This was supposed to be a Friday Five but my blog broke and wouldn’t allow me to upload the pictures I wanted to add so I had to wait for my IT Team (see also: Henry) to investigate and troubleshoot only to concede and call WordPress or whoever, I dunno who he called, but when they called him back, he was UNAVAILABLE so things are still not resolved as of Saturday morning. I figured I could at least get the word portion of this shit post down while waiting for Henry to do NOTHING (he’s currently in the kitchen making his gourmet breakfast – literally has been caressing some scrambled concoction on the stove for a solid 15 minutes, going back and forth from the fridge with more impromptu ingredients).

I guess this will just be a post without pictures, I dunno.

1. The Family Who Drinks Water Together…

I saw a tweet the other day where someone was asking, “Has anyone over the age of 40 actually seen their parents drink water” and it made me pause, because NO. NO I HAVEN’T. This sent me on a spiral, squeezing my brain for every instance of a family meal I could conjure, and NO WE NEVER DRANK WATER, and in addition to that, WE NEVER DRANK THE COMPLIMENTARY WATER provided to us at restaurants. Holy shit, this is real. We drank MILK (prob Vitamin D) out of FROSTED MUGS with dinner. My dad had like 4 legit vintage pop machines in the garage, we always had 2 liters of Fresca and some Ruby Red shit that my mom liked, and tons of sugary juice to wash down our bowls of sugary cereals in the AM – it is no wonder I have spent most of my life struggling with my weight!!! I was doomed from the start!

I never acknowledged “water as bev” even into my TWENTIES. I relied on Mountain Dew and, I dunno, wine coolers exclusively for hydration until one of my friends was like, “Do you not drink water? YOUR TEETH ARE GOING TO ROT!” And then I started panicking because ew. So eventually I got on the H2O wagon but I had to use flavored water as training wheels for a bit.

Now as an adult with my own family, we never have pop in our house. The liquid portion of my diet consists solely of water, coffee, and kombucha. Thank you.

2. Chooch’s HARD TRUTHS learned at McDonald’s

Apparently, Chooch’s friend (who works less than him) got a raise. Chooch was furious about this. “Why did he get a raise?” I asked. “I dunno, because he asked for one,” Chooch scoffed.

“So…ask for one!” I cried, because le duh right?

Chooch started sputtering off about how he doesn’t know how to do that and this blows my mind because Chooch is a fucking go-getter and I literally cannot imagine him at any sort of crossroads over this. So I started giving him suggestions of ways to ask for a raise which is actually so rich considering I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR A RAISE MYSELF.

“I’m just so mad that I work harder than everyone else, but get paid less,” Chooch huffed. OH SONNY BOY, that ain’t just a McD’s thang. That is what we call THE FUCKING REAL WORLD.

3. Spring Break Stress

You might recall several posts ago I alluded to our spring break trip and said something about how I didn’t want to give any details because we had already changed the itinerary/destination 4 or 5 times since November and I didn’t want to jinx anything. Well, just the mere mention was enough because LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT we were in the process of securing hotels, etc. and something made me look up the operating times for one of the parks we had on the list, and um…they changed their dates…

….to weekends only.

So out of curiosity, I looked up the other two parks we were going to hit in the same state, AND UM, SAME THING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. The whole entire reason we even planned this road trip was because that state had theme parks that were open EVERY DAY in April.

This sounds so whiny and First World Probs-ish, and I get that. But I’m mostly just kind of in a state of shocked hilarity because we have really weird luck with spring breaks. We have a new destination that is going to sadly cost us a ton more but I guess that is price we have to pay in order make FAMILY MEMORIES???

Henry was like, “We can still go to the other place another time,” and I literally stamped my feet and cried, “BUT I WANTED TO GO THIS TIME!!” LOL – the Veruca Salt side of my personality was 100% primped and primed by one John Stonick aka Oh Honestly, Pappap. Henry used to try to rehabilitate my spoiledness, but um….you see how well that’s worked.

So anyway, we have a NEW itinerary in place now and I just want to say that I am well aware of the fact that I am in a position to even go away AT ALL with my family, especially considering it wasn’t that long ago when we struggled to even afford a weekend vacation. Remembering that brought me back down to earth RULL QUICK.

On the bright side, it’s given me brand new vegan places to investigate because I like to be prepared when we go to other cities so that Chooch and I are properly and efficiently fed with little room for the HANGER PAINS to manifest.

Me, to Henry: “Do you hate going to vegan places when we travel?”

Me, answering for him in my Henry Voice: “No I don’t really care I just like to eat food.”

Me, back as Erin again: *Cracks self up*

Henry: *tunes out entire scene*

4. BLOG UPDATE: 

HENRY IS ON THE PHONE WITH THE BLOG PEOPLE RIGHT NOW AND HAD TO GIVE THEM MY BLOG NAME AND ADDRESS – HELLO BLOG FIXER, IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS!

5. SHEEPISH STENCH

Today is the birthday of my NCT Dream bias, Huang Renjun! I am going to celebrate by watching YouTube compilations of him being adorable/spicy/savage.

Here is a video of him cooking dumplings, in case you want that Food Network vibe:

And because I love options, here is one in case you (or you, or you guys back there, or Sally over yonder) feel like participating! I think he may be my favorite vocalist across the whole NCT spectrum too btw.

In case you’re writing a book about me and need additional facts for the “42 or 13?

” chapter.

(JANNA IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU BETTER WATCH BOTH VIDEOS)

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When we were cleaning out the attic last weekend, I found an old Minolta camera, most likely it was my grandparents house. I brought it downstairs to put with my other vintage cameras (almost all of them were my grandparents’!) and I realized, well shit, I have a lot of old cameras just sitting around.

So I thought, “HEY ERIN, wouldn’t it be refreshing to start using real-ass film cameras again?” I mean, not for everyday use, but I thought it would be particularly fun to take a film camera with me when we go on our road trips. I actually had wanted to dust off my Holga and take that with us on our rollercoaster road trip last summer, but Henry the Lazy Oaf never got around to buying film (I don’t fuck with the boring aspects of photography) and also it is so frustrating to get Holga film developed.

But I brought it up again, this time using the Minolta we just unearthed. And Henry was like, “OK it is easy to get film for this.” And then, “OK I ordered film for this.” And then when the film was delivered, “OK I put the film in this.” So I guess I will take the Minolta with us in April when we go on our spring break road trip but then I probably won’t be able to afford to get the film developed afterward because GAS PRICES will probably milk our accounts.

Anyway, here are some pictures of my camera collection! Some might still be usable but there are some that probably definitely aren’t.

We can get film for this little dude and it’s such a petite size that it will fit in my FANNY PACK so I might try and take this babe to an amusement park at some point??

That Keystone camera is like one of those accordion kinds and I think it might be impossible to use but we’ll see!

Isn’t this amazing!? It doesn’t even look like a camera when it’s closed up.

