I literally cannot handle myself today. Chooch leaves early tomorrow morning and the tears are a’looming. I cried in the car on the way home from the Elizabeth farmer’s market and he wasn’t even with us (little brat slept until noon!!!).

I do not have the mental verve right now to post anything of substance so let’s enjoy some pictures of the phone I made Henry buy me last weekend at the Rocket in Ypsilanti. It was the candied pastels that originally caught my eye, but the fact that the handset actually works is what sealed the deal. I am the queen of dumb novelty purses! My collection is so stupid but I love each and every one of them, even though 90% of them are not very functional.

I love that it matches the kitchen and my fave windbreaker thing!

P.S. I also recently treated myself to that sweet ass Lost Boys art poster. Lost Boys is hands down my favorite movie and it’s the perfect addition to the 1980s Dream Kitchen.

I hate myself sometimes lol ugh.

OK, off to take Chooch to say goodbye to his grandma and then, if he ever decides where he wants to go, a Bon Voyage dinner. This seemed like such a great idea way back when we started filling out all the applications etc back in December but now that tomorrow is officially the day he leaves me for a month, I am having Big Regertz.

Hello muffins. I am a wreck over here with Chooch’s impending departure approaching – I have been trying not to think about it but this morning when I was brushing my teeth I started crying really hard LOL shhh don’t tell him.

So I’m interluding a bit to drop some of my current favorite Kpop jams on here because I need a feel-good moment or ten.

1. Aespa – Life’s Too Short

Did you know that Aespa is Henry’s current favorite girl group? Well, they are. Anyway, this is my lowkey anthem lately. Everything else sucks but inside my bubble, we’re keeping it light and fun. It is the only way I’m getting by.

2. Winner – I Luv U

WINNER IS BACK, BOY-O!!! I can stare dreamily into Jinu’s chocolate eyes again! This song just screams SUMMER PARTY to me. I love Winner so much! There is no one else like them. The high-pitched “YOU-oo” reminds me so much of a 1940s Disney cartoon. COMMENT IF YOU AGREE.

3. B.I. (feat.DeVita) – BTBT

I think it was during our Memorial Day weekend trip to Six Flags New England that this song came on a million times and I never tired of it ONCE.  I desperately miss him being in IKON but I love that he’s thriving on his own (like Wonho!!!). Support this man.

(This is SUCH a summer night vibe.)

4. Kang Daniel & Jessi –

I mean, this has been THE YEAR for both K.Dan and Jessi so it only makes sense that they’d collab. (I originally just wanted to type a line of fire emojis for this one.)

5. Nayeon – Pop

OK finally JYP has given this Twice powerhouse a solo. THANK YOU, JYP.  This is everything that made me fall in love with Kpop in the first place. Doesn’t this make you feel good?!

6. Hyolyn – Waka Boom

Literally my queen.

7. Sunmi – Heart Burn

Oh my fucking god the 60s aesthetic in this video and Sunmi’s signature breathy vocals and Pippi Longstocking-esque hair?! I’m screaming!! She’s touring this fall and it pains me to  know that I am probably going to have to miss it else Kpop bankrupts me.

8. Junny (feat. ChungHa) – Color Me

The synth, the vocals, the visuals, the CHUNGHA CAMEO (she has a comeback soon too – all of my GODTIER female soloists are coming back almost all at once and I could just explode!).

9. Seventeen – Hot

I mean this is a summer no-brainer. (Also I have been saying this since like 2016 but I really think this is the year that I learn all of the members of Seventeen, lol. There are only 13, and I know all 23 of NCT so I got this, right?)

10. Treasure – Jikjin

OK this isn’t super new but it has been in my head all week and it gets me so hyped. I need to learn all of their names soon-ish too Not a single bad track from Treasure! That’s YG for you, though. Quality over quantity, lol ha ha …. ugh. (VIPs and BLINKS know the pain of stanning YG artists.)

OK there’s 10 songs for you to maybe find one or two that appeals to you! Who’s shocked that there is NO NCT here?!?! Only because they don’t have anything super new, lol.

We already chatted about Saturday in Michigan, and then strolled down Monday’s memory lane together, so now let’s grab some beverages of choice and you can attend my riveting recap of our Sunday! But instead of starting with Sunday morning, let’s just skip ahead to the evening, after we left Michigan’s Adventure.

Because I literally cannot do a damn thing in sequential order!

The park was about 3.5 hours away from where we were staying – it was all the way up in Muskegon and Henry’s weird logic was to get one hotel near Bill and Jessi and stay there for both Saturday and Sunday night.

Someone had REGERTZ.

I mean, the park closed at 8 so even if we had stayed until closing, we would have gotten back probably by midnight. Not ideal but not awesome either. So we unanimously opted to leave the park around 5 which seems like it would have been a great idea except that I found a town called HOLLAND on Roadside America and now I desperately needed to go here to see the windmill. I figured we could eat there and found a place with veg/vegan options that seemed good and Henry agreed to this plan for some reason, even though it was kind of NOT ON THE ROUTE BACK.

First, we had to stop at a car wash because Henry parked the car under a tree at the hotel so the next morning one whole side of the car was straight Pollocked with bird shit and various tree droppings. GOOD ONE, HENRY. Of course, it was on Chooch’s and my side so we had to see it every time we got into the car, ugh. It was so gross that there was no way we could wait until we got home to deal with it.

Car washes will never not be fun for me.

Then we got to Holland and you will note that there are no photos here of Holland and that is because it was a SUPER POPULAR TOURIST TOWN and not the little rural knock-off Netherlands that I had imagined in my dumb head. It’s also apparently a college town and the people we encountered as we walked to the restaurant were YUPPIES and other types that were not our kind of people at all. These were the rich leisurelies.

And FORGET EATING IN HOLLAND if you don’t have a reservation anywhere. There was a line out the door for the place I originally picked and then we tried some hoity toity pizza place down the street and the hostess was like, “It will be an hour wait” and we were like, “K bye.”

I was so mad! And also the windmill I wanted to see was located on whatever “Windmill Island” is but Henry said it was closed and honestly, he was probably lying but I didn’t even care enough to fact-check his ass at that point.

Henry said we were going to be driving past Grand Rapids though and suggested that I look for somewhere there. I found a place called Stella’s that seemed cool.

Unlike DUMB HOLLAND, downtown Grand Rapids was not poppin’. At least, not the area surrounding Stella’s.

It was sometime after 7 by now, and Stella’s only had a 20 minute wait. I gladly put my name in and we walked around the block a little bit while Henry kept saying, “How far are we going?” the whole time and I was like “OMFG GO BACK IF YOU WANT” Jesus!!

Never pass up an opportunity to turn Chooch into a wallflower! LOOK AT THE PRESH FACE.

The back of Stella’s was way more eye-poppin’ than the front!

Anyway, I got the text saying our table was ready before 20 minutes even passed.

Yo, I loved this place so much IMMEDIATELY. It was my kind of vibe: a little bit of punk, a whisper of goth, a smudge of rockabilly. Plus, Thundercats was playing on the TV at the bar!!

I don’t think Chooch talked to us at all. He was being a big crybaby because he wasn’t hungry and we were like, “WELL WE ARE, SO.” He did end up ordering something thank god – I hate it when he pouts and doesn’t get anything because it makes me feel weird as a parent and as I’m typing this I am overcome with the photo album in my mind flipping through mental snapshots of all the times I pulled that shit on Henry, lolololololololol. My favorite was when we were at a diner in San Bernadino when we were out that way for Coachella in 2004 and I was feeling A BIG WAY like literally having a major body image breakdown,, that I refused to order anything and then LEFT HIM THERE after he ordered so he had no choice but to stay there and eat alone while I cried in the car in 110 degree desert heat so who was the real loser in this scenario, lol.

I got a salad with fake chicken. It was fine and didn’t make me sick, and in this season of my life (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT LOL), that’s all I can ask for.

