I suggested that we take a little day trip to Waldameer Park on Sunday because why should Chooch get to have all the fun, amirite. Ravine Flyer II got some retracking done recently and I wanted to try it out for myself.

It takes about 2 hours to get to Erie, and we spent most of the time listening to a Megan Miranda audiobook that I ended up finishing on my own a few days later and do not recommend. I think it was called The Perfect Stranger. Who cares?

Anyway, we had a really nice time at Waldameer and I will get into the nitty gritty at a later date but not right now because it’s hot AF and I want to go to bed soon so instead let’s look at an array of Henry’s dumb faces at Waldameer.

Standing in line for Steel Tiger.

Standing in line for Steel Tiger: Portrait Mode.

Standing in line for Comet.

CAROUSELFIES aren’t the same without Chooch :(

Getting ready to wash down that pizza with a soft pretzel.

Henry, trying not to fall asleep on the train.

Henry, thinking about the impending 2 hour drive home.

Standing in line for Tilt-a-Whirl after waiting out a thunderstorm (evidence: my hair).

The “I Haven’t Ridden a Tilt-a-Whirl since 1987” face of impending regret.

That’s all for this sweltering Wednesday evening. I have nothing else to give, so sorry.

Saturday was a pretty chill day. For alibi purposes, here is what went down:

I spent a million hours at the salon getting babylights. I went to a new-to-me place called Bad Apple because my friend goes there and posted about it on Insta and I was like, “That place sounds nice and the name matches my tattoo” so I made an appt because the last place I went was only out of convenience and being panicked about going back to work after two years of WFH’ing and I needed something done FAST.

I liked it but they only did partial highlights without me even realizing what was going on and the gray coverage was NOT good – the whole front of my head was like a billboard for gray hair recognition! And the broad who did my hair was not really my style. She was more like, Big Hat at Coachella vibes and I wasn’t comfortable with that.

I’m picky. We all should be when it comes to our hair!

Anyway, I really liked Bad Apple a lot and the girl who did my hair (Carly) was SO CHILL and easy to talk to. Definitely my type of person. My hair isn’t like, IN YOUR FACE, different since I only just recently had highlights done, but she did a full highlight and blended and toned it SO WELL. I didn’t even need a cut and she was gushing about how healthy my hair is and that like, never happens, so I am crediting that to Vegamour (which I was going to cancel but now I’m like SHOULD I??) and Jennifer Aniston’s Lolavie product line.

After spending nearly all day in The Chair (9:30 – 2ish ugh this is why I’m like the ONLY GIRL in the world who does not enjoy going to the salon. Sitting still is not in my wheelhouse), I came home and scarfed down a quick salad and then Henry and I went to Allegheny Cemetery so I could walkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalkwalk.

We took this to send to our AWOL son.

Shortly after, I saw a fun photo op and asked, tentatively, for Henry to help me achieve said shot. Of course, he blundered it bigly, resulting in A Fight because honestly his lack of even the basic, most RUDIMENTARY photo skills drives me nuts. So then he had the audacity to get mad at me for getting mad at him and I was like YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST LEAVE AND PICK ME UP LATER and then I performed a perfectly-timed storm-off down a brick path while he stayed on the road.

I made sure I waited a long time before tossing a furtive glance over my shoulder to see if he was following me.

HE WAS NOT.

Which equal parts pleased and angered me.

THIS IS CHOOCH’S NEVER SHOUT NEVER SHIRT :(

Well I was off on my own, I paused to take some pictures of my new Korean Vans <3. I’d like to point out that they were shipped from South Korea on a Sunday, and I had them on my feet by the following Wednesday.

South Korea does NOT fuck around with shipping. When you hear expats saying that South Korea has THE BEST delivery service, believe.

Meanwhile, Henry was commenting whiny things on my Instagram for all to see and I was like OMFG this man is so desperate so I made my way back to the car and then he had to play his little hiding game with me which is so annoying. I should have just left him there – I had my car key on me….

…but not my house key. Dammit, I’m always missing something!

I felt bad for Henry because he clearly cannot survive without me so I accepted his groveling apology but only because I wanted to go to the Grant in Millville because it’s been years since we had a slice of the best coconut cream pie in at least the whole state if not the UNIVERSE.

We got there right when they opened at 4, us and all the Olds! We were relegated to the BACK ROOM which isn’t as woodsy and Bavarian-esque as the main dining room so I was pissed. I guess we weren’t OF AGE enough. (Henry probably was but then I lowered the average.)

I like this picture up there though because Henry sort of looks like he’s smiling at me. Smrobly a fluke though.

We decided to get dinner while we were there too even though we weren’t really hungry but it’s a good thing that we did because our food took a really long time to come out – I didn’t mind so much because we didn’t have any where we needed to be and this was basically just helping us build up an appetite, but our waitress was so stressed about this delay and she kept reporting back to us and making sure we were properly hydrated. I fucking LOVED her. Honestly, we didn’t care about the wait at all because we were super engrossed in receiving updates from Chooch (this was when he was suffering through the off-the-cuff vegetarian burrito made from pineapples and cactus, lol) and we were obsessed with the ongoing plight of the young host/busboy who kept trying to sit down and take a break in the corner only to immediately be summoned. My favorite part was when he tried to seat people in our dumb room and one of the waitresses came back to say, “They want to sit in the front room.” He went back to retrieve the menus from the table and as he walked past us to go back to the front room, I heard him huff under his breath, “of course they do.” It was fantastic.

Anyway, our waitress ended up comping us one of the slices of coconut cream and I was like, “This was not necessary – Henry leave her a giant tip” but when she came back with the check, she wisely gave it to me which was good because Henry is a shitty tipper.

Oh man, we ended up so stuffed from eating a dinner that we weren’t really hungry for but that pie man. THAT PIE. It is a religious experience. I am a FIRM believer in the Book of Whipped Topping Coco-Cream. Meringue is for pariahs.

Waiting for Henry to pee on the way out. This is the room I wanted to sit in. :(

HENRY, POST-PEE.

Well, those were the highlights of the day. We came home and spent most of the evening rearranging Chooch’s room. We really want to have that fucking attic cleaned out and painted before he comes back so it can be an extension of his room (like the lounge area) but I don’t think that’s happenin’ hot stuff.

I’m sure you guys are shocked that my 16-year-old son is barely throwing me the tiniest of crumbs when I ask him mommy-centric questions like, oh I don’t know, HOW IS IT GOING IN MEXICO?

ARE YOU HAVING A NICE TIME?

WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

IS YOUR HOST FAMILY NICE?

DO YOU MISS ME?

WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?

I get one-word answers mostly. Well, it was REALLY dicey the first two days because his phone wasn’t working even though Mexico is included in his plan (I guess it took a few days to figure out what was up??) so he had to use Whatsapp to talk to us and I guess he didn’t like that so we barely heard from him and I thought for sure that he was having a shitty time and kept crying to Henry, “DID WE MAKE A MISTAKE???? THIS WAS ALL YOUR IDEA!!!”

I had to rely on the CIEE Yucatan Insta for pictures and updates.

THIS ONE REALLY WORRIED ME because he looks really tense?! This is unlike him!!!! Corey texted me and was like, “Um….

???” and I was like, “Right?!”

But then he sent us pictures of the dogs at his host family’s house!

And this pretty church thing!

And a series of barrio pets!

He sent all those to Henry and when I asked for a picture, he was like:

Once he got his texting ability back, he was like rapid-fire texting me with info and I was like, “OMFG THIS IS GREAT.” Yes, is enjoying his time there! Yes, he likes his host family! He is staying there with another kid, Julian, who is from Seattle and Chooch said he’s nice and they get along well. He just told me right now that they were playing soccer in the park last night at 8pm with a bunch of 9-year-olds lol.

I think he really likes that they get to hang out in the city center at night – I think their curfew is like 10:00 or something so they’re not out gallivanting until dawn or anything. And we all know that Chooch LOVES public transportation (no sarcasm) so he’s living his best life I’m quite sure.

I don’t know what any of this stuff is, he just sends it to me and then dips.

This was Wednesday I think and you can see that he’s smiling! I was 100% relieved by this point and am no longer worried. Yes, I miss him tons but my secondhand excitement is greater!

I think they kid next to him is his roommate.

This is his group’s sign thing, I dunno. He doesn’t tell me!

Other intel I’ve gotten from him is that there are 7 vegetarians including him but the rest are all girls and he doesn’t talk to them. OK cool. But it sounds like he doesn’t have an issue with getting veg meals, except for Saturday when he was at a restaurant and asked for a burrito with no meat and was given a burrito with cactus and pineapple and nothing else and said it was rancid and that he tricked into ordering it (??). And his host family went to the beach on Sunday but all I know is that his back got sunburnt really bad because, even though I sent him there with sunblock, he is a moron when it comes to applying it so I’m sure his back has lots of fun handprints all over it because that’s his signature sunburn style.

