We’re on our way home from Long Island after seeing Enhypen’s Walk the Line concert last night. It was FANTASTIC.

Now, I’m not really that much of an ENGENE (that’s their fan name in case you care) but I do know all of their members and 90% of the songs. In fact there was only one song they performed last night that I wasn’t sure if I had heard before. But I sat out last summer’s concert and had big regertz after that. Mostly because when they came back with their song “XO,” I was fully obsessed.

So when they announced this current tour, I bought 2 tickets in the 200s section.

The drive was long and uneventful. We were able to check into our hotel in Linden, NJ on the way so that was nice, but we didn’t hang around very long – long enough to put on the latest Jake Webber video which I sent of picture of to Chooch and he said he was glad he wasn’t there lol:

It was only around 4pm but we left immediately to start the drive to Long Island because GPS reported lots of accidents + rush hour. And we wanted to eat somewhere before the concert too.

The drive was chaotic. I absolutely could not do this myself, and I am secure enough in my GIRL POWER attitude to admit that this is a big reason why I am glad to have a man/driver at my beck and call.

We went to this vegan place called Rockin’ Roots. It was VERY small and two of the four tiny tables were taken.

The whole reason I wanted to go here was because they have vegan sushi but when we got there, the chalkboard menu had everything erased under the SUSHI heading and their printed menu doesn’t mention it at all so that was my sign that they didn’t have any for that I guess. I got the daily special – the Cuban – instead. It was really good but I only ordered a half and was still so hungry after. Not to mention that the lady at the table next to us HAD SUSHI. AND SHE DIDNT EVEN FINISH IT. I figured she must have gotten the last of it and I was pissed.

Also, Henry bumped the table SO HARD that my can of Olipop tumbled over and this was literally a second after I had decided to wait to pop the top. That could have been such a disaster because we were like 90 minutes away from our hotel at that point and I’d have had to go to the concert in Cherry Pop stained shorts. It didn’t happen but I was still so mad at him for being an oaf.

THEN SOME GUY IN AND THE DUDE WORKING BEHIND THE COUNTER TOLD HIM HE COULD MAKE HIM A LOBSTER ROLL!!!!!

I was soooo mad.

Henry was like, “I’ll go up and order one to go!” But at that point I was fully committed to pouting and ruining the day at least for the next hour or so, so I said, “NO JUST FORGET IT!!!”

Then I proceeded to whine incessantly about still being hungry because Leo problems. We ended up stopping at a crappy bakery and got a really crappy cookie. I couldn’t even finish it out of principle and the stubborn need to stay in my diva character.

I was still being a bitch when we arrived at UBS Arena but then I started getting freebies so this pulled me back down to earth. I love getting freebies at kpop concerts!!!

Then after we got in a really long line, some UBS employee came over and was yelling, “Are there any AmEx cardholders here??” And I yelled, “Ooooh!!! Me!!!!” So he gave a handful of us instructions on where to locate the ELITE AmEx entry lol. The line over there was much shorter after all the non-cardholders were weeded out but I’m not sure how much time it actually saved us once doors opened.

While standing there, I got a bracelet and a keychain after I heard the rustling of cellophane behind me – I turned around to see an older lady and her little kid handing them out and I said, “Oooh! Can I have one too?” Being an older fan, you have to speak up for freebies or else most of these people will assume you’re too old to care but yo, I will always be young at heart enough to want to wear friendship bracelets with idols’ names on them. I even got sunnies with “EN” beads glued to it and a rubber duck with the concert date and location written on the bottom! I love stuff like this. Especially SINCE THE CONCERT TSHIRTS WERE ALL SOLD OUT, dafuq???!!! I ended up having to buy a dupe on Etsy today.

My Enhypen glasses lol. I got them from one of the girls with the girl wrapped in the flag in line in front of us, in case you were dying to know. There was a young teen girl also in line in front of us and she kept scrutinizing me, I felt like. She was looking at all my kpop accoutrement dangling from my purse and I really like she was judging me and trying to determine if I was a legit fan.

Answer: I’m a certified and legitimate multi-stan. You’re safe.

Mister Softee sighting!!!

We were in section 208, the middle of row 1. Henry was happy because this meant he could stay seated through the whole thing while enjoying an unobstructed view. I was just happy to be comfortable and take it all in since it was my first experience with ENGENES. They might possibly be the loudest/screechiest fans I have encountered yet. If I close my eyes, I can still hear what sounds like horny seagulls ricocheting in my ears. It was cracking me up because the screaming was at full capacity JUST WHEN ENHYPEN MVs WERE PLAYING before the show started. I was like, “Dang if they’re expending this much energy just on music videos they’ve seen a million times, how will they have anything left for the actual concert?!”

Oh not to worry – they had A LOT left in the tank, lol. I appreciated their unwavering moxie, for sure! I could have done without the teenager behind me legit BELLOWING, “NI-KI!!!” at random intervals. Like girlfriend, he isn’t going to look at you up here. But I get it.

OK I gotta say – I was RULL into this concert. I went in as a casual stan and came out having an existential crisis over who my bias is (it was Jungwon and Sunoo going into this but HEESEUNG GOOD LORD, MY GUY) and then Henry and I spent the car ride home today dissecting everything, putting on our favorite songs for relistens, evaluating their stage presence, etc. I can confidently say that I have NO REGERTZ – NONE after this experience. They held my interest from start to finish.

Sunoo though! He was so adorable all night. Easy to see why fans call him the Happy Virus.

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I super-loved the people around us in our row. There was an older woman to my right, and then Henry had an older couple next to him. Loved that for him. There were two empty seats next to the lady next to me, and around 8:40, these two girls (I really think it was a mom and daughter but it was hard to tell) came running in, plopped down into the seats and immediately TOOK UP SO MUCH SPACE. I was like, “Yo, how do you people lack THAT much noonchi?? LOOK AROUND, GIRLFRIENDS – you’re encroaching upon the personal space of others!” Now, they weren’t directly affecting me that much, I could only see them in my periphery, but I felt so bad for the lady next to me. She was having a great night and these two numb-nuts came, started filming each other lipsynching, USING THE FLASHLIGHT ON THEIR PHONES, and turning the night into a legit photoshoot with their selfie sticks. I get wanting to capture memories, etc and it’s not like I don’t also film snips of songs, but they were being SO PERFORMATIVE. One of them clearly had to be a TikTokker, that’s all I can figure. She was also dressed like the daughter of a corrupt CEO in a K-drama in a weird fitted suit dress. Looked like this:

They were literally the ONLY negative parts of the whole night. Even after the show, they stood there and blocked our row from leaving because they were back to doing another photoshoot until Henry elbowed past them and muttered a gruff, “EXCUSE ME.” I mean, there were like 8 of us trying to get the fuck out of there.

Like I have said before, people enjoy concerts their own way but this was just so incredibly obnoxious. Like, turn your fucking flash off!!!

Anyway!! The highlight for me was when they performed Bite Me, No Doubt, Moonstruck, Pass the Mic (I LOVE this song after seeing them perform it live!) but MOSTLY I was there for XO. I love that fucking song SO MUCH. It really helped distract me when I was mourning last year.

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Overall, I would say that it was well worth the ticket price and excruciating pain of having to get back in the car again after just spending a week driving around Missouri and Iowa (that was poor planning on my part – I already had these tickets on lock before I started planning my birthday trip and didn’t even consider the fact that this was literally DAYS after we returned from that long-haul road trip, oops). It made me appreciate them even more after seeing them in person. I will say that Seventeen and NCT127/NCT Dream really have us spoiled when it comes to the in-between videos (VCRs if you’re a kpop stan), and DEFINITEY onstage banter & encores. It comes off so effortlessly with those groups, and especially with Seventeen – the encores are untouchable, unlike any other concert I’ve ever experienced. So it’s a high bar! But Enhypen, for being a relatively “new” group (only just debuting in 2020), already have such a strong collection of songs and their personalities come through HARD on stage. I’m so excited to see where they go and will happily stan them even harder now!

THIS JUST IN: Henry said out of nowhere that he likes their song “Loose.” I put it on for him and now he’s doing weird car-dancing to it with his arms and it’s making me uncomfy.

ETA: it’s been three days and I had to come back here and say that for just being a “casual” fan, I have not been able to stop thinking about this concert and have spent all weekend bingeing Enhypen content on YouTube. I’m officially an ENGENE and for confident in my bias choice of Jungwon.

Also! I failed to mention that before the show, we stopped at one of the arena bars and the middle-aged woman bartender asked Henry if he was the same guy who was there for the show the night before as well (Enhypen performed two nights at UBS and we were night 2).

“He looked just like you! He was carrying a bag of candy.”

“I wish he was carrying a bag of candy,” I mumbled, fixing my Firestarter eyes upon Henry’s dumb face.

