and honestly, for as amazing as this coaster trip was, it wouldn’t have been even a quarter this amazing if not for the quality of the people.

I’m getting so emotional!

I am also drinking moscato which is way too sweet and dangerous for me to be drinking alone while tip-tapping away at this keyboard, but you guys. The fucking people, man. I never went away to summer camp but I imagine it must have had similar vibes.

Coffee and donut time!

Our first of many rapids rides of the trip! We were in line behind two young boys who were horrifically slapping each other in the face for fun.  When we got off the ride, it emptied us into a gift shop where I bought bushels of BonBon candy (most of which was licorice so no one but me will eat it!) and then realized that one of those kids completely stood up and mooned the camera, the evidence of which was on full display on the On Ride Photo screen.

At some point, I accidentally used the men’s room. I don’t think anyone would have cared though but it was something I thought about numerous times throughout the trip because Henry and Chooch saw that I was about to walk right in with all the confidence of a dick-swinging construction worker, and they just sat back and let it happen.

It’s fine.

I COULD HAVE BEEN ATTACKED IN THERE.

Isn’t that the big Karen Argument?

Well, I wasn’t.

The theming was so cute/weird/strange/perfect.

In line for the boat ride which took us around the world and was….interesting. Of course, in America Town, all the characters were cowboys and had guns.

Aside from the Dog Fart coaster, I LOVED the log flume. It was so fucking quirky. We went inside a big hunk of cheese and I swear to god, there were people whispering all around us and it was so goddamn creepy. I loved it so much.

And Chooch made me go on this dragon ride which looked like just a little kids’ ride that went in a circle but it went SO FUCKING FAST that it was actually painful and I thought we were going to be flung the hell out. We were SCREAMING for it to stop, but then it went BACKWARD too and I was like, “We are going to die. I can’t believe I’m going to lose my life at BonBon Land I hope someone knows to put that on my epitaph.”

The way I love this group so much, you guys….I have attachment issues.

Anyway, we were only here for a few hours before departing for the second park of the day, fourth park over: Tivoli Freheiden. What I loved was that Tim decided that the original amount of time he allotted was too much since the park was so dead and we were able to easily get the creds, so he changed the departure time and updated the even page on Facebook with the info. But everyone was passing it on, so whenever we would run into someone, they would give us the heads up and that was just one more thing that made me love Coaster Crew so much.

We bought a HENRY glass for Henry and a bunch of candy which I’m almost out of so if anyone wants to buy me candy for Valentine’s Day like suddenly that’s a thing to buy strange bloggers candy on Valentine’s Day, let’s make it a thing, please do ship some BonBon candy to me, or really any kind of licorice in general. I will eat it and thank you bigly.

Oh and in case you missed it, something TERRIBLE OH NO BOO HOO happened to Henry that day, which I already wrote about it while we were still on vacation!

P.S. Oh wow looks like Henry the Oaf actually did take some photos of us on the Dog Fart coaster.