Chooch got vegan wings and they were really good – they were super substantial, and he couldn’t finish them all so I was allowed to have one. Oh, and Anthony Green’s “Dear Child” came on at one point! Love when I can enjoy a decent meat-free meal in a cool bar with music of my youth(ish) playing. I have literally never heard an Anthony Green/Circa Survive song in public (non-concert venue) before. When I cried, “OMG DO YOU HEAR WHO THIS IS??” Henry paused for a second and then said, with REALLY SEXY CONFIDENCE, “Anthony Green.”

I mean, I can’t be surprised. I had been obsessed with Circa Survive since almost the beginning of our relationship right up until Kpop pushed everything non-Korean out of my heart.

I guess Stella’s is big on ice cream sandwiches because the dessert selection was 5 different varieties.

Henry and I got the chocolate peanut butter one to share and it was DELECTABLE. Chooch said he didn’t want one.

Bathroom selfie! See also: Not Dressed for Holland.

(Can I just note that these shorts are from some junior brand at JC Penney’s and literally the most comfortable shorts of my whole adult life? I had to finally accept the fact that me and jean shorts just ain’t happenin’ anymore and ever since then, I was able to open my world – and wardrobe – up to linen and other non-denim fabric shorts and I am finally able to be comfortable in the summer heat now! I have a bunch of different ones from the Kohl’s juniors department too because the options in the adult womens section AIN’T IT, SIS. Thank you. This has been Erin’s Fashion Corner.)

It wasn’t too notable in there, but the stall doors were mildly entertaining.

I came back to the table to see that Chooch now had an ice cream sandwich, all ready to go in a plastic container. He said he was going to take it with him and “eat it later” in the car but then had it 90% devoured on the one block walk back to our car, so.

What a great experience! I would hang out there all the time if I lived in Grand Rapids and had friends.

“You have us,” Henry said.

“Yeah as I was saying, if I had friends,” I re-emphasized.

Hilariously, we still didn’t get back to the dumb hotel until around midnight and the best part was that the ROOM KEY DIDN’T WORK ANYMORE so we had to wait for Henry to go back to the lobby and get it fixed, which was awesome because you know how when you’re past the point of regular exhaustion, your body starts to feel twitchy and like bugs are crawling inside your skin? Yeah, that was us Sunday night, waiting for the GODDAMN ROOM KEY.

It’s just been “July 4th” for me for several years now – just some rando’ day we get off work, yay. Nothing to celebrate unless you’re proud to be part of a nation of mass shootings, a nation that puts guns and fetuses over people, a nation that hates women, a nation with enough types of racism, prejudice, and homophobia that Crayola could create a new box of crayons with an ugly-ass shade for each.

I want to say something like “I wish I could back to a time when I was ignorant to how shitty America is and was able to celebrate the 4th of July the way commercials and extremely biased text books told me to” but really, I wish I knew back then what I know now.

ANYWAYZZZZZZZZZZ.

(Speaking of Wayzzzz, I got to be in control of Henry’s Waze while he was driving over the weekend and why oh why (oh did I ever leave Ohio – sorry, there’s my Back to the Beach quoting tic acting up again) is it so relentlessly funny to me to comment “Stan <insert any Kpop group here>” on traffic alerts?! Forever Fifteen over here.)

This was our last day in Michigan, and I was stoked because Jessi & Bill were available to meet us for breakfast before we headed out!

Chooch already didn’t want to pose for this but as I was taking it, I shouted, “MOMMY’S BIG BOY NEXT TO BIG BOY!” and he pretty much wanted to smash himself inside that hamburger and let Big Boy masticate him.

You guys, I took a picture this time!

Breakfast was fun! We don’t have any Big Boys left in Pittsburgh (that I know of, anyway) so it was fun being back in one. I got to tell the table about how Big Boy was the catalyst to my becoming a serial pen paller in the late 80’s/90’s (Henry has probably heard this story a dozen times at this boiling point in our relationship but he sat there quietly and indulged me). Back in the 80s, the Big Boy’s kids menu was its own separate entity. None of that getting a tiny after thought in the regular menu, kids got what was essentially an activity book with food offerings sprinkled in there somewhere between animal facts and a word search.

But on the back, that’s where it really got cookin’. Kids could submit their names and addresses for penpal purposes!! This was huge! I was always so excited to go to Big Boy so I could collect more kids to write to. Granted back then, our exchanges didn’t go much deeper than HI HOW ARE YOU IT IS RAINING HERE TODAY GOTTA GO TIME FOR DINNER! But it was an excuse to go to Kmart and buy Lisa Frank stationary! (I would later upgrade to better stationary stores, don’t you worry.) To this day, I associate Pirates baseball games with summer nights, laying on the floor of the living room and writing QUALITY CONTENT on unicorn’d paper while my dad watched the game on TV and summer bug sounds droned in from the window screens.

I REALLY miss the 80s a lot. Like, everyday a lot.

Eventually, Big Boy published MY name and address in one of the menus! It was like, my crowning glory as a youth. Maybe even greater than winning first place in a coloring contest in Mrs. Zombek’s 1st grade class.

(I hung on to that for YEARS….)

(….and clearly am still clinging.)

Eventually I graduated to the “cool teen years” of penpalling, where one would order address labels that would also include pertinent penpal-attracting stats, like your age and a hobby or two. I had one set that I remember vividly probably because I’m pretty sure I still have some and must have recently uncovered them, but they had Marvin the Martian on them (inexplicably – I was never actually into that??), said that I played tennis, and NO PREPS OR POSERS PLZ.

I mean, duh.

These came in handy for sticking inside SLAM BOOKS, which were tiny booklets started by one person who would put their info in it, send it on to one of their penpals who would also add something, and etc etc etc until the last page would get filled and that person was responsible for sending it back to the creator. I *lived* for these.

All of this was just the gateway to the real BIG BOY (not sorry) of penpalling, which was PRISONER PENPALS. Man, those were the days (as I shuffle through today’s mail and see that my death row pen pal has written to me).

Where am I going with this. Help me, I’m trapped in my head again.

OK I face-slapped myself back to present day. After our waitress asked us for the 57th time if we needed anything else, we felt that perhaps it was time to get rolling before she came back with the lunch specials.

I was overly excited that Big Boy had Korean won on their wall! Chooch actually pointed it out first, ugh, gotta give credit where credit’s due, I suppose.

I wanted to try and snag a stranger to take a full group photo for us but literally no one was coming or going. So Henry was all, “OH DARN, I GUESS I WILL JUST DO IT.”

Jessi & Bill are literally on the super short list of my favorite people of all time, no exaggeration, and I am so happy that we got to spend some time with them. I was sad to leave BUT they said that they might be able to come to the pie party (oh shit did I tell you, dear blog, that we’re having a pie party again after five years?? More later) in September so I’m not allowing myself to get too emo over here.

My favorite thing about them is that they’re not just friends of mine and Henry’s – they’re Chooch’s friends too! They have been in his life since he was like, 2, and he freaking adores them so much. Plus, they brought out his pleasant side all weekend and he was willingly telling stories and just being overall decent. I wanted to scream out, “There’s the Chooch I know and love!”

Don’t worry, as soon as we pulled out of the Big Boy parking lot, he was suffocated by all of our annoying traits and general parent-ness, so all was righted in our world again.

Sigh.

Jessi sent me their versions of some of the photos taken on Saturday and I’m cracking up because I hadn’t originally noticed the sign that says NOBODY PUTS BABY ON A UNICORN!!

OMG I loved this store and this day so much.

LITERALLY THE BEST PEOPLE YOU WILL EVER MEET.

Then we drove home with very little drama – no big fights, etc. Even though the three of us in a hotel room is usually cramped hell and I am dying for personal space fifteen minutes in, I really love our road trips so much. I’m glad that Henry was so agreeable when I was like, “Hey we should visit Jessi and Bill, and oh yeah, while we’re at it, we could also just pop right on up to Michigan’s Adventure…” and by “pop right on up” I mean drive an additional 3.5 hours, but sure why not!

Look forward to the Michigan’s Adventure recap here soon, or don’t! Dread it, even! I don’t care!