“I just thought it was so cute that he was here with his daughters,” she gushed, and I was quick to inform this broad that Henry was here because he likes Kpop and not because he was a chaperone.

“We like this stuff so much that we got married in Korea,” I said, never letting an opportunity to brag about this pass me by. Hey, I waited 23 years to get married, let me fucking live.

She was like, “Oh wow,” and didn’t really have the same “That’s cool!” reaction that most people do? So, after we walked away, I was like, “I mean, she didn’t think I was your daughter, did she??”

So, that was fun.

My travel journal tells me that after leaving Six Flags that Sunday afternoon, we had our first experience at a coffee chain called SCOOTERS where our drinks were screwed up and Henry had to jump through verbal hoops trying to explain the mishap to the guy at window who kept saying, “Yes” when Henry read back our orders and Henry was like, “No what I’m saying is that these are not that” and it was very awkward but finally he had us pull over and then another guy brought us the correct drinks which were actually very good so no hate to SCOOTERS. Also I like how they tell you to “SCOOT ON AROUND” after you place the order. It’s the little things you guys.

My travel journal also tells me that sometime after this, Chooch yelled to Henry from the backseat, “I’m actually curious how you’re always chewing something. We haven’t even stopped anywhere in a while so what could you possibly be eating?!”

Answer: a hard licorice candy.

Then we stopped at Uranus Fudge which has expanded into much more of a tourist trap since we were last there. Now they have all kinds of photo ops set up, an ice cream shop, a sideshow museum…I certainly don’t remember any of this from 2019, just that the fudge store had TRUMP candy and I was repulsed. As one should be. The only way I would ever buy Trump-themed candy is if he one day chokes on a butterscotch and dies – I’d happily buy a commemorative bag of those sweet saviors.

The lady at the sideshow shop won us over with her charlatan act and we ended up paying $18 (total not each!) to enter the museum which was mostly just a bunch of jars of animals floating in formaldehyde. :(

Left the fudge store unimpressed. I did buy a postcard there for Alyson though because who better to send a postcard to from Uranus?? I have to note that I came prepared this time with a sheet of postcard stamps.

#dorkalert

Couldn’t leave without partaking in this photo op.

We made it to Branson sometime around 6:00 I would say, checked into our hotel (Grandview) which was the same one we stayed at in 2019. It was a decent enough hotel. Very quiet and that’s all I really care about to be honest. I mean, I want it to be clean too! But silence is key.

For being a Sunday in a tourist town, most of the restaurants closed around 7pm so our options were pretty much pizza or GTFO. We found a place called PAPPO’S in downtown Branson and it ended up being such a vibe. This was basically the start of a week of referencing our waiter – TRUMAN. I keep wanting to call him Landon for some reason. He was Blake-ish in that he talked like he was sleepy/high, and he was wearing some great jewelry. Every time he came to our table, I would just stare at his hands because of his accessories.

Truman was very patient while Henry and I hemmed and hawed over our flight choices and had to keep going to the bar to get answers to our questions – they had a QR code that brought up their beer list but it was just the names of the beers and not the types???

My favorite was Monk’s Communion – as soon as Truman reported that it was a Belgian I yelled, “my favorite!” And he said in a very surfer manner, “Let’s do it!” But disclaimer, he said that after EVERYTHING. Chooch jokingly replayed one of the scenes the next day: “Can we have more napkins?”

“Let’s do it!” And then he never brought the napkins.

We were flipping out because after this we kept seeing so many references to Truman. Street names, shopping plaza names, a LAKE. Then I realized, “Oh it’s because Harry S Truman was from Missouri.” LOL. I wonder if Truman’s parents were presidential history buffs??!! Is he distantly related to Harry Truman??? I should have asked this when I left a Google review of PAPPO’S and specifically called out Truman for amplifying our experience to god tier lol. Someone from PAPPO’S replied and said “good job Truman!” MAYBE IT WAS TRUMAN.

Got a stain immediately.

Two downsides: the veggie sandwich I was eyeing couldn’t be done because they didn’t have eggplant anymore. UGH. So I got a regular veggie sandwich. It was ok but a lot smaller than I anticipated which sucked because I had already promised half of it to Chooch in exchange for some of his white pizza which came with chicken and Truman was like “Uhhhh….” but it was Chooch’s fault for not reading the menu!

Food mishaps aside, the pizza was actually good (once the chicken was picked off) – I loved the crust, my sandwich was good – I loved the bread, the beer was REALLY good – I liked all of my picks, and the vibe was on point – mostly because I was obsessed with Truman lol.

I forgot his name the next day though briefly and accidentally called him Sherman, which made me ask Chooch if he remembered our server Sherman from the first time we went to Dollywood and he got really annoyed.

“How could I forget? You bring him up literally every time we visit Bill.”

Lol. True. Sherman really impacted our lives.

After dinner, we walked along this – lake? It was right next to the shopping center where PAPPO’S resides. It was a nice little walk but chooch was pissed because there was a geocache he couldn’t access because some creepy guy was “fishing” where he needed to go.

Since Henry and I had each had a flight of beer, Chooch was our DD. This was one of my favorite moments of the whole trip – Chooch taking us on a frantic joy ride thought Branson at night. Henry was fuming from the backseat while I was flat out cackling in the passenger seat. Chooch is so scary.

I made him take us to Hurts Donut, a small Missouri chain that I had known about from my days of following A Beautiful Mess because I believe it started in their hometown of Springfield.

We took them back to the hotel and sampled some before leaving again. I believe we got:

– glazed old fashioned with chocolate drizzle?

– coconut with coconut cream in the middle

– Tang!!

– a cake donuts with sprinkles and a frosted animal cookie, this was my favorite. It tasted like childhood.

– churro, second fave

– chocolate covered cherry. This was chooch’s and I didn’t try it.

Then we walked up the street to one of the many amusement parks so Chooch could get a +1 on an SBF Visa Spinner (thoosie lingo, nbd). I think I already mentioned this but there was a really pretty hotel at the top of the street called Hotel Victorian and Chooch, who hated our hotel just because the gym sucked, said, “Just a reminder that if we stayed at the Victorian, we wouldn’t have had to walk up this hill.” This was probably the 5th time that Chooch had thrown Henry’s poor hotel picking skills in his face and we had only been in Branson for about 4 hours at that point. Henry was ready to slug him lol. Ok fine I was also contributing to the Victorian narrative lol. I was obsessed with the huge chandelier in the lobby that you could see from the road. The only thing our lobby had was a Dolly’s Stampede ticket counter and a bland front desk clerk who sat there with headphones on all night.

$13 for this stupid credit. They at least sent it around about 15 times though. That’s 14 times too many in opinion.

Then we went back to the not-Victorian, watched some Game Show Network (I liked it better when it showed all old shows, not all of these modern day remakes!!!) and went to bed. We had a LONG day ahead of us, lol ugh.

After being Lookie Lous at the St. Louis Arch last Sunday morning, we continued on to Six Flags in Eureka, Missouri. I think it was about 30 minutes outside of St. Louis, and my first impression was that it seemed kind of beautiful from the road, for being a Six Flags park. It’s nestled right at the base of a fluffy green hill/mountain:

(I snagged this shot from Photos at Six Flags St. Louis | Parkz – Theme Parks, no clue who to credit but it’s not my picture.)

We kept our expectations ultra-low with this park. Six Flags in general is meh – when thoosies say “We had a Six Flags day,” it’s not generally a good thing. Most of the locations lack soul, just tons of ugly asphalt, no heart, massive and unruly lines, employees putting in minimal effort. The DC Comics IP gets really old. Some have outstanding coasters though. This one….well, lol.

My second impression was that the entrance was beautiful! Minus the guy who saddled up as soon as I took this picture, lol.

Before I get into the rides, I want to say that yes, it was unbearably hot on this day too. Like, I was sweating through my shirt an embarrassing amount before we even rode the first ride. However, this did seem to keep the crowds at bay so literally everything we rode was either a complete walk-on or a station wait. We actually spent more time walking through through the empty queues to the station than actually waiting to get on any coaster in the park that day. That being said, this played a HUGE ROLE in my overall thoughts of the day. Because in the end, this day was so memorable to me in the best way and it could have been completely opposite if we were there on a mild-weathered day with huge crowds. Give me the humidity over long lines any day!!

We started off with American Thunder – a woodie that again, I had low expectations for. We got right into the back row while Henry took the front seat and thought he was so cool for that too.

YO this was surprisingly good! Not too rough at all. I saw someone call it “glass smooth” and I would certainly not take it that far but it was definitely enjoyable and I would also say re-rideable too. Jumping ahead here, but we should have just re-ridden it immediately because all of the other coasters in the park got progressively worse and by the end, no one was physically stoked to ride ANYTHING twice, lol!