I’m telling you, if he was a girl, I’d have a deluge of photos and you’d probably have read about 4 guest blogs by now. Chooch is the worst! He is so much like Henry in that regard. I’m over here like YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. TAKE A MILLION PICTURES!!! SEND POSTCARDS!!! and he’s like, “here’s a picture of my Starbucks that looks like it could have been taken down the street from our house.”

(This is the Insta he created specifically for this trip because god forbid he should post stuff to his actual account that he hasn’t used since like 2020, IDFK.)

We’ll see how much intel I’m able to collect over the next week!

100% the main reason we wanted to go to Michigan’s Adventure was to stuff our butts onto Shivering Timbers, the Custom Coasters, Inc. (CCI for all you woodie simps out there) monstrosity that sits at the top of every thoosie’s wooden coaster Top 10 list.

Literally the best coaster (if not ride in general) in the park and it was practically a walk-on all damn day. I could NOT believe it. I was ready to test my line-standing endurance with this one but nope.

Our first ride was in the back row.

YO. How is this ride legal?? It does NOT feel safe at all, holy shit. From the first drop until you hit the brake run, IT SENDS YOU. I was actually so terrified that I kept my hands down for the whole first half until it made its way back through the smaller hills but even then, I was flying out of my seat and being flung about like a ragdoll. I will not lie to you – this coaster was insane, incredible, and definitely a bucket lister, but HOO BOY brace yo’selves because this thing will try to play the accordion with your vertebrae.

Came back later for a spin on the front row and I am here to tell you that while I’m usually a certified backseater, the front row was my favorite. It was less painful and just more of a pleasant ride – OK perhaps “pleasant” is being too kind. It is still like going off-roading down a Transylvanian cliffside on the devil’s chariot pulled by drunk centaurs.

Completely fucking terrifying.

God please do not disturb the operator. Last year, two trains crashed into each other in the station because of operator error, so…let’s give the operator some peace & quiet, mmm.

Anyway, when Chooch and I rode it in the front seat, Henry sat behind us and had a decidedly very different ride experience from ours. While we were like YEAH THAT WAS THE SHIT, he was more like DID SOMEONE SHIT, LIKE THE STUFF THAT’S NOW IN MY PANTS? He said it was super rough and that his seat was moving forward!? I was like, “Bro you’re lying” and he was like, “No really, my SEAT WAS MOVING FORWARD DURING THE RIDE.”

Chooch and I were like, “OK sure cya sucker” and got back in line. This time, we sat in the second row in order to get a walk-on. It happened to be the same train that we had previously rode and not gon’ lie, I did notice that the seat seemed to be jutting out a good six inches farther than the other seats??

And OK fine I agree with Henry, this was the scariest journey of the three. First of all, my hair was in my face the whole time so I couldn’t see anything, and it just felt like if there was a wooden coaster built to represent Pittsburgh in all of its pot-holed glory – this was it. Step right up for Pittsburgh: The Ride. But in Michigan.

I was HOWLING. It was still fun, kinda (??), but dear Lord did I have the regertz. And fine Henry, the seat was definitely moving. I didn’t feel it so much on my side but by the time we got back to the station, Chooch had moved so far up in his seat that he was now pushed against the lap bar and could barely unfasten his seatbelt, lol wow ugh.

I definitely couldn’t marathon this like I could marathon, say, Phoenix at Knoebels, so 3 rides was enough for me that day. Would have loved to have experienced a night ride on this sadistic hunk of lumber, but when a park closes at 8pm in July, it’s pretty hard to unlock that achievement.

Yeah this ride was….something else. I bought the t-shirt.

(Gotta end with my favorite coaster youtuber’s video from Michigan’s Adventure because there is some good footage of Shivering Timbers and Ryan always provides the best reviews and explanations of coasters and their elements – plus I love when his friend Uncle Nate is with him. I ship Uncle Nate and Janna!!)

I made it through June, which ended way better than it began minus some trailer park-ish drama. Now summer really feels like it’s here and I’m thriving – until the end of my month when my bday rolls around and I will succumb to one-day depression maybe probably depending on how well I’m being paid attention to. I think it should be fine though because we’ll be visiting my long-time friend in Cure obsession & Tolhursting alone, ALYSON!

In an effort to break up the amusement park posts, here’s a photo dump from the last week or so.

Vans Crew! I was stupidly excited when I realized that I was wearing the same shoes as Henry’s grandkids, Calvin and Lily, so we needed a photo, stat. Obviously Henry was not invited to participate.

I got this cute Richard Simmons talking figure at The Rocket in Ypsilanti last weekend & he looks hot AF on my kitchen shelf of 1980s figureheads.

All of these cars belong to HNC, yes even the one that’s behind an entirely different house up there, and this does not include the car that he actually drives every day. (He doesn’t drive any of the other ones! And the one in the forefront is his wife’s and how that one is up on blocks suddenly?!

I don’t get it. Chooch’s nemesis Larry is the same exact way – his whole driveway looks like a junkyard!! Just an FYI for anyone new here, we actually live in the city and not like some rural area where this is more accepted!!

When we came home at one point on Sunday, we couldn’t pull our own car down the driveway because HNC had his one driveable car pulled down there too because he was WORKING ON IT!? I see a lot of dumb shit around here but I am just actually rendered speechless by this.

Here is me at work last week! It was a day that definitely drained some / a lot of the novelty out of the whole “BACK IN THE CITY” sensation thanks to sleazy ass motherfuckers on the street being sleazy ass motherfuckers. I have been trying to avoid this one part of town since I’ve been back because the pandemic really turned it into some Mad Max type of bullshit, but I had to get to the Heinz History Center’s gift shop that day to get Chooch’s homestay some local gifts, thus forcing me to walk a way I have been avoided. And, as though on cue, some Jonny Craig-looking motherfucker with a face full of prison tattoos called out to me, “HEY TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU” and threw his body into some repulsive throat-sloughing laugh.

Then he said something else and my ears did me a favor by going into survival mode and closing off so I thankfully avoided hearing what came next.

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

I never get hit on by any savory types!!!

This week at work, I treated myself to a strawberry matcha latte from Adda. Worth it.

Ugh you guys. On that note, it’s been a really weird week adjusting to a Chooch-less house. I know this month will blow past, summer mths always do, and obviously I’m so glad that he wanted to do this and that we were able to help make it happen (his academic scholarship only went so far, people!) but it’s been disorienting, and I have been off my game big time, especially at work I feel like.

Also, two nights ago my left eye started burning and when I took my contact out, it unleashed a whole ass world of hurt upon me. The pain flooded in so fast and hard that I couldn’t keep my eye open, like my eyelid was like, “LET ME DO MY JOB” and kept forcing my eye shut, like closing a curtain on the veritable fucking acid bath going on behind it. Holy fuck, I have no idea what happened, but it hurt SO BAD that I could barely sleep all night. My eye was watering so hard that my whole left side of my face was like a 1980s art deco penthouse water feature. The pain was medieval, like an eyelash-sized sword slashing my prized orbital parts and I was actually terrified that somehow I had ripped my eyeball maybe?!!?

Holy shit, I was miserable. Obviously I wore my glasses all day yesterday and then it felt like I had allergies, like really hardcore hay fever. I was a dripping, sneezing, eye-squirting mess all day. I actually thought I was being punished for something. Then! Because I hadn’t slept hardly at all that night, the last hour of work was excruciating because I was so exhausted that I kept doing “eyes rolling back” and “snoring-while-awake” routine. You guys, I was SO TIRED that I TOOK A NAP after work. Granted it was for less than an hour and then I woke up panicked about my step-count, because WHAT IS MY LIFE, but yeah – that’s how bad this whole thing was and Henry kept asking, “NOW do you want to go to the doctor?” and I’m like, “NO! IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A WEEK SINCE I HAD TO GO TO LABCORP FOR A WELLNESS CHECK AND GET BLOOD DRAWN!” Bitch, I can only handle so much HEALTH CARE in my life, and there is still A BRUISE AND BAND-AID RESIDUE in the crook of my right arm from THE BLOODLETTING because I am too scared to wash/scrub it off since that area MIGHT STILL BE TENDER FROM THE NEEDLE. I cannot GO TO ANOTHER MEDICAL THING while I still have REMNANTS FROM THE LAST MEDICAL THING on my person!!!!

Anyway, my eye was fine all day until around 6:00 and then it got weird again but not nearly like it was the other night and it’s not even red this time so fingers crossed that it’s just some allergic reaction to who knows what because nothing has changed in my house and I fucking swear to god if I’m suddenly allergic to the squirrels….

OK bye.

We’re not allowed to use the word “general” at my job so now I feel like a real bad ass, rule-breaker.

