Hello from somewhere in Maryland I think. We left shortly after I logged off from work at 5:30 to start our first leg of this season’s poorly-planned road trip. I’m not even giving our final destination on here for fear of jinxing it, as it’s been jinxed numerous times already and it’s actually amazing we even left Pgh at this point.

Anyway, it’s 8:40pm and I talked Henry’s ear off for the last three hours (he looooves when I tell him stories from when I was in high school, just fucking SAVORS that shit like it’s a piece of fresh jerky) so I thought I’d hop on this trash pile and type some things, post some pics, you know, things us BLOGGERS do.

I dunno why I screamed that bit.

Relevant to this drive, and I’ll tell you why in a minute calm down, here is a picture of Chooch from the weekend when he was trying to watch The Adam Project which made me scoff dramatically, “Ugh, Ryan Reynolds” and Chooch asked, “Why do you hate him again?” prompting Henry to answer from the dining room, “Because he hurt someone or something…”

Ok first of all? STFU don’t answer for me.

Second of all, he hurt ALANIS MORISSETTE (and also Scarlett Johansson but I was focused on Alanis at the mo’) so I started screaming about this and Chooch was like “ok well I don’t know who that is so…”

And also, he just seems like an asshole. Like the type of guy in high school who you never wanted to have to sit near because you knew at some point he was going to openly make fun of you for having braces or something.

That kind of guy.

Also, BLAKE LIVELY?? Ugh.

I mean she literally was the worst part of Gossip Girl but cool. Marry her & then expect us to care?!

This morning, I woke up to an Alanis song on the radio and then felt inspired in the car to play some of my faves and then from there somehow I got on a Paula Cole / Shawn Colvin / Jewel kick so Henry was really loving life, especially when I put on Sarah McLachlan’s Fumbling Towards Ecstasy album in its entirety and proceeded to dredge up the Psycho Mike years which is another topic henry loves because now not only is he my chef, caretaker, and chauffeur but crisis counselor too.

“Man, I really had no idea who I was back then,” I murmured, lost in 1997/1998 for a minute.

“And you do now?” Henry sneered.

“Uh yeah. I’m born-again Korean?!”

I miss the cats so much already this is the worst part of vacation. :( My mom will be staying with them but I swear Drew knew since last night that we were leaving. She saw the suitcases in my room and just knew. Then when Henry was packing up the car today, she ran onto the back porch and sulked, ughhhh my heart.

Still thinking about this s’mores sundae Henry & I shared from Sugar Spell on Sunday. Usually we’d partake in the pint preorder but figured we’d switch it up and just get a sundae. It was decadent! Of course henry cried because I allegedly ate “all the good parts.” He also tried to criticize me for choosing banana as one of the scoop flavors but it ended up tasting sooooo good with the s’mores accoutrements – waiting for my apology.

Oh man, now .38 Special’s Caught Up In You is on the radio as if I needed more reasons to revisit the past. Goddamn, this song.

HOLD THE PHONE, I just got a story from Henry regarding his middle school days! I mentioned that MOLLY HATCHET opened for .38 Special when I saw them in 1997 with Lisa and Henry said that he will always remember middle school dances (“Not ‘dances’! One dance!” Henry just yelled as I’m reading aloud what I’m typing) where JOCKOS requested Molly Hatchet’s “Green Grass & High Tides” and I fixated on the JOCKOS part because I didn’t understand what he meant so I kept repeating, “JOCKOS?”

And he’d be like “YEAH JOCK. Os.”

So then I would say, “JACQUE O’S?”

And he’d be like “yeah.”

And I’d be like “Who the fuck is Jacque O?”

Like he said it with such certainty that I’d understand.

And then he’d say “NO. JOCKOS. YOU KNOW. JOCKS.”

Oh. Jocks. Sorry. In my school day we just called them “jocks.” That was good enough. No need for the extra syllable.

Apropos of nothing, this oatmeal is FUCKING BONKERS. 100% recommend this. Gimme a sponsorship deal because I would do dumb blog ad spots for this shit WEEKLY without giving a single fuck about selling out. It’s so good that I brought it on vacation with me!!

Henry didn’t dance with anyone at the middle school dance, btw. I just remembered to ask him now. He said, “It was 8th grade. No one danced.” Things were different in the 90s I guess because I remember being in 6th or 7th grade and having my HEART BROKEN because Chris L. danced with Monica L. to VANESSA WILLIAMS’ SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST and if I told you I didn’t think about that more than once when Desperate Housewives was on TV, I’m sure you’d know I was lying.

Pfft. Chris L. What a Ryan Reynolds-type he was though. Literally always braced myself for him to say something brutal all through elementary school but still had the dumbest crush on him SIGH.

</3

“There’s a 24-hours Dunkin Donuts,” Henry pointed out.

“Oh my god” I yelled in my high-pitched mocking voice, so now he’s back to stewing in the drivers seat.

Michael Jackson’s THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL just came on and it will never not sound like he’s saying “high giggles” instead of “high heels.” My mom and I used to argue about it when I was little because I insisted it was GIGGLES and she’d be all BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

“What did you wear to the dance?” I just asked Henry, because I’m still thinking about this.

“I don’t know! It was 40 years ago!”

“Was it polyester?” I probed. (Ah, classic polyester probe.)

“Maybe?! I mean it was the 70s…”

(Gentle reader, it is at this point that I’d like to point out that my middle school dance was in the NINETIES.)

“Do you have pictures?!”

“No! IT WAS THE 70s! Kids didn’t walk around with cameras!”

God ok Hemorrhaging Hank, calm down.

Ok I’m signing off now. I might not stop back tomorrow but possibly will return on Sunday which is going to be A Big Driving Day.

Tata.

UPDATE: I am now BLASTING Alanis’ “Uninvited” so I eagerly woke Chooch up in the backseat to manically shout DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

“NO!” he hissed around his FORKED TONGUE OF TEENAGER.

“It’s Alanis Morissette!” I cried giddily.

“WHO CARES!” he cried back.

“Not Ryan Reynolds,” I mumbled.

You guys! Yesterday was my first day back to the office! We were given the option to stay at home fulltime (most people happily ate that choice up) or to select a hybrid schedule. I chose to just come in one day a week to break up the monotony but mostly to have at least one day free of screaming demon kids.