On the exit path, some girl in bright pink shorts was apparently desperate to get past me but I didn’t notice her until Chooch physically moved me over. She ran past me so fast that I barely registered her. In every park, there is always that one person/group that pops up over and over again and this time, it was Pink Shorts. We saw her cutting the line for the next ride….

I was most excited for Mr Freeze!! It’s kind of iconic because it has a backward launch! There is a Six Flags in Texas that also has one, but they switched it so that the launch is now forward and there have been rumors of this happening to this one too. So, I felt a certain type of urgency to get on this before that happens.

Here’s a POV:

I LOVED this but shoooooo, this took it out of me, pals.

“Did you hear me screaming??” I asked Henry as we exited.

“That’s a stupid question,” he muttered.

I was sopping with sweat at this point, and cold sweat to boot thanks to the fear that Mr Freeze instilled in me. Launches always get me!!

Chooch and I rode a wild mouse-type coaster after this but Henry was like “I’M GOOD” and sat on a bench. He didn’t even take a picture of us though!?

I had no opinion on that coaster – it was hot. It spun. It dropped us back off in the station. I peeled my moist thighs off the seat. The end.

I wanted to take our #carouselfie immediately after this before my hair got too wet (at one point it looked like I had come from the water park, you guys. It was really that bad) but Chooch got side-tracked by Bugs Bunny and then we missed the carousel line cut-off and had to wait for an entire rotation which is actually kind of annoying – who the fuck has time to wait in line for the carousel?? Had to get the shot though.

That sheer kimono thing came in clutch to hide all of my absolutely savage sweat stains.

Interestingly, the carousel was playing some bizarre fight sequence, assuming it was to make us feel like we were in some type of battle? It was jarring! The revolution before ours had regular calliope music playing!

In his dreams, he’s The Boss.

Well guys, this was A W F U L lol. Like, so bad that it was actually a HIGHLIGHT for me because of how fucking hilarious it was. I mean, ALL of us were OOFing and UGHing our way through this nightmarescape and it was a long ass ride too. Now we knew going into this that it was going to be bad – it’s infamous for being rough and shitty. The majority of thoosies have strong opinions on how much they hate it, but there are a small handful of The Boss Apologists out there. I honestly thought that while it was rough, chaotic, potentially hazardous even??, it was also memorable for being these things. It was an EXPERIENCE. Like getting a bad tattoo.

We have ridden less rough coasters that we hated and will never ride again but also have no lasting memory of. This actually felt bonding, like a simulated car crash that we experienced together as a family and survived and can now laugh about it. Does this make sense?? Did The Boss knock some of the remaining sense out of me?? All I can tell you is that while I had immediate bruises forming on my person, I was also laughing so hard that my ribs were hurting (OK, the jackhammering contributed to some of that pain). Honestly though, even Chooch was wheezing. This ride was SO BAD that it was good?? But would I ever ride it again? OK, definitely not that same day but I think I probably would if we ever went back.

Yeah, I said it. Does that make me a Boss Apologist too? Maybe. I’m OK with that.

FUCK why didn’t I buy a Boss shirt?!

(I just said this out loud while Chooch is in the kitchen and he said, “Wow, why are you so obsessed with the Boss?” I mean….)

Apparently, there used to be a helix near the end that was removed – I would have loved to have experienced that!

After that, Chooch and I rode some kids’ coaster which was the only time we had to wait in line. (There was a guy behind me wearing pants and a coat and that is the only thing I remember about this – being so repulsed at his outerwear choices on this sweltering day). That coaster was fine, bland and not memorable though. Then Chooch got to spin some wheel for children, landed on Osage and won a small plastic neon pink horse. We were like “Osage, whatever that means” and then it came up numerous times throughout our Missouri portion of the trip and now we know that Osage is a Native American tribe – knowledge! SEE?? ROAD TRIPS ARE EDUCATIONAL. It helps when you’re stupid and have lots to learn anyway.

I admitted that I didn’t think this Boomerang was the worst one I’ve ridden and Chooch was appalled by this. “REALLY? Because I was thinking it was definitely the worst one I’ve ridden.”

(Also I need to quit using this particular Hipstamatic filter on pictures that feature people because it makes us look like we have skin diseases.)

We still had THREE MORE shitty coasters left:

• another wooden one (Screamin’ Eagle) which was the last one Henry did for the day because that one was also terrible and from here on out, he sent Chooch and me to ride the wooden ones first so we could report back. He just told me last night that he pretty much had a headache for days after riding the Boss lol.
• a fucking Vekoma SLC called Ninja that had a pretty cool entrance – I was going to take a picture of it afterward but the headbanging knocked that thought of my head so I forgot all about it. Here’s someone else’s picture because I also just realized that the Boomerang was the last picture I took anyway lol:

(THIS IS NOT WORTH THE WAIT, NOT EVEN A LITTLE – luckily it was a walk-on for us)

• And last but not least, of course this location has a Batman clone. No notes on that.

All in all, it took us about three hours to get park completion (just the coasters). The longest we waited for anything was the kids coaster – about 10 minutes. I didn’t HATE this park. In fact, I thought it had some charm and in a really masochistic twist, I would actually kind of like to get a night ride on the Boss someday!? Am I crazy? Maybe in the fall so I can wear a padded coat.

Anyway, we opted to cut out of here early and start our drive to Branson so that we could be refreshed for a day at Silver Dollar City on Monday!

Our first amusement park of this summer’s chaotic coaster road trip was Beech Bend in Bowling Green, Kentucky. This is a very small park that probably isn’t on the radar of the general population unless they live in the area, but coaster enthusiasts (those cray-cray thoosies) will go out of their way for it because of the wooden coaster – Kentucky Rumbler.

There are two other small coasters here, and a dark ride, among a collection of your standard carnival-type rides like a Music Express and a Scat 2. We knew this wasn’t going to be a full day park by any means so we were content with rolling up around 3:30PM last Saturday, after driving since 8AM from Pittsburgh ugh, and paying the “evening rate.” PLUS HENRY GOT THE SENIOR DISCOUNT LOLOLOLOLOL. Chooch and I were calling him Our Senior after that. :)

My first impression was – yay, free parking! The parking lot was a large grassy expanse and so much better than your typical asphalt slab.

Second impression was that it reminded me of a much less run-down Camden Park in West Virginia. You got that same rural vibe and glorified carnival-type rides, but they were much better maintained and the park itself had lot of beautiful landscaping and flowers. Also had Waldameer vibes, a little.

Kentucky Rumbler was the entire reason this has been a bucket list park for quite some time. It’s always a crap shoot when it comes to woodies, but I had heard such glowing reviews for this one so I got in line with confidence. My first impression was that the ride had two ride ops who seemed to genuinely want to be there – they were friendly and chatty with the riders!

Also, it was a station wait!

Second impression was that this coaster WAS AWESOME. It surpassed my expectations! All I was hoping for was something that wouldn’t jackhammer me, and this was as smooth as a violent woodie can possibly be, IYKYK. Our first ride was backseat and we were SCREAMING! I kept calling the first drop “the swirl” though, and I am certain that this was bigly getting on Chooch’s last nerve. I was very giddy – imagine being in the car all day and then let loose to ride a wild, bucking bronco of a wooden coaster. Shoooo.

Totally re-rideable too, even for Henry! What a gem tucked away in rural Kentucky, honest to god. And honestly, this set the bar high for the rest of our trip. I was expecting the FIRST COASTER of a weeklong road trip to be this exceptional, but here we are, a week later and I’m still thinking about it longingly and running my fingertips over the Kentucky Rumbler magnet that now adorns my fridge.

We would come back to this side of the park later to get some more rides on it, but first we had to acquire the other two coaster creds in the park…

…and terrorize Chooch with selfie requests.

Not pictured, but this was in line for the SBF Visa Spinning coaster which are a dime a dozen these days, especially at the really small parks like this one, indoor family fun centers, boardwalks, etc. Nothing to write home about.

Oh shit, now that I’m looking at this picture, Chooch and I rode the Starship 4000 later that day and it was my first time riding one of these in A MINUTE. I sincerely think the last time was probably the Butler County Fair?? In fact, I can’t remember ever riding one of these with Chooch, so that was exciting! Until it started whirring and I quickly remembered just how uncomfortable these are, especially considering it was about 10 degrees hotter inside that space prison as it was outside, and I can’t remember it physically hurting my sternum?? Like, I honestly thought something was going to crack inside of me and I was psychically pleading for the fucking cycle to end.

The carousel was right across from the spinning coaster though and I was like, “PUHLEASE can we take the carousel now because I get any sweatier???” I quit using deodorant with aluminum in it because I’m so afraid of cancer here there and everywhere, so I was fucking sweating like a lumberjack through my shirt. It was pathetic. But good god, it was like standing on a frying pan set on the sun that day and would not get any better until halfway into the week.

