Not a whole lot happened, but some things did happen, and here are those things.

I started watching Ginny & Georgia on Netflix. I never heard of it until I saw it featured on Friday and I thought to myself, “OK I could go for some light family sitcom bullshit right about now” but wow that show had some dark moments! Anyway, I did that thing that I always do when I’m watching TV which is spend an absurd amount of time on IMDB and HOLY SHIT that show has a ton of Degrassi grads on it! So many that there is actually a BuzzFeed article about it?!

Then there is this one girl who was in one episode and at a glance she reminded me of someone, and then I finally realized it was the “girl from that Superman show. The new-ish one. The one that was on the WB or whatever…you know…..SMALLVILLE!” I screamed at Henry. Wow, that one almost gave me a stroke from all the mind-strain. So then of course I had to look up Smallville to find the name of the girl (Kristen Kreuk) because I wanted to see if they were related (they are not). THEN a few minutes later I was looking up another person from Ginny & Georgia and he was in a movie or show with….KRISTEN KREUK. Literally, this is a person who I haven’t thought of since I used to wear whatever those fake UGGs were called in the early 2000s and now she was coming up twice in 10 minutes, I was screaming.

Man, what were those fake UGGs called? I remember my friend Stacey made fun of me for wearing them because she said I didn’t seem like the type, but they were so comfortable to wear to haunted houses!!!

EMUs!! They were called EMUs, lololol.

AnyHOO, I binged that whole mothercheffin’ show over the weekend and have none regertz. NONE REGERTZ.

On one of Henry’s many trips to The Store, he came back with “toys” for Chooch and nothing for Drew and me. That wasn’t really a memorable moment but I liked this picture and wanted to INCLUDE IT IN THIS BLOG POST OK?

(In case you ever wondered, yes, I type EXTRA HARD AND ANGRY when I’m CAPSCREAMING.)

I don’t remember how it happened, but Henry and I ended up watching a “Top 100 Kpop Videos as of March 2021” video countdown on YouTube. We’ve watched these in the past – it just shows you a couple seconds of each video with stats at the bottom, like what number the video peaked at, what position it was in last month, etc. It’s really annoying now though because the more popular BTS gets, the more their psycho fans go back and stream every single video so they are ALL OVER these countdowns. (And Twice. And Blackpink.) Henry and I were getting so angry about it (especially considering these isn’t a single SHINee video on it anymore – don’t worry though, BIGBANG is still representing!) that you would have thought we were watching a sports thing if you had walked by because we were both standing up in front of the TV (wait, I think only Henry was, but I was lurched forward on the couch, high anxiety), SHOUTING OUR GUESSES and acting like true ridiculous dumbasses. When it got to the Top 10, I was screaming shit like, “IT BETTER NOT BE ALL BTS!” and Henry was like, “THERE WILL PROBABLY BE AT LEAST ONE MORE BLACKPINK!” and I started screaming all the BTS songs that hadn’t appeared yet and every single one of my guesses was in the Top 10 (BTS-wise) and that brought us to the #1 spot. I remembered that only the Hyuna version of Gangnam Style had appeared on the list thus far, so I yelled, “WAIT! IT COULD STILL BE PSY!”

AND THEN IT WAS!!! IT WAS PSY’S GANGNAM STYLE!!! Henry and I were screaming like the Pens just won the Stanley Cup, we were THAT happy it wasn’t BTS, lol.

However, seeing some of those older BTS videos made me yearn for their pre-Americanized era. I used to really like them so much! And I still have nothing against them, just their toxic fans.

Then Henry and I went to Target and talked about our old Riot Fest memories for some reason and then I couldn’t remember the name of the band La Dispute and spent the whole ride to Target and the entire time walking around Target trying to remember but all I could think of was the one song where he screams CAN I STILL GET INTO HEAVEN IF I KILL MYSELF and anyway, I clearly remembered at some point that it was La Dispute since I already said it. Try to keep up.

But man, we had some really good times at Riot Fest! Too bad it got shitty.

The next day, Henry was “at The Store” again and someone knocked on the door! I was scared!! But I thought maybe it was just HNC so I opened it cautiously. It was not HNC but some older Yinzer lady holding a CLIPBOARD. Oh boy. My favorite.  She was collecting signatures so her boss could be a judge or something, I don’t know, I’m a really bad listener. Her approach was very LOOK I DON’T WANT TO BE DOING THIS which is honestly something I could appreciate because I feel like that would be my lead-in too. I mean, she wasn’t asking for money or for me  to sign up for some fly-by-night utility company that would up forwarding my calls to a local tattoo parlor (this is a true story and the guy who owned that place was NOT HAPPY because this was back when I didn’t have a cell phone and people used to actually call my house a lot, see also: pre-Henry, when I had a life). While I was signing her dumb petition, she peered around me and in her thick smoker’s voice, she croaked, “WHOA YOU HAVE A REALLY COOL HOUSE. YOU REALLY DO!” and I was like “Wow thanks I’m so glad that the first person to see my DIY updates is some rando collecting signatures for her boss with a matchbook law degree. But still, I was happy that someone saw  it and liked it! However, she went next door after that,  to Blake’s, and I heard her says, “OH, AREN’T YOU A DOLL!” to one of Henry’s grandkids so now I’m not sure I can trust this lady’s opinion.

(J/k but they do sound like lil monstas on the other side of our wall lol.)

Henry was cleaning the bedroom and I was like LET ME SEE IF THERE ARE ANY CLOTHES THAT I CAN GET RID AWAY. Negative. I’m a clotheshorse. I love all of my clothes and will not part with them. However, I thought that maybe I could reorganize my dresser drawers since my method of putting away clothes is balling them up and punching them into an already-overstuffed drawer and then using the HIP-BUMP method to close it. So I dumped the first drawer out on the bed and Henry was like “here do it like this” and I thought that he would just DO IT FOR ME but sadly this story DOES NOT HAVE A FAIRY TALE ENDING because he only demonstrated on two shirts and then went back to his own stuff?!!?!? SO I HAD TO FOLD EVERYTHING MYSELF?? IT TOOK ALL DAY! (He said it was only an hour but this is *my* sob story not his, so.)

Then I wanted cauliflower pizza for dinner so that is what Henry made me:

And that was my weekend. It was OK! The weather was fairly decent I think but I can’t remember because it’s Thursday now and who cares.

Henry went to bed early and I’m bored & wanted to blog but also am lacking the brain power for that shit but then I thought HEY ERIN U HAVE NOT DONE A THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE POST IN A MIN so I forced myself to get off the couch, spun around with my eyes closed in various rooms and then took a picture of whatever junk my eyes landed on.

Hello. This bell is something I bought for no good reason from some antique place on the south side in 1998 and then had the BRILLIANT IDEA to keep it in my car (1995 Eagle Talon called Cassie Layne* named by my friend Kenny who said I looked like some soap opera character of the same name) to use as a makeshift horn after my actual car horn died (it sounded like a sick mule for a few mths first though).

*(Wow it took me this many years to actually look that shit up – presumably because I didn’t have an iPhone to Google that shit the second Kenny said it – but no, no I really did not look like her.)

Next to the bell is a lightbulb filled with Chooch’s baby teeth. Duh.

In the kitchen, we have international candy! Henry is so happy that my candy purchases stay in the house now and aren’t being swept away from and into the law firm office where it’s enjoyed by…next to no one. And that’s pre pandemic lol!

Here is a piggy bank that Chooch made when he was taking pottery classes as a…7-year-old? 8? Who can keep track anymore.

And speaking of Chooch, here is a picture from the time we went to Gayle’s wedding!

I made that frame for it and that stupid baby doll falls off so much, it’s annoying.

Well. I guess that was five things. I also guess that five is ingrained in my head as some important number WHY I WONDER.

DID SESAME STREET TEACH ME THIS?

kbye!

I am really a great blogger and book reviewer, don’t you think?

Anyway, here are the remaining 5 books i read last month while they’re still fresh on my mind, LOL,  that’s a joke, nothing stays fresh on my mind longer than 20  minutes these days.

8. Theme Music – T. Marie Vandelly

Hot damn, I was REALLY looking for a legit creepy horror novel and this bitch served. The premise is that the main character, in her 20s, discovers that her childhood home is for sale. Oh yeah, this is also the place where her father ax-murdered her entire family in the kitchen when she was a baby, sparing her. So she does what ANY of us would do and…

you know, buys it.