I was actually SO EXCITED Monday night. No nerves at all, and I guess it’s because I knew I wouldn’t be going back to a packed department so the stress and pressure was very low. I had my outfit all picked out and I was READY! I actually bought this shirt at the end of 2020 when we *thought* we were returning to work at the beginning of 2021. Oh, ha ha ha.

I love it so much – the button on the back of the collar is a tiny elephant!!

Henry the Dearheart* drove me to work because the TROLLEY is under construction as per uje and I was panicking at the prospect of dealing with the SHUTTLE which is so unreliable that even Chooch was like “fuck this noise, I’ll find a gd bus to take to school instead.” Chooch is way more adventurous with pub.trans. than I am though so this was no big deal for him. He knows how to look that shit up.

*(This one time in the infant stages of our relationship, like PRE-CHOOCH, Henry and I went to a flea market and he held the door open for some old lady, who in turn called him DEARHEART and that was one of those super bland to most people moments that became seared into my memory and I still think of it often. Why, tho. And also the fact that there was a sign on the same door that said NO WHEELIES and I didn’t know what that meant so Henry had to explain that wheelies are those dumb shoes with wheels on them and evidently that flea market has/had a big infestation of hooligans-on-wheels.)

Anyway, I was mildly anxious on the drive there only because I thought we were going to be late. (“Who will know?” Henry asked, and he’s not wrong.)

But then the weirdest thing happened: he dropped me off down the street from my building and I walked down the sidewalk like I belonged on it, entered my building, said hello to the security guard, got in the elevator, pushed “10”—-it was like I was on auto-pilot. Muscle memory after all of this time. Strode right into the department like it hadn’t been two fucking years since I last worked from my desk.

There were only 5 other people there that day: Jeannie, Sharon, Lucas, Sandy, and Dawn who recently joined our department but has worked for the firm since the 90s. I had never met her in person before because our department rarely interacts face-to-face with practice assistants, etc so it was really cool to get to chat with her! I was SUPER STARVED for conversation and I think I may have exhausted her a little – she kept nervously laughing and saying, “Oh jeez” in response to all of the FASCINATING ASIDES I kept blurting out from my desk. I calmed down a little after lunch though.

BACK IN THE OFFICE!

It was so awesome to see Sandy, Jeannie, and Lucas too! I sadly never got around to seeing Sharon (I’m not even sure where she was stationed) but she actually used to work in our department back when I first started, and then left about a year later, only to come back during the pandemic! So that’s really cool and I have to make a point of seeking her out on my next Tuesday there (in two weeks – vacation is next week!).

The actual work-portion of the day was actually pretty normal, if you ignore the fact that I now sit at a completely bare desk. To be honest, it felt almost like some of the pre-pandemic Fridays when tons of people would be working from home or just off in general. Fridays had become ghost towns there, so it kind of felt like a more extreme version of that.

Some things I forgot about:

• how gross the coffee is
• how the water barely gets lukewarm
• how fucking FREEZING IT IS

Oh! And I got to meet my gal Beth on the 11th floor to get my new ID badge! Finally, after 12 years of enduring the ugliest picture of myself which then eventually wore off so I looked like a ghost (i.e. a huge improvement).

Seeing her familiar face was another blast of normalcy

Things didn’t get REAL until it was time for my lunch time walk. People kept saying that downtown had changed a lot, gotten “rough” since the pandemic, and it was sadly…kind of true. :( Just felt real sketchy and rundown. I ended up walking to the Strip and so much has changed in that area that I felt really disoriented.

Here are some pictures. I didn’t take very many because I was on the phone with DUMB HENRY off and on.

This area still smells like piss so there’s one constant for you.

This whole fucking area was new-to-me. It looks like it’s about to be a yuppie utopia. Can’t wait.

I did some new cafes that I will be hitting up in the coming weeks though. Look out, cafes.

On the way back, I was waiting to cross the street when I heard manic mumbling behind me. I was like, “OMG Lord, please say it’s so….” and I slowly turned to see THE ONE AND ONLY DOWNTOWN JESUS. He is still around!! Or, has recently risen. Either way, he was there and then I saw him AGAIN when I was leaving work. What a fucking GREAT DAY. You can read more about Downtown Jesus and see some pictures of him here and here, thank you.

What else…my former supervisor admitted to me in an email with other people copied that I was correct about something and she was incorrect, and it was SUCH A BIG DEAL, like something that I have waited 10 long years for, that I considered printing the email but the firm got new printers during the pandemic and I didn’t feel like trying to figure out how to use that shit. Baby steps, you guys. It was baby’s first day back to the real world, after all.

Then I came home and the cats were like, YOU BETRAYED US, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!? And the squirrels were completely out of food?! Henry and Chooch were home by the afternoon!? Anyway, when I came home, one of my Buddys was in the driveway, and please you have to believe me because I do not lie on here unless it’s a blatantly obvious hyperbole, but HE LITERALLY STOOD UP WHEN HE SAW ME AND THEN RAN TO ME, YOU GUYS. He was *that* hungry. Starved. POOR WOODLAND CREATURE!!! And Penelope was sprawled out on me nearly all night.

So, there you have it. Me dipping my toe into the social office waters. One day a week is a really good start. Maybe I will eventually up it to two. I AM SUPER WILD AND CRAZY LIKE THAT.

I’ll leave you with my current favorite NCT Dream song.

IM NOT OK LEAVE ME ALONE BYE.

Hi. Today I got my hair done for the first time since way before the pandemic because even though it was manageable pre-pandemic, things took a turn over the last two years and while I had some good hair days here and there, I was really starting to look like I just rolled out of a hole in the side of a mountain. Plus, I’m going back to the office this Tuesday, and then vacation the week after, so…it was time for some blending.

This was right after I got home. I went to Sergio’s which is where I used to go years and years ago until my fave stylist opened her own salon with her mom & some other Broad but then she left that place too and I was like “look I can’t keep following you” because I have gone down this path too many times and at some point convenience for me has got to win.

So, back to Sergio’s. I had a new-to-me stylist who got ‘er done. She and the receptionist gal loved all of my accessories.

“My son thinks I’m so embarrassing,” I shrugged.