Michigan’s Adventure is part of the Cedar Fair group (Cedar Point, King’s Island, Knott’s, etc) and it is pretty much considered the worst park across the board by enthusiasts and general public. But when you’re an enthusiast, you will go to where you need to go in order to add the new coaster credits under the proverbial belt. (I’ve mentioned coaster creds to several different people recently and they all asked the same thing: “what do you get if you collect the most? like a prize?” Nope. Just bragging rights? A beefy spreadsheet? Debt?) And the thing about Michigan’s Adventure that was appealing to us, well, two things:

1. Shivering Timbers, this motherwhompin’ CCI woodie that is like THE TALK of Coaster Town – we will get to that in a separate post;
2. It’s in the same state as Bill & Jessi so we got to visit them!

Michigan’s Adventure is located in Muskeon, MI which is where the minor league hockey team was that then-Pittsburgh Penguins Phil Borque got sent down to during one of the seasons in the 1980s. That was the first time I ever heard of “Muskegon” and pretty much the last time too until Michigan’s Adventure. So I always associate Muskegon with Phil Borque and thought about that a lot the day we were there, and also how back in the 80s he dated my aunt Susie’s friend Lori!!!

Anyway, my first impression was that the parking lot is a nightmare – the park had already been open for an hour and there was a huge line of cars trying to get in. I panicked and thought it was going to be crowded that day, but no – parking was just slow AF. Then the car that parked next to us, OMG I’m getting angry all over again remembering this, the passenger got out and proceeded to stand next to our car, blocking my door, while the driver of his car got out and stood there so that he could slowly and languidly apply sunscreen to her stupid person skin. I was like REALLY? REALLY? REALLY?!!? and then said FUCK IT and started opening my door until it was in danger of hitting the guy. He got the hint and they both moved down so that I could out, but now they were blocking Chooch’s door LOLOLOL OMFG MORONS. Chooch was like, “I’m not playing this game” and just scooted across the backseat and got out from the other side.

Idiots.

Getting into the park from there was smooth-sailing.  My immediate reaction was, “This place is not so bad!” Visually, I mean! We had yet to experience ride ops and customer service. WE SHALL SEE.

(Well, we already saw, but pretend with me that we’re going to find out together.)

…do Henry and Chooch count as friends? I hope so because they’re the only people I ever hang out with!

The Ferris wheel wasn’t running but I liked how it looked here behind the trees.

Let’s talk ambiance: this is a small park, but it’s cute and clean. I love parks that have lakes either next to them or in the middle – this one had really cute swan boats that you can see over yonder!

And I liked that the colors of the benches gave off a 1970s summer camp vibe.

It’s hard to fuck up soft serve (never mind, I’ve seen it done before) and  this one was simple and satisfying! (Although my one small complaint is that nowhere on the signs did it mention sprinkles so we had to ask. I expected them  to say no since it wasn’t listed anywhere, BUT THEY HAD IT! I’m sorry, but soft serve without sprinkles is like grilled cheese without ketchup.)

Stalking us while we were in line for Corkscrew. Then, in true Michael Myers fashion, I turned back around a second later and HE WAS GONE. How does he dip so fast like that? He must have learned it in the SERVICE.

Could this have been the least-worst Arrow corkscrew I’ve ever ridden?? It was smooooth and my head banged not even once. Also, the line was only about 20 minutes long which is appropriate. The longest line we probably stood in was for Thunderhawk, the Vekoma SLC, which was maybe around 30 minutes. Ops were decent here?!

Here’s Chooch ignoring me in line for said Vekoma SLC. I want to note, as evidence to support my earlier claims about ride ops: this one had ONE KID manning the general entrance to  the station, the Fast Lane entrance to the station, and checking the restraints on the left side of the train. ONE KID, barely any older than Chooch. He was getting the job DONE.

Also, I believe this was the only instance of LINE JUMPING we endured all day,  thank god. It was still frustrating though – a whole ass family of 4 or 5 “excuse me, pardon me”ing their way all the way up to the front. Annoying!!!! I wish I owned a park. I would enforce the rules and motherfuckers would be crying.

And probably suing too but we’ll tackle that when the day comes.

I should note that this was the third ride of the day, right after getting in A HUGE FIGHT with Henry on the second ride of the day: the carousel. Who fights on the carousel?? you might ponder. The couple who is 1/2 comprised of a camera-moron whose only task is to take a carouselfie of his family but does it shittily every time and then gets mad in retaliation when the other 1/2 gets mad first, and their offspring just sits there on his pony and endures it because, this is life. This is us.

Anyway, we got off the carousel and I was like LET’S JUST LEAVE but then proceeded to storm off in the opposite direction of the exit. Chooch kept pace with me but Henry was like, way behind. I dipped into the Thunderhawk line hoping that Henry wouldn’t know where we went but apparently he has us chipped because when we got off the ride, he was waiting for us like a dumb creep. Ugh. Then we were Happy Family again and didn’t fight anymore, look at us. That’s growth.

Zack’s Zoomer is a little wooden coaster that had what looked to be a short line but it was one train ops and suuuuuper slow moving.

We got to the station and I realized it was basically just like the Woodstock Express and I was like, “There is no fucking way we’re both fitting in one seat,” but Henry was like, “YES WE CAN” and he stuffed himself in next to me so hard that I felt my hipbone bend, I swear to god. I honetsly can’t believe that the ride ops let us sit together, it was sooo clown car-esque.

Chooch had to wait for the next train and he seemed fine with having a big of PARENT FREE time.

Bye, Chooch. Say “wheeee.”

OMG this fucking janky pile of lumber, lol. When we were standing in line, some really annoying, corny country ballad came on, something about “this is my song,” and I loudly said, “Who even likes this shit??” and Henry started cracking up because the three teenage girls in front of us where balls-to-the-wall lip synching along but I didn’t know because I had my back toward them when I was screaming about it.

I just think that amusement parks should exclusively play 1980s music.

I thought the station was so nice, how they had flower pots hanging over there.

Anyway, this ride was sooooo painful. The first part was great though – you leave the station and wind around into a tunnel and Y’ALL KNOW HOW I LOVE ME SOME TUNNELS. Then you go up the lift hill and get stuck at the top for a minute – at least, that’s what happened to us. Then the first drop is SO GOOD because it was recently RETRACKED so it was smoother than Rob Thomas singing “Smooth.”

But then as you’re going down the hill, you happen to look over to the right and notice that the rest of the coaster is OLD ASS WOOD TRACK and while you’re realizing this, the JACKHAMMERING BEGINS. Holy fuck, this was definitely up there with some of the roughest woodies I’ve ever willingly put myself through. Henry and I were bellowing our chorus of OWs like a couple of fallen angels taking their first waltz along the fiery coals of Hell.

Hey, GCI – bring some more of that smooth-ass track to Michigan, stat.

We didn’t ride this, but I thought the sign was cyoooooot.

Did I say Thunderhawk was the longest line we stood in that day? Scratch that bring it back, because it was actually Mad Mouse. We were prepared for this after watching numerous videos about how bizarre the ops are on this one, plus these damn wild mouse rides are GP faves so they always amass long lines no matter what.

Chooch was being such a baby about having to wait in line! Like we had anything else to do! I think he was really ready to leave because, GOD FORBID, his phone was dying/had died. Here’s a picture of Henry and Chooch talking about block zones and trying to understand why they were only allowing two cars on the course at once.

It really wasn’t that bad, waiting in this line. I think it was probably about 45 minutes (I mean, OK that’s pretty pathetic to wait that long for a wild mouse, but coaster creds make you do some dumb things). And it was actually a pretty decent ride!

After this, we stopped in the gift shop and bought some shirts (um, for one of the smallest, least-loved Cedar Fair parks, they have some great merch!), then made our way out of the park having ridden all of the coasters. Shivering Timbers was the highlight and you can let me fangirl about that in a separate post, if that’s OK with you. Cool, thanks!

Buh-bye, Michigan’s Adventure! You were not nearly as terrible as I had imagined. Hopefully Cedar Fair throws you a bone in the form of a new coaster and we will definitely come back!

Yo, I still haven’t recapped our day at Michigan’s Adventure because I’m a shit blogger.

And now I’m all, “wah, I miss my kid” like I sent him off to war. Henry said he was surprised at how much maternal emotions are actually contained within my standoffish self.

Haha ugh.

That being said (I watch this one coaster review channel on YouTube and they say this so often that I blurt it out when I think they’re going to say it, like it’s some totally stimulating game I play by myself because I have no friends, so now I’m accidentally saying it in my head all the time during my normal non-coaster working hours, so that’s great), here are some pictures of Chooch looking like he’s….

….at the DMV;

waiting to have dental work done;

at jury duty but it’s a boring case; (side bar: Chooch had to rode with that kid and he was petty unhappy about it lololol.)

having a nervous breakdown while babysitting his next-door niece and nephews;

trying to sit on the couch but it’s full of my library books;

HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER WITH HIS MOMMY (and dumb dad, not pictured) AT MICHIGAN’S ADVENTURE!