Anyway, they’re smiling because this was only the first carouselfie of the trip and neither of them had to take the picture. This doesn’t last long LOL.

OK I was already stoked that this place has a dark ride, but this one blew me away!! It was old-school, which I love, BUT it had a lot of extra auditory effects which heightened the experience by a lot and seriously creeped me out in the best way. And not only was the ride experience totally memorable but the ride op – LYNDA LOVE – was so adorable and personable! There was a family that got in line straight from the water park, and the women were unfortunately only wearing coverups over their bathing suits so Lynda had to turn them away because pants are required on all the rides there. There was a bit of a language barrier and Lynda turned to us and said forlornly, “I wish I would speak their language.” We asked Chooch if they were speaking Spanish and, not once looking up from his phone, shrugged and said, “I don’t know, probably.” And Henry said, “Well, couldn’t you tell them what she said?”

“I mean, yeah probably. But I think they got the gyst,” he said in his patented “can’t be bothered” tone. Thanks, Chooch! Always so willing to go the extra mile.

Anyway, I screamed a lot in the haunted house, in case you were wondering. Also, it was air-conditioned in there and felt amazing. Lynda’s parting words to every car was, “Enjoy the a/c!” This was after giving everyone instructions on what to do if the ride breaks down so I guess that happens frequently.

Normally I would have been ALL ABOARD for Scat2 but it was so hot and humid that even now as I think back to this, I want to vomit. Hard pass, Scat2.

The Wild Mouse was the last credit we needed. In line, I instructed Henry and Chooch that we had to sit all three together, no spaces in between any of us, to ensure maximum spinning. I legit said this so many times that I was getting on my own nerves.

There was a single ride ahead of us and I was NO GODDAMIT because I thought for sure the ride op was going to send us all in the same car, but he sent the single ride by himself! Then he came over to me, squinted at my shirt, and yelled, “PIERCE THE VEIL?! WHAT’S THAT, SOME KIND OF ROCK BAND??” I said yes and Chooch was irritated. “I wouldn’t call them ROCK,” he music snobbed as we slid into the car.

Yeah, I know, but the dude was like 70, letting him believe they’re a rock band isn’t hurting anyone!

MEANWHILE!!! Henry the Dissenter didn’t slide all the way in and was about to leave an empty seat between him and Chooch!! Right as the ride op was about to lower the bar, I screamed, “NO!” and made Henry slide over a seat, which made him grumble. The WHOLE WAY up the lift hill, I berated him for not listening to me re: seat assignments.

“I was listening! I just forgot!”

“FROM 2 MINUTES AGO???” I screamed around Chooch, who was willing himself to astral project back to Philly.

Yo, thank god Henry had enough time to swap seats because that was an INSANE Wild Mouse lap. I mean, we were spinning extra on the course but when we got to the brake run, we sat there for a good minute spinning like the Spaceship 4000 – I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t catch my breath and was near tears.

When the ride op finally brought us back to the station, he was laughing too. “THAT’S why she wanted you to move seats!” he said to Henry, who just frowned in response. ;)

“Do you want to ride that?” I joked to Chooch.

“The AMBULANCE?” Chooch cried. I mean, I was gesturing to the little kids truck ride under that pavilion, but wow, get dark with it, Chooch.

There was big, dreary warehouse-type structure with “games” and a snack bar, and also “party rooms.” It was pretty bleak in there so I think Beech Bend should work on make that area more festive and less “this is where Farmer Beechbend used to store the feed and hoes.” I used the bathroom in there – it was two stalls, super tiny and HOT – and a mom was in the stall next to me struggling to get her kid to take a shit. This was the second time that day that I had an unnerving public restroom experience with a mom and her unruly child.

Meanwhile, Henry bought himself a soft pretzel and Chooch and I ate most of it. :)

I really thought that said “Cabananas 1 -19” and “Cannabis 1 – 5”.

Did you know that I can’t ride pirate ships anymore as an adult? I can ride the most extreme coasters and spinny shit, but pirate ships will knock me out. It’s the rocking motion – side to side or front to back, it makes me nauseous. :(

We did not ride this janky backyard log flume and I lowkey regret it even though we saw one of the logs get stuck at the top of the tallest drop, lol.

We spent the last part of our day lapping Kentucky Rumbler. Station wait every single time – could have been a walk-on even if we weren’t such bitches for the backseat.

Ew, on the way out, we stopped to watch some game that was being played on this stage and I DID NOT APPRECIATE THE WAY THIS BABY WAS LOOKING AT ME.

Chooch said that it looked like his friend’s brother Roman, but I thought he said, “That baby looks like it’s broken” and I screamed OMG IT DOES.

Delightful swings!

Anyway, the park closed at 7 (ON A SATURDAY? IN JULY?!) but we managed to do all we needed to do in about 2 hours – plus, we were overheated and STARVED. I would definitely stop back here if we’re ever out that way though because Kentucky Rumbler is just THAT good.

Needed a break from the chaotic coaster road trip recapping – it really hit me today just how tired I am. And old. Lol. It’s going to take a bit to get all of this documented!

But here is a collection of the magnets I accumulated over the past week! Kind of regret not getting a new one from Silver Dollar City though now that I see which one I already have on the fridge (it’s mid).

I’ve been trying to get Chooch and Henry to tell me their favorite moments and of course it’s like prying a femur out of Jeffrey Dahmer’s mouth. Mine is how our waiter at a pizza place in Branson because a household name for the rest of the trip, and actually the WORST coaster of the whole trip -The Boss-because it was so bad that it was actually hilarious. I also loved stopping at The Arch in St Louis and walking around Des Moines during a late night lightning storm.

I still maintain that the best road trip we’ve done is the Florida Spring Break 2022 ambitious coaster credit collecting.

LOL Henry just tried to say his highlight was “being close” to me the whole time which is a joke. Now he’s thinking of a real answer. There’s smoke in the house.

“It wasn’t Six Flags,” he scoffed. (I actually thoroughly enjoyed our time there lol.)

“Driving sucked so that’s not a highlight,” he murmured. Wow, he’s really thinking.

Final answer: “I don’t know.”

Cool! Cool cool cool.

When researching this trip (and to be frank, not as much effort was put into this as I usually would have), there was one BIG NON-NEGOTIABLE, NON-COASTER tourist attraction that I found and refused to forget: The Shrine of the Grotto of the Redemption in West Bend, Iowa.

Henry was big annoyed about this, but we managed to fit it in on Thursday, on the way to Lost Island Theme Park in Waterloo. Chooch, having paid attention to absolutely nothing aside from “Erin’s birthday trip” had no clue what was going on so when we parked, he looked out the window and incredulously cried, “What the hell is THIS???” And to be clear, his tone was incredulous in a disgruntled and put-out tone, and not even remotely awestruck.

What is this place, one might ask? To summarize with the help of Wiki because I have had half of a beer and can barely type:

The Shrine of the Grotto of the Redemption is a religious shrine in West Bend, Iowa, in the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sioux City. A conglomeration of nine grottos depicting scenes in the life of Jesus, it contains a large collection of minerals and petrifications and is believed to be the largest grotto in the world.

It is also “considered to be the world’s most complete man-made collection of minerals, fossils, shells, and petrifications in one place.” The estimated value of the rocks and minerals which make up the Grotto is over $4,308,000. Over 100,000 people visit each year.

It includes a museum with precious and semiprecious stones from throughout the world, and photos and artifacts about the construction of the shrine.

I did learn on my own that this was originally constructed in Wisconsin and eventually moved to West Bend, Iowa.

I am not religious but I will honestly go out of my way to gawk at religious tourist attractions and cathedrals. I love me some cathedrals, especially in Europe.

I tried sharing with Chooch that I enjoyed a small window of “rock collector” status when I was in elementary school but he gave no fucks. It’s true though – there was some science-y nerd hut in Century III Mall near the pet store and I was obsessed with it. My grandma actually let me pick out a rock collection starter set once and I thought I was a geologist at that point, like show me the way to the next quarry, I’ll be there as soon as I ask my mom to drive me.

My collection didn’t go very far, and I kept fucking with some of the more fragile ones so much that they started to flake apart. And aside from purchasing some pyrite and other basic backyard rocks from the Laurel Caverns gift shop, I eventually moved on to other collections. Like collector spoons and brochures from rest stops and hotel lobbies, crippling insecurities, and hitchhikers, and eventually antique wheelchairs. My life has been so full.

Of crap.

Chooch got a call related to campus housing for the fall (he’s staying in some swanky suite with three friends and that’s going to be fun paying for that now too) so he disappeared for a while. How is he an adult now, I hate it.

(And adult in Minions Crocs, mind you.)

I kept demanding pictures of myself because I was so stoked to be here, lol.