Not pictured because I can’t find them (but certainly they’re somewhere, I mean, we live in a duplex. There’s not many places for them to go):

• A Pentax from the 1980s – I think this is from HENRY’S YOUNG DAYS??
• A Diana
• My old Nikon from the 1990s
• One of those super vintage TLR cameras that you look down into – I bought this on eBay years ago

I just need a hobby you guys. I know I’ve dabbled in photography from time to time in the past but I think it would be fun to just NOT BE SERIOUS about it, first of all, and second of all, to hopefully let this help me be OK with imperfection because you know how unpredictable film can be. I also think it would be a nice family thingie to make real-life photo albums of our vacations.

I will probably lose interest after the first roll of film is a fail, but I’ll keep you posted I guess, lol ugh.

When it’s 1997 and you’re at the mall trying to use up that last picture on the roll so you can drop your film off at Ritz.

Double prints.

One hour processing.

And your sidekick Brian is like “You are embarrassing.”

(This was totally at Kaufmann’s in Century III Mall, btw. RIP Kaufmann’s. RIP Century III Mall.)

Blurry picture of Heather, me, and Justin during the summer of 1998, when we went to the Pittsburgh airport in the middle of the night for no reason other than we had nothing else to do and wanted to get ice cream cones at the McDonald’s there. I remember setting up my camera to take this picture while we were hanging out at one of the gates, waiting for planes, and spying on an airport employee who was sprawled out along some chairs, fast asleep.

It’s crazy to think that back then, you could do that. Just…chill at an airport for no reason, and no one questioned you. Just three dumb teenagers clomping from gate to gate like we had every right to be there.

Then on the way home driving down 279 in the dark, I inexplicably drove my car into one of the out of control truck ramps to nowhere, and amazingly didn’t get my car stuck but definitely succeeded in freaking everyone out, but that was kind of my specialty back then.

The late 90s were lit.

After we ate lunch (that bouncy grilled cheese, yo!) on Saturday, I wanted to go out and be one with nature because it was practically 70 degrees out! March is truly so underrated. It is like, the month of hope and thawing hearts. Like, winter is finally in the rear view mirror and we’re pedaling up toward the tulips.

Since we were in the area, I suggested that we just go to Ohio Pyle with all the other nature riffraff. I knew it would be crowded (for nature) because it was such a beautiful day, but it wasn’t overwhelmingly bad.

Henry was annoyed because I’m never dressed appropriately for “nature walks” but more like “teenager going to the mall.” Whatevelyn.

DANGER DANGER.

Apparently, you can go WHITE WATER RAFTING on this river-thing. It made me have a flashback to the time we went to Tennessee a long time ago and all of the girls in our group pre-planned a white water rafting trip but didn’t include me and I was sad at the time.

“Now that I think about it,” I mused to Henry while staring out into the raging rapids, “that was probably for the best.”

Henry laughed, but it was the kind of laughter that is more like a hard, staccato cough meant to signify the words “YOU AIN’T KIDDING.”

Speaking of raging rapids, I would not be sad if Kennywood got rid of their Raging Rapids and put in an RMC single-rail or something equally as good and non-water-ridey.

Henry was annoyed because I matched so match. (Erin from 2024 here to correct that last “match”to “well.” Ugh.)  I was like a walking cringefest and he was so happy to be seen with me. Actually, though, I put this outfit together because I had recently bought that shirt and the owner of the Etsy shop was like I WILL GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT IF YOU TAKE PICS IN THE SHIRT so later on, I made Henry TAKE PICTURES OF ME IN THE SHIRT and as usual it caused a huge blowout because his specialty is shooting me from all my bad sides/angles (to be fair, there are many so his odds are good). More on that in a separate post because I gotta stretch out that content, dear reader(s).

o.O

We had about 87 fights in this area which was kind of stupid considering how many openings he had to OOPS push me in. He was mad because he was desperate to go inside the visitor’s center for some reason and I was like, “Why, it’s just gonna be a bunch of maps and rock formation dioramas.”

Meanwhile on the other side of the road, there are all kinds of places to get your RIVER PERSON GEAR and whatnot. Also, souvenirs, but like what kind of souvenirs are they shilling out at Ohio Pyle?? I bet it’s just, like, fancy rocks and pennants.

While we were walking past all this shit, I wondered about what would have happened if I had ended up with a guy was into that shit. Like, camping and wearing life vests, etc.

“Well, you wouldn’t have lasted long, obviously,” Henry scoffed and I disagree with this because my pre-Henry dating experience showed me that guys tended to CLING so who knows how that could have panned out. Maybe I’d have kept a non-nature boy on the side to chill with whenever Russ went to go stick a flag on the top of a mountain. (I just imagine that someone like that would be named Russ and now I’m laughing because I ACTUALLY DID DATE A GUY NAMED RUSS but forgot until just now; however, I don’t think he was into wilderness things and also I think we only dated for like a month in 11th grade, it was not that big of a deal.)

A Church.

Me in front of A Church.

We walked along another trail for a bit, just in time to see some young child nearly ride their bike, training wheels and all, over a small gorge. The dad ran after it (I didn’t look to see if it was a boy or a girl because it didn’t matter) and as he grabbed the back of its bike, he looked at us and we all laughed nervously, pretending that his kid didn’t just perish over a cliff in Ohio Pyle.

At Ohio Pyle?

On Ohio Pyle?

What the fuck even is an PYLE??

I hissed out of the side of my mouth to Henry, “Let’s get away from these people before we end up as eye witnesses” so we went down to the WATER which was nice and calm since it was a bit away from that water fall / rapid area thing where we started.

I wanted to start a series of TREE POSIN’ WITH ERIN AND HENRY but I’m not certain how often I will be able to get Henry to participate and also, for example, all he was doing here was mimicking my awkward poses so I’m not even sure I want to give him the clearance to do that again, if we’re being honest with each other here and obviously we are because “honesty” is like my brand. Well, there are probably worse things that are my brand first. But “honesty” is there somewhere.

Henry was very smug about this shot of me mid-ass brush.

I had enough of OHIO PYLE by then, so we left. Not before I blasted NCT127 “Earthquake” as we drove past a gaggle of hillbilly hunter guys congregating around the pick-up truck in the parking lot.

Henry was like, “Wow, great, thanks.” He loves when I draw attention to us.

On the way back home, I had a vague memory of being with my mom one time in middle school or high school, while she was spying on someone (probably—that was like her big past time back then).

All I could remember was that she had taken me somewhere “to the right, off one of these roads up here” near Perryopolis, to a place called Linden something. Henry was like, “Reminder that it’s 2022 and you can find anything on that iPhone in your hand” so I googled it and yelled LINDEN HALL just as we saw a sign on the side of the road that said LINDEN HALL. So Henry was like, “OK gas is 900 dollars but sure let’s take a detour into the unknown” so that is how we ended up driving and driving and driving past all kinds of actual VILLAGES and even the SILENCE OF THE LAMBS house which I completely forgot was out that way:

Until we finally made it to Linden Hall, which is just a golf course / mansion / wedding venue apparently. The mansion was really petty and I wanted to go in but Henry said IT IS CLOSED even though all the lights were on, but OK, sir. He was just pissed because as we drove past the golf course on the way in, I leaned across and screamed, “MISS IT!!!!” out the window at all the golfers with saggy butts.