(Just kidding, I do care. I want everyone to look forward to my dumb blog posts. Wah.)

Henry and I were both off on Friday and I thought would be nice to have a FAMILY BREAKFAST since Chooch will be leaving for Mexico soon and I just want to cram in as much family time as possible, so sue me!

I chose Cafetano in the strip and apparently I was the only one who thought it was good – the guys just thought it was ok. I had a croissant with guava jam and it was actually more delicious and substantial than I expected but, and hear me out, it felt like more of a treat/snack than a breakfast? Like when you’re on vacation and sightseeing and stumble upon a cafe at a non-meal time and decide to get a big pasty, it’s not your lunch or anything, it’s just a random timed non-meal feeding?

That’s how this felt to me. A mid-morning vaca treat.

But yeah. We’re such horrible terrible mean parents, taking our son out to breakfast GOD FORBID. You’d have thought we were taking him to forcibly donate all of his Pokémon shit to the nearest landfill.

Don’t worry, we did eventually take the big baby home.

More Adventures In “All Three Of Us Are Home Together” Land:

I tagged along with Henry and Chooch who were walking to get a haircut for Chooch because his mop has gotten very unruly.

Chooch: Why did she have to come with us?

Henry: She needs steps.

Chooch: Couldn’t she just walk the other direction?

Apparently I’m annoying?!!?

Anyway, this was another reason, same day, for Chooch to act like we’re the WORST PARENTS. I guess we should let him starve in his bedroom growing locks to rival Crystal Gale. Who knows. I try not to poke the bear.

LOLKIDDINGILOVEIT.

*****

Well, in other news, Henry and I just finished the last episode of Stranger Things tonight and I am wrecked. IYKYK. Back to work tomorrow, and of course it’s my in-office day when I’m exhausted from a long weekend of traveling and fun, with swollen puffy eyes from all the crying I did over Stranger Things. Chooch came running downstairs when he realized we were watching it, to confirm that I was crying. He was satisfied with his discovery.

Hello from Romulus, Michigan! That’s where are hotel is but we spent most of Saturday with our good pals that we haven’t seen since…2018???…Bill & Jessi at their house in Westland.

Just for perspective, Jessi gave me a photo of Bill & Chooch from the first time we met them IRL:

I think this was 2008?? Pretty sure Chooch was 2!

PARDON THE TYPOS: I’m writing this in the car, FYI

The drive up was rather uneventful – it only takes about 4 hours and it went by pretty fast surprisingly!

We got to Bill & Jessi’s around 1pm, hung out with their canine crew – Mabel, Zeke, and Priscilla! – and then went to lunch at Red Apple, my only request! They took us here twice in the past and I just really imprinted on the unchanged 1970s dark wood paneled interior.

I realized as we were paying that I didn’t take any pictures while we were there! No photographical evidence of my grilled cheese or the super ingenious table divider that can be lowered if you want to join the booth next to you (I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!) because I was too busy explaining NCT to Jessi and internally exploding with excitement over hanging out with them again after all this time!

Never passes up the toy machines.

True words!

Then we went to Ypsilanti, which I’ve never been to before and didn’t even know how to pronounce until yesterday. We went to a street that had some cool shops and sort of had a Pittsburgh’s Southside vibe. There was so much I wanted to buy at the Unicorn store but settled on a furry shark journal – really stoked about it because I have been wanting to start journaling again and now I have a good reason.

I regret not asking someone else to take this so that Jessi could have gotten in this one with us – I failed to take a single of them and Bill yesterday! I am off my social snaps game, thanks COVID.

Oh god, when Jessi said I would love the Rocket, they were not kidding. I wanted everything!! I settled on a bunch of candy (they had salty Dutch licorice!) and a telephone-shaped purse that has a WORKING HANDSET! It connects via Bluetooth to your cell phone. Henry was so terrified when I found the locked case of novelty purses but I eventually wore him down (my wallet was in the car!) and he “let” me buy it.

Even Bill was like “WHAT THAT IS AMAZING” upon learning that it could be used as a real phone. Henry needs to lighten up and find his joy I think.

I was annoyed though because they had BTS Funko pop figures or whatever and I was like DO U SEE WHAT I MEAN, EVEN HERE! because we had been bitching to Bill earlier about how BTS has ruined a lot of the fun for us. Bill understood and validated my borderline hipster breakdown because it’s happened to him too obviously with other music though! And same with me too, for example Henry and I saw Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance when they played reallllly small venues and now you hear their music at like, sporting events basically.

ACTUALLY one time a few summers ago I was walking past our baseball stadium and heard BTS playing there!! Ugh I had forgotten about that and now I’m annoyed all over again lol.

Accidentally stumbled upon a rock store which had me tempted to start collecting again like I used to in elementary school when the mall had a dork store and my grandma let me buy this starter collectors box of rocks and I was all in for a few weeks like YEAH BOY I COLLECT ROCKS NOW but then never added to it.

Anyway, there was so much I wanted to buy here! And they have staff on hand to turn anything you buy into custom jewelry and that was ultra appealing to me but of course I didn’t see then sign on the door until we leaving. Meanwhile, Henry sat in a chair by the door and gave no fucks whatsoever about Chooch’s and my cries of “buy this for me!” echoing across the store. He is literally the worst.

Whatever the rest of us had a grand time touching every single rock for sale.

Next door was a new age-y shop where Jessi bought tarot cards and Chooch was looking for a Sobek statue and being generally weird and getting uncomfy over the Mother Earth statue.

I told him I wasn’t buying him anything because his room is a pig sty and whatever we bought him would just be usurped by clutter anyway.

Then we went down the road to Depot Town for some oddity store action (I wanted a Slimer painting but it was $1100 and I’m not that much of an art connoisseur; I settled for $10 sunglasses instead) and dinner at Maiz!

The chips & salsa were muy bueno! I dunno if that’s right but I can say it in Korean with more confidence upon request.

Probably bitching about his bike. Chooch is always having bike issues his whole life no matter what bike it is and always blames the bike or Henry even though it’s clear to the viewers at home that this is a CHOOCH PROBLEM.

Vegetarian trio of tacos! Everyone was stuffed afterward but I whispered psychically to myself, “I could go for some ice cream, shrug.”

After dinner, we parted ways so that we could check into our dumb hotel in Romulus and get screwed over at Dunkin’ (they had no cold brew or iced coffee – I hate mobile ordering because it never tells you that!) and then went back to Bill & Jessi’s for some puppy playtime and Jackbox action.

Henry is the worst at games. His name was just “Henry” because he is uninspired. My name was Taemin’s Unni ;)

We played for hours and it was a hilarious time but also alarming when I realized how inappropriately genius some of Chooch’s contributions were. I mean, the first time he ever played Cards Against Humanity was also at Bill & Jessi’s and I think he was like 7 or 8 so he learned early at how to be the absolute worst human when playing these types of games lol.

We called it a night at midnight because we have three hours of driving this morning to get us to Michigan’s Adventure, otherwise I’d have guzzled another cup of coffee and settled in for more opportunities to be repulsively irreverent, my forte.

We are going to meet up with them again tomorrow morning for breakfast before we leave and I am going to have to make sure some group picture action happens at that time because I clearly shit the bed on that yesterday!

I’m one of those people who suffer through buyer’s remorse with the littlest of purchases. The number of times I’m returning items of clothing that I could technically consider a necessity but also regret spending the money on is actually quite ridiculous – ask Henry, he’s the one who always gets stuck making the return lol.

But with concerts, I’m always willing to make the splurge. I do have to be pickier with Kpop though because seeing kpop shows ALWAYS involves a road trip. Pittsburgh sucks. Unless it’s a Korean classic rock band, then maybe Pittsburgh would book them. Because I live in a shit city, there have been tons of kpop concerts I’ve sadly had to pass on (like Twice – I would have loved to have seen them again since I only saw them briefly at KCON 2018!). And I have been admittedly also holding out bigtime for NCT127 to announce a US tour (I mean, congrats on the DOME TOUR guys that’s fucking amazing but can you come back to the US next please??) because I am prepared for them to TAKE IT ALL.