“NO. YOU ARE COOL. You have LAYERS to your personality and we keep discovering more,” my stylist said as the receptionist nodded in agreement so I guess we know where I’ll be going from now on.

And here is how my hair held up after I did some kickboxing tonight:

I like it! Of course henry and chooch see no difference but their opinion doesn’t rank anyway.

Well that’s all for now.

Guess what? My blog is fixed! I can upload photos once again. So here are the ones I was originally basing my dumbo Friday Five around.

First, let’s talk about how I suddenly LOVE the fact that Chooch bought a 3D printer! He has been making things and leaving them for me to find and I want to say that it’s the cutest thing ever BUT there is a dark, truth-y side to this which is that he is just desperate to practice printing things right now and likely couldn’t think of anything he wanted to print for himself…

SHINEE!!

NCT DREAM!!

And also assisting with enabling my Kpop obsession, we have this NCT lightstick necklace made by the coolest pin maker / artist I know, The Idol Collective! She originally posted these as earrings and perhaps a little known fact about moi is that I don’t have my ears pierced anymore so I frantically asked her if she was also going to make necklaces AND SHE CAME THRU FOR UR GIRL.

Being fanatical about things is what keeps the heart young…

…until you join Scientology….

In more kpop trinket news, my friend Alyson’s birthday was last week so I made her an original bday card with laughing toilets on the front and designed this adorable Taemin pin. I love that Alyson has also become a Taemin stan, even though she is totally METAL – it just shows that there is even room in even the most hardcore of hearts for Lee Taemin! It’s been fun to share my Taemin love with her over the last several years <3

Finished Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution on Friday for the 4th or 5th time! I REALLY love this workout program and try to knock it out about twice a year. It has been one of the only programs that has been effective for me as far as toning and definition. I know Jillian is very “love her or hate her” for most people but I genuinely love her so much because she has been the only trainer that has kept me motivated and helped me change my life. If I ever saw her IRL, I would 100% cry my face off.

So yeah – Body Revolution. Highly recommend it!!

Oh, what’s up BACK PORCH SEASON? It was real fun while it lasted. Now it’s about 20 degrees (Fahrenheit, because this is dumb-dumb America) and snowing at the end of March. Sigh.

Well, that concludes my Sunday quickie. Now I must go back to obsessively YouTubing “vegan restaurants in [city]” videos to prepare for our road trip WHICH BETTER NOT CHANGE AGAIN OMFG.

This was supposed to be a Friday Five but my blog broke and wouldn’t allow me to upload the pictures I wanted to add so I had to wait for my IT Team (see also: Henry) to investigate and troubleshoot only to concede and call WordPress or whoever, I dunno who he called, but when they called him back, he was UNAVAILABLE so things are still not resolved as of Saturday morning. I figured I could at least get the word portion of this shit post down while waiting for Henry to do NOTHING (he’s currently in the kitchen making his gourmet breakfast – literally has been caressing some scrambled concoction on the stove for a solid 15 minutes, going back and forth from the fridge with more impromptu ingredients).

I guess this will just be a post without pictures, I dunno.

1. The Family Who Drinks Water Together…

I saw a tweet the other day where someone was asking, “Has anyone over the age of 40 actually seen their parents drink water” and it made me pause, because NO. NO I HAVEN’T. This sent me on a spiral, squeezing my brain for every instance of a family meal I could conjure, and NO WE NEVER DRANK WATER, and in addition to that, WE NEVER DRANK THE COMPLIMENTARY WATER provided to us at restaurants. Holy shit, this is real. We drank MILK (prob Vitamin D) out of FROSTED MUGS with dinner. My dad had like 4 legit vintage pop machines in the garage, we always had 2 liters of Fresca and some Ruby Red shit that my mom liked, and tons of sugary juice to wash down our bowls of sugary cereals in the AM – it is no wonder I have spent most of my life struggling with my weight!!! I was doomed from the start!

I never acknowledged “water as bev” even into my TWENTIES. I relied on Mountain Dew and, I dunno, wine coolers exclusively for hydration until one of my friends was like, “Do you not drink water? YOUR TEETH ARE GOING TO ROT!” And then I started panicking because ew. So eventually I got on the H2O wagon but I had to use flavored water as training wheels for a bit.

Now as an adult with my own family, we never have pop in our house. The liquid portion of my diet consists solely of water, coffee, and kombucha. Thank you.

2. Chooch’s HARD TRUTHS learned at McDonald’s

Apparently, Chooch’s friend (who works less than him) got a raise. Chooch was furious about this. “Why did he get a raise?” I asked. “I dunno, because he asked for one,” Chooch scoffed.

“So…ask for one!” I cried, because le duh right?

Chooch started sputtering off about how he doesn’t know how to do that and this blows my mind because Chooch is a fucking go-getter and I literally cannot imagine him at any sort of crossroads over this. So I started giving him suggestions of ways to ask for a raise which is actually so rich considering I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR A RAISE MYSELF.

“I’m just so mad that I work harder than everyone else, but get paid less,” Chooch huffed. OH SONNY BOY, that ain’t just a McD’s thang. That is what we call THE FUCKING REAL WORLD.

3. Spring Break Stress

You might recall several posts ago I alluded to our spring break trip and said something about how I didn’t want to give any details because we had already changed the itinerary/destination 4 or 5 times since November and I didn’t want to jinx anything. Well, just the mere mention was enough because LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT we were in the process of securing hotels, etc. and something made me look up the operating times for one of the parks we had on the list, and um…they changed their dates…

….to weekends only.

So out of curiosity, I looked up the other two parks we were going to hit in the same state, AND UM, SAME THING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. The whole entire reason we even planned this road trip was because that state had theme parks that were open EVERY DAY in April.

This sounds so whiny and First World Probs-ish, and I get that. But I’m mostly just kind of in a state of shocked hilarity because we have really weird luck with spring breaks. We have a new destination that is going to sadly cost us a ton more but I guess that is price we have to pay in order make FAMILY MEMORIES???

Henry was like, “We can still go to the other place another time,” and I literally stamped my feet and cried, “BUT I WANTED TO GO THIS TIME!!” LOL – the Veruca Salt side of my personality was 100% primped and primed by one John Stonick aka Oh Honestly, Pappap. Henry used to try to rehabilitate my spoiledness, but um….you see how well that’s worked.