“Why do you have to be so childish,” he sighed, wanting to die.

Then on the way back out to the main road, I asked him to slow down so I could take a picture of the house with all the obnoxious Trump signs but it was only because I wanted the opportunity to screech TRUMP SUCKS at the house, to which Henry responded by stepping on the gas, frantically trying to roll up my window, while muttering, “God damn you.” Wow, Henry’s hidden Trump love is showing.

Then we back-tracked and went to Gene and Boots because crybaby Henry wanted to get ice cream since he didn’t get dessert to go at Brenda’s Family Restaurant like he claimed he was going to. Seriously, he can be such a bitch sometimes.

Yeah wow. These are things that happened on Saturday after lunch. Come back when I post the second half, which is tentatively titled “BREAKING UP AT THE CEMETERY BECAUSE OF MY PERPETUAL RESTING BITCH FACE AND HENRY’S INABILITY TO DIRECT ME INTO POSING FOR PICTURES WHERE I DON’T LOOK LIKE SLOTH FROM THE GOONIES.”

Oh ho ho, 좋은 아침 여러분. Henry and I are currently en route to Columbus, Ohio to have lunch at Seitan’s Realm. Here is how that happened:

Every time we pass through Columbus, we want to eat there but it always happens to be on Sunday and they are closed! Finally, I couldn’t take anymore taunting via their Instagram feed so I yelled at Chooch to request off on some upcoming Saturday so that we can feast. Then a few weeks later he was like “I’m off on the 26th” and I rejoiced! But then I found out that he called off for a Pokemon “event” so this is why it is just Henry and me in the car and Chooch is still at home sleeping :(

Anyway it’s 7:19 and we just plied ourselves with coffee, NCT Dream is blaring, and I’m already about to start complaining about contacts. Woo road trip!!

8:55am: what a boring drive, as expected. We stopped at Sheetz for breakfast as per road trip protocol. Nothing interesting happened there at all. Then I listened to a few chapters of an audiobook but it was making me fall asleep (I mean the book is good but combined with being in the car, I was so drowsy).

9:12am time for a Renjun appreciation shout out, best NCT vocalist.

10:26am: Just arrived at Otherworld but our reservation isn’t until 11 so we’re just sitting in the car, you know, same as we’ve been doing for the last three hours.

OMG Henry’s memory of the day is from 2006 when I was pregnant and we were also in Columbus that weekend! The picture is my puke on the bathroom floor of the science center. IMAX & Slurpee was not a great combo for my mucho-prego self lol.

11:28 I live here now.

11:56am: Spent an hour at Otherworld and it was really fun but toward the end, it started to get really crowded so we were glad we left as early as we did and got there before our 11am reservation because this is not the type of place you can enjoy yourself with a crowd.

Henry: Really? Renjun’s Voice?

Yeah, so??

Now we’re on our way to Seitan’s Realm, finally!

12:30pm: finally at Seitan’s Realm!!

THIS IS ABOVE OUR BOOTH!!!

1:06pm: you guys wow. We just left and I will definitely need to write a separate review post thingy but it was so satisfying and I am wrecked that we live 3 hours away.

1:33pm: stopped at Topiary Park. We weee here years ago with Christina but it was rainy that day so I wanted to come back. It was smaller than I remembered and also super cold so we left after five minutes lol.

3:07pm: just peed in the nicest park bathroom ngl.

Some place called Blacklick Park I guess. I needed to go for a walk to digest and henry took forever finding a place and we had many fights.

Artec! Nooooo!

3:26pm this just in: I knew something moss-adjacent that Henry did not: that British Soldier lichen stuff!

That is not my picture but I have vivid memories of this shit being all over the fences along the side of my childhood street – Gillcrest – and I have never seen it since then. :(

3:36: Just stopped at 5 Bean Coffee and got a maple butterscotch latte which is quite delectable but I’m having ordering regertz because they had red velvet on the special menu that I didn’t see at first so I pointed it out to henry but he blew me off and just got something basic like his personality. Ugh.

3:44: we just drove past the gas station where we had to pull over one time on the way home from who knows where when Chooch was laughing so hard he peed his pants and henry was soooooo angry lol.

Meanwhile henry just called the car in front of us a COCKBITE.

4:47: just spent a cool $100 on Kpop pins in one of the pin maker’s shop updates. I also bought a keychain meant to be used as a frame for Kpop photo cards – so if you’re new here, that means that anytime you buy a Kpop album, one of the fun parts of it is finding out whose photocard you got because it’s totally random. Some of the super manic Stans will buy dozens of the albums in an effort to collect all of the photocards. It’s nuts!

But it got me thinking about how everyone was so shocked when I got into Kpop and admittedly I was too but it actually makes so much sense because I am a very obsessive and fanatical personality type. For instance, when I was in middle school, I had it SO BAD for Pgh Penguin Paul Coffey and used to carry his hockey card around with me everywhere like it was actually him. I can remember even taking him to the movies with my friends and giving him his own seat next to mine.

“So really I haven’t outgrown that part of myself at all,” I said to Henry just now, to which he mumbled, “You haven’t outgrown much of anything.”

Wwwwwwwwwow.

5:52pm: Made the mistake of telling Henry I don’t really understand sanctions and he stepped into his MANSPLAININ’ trousers and gave me a Lesson.

Also fuck Putin. What a miserable pathetic gremlin shadow of a man. Go drown in quicksand with Trump please, while grasping onto your tiny peepees.

6:33pm: Now we’re about 15 minutes from home but Son of the Year texted me and demanded an iced coffee so now we’re at Dunkin’ in Bridgeville and I just want to go hoooooommmmmeeee.

Posting this now I guess. What a lame live blog. Ciao ciao for now now.

BIG NOSE

One of my friends on Instagram just posted something about a friend told her she shouldn’t get photographed on her left side because her nose looks bigger from that side and just reading that triggered me and immediately queued up a VIVID memory of standing in the lunch line in 7th grade, minding my own business, when ADAM CUNTSKE (named changed since people always seem to Google themselves and find my idiot blog) said 갑자기, “You have a really big nose.”

To me!

And yeah I guess I do probably but it was literally something  that I never thought about back then probably because I was too fixated on being FAT, A BRACE FACE, HAVING A SHITTY PERM, ETC. But great, let’s add “BIG NOSE” to the arsenal.

Additionally, ADAM CUNTSKE and I had never once exchanged even a hello. I don’t even think we had any classes together (he was REMEDIAL. Take that, ADAM CUNTSKE).

Then several years ago, he had the audacity to send me a friend request on Facebook, back when I still used that societal scourge. Of course I screamed NOT TODAY, ADAM CUNTSKE. Come on, really? Aside from commenting apropos of nothing about my bulging beak, we had shared approximately zero words all  the way throughout high school. Maybe he has a boner for big noses now!?