He actually *was* pretty unsufferable toward the end of the day but he was mostly a delight.

I miss him. It’s fine.

It’s not fine. IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET HARDER! COLLEGE! MOVING OUT!! ETC ETC!!!

Hello muffins. I am a wreck over here with Chooch’s impending departure approaching – I have been trying not to think about it but this morning when I was brushing my teeth I started crying really hard LOL shhh don’t tell him.

So I’m interluding a bit to drop some of my current favorite Kpop jams on here because I need a feel-good moment or ten.

1. Aespa – Life’s Too Short

Did you know that Aespa is Henry’s current favorite girl group? Well, they are. Anyway, this is my lowkey anthem lately. Everything else sucks but inside my bubble, we’re keeping it light and fun. It is the only way I’m getting by.

2. Winner – I Luv U

WINNER IS BACK, BOY-O!!! I can stare dreamily into Jinu’s chocolate eyes again! This song just screams SUMMER PARTY to me. I love Winner so much! There is no one else like them. The high-pitched “YOU-oo” reminds me so much of a 1940s Disney cartoon. COMMENT IF YOU AGREE.

3. B.I. (feat.DeVita) – BTBT

I think it was during our Memorial Day weekend trip to Six Flags New England that this song came on a million times and I never tired of it ONCE.  I desperately miss him being in IKON but I love that he’s thriving on his own (like Wonho!!!). Support this man.

(This is SUCH a summer night vibe.)

4. Kang Daniel & Jessi –

I mean, this has been THE YEAR for both K.Dan and Jessi so it only makes sense that they’d collab. (I originally just wanted to type a line of fire emojis for this one.)

5. Nayeon – Pop

OK finally JYP has given this Twice powerhouse a solo. THANK YOU, JYP.  This is everything that made me fall in love with Kpop in the first place. Doesn’t this make you feel good?!

6. Hyolyn – Waka Boom

Literally my queen.

7. Sunmi – Heart Burn

Oh my fucking god the 60s aesthetic in this video and Sunmi’s signature breathy vocals and Pippi Longstocking-esque hair?! I’m screaming!! She’s touring this fall and it pains me to  know that I am probably going to have to miss it else Kpop bankrupts me.

8. Junny (feat. ChungHa) – Color Me

The synth, the vocals, the visuals, the CHUNGHA CAMEO (she has a comeback soon too – all of my GODTIER female soloists are coming back almost all at once and I could just explode!).

9. Seventeen – Hot

I mean this is a summer no-brainer. (Also I have been saying this since like 2016 but I really think this is the year that I learn all of the members of Seventeen, lol. There are only 13, and I know all 23 of NCT so I got this, right?)

10. Treasure – Jikjin

OK this isn’t super new but it has been in my head all week and it gets me so hyped. I need to learn all of their names soon-ish too Not a single bad track from Treasure! That’s YG for you, though. Quality over quantity, lol ha ha …. ugh. (VIPs and BLINKS know the pain of stanning YG artists.)

OK there’s 10 songs for you to maybe find one or two that appeals to you! Who’s shocked that there is NO NCT here?!?! Only because they don’t have anything super new, lol.

We already chatted about Saturday in Michigan, and then strolled down Monday’s memory lane together, so now let’s grab some beverages of choice and you can attend my riveting recap of our Sunday! But instead of starting with Sunday morning, let’s just skip ahead to the evening, after we left Michigan’s Adventure.

Because I literally cannot do a damn thing in sequential order!

The park was about 3.5 hours away from where we were staying – it was all the way up in Muskegon and Henry’s weird logic was to get one hotel near Bill and Jessi and stay there for both Saturday and Sunday night.

Someone had REGERTZ.

I mean, the park closed at 8 so even if we had stayed until closing, we would have gotten back probably by midnight. Not ideal but not awesome either. So we unanimously opted to leave the park around 5 which seems like it would have been a great idea except that I found a town called HOLLAND on Roadside America and now I desperately needed to go here to see the windmill. I figured we could eat there and found a place with veg/vegan options that seemed good and Henry agreed to this plan for some reason, even though it was kind of NOT ON THE ROUTE BACK.

First, we had to stop at a car wash because Henry parked the car under a tree at the hotel so the next morning one whole side of the car was straight Pollocked with bird shit and various tree droppings. GOOD ONE, HENRY. Of course, it was on Chooch’s and my side so we had to see it every time we got into the car, ugh. It was so gross that there was no way we could wait until we got home to deal with it.

Car washes will never not be fun for me.

Then we got to Holland and you will note that there are no photos here of Holland and that is because it was a SUPER POPULAR TOURIST TOWN and not the little rural knock-off Netherlands that I had imagined in my dumb head. It’s also apparently a college town and the people we encountered as we walked to the restaurant were YUPPIES and other types that were not our kind of people at all. These were the rich leisurelies.

And FORGET EATING IN HOLLAND if you don’t have a reservation anywhere. There was a line out the door for the place I originally picked and then we tried some hoity toity pizza place down the street and the hostess was like, “It will be an hour wait” and we were like, “K bye.”

I was so mad! And also the windmill I wanted to see was located on whatever “Windmill Island” is but Henry said it was closed and honestly, he was probably lying but I didn’t even care enough to fact-check his ass at that point.

Henry said we were going to be driving past Grand Rapids though and suggested that I look for somewhere there. I found a place called Stella’s that seemed cool.

Unlike DUMB HOLLAND, downtown Grand Rapids was not poppin’. At least, not the area surrounding Stella’s.

It was sometime after 7 by now, and Stella’s only had a 20 minute wait. I gladly put my name in and we walked around the block a little bit while Henry kept saying, “How far are we going?” the whole time and I was like “OMFG GO BACK IF YOU WANT” Jesus!!

Never pass up an opportunity to turn Chooch into a wallflower! LOOK AT THE PRESH FACE.

The back of Stella’s was way more eye-poppin’ than the front!

Anyway, I got the text saying our table was ready before 20 minutes even passed.

Yo, I loved this place so much IMMEDIATELY. It was my kind of vibe: a little bit of punk, a whisper of goth, a smudge of rockabilly. Plus, Thundercats was playing on the TV at the bar!!

I don’t think Chooch talked to us at all. He was being a big crybaby because he wasn’t hungry and we were like, “WELL WE ARE, SO.” He did end up ordering something thank god – I hate it when he pouts and doesn’t get anything because it makes me feel weird as a parent and as I’m typing this I am overcome with the photo album in my mind flipping through mental snapshots of all the times I pulled that shit on Henry, lolololololololol. My favorite was when we were at a diner in San Bernadino when we were out that way for Coachella in 2004 and I was feeling A BIG WAY like literally having a major body image breakdown,, that I refused to order anything and then LEFT HIM THERE after he ordered so he had no choice but to stay there and eat alone while I cried in the car in 110 degree desert heat so who was the real loser in this scenario, lol.

I got a salad with fake chicken. It was fine and didn’t make me sick, and in this season of my life (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT LOL), that’s all I can ask for.

Chooch got vegan wings and they were really good – they were super substantial, and he couldn’t finish them all so I was allowed to have one. Oh, and Anthony Green’s “Dear Child” came on at one point! Love when I can enjoy a decent meat-free meal in a cool bar with music of my youth(ish) playing. I have literally never heard an Anthony Green/Circa Survive song in public (non-concert venue) before. When I cried, “OMG DO YOU HEAR WHO THIS IS??” Henry paused for a second and then said, with REALLY SEXY CONFIDENCE, “Anthony Green.”

I mean, I can’t be surprised. I had been obsessed with Circa Survive since almost the beginning of our relationship right up until Kpop pushed everything non-Korean out of my heart.

I guess Stella’s is big on ice cream sandwiches because the dessert selection was 5 different varieties.

Henry and I got the chocolate peanut butter one to share and it was DELECTABLE. Chooch said he didn’t want one.

Bathroom selfie! See also: Not Dressed for Holland.

(Can I just note that these shorts are from some junior brand at JC Penney’s and literally the most comfortable shorts of my whole adult life? I had to finally accept the fact that me and jean shorts just ain’t happenin’ anymore and ever since then, I was able to open my world – and wardrobe – up to linen and other non-denim fabric shorts and I am finally able to be comfortable in the summer heat now! I have a bunch of different ones from the Kohl’s juniors department too because the options in the adult womens section AIN’T IT, SIS. Thank you. This has been Erin’s Fashion Corner.)

It wasn’t too notable in there, but the stall doors were mildly entertaining.

I came back to the table to see that Chooch now had an ice cream sandwich, all ready to go in a plastic container. He said he was going to take it with him and “eat it later” in the car but then had it 90% devoured on the one block walk back to our car, so.

What a great experience! I would hang out there all the time if I lived in Grand Rapids and had friends.

“You have us,” Henry said.