So anyway, we have a NEW itinerary in place now and I just want to say that I am well aware of the fact that I am in a position to even go away AT ALL with my family, especially considering it wasn’t that long ago when we struggled to even afford a weekend vacation. Remembering that brought me back down to earth RULL QUICK.

On the bright side, it’s given me brand new vegan places to investigate because I like to be prepared when we go to other cities so that Chooch and I are properly and efficiently fed with little room for the HANGER PAINS to manifest.

Me, to Henry: “Do you hate going to vegan places when we travel?”

Me, answering for him in my Henry Voice: “No I don’t really care I just like to eat food.”

Me, back as Erin again: *Cracks self up*

Henry: *tunes out entire scene*

4. BLOG UPDATE: 

HENRY IS ON THE PHONE WITH THE BLOG PEOPLE RIGHT NOW AND HAD TO GIVE THEM MY BLOG NAME AND ADDRESS – HELLO BLOG FIXER, IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS!

5. SHEEPISH STENCH

Today is the birthday of my NCT Dream bias, Huang Renjun! I am going to celebrate by watching YouTube compilations of him being adorable/spicy/savage.

Here is a video of him cooking dumplings, in case you want that Food Network vibe:

And because I love options, here is one in case you (or you, or you guys back there, or Sally over yonder) feel like participating! I think he may be my favorite vocalist across the whole NCT spectrum too btw.

In case you’re writing a book about me and need additional facts for the “42 or 13?

” chapter.

(JANNA IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU BETTER WATCH BOTH VIDEOS)

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When we were cleaning out the attic last weekend, I found an old Minolta camera, most likely it was my grandparents house. I brought it downstairs to put with my other vintage cameras (almost all of them were my grandparents’!) and I realized, well shit, I have a lot of old cameras just sitting around.

So I thought, “HEY ERIN, wouldn’t it be refreshing to start using real-ass film cameras again?” I mean, not for everyday use, but I thought it would be particularly fun to take a film camera with me when we go on our road trips. I actually had wanted to dust off my Holga and take that with us on our rollercoaster road trip last summer, but Henry the Lazy Oaf never got around to buying film (I don’t fuck with the boring aspects of photography) and also it is so frustrating to get Holga film developed.

But I brought it up again, this time using the Minolta we just unearthed. And Henry was like, “OK it is easy to get film for this.” And then, “OK I ordered film for this.” And then when the film was delivered, “OK I put the film in this.” So I guess I will take the Minolta with us in April when we go on our spring break road trip but then I probably won’t be able to afford to get the film developed afterward because GAS PRICES will probably milk our accounts.

Anyway, here are some pictures of my camera collection! Some might still be usable but there are some that probably definitely aren’t.

We can get film for this little dude and it’s such a petite size that it will fit in my FANNY PACK so I might try and take this babe to an amusement park at some point??

That Keystone camera is like one of those accordion kinds and I think it might be impossible to use but we’ll see!

Isn’t this amazing!? It doesn’t even look like a camera when it’s closed up.

Not pictured because I can’t find them (but certainly they’re somewhere, I mean, we live in a duplex. There’s not many places for them to go):

• A Pentax from the 1980s – I think this is from HENRY’S YOUNG DAYS??
• A Diana
• My old Nikon from the 1990s
• One of those super vintage TLR cameras that you look down into – I bought this on eBay years ago

I just need a hobby you guys. I know I’ve dabbled in photography from time to time in the past but I think it would be fun to just NOT BE SERIOUS about it, first of all, and second of all, to hopefully let this help me be OK with imperfection because you know how unpredictable film can be. I also think it would be a nice family thingie to make real-life photo albums of our vacations.

I will probably lose interest after the first roll of film is a fail, but I’ll keep you posted I guess, lol ugh.

When it’s 1997 and you’re at the mall trying to use up that last picture on the roll so you can drop your film off at Ritz.

Double prints.

One hour processing.

And your sidekick Brian is like “You are embarrassing.”

(This was totally at Kaufmann’s in Century III Mall, btw. RIP Kaufmann’s. RIP Century III Mall.)

Blurry picture of Heather, me, and Justin during the summer of 1998, when we went to the Pittsburgh airport in the middle of the night for no reason other than we had nothing else to do and wanted to get ice cream cones at the McDonald’s there. I remember setting up my camera to take this picture while we were hanging out at one of the gates, waiting for planes, and spying on an airport employee who was sprawled out along some chairs, fast asleep.

It’s crazy to think that back then, you could do that. Just…chill at an airport for no reason, and no one questioned you. Just three dumb teenagers clomping from gate to gate like we had every right to be there.

Then on the way home driving down 279 in the dark, I inexplicably drove my car into one of the out of control truck ramps to nowhere, and amazingly didn’t get my car stuck but definitely succeeded in freaking everyone out, but that was kind of my specialty back then.

The late 90s were lit.

After we ate lunch (that bouncy grilled cheese, yo!) on Saturday, I wanted to go out and be one with nature because it was practically 70 degrees out! March is truly so underrated. It is like, the month of hope and thawing hearts. Like, winter is finally in the rear view mirror and we’re pedaling up toward the tulips.

Since we were in the area, I suggested that we just go to Ohio Pyle with all the other nature riffraff. I knew it would be crowded (for nature) because it was such a beautiful day, but it wasn’t overwhelmingly bad.

Henry was annoyed because I’m never dressed appropriately for “nature walks” but more like “teenager going to the mall.” Whatevelyn.

DANGER DANGER.

Apparently, you can go WHITE WATER RAFTING on this river-thing. It made me have a flashback to the time we went to Tennessee a long time ago and all of the girls in our group pre-planned a white water rafting trip but didn’t include me and I was sad at the time.

“Now that I think about it,” I mused to Henry while staring out into the raging rapids, “that was probably for the best.”

Henry laughed, but it was the kind of laughter that is more like a hard, staccato cough meant to signify the words “YOU AIN’T KIDDING.”

Speaking of raging rapids, I would not be sad if Kennywood got rid of their Raging Rapids and put in an RMC single-rail or something equally as good and non-water-ridey.