LONG TIME NO GINGER

A few weeks ago, I was on my way back home from a lunch break walk. It was a really unseasonably beautiful day which meant I got roped into THREE conversations with strangers all on Brookline Boulevard, how fucking blessed. One old dude pulled up to the curb as I was lost in an audiobook and I caught him frantically waving in my periphery. I had to pull a GAYLE who used to listen to audiobooks at work and would hold up one finger while she searched for the pause button anytime someone would approach her desk. Shout out to you, Gayle!

Anyway, after I properly paused my book, dude was like IS THE HOTDOG PLACE OPEN. Like he really wanted me to walk over to HANK’S HOTDOGS which OK I was about to walk past it anyway but now I had to go all the way up to it because my eyes are bad and I couldn’t read the sign that was taped to the door from where I was standing, mole eyes and all.

I read the sign and reported back. “IT SAYS THEY’RE OPEN UNTIL 3 BUT I THINK IT’S A LIE BECAUSE IT’S ONLY 2:30 NOW AND IT APPEARS TO BE CLOSED” I shouted through his passenger side window from my firm stance on the sidewalk lest he try to grab and pull me through said open window. He just stared at me like he was not happy with this answer so I was like, “Oh OK, I guess I will go back and TRY THE DOOR in order to give you the most accurate answer.” So I did just that and looked over my shoulder to see if he was witnessing me being unable to pull open the LOCKED DOOR. This, paired with my exaggerated AW SHUCKS shrug, appeared to satisfy him so he shouted, “OK THANKS HONEY” and then pulled back onto the boulevard.

ANYTIME, GRAMPS.

Then I was cutting through the CVS parking lot, where some guy was giving himself a bath with handfuls of snow, I swear to fucking god. There was some redheaded broad in front of me who went inside CVS just as some old man with a cane exited. She was 100% still in earshot when the old man locked eyes with me and exclaimed, and I mean WHOOPED, “Wow, it’s been a long time since I seen a GINGER!” I was like, “*stunned*” but we had already made the aforementioned eye contact so now he wanted to talk to me about the skating rink at the bottom of his road that he was on his way to conquer.

“Oh wow, be careful with that,” I said with a nervous laugh, having no idea wtf he was going on about.

“*something about a water main thingie breaking*” he mansplained.

“Oh OK, well, good luck, haha,” I laughed uncomfortably, trying to edge away and OMG why did I leave the house.

BROOKLINE HERO

There’s some road work happening on one of the side streets so there are tons of DETOUR construction signs lining the road I live on. However, we have been experiencing some pretty high winds lately and almost all of them have been knocked over. On Saturday, Henry and I were walking to the library when he was like, “THIS IS RIDICULOUS” after we hurdled over the second felled sign. And then he proceeded to PICK IT UP and replace the SAND BAGS. You guys know I was losing it over this. Anytime Henry does anything like  this, I wish he had a COSTUME to wear. Like maybe a cape made of Faygo t-shirts, attached to an actual blue collar.

Luckily, he picked up another sign too so this time I was prepared.

“Oh hurry up, get the camera ready,” he mumbled.

Then he started bitching about unions and how it’s not like the pubic works people were going to come back and fix it, and that, “someone has to do it.” He really carries all of Brookline on his back, you guys.

JANNA’S CURTAINS

Janna bought a house during the height of the pandemic and I finally got off my ass and went over to see it this past weekend. Of course, I had to bring Henry because she had house issues for him to assess.

My favorite thing about Janna buying a house is that she has been having a feud with a curtain rod. It keeps falling down and pulling out parts of the wall with it. SHE EVEN HAD A PROFESSIONAL come and fix it at some point, but it still happened. She sent me pictures of the ruined wall and Henry was so angry about this. “SHE HAD A PROFESSIONAL DO THAT? I COULD HAVE HUNG THAT FROM HERE.” He was seriously angry about this and now I think Henry should start a grassroots fix-it operation where he makes sure women don’t get screwed by repairmen.

Anyway! Corey also knows about the curtain drama, so as soon as we walked into her house (she tried to wave us in from inside but I was like NO YOU HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR AND FORMALLY INVITE US IN JANNA COME ON LET’S GO) I tossed my phone at her and squealed, “TAKE A PICTURE OF ME NEXT TO THE CURTAINS SO I CAN SEND IT TO COREY!!”

It would have been amazing if the curtains fell mid-picture snap.

Oh well.

Her house is so cute though, curtain issues aside! Don’t worry, we’re going back next weekend and Henry will have his HERO BOX with him.

Also, I brought some of my NCT albums to show her and she actually sighed exasperatedly and then tried to deny the exasperation!! I made her sit there while I named all 23 members and Henry was probably thinking, “Finally I get a break from the NCT fanaticism” until I dragged him into the narrative by saying things like, “RIGHT HENRY?” and “HENRY TELL HER WHO YOUR BIAS IS” and he was like, “Can I please just sit here in peace, petting Janna’s dog and watching The Office reruns? We might not have a union, but heroes are entitled to a break too.”

WORDLE

I have only ever posted my dumb Wordle results once ever on Twitter when I guessed AROMA on the second try, but I thought this one was hilarious because I have never in my life used the word TACIT yet somehow it came to my mind? Also, Chooch and I both used the same word for our first guess yesterday – GHOST. We are definitely related.

All three of us play and are very competitive (OK maybe only two of us are).

ENDING FAIRY 

OMG can I end this with an NCT video? Can I please??

I really think I like NCT Dream the best out of all the NCT sub-units?! I have been on a huge Renjun kick lately and I think he might be my current favorite NCT vocalist??

ALSO HE WAS WEARING A PITT SWEATSHIRT IN THIS VIDEO WTF YESSS!?

I bought this jacket from Valfre sometime toward the end of 2019, thinking it would be a good transition jacket to wear once spring 2020 rolled around.

LOL. But then we all know what happened early in 2020.

I was actually only able to wear this jacket once to work on a mild day that winter, and then it eventually found its way to the attic closet with my other winter coats that I would rarely use since leaving the house was not a thing anymore.

Our Pittsburgh office tentatively set a return to office date for April. My department will be operating on their own remote working policy though where we – last I heard, anyway – will only be required to come in twice a month, or more if we want.

Personally, I think I would like to come in once a week because I miss that old routine, I miss my downtown walks, I miss my desk (though we will probably be looking at a desk-share sitch which is not desirable but times they are a’changing etc etc). Obviously I miss my work friends but I really don’t think many people will be choosing to work from the office so I probably still won’t see many people on the days I do opt to go in and also the snack table will probably never be a thing again or food parties or meetings in a conference room (I am sooooo burnt out on virtual meetings – it is really the only thing that I truly HATE about working from home).

And true to form, the stupid trolley is having some type of bridge repair done on the line I take and it won’t be done until fucking summer so now a dumb shuttle has to be used and I have been on that boat before (er, bus) so now the COMMUTE ANXIETY is hitting me already and nothing has even been confirmed yet!!

I found my Valfre jacket when we were cleaning out the attic so one thing’s for sure: I know what I’ll be wearing on my first day back.

This concludes my Sunday night post-from-bed.

