When I was making a Spotify playlist for my Christmas party last weekend, things got weird. It happens every winter: I subconsciously veer off into my goth origins, and before I could stop myself, the playlist began to fill up with Greatest Funeral Hits and dark synthpop dirges.
Type O Negative’s “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” was playing while I searched for my favorite Projekt Holiday compilation tracks to add—Projekt is/was a goth record label and I used to buy all their comps because I was a comp princess—and Henry scoffed, “Seriously, Erin? People have had the worst year of their lives and now they’re going to leave our party in tears.”
I MEAN I WOULDNT GO THAT FAR, HENRY. I had Carly Rae Jepsen tracks on there, for Christ’s sake! But I get it. I gotchu. Not everyone likes to stew in a morose marinade like I do. And truthfully, there was a lot of Cure up in there—and not the happy, radio hits, either. So I remedied that shit by adding some Kpop to the mix. Because how sad can you be with Kpop gyrating into the room while you’re eating handfuls of cheese slices and trying to work up the nerve to ask Henry if he ever killed a bitch in THE SERVICE.
While I was adding my fave Kpop hits, I felt inspired to check YouTube to see if any new developments had happened with KpopX. I hadn’t been working out with them for awhile because they weren’t adding anything new and I was getting bored with the old routines. LONG STORY SHORT, there were new routines, but not only that, I discovered K-KARDIO!!! Holy shit, KpopX has a competitor! So I’ve been back to Kpopping all over the house again and Henry and Chooch are currently embroiled in an intense frown competition. Henry hates how the Kpop songs get stuck in his head, and I’m like, but that’s the best part?
Anyway, during my K-Kardio exploration, I realized that the main choreographer looked very familiar, and it’s because SHE WAS ONE OF THE KPOPX INSTRUCTORS. Holy shit, Jessica left KpopX!?!?
I became worried that there was a rift with her and Maddie, and the creator of KpopX, but then I saw that Maddie still follows her on Instagram, so whew.
I was so excited to share my discovery with Henry, who completely shouldered past me and started doing things he considers “more important” than KpopX, like paying bills or….I don’t know, what are important things? I’m 13, remember.
So then I was like IT’S FINE, MY WORK FRIENDS WILL CARE. But Glenn did not give me the reaction I was looking for, and Todd was just like, “Crazy girl is talking to me again, help.”
Their punishment was that this week’s Friday Video pick was Red Velvet’s “Dumb Dumb,” which is one of my favorite KpopX routines! I hope that it stays stuck in their heads all weekend long.
Amber2 and Sandy seemed to enjoy it though and now they both want a “Dumb” stamp, so hopefully Santa is reading this.
P.S. I kind of like K-Kardio better than KpopX, OMG please don’t tell Maddie!
P.P.S. OMG also I think that Maddie and Jessica might be sisters?!
P.P.P.S. Henry just asked me what “Dumb Dumb” is about and I’m like, “….you?”
P.P.P.P.S. Here’s my Holiday Hangs playlist if anyone cares. I even put a Krampus song on there for Chris and Monica!