Henry was annoyed because I matched so match. (Erin from 2024 here to correct that last “match”to “well.” Ugh.)  I was like a walking cringefest and he was so happy to be seen with me. Actually, though, I put this outfit together because I had recently bought that shirt and the owner of the Etsy shop was like I WILL GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT IF YOU TAKE PICS IN THE SHIRT so later on, I made Henry TAKE PICTURES OF ME IN THE SHIRT and as usual it caused a huge blowout because his specialty is shooting me from all my bad sides/angles (to be fair, there are many so his odds are good). More on that in a separate post because I gotta stretch out that content, dear reader(s).

o.O

We had about 87 fights in this area which was kind of stupid considering how many openings he had to OOPS push me in. He was mad because he was desperate to go inside the visitor’s center for some reason and I was like, “Why, it’s just gonna be a bunch of maps and rock formation dioramas.”

Meanwhile on the other side of the road, there are all kinds of places to get your RIVER PERSON GEAR and whatnot. Also, souvenirs, but like what kind of souvenirs are they shilling out at Ohio Pyle?? I bet it’s just, like, fancy rocks and pennants.

While we were walking past all this shit, I wondered about what would have happened if I had ended up with a guy was into that shit. Like, camping and wearing life vests, etc.

“Well, you wouldn’t have lasted long, obviously,” Henry scoffed and I disagree with this because my pre-Henry dating experience showed me that guys tended to CLING so who knows how that could have panned out. Maybe I’d have kept a non-nature boy on the side to chill with whenever Russ went to go stick a flag on the top of a mountain. (I just imagine that someone like that would be named Russ and now I’m laughing because I ACTUALLY DID DATE A GUY NAMED RUSS but forgot until just now; however, I don’t think he was into wilderness things and also I think we only dated for like a month in 11th grade, it was not that big of a deal.)

A Church.

Me in front of A Church.

We walked along another trail for a bit, just in time to see some young child nearly ride their bike, training wheels and all, over a small gorge. The dad ran after it (I didn’t look to see if it was a boy or a girl because it didn’t matter) and as he grabbed the back of its bike, he looked at us and we all laughed nervously, pretending that his kid didn’t just perish over a cliff in Ohio Pyle.

At Ohio Pyle?

On Ohio Pyle?

What the fuck even is an PYLE??

I hissed out of the side of my mouth to Henry, “Let’s get away from these people before we end up as eye witnesses” so we went down to the WATER which was nice and calm since it was a bit away from that water fall / rapid area thing where we started.

I wanted to start a series of TREE POSIN’ WITH ERIN AND HENRY but I’m not certain how often I will be able to get Henry to participate and also, for example, all he was doing here was mimicking my awkward poses so I’m not even sure I want to give him the clearance to do that again, if we’re being honest with each other here and obviously we are because “honesty” is like my brand. Well, there are probably worse things that are my brand first. But “honesty” is there somewhere.

Henry was very smug about this shot of me mid-ass brush.

I had enough of OHIO PYLE by then, so we left. Not before I blasted NCT127 “Earthquake” as we drove past a gaggle of hillbilly hunter guys congregating around the pick-up truck in the parking lot.

Henry was like, “Wow, great, thanks.” He loves when I draw attention to us.

On the way back home, I had a vague memory of being with my mom one time in middle school or high school, while she was spying on someone (probably—that was like her big past time back then).

All I could remember was that she had taken me somewhere “to the right, off one of these roads up here” near Perryopolis, to a place called Linden something. Henry was like, “Reminder that it’s 2022 and you can find anything on that iPhone in your hand” so I googled it and yelled LINDEN HALL just as we saw a sign on the side of the road that said LINDEN HALL. So Henry was like, “OK gas is 900 dollars but sure let’s take a detour into the unknown” so that is how we ended up driving and driving and driving past all kinds of actual VILLAGES and even the SILENCE OF THE LAMBS house which I completely forgot was out that way:

Until we finally made it to Linden Hall, which is just a golf course / mansion / wedding venue apparently. The mansion was really petty and I wanted to go in but Henry said IT IS CLOSED even though all the lights were on, but OK, sir. He was just pissed because as we drove past the golf course on the way in, I leaned across and screamed, “MISS IT!!!!” out the window at all the golfers with saggy butts.

“Why do you have to be so childish,” he sighed, wanting to die.

Then on the way back out to the main road, I asked him to slow down so I could take a picture of the house with all the obnoxious Trump signs but it was only because I wanted the opportunity to screech TRUMP SUCKS at the house, to which Henry responded by stepping on the gas, frantically trying to roll up my window, while muttering, “God damn you.” Wow, Henry’s hidden Trump love is showing.

Then we back-tracked and went to Gene and Boots because crybaby Henry wanted to get ice cream since he didn’t get dessert to go at Brenda’s Family Restaurant like he claimed he was going to. Seriously, he can be such a bitch sometimes.

Yeah wow. These are things that happened on Saturday after lunch. Come back when I post the second half, which is tentatively titled “BREAKING UP AT THE CEMETERY BECAUSE OF MY PERPETUAL RESTING BITCH FACE AND HENRY’S INABILITY TO DIRECT ME INTO POSING FOR PICTURES WHERE I DON’T LOOK LIKE SLOTH FROM THE GOONIES.”

Oh ho ho, 좋은 아침 여러분. Henry and I are currently en route to Columbus, Ohio to have lunch at Seitan’s Realm. Here is how that happened:

Every time we pass through Columbus, we want to eat there but it always happens to be on Sunday and they are closed! Finally, I couldn’t take anymore taunting via their Instagram feed so I yelled at Chooch to request off on some upcoming Saturday so that we can feast. Then a few weeks later he was like “I’m off on the 26th” and I rejoiced! But then I found out that he called off for a Pokemon “event” so this is why it is just Henry and me in the car and Chooch is still at home sleeping :(

Anyway it’s 7:19 and we just plied ourselves with coffee, NCT Dream is blaring, and I’m already about to start complaining about contacts. Woo road trip!!

8:55am: what a boring drive, as expected. We stopped at Sheetz for breakfast as per road trip protocol. Nothing interesting happened there at all. Then I listened to a few chapters of an audiobook but it was making me fall asleep (I mean the book is good but combined with being in the car, I was so drowsy).