Well, here we are, another lousy Monday. I wonder what it’s like to be that person who genuinely does not hate Mondays. Because even when my Mondays aren’t that bad, they’re still Mondays and Mondays might as well just be renamed Yuckday, you know? If we were all in first grade? Entering a contest to rename Monday?

The ration of caffeine to “everything else” in my body might be a bit skewed currently, apologies in advance.

You already know how my super exciting Saturday was so let’s dish about Sunday, a day I hate nearly as much as Mondays because I spend all day thinking about how Monday is the next day.

When I say that nearly ALL WEEKEND was spent sorting through non compos card orders and fanning myself over NCT, I truly am not exaggerating. You can ask Henry. He was here for it all.

Here is one of the cards from our scintillating serial killer Valentine line. I am sure you quite inspired to stock up.

I think one of my favorite parts of Sunday was when Henry was sitting in the dining room diligently constructing cards when 갑자기, he called out, “Is that Ten?” and when I confirmed, he said, “I could tell by his voice.” Henry is a true Kpop Dad, you guys. All the racists out there are making OH HO HO HO SO FUNNY statements about how “they” “all look the same,” and Papa Kpop over here is like I will debunk THAT stereotype with a quickness and also go to the next level with it, you bigots. 

Meanwhile, there were two white guys with beards in Emarosa that I could NEVER tell apart but I can name all 23 members of NCT so do with that what you will.

This is totally apropos of nothing but I just remembered that the other night, Henry made Chooch , who hates lasagna, lasagna for dinner and told him it was “baked pasta.” He ate the whole thing and didn’t say shit about it lol. This is honestly one of the best part of parenting; it’s so wild even after 15 years.

Since henry was so busy making cards all day (weekend), I suggested we get dinner from Mandy’s Pizza so he could have a break lol. But selfishly it was just because Mandy’s has an extensive vegan section of their menu and I am sometimes really missing the taste of pepperoni and sausage on my pizza, you know? I know you know.

We also got some mooncakes and a pandan cake from Onion Maiden because it was a real TREAT OURSELF day.

Speaking of treating myself, I fed myself from an NCT YouTube buffet and when I played Earthquake for the 87th time, this exchange happened:

Henry from the other room, mumbling, “oh. This song again.” It’s the current house anthem.

Me: What if we made a doorbell that, when pushed, projected the Earthquake track video onto the porch?

Henry: *soul leaves body*

Meanwhile, henry was bitching and moaning all day about his ICE SLIP SHOULDER. I do this thing where I act like I’m going to hug him and then I squeeze his shoulder real hard and he falls for it every time. After doing that one last time before bed, henry snapped and said, “YOU JUST CANT HELP YOURSELF CAN YOU” Looooool.

Well, that pretty much sums up my Sunday. Add in a bunch of cat & squirrel convos and you got it dude.

My current brain state has really taken to free-form, anything goes thought purges so we’re gonna keep that up because writing on here has been very therapeutic.

Also part of my therapy package was spending all Friday night doing Kpop cardio and watching hours of NCT YouTube content and laughing out loud which I hardly ever do when I’m watching things. The feeling of joy and excitement that Kpop has brought me over the last six years has been so special to me! It’s just hits different than the hysteria I used to feel over my old repertoire of bands. Like, I feel more inspired? More like I’m part of a secret society even though BTS blew the secret to smithereens?

Whenever people ask me HEY HOW’S IT GOING I always just say something generic to appease them when I really I want to blurt out OMG ITS GOING HILARIOUSLY I JUST WATCHED A 15 MINUTE VIDEO OF JAEMIN’S BRAIN BEING BUILT DIFFERENT.

God bless all the kids who put together these compilation videos so old Kpop bitches like me can laugh away another blah work week. They da real MVPs.

Lol I was jogging in place and watching YouTube when Henry came up behind me and scared the fuck out of me, like I literally jumped and spun around. “You scared me!” I screamed.

“Ugh you’re in your NCT Dream state,” Henry sighed and then mumbled, “oh my god.”

In other non-Kpop news, I’m listening to The Guncle on audio and it’s not as cute/charming/good as I expected it to be.

I sent this to my lil bro Corey and said I still can’t believe our mom ever let him in the car with me back then. He said his most vivid memory of being in my Eagle Talon is of his body pressed into the roof after leaving IKEA because I had so many boxes in the backseat, while I was flying down 376 with the windows down and cigarette smoke blowing back into his face. Big sister goals! The only difference is that my Talon had a CASSETTE PLAYER so I was definitely fumbling for a tape, not a CD lol.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZLFGMbI4b9/?utm_medium=copy_link

Huge life update: I LEFT THE HOUSE. I mean it was just to go to Target but wow, that felt good. Fuck winter. Fuck COVID.

And now Henry is picking up delectable treats.

We are now into the late afternoon segment of Saturday. It’s been a pretty decent day! Except omg every time I pick my phone up there is another news alert about Tom Brady retiring. Like ok so GO AWAY already. Jesus.

Now we’re doing the rest of the ceiling which was supposed to be done last week but then HENRY FELL ON ICE UGH.

Oh!!! When I came back from walking to the library, I told my cat Drew that it was too cold outside and I said it in Korean without even thinking about it!!! I still suck at it though.

I like this style of blogging. Just sitting here thinking about how light and easy it feels to just open the draft and add to it as the day goes along, like an old school written journal which I used to keep but then stopped because it always got too dark LOL ugh ouch.

Have you guys seen that When We Were Young music festival that was announced last week? It makes me laugh because it’s bands that I liked in my 20s but whose median fan base were teenagers. Anyway!! There have been a plethora of Jonny Craig memes generated because of this and it’s been brightening my days because fuck that douchebag you know. Anyway, there are a good bit of bands on that roster that I loved so much back then and it almost makes me want to fly to Vegas in October to attend but I probably won’t because I’ve seen them all more times than I can count and will it really be the same?

HOWEVER. If Chiodos were to announce a full OG lineup reunion, I’d be more inspired.

But until that happens, I probably won’t be bringing back my old side part anytime soon.

Or my bleached blond and chocolate dual-toned hair lol. That was…a real LEWK as the KIDS say.

Guys here is a clip of the kdrama Our Beloved Summer where the character Ung says my favorite Korean word “kapchugi.”

You could honestly turn it into a drinking game. It’s a word that is said A LOT in dramas, almost as much as jinjja which means “really.” I taught you something.

Look who’s actually gracing us with his presence!!! ^^^^ But then he does this annoying things where he walks into the room and goes, “Is that BTS” about whatever I’m watching on TV. He’s the ultimate jerk.

Well guys. It’s been a decent day. I am capping it off with some 막걸리 & NCT content.

I lied. We’re capping off the night with more Valentine packaging.

#ThisIsMyLife

I didn’t get Henry anything for Christmas because I had been working on a photobook compiling every selfie / picture taken of us from 2021, aka our 20th year together. *insert RETCHING sound effects* But I knew that we would have pictures from Xmas and NYE that I’d want to include, therefore, I couldn’t actually get the book printed until this month.