This is smack in the center of a small neighborhood. Imagine having this majestic rock palace outside of your house. You could take your lunch break inside one of the caves, chilling next to a shark skull and Baby Jesus while noshing on a PB&J.

I did catch Chooch taking some pictures so guess he thought it was interesting there after all!

This particularly reminded me of Fruity Pebbles and melted Crayon art. Obsessed.

That pop of green!

There were even shells and creepy skeletons and bones from the sea.

Can you believe that Henry CLEANED THE LENS and  took another picture of this one because of the “glare”??? I  was like, “Um excuse me, what glare? That’s the fucking SEARCH LIGHT FROM HEAVEN singling me out, motherfucker.”

Originally, it was going to be nighttime when we stopped here (it’s always open to the public) and I think it would have been so majestic and ethereal at night so I’m kind of bummed that Henry switched things up. (He’s so good at that, why do I bother with an itinerary.)

LOL Chooch, always on Troll Patrol.

It was so nice that it wasn’t 100 degrees this day so I was able to have my picture taken without looking like a glazed ham beneath a frizzy coif. This was the first day of the whole trip that I actually blew dry and straightened my hair knowing it wouldn’t immediately soak up the humidity and revolt.

The gift shop was pretty mid. It was mostly actual religious gifts and rosaries, etc. and less souvenir-leaning. I got a really blah magnet BUT also a matchbook which looks like it was made in the 70s. I was really looking for a commemorative plate because the museum had a whole collection of those in a case and I was hoping that maybe they had a current design, but I GUESS NOT.

LOOK AT THIS CEILING!!!

Obsessed, you guys. Obsessed. In my opinion, definitely worth a stop if you’re even remotely in the area. It’s free but they accept donations, so we did donate + we made a gift shop purchase. They offer free guided tours as well and one was just starting while we were there, but we just didn’t have enough time since we needed to drive an additional 2.5 hours to the next stop after this.

Plans shifted and instead of going to Green Bay today, we decided instead to change the route and go to Indiana Beach in Indiana. This put us closer to home and there are two “new” coasters there since we last visited (2022 I think?). These pictures are from somewhere in Indiana after we left the park.

Full recap another day, but I will say that I made it all week until today before my period started and I had awful cramps the whole time we were at Indiana Beach. I’m so glad it happened today though and not on one of the super hot days, especially not the Silver Dollar City day because that day was already slightly miserable and ugh, if I had crippling cramps on top of that??!! We probably would have started our return trip home that day, tbh.

We left Indiana Beach around 5:00 and Henry found maybe the WORST restaurant in the area for us to have dinner before starting the drive home. It was called HARVEST TIME and if the FISHY FRIED GREASE stench in the parking lot wasn’t enough to deter us, the non-HEINZ ketchup bottle on the table should have been the last straw.

Chooch and I both got a grilled cheese with tomato and fries. I got mine on rye bread and I suppose that’s what was served to me because it looked slightly different than Chooch’s but tasted like no rye I have ever known. And you know it’s bad when Chooch agrees with me on anything but we both hated our food. I have never had such dry grilled cheese!! It was like they toasted the bread in a toaster and laid the cheese on it afterward – sooo dry and not even partially melted. Not even a CORNER of the cheese was soft.

And the fries were dry with no taste. Bad coffee too.

I was really mad about this and declared that Henry is banned from choosing restaurants from now on.

(I should note that this travesty occurred because MR HAPPY BURGER IS PERMANENTLY CLOSED AS OF LAST YEAR – I could fucking cry  I’m so glad I have that French fry wrapper framed!!!!)

Anyway, it’s 10:17pm and we’re just now passing Columbus. I can’t wait to go home and see Penelope. <3

We spent my birthday evening at Arnold’s Park on Lake Okoboj, as previously reported. I bought this magnet and the old white man I purchased it from held it up to his face, squinted, and said, “This is missing something. Ahh! It’s missing TRUMP sitting there!”

Pal, only if he was buried head first in the sand would I want that. Gimme my fucking magnet.

We had just been observing that day too how nice it was that we weren’t bombarded with TRUMP paraphernalia throughout Iowa like we had been in Missouri. Not even a single Trump yard sign or billboard – it was so cleansing on the eyeballs.

And then that happened. I actually wasn’t even sure if that was what he said initially because I had let my guard down the whole time we were in Iowa. Branson? Would not have been fazed. But I was very taken aback and actually wish I had walked out without the magnet but I already paid for the fucking thing. Of course, this morning we went back to the Okoboji Welcome Center and I found a much better magnet so maybe I’ll “write a picture” of an expired Trump on this one, cankles jutting out of the sand.

Today is my birthday and out of everything that happened today, here is my absolute favorite:

At Arnold’s Park earlier tonight, we were sitting down at a table, eating. Chooch had cheese fries and Henry and I both had small personal pan pizzas, in a box. I was bitching because no one brought over napkins so Henry got up to fetch some, obedient dog he is. Literally AS SOON as he walked away, Chooch swept his arm out and accidentally knocked over Henry’s TALL cup of Diet Coke, which had NO LID.

Coke flooded all into his pizza box, completely drenching his slices – and mind you this was AFTER Chooch helped himself to one and Henry hadn’t had ANY yet. I was initially mad because I thought it got on my shoes (they’re new Vans!!) but once I realized it was fine, I started cracking up and then Chooch started cracking up and then Henry came back to the table, saw what happened, and was…decidedly NOT cracking up lol. Chooch goes, “I’m sorry. But it’s your fault for not putting the lid on! Here, I’ll eat the one they got the most Coke on it” so now Henry was left with only two slices of pizza and nothing to drink.

LOL

Flash forward to about three hours later. We’re at our hotel (Okoboji Inn) and there is drama because our room is a king with a sofa bed. Chooch is too big for the sofa bed so the nice woman at the front desk brought up a roll-away bed for him.

Of course, this one was also problematic for our little Princess and the Pea. He was jostling all around on it, squeaking the springs and bitching up a storm.

“I’d rather just sleep on the floor at this point!” he cried, so Henry suggested that he move the mattress to the sofa bed since it was the bed frame that was causing his discomfort. Henry of course had to set down the can of beer he treated himself to at the gas station after we left Arnold’s Park and help him because Chooch is my son and we contribute the bare minimum to these things. In the process of this hectic maneuvering, Henry turned around and yelled, “Aw goddammit my beer spilled!”

I honestly almost peed my pants, and then Chooch was cracking up too which made me laugh harder, back and forth. We feed off each other’s giddiness!

“You have literally spilled everything I had today!” Henry cried from the bathroom, like calm down bro let’s not be hyperbolic here.

I guess when you have had 46 birthdays, dumb things like this become highlights.

ETA: I was just reliving this moment with Chooch and he said, “His beer didn’t just accidentally spill. It spilled because I threw a pillow at him.” EVEN BETTER.

Hello from a new-to-us state! I don’t know why but going to Iowa was one of the  things I was most excited about when planning this trip. Just because, why Iowa, you know? Like, who goes to Iowa for vacation. But it just so happens that there are some cool amusement parks here!

Anyway, we spent most of the day at World of Fun in Kansas City, Missouri after checking out the NOT-Victorian in Branson. It was another hotter than Hell day. 95 degrees I think but the “feels like” was 108. It felt every bit that hot too.

We left there around 5:30, (they closed at 7:00 but we had already done everything we needed to do, plus get re-rides our faves) and stopped at ZOMBIE BURGER in Des Moines. We made it there around 8:15 and I’ll be so for real here, it wasn’t all that – just a gimmicky place capitalizing off of horror by decorating with zombie art and naming the food after horror movies. But I buy into that shit, PLUS they had a veg section. I had homed in the Negan burger, which was the Zombie Burger’s own veggie nut burger and that sounded fantastic plus, NEGAN.

“I hope they actually have it, or I’ll cry,” I said, because, tragically, “Sorry, we don’t have that anymore” follows me from restaurant to restaurant.

“HOW?” Chooch dead-panned. “Do you even have anything left? You’ve been crying all day.”

Wow. He is such a good son. The best boy.

Anyway, YES THEY DID HAVE IT.

Henry got a beer and I had some sips. It was a WarPigs Foggy Geezer IPA. I created a monster with him and IPAs. Bro, branch out a little.

The Negan! It was good – my favorite part was actually the bun. It was very soft and fluffy and I enjoyed it very much, thank you for asking, omg you’re too kind but no I don’t think I’ll be starting a bun-reviewing periodical at this time.

Bathroom graffiti.

Decor was really on point.

Oddly, a baseball game was on the TVs at the bar – if I’m going to a zombie-themed eatery, I’m expecting zombie classics playing on a loop. But cook on with your baseball game, I guess.

Afterwards, I didn’t want to immediately go to the hotel. We’ve  never been in Des Moines before and I wanted to see some of it! Henry signed and drove toward the river at my command. There was parking along the bridge! So we did that and Henry thought I was just going to get out and take a quick picture but turned into, “Let’s just walk to the edge of the bridge and back” which then bled into, “I want to just walk a block down there and get a picture of that sign.”

