Urgent. Will die without reading.
- 13:17 The first time Henry saw my boobs, he drunkenly slurred, “Oh boyyy!” #
- 21:36 Chooch goes to bed and one by one, all the cats emerge from hiding. #
- 09:18 “How nice it is to not have to walk anywhere, now that the kid carries me by my neck. Like a lethal taxi.” – our cat Nicotina. #
- 11:10 Prairie Dawn can suck one. #
- 12:11 Just gargled with unicorn piss, and am now about to mount a centaur in order to conceive the next Messiah. #
- 12:12 damn, centaur’s got WANG #
- 12:57 I wouldn’t mind snow if it fell from bright blue skies, tasted like almond roca, & produced lsd-like highs w/o residual side effects. #
- 19:07 I just braved a roomful of men to get coffee and was immediately barraged and raped by testosterone. #
- 01:07 This afternoon’s foray down Soundsgoodbutnot Lane: marshmallow fluff, chocolate syrup, pumpernickle bread. #
- 10:45 My son has taken a liking to Jon&Kate+8. He calls them his friends. Unforch, this show makes me want to have 8 more kids at once. INSANE. #
- 12:48 I could really go for some gaily wrapped candy. #
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oh plz have 8 more kids!!!!