Therefore #2: no Xmas gift for Henry. Big sad.

So then I thought I could just keep it hidden and give it to him for V-Day, except that it was delivered & sitting on the front porch when he came home from work yesterday, in a blatant SHUTTERFLY box.

And I’m a bad actor in situations like this so instead of playing it cool, I wrenched it out of his hands and screamed.

Well, now he just won’t get anything for Valentine’s Day, haha.

DO YOU THINK HE WILL TAKE IT TO WORK AND KEEP IT ON HIS DESK? Yeah probably not.

My favorite part of this was that after I gave it to him and walked away, he said that after the initial warm fuzzies wore off he thought to himself, “Shit, another thoughtful gift that will be lorded over me” and it’s hilarious because I was thinking the same thing as I was making it!

He’ll just have to keep doing projects for me as long as I make him thoughtful gifts, it’ll be a constant passive aggressive cycle until one of us dies, I guess.

WOW ON THAT UPLIFTING NOTE, I’m going back to doing Kpop cardio. Toodleloo my boo.

We’re supposed to be getting some big snowstorm today at some point so Henry is at THE STORE right now while it’s still clear out there and I’m just sitting here watching my fave YouTube channels, thinking about all the things in my head that I want to purge. I’m feeling vulnerable to the nth power lately so this is likely to be A Mess.

It’s our busy greeting card season so the house is imploding with card-making materials, and clutter really does a shitty thing to my mental well-being. Add to that the fact that Henrys grandkids are next door acting like hellions and getting screamed at by their parents and I already feel like I have cabin fever without a single snowflake having fallen.

We are still in the middle of the THROW AWAY FROM THE ATTIC project but it is way too cold this weekend to do work up there so we’re focusing on the Cure section of the house which is almost complete.

This is a passage from a book I read last week and while I’m not in academia, I fucking FELT THIS. I have recently been in a situation at work where I am made to feel this way quite regularly and I thought I could just brush it off but after feeling like shit in a recent meeting in the beginning of the year and trying to bottle it up, it all came pouring out of me yesterday like the most emotional geyser and Henry had to sit with me while I bawled my face off and did the shudder-breathing and my heart was racing so fast and I realized, “is this worth it?” It’s a job. Not a career.

It started in the beginning of this project I was dumped into, when one of my “colleagues” made some shitty comment about how formal education is better than institutional knowledge and ok, ouch. That cut deep. I have always felt inadequate in that department, having never finished college (“oh, I’ll go back once my kid is in school,” she said. “Oh I’ll finish it one day real soon,” she said.) but I feel that I work hard and learn fast and maybe I’m not down with all the cliched and eye-rolling business meeting lingo which basically just makes people sound like they’re expelling empty air and not saying anything real, and maybe I’m not as smart on paper as everyone else there, and maybe I don’t show everyone there my true outgoing personality because I feel so self-conscious about everything else that by the time it’s my turn to speak up, my voice wavers and everything I say is utter nonsense and if anyone who knows me outside of that capacity ever witnessed it, they would say, “This is not the Erin that I know.”

So I guess this year my only goal is to work on being ERIN RACHELLE in every area of my life and stop keeping my head down at work because I feel like a STOOP every single day. Or just find a new job. Lol. Whichever happens first.

(Aso I think I have just reached my WFH limit. I’d like to go into the office at least once a week and feel like a normal human again. I am dying for in person meetings again. Fuck these video calls, I am going to spontaneously combust one day. Hopefully ON VIDEO.)

Oh and in addition to this (stupid, avoidable) stress, I watched the whole season of Maid on Netflix and it triggered so much from the beginning of the very first episode. When I was a kid, I had flashbacks (didn’t know they were real at the time) of my mom running with me in her arms down the steps and out of our first house, with my birth dad chasing right behind her. I was LITTLE then, like still a baby. And I’m seeing it from a third-person POV, like a movie, which is bizarre. But yeah, my mom is a survivor of domestic violence and then I also briefly experienced it when I was a teenager and in a relationship with Psycho Mike. What if I hadn’t gotten out of it??

Every episode of that show made my pulse gallop and I cried so much and felt sick to my stomach. I hope that it helps people currently in an abusive relationship realize that abuse comes in many forms and gives them the courage to leave.

Thanks for letting me share.

On to better things:

Oh never mind. Someone wasn’t prepared and didn’t get enough LED lights so our project is on hold and now I’m frustrated, anxious, and angry so no, I don’t have “better things” to move onto right now.

Let me take a squirrel break. Brb.

Ok I saw my Chubbs on the porch and then Mr Gray Guy popped over for some hazelnuts and then Henry redid the LED lights so it might work now but we’re taking a kdrama break.

I needed a picture of myself wearing blue for some anti-human trafficking campaign thingie so that is what this is. OK??

Henry went to the store and came back with a cinnamon roll-edition Snickers for us to share and I feel moderately better now.

I’ll never forget at the dinner we had after my Pappap’s funeral in 1996, my cousin Ginny (whom I believe is some kind of math genius as a profession) leaned into me and whispered, “Chocolate is good for depression.” My friend Christy was right next to me and heard it too so it’s one of those things we always jokingly reference over the years but damn if it isn’t true.

Speaking of Christy, everyone featured in this picture has agreed to participate in a recreation of it at some point, probably when it’s not gross winter.

PRO TIP APROPOS OF NOTHING: if I have a candle in a pretty container, I like to repurpose it as plant pot once the wick has burned down.

In case you were wondering, the snow has officially started. I hope my squirrels are ok.

Chooch took the T to the mall earlier today with his friends. Whenever he makes a purchase, Henry gets a text because it’s some BABY CREDIT CARD that chooch is so embarrassed about having but none of his friends have credit cards so….? Anyway! He made an $11 purchase at Macy’s and we were making guesses for what we thought it was because dude never shops at Macy’s?? We both settled on either a hat or a face mask because he keeps misplacing his masks and then it becomes everyone’s problem because Ugh Teens. When he came home, he had a frog-face kickball in his arms. That is what he bought at Macy’s.

Last night, Henry and I stopped to get mediocre coffee at Dunkin Donuts on our way home from whatever errands we were running, and this happened:

Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru lady: Have a good night.

Henry, to her: You also.

Henry, to me: I say “you also” now.

If I sent out a family newsletter, I’d include that huge development.

Well, I am going to go and plan a potential roller coaster trip for the future because that usually helps me decompress. I might need more chocolate soon though.

Yo Brenda I’m really excited to tell you something today: sometime last month, I finagled Henry into doing low impact walking workouts. He is very picky about the ones he will do: No Gina B., but he does enjoy himself some Leslie Sansone. However!! The one he seems to like the most is MY BOY, Pittsburgh’s Own PAUL EUGENE.

It must be the matching beards.

In the beginning, he looked just like he does in that photo up there (also my arms are 100% not that thin, that is one hell of an iPhone optical illusion), but gradually he has begun to enjoy it and actually is motivated! He doesn’t act like I am forcing him to do it anymore and he even PUTS FORTH EFFORT!