Her boyfriend is like THE FUCK OUTTA HERE when she finally fesses up and tells him the history of the house, so he won’t move in and now their relationship is strained and oh yeah, her dead family is all “yo welcome home” and walking around with their heads caved in and shit. The descriptions were SICKENING and GORY and painted a gloriously grotesque scene for me. Also, it’s narrated by the main character and her thoughts are twisted and often HILARIOUS. I love when a horror story can effortlessly weave humor into the narrative without coming off as cheesy or slapstick.

It kept me guessing all  the way to the end – REALLY enjoyed this one a lot!

9. In a Holidaze – Christina Lauren

After Theme Music’s carnage, I was looking for some levity and Scribd had “Holidaze” by Christina Lauren available. I’m not a super big romance person but I did read another one of their books last year and LOVED IT.

This is kind of like a Groundhog Day-style scenario where a young woman (I think she is in her mid-20s) keeps reliving the same day except that she’s able to make changes, but anytime she makes the wrong choice, something inevitably falls from the sky and lands on her head, causing er to once again wake up on Day One.

What I loved the most about this book is that the main character, her younger brother and her divorced parents have decades-old tradition where they spend Christmas vacation with family friends in a cabin owned by one of the families, and that dynamic is EVERYTHING. It makes me so sad that I don’t have anything like this in my life! Anyway, the book starts with the owners of the cabin telling the rest of the crew on the last day that they can no longer afford the upkeep of the cabin and are going to sell it.

Yes, there’s a romance involved, but what I enjoyed the most is the effort that goes into trying to change the timeline in order to keep the tradition from dying.

I’m actually crying as I remember how it ends. It was so pure. This book is wonderful. I think I’m obsessed with Christina Lauren and I have two more books by them waving to me from my Scribd shelf so I gotta get on that shit soon.

10. These Vengeful Hearts – Katherine Laurin 

Is it weird that I can almost never remember characters’ names, even if it’s only been like a week since I read the book? Because I can’t remember a single person in this book and also this book was not great. Like, I think even if I was 14, I’d be like, “This book is not great.”

There’s a secret society at this high school called The Red Court and students can ask them for “favors” (eg. “make me homecoming queen;” “publicly shame my cheating girlfriend” etc) but then they eventually have to “pay” by carrying out usually really half past-bullying more toward legit crimes against a “target.” Our main girl has a plan to infiltrate the court and find out who the Red Queen is in an effort to take them down for paralyzing her older sister.

But then OMG is she ENJOYING the power? Dun dun dunnnn.

It was dumb. Sometimes I crave a good YA thriller and this wasn’t it.

11. The Winter People – Jennifer McMahon

I kept seeing people compare this to Pet Sematary except that it was really boring, the writing was kind of bad, and not a single character had any, well, character. It’s a split timeline and I surprisingly liked the one set in the 1800s better than present day.

But yeah, this wasn’t scary and then the present day characters were soooooo annoying and I 100% just wanted everyone to die. It was also shockingly difficult for me to follow the present day story line. I couldn’t keep track of who everyone was and then when the big “reveal” happened, I was like “Huh?” because I couldn’t follow how everyone was supposedly connected.

This one booktuber that I think is so lame gave this a 5 and that should have been the biggest indication for me to run far away from this book.

12. Eight Perfect Murders – Peter Swanson

This was pretty fun! I didn’t enjoy it as much as his other book, The Kind Worth Killing, but it’s perfect for anyone who loves a good murder mystery! The premise is that a string of murders have been connected to a blog post written on a book store’s website about EIGHT books featuring PERFECT MURDERS, try to keep up, guys.

The book is told from the POV of the man who wrote the blog post, who is also the co-owner of the book store. I kept picturing Joe from the TV adaption of the book “You” – if you know, you know. I gave it a 3 – it was fun, immersive, but it didn’t BLOW ME AWAY. His other aforementioned book had me screaming, but this one had me politely clapping.

I feel like this would be a great book to read on a plane. Sigh.

And that was how my February went. Henry has been obsessed with audio books lately so he tore through a bunch of books too but I’mnot even going to ask him to review any because we all know how that will go:

“I liked it.”

“It was good.”

“Eh.”

“I can’t remember.”

“To [sic] many big words.”

“Yes.”

February was a really bad reading month for me. I got duped and double-crossed left and right by booktubers and book covers — it was not a fun  time. There was some good ones, but no 5 stars, that’s for sure! Here is the first half of what I read because I still read a lot even though I said I wouldn’t but I have clearly needed the escape so back off OKAY?? Everything sucks.

1. Siege & Storm – Leigh Bardugo

OK, I’m just going to say it: Leigh Bardugo’s writing is not great. This was book two in the Grishaverse series and while I moderately enjoyed the first one, now I’m wondering how much of that was actually my subconscious attempting to convince myself that I liked it because this series is SO HYPED in the book world and has recently been adapted into a Netflix series.

This was a fucking CHORE TO READ. Books should not be a chore to read! Not even the ones assigned to us in school! I realized that not only do I not give a shit about a single character (like, some of them die and I just continued reading, unfazed), but I also HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON. I only JUST read the first book last year and my memory is not THAT bad, but I was like, “Who dat? What now?”

One of my FAVORITE YouTubers, this American girl who lives in Korea, LOVES this series and I DON’T GET IT. Cari was the inspiration for me to get back into reading last year because she had a video of her favorite Korean authors, and she has never steered me wrong before, but SO MANY BOOKTUBERS were also in cahoots with this one because I was completely pulled down into their insidious hype.

Cari, I’ll stick with your Seoul cafe suggestions and skip the book recs from now on, I think, THANKYOUV.MUCH.

2. Fever Dream – Samanta Schweblin

Uhhhhh. This was WEIRD. Fever Dream indeed. It’s translated from Spanish (the author is Argentinian, I believe) and we’re basically just reading someone’s novella-length novella. The whole book is told from the perspective of a woman in a hospital bed, talking to a young boy who is coaxing her to describe her interactions with who is presumably his mother. It’s one of those books that, even for its short length, is NOT an easy read. I felt really tense and uncomfortable and also confused, but it was definitely something that will stick with me. It was unique, to say the least, and a great example of environmental issues masked as horror.

3. None Shall Sleep – Ellie Marney

Silence of the Lambs for kids. 100%. I have nothing else to say.

4. What Happens At Night – Peter Cameron

LOL, this was when I was trying to take actual pictures of the books I was reading so I wouldn’t have to copy/paste from Goodreads because that part of the process really irritates me for some reason. Anyway, I did this for two books then forgot to do it again oh well.

But this book was wonderful!!! The ambiance was CREEPY without anything overtly CREEPY even happening?! It gave me big Twin Peaks vibes, because this American couple is visiting some other country in the dead of winter in order to adopt a baby. I don’t think they ever specify the location, but I got a very Russian/Eastern European flavor from the details, and the locals they encounter are basically emitting SOMETIMES MY ARMS BEND BACK vibes – if you know, you know.

The names of the couple are never revealed, they are known only as “the man” and “the woman” and you get a sense of marital discord straight away. They’re staying in a super sus hotel, inhabited by a bartender who stares into space, an old woman who is fancy AF and all up in your biz, a bizarrely boisterous businessman….and the longer the couple stays in the hotel, the more estranged they become. I just can’t really explain it but I had goosebumps while reading it and whisper-laughed “wtf?” when I finished it. Recommended to me through my local library’s recommendation service and I’m starting to feel like these librarians know me too well.

David Lynch-meets-Wes Anderson, kind of?

5. Heiress Apparently – Diana Ma

I wanted to like this one so much more than I did. It was fun, but just didn’t really fulfill the wanderlust hole in my heart.

6. The Little Stranger – Sarah Waters

If you’re looking for a balls-to-the-wall haunted house book, this ain’t it, boo. But if you’re looking for gloriously sweeping writing that you can really immerse yourself in, pick this up. I was worried because this is set in postwar England and I’m just not usually interested in that, but it ended up not mattering at all because I was super swept up in the story of the Ayres family, and their crumbling estate obviously tugged at my heart and reminded me of my own grandparents’ house and the state it was in and how hard we tried to fix it. I felt a huge connection with this stupid house!!