“Yeah as I was saying, if I had friends,” I re-emphasized.

Hilariously, we still didn’t get back to the dumb hotel until around midnight and the best part was that the ROOM KEY DIDN’T WORK ANYMORE so we had to wait for Henry to go back to the lobby and get it fixed, which was awesome because you know how when you’re past the point of regular exhaustion, your body starts to feel twitchy and like bugs are crawling inside your skin? Yeah, that was us Sunday night, waiting for the GODDAMN ROOM KEY.

It’s just been “July 4th” for me for several years now – just some rando’ day we get off work, yay. Nothing to celebrate unless you’re proud to be part of a nation of mass shootings, a nation that puts guns and fetuses over people, a nation that hates women, a nation with enough types of racism, prejudice, and homophobia that Crayola could create a new box of crayons with an ugly-ass shade for each.

I want to say something like “I wish I could back to a time when I was ignorant to how shitty America is and was able to celebrate the 4th of July the way commercials and extremely biased text books told me to” but really, I wish I knew back then what I know now.

ANYWAYZZZZZZZZZZ.

(Speaking of Wayzzzz, I got to be in control of Henry’s Waze while he was driving over the weekend and why oh why (oh did I ever leave Ohio – sorry, there’s my Back to the Beach quoting tic acting up again) is it so relentlessly funny to me to comment “Stan <insert any Kpop group here>” on traffic alerts?! Forever Fifteen over here.)

This was our last day in Michigan, and I was stoked because Jessi & Bill were available to meet us for breakfast before we headed out!

Chooch already didn’t want to pose for this but as I was taking it, I shouted, “MOMMY’S BIG BOY NEXT TO BIG BOY!” and he pretty much wanted to smash himself inside that hamburger and let Big Boy masticate him.

You guys, I took a picture this time!

Breakfast was fun! We don’t have any Big Boys left in Pittsburgh (that I know of, anyway) so it was fun being back in one. I got to tell the table about how Big Boy was the catalyst to my becoming a serial pen paller in the late 80’s/90’s (Henry has probably heard this story a dozen times at this boiling point in our relationship but he sat there quietly and indulged me). Back in the 80s, the Big Boy’s kids menu was its own separate entity. None of that getting a tiny after thought in the regular menu, kids got what was essentially an activity book with food offerings sprinkled in there somewhere between animal facts and a word search.

But on the back, that’s where it really got cookin’. Kids could submit their names and addresses for penpal purposes!! This was huge! I was always so excited to go to Big Boy so I could collect more kids to write to. Granted back then, our exchanges didn’t go much deeper than HI HOW ARE YOU IT IS RAINING HERE TODAY GOTTA GO TIME FOR DINNER! But it was an excuse to go to Kmart and buy Lisa Frank stationary! (I would later upgrade to better stationary stores, don’t you worry.) To this day, I associate Pirates baseball games with summer nights, laying on the floor of the living room and writing QUALITY CONTENT on unicorn’d paper while my dad watched the game on TV and summer bug sounds droned in from the window screens.

I REALLY miss the 80s a lot. Like, everyday a lot.

Eventually, Big Boy published MY name and address in one of the menus! It was like, my crowning glory as a youth. Maybe even greater than winning first place in a coloring contest in Mrs. Zombek’s 1st grade class.

(I hung on to that for YEARS….)

(….and clearly am still clinging.)

Eventually I graduated to the “cool teen years” of penpalling, where one would order address labels that would also include pertinent penpal-attracting stats, like your age and a hobby or two. I had one set that I remember vividly probably because I’m pretty sure I still have some and must have recently uncovered them, but they had Marvin the Martian on them (inexplicably – I was never actually into that??), said that I played tennis, and NO PREPS OR POSERS PLZ.

I mean, duh.

These came in handy for sticking inside SLAM BOOKS, which were tiny booklets started by one person who would put their info in it, send it on to one of their penpals who would also add something, and etc etc etc until the last page would get filled and that person was responsible for sending it back to the creator. I *lived* for these.

All of this was just the gateway to the real BIG BOY (not sorry) of penpalling, which was PRISONER PENPALS. Man, those were the days (as I shuffle through today’s mail and see that my death row pen pal has written to me).

Where am I going with this. Help me, I’m trapped in my head again.

OK I face-slapped myself back to present day. After our waitress asked us for the 57th time if we needed anything else, we felt that perhaps it was time to get rolling before she came back with the lunch specials.

I was overly excited that Big Boy had Korean won on their wall! Chooch actually pointed it out first, ugh, gotta give credit where credit’s due, I suppose.

I wanted to try and snag a stranger to take a full group photo for us but literally no one was coming or going. So Henry was all, “OH DARN, I GUESS I WILL JUST DO IT.”

Jessi & Bill are literally on the super short list of my favorite people of all time, no exaggeration, and I am so happy that we got to spend some time with them. I was sad to leave BUT they said that they might be able to come to the pie party (oh shit did I tell you, dear blog, that we’re having a pie party again after five years?? More later) in September so I’m not allowing myself to get too emo over here.

My favorite thing about them is that they’re not just friends of mine and Henry’s – they’re Chooch’s friends too! They have been in his life since he was like, 2, and he freaking adores them so much. Plus, they brought out his pleasant side all weekend and he was willingly telling stories and just being overall decent. I wanted to scream out, “There’s the Chooch I know and love!”

Don’t worry, as soon as we pulled out of the Big Boy parking lot, he was suffocated by all of our annoying traits and general parent-ness, so all was righted in our world again.

Sigh.

Jessi sent me their versions of some of the photos taken on Saturday and I’m cracking up because I hadn’t originally noticed the sign that says NOBODY PUTS BABY ON A UNICORN!!

OMG I loved this store and this day so much.

LITERALLY THE BEST PEOPLE YOU WILL EVER MEET.

Then we drove home with very little drama – no big fights, etc. Even though the three of us in a hotel room is usually cramped hell and I am dying for personal space fifteen minutes in, I really love our road trips so much. I’m glad that Henry was so agreeable when I was like, “Hey we should visit Jessi and Bill, and oh yeah, while we’re at it, we could also just pop right on up to Michigan’s Adventure…” and by “pop right on up” I mean drive an additional 3.5 hours, but sure why not!

Look forward to the Michigan’s Adventure recap here soon, or don’t! Dread it, even! I don’t care!

(Just kidding, I do care. I want everyone to look forward to my dumb blog posts. Wah.)

I’m one of those people who suffer through buyer’s remorse with the littlest of purchases. The number of times I’m returning items of clothing that I could technically consider a necessity but also regret spending the money on is actually quite ridiculous – ask Henry, he’s the one who always gets stuck making the return lol.

But with concerts, I’m always willing to make the splurge. I do have to be pickier with Kpop though because seeing kpop shows ALWAYS involves a road trip. Pittsburgh sucks. Unless it’s a Korean classic rock band, then maybe Pittsburgh would book them. Because I live in a shit city, there have been tons of kpop concerts I’ve sadly had to pass on (like Twice – I would have loved to have seen them again since I only saw them briefly at KCON 2018!). And I have been admittedly also holding out bigtime for NCT127 to announce a US tour (I mean, congrats on the DOME TOUR guys that’s fucking amazing but can you come back to the US next please??) because I am prepared for them to TAKE IT ALL.

However, I haven’t seen a Kpop concert since November 2019 (Super M!!!) and have only been to one other non-kpop concert since COVID Days.  So I got tired of waiting and made the unilateral decision to buy tickets for me and Henry to see Stray Kids in Newark.

The tour had originally sold out pretty quickly but another Newark date was added so we got tickets for that one – and even then, it was slim pickings and exorbitantly priced even for our so-so seats. But I have genuinely liked Stray Kids since their debut (saw them at KCON 2018 too) and honestly had zero REGERTZ after completing the transaction. In fact, it was the opposite – I felt light and GIDDY.

And as it got closer to the date, I felt even more giddy! I forgot how fantastic kpop concert anticipation is! Chooch had the opinion of taking the second ticket but when he learned that the show was in Newark, he said, “Nope. I’m good.”

Because Newark sucks. Hard. Almost every Kpop concert I’ve gone to has been there, ugh.

We ate dinner nearby at Urban Vegan and then walked over to the Prudential Center where an unorganized frenzy of lines had already formed. Henry was like WHAT IS THIS and I was like “welcome to Kpop concerts, Gramps!” It wasn’t nearly as bad as KCON at least, where Chooch and I were seriously afraid we’d miss the start of the show because it took so fucking long to get inside. This wasn’t MUCH better though because people were just crawling through security, literally acting like it was a lazy walk along the bayou and not an obstacle to overcome before getting inside the arena. OMG, the shit that people try to bring in, like sis – you’re going to a concert not a goth sleepaway camp! Leave the spikes and backpacks full of WHO KNOWS WHAT in the car??