And I’m excited to announce that starting January 1 (what? cliché you say?), Henry has been doing Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution workout series with me! This is my 4th time doing it (I only officially made it the whole way through twice though) and can attest that it is a wonderful kick-start if you’re trying to make physical changes to your body. It has made me feel SO STRONG and by the end of the program, I was able to do rock star jumps and all kinds of other crazy shit that I never would have imagined possible. (Still suck at push-ups, but there is this one version called the wheel pushup where you get into a back-bend position and do push-ups that way and somehow I was able to do those and felt like a motherfucking Ninja Warrior, bitch.)

I am extremely stoked about this because you guys – Jillian is my queen and also because Henry admitted to me the other day that he likes it! Even though I’m very annoying and quote parts of it like it’s a movie I grew up watching every night on VHS, but he hasn’t yelled at me to stop yet! I have made gentle suggestions over the years that he joins me when I’m exercising and I always get the “I MOVE AROUND ALL DAY AT WORK, MY JOB IS NOT EASY” and I get that, I do, but I also think that there is something to be said for good old-fashioned strength  training and cardio workouts. You know? I’m not fucking bikini body, TRUST, but a regular exercise regimen has really improved the quality of my life. And I’ve seen it change Chooch’s life too, and I want Henry to be the healthiest version of himself as possible!

We are almost done with level 1 & 2 and will be starting 3 & 4 this weekend, and I’m so excited that he’s made it through the first two weeks! The beginning is the toughest part, but as Jillian says, “If you have a WHY, you can tolerate any HOW.”

I’m so stoked about this that I even quickly considered switching professional gears and becoming a life coach, lol, can you imagine? Me? Coaching people on their actual LIVES? No one can fully control what happens in life, any one us could get hit by a bus tomorrow or garroted by the modern day Ted Bundy, but at least we’ll die with the knowledge that we could do a burpee.

LOOK HOW MOTIVATIONAL I AM. I’m going to put that on business card.

We still do Paul Eugene on our Jillian “off” days. Henry enjoys Paul Eugene workouts so much that when I said, “I’m going to buy us Paul Eugene merch. Which color do you want?” he actually took some time to peruse his options. Chooch came downstairs and when he saw us wearing our fresh PE merch, he shook his head in embarrassment, said “No,” and then went right back up to his room. SOMEONE’S JELLY. Maybe I’ll get him a shirt for his birthday. AND THEN WE CAN WEAR THEM TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK TOGETHER! I always wanted to go to an amusement park in matching outfits.

Today’s post is brought to you by photos in my phone &, well, random stuff lately AS THE TITLE SUGGESTS.

Henry and I were both off the Monday after Christmas so we spent a good chunk of the morning at the mall exchanging and returning stuff because somehow I bought a hoodie for Chooch at Zumiez that was actually a girl’s hoodie which is fine because fuck gender rules, except that the hoodie was cut short and how I didn’t notice this when I bought it is beyond me but Chooch liked the hoodie so I just needed to exchange it for a bigger size; hilariously, Henry was also returning something – he tried to be all cool a few weeks ago by TREATING HIMSELF to a denim jacket at Vans and was so confident about it that he didn’t even try it on. As soon as we got home, I looked at the  tag and laughed, “You know this is a women’s jacket right?” and it did not fit him AT ALL. What a stoop. So he returned it and I got shoes, lol.

Wow, I wasn’t planning on regaling you with all that consumerism, yet here we are. Gotta get that word count in.

Then later we had to go to Target. I really wanted a smoothie bowl for lunch so that determined which Target we would be going to, which meant we would have to go through the Liberty Tunnel. And as luck would have it, an accident or something happened right as were about 3/4 of the way through the tunnel so traffic came to a standstill. At first, I didn’t even notice because we had started listening to Seth Rogen’s “Yearbook” memoir-ish thing and it was entertaining enough to distract me until eventually I noticed that we hadn’t moved in some time and that this wasn’t just the ordinary red light I figured it to be.

About 10 minutes into this traffic standstill, someone near the front of the tunnel unfailingly began honking their horn, creating a beeping chorus ripple effect among other frustrated drivers throughout the tunnel. Because beeping always works in these situations. The honking collective forms a giant crane which then lifts the obstacles blocking traffic into the air so that we can all freely pass. Everyone knows this. Crazy that no one has been able to make that actually happen yet.

“These are all the stupid unvaccinated fuckers,” Henry mumbled, and for once I heartily agreed with Henry’s hypothesis.

Another 10 minutes passed and Henry noted that several people farther back behind us had gotten out of their cars and were milling about. Henry went on a lengthy rant about carbon monoxide, etc and how stupid these people were, and it was around this point where I had become super slap-happy so maybe those fumes were seeping into our car, I dunno. I would have asked Henry but the only thing worse than being mansplained is actually asking to be mansplained. I made a mental note to google it later but then I forgot and now I just don’t care,

Two guys separately walked past our car toward the front of the tunnel. This was amusing to me because what were they going to do if traffic started moving while they were so far from their cars??

Meanwhile, round three of Project Honk was playing out.

Eventually, the Tunnel Investigators began their return trip, stopping at every car to announce their findings.

“Accident!” they were saying in tandem, like wow really no shit. I’m pretty sure we all figured that out in between pondering the meaning of life for the last 30 minutes.

Duh.

Just as they were about to get to our car, traffic at the front of the tunnel started moving, so the guys began hollering, “WE’RE MOVING!” Henry luckily had his window down a little from when we were originally trying to determine what the Tunnel Investigators were reporting, so I leaned across Henry’s gut and screamed, and I do mean KPOP-concert level screamed, “YEAH!” out the window. Henry shot me that stern WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF! scowl that he’s perfected over the last two decades of not only being a dad but also my BOYFRIEND lol.

This whole scene was cracking me up so bad that I spit all over myself from all the laughing I was doing. Henry meanwhile was harboring big regERTZ for choosing a Target that required us to traverse through the tunnel in the first place, but honestly – it’s not like we were late for a hot date. Although now I was hungrier for my smoothie bowl which ended up being not great. I paid extra to have it made with coconut milk instead of coconut water, and had selected turmeric and something else that I forget now as add-ons and THEY DID NOT ADD THEM nor was it made it with coconut* milk – I could tell. What a rip off.

*(LOL I originally typed cococunt – this is my new word.)

LOOK AT THESE THREE LITTLE BRATS! Actually, they’re not so little. They’re pretty fucking fat and I slip sometimes and call them Chubs. Then I feel bad. Also, ignore my crappy porch/yard. It’s winter and we don’t care about it right now.

Henry got a new Roku speaker for the TV and the first thing he did to test it was put on the video for NCT127’s “Kick It.” KPOP DAD IS ALWAYS ON DUTY.

Meanwhile, in Penelope and Drew’s world:

• it’s always Halloween.

• opening a book is an invitation to plop down across me.

• exceling at the worst hiding spots.

And now for some random photos from my camera roll:

I didn’t decorate that much this year for Christmas, but I will definitely miss how cute  the buffet looks! These glass Christmas trees could almost pass for year-round decor though, DON’T YOU AGREE.