Anyway, this book is pretty long but it’s not dry at all. I enjoyed every second of it, never felt bored, and actually became so engrossed in the relationships between the family and their doctor that anytime sometime creepy would happen, I would be totally caught off guard. There was one moment when I was sitting on the couch, broad daylight, reading it when an envelope slowly slid off the back of the couch and tapped my shoulder, nearly sending me into cardiac arrest.

Sarah Waters is a masterful writer!

After I finished it, I saw that there was a movie adaptation from several years ago, with Ruth Wilson who I like, so I put it on and lost interest pretty quickly. The book is better.

7. Ice Cream Man, Vol. 1: Rainbow Sprinkles – W. Maxwell Prince, Martin Morazzo (illustrator)

After The Little Stranger, I needed to cleanse my palate with something light and short, so I picked up this horror graphic novel. The illustrations were EVERYTHING and totally my style, and the stories were decent too. I think I will definitely continue this series, especially because I always say I want to read more graphic novels and then I never do.

I don’t feel like recapping the other 5 so I guess look forward to part 2? Lol. Lemme know what you’ve read recently that you really loved!

I got really caught up in watching Ginny&Georgia and I’m itching to get back into that so peace out, pee spout.

1. Henry’s Pelican Rescue Club

Did you guys know that the Greek island Mykonos has a pelican mascot names Petros? I didn’t either until I was watching a YouTube video about Mykonos and there was this big ass friendly bird  hanging around a cafe/bakery-ish place and all of these people were treating him like he was a local and he was going inside the place and back behind the counter like he owned it and no one even did a double take. At first I was screaming “WHAT KIND OF BIRD IS THAT” because I am le Dumb at times and Henry calmly said, “That’s a pelican.” I guess I have only seen cartoon pelicans before because for some reason that would not have been my guess.

Anyway, now my curiosity was piqued so I started researching this pelican and ALLEGEDLY as the story goes, back in the 50s a fisherman rescued a pelican and then he became a mainstay, like a tourist attraction, just chilling and being super adorbs to all who passed by. THEN IN THE 80s HE DIED (some people say he was hit by car, I will fucking murder that car if it’s true) and Jackie O., who adored the OG Petros, gifted the island with a new one. NOT SURE if this pelican is still Petros v2.0 but they do apparently have quite a long lifespan, so maybe?

Totally out of the blue, or kapchuggi as one would say in Korea, Henry offered a bit of his SERVICE life to me (these always come in pieces at the most surprising moments.). EVIDENTLY, when he was in PANANA (I can’t even type this without hearing Van Halen in my airy head), HE TOO SAVED A PELICAN!!! According to Henry, he and his SERVICE bro-skis came upon a pelican that was caught in fishing line so they (probably emphasis on “they” and not “Henry”) untangled the pelican and took it to a vet.

“OH MY GOD, WAS IT OK!?!?!?” I cried in horror.

“Well, yeah, I wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise,” Henry scoffed, like I should have known better than to ask.

Of course, days later, I’m still thinking about this shit and I’ve got questions. Like:

• How did they know where that was if they didn’t have an iPhone to google NEAREST VET IN PANAMA THAT WILL ACCEPT A PELICAN?
• Who was the actual hero
• WAS TIM THERE
• Who carried the pelican?
• IS HE CERTAIN THE PELICAN WAS OK????
• Did he get a badge or medal for these heroics?!!?

So I texted Henry just now and demanded that he give me more details. His response?

“That was over 39 years ago and we had been up all night drinking. That’s about all I remember other than what I told you.”

Wow, way to keep a diary, Henry.

(He did confirm that there was no reward for his extracurricular bravery, though.)

He provided this picture of his bro-skis en route to the beach that day! Wow. Those shorts.

MORE INFO: The only other detail Henry can provide is that the guy in the blue shirt is EARL and he got KICKED OUT OF THE ENTIRE SERVICE FOR SMOKING WEED.

The rest of the blog post is all downhill from here, I’m afraid.

2. Actual Ice Cream Sandwich

I have kind of started letting myself watch travel vlogs on YouTube again even though it hurts because BITCH, WHEN but I’m bored and there’s nothing else to do but dream, you know how it is, we’re all in this together! Watching these travel vloggers makes me think back to when I was younger and going on trips with my family, and I honestly can’t remember STREET FOOD or NOVELTY SNACKS or anything like that being “a thing” for travelers to experience in the 80s and 90s. Granted, we always went on chartered tours, but you would think that after visiting Amsterdam like 4x back then, I’d have eventually partook in a stroopwaffle!? You know what I mean? But it was never a thing that was offered to us! Just cheese! So it made me wonder if the whole “foodie” part of traveling just wasn’t as popular then as it is now?

I mean, of course we had regional food in every place we visited, it’s not like we were eating, I dunno, taco salads in Italy or whatever, and we definitely gorged on gelato. But I don’t remember any of the “tourist destinations” being food-based. I’m not making sense, I know. In my slush-brained head, I know what I mean, but life is eroding what semblance of coherence I have left.

The only thing that stands out to me, and I was so excited when I remembered this the other night, was this one time when we were in Taormina, Sicily. We had free time one night so my aunt and I were strolling around, she was probably trying to pick up men and I was probably trying in vain not to look fat, when we stumbled across this street vendor who lured us over with the promise of ice cream. What he was selling ended up being Sicily’s version of the ice cream sandwich – literally ice cream tucked inside a bread bun. I remember thinking, “THIS IS PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE GREAT” because I was 12 and basically a hormonal monster who hated everything on principle.

But it was motherfucking fantastic. Sharon and I were OBSESSED with it and I couldn’t wait to go home and tell everyone about it and by that I mean that I scooped some low quality freezer section vanilla onto your basic Wonderbread hamburger bun and made my family try it.

Of course they were like, “This….ain’t it” and I was so mad because HOW COULD I GET SO FUCKING WRONG.

I felt inspired to look up videos about this delicacy and made Henry watch it with me.

“Oooooh, brioche! They use brioche, yeah that makes sense,” I said, because I’m sure I didn’t know THE FUCK a brioche was when I was 12, ok.

“Yeah, that would make a big difference,” Henry sighed.

3. Fudge Factory 

Speaking of ice cream, Henry was perusing some ice cream shop on Instagram and salivating all up in his face-fur. But then he angled his phone to show me the pictures and suddenly I too had drool pooling in my face-fur….wait.

The name of the place is The Fudge Factory, which I’ve never heard of, so I asked him where it’s located, and before he had a chance to answer, I screeched, “UP YOUR BUTT!!!!!” because that is my standard response anytime Chooch or Henry asks where something is, and this TIME IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE!

I was wheezing!!!! Now I had tears of laughter commingling with the Homer drool in the nooks and crannies of my chins. Even Henry KIND OF laughed, the type of laugh that he tries to stifle lest he encourage me further. So then I had to run upstairs and replay the whole scene for Chooch, who laughed out loud and then quickly tried to take it back because, you know, teenagers can’t think their parents are funny.

4. SHINee video

Probably no one will watch this but I’m still sharing because it’s FUCKING HEART-WARMING. The part where the one girl asks, “Why are there only 4 of you now?”

OUCH MY DUMB HEART.

Even aside from that though it’s fun to watch them relive their journey from debut to now. Their career has been legendary. SHINee for-fucking-ever.

5. I Saw a Person!!

I bought Girl Scouts from one of my old high school friends, Felicia. She mentioned on IG that her daughter was selling them, thank god, because I didn’t have any cookie hook-ups this year! Of course, her daughter wasn’t selling the ones I really wanted (the maple ones that Kara texted me about and got me all hyped for!!)

Funnily, Felicia and I were also in Girl Scouts together and her mom was our troop leader. I’ve only really seen her once since high school (she came to one of my pie parties – AND HER MOM DID TOO!) so it was nice to not only see a real life person on my front porch, but also one that I’ve known since literally first grade.

Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and she mentioned that she runs one of the Texas Roadhouse franchises and I fucking swear to god as she said it, we both in tandem looked slowly down at the crazy collection of peanut shells under my front window and started cracking up. Thank god we follow each other on IG and she knows all about my squirrel exploits, lol.