9:12am time for a Renjun appreciation shout out, best NCT vocalist.

10:26am: Just arrived at Otherworld but our reservation isn’t until 11 so we’re just sitting in the car, you know, same as we’ve been doing for the last three hours.

OMG Henry’s memory of the day is from 2006 when I was pregnant and we were also in Columbus that weekend! The picture is my puke on the bathroom floor of the science center. IMAX & Slurpee was not a great combo for my mucho-prego self lol.

11:28 I live here now.

11:56am: Spent an hour at Otherworld and it was really fun but toward the end, it started to get really crowded so we were glad we left as early as we did and got there before our 11am reservation because this is not the type of place you can enjoy yourself with a crowd.

Henry: Really? Renjun’s Voice?

Yeah, so??

Now we’re on our way to Seitan’s Realm, finally!

12:30pm: finally at Seitan’s Realm!!

THIS IS ABOVE OUR BOOTH!!!

1:06pm: you guys wow. We just left and I will definitely need to write a separate review post thingy but it was so satisfying and I am wrecked that we live 3 hours away.

1:33pm: stopped at Topiary Park. We weee here years ago with Christina but it was rainy that day so I wanted to come back. It was smaller than I remembered and also super cold so we left after five minutes lol.

3:07pm: just peed in the nicest park bathroom ngl.

Some place called Blacklick Park I guess. I needed to go for a walk to digest and henry took forever finding a place and we had many fights.

Artec! Nooooo!

3:26pm this just in: I knew something moss-adjacent that Henry did not: that British Soldier lichen stuff!

That is not my picture but I have vivid memories of this shit being all over the fences along the side of my childhood street – Gillcrest – and I have never seen it since then. :(

3:36: Just stopped at 5 Bean Coffee and got a maple butterscotch latte which is quite delectable but I’m having ordering regertz because they had red velvet on the special menu that I didn’t see at first so I pointed it out to henry but he blew me off and just got something basic like his personality. Ugh.

3:44: we just drove past the gas station where we had to pull over one time on the way home from who knows where when Chooch was laughing so hard he peed his pants and henry was soooooo angry lol.

Meanwhile henry just called the car in front of us a COCKBITE.

4:47: just spent a cool $100 on Kpop pins in one of the pin maker’s shop updates. I also bought a keychain meant to be used as a frame for Kpop photo cards – so if you’re new here, that means that anytime you buy a Kpop album, one of the fun parts of it is finding out whose photocard you got because it’s totally random. Some of the super manic Stans will buy dozens of the albums in an effort to collect all of the photocards. It’s nuts!

But it got me thinking about how everyone was so shocked when I got into Kpop and admittedly I was too but it actually makes so much sense because I am a very obsessive and fanatical personality type. For instance, when I was in middle school, I had it SO BAD for Pgh Penguin Paul Coffey and used to carry his hockey card around with me everywhere like it was actually him. I can remember even taking him to the movies with my friends and giving him his own seat next to mine.

“So really I haven’t outgrown that part of myself at all,” I said to Henry just now, to which he mumbled, “You haven’t outgrown much of anything.”

Wwwwwwwwwow.

5:52pm: Made the mistake of telling Henry I don’t really understand sanctions and he stepped into his MANSPLAININ’ trousers and gave me a Lesson.

Also fuck Putin. What a miserable pathetic gremlin shadow of a man. Go drown in quicksand with Trump please, while grasping onto your tiny peepees.

6:33pm: Now we’re about 15 minutes from home but Son of the Year texted me and demanded an iced coffee so now we’re at Dunkin’ in Bridgeville and I just want to go hoooooommmmmeeee.

Posting this now I guess. What a lame live blog. Ciao ciao for now now.

BIG NOSE

One of my friends on Instagram just posted something about a friend told her she shouldn’t get photographed on her left side because her nose looks bigger from that side and just reading that triggered me and immediately queued up a VIVID memory of standing in the lunch line in 7th grade, minding my own business, when ADAM CUNTSKE (named changed since people always seem to Google themselves and find my idiot blog) said 갑자기, “You have a really big nose.”

To me!

And yeah I guess I do probably but it was literally something  that I never thought about back then probably because I was too fixated on being FAT, A BRACE FACE, HAVING A SHITTY PERM, ETC. But great, let’s add “BIG NOSE” to the arsenal.

Additionally, ADAM CUNTSKE and I had never once exchanged even a hello. I don’t even think we had any classes together (he was REMEDIAL. Take that, ADAM CUNTSKE).

Then several years ago, he had the audacity to send me a friend request on Facebook, back when I still used that societal scourge. Of course I screamed NOT TODAY, ADAM CUNTSKE. Come on, really? Aside from commenting apropos of nothing about my bulging beak, we had shared approximately zero words all  the way throughout high school. Maybe he has a boner for big noses now!?

LONG TIME NO GINGER

A few weeks ago, I was on my way back home from a lunch break walk. It was a really unseasonably beautiful day which meant I got roped into THREE conversations with strangers all on Brookline Boulevard, how fucking blessed. One old dude pulled up to the curb as I was lost in an audiobook and I caught him frantically waving in my periphery. I had to pull a GAYLE who used to listen to audiobooks at work and would hold up one finger while she searched for the pause button anytime someone would approach her desk. Shout out to you, Gayle!

Anyway, after I properly paused my book, dude was like IS THE HOTDOG PLACE OPEN. Like he really wanted me to walk over to HANK’S HOTDOGS which OK I was about to walk past it anyway but now I had to go all the way up to it because my eyes are bad and I couldn’t read the sign that was taped to the door from where I was standing, mole eyes and all.

I read the sign and reported back. “IT SAYS THEY’RE OPEN UNTIL 3 BUT I THINK IT’S A LIE BECAUSE IT’S ONLY 2:30 NOW AND IT APPEARS TO BE CLOSED” I shouted through his passenger side window from my firm stance on the sidewalk lest he try to grab and pull me through said open window. He just stared at me like he was not happy with this answer so I was like, “Oh OK, I guess I will go back and TRY THE DOOR in order to give you the most accurate answer.” So I did just that and looked over my shoulder to see if he was witnessing me being unable to pull open the LOCKED DOOR. This, paired with my exaggerated AW SHUCKS shrug, appeared to satisfy him so he shouted, “OK THANKS HONEY” and then pulled back onto the boulevard.