However, I haven’t seen a Kpop concert since November 2019 (Super M!!!) and have only been to one other non-kpop concert since COVID Days.  So I got tired of waiting and made the unilateral decision to buy tickets for me and Henry to see Stray Kids in Newark.

The tour had originally sold out pretty quickly but another Newark date was added so we got tickets for that one – and even then, it was slim pickings and exorbitantly priced even for our so-so seats. But I have genuinely liked Stray Kids since their debut (saw them at KCON 2018 too) and honestly had zero REGERTZ after completing the transaction. In fact, it was the opposite – I felt light and GIDDY.

And as it got closer to the date, I felt even more giddy! I forgot how fantastic kpop concert anticipation is! Chooch had the opinion of taking the second ticket but when he learned that the show was in Newark, he said, “Nope. I’m good.”

Because Newark sucks. Hard. Almost every Kpop concert I’ve gone to has been there, ugh.

We ate dinner nearby at Urban Vegan and then walked over to the Prudential Center where an unorganized frenzy of lines had already formed. Henry was like WHAT IS THIS and I was like “welcome to Kpop concerts, Gramps!” It wasn’t nearly as bad as KCON at least, where Chooch and I were seriously afraid we’d miss the start of the show because it took so fucking long to get inside. This wasn’t MUCH better though because people were just crawling through security, literally acting like it was a lazy walk along the bayou and not an obstacle to overcome before getting inside the arena. OMG, the shit that people try to bring in, like sis – you’re going to a concert not a goth sleepaway camp! Leave the spikes and backpacks full of WHO KNOWS WHAT in the car??

I mean, staff was walking up and down the sidewalk when we were still outside, yelling out everything that wouldn’t be permitted inside, and yet —

Anyway! We eventually got through because I didn’t have a purse and Henry left his spiked collar in the hotel.

Then we stood in line for merch and made friends with the people around us. Everyone kept trying to look behind the curtain into the seating area because there was all kinds of screaming happening and us seasoned fans were like “they are definitely not on stage yet” because it wasn’t 7:30 yet (name a big concert that actually starts on time) and the fact that the screaming was happening in waves told me that they were probably just flashing photos of Stray Kids on the screens to get the crowd stoked. I was not falling for this fire drill because I wanted to buy a T-shirt before they sold out just like the lightsticks!

Made it to our seats about 15 minutes before the show started. Everyone around us was grand. No beef with any of my section mates!

Our view wasn’t too bad considering we were trying to be somewhat frugal! Oddly, no one in the rows below us stood up not even once, so Henry The Old was super into that.

I posted this picture on Instagram and someone was like “sorry Henry didn’t have fun” and first of all, he did though? Well, as much fun as his Old Man Heart allows him to have. But second of all, there is literally no band in the entire world that will elicit any type of happy, energetic, exuberant reaction from Henry. He is HENRY ROBBINS, King of Showing Nothing. President of the Frowning Nations. Leader of the Ambivalent Army.

(Not BTS Army lol fuck outta here.)

As expected, they opened with Maniac and I was SUPER STOKED! The relentless screams around me were giving me so much life and energy and being under the same roof as these 8 stupidly talented guys had me losing my mind!

Whatever these blow-up leg thingies were, they were extremely startling! I didn’t even notice them being blown up!

I was internally exploding when they performed God’s Menu!!!! I really think this is my fave SKZ jam.

Literally the only “uhhhh” part of the whole evening was when they left the stage and it was “GAME TIME” – a video played on the screens and anytime the camera landed on someone in the crowd, they had to replicate whatever pose one of the Stray Kids was making in a picture. That part alone had me wishing I had a big hat to hide under, but the second game was even worse because it was a CHOREO game and I was like HOLY SHIT IF THIS FUCKING CAMERA LANDS ON MY UNCOORDINATED ASS, ISTG….while at the same time I was praying for it to choose Henry, lol. We both made it out unscathed, thank god. Henry was like I DO NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT and I was like WELCOME TO KPOP WHERE YOU’RE EXPECTED TO ENGAGE AND PARTICIPATE. There was a very small window in my life where I would have been ok with this, and that was probably ages 14-19.

So…standard kpop stan age, haha.

Henry’s review of the Stray Kids concert: He was surprised that he knew most of the songs but only knew the names of the songs if they put it on the screen, he thought that they talked too much (lol that’s every Kpop concert, Gramps!), and he thought someone else was Felix (the only member he knows) until halfway thru the show 😂

He looks blank in all these pictures but he swears he “watched it all” and that it was “good.” His favorite song is Thunderous and he insists on singing the wrong lyrics in spite of my corrections, like a total dad. 😆

Anyway, this was a big deal because as I previously mentioned, usually when I go to Kpop concerts, Chooch goes with me and Henry just drops us off and sleeps in the car or explores the local grocery stores of whatever city we’re in, haha. Henry does like Stray Kids but is not really into the concert aspect of this lifestyle so it was kind of a big deal to get him to go.

There was another dad in the row in front of us. I asked Henry afterward if it looked like he was having fun and Henry cried, “He left for like a full hour!”

I’ve never been great at remembering the set list but I looked it up and this seems accurate for any Stays out there who desperately need to know:

1. MANIAC
2. VENOM
3. Red Lights (THIS KILLED ME DEAD, HOLY SHIT, THE ROPES!)
4. Easy
5. ALL IN
6. District 9
7. Charmer
8. Back Door
9. Lonely St.
10. B Me
11. Side Effects
12. Thunderous
13. DOMINO
14. God’s Menu (THIS MIGHT BE MY #1 BUT IT’S SO HARD TO CHOOSE)
15. CHEESE (SOOOO INTO THIS PERFORMANCE LOL)
16. YAYAYA
17. ROCK
18. Waiting For Us
19. Muddy Water
20. Silent Cry
21. Hellevator
22. TOP
23. Scars
24. Double Knot
25. TA
26. Victory Song
27. MIROH (THIS SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE “GIVE ME FIVE THAILAND” KPOP WORKOUT ROUTINES!)
28. Star Lost
29. Haven

I know I’m missing crucial information but I will come back and edit this as needed. I just really wanted to get it off my plate while it was still fresh from the oven that is MUH MIND and also because we’ll be gone all weekend. I’m really trying to be better at writing in this thing in a timely manner instead of waiting like 3 weeks to recap a trip to an amusement park or whatever.

The only bad part of this whole day was afterward when we had to STAND IN DOWNTOWN NEWARK for nearly an hour trying to get a Lyft or Uber back to the hotel. But other than that, what a beautiful night. I didn’t even hate our hotel room. And now I stan SKZ even harder and would certainly consider myself a legit Stay at this point!

Hey ‘sup guys. Here’s a little dump of pictures and things. I’ve been feeling so uninspired lately and lethargic, which I’m sure has nothing to do with NEWS FATIGUE. I know I’m not alone when I saw that what I really really want is to lay prone in a cool, dark room for several days without the ability to think about anything. I just feel so stressed out – not with anything in my DIRECT life – but with, you know, everything else. I hate it for all of us.

I’m sure this has so many meanings on top of meanings with more meanings stuffed into hidden pockets (OMG remember those Kangaroo shoes with the pockets in them?!?), but last night I had a nightmare where someone that looked like Michael Myers but I think was supposed to just be a generic killer kept coming after me every day as soon as the sun went down, so it was literally like Groundhog Day where I had to keep fighting for my life. But in this particular “episode” (which of course was set on Gillcrest Drive, where my mom’s house and my Pappap’s house are), I was running and running from this asshole, and I had gauze or Ace bandages wrapped around my torso. Finally, I was SO SICK of running and peeing my pants in anticipation of being hunted that I said out loud, “I can’t do this anymore, I’m just going to let him kill me.”

o.O

Ugh.

So, here’s some shit that I want to get on here for prosperity, etc.