But yeah, I am fucking starved for human interaction (aside from the dumdums I live with) so I almost clutched her arm and begged her not to leave.

God love Girl Scout cookies, but man they really get skimpier and skimpier with the quantity each other, don’t they? DAMN.

“But it’s for a good cause, Erin!”

Ugh, whatever. I only ordered three boxes: Tagalongs, Samoas, and Lemon Ups or whatever they’re called. I got to have one samoa, one tagalong, and three of the lemon ones before Henry and Chooch devoured the rest like trash compactors for cookies. Jesus.

BONUS: SPEAKING OF BUDDY, here he is eating his walnuts and watching SHINee videos. He has the best life!

Now to get through Friday late shift. What a drag.

In this latest “Anywhere But Here” episode, let’s travel back to 2018 when we strolled around the grounds of the Changdeokgung Palace and ooh’d and ahh’d at cherry blossoms & other lovely spring foliage. 

***

We woke up early on a Saturday morning and set off for some palace-touring. As I mentioned previously, our hotel was in a great location and we were able to walk to several of the Five Grand Palaces of Seoul! Probably would have been a faster/easier walk if we weren’t following Henry’s lead, but….as Henry said, “WE GOT THERE, DIDN’T WE?!”

Wow, tough guy.

I wanted to start with Gyeongbokgung Palace first but Henry was all, “my way or the highway” or some other Dad-ism, so we went to Changdeokgung Palace first. I know, it’s hard to keep the names straight! But the one that starts with a G is like, the most popular one I guess.

In hindsight though, our crazy walks are something I look back on now and laugh about. I miss it! We saw a lot of crazy shit this way and it reaffirmed that we definitely were better suited sans itinerary. As much as I loved the European adventures I went on as a kid with my family, it was so much better not to be tied down to a group agenda and panicking everyday because you’re close to missing bus call. For this trip, we had a list of things we wanted to do and we played it by ear. Sometimes we didn’t know what we were doing until after we woke up that morning! It was slightly stressful for me at times because I’m an undercover control freak, but I quickly learned to just go with it and maybe that’s why we managed to make it through our Korea pilgrimage with minimal fighting.

Donhwamun Gate, the largest of all palace gates. Get on Donhwamun’s level, other gates. 

According to Wiki, this Palace literally translates to “Prospering Virtue Palace.” It was the second palace to be established after Gyeongbokgung, which is the one I wanted to see first but that’s OK Henry, fuck up the chronological order!

The original palace was built between 1405-1412 but burnt down during the Japanese invasion in 1592 and again in 1623 but each time it was rebuilt, and the reconstruction remained true to its original form. It’s incredibly humbling and sobering to be walking around grounds filled with so much history and tragedy.

Chooch might have a future as a Walmart greeter, you guys.

We got there early enough that it wasn’t flooded with tourists yet. Look at the mountain peeking out back there! I believe that’s part of Mt. Bugaksan. One of the things I didn’t know about Korea until I started marinating in a KOREA 101 bath is that Korea is like, 70% mountains! And almost everywhere you go in Seoul, you can see them. It’s one of the things I loved so much about this city, that no matter how urban and cosmopolitan it feels in one direction, if you pivot another way, you’ve got a mountain looming over you, or a Palace’s ancient presence behind you. Seoul has everything. Seoul IS everything.

Injeongjeon Hall

This is the throne hall, where all The Big Events took place back in the day, like coronations and poisonings probably.

This is the inside of Injeongjeon Hall. I bet lots of scary people have mingled under those chandeliers.

And now please enjoy some gratuitous spring flower shots:

The spring buds were like celebs, man. There were some cherry blossoms that you couldn’t get anywhere near because of the throng of older people with their tripods and huge lenses.

It was so deserted in this area that I was afraid we weren’t supposed to be there. Those trees though.

I was so glad that Chooch got to experience all this history! He was really into it.

This was before ancient Korean spirits possessed Chooch and me and gave us the ability to lacerate Henry’s feelings with our hunger-driven words.

Because, we would never normally be mean to Henry.

Lol.

I had to go for my annual wellness test this morning at work, and when the lab tech was getting ready to take my blood pressure, he said, “Just think about things that make you happy.” And immediately, in my mind, I was walking the peaceful grounds of Changdeokgung again.

For the first time in a year, I’ve allowed myself to feel the TINIEST SPARK OF HOPE over the promise that all US adults will be able to get vaccinated by the end of May. I’m just really tired of being so doom & gloom and purposely pessimistic in order to prevent let downs and I just want a moment of hope.

Cautious optimism.

Whatever.

And maybe because it’s now March, which is always (until last year) historically a good mental month for me (except for that time I tried to kill myself in 2000 but I digress), and maybe it’s because today was sunny and in the 50s and I didn’t cry at all, but I just felt a sudden jolt of THIS WILL END AT SOME POINT giddiness. So I started thinking, “Erin, what are the first things you are going to do when it’s safe to do the things again?” and my mind exploded like a Gallagher watermelon, because SO MANY THINGS!

I want to go to Kennywood! I want to go to as many amusement parks, post-vaccination, as possible! I won’t even complain about standing in line! I won’t publicly fight with Henry when overtaken by hanger and then demand that we leave (it’s always a bluff though). I won’t whine about looking “old and ugly” in the on-ride photos! JUST STUFF ME IN A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER!

I want to eat in a restaurant!!!! All of the restaurants!!!! Which one first!?!? Zenith? BLUE FLAME?? TILLIES???

I want to go on a stupid road trip to see stupid roadside attractions and I promise I won’t even complain when Henry books us a room in the Cecil Hotel – Wisconsin branch. And I won’t bitch when Henry pulls over at the 87th rest stop to piss. Or when Chooch mouths off from the backseat.

I want to see my brother Corey’s new house!!! And go on bizarre day trips with him to wineries and Amish country, where we will start cracking up uncontrollably and everyone will hate us!!

I want to go to the Hollywood Theater and see a horror movie with Chooch and Janna! And sit in the balcony with a bottle of Ramune!!!

I want to have breakfast at Pamela’s with Jeannie and Wendy!!!

I want to see the Armor For Sleep reunion show that got canceled last summer and has been continuously rescheduled!!! AND MAYBE KPOP WILL COME TO AMERICA AGAIN?? MAYBE I CAN FINALLY SEE SHINEE?!!?

I want to have a party!!! Possibly not even THEMED, just a regular fucking “Come hang out & let me look at you!!” party!! THAT SOUNDS WEIRD AND I DON’T CARE. I MISS THE FACES OF MY FRIENDS.

I want to go to Sugar Spell and EAT MY ICE CREAM INSIDE and talk to the lovely owners!!!

I want the death count to stop going up!!!! Which is why even though I could have been doing a lot of these things for the last year, I have opted to stay home!

Oh dear lord, I am so ready. I am not thriving. I know I’m not alone in that corner. I’m not a super social person, and while I can’t complain about the convenience and comfort of working from home, I miss seeing all of my friends in the office and going on lunch break walks. (I DO NOT MISS THE TROLLEY THOUGH.) So I think even just getting back into a daily routine will GREATLY elevate my mindset.

And I’m ready for the day when we can viably and safely reschedule our Germany/Netherlands/Belgium trip because our refunded $$$ is doing the equivalent of a Facebook poke to me everyday. YES I KNOW YOU ARE THERE AND YES I AM DYING TO SPEND THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

This was in my Korean practice tonight FML.

My entire basis of existing is built around “going somewhere” and I have felt so lost this past year. Obviously, if I have to do this shit for another fucking year, I will. BUT I WILL NOT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Man, imagine if actual professionals who believed in science were in charge when this first happened.

Oh well. Here are some pictures of my cats.

Peace out, pee spout. (I JUST MADE THAT UP DON’T STEAL IT.)

(OH WOW I JUST GOOGLED THAT.)

Saturday was ok!

We have been slowly cleaning/purging our bedroom and suddenly Drew appeared on our bed and you need to know that this rarely happens because she’s very terrified of our room for some reason and only comes in a handful times a year, and only after long-jumping over the threshold. I guess my room must be haunted?! We did just get a new mattress and haven’t picked out a new frame yet so maybe the fact that the bed is lower to the ground appeals to her? Anyway, this was a super big deal!

