This afternoon, I went to the Hollywood Theatre for a viewing of the La Dispute documentary “Tiny Dots.” It was nice to have some time alone, in the dark, some time to be still and quiet and just decompress, phone tucked away in my purse. The last few weeks have been exhausting. October in general was so exhausting, it was hard to enjoy it at times.
I had a ticket for the most recent show La Dispute played in Pittsburgh. It was sold out and I was really looking forward to it. And then that ended up being the day that Marcy died. I couldn’t even get out of bed that day, not even for a show. So, I didn’t go. I think that was only the second time in my life that I had a ticket for a show and didn’t use it.
It still hurts, you know? One day last week was National Cat Day and I’m sorry, but I had to stop looking at Facebook and Instagram that day because it was too hard. I didn’t want to see pictures of your cats.
But watching this film kind of inspired me. I left there wanting to write again. I can’t remember when I last wrote something that wasn’t just a blog post or a product description on Etsy. Most days I feel like that ship has sailed, and I don’t feel like swimming after it.
(That song up there, though. My god. Even if you don’t care for this kind of music, you could probably relate to those words. So many of Jordan’s phrases just leave me stunned.)