I mean, staff was walking up and down the sidewalk when we were still outside, yelling out everything that wouldn’t be permitted inside, and yet —

Anyway! We eventually got through because I didn’t have a purse and Henry left his spiked collar in the hotel.

Then we stood in line for merch and made friends with the people around us. Everyone kept trying to look behind the curtain into the seating area because there was all kinds of screaming happening and us seasoned fans were like “they are definitely not on stage yet” because it wasn’t 7:30 yet (name a big concert that actually starts on time) and the fact that the screaming was happening in waves told me that they were probably just flashing photos of Stray Kids on the screens to get the crowd stoked. I was not falling for this fire drill because I wanted to buy a T-shirt before they sold out just like the lightsticks!

Made it to our seats about 15 minutes before the show started. Everyone around us was grand. No beef with any of my section mates!

Our view wasn’t too bad considering we were trying to be somewhat frugal! Oddly, no one in the rows below us stood up not even once, so Henry The Old was super into that.

I posted this picture on Instagram and someone was like “sorry Henry didn’t have fun” and first of all, he did though? Well, as much fun as his Old Man Heart allows him to have. But second of all, there is literally no band in the entire world that will elicit any type of happy, energetic, exuberant reaction from Henry. He is HENRY ROBBINS, King of Showing Nothing. President of the Frowning Nations. Leader of the Ambivalent Army.

(Not BTS Army lol fuck outta here.)

As expected, they opened with Maniac and I was SUPER STOKED! The relentless screams around me were giving me so much life and energy and being under the same roof as these 8 stupidly talented guys had me losing my mind!

Whatever these blow-up leg thingies were, they were extremely startling! I didn’t even notice them being blown up!

I was internally exploding when they performed God’s Menu!!!! I really think this is my fave SKZ jam.

Literally the only “uhhhh” part of the whole evening was when they left the stage and it was “GAME TIME” – a video played on the screens and anytime the camera landed on someone in the crowd, they had to replicate whatever pose one of the Stray Kids was making in a picture. That part alone had me wishing I had a big hat to hide under, but the second game was even worse because it was a CHOREO game and I was like HOLY SHIT IF THIS FUCKING CAMERA LANDS ON MY UNCOORDINATED ASS, ISTG….while at the same time I was praying for it to choose Henry, lol. We both made it out unscathed, thank god. Henry was like I DO NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT and I was like WELCOME TO KPOP WHERE YOU’RE EXPECTED TO ENGAGE AND PARTICIPATE. There was a very small window in my life where I would have been ok with this, and that was probably ages 14-19.

So…standard kpop stan age, haha.

Henry’s review of the Stray Kids concert: He was surprised that he knew most of the songs but only knew the names of the songs if they put it on the screen, he thought that they talked too much (lol that’s every Kpop concert, Gramps!), and he thought someone else was Felix (the only member he knows) until halfway thru the show 😂

He looks blank in all these pictures but he swears he “watched it all” and that it was “good.” His favorite song is Thunderous and he insists on singing the wrong lyrics in spite of my corrections, like a total dad. 😆

Anyway, this was a big deal because as I previously mentioned, usually when I go to Kpop concerts, Chooch goes with me and Henry just drops us off and sleeps in the car or explores the local grocery stores of whatever city we’re in, haha. Henry does like Stray Kids but is not really into the concert aspect of this lifestyle so it was kind of a big deal to get him to go.

There was another dad in the row in front of us. I asked Henry afterward if it looked like he was having fun and Henry cried, “He left for like a full hour!”

I’ve never been great at remembering the set list but I looked it up and this seems accurate for any Stays out there who desperately need to know:

1. MANIAC
2. VENOM
3. Red Lights (THIS KILLED ME DEAD, HOLY SHIT, THE ROPES!)
4. Easy
5. ALL IN
6. District 9
7. Charmer
8. Back Door
9. Lonely St.
10. B Me
11. Side Effects
12. Thunderous
13. DOMINO
14. God’s Menu (THIS MIGHT BE MY #1 BUT IT’S SO HARD TO CHOOSE)
15. CHEESE (SOOOO INTO THIS PERFORMANCE LOL)
16. YAYAYA
17. ROCK
18. Waiting For Us
19. Muddy Water
20. Silent Cry
21. Hellevator
22. TOP
23. Scars
24. Double Knot
25. TA
26. Victory Song
27. MIROH (THIS SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE “GIVE ME FIVE THAILAND” KPOP WORKOUT ROUTINES!)
28. Star Lost
29. Haven

I know I’m missing crucial information but I will come back and edit this as needed. I just really wanted to get it off my plate while it was still fresh from the oven that is MUH MIND and also because we’ll be gone all weekend. I’m really trying to be better at writing in this thing in a timely manner instead of waiting like 3 weeks to recap a trip to an amusement park or whatever.

The only bad part of this whole day was afterward when we had to STAND IN DOWNTOWN NEWARK for nearly an hour trying to get a Lyft or Uber back to the hotel. But other than that, what a beautiful night. I didn’t even hate our hotel room. And now I stan SKZ even harder and would certainly consider myself a legit Stay at this point!

Blog, this was the worst / most disappointing Asian Read-a-Thon I’ve had since I started in 2020. I only read 12 books and a lot of those didn’t do it for me. I will make this quick.

1. The Night Shift – Alex Finlay

Right off the bat, the readathon was off on the wrong foot. I had run out of time in April to read this book and didn’t want to return it to the library so I flipped through the pages and saw that one of the characters was South Asian. Boom, Asian rep. A stretch, but I allowed it. (He was also pretty much the best character too, in a book full of cardboard cutouts.) The premise of this book sounded awesome (a thriller that starts off at a Blockbuster in the 90s) but the execution was just sloppy. Characters were flat, and I barely remember it at this point. I gave it a 3 on Goodreads but more like 2.5.

Blockbuster deserved better than that.

SO DID THE ASIAN CHARACTER.

2. Grass – Keum Suk Gendry-Kim

Growing up American with a shitty history curriculum, I didn’t learn about Korean comfort women until I developed my own interest in Korea as an adult and saw firsthand all of the memorials and statues around Korea when I visited. This graphic novel details the true experience of a woman who was sold into Japanese enslavement during the Japanese occupation of Korea and it is, needless to day, harrowing, graphic, infuriating, and nightmarish. The stories of these women need to be heard and this is a good starting point.

This is one of the comfort women memorials we saw in Paju, South Korea.

3. Fiona and Jane – Jean Chen Ho

A series of vignettes about two Taiwanese American friends. I liked some stories better than others but I’m always here for a coming-of-age tale. I loved the cover a lot and of course was happy any time there were Korean references which is pretty much every book nowadays it seems.

4. Tokyo Ever AFter – Emiko Jean

Look, I needed a YA palate cleanser, OK? This book was a delight. Princess Diaries but make it Japanese. I LOVE books that are set in other countries, especially east Asia, and this delivered interesting cultural references and made me want to revisit Japan in a big way.

5. Arsenic and Adobo – Mia P. Manansala

6. An Emotion of Great Delight – Tahereh Mafi

7. Popular Hits of the Showa Era – Ryu Murakami

YES BITCH. Japanese horror is my jam and this was one of the best books I read in May, and the whole year. It was so gross and violent and HILARIOUS, the characters were wild, the whole book was a dumpster fire in the very best possible way. It was a fucking RIDE. I loved this so much, screamed, “OMFG” numerous times throughout, and then laughed like a maniac when I finished it, like I had just gotten done hanging out with the funniest friend I have. I really felt like I was in this book.

It is very graphic though and there were a few moments when I had to put it down because I was feeling it.

I’ve also read In the Miso Soup by this author which I really liked, and also one of the sickest horror movies I’ve ever seen was based off his book “Audition,” so I have a good track record with this guy and should really try to read more from him.

8. Dava Shastri’s Last Day – Kirthana Ramisetti

OMFG die already. That’s all, that’s the review. One star, hated everyone.

9. Ayesha At Last – Uzma Jalaluddin

Billed as a modern-day Muslim Pride and Prejudice and it’s exactly that. I really enjoyed. Main characters that you really felt good about rooting for, eye-opening cultural lessons, and just a GOOD love story. I needed this after that Dava shit show up there. (Also this cover is gorge.)

10. Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning – Cathy Park Hong

Solid five stars. This is a must-read. Part memoir, part history lesson, it’s a beautifully-written collection of essays that every American should read, regardless of race, to have a better understanding of the minor feelings that come with growing up Asian in America.

11. Joan is Okay – Weike Wang

This was a weird, quirky little book. It’s weird to read books that are already referencing COVID, but I thought that this one did it well when that time came. I thought the writing was excellent and definitely need to read “Chemistry” soon.