Henry hung up the pinball marquee, as previously mentioned, and we went to Target for boring things like pillows. Later that night, I watched the last episode of It’s A Sin and it WAS A LOT. I have this weird, morbid obsession with the 1980s AIDS crisis – not in a YAY AIDS! way, but just because I guess I enjoy having my heart ripped out and feeling extremely frustrated and helpless that so many people suffered through it and that, big shocker, it became political. One of my favorite booktubers is from the UK and she mentioned this show a while back so I had been waiting for it to pop up on HBO.

It was SO GOOD. Heart-wrenching, yes, but shit—those characters felt like my actual friends. (Colin forever.) Anyway, when the last episode ended, I was so torn apart and desperate to hug Chooch so I ran upstairs to demand he hug me, but he was in the bathroom doing his nighttime facial routine so he slammed the door on me as he yelled, “WHAT?”

“I want a hug!” I cried, standing outside the bathroom.

“Oh my god,” I heard him gurgle as he splashed his face. Then we started arguing through the door because it was taking him too long to come out (like a whole minute but do you know me? I hate waiting!!) and then when he did, he gave me the most pathetic one-armed hug and mumbled, “You’re so annoying” and to be honest I didn’t even want the hug anymore because he made me wait!!!

Anyway, highly recommend It’s a Sin, even though the previews made it seem like Neil Patrick Harris had a much bigger role.

Sunday was OK. Henry and I went to one of the Asian markets first thing in the morning and I spent the whole time picking up various things and googling “Can squirrels eat [insert various things]?” We ended up getting them a bag of chestnuts and those have been going over well!

Then Henry went to pick up our latest Sugar Spell pre-order. This time, in honor of their second anniversary, they brought back 6 of their most popular, signature pints and at the last minute, I decided to skip this round because I am really trying hard to get back on my healthy eating kick (I’m still pretty fucking healthy but being home has me making some bad choices!) and also I sometimes feel guilty that we’re taking pints away from people who have less luck at beating the crowds. BUT! The next night, they also released some of their ICE CREAM PIES and I have never tried one of their ICE CREAM PIES so I was like, “Fuck it, get a pie, Henry” and that’s what he was doing while Chooch and I were choking on our sweat and tears during Level 10 of Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution and asking each other, “WHY DID WE DECIDE TO REVISIT THIS!?”

So Henry went to pick up the pie on Sunday and came home with a pint of Rocky Road too which is the one flavor I was really going to gun for if I had opted to order pints this time around.

“I bought this for myself,” Henry said, while Chooch and I laughed and grabbed spoons.

Anyway that pie—-to quote the great Uncle Jesse Katsopolis, “HAVE MERCY.”

Here’s Chooch matching another part of the house.

Well, aside from all this, I went on a bunch of walks, ate bibimbap made with oatmeal instead of rice (so…bibim….oatmeal? I don’t know the Korean for oatmeal and don’t feel like looking it up—OK fine I looked it up and it’s literally oatmeal lol) which was DELICIOUS thank you Henry and also Cheap Lazy Vegan, and then I watched the new Walking Dead which was “eh” until they showed Maggie and Glenn’s son Hershel and then I fucking lost my mind and also Negan looked like Henry at the end of the episode:

I had been looking forward to this past weekend more than usual, not because we had anything planned, but because I took Monday off and the thought of three work-free days was just making me legit giddy. I’m sure it’s not just me, but work has been especially trying. It’s hard enough navigating things remotely but we have also been training a new person and it’s been a lot. I am so much better face-to-face than trying to share my screen from home and have all my jokes and sarcastic jabs bomb tragically.  I know that I’m getting burnt out and that I will find a way to recharge and bounce back, because I always do. And that starts with taking a day off! Which I knew I needed the other day when I completely lost my patience and temper and that rarely happens because Work Erin is a completely closed off and dialed back version of Real Erin, so my co-workers were actually shocked and said that they couldn’t imagine me being mad and when I laughingly relayed this later to Henry, he murmured, “Wow, they really don’t know you….lucky.”

Wow, thanks Henry.

Anyway, I was determined to just relax and be cool all weekend, and I think I succeeded because I can’t remember my heart racing at any point (aside from Jillian Michaels Time!).

Hopefully we won’t be getting any more snow for the season and we can start doing more outdoorsy things (I hate being outside during winter) especially since nearly all our bigger projects are finished (except for that fucking subway sign because now Henry is trying to figure out how he wants to hang it since it’s so massive, ugh). I just gotta get out of this fucking house.

Skip this if you’re 100% over reading about my dumb kitchen.

But look, I’m excited because it’s one of the few positive things that have come out of this past pandemic year for me, if we can even consider anything positive. I’ve considered it nearly 100% done for some time now but there are always little additions here and there can be done – for instance, I just put in an order for a custom roller skate rug to put on one of the blank cabinets & I’m really excited about it but the wait time is 6-8 weeks so catch me over here acting like I’m being patient while actually screaming to Henry WHY ISNT IT HERE YET three days later.

I would like to get a small neon flamingo for the wall by the fridge (not a $$$ custom one like the ramen bowl we have, but just a cheap one from Amazon or wherever), and Henry still has to do whatever to that conair phone to make it light up. So the state of the kitchen will probably just always stay in flux at this point until we move!

BUT! From the beginning, I knew I wanted a big conversation piece to go on the pink wall above the spice rack, rather than a bunch of little things. When I think of the 80s, video arcades always come to mind. Man, my brother Ryan and I spent A LOT of time at the ones in our local mall, and our Pappap was also super into them. He had several arcade games and pinball in his basement game rooms, and even gave my family two for our basement, too. I think he was friends with someone who dealt in arcade games, and I can picture that dude very clearly (I want to say his name was…Gary?) with his big-ass brown tinted eye-glasses and 1980s bowl cut.

Sorry, I’m not one to ever pass up taking the long way down Memory Lane, obviously.

Anyway, I definitely cannot fit a real life arcade game of any sort in my kitchen (or anywhere else in this house for that matter!) except maybe one of those tiny ones that were outside of Korean convenience stores in the 80s, where you basically sat on the ground and played. But I thought maybe it would be cool to get something similar to my Mouse Attack sign, and that’s how I fell down the pinball back glass rabbit hole last summer.

I hemmed and hawed over it for quite some time though because these things aren’t cheap – even the reproductions are pricey but I felt like if I was going to invest in something like this in the name of Art, then go big or go home, right? So I found an original back glass from the Coney Island pinball game, circa 1979, and I chose this one because it has something on it for all of us:

a roller coaster for Chooch and me;

a clown for me;

a bikini-clad for Henry.

I just really felt strongly about this one, so I bought it…

…and then it sat on the back porch for like 3 months, only to eventually move to the basement where it sat in a corner for another 2 months until Henry finally felt inspired to start working on.

And by working on it, I mean that it was our initial understanding that after I bought it, he would built a frame for it so it could be hung on the wall. Simple, right? Henry is Man! Man build Things! Wood, saw, rah rah rah!

But…then upon further consideration, I added, “But also make it light up. Like, with carnival lights. So it’s like a marquee.” And then Henry died inside a little, but he did agree! It took him FOREVER to find the lights though. Eventually he found some dealer on eBay who sells lots of used carnival lights so he snagged a box of them – my brother Corey thinks this is the best part of the whole story, the fact that Henry know has a plug for carnival lights, lol.

He started working on it, like REALLY working on it, over Valentine’s Day weekend, and finally finished it Friday night.

He’s really been putting his old electrician’s apprentice skills to use these days! I kept going into the basement to check on him and I would say things like, “How do you know how to do this” and the look he would give me in response would have made my weener wilt if I had one.

He hung it up on the wall yesterday and I honestly couldn’t be happier!

He is going to make a back for it that has white lights attached so that the glass will eventually be backlit, but the lights he ordered aren’t here yet. I told him to just hang it up now anyway because it’s still pretty perfect!

If you told me a year ago that one day the kitchen would be the best room in the house, I’d assume that something tragic must have happened to all the other rooms, seriously. The old kitchen was such a factory of sadness.

My whole brand is …”AND MAKE IT LIGHT UP” so having this new light feature in the house is making my mental state super leveled-out.