• Henry was on the news several weeks ago! I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this yet. But this one day, he had just come home from work and some broad was knocking on Hot Naybor Chris’s door. No one was home, so she came down into the driveway and asked Henry if he knew that his neighbor was involved in A HIT AND RUN the evening before. Henry was like, “Um, not to my knowledge….?” and then she asked him if she could ask him some questions, at which point the CAMERAMAN popped out of nowhere and Henry was so annoyed. You guys know that our street SUCKS BIG TIME, but the weird thing is that HNC’s wife Ruth wasn’t really involved in the type of hit and run that the news was portraying it to be. I mean, when we found out, we assumed they meant that she was crossing the street and got hit by a car, but what actually happened according to her was that she was pulling out of the driveway and some car came flying past and clipped the front of her car. She’s fine and her car just has minimal damage but it was jarring enough that HNC called the city or somewhere and said that we need speed bumps on our road. They recently installed some at the far end of our road in a spot that doesn’t even need them but OK cook on, we have like monthly accidents here especially in summer.
  • Before I post the vid, I also want to mention that the bodiless voice you hear in the news report belongs to Chooch’s nemesis “The Witch,” who used to yell at him all the time when he was younger, and in my eyes this was karma from all the shit HER kid used to put me through when he was a kid and I first moved here! HE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND ROBBED ME (OK it was just a bunch of CDs but still!!) when he was like 10!!!! Waaaay worse than Chooch and his friends playing in her dumb yard but OK.
  • Henry said that before the news lady started interviewing him, she was freaking out because BUDDY THE SQUIRREL was sitting on the bistro, eating peanuts in all of his casual splendor and she was just so stunned that he was completely unbothered by her presence. Henry said she took pictures of him but if she were a true fan, she would have asked him for a statement too. The news could be so much more light-hearted!!
    • This happened RIGHT AFTER we told Blake that one of his “babysitters” was letting the kids play on the sidewalk a few houses up, and that person threw a fit but sorry for giving a shit about the safety of children. Our street is a nightmare and cars have wrecked onto the sidewalk plenty of times since I have lived here. So, cook on.

THE NEWS ARTICLE

CLIP OF HENRY:

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• We went to Kennywood AGAIN Sunday evening because we had some samples left over from our Bites and Pints card. It was really humid on Sunday and there was hardly anyone there. But some of the rides weren’t running and it just had an overall strange vibe. Still, we had fun. The highlight was making friends with a couple from Texas who were enthusiasts in the middle of a coaster roadrip! Kennywood was #5 on their route – I think they were doing 11 overall.
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  More than we have ever done! The record for us so far is 8 and we might break that next summer when we do the Nordic trip with Coaster Crew. (Fingers crossed – we secured our spot but with the unpredictability of airlines and COVID, who the fuck knows). Anyway, it was the first time that we got to talk about RMC with people IRL! It all started because Henry was wearing his Velocicoaster hat (not an RMC…) and the dude was like, “Was it great?

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  ” and then they said they were recently in Florida and rode Iron Gwazi but didn’t make it to Universal and the mere mention of Iron Gwazi had me popping off. Anyway, that was fun and I was jealous that they were in the middle of a trip even though we just had ours in April, I’m never satisfied!! Anyway, here are some pictures.

One of the ride attendants on the Racer told me she liked my shirt – it was my KCON 2017 shirt so I was super happy and Henry was like, “omg.”

Apparently this was Henry’s first time riding the Wave Swinger at Kennywood?!

Golden Nugget mirror selfie.

I had my sleeves rolled up and one slipped down before I took this picture and I didn’t care enough to fix it but then as soon as I posted it on IG I felt the need to explain myself because there is always someone who has to ask the dumb Qs you know. Always someone tryna nitpick. WELL I BEAT THEM TO IT THIS TIME.

• Henry and I have been babysitting his grandkids on Wednesdays but yesterday we just had the youngest, Milo, and I was excited because I never get to really hang with him since the two older ones are always like “ERIN PLAY WITH US” and milking me of every last drop of creative energy I have in me. First of all, he is a Big Fan of my house, so thank you Milo for appreciating my funhouse. And second of all, wow he is such a mild kid! Waaaay easier than 16-year-old Bitchy McCrybaby who came barrelling into the house whining about his bicycle woes and I really wish that I had started a tally of all the arguments he’s had with Henry re: his bikes over the years because it’s A LOT and they stress me out so bad. Like, fight about something new please, omg.
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• Also I had to laugh because we took Milo for a walk to get ice cream on the boulevard and some of the regulars were doing little double takes like “where did she get that baby” lol.

• Sheetz selfie on the way home from Newark yesterday – I think this is the big Sheetz in Altoona. I love the bathroom in this one! The green tiles make me happy. Anyway, I can never pass up a Sheetz selfie op but also I wanted a picture of me in my STRAY KIDS Maniac shirt lol.
• Speaking of kpop it’s pretty hilarious how people who mocked me when I first got into kpop in 2015 are now suddenly totally immersed in it, like, thanks, I accept your non-existent apology lol. Too bad these people missed out on the best years of kpop when they were too busy making fun of every picture I posted of G-Dragon instead of actually being open to learning what I liked about it. I thought I was being overly sensitive about this but then I mentioned it to Carrie a few weeks ago when we saw each in real life at work and she agreed that it was fucked up and Carrie will tell me if I’m being a baby so THERE!!

• Dumb Henry is finally getting some more of my Cure stuff framed, he is so slow and dumb, as previously mentioned. Anyway, I really like lilac frame DONT YOU. Not like you’ll be able to notice it anyway in the moody Cure nook.

I feel like I had more to say but I guess not so now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna watch more of the Umbrella Academy so chooch will stop trolling me for being a slow series watcher.

This month has been ugh and yay. All at once, at times. Drama, depression, fun times, lots of crying, cracking up on roller coasters – it’s been a ride. Bring on July.

좋은 아침 여러분! Henry and I just left the house, destination: Newark (ugh) for Stray Kids (yay!). Figured I’d combine some weekend pics with a LiveBlog because Henry is being grumpy gramps and ignoring me.

When the weather is nice, I like to leave the front door open (much to Henry’s chagrin) so that the cats can watch the birds.

Breaking: we’re in Murrysville and henry just pointed out some auto body shop that he just got an ad for on Instagram and I openly mocked him because WHO CARES and now he’s crying about how this is why he doesn’t talk lol aw. Oh well.

9:52am: Finally made a Sheetz stop for breakfast OMG I was dying.

Oblig Sheetz Selfie.

In more weekend news, Henry finally framed his big shot Father’s Day gift LOL.

Not only did I save that part for him, but the size of the picture ended up being weird so he had to MAKE his own frame. Even better! But look at how great it looks on the wall!

I started cracking up though thinking about the future when Henry and I are both dead and Chooch is like “I don’t have room for this shit” or more likely his partner is like “You’re not bringing this shit in our house” and this picture among others ends up in Goodwill lol.

Me-n-Drew! She’s my best friend. We chill with the squirrels together every day.

Aside from ANOTHER Sunday evening trip to Kennywood, the only other memorable thing that happened was that Onion Maiden had a ramen pop-up. I got Dan Dan noodles and a matcha Eddie for lunch on Sunday and it was miraculous.

I love Onion Maiden.

In Today News, it’s 11:10 and we are still in Pennsylvania – Altoona to be exact, according to Henry. So far we have only stopped at one Sheetz but I have a feeling that will change soon.

12:12pm: (1212!!!) We stopped at Sheetz but nothing of note happened until we got back on the road and a bug flew in Henry’s ear! He’s being such a baby about it and I’m like OK but you’re ruining the song that I’m listening to (“Round and Round” – NCT U).

5:27pm: OMG what a day. I was AWOL after my last update because I was watching/listening to the SURPRISE EDITION of the January 6 Committee hearing – WOW. Thoroughly riveting (not being sarcastic) and then we got to our hotel in Newark at almost 4 but the lobby was a clusterfuck of anxious Stays (Stray Kids fans Duh) trying to check in because the stupid hotel’s system was down and they had a backlog to get thru. It was awful. Finally got checked in after nearly an hour of waiting for our name to be called like we were in the DMV – wasn’t even air conditioned!!

