Two of the deleted entries, combined:
Dear local friends (even if we have never met),
I just got a Holga camera and I’m dying to use it. Who wants to participate in a photoshoot sometime very soon? It’ll be super fun and you can wear animal masks and guacamole if you want.
Let me know.
And now, a riddle:
What is really hot and goes up and down and smells like beef jerky and cabbage?
The guys at work thought this was gay and non-sensical (durr, that’s what they get when they ask me to make one up on the spot). First person to guess it gets a holiday card of their choosing.