My decorating aesthetic might not appeal to everyone, but I just really would rather have large, crazy pieces that might not be worth much to most people, but are OOAK and possibly even made by Henry and myself, than something that I can just buy from a store. I’m luck that Henry is so willing to help me bring these ideas to life instead of being like, “Can’t you just hang a framed Marilyn Monroe quote like everyone else?”

But the best part about this getting finished is that now Henry has time to work on the Seoul subway sign that might never ever get finished but he refuses to admit defeat, so stayed tune AND HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY!

Oh why hello there. Warning: this is going to be completely scattered. I mean, when is it not. But you know.

1.  Math Blasting Myself in the Foot

OK OK OK, listen. It’s no big secret that I was a Big Spoiled B when I was a kid. Good thing that didn’t shape who I am as an adult, amirite guy? Lol. So you’ll understand why I was SUPER PISSED when my Aunt Sharon, who was like my second mom and did her fair share in helping my grandparents spoil me rotten (hence the rotten apple tattoo I have on my arm), told me that her goddaughter Nicky was getting a computer for Christmas.

Now, I HATED Sharon’s goddaughter, probably because I didn’t really understand what that even meant to be a goddaughter, but also because she was only a year older than me and I was supremely jealous anytime Sharon did anything for her. (And it wasn’t even that often! Nicky’s mom was Sharon’s friend and they hung out so infrequently that I think I only actually met Nicky once or twice and just remembered that she was a GINGER.) Clearly, Sunday School wasn’t doing a great job with keeping the hate out of my heart.

So this was back when I was in 2nd grade, in 1987, and home computers weren’t what they are today, obviously, and I had never even wanted one until now that NICKY was getting one, what a dumb bitch! I wanted a computer too, suddenly! I mean, what–no, I had wanted a computer before Nicky, like since before I was BORN, what are you talking about, this wasn’t fair! I was already fuming about this, but to add salt to the wound, Sharon was like, “COME TO THE COMPUTER STORE WITH ME AND HELP ME PICK OUT A GAME FOR NICKY SINCE YOU ARE BASICALLY THE SAME AGE.” Oh.my.fucking.god. I was LIVID about this, like Firestarter-levels of fury. But I let her drag me along to this dumb computer store which no longer exists but we sometimes drive past its former location and every so often I have flashbacks and wonder where that dumb bitch Nicky is today.

ANYWAY!!! So we go to this idiotic store and I’m being SUCH A CUNT and rejecting all of Sharon’s suggestions. Then, I see this totally boring-looking game called MATH BLASTER and imagined Nicky tearing open Sharon’s meticulous giftwrap-job, expecting some Sharon-level present (Sharon always gave the best presents) but instead seeing some dumb computer game that was just an extension of school. Yay, now you can come home from school and do more school! Dumb bitch, that’s what you deserve.

So Sharon was like, “OK I trust  your judgment” or whatever, probably something like that, and she paid for it with her CHARGE CARD probably or maybe wrote a CHECK, because 1986, while I stood there glaring, with my arms folded across my chest I’m sure because this was my standard pout pose. (It might still be, ask Henry.)

Imagine my surprise that Christmas when, after I already opened like 80 gifts because my grandparents loved me best, my Pappap was like, “OH WOW ERIN I WONDER WHAT ALL THESE GIFTS ARE” after unveiling a series of boxes clumped together off to the side of the sun porch, where we often celebrated our Christmases at my grandparents’ house.

My very own Apple II GS and a printer!

And then there was a smaller box, but you already know.

Math Blaster.

Turns out Nicky wasn’t the one getting the computer after all, that was just Sharon’s ruse to see….what kind of games I would want.

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW.

I don’t remember what made this memory pop into my head but the other night when Henry and I were getting ready for bed, I just started babbling about it and he was like “……………” and then I went to bed angry at the recollection of that FUCKING GAME. I was so bad at it!!

2. G-Dragon + Jennie

Is it true (okidokido)? At first I was like, “This seems false” because I just can’t picture him with someone like her, and you know obviously I’m SO CLOSE to both of them that I am qualified to make these types of assessments. My friend Veronica speculated that it could be a publicity stunt because maybe GD has an album coming out and I was like DARE TO DREAM because we VIPs are hungry over here, guys. BIGBANG needs to throw us a bone here soon.

But I dunno, it seems like it could be true and if it is, it’s pretty fucking adorable. I mean, they have known each other for quite some time and I know a lot of us were holding out hope that it would be him and one of the girls from 2NE1 (though I personally shipped him with I.U.!), it doesn’t matter as long as both parties are happy! Honestly, when I saw I worry about GD everyday, I’m not being facetious.

Also, my coworkers emailing me to see if I’m OK with this is the sweetest thing ever!

3. Bobo Bobolinski

My dad was good friends with this dude who had 4 sons and the one that was my age was my dad’s godson (oh boy, here we go again!) except that I actually liked this kid. Our families hung out a lot at cookouts, birthday parties, etc., but the one who was my age, Shawn, was the one who was with us the most because even though he was the same age as me, he got along real well with my younger brother Ryan. Plus, you know, the whole godson thing – my dad was always inviting him to Kennywood with us and things like this.

Anyway, my mom texted me a recent picture of all 4 boys with their wives and I was like HOLY SHIT THEY ARE SO OLD, OMG THAT MEANS SO AM I. I haven’t seen any of those guys since I was in high school, because my parents eventually separated and then divorced, so there were no more fun hangouts, but seeing that picture made me miss those days SO MUCH.

Shawn was ALWAYS at our house during the summer of ’92 – it’s when we had a French exchange student staying with us and is still to this day the best summer I ever had. This was also the summer that my dad bestowed upon Shawn a nickname that has stuck so well, that I actually hesitated before typing “Shawn” throughout this entire section. One day, we had taken the dumb French kid to Laurel Caverns, which is like a rite of passage for kids in any kind of Scouts-type group and also just fun for a basic family outing too. While we were there, Shawn slipped and smacked his face off one of the rock walls of the cavern, inspiring my dad to blurt out, “Good job, Bobo.” Then later, I can’t remember if it was the same day or not because I actually wasn’t there for this one, my dad had Bobo, my brother Ryan, and that dumb French kid at a place called Ohio Pyle, where once again, Bobo slipped and smacked his face off of rocks, so now the name Bobo had solidified, now with the surname of Boboliski.

Now, this was also the summer of the Atlanta Olympics so this was the backdrop for many of memories that summer, most notably the time my BFF Christy was over and we were all casually watching gymnastics. I remember Bobo laying on his side on the floor, in front of the coffee table, and saying, “Shannon Miller is a good gymnast.” Literally, that was all he said, just some stale statement, superlative-free, about his opinion of one Shannon Miller. Well, too bad he said this in the presence of Christy and me because we turned it into the Love of the Century and ran around screaming “OMG BOB LOVES SHANNON MILLER!” for the rest of ever.

I have one super specific memory of Bobo in our basement, trying his damnedest to play Pacman (we had the actual arcade game) while blocking out Christy and me who were buzzing around him like the most annoying middle school flies, screaming love sonnets involving Bobo and Shannon Miller.

I just told Henry this story the other night and he was like, “Wow. You are the same.”

That’s Bobo on the far right, French dummy on left, Christy then me.

4. Speaking of the Olympics…

I hope that Covid fucks off because I want Henry’s mom to come over and watch the Olympics (if they happen this summer) so I can live-blog. I had SO MUCH FUN watching the 2016 summer Olympics with her.

Watching the Olympics with Judy 

Plus two more!

Olympics with Judy: Part 2

Olympics with Judy: Part 3

5. Weekend Jamz

You guys I am OBSESSED with the new SHINee album. It is QUINTESSENTIAL SHINEE and I cant listen to it without running spastic laps around my house. It is giving me that spring fever-ish zest for life where I want to just forget all of my problems and frolic through a filed of tulips or whatever bullshit you happy-go-lucky people do. So, in an effort to dispel good vibes, I’d like to send you off with two of my current favorite from their new album:

And they have been performing this song in addition to Don’t Call Me, and it too is a bop which is something I don’t normally like to say because it makes me feel like I should be hanging out with Taylor Swift fans or something but this song is so motherfucking upbeat and I’m ready to, I dunno, make Henry dance with me maybe.

SHINee are goddamn pop legends. Please support them!