“The TRAVELERS SIGN?” Chooch scoffed in a who cares tone.

“Yeah, I like it,” I shouted back. LET. ME. LIVE.

We saw whatever the fuck this is on the way, and the CASEYS CENTER – a venue named after Henry’s new favorite gas station that he has stopped at a hundred times on this trip so far. Also, there was a baseball stadium with a game happening and Chooch found out it was their minor league team, Cubs. I wanted it to be the Cornstalks.

Come on, it was a cool sign!

I didn’t look to see what this is, I assume an art museum or something.

After walking back on the other side of the bridge, I determined I was satisfied and that we could go. But then I saw what HAD to have been the Capitol Building peeking out in the distance. I SCREAMED when Henry got onto the highway because I thought he understood by my cries of childlike wonder that I wanted to get CLOSER to the Capitol. So, he muttered under his breath and veered off onto a ramp back into the downtown area. Yayayayayayay!

Oh, and I should mention that there was a wicked lightning storm happening, which got way worse and has since turned into a storm-storm as I sit here in the hotel writing this.

I just really thought this was so beautiful and am so happy that we got to see it at night!

This is the Iowa Soldiers and Sailors Monument a/k/a “Iowa’s Most Scandalous Statue”:

LOL – this is on Roadside America so I was stoked to get to mark another idiotic thing as “been there.”

So, that part of the night was very nice – I like when we get a chance to actually see parts of the cities we visit for roller coasters, especially because I can’t foresee any other reason that would have brought me there. And from what I saw, Des Moines is beautiful!

Then the night took a turn when we drive the 15 minutes to Altoona Iowa to check into our hotel, which ended up being a Best Western directly across from Adventureland with a ton of truckers parked in the lot and the area was just bad vibes all around. When Chooch and I  were waiting for the elevator, one of the aforementioned truckers  walked past and mumbled, “Welcome to the shit hole” to us. WTF.

Then we got to our floor and some weird child-thing came slithering out of its room at the same time as someone from the floor above took off running back and forth and then as soon as we opened the door to our room, there was maniacal pounding from the room above.

“Nope,” I said and walked right on out. Henry was in the hallway at this point and I said, “I’m not staying here,” as I walked past him to the elevator. Just felt it in my gut. The trucker’s ominous non-greeting, the stampeding, the blah room. I couldn’t do it. Not on the eve of my birthday. This of course resulted in a big argument in the car, but now we are ready for bed in a nice, clean, reputable Hilton:

Sory. But sometimes I need to be fucking spoiled, and I don’t care. I wasn’t sleeping in that other place. And for as much as we harped on Henry over the Branson hotel, that one was clean and quiet at least. No frills at all but we slept well and it legit felt like we were the only ones there. Not a peep from the other rooms.

I don’t know what the plan is for tomorrow. The weather looks iffy – storms and rain. Not sure if the park will even be open. If it’s still lightning the way it is tonight, I don’t know what we will end up doing. :/

Shit, son, am I getting too old for this or what? We’re only on Day 3 and I am so depleted lol. Granted it’s been 95 degrees every day and we have been at amusement parks aka pavement tundras. Today was Silver Dollar City and it was a long ass motherfucking day. Mostly good but there were some low lights as to be expected with long and humid days navigating crowds (actually wasn’t crowded though) and hunger. A ton of memorable moments though that will probably become long-lasting inside jokes of course – I laughed so hard at one point that it felt like I damaged something internally.

One of the last things we did before calling it a night was have Chooch take pictures of us in front of VICTOR THE BULL, downtown Branson.

You’re welcome ;)

Bonus: here’s a picture before we went to SDC, from a “scenic outlook” which was anything but?!

Random jean skirt?!

Meanwhile, we were joking that even at the scenic overview, there was a huge billboard for Dolly Parton’s Stampede. It is legit everywhere you look around here.

Even the elevator door at our dumb hotel that chooch and I hate but Henry loves. We’re annoyed because there is a really beautiful hotel called HOTEL VICTORIAN at the top of the hill but Henry was too cheap to let us stay there. So Chooch’s response to everything is, “I bet THE VICTORIAN has [insert something our hotel doesn’t have].”

Last night, we walked up the road to get to the main drag so Chooch could get some stupid +1 coaster cred at one of the many family fun zones here. It’s a pretty steep grade and Chooch huffed, “We wouldn’t have to walk up a hill if we stayed at the VICTORIAN.”

Then this morning, he said, “I’m opening the window so everyone at the VICTORIAN can look down on us.”

Dude you guys were fucking delirious at this point, lol.

We just stopped at the Arch on our way to Six Flags – the first time I saw it IRL was at night when we drove past it en route to Silver Dollar City. Even then it was horrifying to me. Being up close at its base was even scarier!

Please enjoy these pictures. We didn’t do the tour because we don’t have enough time but being there was enough for me, tbh!

9:17am: we’re almost to Ohio, just stopped at Sheetz in WV for breakfast foods and Henry is mad because I always get a fruit cup and then pick around the fruit I don’t like and try to pass it onto him while he’s driving because I can never get the lid back on and he screamed IF WE END UP IN THE HOSPITAL ONE DAY ITS GOING TO BE BECAUSE OF THIS!!! and angrily shook the fruit cup then passed it off to Chooch in the backseat. “You do this! I can’t do this while driving 70mph!” And then Chooch was crying about “why can’t she do it??!!” Meanwhile I was laughing so hard I almost choked.

Then Chooch was bitching about Henry leaving trash (specifically candy wrappers) in the side of car door. Then Henry turned around and put his breakfast trash in the empty Sheetz bag next to Chooch, which made Chooch deadpan, “wow. I’m surprised you didn’t shove that into the car door. Muscle memory” and I lost it.

You guys, these road trips are chaos but I freaking treasure them lol.

Oh also we were listening to the Kpop Demon Hunter soundtrack and I burst into tears. “This song makes me cry,” I shakily laughed, dabbing my eyes with a napkin lol ugh.

9:42am: I’m mad that Henry doesn’t have a military ID thing because he could be getting mad discounts at parks but he is now mansplaining this to me. He legit just said “I’m pretty sure they took that from me when I left” and I said, “I believe the word is CONFISCATED. They CONFISCATED your ID because you went AWOL and had a dishonorable discharge.”

He’s done talking about this now, suddenly.

Chooch, telling me, “you’re so annoying! You’re actually so annoying!”

Oh yeah I forgot he was also bitching as soon as we left this morning because I always have to get a full birthday week when everyone else gets a day. Well, when you’re forced to take birthday matters into your own hands because no one else cares, you too can drag it out for a week. More if you want! Go hog wild, honey bear.

11:02am: LETS JUST STOP, DROP EVERYTHING because Henry just admitted that the classic 2005 Chiodos track “Baby, You Wouldn’t Last a Minute on the Creek” is ICONIC.

12:46pm: KENTUCKY!

1:05pm: I just had the most satisfying pee of my life at a rest stop after chugging a liter of water. Ahhh. Henry and Chooch were grateful for this update so I thought you might also appreciate it, Blog.

1:41pm: Just left Love’s and Henry is being a big bitch baby because we apparently “rushed” him out so he didn’t get any food for himself and is being a huge martyr about it like look at Henry, willing to STARVE in order to get his family to the amusement park faster. Get over yourself! It’s not like I’m dining on a lavish lunch – I got a protein bar and a Cracker Barrel cheese and cracker thing. Thanks, Loves.

Also I wanted everyone in that place to get the fuck away from me. Welcome to Kentucky.

Lol Henry gets to buy the old person ticket at Beech Bend, love this for him.

3:02om: Just left RaceTrac whatever that is where Chooch made Henry buy an air freshener for the car so now there is strong stench of vanilla wafting through this bitch.

Anyway, obligatory bathroom selfie:

And an extravagant froyo section:

3:17pm: Lots of bickering later, we made it to Bowling Green! 12 minutes to Beech Bend Park from here.

3:52pm We’re in line for our second coaster! Will probably do a full recap tomorrow but here’s us!

I highkey love it here already.

6:15pm: Just left! They close at 7 but we got to do everything we wanted. I forgot that we’re in Central time so we actually got here at 3:30. We didn’t fight at all! It was delightful and I will definitely be posting about it separately probably tomorrow.

The downside is that it’s about 90 degrees and blazing sun – there was very little shade there.

We’re at Farm Boy in Morgantown KY after pulling into the lot of KUNTRY KITCHEN and leaving bc it looked sketch but now I wish we had stayed because this place is creepy but at least our waitress is super nice. We tried to order breakfast though and she got the ALAMO TOUR GUIDE tone real quick when she said they stop serving breakfast after 11 on weekends.