12. Dial “A” for Aunties – Jesse Q. Sutanto

A bunch of high-strung Chinese-Indonesian aunties trying to cover up a murder, solve an un-related crime, and work a wedding all at once? This book was so slapstick, well-paced, with fleshed-out characters that pop off the pages. It’s so over-the-top and completely implausible, but that was the intent and it works. I will definitely continue on with this series because I need more aunties! (Highly recommend this as an audiobook – the narrator is excellent and brought the aunties to life!)

We had already decided a few days prior to Father’s Day to go to Kennywood that evening for some night ride action. Originally, we were going to try and eke out a day trip to King’s Island but that’s a lot of driving and Henry didn’t have the luxury of having the next day off like Chooch and me. So he made the executive decision to ax that idea.

It actually turned out for the best because now that we’d be home most of the day that Sunday, Chooch and I were able to finish that stupid gem art project in time to present it to Henry while it was still Father’s day and not Labor Day.

(I originally said Flag Day but that happened a week before Father’s Day lol who knew?)

Plus, by the time we gave Henry his dumb gift, I was READY to go to Kennywood. I was like, “SET ME FREE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” Could not wait to get out of the house.

This will mostly just be photos of FAMILY TIME because I’m getting super wrapped up in mortality lately and want to remember every single moment I spend with these two OMG I’m so panicked about TIME.

We all squeezed on the Kangaroo! I do want to say one thing, that while I love the new LEWK, etc of the Kangaroo, the new queue is unfamiliar and makes me feel disoriented.

Keny Kangaroo: Bites & Pints Edition. I hate that Chooch is basically the same height as him now??

Chooch wanted to do the Bites & Pints thing that Henry and I did last week even though he’s picky as hell but he swore that OMG it wouldn’t be a waste, and Henry was like, “OK fine you and I will share it” but then they ended up not using it all so GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK TO KENNYWOOD THIS WEEKEND.

Deciding what he wanted from the German booth.

OK this wasn’t on the Bites & Pints thingie but I wanted to get this ever since I saw Coaster Spot eat these when they were at Kennywood earlier in the season: FRIED MUSH at Rogue BBQ. This whole fucking basket was $8 (actually the sign said $7 but the impersonable broad who took our order charged us an extra dollar) and so filling that I only ate like 4 and gave the rest to Henry and Chooch. They were GOOD though and I would get them again.

Some older lady also ordered them and tried to return them because she “ordered the fried mushrooms and these weren’t mushrooms.” LOL, she was That Day Old when she learned that mush isn’t mushroom’s nickname.

Dude this guy at Ghostwood Estate was NOT fucking around with people. He called out every single person who ducked under the railings instead of walking all the way around and he was NOT happy about it.

He called out this one young black girl who blatantly ignored him when he told her to go back and walk the whole around. Then he called out an older WHITE NERD GUY who was SO OFFENDED at being told he was breaking the rules when he was, you know, breaking the rules, and stamped his way all the way back through the empty queue like he was told. As he passed the line attendant, the same teenage black girl who had previously been called out decided she didn’t want to be in line anymore, so she backtracked and ducked under the railing again to leave.

The white guy cried, “Are you going to yell at her too?? Are you going to treat us equal??” and I was like, “Guy you are NOT even trying to passive aggressively make this a RACE issue, on JUNETEENTH no less.” I wanted to point out that she already BEEN called out the first time around, but then he was already moving past me in line by then. It was super annoying though. I get it, no one wants to be called out but you can’t fucking stand there and be pissed that someone is doing their job. I wish more park employees would do this shit and then maybe less people would be brazen enough to line jump!!

Anyway, I won.

BABY. The main reason why we came back later in the day was because we wanted those sweet, fine Phantom night rides, boy-o.

Chooch is the worst. His pose is sooooo fake, just so you know.

NOAH’S ARK SELFIE. The family in front of us took their picture here too and Chooch was like, “NO” before I even said anything, lol.

LOL Father Henry living his best life eating some type of meat food.

Henry rode Sky Rocket without us because we wanted to wait for the front.

The ride crew that day was sooooooo obnoxious but I loved them. Chooch 100% did NOT. When we came back, the main guy was like HOW WAS THAT RIDE and I was the only person who screamed, lol. He gave me a shout out though!

I just want to give a shout to Phantom. We rode it so many times and just straight-up marathoned it once the sun went down. I swear to god I don’t remember it ever running this good but this bitch HAULS ASS this season.

OK, I swore that I wouldn’t write another Kennywood novel, so I’ll end this by saying that it was a really great Sunday evening and so far this season has reinvigorated my love for Kennywood. I was falling out of love with it over the last several years but it’s got my attention again. It still has a lot of flaws, but I have faith. (Bringing back the old train scenery could win some points!!!)

Oh shit, one more thing! The musical performers that evening was a coverband called THE GEMSTONES, literally after I spent the last week working on a GEMMING PROJECT. It was like the universe taunting me re: GEMS.

“Do you think they hand-placed each gem on their outfits?” Chooch mumbled.

Chooch was bitching about wanting to play mini-golf and it got me thinking that I haven’t putt-putted around Sunset Golf in years – maybe 10! It’s always been one of my faves so I declared that we should do this on Saturday. Apparently, this was an open invitation because when we rolled up, it was so crowded that they had someone directing traffic in the lot.

That’s a hard pass.

I promised Chooch that we’d go back on Monday. Henry had to work so I billed it as a MOMMY AND CHOOCH DAY which garnered SO MUCH excitement from surly Chooch, as you can imagine.

I just want to say that i didn’t forget how awesome Sunset is but they have somehow gotten even more awesome with the addition of a bunch of clandestine water features. Maybe they were there last time but I surely don’t remember.

This might seem unbelievable to some and I swear this isn’t Opposite Day, but Chooch and I actually got along swimmingly! Like, we had FUN. And only marginally hated the mom and her kids in front of us who were soooo slow and even when our progress was halted for a solid 5 minutes when my ball got stuck in one of the Rube Goldberg-designed obstacles and Chooch had to go ask for a new one, we still managed to catch up to them.

Ok maybe chooch was also a little annoyed because I was kicking his ass and even got two holes in one.

“Wow, they really phoned this one in,” I said before both of us ended up furiously scribbling in a 7 after giving up.

The stance of a WINNER.

You guys, we had a really fun time! You can tell because m smile is real and not Henry’s favorite forced grimace thing.

Then we were going to eat lunch at the nearby Blue Line Diner but it was CLOSED so we found a place down the street in Bethel Park called PATSY’S PLACE and I think we may have eaten there once a long time with Tommy and Jessy?

I loved that each table had rando’ coffee cups. Mine was Christmas ducks! And our waitress was soooooo personable and exuberant. When I asked for coffee and waiter, her eyes widened and she gushed, “Yeah! Of course!” and she called us dears numerous times too which was cute because I’m pretty sure she was much younger than me.

Chooch and I both got grilled cheese – he ordered for me and said, “But she’ll have tomato on hers” and made a “I know, gross right?” face. We got to choose our bread and I loved that – it’s so rare these days! When she said “rye,” I was like I WILL STOP YOU RIGHT THERE, I WANT THE RYE.

My only issue with this place was that it was $$$. First of all, our drinks were both $3 which seems like a lot, the grilled cheese was $7.99 (!!!) and the fries were extra!!! Our bill was $30!! Hey Patsy, you ain’t Melt!

Whatever, the food was decent at least and the service was great. I overheard our waitress telling another table that she just came back from her honeymoon (Key West, in case you care) and I was like AW I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING but then I didn’t get a chance.

After I paid, I said to Chooch, “OK hurry. HURRY HURRY HURRY” and he was like, “what why” so on the way to the car I told him that I write a note on the check congratulating her on her recent marriage and Chooch cried, “No, you didn’t! WHY? You’re so embarrassing! Now we can never come back here!”

LOL.

On the way home, I showed him where I used to live in South Park and he was like, “Cool don’t care” until he saw that there’s a 7 Eleven at the end of my old street so that got his attention.

(Literally can’t believe it’s still there, never been remodeled, and still smells EXACTLY the same. America, please tell me why 7 Eleven is so Elite in Korea and Japan – for good reason – but ours are decrepit and full of old hot dog stench??)

Anyway, we had to stop because Chooch has numerous store apps that he loves to use like they’re games and the 7 Eleven app is one of them. He was like, “WE HAVE TO GET ICED COFFEE HERE” which I knew would be disgusting but this was CHOOCH AND ERIN DAY so I guess I was going to get a taste of how modern teenagers live their lives. As I was trying to doctor my cold brew to make it semi-palatable, Chooch appeared next to me and said, “OK let’s go, I paid” and I was like, “But I’m still getting my coffee, how did you pay” and he was like, “I did mobile pay” and I was like, “HOW DO THEY KNOW WE’RE NOT STEALING” and so he showed me how you go over to the mobile thingie and scan the QR code and I was like, again, “HOW DO THEY KNOW WE’RE NOT STEALING.”

Ugh, I’m so old sometimes when it comes to all these new ways to pay. He has to help me use Apple Pay every time, to the point that if I’m alone, I panic and just pay with my regular credit card.