I used to be friends with this one broad who was SO UP IN MY RELATIONSHIP with Henry that it was kind of gross. And every holiday she’d be all, WHAT DID HENRY GET YOU – like bitch step off. Jesus. It was frustrating because Henry and I don’t *always* exchange gifts and she was giving me a complex about this, like he must not love me. But you know what that they say: better to have someone who does little things for you every day than big things on holidays – I think someone said that? Maybe?

Anyway, my point is that we don’t go all out for each other every Valentine’s Day, although some years are more inspired than others (like that ONE TIME I baked him a cake and will never let him forget it). This year, I did zilch for him, but LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BANGLE HE GOT ME!

Full disclosure, he knew I wanted it and went through this whole rigmarole of measuring my hand before ordering it, lol. It felt like redemption though and here’s why: I love this jeweler (Martha Rotten) so much. I bought a doll-head ring from her probably about 8 years ago and it is sooooo chunky and eye-catching, and you know, totally my style. So then one time several years later, Henry and I went to Riot Fest in Chicago and she was a vendor there!! I got to gush to her face about how much I love her work and even pointed out the ring and yelled “I HAVE THIS ONE!” and she was like “OK cool story” but in a nice way and I was psychically pleading with Henry to let me buy something but this was back when we were less financially secure so Henry answered my silent pleas with silent LOOK of his own and I was like OK WE WILL BE BACK! but of course we never came back because wasn’t it enough that we drained our accounts for a three-day music festival in the mid-west, Erin? GOD!

But every once in awhile, I revisit her Etsy shop and drool over the new(-to-me) additions. When I saw this planchette bangle, I was like I WANT THIS and sent it to Henry.

It just arrived the other day and I am obsessed. I love big, heavy jewelry so much! (This is going to make Henry’s head explode because my actual Day Of Valentine’s present was a new FitBit but I freaked out because it was too big and I was uber-aware of it on my wrist so he took it back lol. I don’t want my FUNCTIONAL accessories to be clunky!!)

Ew, ignore my awful nail polish.

Also arriving on the same day as my bangle was the F21 clothes I got Chooch during their President’s Day sale. I mean, someday when we have places to go again, we’ll at least have lots of new clothes and accessories, because online shopping is like my pandemic sport.

Anyway! Last night, I was like, “Put on this shirt and stand in front of the door” because shit is SO EXCITING around these parts.

Actually these are just tigers probably BUT IT’S MY BLOG AND IF I WANT THEM TO BE BENGALS FOR THE SAKE OF A BLOG POST TITLE, THEN BLAH BLAH BLAH.

He’s just lucky I didn’t make him put on the tiger robe too….(why didn’t I make him put on the tiger robe too!?!??!).

Welp, that’s all for me (except that the latest news in the Kpop world is that G-Dragon and Jenny from Blackpink are dating OMFG!!!).

Sometimes I make a conscious effort to not coat this Internet space with fan girl vom, but I have no control over that today because it’s SHINee’s comeback, their first one since Onew, Key, and Minho have been discharged from the military!

The 7th album is every synonym of a chefs kiss. My favorite song is either Body Rhythm or Kiss Kiss, but the first single Don’t Call Me is also PERFECTION – they all look and sound so good. Ugh that ubiquitous SHINee sound!

Most of you know that they’re my second favorite Korean group but honestly, if BIGBANG’s hiatus lasts any longer, they might end up eclipsing them at some point here.

JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE.

Actual clothes worn by SHINee! This is from the SM Town museum in Seoul.

I have felt like I’ve been on the receiving end of the warmest, most familiar hug while listening to this new album and I hope it’s always like that for me.

THIS SONG TOO THO ugh I can’t pick a favorite but this song has THAT SHINEE SOUND that makes me feel this intensely strong pull to South Korea. It’s seriously like the biggest crush I’ve ever had.

I get some low-key 1980s-era Genesis vibes from the instrumentals on this track which obvi makes me love it more.

Today when Henry came home from work, I screamed DID U WATCH THE SHINEE VIDEO and he was like “of course I did, duh” and I think it really says so much that he also is into Kpop comebacks, when he never gave a single shit or reacted at all to any of the new releases from the Warped Tour-esque bands I used to love.

Laugh all you want but Kpop changed my life for the better and – I don’t want to say “saved” because we weren’t like on the skids or anything, but it gave Henry and me something to BOTH LIKE AT THE SAME TIME. Omg a shared interest?!

I’m just so stoked on this new SHINee right now and I would really love to have a Kpop party to brainwash all of my friends with it. Ugh fuck you Covid. Winter sucks in general but a winter after a year of semi-isolation sucks the most. I’m going to have so many imaginary friends by the time we’re in the clear, maybe even enough to start my own girl group.

In other news, I was super hyper because of SHINee and pretending to puke down Henry’s shirt but when I grabbed his collar to tug it, my cold hands touched his skin and he reflexively turned and we banged heads and now I think I have a concussion for a super dumb reason. This is almost as bad as when I wanted to see how hard I would have to squeeze a Milk-Bone to break it and when it snapped, it sliced me in that weird turkey-chin part of the hand between the thumb and pointer finger and my mom was like YOU BETTER PRAY YOU DONT NEED STITCHES BC I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL FOR THAT.

I’m just sitting here relaxing on a Sunday evening and thought that instead of waiting until next week or never to talk about the weekend, why not just do it now even though the weekend is still alive? Because it’s actually been a pretty nice one for once! (I mean, I shouldn’t say “for once” – but during covid times, it’s basically just more of the same, minus the logging on for work.)

Saturday started off STRONG with Henry coming home with baked goods for 350 Bakery and sorry but I do not pause to take pictures of these sugary AM delights anymore. Then we walked to the post office and the library – Saturday traditions, I guess. After that, Chooch went to the Teen Center and Henry had to go to the Man Store and get Tools and Stuff so I hung out with the cats and squirrels and then decided to see how selfie-licious the Cure Corner actually is, because I’ve wanted for some time to have FOTO ZONES around my house and this just seems like it’s calling out for some vanity shots, yanno?

I’m just really feeling myself every time I sit in this chair! I’m so happy with this dumb corner. It reminds me of all the trendy cafes I’ve gone to  that has that ONE COVETED SPOT with the cool backdrop that you can never get anywhere close to because some dumb influencer with a fresh balayage got there when it opened and has since posted 87 pictures to her IG story but still REFUSES TO LEAVE.

Except now I can sit there whenever the hell I want, letting my gray hairs fly freely because fuck a salon during the pandemic.

I just wish I had someone bringing me a latte instead of having to make my own cuppa French press. Sigh.

That neon backlight, tho! It even makes *me* look decent!

I’m still collecting some more of my Cure memorabilia to add to the area (I think I already talked about this recently but I have no idea what is happening IRL as opposed to in my head, so…) but the one thing that I would really liked to add is a hidden speaker somewhere that starts playing random Cure songs when someone starts walking up the steps. Am I asking for too much? Henry?

Then a bunch of nothing happened while Henry went in the basement and worked on my Coney Island pin ball sign.

He gets really mad for some reason when I visit him in the basement to check on his progress. And when I ask him things like, “But how do you know how to do this stuff?” I guess someone REALLY paid attention in high school shop class!

Then Chooch and I did our Jillian workout and I spent the rest of the evening watching the Professor of Rock YouTube channel while Penelope snoozed next to me:

Professor of Rock has some really great videos about 80s music which is my cuppa…French press.  Henry was “taking a break” from sign-making for the night so he joined me in time to watch one about “In the Air Tonight” and what I wouldn’t give to go back in time and relive my cherry-popping experience of that jam. I have a visceral memory of what I imagine to be the first time I heard Genesis’ “Tonight Tonight Tonight” though, when I was probably 6? 7? and I still think about it every time I hear that song. It haunts me in the best ways.

This brings us to Sunday! I saw Janna for the first time in a year! Literally! The last time we saw each other was right before the pandemic when we went to the Hollywood Theater to see JoJo Rabbit. I know that people have still been hanging out with friends and family and vacationing and living their lives since all of this started and maybe I’m on erring on the side of EXTREME CAUTION but I just have not felt comfortable doing any of these things. And I know that Janna has also been taking the virus seriously, as well. But we decided that we would meet up for a masked walk through Jefferson Memorial and it was SO GOOD TO SEE HER! My throat was actually sore from talking so much! Look, no offense to Henry and Chooch but I AM SO TIRED OF ONLY HAVING THEM TO HANG OUT WITH.