Chooch and I had to order grilled cheese from the kids and senior menu.

7:11pm: Chooch literally has no idea what parks we’re going to and just realized we’re going to be gone for a week and probably didn’t pack enough. He’s so annoyed lol.

Also the waitress seemed like she was trying to suppress her “taken aback-ness” at my request for tomato on my grilled cheese. Is that not common in Kentucky?!

7:28pm: Ugh one of the reasons we left KUNTry Kitchen was because some creepy old guy was slithering through the parking lot and I said, “oh hell no I don’t want to eat with that guy” and Chooch was like, “you’re so judgmental” but seriously ugh.

Then Henry just started laughing and I was like WHAT and he was like “look at who is sitting over my the door” and ITS HIM ugh. Chooch was cracking up – he has actually sort of letting himself laugh these days lol.

7:36pm:

Omg now he’s sitting outside talking to himself lol.

8:27pm: Some bridge over the Ohio River, now we’re in Indiana I guess.

Ugh:

Indiana Michigan Power apparently.

10:25pm: In bed at whatever Super 8 this is in Evansville IL apparently. I don’t understand geography so I don’t know how Illinois factors in.

The lady at the front desk told me she liked my shirt and turns out she likes Pierce the Veil. “I like my music angry so I don’t have to be” so said and then just kept going with the bit and it was starting to get unhinged.

Then the key didn’t work while Henry was out in the car so I thought he gave me the wrong room # and I kept calling him repeatedly and the dumb fuck wouldn’t answer so then Chooch and I just stood in the hallway listening to the screechy sounds of our temporary neighbors and I am not happy right now.

(Yes it was the right room and miraculously the key worked as soon as Henry got off the elevator and joined us. Ugh.)

Good night!!!

The best part about going to a concert for a group that isn’t one of my ults is that I only feel pure excitement. I don’t know what it is about seeing groups like NCT Dream and GOD FORBID G-DRAGON but I get so sick to my stomach from the stress of it all!

With Stray Kids, I like them A LOT to where I know all of their names, some of the lore, pretty much all of the songs. But I don’t hard stan them. I’m not sure why this is but Henry and I don’t really watch much of their content which is actually a damn shame, and we should correct this soonly. We saw them back in 2022 on their Maniac tour but that was on a whim after I checked Ticketmaster a good while after the tickets went on sale and saw that there were some decent seats still available for NORMAL PRICES. I will never forget this day because for some reason, Henry had to drive his WORK VAN to Erie for some work-related thing – he was making a delivery of Everfresh or something? – and he asked if I wanted to ride up with him just to get out of the house. Much to his chagrin, this turned into me saying, “I have FOMO about not getting Stray Kids tickets” as one of their songs played on Spotify, and then seeing that ticket prices were reasonable, and ending with Henry saying, “UGH WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, ERIN.”

YAY!

I’m actually ended up wearing the same shirt I wore to that concert. I had brought my Maniac tour shirt with me on this trip, but AFTER I PUT IT ON THAT AFTERNOON I NOTICED IT HAD COFFEE STAINS ON IT!!! Henry tried to get them out with a Tide stick I miraculously had in my travel bag (I definitely didn’t buy that, had to have been Henry’s forethought), but it only made it worse. I was rull upset about this for a few minutes but then shrugged it off because who cares. I’m 45.

We drove to the Pioneer Village subway station, which has a large parking lot. The Rogers Stadium, which has just been built and Stray Kids is the christening event, is apparently only going to be in use for 5 years??? I don’t fully understand what is happening here and also don’t care enough to do further research, but this is what Henry told me. It was built on an old runway near the airport, with a subway station about a 10 minute walk away and little to no parking from what I gleaned after reading all of the complaints, uproar and panic. Lol.

I can see where this would be super inconvenient, but for people who traveled to Toronto specifically for this and weren’t planning on driving anyway if we could avoid it, this was perfectly fine for us. It was a quick subway ride fill of other Stays. There were three middle school-aged Stays who looked at me in wide-eyed wonder when they saw that I was wearing a SKZ shirt and probably also going to the concert – actually, I felt like they were making fun of me but Henry said they weren’t, so we’ll go with what Henry said for once.

Yo, the lines were staggering! Everyone spilled out of the subway station and while some people milled about, most of us immediately got into a line. There was one that was very long, and then several others that were shorter and seemed to be moving faster so we crossed our fingers and got into one of those ones. There was legit no signage or instructions anywhere. We did determine eventually that a second super long, barely moving line was for a merch booth that was set up outside of the gates. I was like, “Surely there are more inside though??” I just wanted to get in so we skipped that shit.

For as daunting as the line seemed (you can see it snaking it well beyond that YZD sign up there) it actually moved pretty steadily. It wasn’t so bad either because people were handing out freebies and I am so much better at holding my handout in these situations now, even going so far as to follow someone for a freebie. I always use the self-deprecating line of, “I’m old so everyone always skips over me, HAHAHAHA” so cringey. Chooch would hate to hear that.

Han is my bias <3

I refused to wear black. It was only about 80 that day but with nary a cloud in the sky so that sun was straight BAKING us like STAY bread.

I’d say within 20 minutes, we had made it to the stadium! You can see to the right on the other side of the fence is the MERCH LINE.

We sailed right through the gates and got our FLOOR wristband, no issues!

I wasn’t expecting this but the ground of the stadium are pretty big, with some grassy areas too, so people were free to mill about, drink, eat, ride a ferris wheel, rather than wait in a line for the actual “doors” to open. We spent most of our time in the merch line which was a cluster. There was one very long line, and then three much shorter lines. We got into the long line because it was the closest one to the entrance where we came in, but immediately clocked the shorter lines. There was a mom and her 20’ish year old daughter in front of us who said someone else in our line had gone up to investigate and reported back that the other lines were for food.

Henry cried bullshit on this because here is what it looked like – I’m doing this at work with low energy so please excuse the artistic crudeness:

The booth was split up into four long windows, each had at least 3-4 people working. Pretend the first line has about 200 people in it lol because it legit probably did – it was so long that a staff member had to come over and make it turn so that it wasn’t impeding the general walk area. The other three lines probably had about 50 each. Henry was like I AM GOING TO GET IN ANOTHER LINE, JUST STAY THERE.

Kpop Dad has no time for this kind of bullshit. He hates it when people can’t understand that there is more than one line. He must have gotten yelled at for not lining up properly in the SERVICE and now he’s extremely triggered.

Meanwhile, I had struck up a nice conversation with the mom in front of me. She was so cute! This was her first Kpop concert – she traveled to Toronto with her daughter for it and I didn’t quiet catch where they had come from but I think it was somewhere else in Canada because they were referencing Canadian things to me like I should know and helped me pronounce Mississauga, which is the city we were staying at outside of Toronto. She asked me if we took the GO Train there and I said, “……yes?”

Henry told me later that NO, we did NOT. The GO Train is not the same as the subway, which I forget what the call there, lol. I tried! This is what happens when Henry leaves me alone to field adult questions! I sink.

Anyway, the mom was so cute, as previously mentioned, with her bedazzled Bang Chan jersey. “I got this on Amazon and jazzed it up!” she said, after we marveled over how creative some of the concert outfits were. She said she had primarily come there to accompany her daughter and I told her I was there for me, lol. I felt super comfortable talking to her and before I knew it, I was telling her all about how we got married in Korea last year.

Meanwhile, Henry was giving me a play-by-play from his line so I told my new friend that he was up there scoping it out. Eventually, he told me that it was definitely moving faster than my line and to come up. “Tell him you made new friends and ask him if we can come too!” the mom laughed, but I was already doing that exact thing! In the end, the mom said she would stay in our OG line, and her daughter would join me and Henry. There were only like 10 people ahead of Henry as opposed to the 100 still ahead of us in our line! Eventually, Henry was like, “I’m going to get a beer.”

“I dismissed him,” I said to the daughter, whose name I finally learned was Chloe and her mom was Holly. “He did the Lord’s work!”

I thought it would be awkward, standing in line with my fake daughter, but she was so sweet and easy to chat with! We basically just talked about kpop in general and she was genuinely interested in my origin story, which was crazy because it seems like just yesterday when I was at my first KCON in 2017 and felt like such a n00b. I guess I’m finally legit now!

We truly couldn’t understand why the lines were moving so slow because there were at least 4 people working in each section of the merch booth, as previously noted in my shitty Snag-It drawing. I knew exactly what I wanted, so when Chloe insisted that I go ahead of her as a thank you for saving her from the long-ass OG line, it took me less than 30 seconds to tell the super personable guy what shirt and size I wanted and tap my card. Bam, done.

I wished Chloe the best time and then wandered off to find Henry. Of course, I had remorse that I didn’t ask to connect with her on IG at the very least but would that have been weird since I was basically her mom’s age??? Oh well. Forever alone, lol.