There was only one annoying person – some businessman who kept trying to cut the line and the people at the desk kept yelling at him. Finally the one woman was like “Sir all these people are waiting to go to a concert so they need to get checked in also, please wait your turn” and I was like YEAH, SUIT.

Get back in line.

Now we’re in an Uber with a driver named Isaiah who has not said one word to us. He’s taking us to Urban Vegan which is right by the Prudential Center.

Yo, we ate at Urban Vegan before the concert and it was legit. Why can’t Pgh have places like this?! You know I always go for the vegan chicken sandwiches, and I got plantain as a side. Henry got the jerk bbq on a biscuit with coleslaw and sweet potato fries. Everything was excelsior.

Now it’s 11:22pm and we’re in an Uber heading back to the hotel after a fantastic Stray Kids concert. I missed live Kpop so much and now I feel alive also our Uber driver is huffing madly at the traffic and it’s making me….Uber uncomfy, so I’m signing off.

Oh wait! Two girls who were in the lobby of the hotel waiting to check in at the same time as us got an Uber right before ours came, literally right where we were standing and we also saw another older couple from the lobby when we were walking to the Prudential Center after eating dinner. Small Newark.

Really throwing myself into these Jimmy-jams lately (that’s what my cats call their fave songs).

• Woosung- Phase Me

Woosung has one of the most distinct and interesting voices not just in Kpop but all pop.

• Youngjae – Sugar

My Got7 bias <3

• Wonho – Crazy

Here‘s some live Wonho action – he is THRIVING.

• Stray Kids – Circus

I’M SEEING THEM TOMORROW!!

• Kang Daniel – How We Live

A big feel-good Jimmy-jam and we all need to take a moment to feel good these days. I’ll do a girl group / solo one soon!

Blog, this was the worst / most disappointing Asian Read-a-Thon I’ve had since I started in 2020. I only read 12 books and a lot of those didn’t do it for me. I will make this quick.

1. The Night Shift – Alex Finlay

Right off the bat, the readathon was off on the wrong foot. I had run out of time in April to read this book and didn’t want to return it to the library so I flipped through the pages and saw that one of the characters was South Asian. Boom, Asian rep. A stretch, but I allowed it. (He was also pretty much the best character too, in a book full of cardboard cutouts.) The premise of this book sounded awesome (a thriller that starts off at a Blockbuster in the 90s) but the execution was just sloppy. Characters were flat, and I barely remember it at this point. I gave it a 3 on Goodreads but more like 2.5.

Blockbuster deserved better than that.

SO DID THE ASIAN CHARACTER.

2. Grass – Keum Suk Gendry-Kim

Growing up American with a shitty history curriculum, I didn’t learn about Korean comfort women until I developed my own interest in Korea as an adult and saw firsthand all of the memorials and statues around Korea when I visited. This graphic novel details the true experience of a woman who was sold into Japanese enslavement during the Japanese occupation of Korea and it is, needless to day, harrowing, graphic, infuriating, and nightmarish. The stories of these women need to be heard and this is a good starting point.

This is one of the comfort women memorials we saw in Paju, South Korea.

3. Fiona and Jane – Jean Chen Ho

A series of vignettes about two Taiwanese American friends. I liked some stories better than others but I’m always here for a coming-of-age tale. I loved the cover a lot and of course was happy any time there were Korean references which is pretty much every book nowadays it seems.

4. Tokyo Ever AFter – Emiko Jean

Look, I needed a YA palate cleanser, OK? This book was a delight. Princess Diaries but make it Japanese. I LOVE books that are set in other countries, especially east Asia, and this delivered interesting cultural references and made me want to revisit Japan in a big way.

5. Arsenic and Adobo – Mia P. Manansala

6. An Emotion of Great Delight – Tahereh Mafi

7. Popular Hits of the Showa Era – Ryu Murakami

YES BITCH. Japanese horror is my jam and this was one of the best books I read in May, and the whole year. It was so gross and violent and HILARIOUS, the characters were wild, the whole book was a dumpster fire in the very best possible way. It was a fucking RIDE. I loved this so much, screamed, “OMFG” numerous times throughout, and then laughed like a maniac when I finished it, like I had just gotten done hanging out with the funniest friend I have. I really felt like I was in this book.

It is very graphic though and there were a few moments when I had to put it down because I was feeling it.

I’ve also read In the Miso Soup by this author which I really liked, and also one of the sickest horror movies I’ve ever seen was based off his book “Audition,” so I have a good track record with this guy and should really try to read more from him.

8. Dava Shastri’s Last Day – Kirthana Ramisetti

OMFG die already. That’s all, that’s the review. One star, hated everyone.

9. Ayesha At Last – Uzma Jalaluddin

Billed as a modern-day Muslim Pride and Prejudice and it’s exactly that. I really enjoyed. Main characters that you really felt good about rooting for, eye-opening cultural lessons, and just a GOOD love story. I needed this after that Dava shit show up there. (Also this cover is gorge.)

10. Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning – Cathy Park Hong

Solid five stars. This is a must-read. Part memoir, part history lesson, it’s a beautifully-written collection of essays that every American should read, regardless of race, to have a better understanding of the minor feelings that come with growing up Asian in America.

11. Joan is Okay – Weike Wang

This was a weird, quirky little book. It’s weird to read books that are already referencing COVID, but I thought that this one did it well when that time came. I thought the writing was excellent and definitely need to read “Chemistry” soon.

12. Dial “A” for Aunties – Jesse Q. Sutanto

A bunch of high-strung Chinese-Indonesian aunties trying to cover up a murder, solve an un-related crime, and work a wedding all at once? This book was so slapstick, well-paced, with fleshed-out characters that pop off the pages. It’s so over-the-top and completely implausible, but that was the intent and it works. I will definitely continue on with this series because I need more aunties! (Highly recommend this as an audiobook – the narrator is excellent and brought the aunties to life!)

We should be celebrating the start of summer, planning ice cream dates, lazily bingeing the new season of Umbrella Academy. But instead…this. Anger. Frustration. Fear. Panic. Grasping at our basic human rights as they’re stripped away.

See also: what it’s like to be American in the 21st century, where guns are more protected than women.

Enjoy the pretty ice cream cone picture because I have nothing else to give today. :/

Oh wait, silly me, I do have one other thing to give: MY MIDDLE FINGER TO SCOTUS.

We had already decided a few days prior to Father’s Day to go to Kennywood that evening for some night ride action. Originally, we were going to try and eke out a day trip to King’s Island but that’s a lot of driving and Henry didn’t have the luxury of having the next day off like Chooch and me. So he made the executive decision to ax that idea.

It actually turned out for the best because now that we’d be home most of the day that Sunday, Chooch and I were able to finish that stupid gem art project in time to present it to Henry while it was still Father’s day and not Labor Day.

(I originally said Flag Day but that happened a week before Father’s Day lol who knew?)

Plus, by the time we gave Henry his dumb gift, I was READY to go to Kennywood. I was like, “SET ME FREE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” Could not wait to get out of the house.

This will mostly just be photos of FAMILY TIME because I’m getting super wrapped up in mortality lately and want to remember every single moment I spend with these two OMG I’m so panicked about TIME.

We all squeezed on the Kangaroo! I do want to say one thing, that while I love the new LEWK, etc of the Kangaroo, the new queue is unfamiliar and makes me feel disoriented.

Keny Kangaroo: Bites & Pints Edition. I hate that Chooch is basically the same height as him now??

Chooch wanted to do the Bites & Pints thing that Henry and I did last week even though he’s picky as hell but he swore that OMG it wouldn’t be a waste, and Henry was like, “OK fine you and I will share it” but then they ended up not using it all so GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK TO KENNYWOOD THIS WEEKEND.

Deciding what he wanted from the German booth.