And while I was gone, Henry sent me this:

!!!!!

It’s not done yet but this is basically what it will look like. He spent all weekend building the frame and drilling the holes for the marquee lights to sit in, and I’m just so delighted! He just primed the frame and then will paint it white tomorrow. The glass will be backlit by LEDs and then once the lightbulbs come from wherever he ordered them, it’ll be ready to hang in the kitchen and then he can start working (for the 769874545th time) on my Seoul subway sign.

Also, the marquee lights aren’t in there permanently – Henry just set them in there to show me that he finally finished the holes. Believe me, my Type A-ism will take over and I’ll have the last say in the way they’re arranged, lol.

Then we did some shopping and picked up Mandy’s Pizza for dinner.

Mandy’s is the best because they have an entire vegan menu in addition to their regular one and their vegan ham & cheese hoagie makes me feel like a kid looking out the window in the backseat of my Pappap’s car one night while we drove home from his favorite car dealership, Grabiak’s (my Pappap collected Corvettes and I think this is where he got them!?!), with “Tonight Tonight Tonight” playing on the radio. Either my aunt Susie or Sharon was also there and I just remember feeling so content. That’s what Mandy’s ham & cheese does for me, too.

I honestly don’t think I ever even heard the word “foment” before until that former President, forever dingleberry Trump incited an insurrection and suddenly that was the word du jour on all the news channels.

Anyway. Just wanted an excuse to use that.

So here are some things, not necessarily five as we’re wont to do here on Fridays, because I’m feeling more in a freestyle mood if you know what I mean and if you do please tell me because I don’t know anymore.

I watched that Netflix documentary about the Cecil Hotel last week – it was good but I felt it was also kind of repetitive and while I wished there were more episodes exploring more of the dark history instead of just focusing on the Elisa Lam case, I also think that they could have accomplished the same thing in probably less. Does that even make sense or am I typing in circles again.

Numerous times while watching this, I had the thought that this is 100% the type of Roadside Shack of Doom that Henry has put us up in various times throughout the years. In fact, I’m convinced that if we had had to stay in LA at any point during our whirlwind trip to Coachella in 2004, we would have been walking the same blood-stained hallways that Richard Ramirez once roamed. I mean, the actual place he booked for us during that trip was a Knights Inn in San Bernardino that was also hooker housing (I talked to one of them when she came out of a neighboring room as I was petting a stray cat and she said, “Oh, there’s lots of cats around here – we feed them every day!”).

And let’s not forget that seedy Red Carpet Inn outside of Newark – I mean, THE CONNOTATION AND ALLUSION BEHIND “RED CARPET” IN THIS CONTEXT ALONE IS NAUSEATING.

This inspired me to go digging for that particular vacation journal because, can’t travel now so might as well live vicariously through past sojourns, right? A thing you need to know about me is that I have fucking journals all over the house. Like, tons of them. Like, if I ever became a former President, they’d have a good place to start with my library collection. Until you get to the later ones when I wasn’t yet aware of how problematic my “jokes” were. Y-I-K-E-S. Let’s just say I’ve had lots of years (and self-education) to, um, grow away from that.

While digging through a cedar trunk (Henry’s from the SERVICE!!!) of my self-penned tomes, I found the very first journal in my Vacation Series, which I must have started when I was 9ish?

I barged into Chooch’s room to read him this super adorable disclaimer but he interrupted me to guess, “does it say ‘caution: very uninteresting content’?” WOW JUST WOW guess I won’t be leaving him my hand-written vacation journal canon in my Will.

Eventually, I did find the specific journal I was looking for and was reminded of how mentally unstable and self-loathing I was back in 2004 when Henry and I took that California trip – I was apparently VERY AWARE of the girth of my arms and fixated on it to the point that it ruined the entire vacation for me and probably made Henry reconsider his choices. I’m still very neurotic and self-conscious but I think I have gotten A LITTLE better over the years!?

Yikes.

My mom asked me if I want these torch lights that she salvaged from my grandparents’ house because she feels that it would really complete my decor, lol. Yes I want them! However, after going back and looking at pictures of them when they were still hanging in saluting stasis in my Pappap’s goth hallway (which, ironically, was blood-red carpeted), I’m now remembering how gigantic these suckers are and wondering where I would put them, plus there’s the whole electrical side of it to consider (Henry reminded me 87 times during this discussion that we do not own this house and while he has his electrician-guy background, he doesn’t want to be doing electrical work on a house that he does not own). UGHHHH. What to do!? I  guess I will take them and store them and hope that one day I will wake up and think, “This is the day we start actively house-hunting.” I dunno why I’m being so lazy about this. (I mean, I do know – it’s because we don’t want to be limited to where we can buy a house while Chooch is in school, but still, I have to wonder how much of that is just an excuse because I’m such a fucking weirdo when it comes to change.)

(Hopefully Chooch, the Zillow Prince, doesn’t read that last line and take that as his cue to start sending me house listings again lol.)

Back to my vacation journals. The one with the Coachella recount also had the tail end of our weekend 2003 road trip to Lancaster, PA which was supposed to be my consolation prize for Henry ruining my birthday trip to Boston/Salem by getting the flu (according to my journal, we had to abandon our Salem itinerary halfway through the day and go back to the hotel because Henry thought he was having a heart attack and knowing me, because you know, I am me, I’m sure I verbally eviscerated him the entire car ride back for ruining my day. Anyway!!! I know certain reader(s) enjoy being taught shit by Henry, so here’s a little lesson that he taught  me at 8:43PM on August 8th, 2003:

Truck drivers used to “swap” toll tickets so their toll would be cheaper but then they got caught, which is why the rest areas usually have two different ways to get in so that the traffic doesn’t cross or something. [Now that I’m typing this based on what I wrote in my vacation journal, it doesn’t make sense so I’m sure I was only half-assedly listening.] Anyway, those shady-ass truckers got busted because of the discrepancy in time on the turnpike tickets. Quotes Henry, “It made it look like it only took them an hour to drive 300 miles.

Hahahaha!” According to my journal, I laughed really loudly and mockingly so I basically haven’t changed at all. Sorry, Hank.

Drew likes to sit on the mantle, much to my chagrin, and here she is bird-watching with Trudy. Please note that after this morning, Trudy no longer is wearing the matador-red tiger robe because it was bringing out the bull in Drew’s sister Penelope, and I’ll tell you what, little gets the blood pumping quite like the sound of a mannequin hitting the floor behind you in an otherwise ghostly-quiet house while you’re concentrating on work.

I’ve started to slowly add things to the wall adjacent to the Cure Corner – when I say I have a lot of Cure memorabilia, I mean that I have so much that I have actually been uncovering prints and posters that I had no idea I had, or even when/where they came from. So yeah–I could decorate an entire house with just the stuff that I’ve collected since, when, like 1999 I guess.  But right now, I started with these three smaller things: a sketch of Robert from the artist EsQui, the picture of me meeting Robert OMG kill me, and — bear with me — this cute 3D cockatoo art that I bought from some store based in Amsterdam when it came to me late one night (when alllllll the best/stupidest ideas visit me) that I needed something cockatoo-related in that area because if you didn’t know, Like Cockatoos is in my Top 10 favorite songs by the Cure.

Henry was shining his phone’s flashlight at this corner for me while I took pictures because it’s shrouded by a moody pink light up there 24:7 (actually more like 18:7 because we have the light on a timer lol). As soon as it’s OK to have parties again, I’m going to insist that all of my friends take turns sitting here so I can take their pictures. Maybe this could be like a polaroid zone.

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Here’s me: how can I effectively turn my home into a functioning modern art exhibit or at the very least, an Instagram-trendy cafe but without the baristas. This has been my dream for quite some time but ever since Corey, Kara, and I visited this one abandoned house-cum-art installation a few years back, I was like THIS IS FOR ME. More secret passages and fireplace-crawl spaces!

OK, maybe I will consider buying a house sooner rather than later, before my friends are too old and feeble to army-crawl in between walls in order to access the bathroom-slash-movie theater that only plays silent, vintage porn.

I slept on this song for a month but finally listened to it today and loved it but the MV makes it a million times better and I’m obsessed ok.