ANYTIME, GRAMPS.

Then I was cutting through the CVS parking lot, where some guy was giving himself a bath with handfuls of snow, I swear to fucking god. There was some redheaded broad in front of me who went inside CVS just as some old man with a cane exited. She was 100% still in earshot when the old man locked eyes with me and exclaimed, and I mean WHOOPED, “Wow, it’s been a long time since I seen a GINGER!” I was like, “*stunned*” but we had already made the aforementioned eye contact so now he wanted to talk to me about the skating rink at the bottom of his road that he was on his way to conquer.

“Oh wow, be careful with that,” I said with a nervous laugh, having no idea wtf he was going on about.

“*something about a water main thingie breaking*” he mansplained.

“Oh OK, well, good luck, haha,” I laughed uncomfortably, trying to edge away and OMG why did I leave the house.

BROOKLINE HERO

There’s some road work happening on one of the side streets so there are tons of DETOUR construction signs lining the road I live on. However, we have been experiencing some pretty high winds lately and almost all of them have been knocked over. On Saturday, Henry and I were walking to the library when he was like, “THIS IS RIDICULOUS” after we hurdled over the second felled sign. And then he proceeded to PICK IT UP and replace the SAND BAGS. You guys know I was losing it over this. Anytime Henry does anything like  this, I wish he had a COSTUME to wear. Like maybe a cape made of Faygo t-shirts, attached to an actual blue collar.

Luckily, he picked up another sign too so this time I was prepared.

“Oh hurry up, get the camera ready,” he mumbled.

Then he started bitching about unions and how it’s not like the pubic works people were going to come back and fix it, and that, “someone has to do it.” He really carries all of Brookline on his back, you guys.

JANNA’S CURTAINS

Janna bought a house during the height of the pandemic and I finally got off my ass and went over to see it this past weekend. Of course, I had to bring Henry because she had house issues for him to assess.

My favorite thing about Janna buying a house is that she has been having a feud with a curtain rod. It keeps falling down and pulling out parts of the wall with it. SHE EVEN HAD A PROFESSIONAL come and fix it at some point, but it still happened. She sent me pictures of the ruined wall and Henry was so angry about this. “SHE HAD A PROFESSIONAL DO THAT? I COULD HAVE HUNG THAT FROM HERE.” He was seriously angry about this and now I think Henry should start a grassroots fix-it operation where he makes sure women don’t get screwed by repairmen.

Anyway! Corey also knows about the curtain drama, so as soon as we walked into her house (she tried to wave us in from inside but I was like NO YOU HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR AND FORMALLY INVITE US IN JANNA COME ON LET’S GO) I tossed my phone at her and squealed, “TAKE A PICTURE OF ME NEXT TO THE CURTAINS SO I CAN SEND IT TO COREY!!”

It would have been amazing if the curtains fell mid-picture snap.

Oh well.

Her house is so cute though, curtain issues aside! Don’t worry, we’re going back next weekend and Henry will have his HERO BOX with him.

Also, I brought some of my NCT albums to show her and she actually sighed exasperatedly and then tried to deny the exasperation!! I made her sit there while I named all 23 members and Henry was probably thinking, “Finally I get a break from the NCT fanaticism” until I dragged him into the narrative by saying things like, “RIGHT HENRY?” and “HENRY TELL HER WHO YOUR BIAS IS” and he was like, “Can I please just sit here in peace, petting Janna’s dog and watching The Office reruns? We might not have a union, but heroes are entitled to a break too.”

WORDLE

I have only ever posted my dumb Wordle results once ever on Twitter when I guessed AROMA on the second try, but I thought this one was hilarious because I have never in my life used the word TACIT yet somehow it came to my mind? Also, Chooch and I both used the same word for our first guess yesterday – GHOST. We are definitely related.

All three of us play and are very competitive (OK maybe only two of us are).

ENDING FAIRY 

OMG can I end this with an NCT video? Can I please??

I really think I like NCT Dream the best out of all the NCT sub-units?! I have been on a huge Renjun kick lately and I think he might be my current favorite NCT vocalist??

ALSO HE WAS WEARING A PITT SWEATSHIRT IN THIS VIDEO WTF YESSS!?

I bought this jacket from Valfre sometime toward the end of 2019, thinking it would be a good transition jacket to wear once spring 2020 rolled around.

LOL. But then we all know what happened early in 2020.

I was actually only able to wear this jacket once to work on a mild day that winter, and then it eventually found its way to the attic closet with my other winter coats that I would rarely use since leaving the house was not a thing anymore.

Our Pittsburgh office tentatively set a return to office date for April. My department will be operating on their own remote working policy though where we – last I heard, anyway – will only be required to come in twice a month, or more if we want.

Personally, I think I would like to come in once a week because I miss that old routine, I miss my downtown walks, I miss my desk (though we will probably be looking at a desk-share sitch which is not desirable but times they are a’changing etc etc). Obviously I miss my work friends but I really don’t think many people will be choosing to work from the office so I probably still won’t see many people on the days I do opt to go in and also the snack table will probably never be a thing again or food parties or meetings in a conference room (I am sooooo burnt out on virtual meetings – it is really the only thing that I truly HATE about working from home).

And true to form, the stupid trolley is having some type of bridge repair done on the line I take and it won’t be done until fucking summer so now a dumb shuttle has to be used and I have been on that boat before (er, bus) so now the COMMUTE ANXIETY is hitting me already and nothing has even been confirmed yet!!

I found my Valfre jacket when we were cleaning out the attic so one thing’s for sure: I know what I’ll be wearing on my first day back.

This concludes my Sunday night post-from-bed.

Well, here we are, another lousy Monday. I wonder what it’s like to be that person who genuinely does not hate Mondays. Because even when my Mondays aren’t that bad, they’re still Mondays and Mondays might as well just be renamed Yuckday, you know? If we were all in first grade? Entering a contest to rename Monday?

The ration of caffeine to “everything else” in my body might be a bit skewed currently, apologies in advance.

You already know how my super exciting Saturday was so let’s dish about Sunday, a day I hate nearly as much as Mondays because I spend all day thinking about how Monday is the next day.