OK this wasn’t on the Bites & Pints thingie but I wanted to get this ever since I saw Coaster Spot eat these when they were at Kennywood earlier in the season: FRIED MUSH at Rogue BBQ. This whole fucking basket was $8 (actually the sign said $7 but the impersonable broad who took our order charged us an extra dollar) and so filling that I only ate like 4 and gave the rest to Henry and Chooch. They were GOOD though and I would get them again.

Some older lady also ordered them and tried to return them because she “ordered the fried mushrooms and these weren’t mushrooms.” LOL, she was That Day Old when she learned that mush isn’t mushroom’s nickname.

Dude this guy at Ghostwood Estate was NOT fucking around with people. He called out every single person who ducked under the railings instead of walking all the way around and he was NOT happy about it.

He called out this one young black girl who blatantly ignored him when he told her to go back and walk the whole around. Then he called out an older WHITE NERD GUY who was SO OFFENDED at being told he was breaking the rules when he was, you know, breaking the rules, and stamped his way all the way back through the empty queue like he was told. As he passed the line attendant, the same teenage black girl who had previously been called out decided she didn’t want to be in line anymore, so she backtracked and ducked under the railing again to leave.

The white guy cried, “Are you going to yell at her too?? Are you going to treat us equal??” and I was like, “Guy you are NOT even trying to passive aggressively make this a RACE issue, on JUNETEENTH no less.” I wanted to point out that she already BEEN called out the first time around, but then he was already moving past me in line by then. It was super annoying though. I get it, no one wants to be called out but you can’t fucking stand there and be pissed that someone is doing their job. I wish more park employees would do this shit and then maybe less people would be brazen enough to line jump!!

Anyway, I won.

BABY. The main reason why we came back later in the day was because we wanted those sweet, fine Phantom night rides, boy-o.

Chooch is the worst. His pose is sooooo fake, just so you know.

NOAH’S ARK SELFIE. The family in front of us took their picture here too and Chooch was like, “NO” before I even said anything, lol.

LOL Father Henry living his best life eating some type of meat food.

Henry rode Sky Rocket without us because we wanted to wait for the front.

The ride crew that day was sooooooo obnoxious but I loved them. Chooch 100% did NOT. When we came back, the main guy was like HOW WAS THAT RIDE and I was the only person who screamed, lol. He gave me a shout out though!

I just want to give a shout to Phantom. We rode it so many times and just straight-up marathoned it once the sun went down. I swear to god I don’t remember it ever running this good but this bitch HAULS ASS this season.

OK, I swore that I wouldn’t write another Kennywood novel, so I’ll end this by saying that it was a really great Sunday evening and so far this season has reinvigorated my love for Kennywood. I was falling out of love with it over the last several years but it’s got my attention again. It still has a lot of flaws, but I have faith. (Bringing back the old train scenery could win some points!!!)

Oh shit, one more thing! The musical performers that evening was a coverband called THE GEMSTONES, literally after I spent the last week working on a GEMMING PROJECT. It was like the universe taunting me re: GEMS.

“Do you think they hand-placed each gem on their outfits?” Chooch mumbled.

Chooch was bitching about wanting to play mini-golf and it got me thinking that I haven’t putt-putted around Sunset Golf in years – maybe 10! It’s always been one of my faves so I declared that we should do this on Saturday. Apparently, this was an open invitation because when we rolled up, it was so crowded that they had someone directing traffic in the lot.

That’s a hard pass.

I promised Chooch that we’d go back on Monday. Henry had to work so I billed it as a MOMMY AND CHOOCH DAY which garnered SO MUCH excitement from surly Chooch, as you can imagine.

I just want to say that i didn’t forget how awesome Sunset is but they have somehow gotten even more awesome with the addition of a bunch of clandestine water features. Maybe they were there last time but I surely don’t remember.

This might seem unbelievable to some and I swear this isn’t Opposite Day, but Chooch and I actually got along swimmingly! Like, we had FUN. And only marginally hated the mom and her kids in front of us who were soooo slow and even when our progress was halted for a solid 5 minutes when my ball got stuck in one of the Rube Goldberg-designed obstacles and Chooch had to go ask for a new one, we still managed to catch up to them.

Ok maybe chooch was also a little annoyed because I was kicking his ass and even got two holes in one.

“Wow, they really phoned this one in,” I said before both of us ended up furiously scribbling in a 7 after giving up.

The stance of a WINNER.

You guys, we had a really fun time! You can tell because m smile is real and not Henry’s favorite forced grimace thing.

Then we were going to eat lunch at the nearby Blue Line Diner but it was CLOSED so we found a place down the street in Bethel Park called PATSY’S PLACE and I think we may have eaten there once a long time with Tommy and Jessy?

I loved that each table had rando’ coffee cups. Mine was Christmas ducks! And our waitress was soooooo personable and exuberant. When I asked for coffee and waiter, her eyes widened and she gushed, “Yeah! Of course!” and she called us dears numerous times too which was cute because I’m pretty sure she was much younger than me.

Chooch and I both got grilled cheese – he ordered for me and said, “But she’ll have tomato on hers” and made a “I know, gross right?” face. We got to choose our bread and I loved that – it’s so rare these days! When she said “rye,” I was like I WILL STOP YOU RIGHT THERE, I WANT THE RYE.

My only issue with this place was that it was $$$. First of all, our drinks were both $3 which seems like a lot, the grilled cheese was $7.99 (!!!) and the fries were extra!!! Our bill was $30!! Hey Patsy, you ain’t Melt!

Whatever, the food was decent at least and the service was great. I overheard our waitress telling another table that she just came back from her honeymoon (Key West, in case you care) and I was like AW I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING but then I didn’t get a chance.

After I paid, I said to Chooch, “OK hurry. HURRY HURRY HURRY” and he was like, “what why” so on the way to the car I told him that I write a note on the check congratulating her on her recent marriage and Chooch cried, “No, you didn’t! WHY? You’re so embarrassing! Now we can never come back here!”

LOL.

On the way home, I showed him where I used to live in South Park and he was like, “Cool don’t care” until he saw that there’s a 7 Eleven at the end of my old street so that got his attention.

(Literally can’t believe it’s still there, never been remodeled, and still smells EXACTLY the same. America, please tell me why 7 Eleven is so Elite in Korea and Japan – for good reason – but ours are decrepit and full of old hot dog stench??)

Anyway, we had to stop because Chooch has numerous store apps that he loves to use like they’re games and the 7 Eleven app is one of them. He was like, “WE HAVE TO GET ICED COFFEE HERE” which I knew would be disgusting but this was CHOOCH AND ERIN DAY so I guess I was going to get a taste of how modern teenagers live their lives. As I was trying to doctor my cold brew to make it semi-palatable, Chooch appeared next to me and said, “OK let’s go, I paid” and I was like, “But I’m still getting my coffee, how did you pay” and he was like, “I did mobile pay” and I was like, “HOW DO THEY KNOW WE’RE NOT STEALING” and so he showed me how you go over to the mobile thingie and scan the QR code and I was like, again, “HOW DO THEY KNOW WE’RE NOT STEALING.”

Ugh, I’m so old sometimes when it comes to all these new ways to pay. He has to help me use Apple Pay every time, to the point that if I’m alone, I panic and just pay with my regular credit card.

Then we came home and he disappeared to play some game and then went to the gym and visited his old McDonald’s and I barely saw him for the rest of the day. But at least he penciled me in for the morning/afternoon! And we didn’t fight once!

And: other leftover thoughts.

Phantom Pheenin’

I’m a broken record, bigly, but my appreciation for Phantom’s Revenge somehow grows every year. Maybe it’s just because the more coasters I ride, the more obvious it becomes to me that this beast is ELITE. Like, God tier. You might say that this is my home park pride talking, but find me any seasoned coaster enthusiast who does not come off this ride shocked and awed.

Plus, it’s visually delicious. The purple repaint they gave it over the offseason is stunning. I legit cannot come to this park without taking a ton of pictures of it.