Then we came home and he disappeared to play some game and then went to the gym and visited his old McDonald’s and I barely saw him for the rest of the day. But at least he penciled me in for the morning/afternoon! And we didn’t fight once!

And: other leftover thoughts.

Phantom Pheenin’

I’m a broken record, bigly, but my appreciation for Phantom’s Revenge somehow grows every year. Maybe it’s just because the more coasters I ride, the more obvious it becomes to me that this beast is ELITE. Like, God tier. You might say that this is my home park pride talking, but find me any seasoned coaster enthusiast who does not come off this ride shocked and awed.

Plus, it’s visually delicious. The purple repaint they gave it over the offseason is stunning. I legit cannot come to this park without taking a ton of pictures of it.

The station got a refresher too! I love the Phantom station so much because it’s always uber casual in there and the ride crew is always poppin’ off.  How can you not be stoked to ride a coaster when the ride crew is energetic and high-fiving everyone?! And maybe this is the origin of my being so impatient with ops at other parks, because the crew on Phantom is so efficient. When they have two trains running, it is a well-oiled machine. (This isn’t to say that Kennywood as whole has great ops because some rides have super questionable crews, lol ugh.)

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These two guys were my favorite!!

I think we rode it about 7 or 8 times on this day and it was absolutely glorious. Backseat is my bestseat but we did sit in the front one time and I was reminded of how stellar that one is too but if we’re being real here, there is no bad seat on this bad boy. Sit anywhere, you’ll fucking love it. That second drop feels like it will never end and it actually scares me sometimes. And the bunny hills at the end will eject you so far out of your seat that it feels illegal. I have been saying that for years and it makes me laugh when I watch enthusiasts’ reviews on YouTube because they ALL SAY THE SAME THING.

The park wasn’t very crowded on this particular Sunday so it was a station wait at worst, walk-on at best. There was one time when we were in the back and came back to NO ONE WAITING for that seat so I cried, “cAn We StAy On?!” and the guy nodded.

“Oh….thanks,” Henry mumbled, re-fastening his seat belt. He loved it though, lol. This day of Phantom rides came close to rivaling the BEST experience I ever had on Phantom.

Here’s Phantom cruising past Thunderbolt and the Turtles.

Speaking of the Turtles…

I always like to ride the Turtles because it’s the only ride of its kind left in America (in the world, even?). It’s just so much fun and you get great views of Phantom and Thunderbolt.

The ride operator was this young guy who was oozing moxie & enthusiasm. 100% the kind of person you want operating this adorable family ride! He was doing the whole, “Scream if you want to go faster” routine and the kids were just eating it up. The best part was when he announced that it was the last time it was going to be going around and he wanted everyone to yell, but then it ended up going around one more time. Henry and I were in the front of the line when this happened, and after the ride finally came to a stop and the ride op walked past us to unlock the exit door, he said to us, “I overshot it,” and we cracked up. Then, instead of letting us on, he was like, “Let me go look at the book real quick because I can’t remember when she said to hit the brakes….” and we were like, “OK do you what you gotta do, my guy.” When he came back to open the gate for us, he continued to explain the braking sitch.

“The book says to start braking when the first turtle reaches the garbage can, and that’s what I did…” I wasn’t sure why he was confiding in us but I was cool with it. We sat in the last turtle, directly across from the control booth, so when he walked by to go inside, he called out to me, “Are you an enthusiast?” I wasn’t sure if this was a trick question and to be honest, sometimes enthusiasts can be super snobby and entitled, so I said, “Um, kind of!”

“I could tell by your shirt,” he said, and I remembered that I was wearing Chooch’s Diamondback shirt from King’s Island. I was originally wearing my Steel Vengeance shirt but I spilled coffee on it right before we left the house that morning so I had to change! Either way, I’d have been called out for being a thusie, lol.

Once the ride started, Henry was like, “Oh god, he loves you” and I don’t know why because I wasn’t really giving him much to work with by way of conversation. However, when he said to scream you better believe my lungs went hog wild!

When the ride stopped, he said something else to me and I wasn’t sure what it was so I just chuckled in response which is my go-to reaction when I didn’t hear what someone said to me. The next thing I know, he was saying, “I’ll show you the controls if you want, come on!”

Just like that!

In this scenario though, it actually really was a “tour” of the control booth and not a sex thing.

He didn’t even unlock the gate for everyone! One of the people getting off the ride had to do it and he just let the other people continue to stand in line while he took me over to his control abode (Henry ditched me!!!). Granted, it was actually cool to peep inside there – I had no idea that it was all manual. He demonstrated how he has to turn the speed knob and that was kind of provocative. Then he walked me back over the exit gate afterward like a true gentleman and the people waiting in line were like, “Hello, the fuck is going on here? Can we ride the Turtles or nah?”

LOVE HIM.

Henry was waiting for me and just smirked. “Wow, you’re lucky Chooch wasn’t there. He would have been PISSED,” he said, knowing how Chooch hates it when I get attention.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m texting him about it right now,” I laughed.

LEFTOVER KENNYWOOD PICTURES

I just really can’t stress enough how wonderful of a day it was at Kennywood with Henry. I mean, it’s rare to have a bad day there (unless you go on a Saturday, which sucks no matter what amusement park it is because, Saturdays…) but I think the older I get and the more parks I visit, the more I truly appreciate Kennywood (um, I almost typed “Henry” instead, what a Freudian slip!) I mean, no other park has a Noah’s Ark, for Christ’s sake!

Legit one of the best walk-thrus in the world.

I do wish Kennywood would get some more flat rides though. I mean, they removed 4 last year (brought back one though!) so they owe us. I wish they would rebuild Le Cachot which burned down in the 90s – it was a great classic dark ride with old-school pretzel cars. I hate hate hate Ghostwood Estate or whatever it’s called because shooting rides are dumb and I preferred the dark ride that it replaced.

I’d also like to see them get rid of their dumb 4D theater that hasn’t been used for several seasons now. I’ve been there 3x so far this season and it doesn’t appear that they plan on using it this year either. Please get rid of it and give us something good!

Thunderbolt was a walk-on!

Steel Curtain is never a walk-on because they are forever running only one train (I’ve heard rumors that the elusive second train has made some appearances this season but I have now been there three times – we went again on Father’s Day! – and, bitch where?).

However, on this day we only waited about 10 minutes! The line ended at the bottom of the steps going up to the platform, and we got the second to the last row. This was Henry’s first time riding it and only my 5th, I think. It’s such a bizarre coaster. It’s not bad by any means, and I hesitate to use the term “underwhelming,” but I think because it’s so frustrating to get on which makes it hard to get multiple re-rides, that sort of makes it feel less great. But, everyone wants to ride this and not Phantom so be my guest – keep Phantom’s station empty for me!

(This sounds so negative – I do genuinely like this coaster, I just wish Kennywood would stop fucking with prototypes and spend their cash on something more reliable.)

I used to hate how it disrupted the Kennywood skyline as I have always known it, but I think I’m over that now. It’s pretty interesting to look at. Which is good considering how much time it acts as nothing more than a giant yellow lawn ornament lol.

Growing up with Kennywood as my homepark has spoiled me when it comes to wooden coasters because all of ours, for as ancient as they are, run relatively smooth. Most wooden coasters at other parks kill my back!

Our Racer actually races (*clears throat* Cedar Fair “Racers”).

He decided to play this after we started drinking our way through the Bites & Pints sample card.

He lost, lol.

Lil’ Phantom also got a repaint to match Big Bro!

View from the train – it makes me disgusted but I can never not look!

Literally the weirdest views at Kennywood but I wouldn’t trade it.

LOL I dunno how he had room for a square cone after eating and drinking all those samples. Golden Nugget is part of the process at Kennywood and it’s my favorite thing to eat at the park, so you know my stomach was at capacity when I politely bowed out of square cone’age.

(I did steal a bite of Henry’s though!)

Literally one of the best days I have ever had at Kennywood. I was worried that going to so many other parks would ruin Kennywood for me, but it still has my heart. I just hope this dumb company that owns it now continues to make improvements and fills those flat ride gaps! I would love to see them remove Raging Rapids which I haven’t seen running in the last several seasons (it’s completely drained and we’re almost into July at this point) and put in a new and improved Log Jammer. I miss the Log Jammer so much and I think that’s another reason why it’s so hard for me to fully and completely embrace Steel Curtain.

Sigh.

Anyway, don’t want to end on a low note. This day made me appreciate Henry a lot because he was such a good sport – he even rode Swingshot with me and that’s totally not his jam at ALL. It’s nice to be able to enjoy coasters and stuff with him even when Chooch isn’t with us!

P.S. If you have never been to Kennywood,  this is a pretty good review of Phantom’s Revenge, also – come to Kennywood and ride this thing! It is 100% worth the hype.