When I say that nearly ALL WEEKEND was spent sorting through non compos card orders and fanning myself over NCT, I truly am not exaggerating. You can ask Henry. He was here for it all.

Here is one of the cards from our scintillating serial killer Valentine line. I am sure you quite inspired to stock up.

I think one of my favorite parts of Sunday was when Henry was sitting in the dining room diligently constructing cards when 갑자기, he called out, “Is that Ten?” and when I confirmed, he said, “I could tell by his voice.” Henry is a true Kpop Dad, you guys. All the racists out there are making OH HO HO HO SO FUNNY statements about how “they” “all look the same,” and Papa Kpop over here is like I will debunk THAT stereotype with a quickness and also go to the next level with it, you bigots. 

Meanwhile, there were two white guys with beards in Emarosa that I could NEVER tell apart but I can name all 23 members of NCT so do with that what you will.

This is totally apropos of nothing but I just remembered that the other night, Henry made Chooch , who hates lasagna, lasagna for dinner and told him it was “baked pasta.” He ate the whole thing and didn’t say shit about it lol. This is honestly one of the best part of parenting; it’s so wild even after 15 years.

Since henry was so busy making cards all day (weekend), I suggested we get dinner from Mandy’s Pizza so he could have a break lol. But selfishly it was just because Mandy’s has an extensive vegan section of their menu and I am sometimes really missing the taste of pepperoni and sausage on my pizza, you know? I know you know.

We also got some mooncakes and a pandan cake from Onion Maiden because it was a real TREAT OURSELF day.

Speaking of treating myself, I fed myself from an NCT YouTube buffet and when I played Earthquake for the 87th time, this exchange happened:

Henry from the other room, mumbling, “oh. This song again.” It’s the current house anthem.

Me: What if we made a doorbell that, when pushed, projected the Earthquake track video onto the porch?

Henry: *soul leaves body*

Meanwhile, henry was bitching and moaning all day about his ICE SLIP SHOULDER. I do this thing where I act like I’m going to hug him and then I squeeze his shoulder real hard and he falls for it every time. After doing that one last time before bed, henry snapped and said, “YOU JUST CANT HELP YOURSELF CAN YOU” Looooool.

Well, that pretty much sums up my Sunday. Add in a bunch of cat & squirrel convos and you got it dude.

My current brain state has really taken to free-form, anything goes thought purges so we’re gonna keep that up because writing on here has been very therapeutic.

Also part of my therapy package was spending all Friday night doing Kpop cardio and watching hours of NCT YouTube content and laughing out loud which I hardly ever do when I’m watching things. The feeling of joy and excitement that Kpop has brought me over the last six years has been so special to me! It’s just hits different than the hysteria I used to feel over my old repertoire of bands. Like, I feel more inspired? More like I’m part of a secret society even though BTS blew the secret to smithereens?

Whenever people ask me HEY HOW’S IT GOING I always just say something generic to appease them when I really I want to blurt out OMG ITS GOING HILARIOUSLY I JUST WATCHED A 15 MINUTE VIDEO OF JAEMIN’S BRAIN BEING BUILT DIFFERENT.

God bless all the kids who put together these compilation videos so old Kpop bitches like me can laugh away another blah work week. They da real MVPs.

Lol I was jogging in place and watching YouTube when Henry came up behind me and scared the fuck out of me, like I literally jumped and spun around. “You scared me!” I screamed.

“Ugh you’re in your NCT Dream state,” Henry sighed and then mumbled, “oh my god.”

In other non-Kpop news, I’m listening to The Guncle on audio and it’s not as cute/charming/good as I expected it to be.

I sent this to my lil bro Corey and said I still can’t believe our mom ever let him in the car with me back then. He said his most vivid memory of being in my Eagle Talon is of his body pressed into the roof after leaving IKEA because I had so many boxes in the backseat, while I was flying down 376 with the windows down and cigarette smoke blowing back into his face. Big sister goals! The only difference is that my Talon had a CASSETTE PLAYER so I was definitely fumbling for a tape, not a CD lol.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZLFGMbI4b9/?utm_medium=copy_link

Huge life update: I LEFT THE HOUSE. I mean it was just to go to Target but wow, that felt good. Fuck winter. Fuck COVID.

And now Henry is picking up delectable treats.

We are now into the late afternoon segment of Saturday. It’s been a pretty decent day! Except omg every time I pick my phone up there is another news alert about Tom Brady retiring. Like ok so GO AWAY already. Jesus.

Now we’re doing the rest of the ceiling which was supposed to be done last week but then HENRY FELL ON ICE UGH.

Oh!!! When I came back from walking to the library, I told my cat Drew that it was too cold outside and I said it in Korean without even thinking about it!!! I still suck at it though.

I like this style of blogging. Just sitting here thinking about how light and easy it feels to just open the draft and add to it as the day goes along, like an old school written journal which I used to keep but then stopped because it always got too dark LOL ugh ouch.

Have you guys seen that When We Were Young music festival that was announced last week? It makes me laugh because it’s bands that I liked in my 20s but whose median fan base were teenagers. Anyway!! There have been a plethora of Jonny Craig memes generated because of this and it’s been brightening my days because fuck that douchebag you know. Anyway, there are a good bit of bands on that roster that I loved so much back then and it almost makes me want to fly to Vegas in October to attend but I probably won’t because I’ve seen them all more times than I can count and will it really be the same?

HOWEVER. If Chiodos were to announce a full OG lineup reunion, I’d be more inspired.

But until that happens, I probably won’t be bringing back my old side part anytime soon.

Or my bleached blond and chocolate dual-toned hair lol. That was…a real LEWK as the KIDS say.

Guys here is a clip of the kdrama Our Beloved Summer where the character Ung says my favorite Korean word “kapchugi.”

You could honestly turn it into a drinking game. It’s a word that is said A LOT in dramas, almost as much as jinjja which means “really.” I taught you something.

Look who’s actually gracing us with his presence!!! ^^^^ But then he does this annoying things where he walks into the room and goes, “Is that BTS” about whatever I’m watching on TV. He’s the ultimate jerk.

Well guys. It’s been a decent day. I am capping it off with some 막걸리 & NCT content.

I lied. We’re capping off the night with more Valentine packaging.

#ThisIsMyLife