The station got a refresher too! I love the Phantom station so much because it’s always uber casual in there and the ride crew is always poppin’ off.  How can you not be stoked to ride a coaster when the ride crew is energetic and high-fiving everyone?! And maybe this is the origin of my being so impatient with ops at other parks, because the crew on Phantom is so efficient. When they have two trains running, it is a well-oiled machine. (This isn’t to say that Kennywood as whole has great ops because some rides have super questionable crews, lol ugh.)

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These two guys were my favorite!!

I think we rode it about 7 or 8 times on this day and it was absolutely glorious. Backseat is my bestseat but we did sit in the front one time and I was reminded of how stellar that one is too but if we’re being real here, there is no bad seat on this bad boy. Sit anywhere, you’ll fucking love it. That second drop feels like it will never end and it actually scares me sometimes. And the bunny hills at the end will eject you so far out of your seat that it feels illegal. I have been saying that for years and it makes me laugh when I watch enthusiasts’ reviews on YouTube because they ALL SAY THE SAME THING.

The park wasn’t very crowded on this particular Sunday so it was a station wait at worst, walk-on at best. There was one time when we were in the back and came back to NO ONE WAITING for that seat so I cried, “cAn We StAy On?!” and the guy nodded.

“Oh….thanks,” Henry mumbled, re-fastening his seat belt. He loved it though, lol. This day of Phantom rides came close to rivaling the BEST experience I ever had on Phantom.

Here’s Phantom cruising past Thunderbolt and the Turtles.

Speaking of the Turtles…

I always like to ride the Turtles because it’s the only ride of its kind left in America (in the world, even?). It’s just so much fun and you get great views of Phantom and Thunderbolt.

The ride operator was this young guy who was oozing moxie & enthusiasm. 100% the kind of person you want operating this adorable family ride! He was doing the whole, “Scream if you want to go faster” routine and the kids were just eating it up. The best part was when he announced that it was the last time it was going to be going around and he wanted everyone to yell, but then it ended up going around one more time. Henry and I were in the front of the line when this happened, and after the ride finally came to a stop and the ride op walked past us to unlock the exit door, he said to us, “I overshot it,” and we cracked up. Then, instead of letting us on, he was like, “Let me go look at the book real quick because I can’t remember when she said to hit the brakes….” and we were like, “OK do you what you gotta do, my guy.” When he came back to open the gate for us, he continued to explain the braking sitch.

“The book says to start braking when the first turtle reaches the garbage can, and that’s what I did…” I wasn’t sure why he was confiding in us but I was cool with it. We sat in the last turtle, directly across from the control booth, so when he walked by to go inside, he called out to me, “Are you an enthusiast?” I wasn’t sure if this was a trick question and to be honest, sometimes enthusiasts can be super snobby and entitled, so I said, “Um, kind of!”

“I could tell by your shirt,” he said, and I remembered that I was wearing Chooch’s Diamondback shirt from King’s Island. I was originally wearing my Steel Vengeance shirt but I spilled coffee on it right before we left the house that morning so I had to change! Either way, I’d have been called out for being a thusie, lol.

Once the ride started, Henry was like, “Oh god, he loves you” and I don’t know why because I wasn’t really giving him much to work with by way of conversation. However, when he said to scream you better believe my lungs went hog wild!

When the ride stopped, he said something else to me and I wasn’t sure what it was so I just chuckled in response which is my go-to reaction when I didn’t hear what someone said to me. The next thing I know, he was saying, “I’ll show you the controls if you want, come on!”

Just like that!

In this scenario though, it actually really was a “tour” of the control booth and not a sex thing.

He didn’t even unlock the gate for everyone! One of the people getting off the ride had to do it and he just let the other people continue to stand in line while he took me over to his control abode (Henry ditched me!!!). Granted, it was actually cool to peep inside there – I had no idea that it was all manual. He demonstrated how he has to turn the speed knob and that was kind of provocative. Then he walked me back over the exit gate afterward like a true gentleman and the people waiting in line were like, “Hello, the fuck is going on here? Can we ride the Turtles or nah?”

LOVE HIM.

Henry was waiting for me and just smirked. “Wow, you’re lucky Chooch wasn’t there. He would have been PISSED,” he said, knowing how Chooch hates it when I get attention.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m texting him about it right now,” I laughed.

LEFTOVER KENNYWOOD PICTURES

I just really can’t stress enough how wonderful of a day it was at Kennywood with Henry. I mean, it’s rare to have a bad day there (unless you go on a Saturday, which sucks no matter what amusement park it is because, Saturdays…) but I think the older I get and the more parks I visit, the more I truly appreciate Kennywood (um, I almost typed “Henry” instead, what a Freudian slip!) I mean, no other park has a Noah’s Ark, for Christ’s sake!

Legit one of the best walk-thrus in the world.

I do wish Kennywood would get some more flat rides though. I mean, they removed 4 last year (brought back one though!) so they owe us. I wish they would rebuild Le Cachot which burned down in the 90s – it was a great classic dark ride with old-school pretzel cars. I hate hate hate Ghostwood Estate or whatever it’s called because shooting rides are dumb and I preferred the dark ride that it replaced.

I’d also like to see them get rid of their dumb 4D theater that hasn’t been used for several seasons now. I’ve been there 3x so far this season and it doesn’t appear that they plan on using it this year either. Please get rid of it and give us something good!

Thunderbolt was a walk-on!

Steel Curtain is never a walk-on because they are forever running only one train (I’ve heard rumors that the elusive second train has made some appearances this season but I have now been there three times – we went again on Father’s Day! – and, bitch where?).

However, on this day we only waited about 10 minutes! The line ended at the bottom of the steps going up to the platform, and we got the second to the last row. This was Henry’s first time riding it and only my 5th, I think. It’s such a bizarre coaster. It’s not bad by any means, and I hesitate to use the term “underwhelming,” but I think because it’s so frustrating to get on which makes it hard to get multiple re-rides, that sort of makes it feel less great. But, everyone wants to ride this and not Phantom so be my guest – keep Phantom’s station empty for me!

(This sounds so negative – I do genuinely like this coaster, I just wish Kennywood would stop fucking with prototypes and spend their cash on something more reliable.)

I used to hate how it disrupted the Kennywood skyline as I have always known it, but I think I’m over that now. It’s pretty interesting to look at. Which is good considering how much time it acts as nothing more than a giant yellow lawn ornament lol.

Growing up with Kennywood as my homepark has spoiled me when it comes to wooden coasters because all of ours, for as ancient as they are, run relatively smooth. Most wooden coasters at other parks kill my back!

Our Racer actually races (*clears throat* Cedar Fair “Racers”).

He decided to play this after we started drinking our way through the Bites & Pints sample card.

He lost, lol.

Lil’ Phantom also got a repaint to match Big Bro!

View from the train – it makes me disgusted but I can never not look!

Literally the weirdest views at Kennywood but I wouldn’t trade it.

LOL I dunno how he had room for a square cone after eating and drinking all those samples. Golden Nugget is part of the process at Kennywood and it’s my favorite thing to eat at the park, so you know my stomach was at capacity when I politely bowed out of square cone’age.

(I did steal a bite of Henry’s though!)

Literally one of the best days I have ever had at Kennywood. I was worried that going to so many other parks would ruin Kennywood for me, but it still has my heart. I just hope this dumb company that owns it now continues to make improvements and fills those flat ride gaps! I would love to see them remove Raging Rapids which I haven’t seen running in the last several seasons (it’s completely drained and we’re almost into July at this point) and put in a new and improved Log Jammer. I miss the Log Jammer so much and I think that’s another reason why it’s so hard for me to fully and completely embrace Steel Curtain.

Sigh.

Anyway, don’t want to end on a low note. This day made me appreciate Henry a lot because he was such a good sport – he even rode Swingshot with me and that’s totally not his jam at ALL. It’s nice to be able to enjoy coasters and stuff with him even when Chooch isn’t with us!

P.S. If you have never been to Kennywood,  this is a pretty good review of Phantom’s Revenge, also – come to Kennywood and ride this thing! It is 100% worth the hype.