I got this plastic hand from Castle Blood last October and it’s always in the pocket of my jean jacket, which I have been able to wear fairly regularly during this mild-ish winter. Anyway, I noticed recently that I subconsciously hold onto it when my hand is in my pocket, and it is actually very comforting to me. It’s like an emotional support hand and I highly recommend that everyone get one!

I went to Michaels and bought a bunch of their holiday LED strands after Christmas when everything was 70% off and a lot of them could easily be used all year, like these pretty stars!

I sent this to Chooch the other day lol. Leslie Sansone really said that in one of her videos!

Hey speaking of Leslie, I’m gonna peace out here because it’s almost time to exercise.

Hello Internet. It is 7:24am and Henry and I are departing our house for Cleveland. We both have the day off work but Chooch went back to school today so I thought, “What could we do that’s fun but doesn’t take us too far away” and then through the power of YouTube I accidentally stumbled across a vlog where some vegan went to a cafe and got pink vegan cinnamon rolls AND A PINK LATTE. Come on, we all know I’m not above novelties foods and bevs, so I was all over this like a Jersey Shore girl and a Plan B pill.

Unfortunately, upon more research I learned that this joint – the 27 Club – is owned by Machine Gun Kelly which is v. cringe but I want the latte so am choosing to ignore this gross fact. Shh.

Besides, we’re listening to Taemin in the car to ward off the sleazy MGK vibes.

Gee wiz guys it’s 11:05 and I forgot I started a LiveBlog lol. But we’re done with 27 Club and I am here to say it was…worth it ugh. Lol. I will post more about it on the way home because now we’re going to West Side Market, supposedly. Henry went rogue and made the unilateral decision.

12:16pm: We just left a pointless stop downtown CLE and are en route to Otani Sushi and Henry is stressing me out because he has to USE A BATHROOM like ASAP and I’m over here like plz stop talking about this.

Anyway, here are some pictures from the cafe, which was actually a pleasant experience as I said above.

Henry enters the building.

Little known fact about me: I never was a fan of Biggie. Tupac or GTFO.

Barely anyone reads this so I’m confident that it shall remain a little known fact!

I got my pink latte with almond milk and salted maple syrup and it was actually VERY nice. I know it’s all about the beans but also the type of syrups a cafe uses can make or break the place you know? This maple flavoring was very mellow and not cloying at all. So even apart from the fact that it’s adorably pink, this shit tasted great too.

I guess henry liked his cold brew. Who cares. (I just asked him and he said yeah and also it made him remember the LIQUIDITY of it which exacerbated his need for A BATHROOM lol).

I’m really glad that we went there before they took down their Christmas decor because yes.

All of the stools had various dead singers on them. Ours had Amy Winehouse on one side and whoever was on the other side looked like Jonny Craig at first and I could tell Henry was trying not to make any OFF COLOR jokes about how too bad Jonny made it past 27 wow did I really just do that for him? Oh well. I forgot to look at the picture more closely before we left so I never did actually see who it was.

Was Henry enjoying where he was right then, Y or N.

You guys – these vegan cinnamon rolls were made fresh upon ordering, came out piping hot, with this banging pitaya icing. I LOVED THEM. Of course I shared with Henry, who only expressed mediocre feelings toward them. I think he was in pink shock though.

Um I also bought a hoodie because my eyesight might be fledgling but it’s still 20/20 when it comes to design. This hoodie is THE LIMIT. I’m also obsessed with the 27 Club’s logo. Ugh.

12:30pm: NEWS ALERT – Henry just RELIEVED himself at a REBEL gas station. He is so happy now.

Also our Waze is still set to Korean so Henry nearly missed a hidden cop up ahead lol.

Overall, I am very satisfied with my experience at 27 Club even though it had the equivalent cringe factor of, say, visiting a vape shop owned by Jonny Craig.

Ugh I bought a bottle of Voss water earlier at Sheetz and I will never buy it again. It tastes awful and I think it’s the AQUAMIN that’s in it whatever that is?? It reminds me of, and this will mean nothing to you, the water fountain in the office of Dr. Lewis, the “fat doctor” my mom used to go to in the 80s to get probably unsafe “diet pills” and my brother Ryan and I would always have to sit in the waiting room with all the other “it’s this or Jazzercize” desperate broads. Ugh the water fountain there had the grossest vitamin infused flavor.

1:22pm: just had an underwhelming visit to my fave vintage joint, Flower Child. I mean it was still fun to walk around but there was nothing that really caught my eye and felt worth arguing with Henry over until he acquiesces and agrees that, yes Erin, we really do need yet another swag lamp in the house even though there is literally nowhere else to put one.

I cried IS THIS FOR COCAINE and Henry was like, “um I don’t see how, but ok.” Then he just strolled off into the sunset next room, leaving me to wonder.

There weren’t even really any JESUS pictures that I needed. Oh well. Next time maybe.

Here are pictures from when we went to the Arcade which was completely empty and the restrooms were locked, causing Henry to cry because this was at the height of his bathroom urgency and even Starbucks down the street was closed lol.

As of 1:31 I hate Henry because he SNEEZED with no warning and now he’s sniffling ughhhhhh.

Meanwhile we’ve been to Cleveland approx. 50x and I still never know where anything is.

2:09: Hi. We’re at Otani Japanese because they have veg/vegan sushi options and henry is being a big cry baby because he wanted WONTON SOUP and i allegedly shamed him somehow? But then he had a big RISE-UP moment and called the waiter over to add it to his order, like ok cool Henry, snap those big boy pants suspenders.

LOLOLOL it’s WONTON SOUP time:

Oh shit hello vegan sushi:

Hey wanna know something hilarious? After we devoured this, our waiter came over and asked, “are you guys vegan?”

“I’m vegetarian,” I said, scared that he was going to say, “ok because actually that one roll has actual tuna in it” but apparently they have an entirely separate vegan menu with EVEN MORE OPTIONS than what’s on the regular menu and it would have been nice if the host had given us that with the other menus. I just really thought the menu looked odd because I had sworn when I looked at the website a few weeks ago, I had seen a shit ton of vegan sushi rolls that had me gurgling my saliva but then I just assumed that maybe I had gotten restaurants mixed up in my head because that’s definitely an Erin Thing to do.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I’ll be coming back to Cleveland sooner rather than later, I guess.

4:16lm: at a rest stop outside of PA, henry decided to treat himself to a Blizzard. Of course I chose for him (snickerdoodle) and then spent a solid minute having an internal convo with my alter egos about how ridiculous of a word “snickerdoodle” is. Then I started imagining Chooch working at DQ and instead of just handing Blizzards upside down to customers, throwing it in the air and then drop-kicking it over the counter because that would be a very Chooch Thing to do.

Anyway, this Blizzard was not snickerdoodle? It had chocolate slivers in it? What the hell?

I mean it was still good because Blizzards gon’ Blizz (…what?) but that was no snickerdoodle I’ve ever tasted.

Ok well we should be home in about a half hour so goodbye.