I found Henry, stole his beer, and sent him off to get me a grilled cheese from a truck called CHEEZHEADZ. Ofc after he already ordered, he told me that the tater tot truck next to it had “TOTBOKKI.” AND A BIBIMBAP TACO. UGH.

Whatever, it was nice chilling on this grassy knoll, watching girls film SKZ dance challenges, zone out to the ferris wheel, and just genuinely bask in the beautiful day and fucking good vibes, man. It felt like Riot Fest, or Warped Tour. I’d say even Coachella but  my experience there was so miserable and this was not that.

I got two Han and one Hyunjin bracelets <3

OK,  this grilled cheese took forever but it was VERY classic-tasting, familiar, comforting. Nothing crazy added to it. And the fries were MY STYLE. THE GOOD KINDS! Ask Henry and he will tell you that after 24 years, he still can’t tell what that means.

By this time, it was about 6:45 so we decided to enter the stadium! PART 2 COMING SOON.

I was so excited when I woke up on Sunday! OK, I was probably still being a Sunday Morning Brat, because that’s my m.o., but internally I was freaking out about seeing Stray Kids that night! We planned on getting to the venue around 4ish, because everything we had read had made it sound like this was going to be a logistical nightmare as far as transportation / parking goes because they built this brand new, state of the art venue WITH NO PARKING. More on that later!

To start the day, we stopped at Coffee Culture Cafe near our hotel (I can’t remember if I mentioned but we stayed at some Hilton in Mississauga) and ofc Henry had to be soooo embarrassing. I ordered first and asked if they had almond milk.

“No, just oat milk right now, sorry,” the barista said, and actually looked like she was sorry too, good ol’ Canada.

Then Henry ordered an iced coffee.

“Do you have almond milk?” he asked, and the barista and I made darting eye contact before she slowly repeated, “No, just oat milk right now, sorry.”

I SERIOUSLY WAS SO DISGUSTED. I glared at him and said, “She literally just told us that,” while he mumbled some lame excuse of not knowing why he asked that. Mmmmm!!!!!

Then he asked some other stoop question and this girl, I gotta give her credit. She was so patient with his frustrating ass!!

When we sat down, I hissed, “You make everything so embarrassing and awkward!! People probably think we’re aliens from another planet, ordering THAT HOT BROWN FLUID, MEEP MEEP, PUT IT IN VESSEL WITH FROZEN WATER SQUARES, BLOOP BLOOP for the first time.”

I went with the fresh fruit bowl and it was a good choice. Filling, nutritious, took a long time to eat which I have found is the kind of meals I need to lean into because I eat too fast and then I feel unsatisfied and starved.

Overall, a decent place to get a small breakfast without feeling like shit after.

From here, we drove to the nearest GO Train station and took the train to Bloor St. because there is a vegan Japanese bakery that I have been wanting to try the last several times we were in town BUT it was still so early so Henry suggested the dreaded, “We can just walk around” which always ends up with us trudging through a concrete jungle until I’m on the precipice of hanger. I don’t mind “just walking around” if there are cool shops, or parks, or actual things to see. But this street was kind of boring, at least the part we were on. But then Henry was like, “WAIT, WE CAN JUST WALK TO KOREATOWN!” and I was like, “OK that’s great but if you recall from all the other times we have been here, there is not much open this early in Koreatown!?!?”

Eventually, we decided that we would take the subway to Kensington Market because I was determined to get me another nanaimo bar this time since we didn’t get one when we were last there! And I wanted to bring one home for Chooch.

In case you don’t know, Bunner’s is a vegan bakery and we had our first (and only!) nanaimo bar there during the winter of 2023 and it was just divine, unlike anything I have ever eaten before and I had become lowkey obsessed with it.

“The Nanaimo bar is a no-bake dessert named after Nanaimo, a Canadian city in British Columbia. It consists of three layers: a coconut crumb base, a custard filling, and a chocolate ganache topping.”

Hilariously, we ended up walking all the way to Koreatown anyway to get to the next subway station. It’s crazy how “familiar” this area is to me now yest I still have no idea where it is on a map of Toronto, lol.

I will say that the walk here was rife with Henry-shaped insults. He was getting on my nerves so bad! Then we had an argument because I accused him of not thinking I’m funny and he was like, “I DO THINK YOU ARE FUNNY” and I said, “YOU NEVER LAUGH AT MY JOKES” and then he got defensive and also mad at me for being mad at him and that is my biggest pet peeve when it comes to him! DO NOT APPROPRIATE MY ANGER!!!

Anyway, this wasn’t actually a fight, just me being snippy and Henry brushing it off because nothing ever upsets him and it’s so annoying.

We had to take two subways! Henry didn’t make me aware of this. Luckily, it was an easy transfer. I get nervous about these things.

It wasn’t a far walk at all to Kensington Market once we got off the subway. Nanaimo bars and some other treats acquired! I thought I took a picture of the display case too but I guess not so instead just feast your eyes on all that exciting coffee machinery and bakery boxes!

I love this area so much! I wish we had spent more time here but Henry had me totally panicked about getting to Rogers Stadium later and I couldn’t shake his annoying clock-watching presence. I did duck into a vintage clothing shop but he was making me feel rushed and uncomfy which is not atypical, honestly.

Next time, we will spend more time here. I wanted to shop for art!

It was still kind of early to be thinking about lunch so Henry gave me the option to either take public transportation to Little Italy, which is where the Japanese bakery is, or walk. I said we could just walk because I was in a better mood now that we walked through the contagiously uplifting Kensington Market.

We stopped in a shop called Red Pegasus because I saw these cute cement confetti earrings in the window display and I like to get one of my friends earrings from various cities we travel to for her birthday, which is in a month, so now I feel relieved that I have one less thing looming over me! There was a really cute dog helping us peruse the shop, lol. And the ladies working there were very helpful when I asked if the earrings were locally-made and went out of their way to look it up for me (Manitoba, not Toronto, but that works!).

In Little Italy, we stumbled upon a sidewalk of Italian stars, all of which were clean as a whistle EXCEPT FOR MY BELOVED GINO VANELLI’S!! Gino, they really did you dirty – literally!

We made it to Tsuchi Cafe :)

By this point, I was definitely ready to eat again. Henry was really annoying here too, btw.

Everything looked so delectable! I got the katsu sando and Henry got the karepan, and I immediately wished I had also gotten that because he gave me a bite (ok, several, lol) and it was incredible. SO BEEFY AND GRAVY-Y!

I also got an iced hojicha latte and it was perfect.

Ew, what is he side-eyeing??

I had to pee so bad and 1. pretty sure I didn’t lock the door correctly so I peed in fear; 2. couldn’t figure out how to turn on the lights until after I was done washing my hands.

I sent Henry back up for a hojicha cookie to split afterward and it tasted like a Nature’s Valley granola bar but softer and decadent. This place was such a cute little gem!

Then it was time to walk back to the train station. I was somehow still grumpy but we made it back without me having a full-throttle meltdown at least. I love walking, you guys know I love walking, but for some reason I was SO OVER WALKING on this day!!

Look how fucking dumb-looking I am. Oh well.

But great news! We had the whole train car thing to ourselves!!

I saw this ad for Annie and laughed because I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT ANNIE THE NIGHT BEFORE. If you read Saturday’s live blog, mayhaps you remember.

Oh! It was embarrassing because we didn’t realize we had chosen the handicapped car so when we were exiting, the train guy had to put down a portable plank for us to walk across. We apologized profusely since we were THE ONLY PEOPLE LEAVING THAT CAR, but he was like, “Eh, I’m Canadian, I’m not bothered.”

I mean, he didn’t say that out loud, but it was implied.

Got back to the hotel around 3PM and started to get ready for the Stray Kids concert! I’m so excited to start recapping that. It was A GOOD TIME.

P.S. OMG I remembered why I was in a bad mood!!! Because there is this tourist site called Casa Loma (a legit castle) that I have been wanting to visit ever since the first time we came to Toronto in 2017 but we never have time. So, after all of Henry’s hullaballoo about GOTTA LEAVE FOR THE STADIUM BEFORE THERE IS NO PARKING LEFT, he had the motherfucking audacity to say to me after we got off the GO train at the Bloor St station, “We can get on the subway right here – it goes straight to that castle place, look” and tried to shove his phone under my nose but I f l i p p e d.

“Why would you even tell me that after saying we couldn’t go? Now suddenly we can go?” I cried, and he backpedaled and said THAT WAS NOT WHY HE WAS SHOWING ME? Oh, I’m sorry, this was just a conversation starter then? A “look how easily we could get to the Canadian place of your dreams if only I cared enough about you” slap to the face???

So, great job, Henry. Way to set me off AS SOON AS WE STEPPED OFF THE TRAIN.