Hello from a train traveling from Turku –> Helsinki. This morning was absolute chaos because Henry is literally the biggest dunce when it comes to traveling and single-handedly took everything I had planned for a half-day in Turku and set it aflame. It’s fine. Chooch saved the day as usual because he actually understands how various modes of transportation work.

But anyway, all of that is to say to that I really really really miss Coaster Crew and the organization that came with the trip. I know it can be better to travel outside of the confines of a tour group when it comes to flexibility but sometimes the convenience is unmatched.

Yesterday was our first day without the group and I was really feeling it. I miss them so much you guys. When we came back to the Sheraton after Gröna Lund on our last night, everyone kind of hung out in front saying goodbye and it was beyond emotional (well, not for Henry – he didn’t make any friends).

Here’s me and Pam in the luggage room at the hotel! She was hands down my fave person that I met. Real Barb Riley vibes from that one.

Then Tim and I made each other tear up twice – he said we’re a sweet family and in my head I was like “you must have missed the 728394 bickerings we had this whole time” lol.

After we got settled in our room, Henry and I walked to a pharmacy to get contact solution for me and fries for Chooch at McDs, then we went down to the hotel bar to hang out with Pam and Sherry, who were being hit on by some guy named Hans who wanted to go to Pam’s room to “exchange email addresses.” I was dying. Sherry had this look on her face like “STOP ENGAGING WITH THIS CREEP.”

Tim and several others were also hanging out in the lounge so I was really soaking up as much as I could. I hate saying goodbye to people! (I’m crying on the train now lol.) I have so much to recap once we get home in a few days and it is going to take so long and will 100% not do the trip justice.

I know some people might think it’s weird or a “waste” to travel for theme parks / rollercoasters but we had the best time, saw some crazy shit, made time for tourism, rode some bucket list rides, rode out the worst storm that the region had seen in the last 20 years when we were in Denmark (Storm Hans), survived a 13 hour overnight bus ride to Norway when the ferry was canceled, and did this all with so many nice/crazy/interesting people who I hope to see again one day. I will never regret taking a chance and signing up to do this trip, knowing no one from the group, having to take a loan out against my 401k to afford it because it was something that just felt worth it, and that turned out to be true.

I will never forget it. And it ended so fittingly with me and Chooch in the back row of Monster with Sam and Dewey, last train of the night, everyone on the train screaming “Coaster Crew! Coaster Crew!” when it came back to the station.

Ugh my goddamn stupid dumb heart. Ow.

There was a car show outside of our hotel this morning! I walked over to snap some photos for my car-enthusiast dad and was excited to see some Saabs because when I was a teenager, I wanted a Saab in the worst way because OJ Simpson’s daughter had one lol.

Chooch and I were kind of standing off on the side at first but some guy came over and said, “Come look, come look!”

Plus the trolley!

Also, I’m sad because this was the LAST BREAKFAST with the group. Pam sat with us so it was good. But now we’re on the bus back to Kolmarden for more ERT on Wildfire and people moved around again so it’s disorienting.

Today is Saturday I think. It’s currently 10:30pm and we’re unwinding in our hotel room in Norrköping Sweden after one ultra long day. First of all, we had to check out of the glorious Curiosa Hotel in Gothenburg after two wonderful nights, and be on the bus for a 6:20AM departure for a small park called Skarra Sommerland for three credits. We almost all passed out as soon as the bus left the hotel. I was mad because it was a new bus and it made me feel disoriented!! Some people changed seats and I didn’t approve. Anyway, we were almost to the park when Tim came on the speaker and said that he had found out via email THIRTY MINUTES before we were expected to arrive that the main attraction, the coaster we were supposed to have ERT on, was DOWN and they were trying to get a part from another park.

We still went because we had already driven out of the way for the +3 credits so we had to make the best of it. Then another coaster was down, plus a major flat ride. So we rode a spinning wild mouse and they opened some stupid flag ride in kiddie land for us. It was a let down but we all made the best of it. I was laughing because after we left there to go to Kolmarden, there was one part where the bus was swaying because the road was so rural and wonky and someone behind me said, “Wow this is the best ride we rode all day” and someone else yelled, “put your hands up guys!” This group is awesome.

I will recap that part of the day more thoroughly when I do the park recaps, but I wanted to share some pictures from the town we’re staying in tonight. It’s about 25 minutes away from Kolmarden (which we will be returning to tomorrow morning for 2 hours) and SO CUTE! It’s only our second legit European style hotel on the trip so far (ie not a park resort, etc) and I am awash in nostalgia from my childhood European trips!

First though we had to get up to the rooms and it was a huge cluster being such an old hotel because there were only two elevators and everyone kept piling in and setting off the WEIGHT ALARM so then only 3 people could go up at a time. It was a whole thing so when it was finally our turn, Henry went in with Mark and someone else so Chooch and I pushed our luggage in with him and said we would just go and find the steps. Wow, that was an ordeal – super hard to find.

We tried taking the steps when we left our room to go exploring, but Chooch took us out the emergency exit and set off the fire alarm. One of the younger guys from our group, Hunter, joined us a floor or two down and we were like, “Um what is that sound?” and Henry was like HE SET OFF THE FIRE ALARM and we were like, “UM, AWKWARD” so we ducked into an elevator and pretended like it wasn’t us, lol.

Views from our room:

I love this cutie room!

Our nighttime stroll was really nice (Henry might have a different opinion lol). Chooch kept saying he was bored but I really thought this town was very quaint and beautiful. I had never heard of it before, so thank you Kolmarden for not budging on a group discount and forcing Tim to find a hotel offsite.

We walked to a nearby grocery store because I needed saline solution (didn’t have any) and the cashier was so nice and asking us where we’re from and what we think of it here. Honestly? Fucking love it. Sweden in general has been chef’s kiss. Of course I don’t love it as much as SK (as in, I haven’t imprinted with it) but I definitely fell in love with it and can see myself already being desperate to return, ugh.

I’m super attached to the people in our group though, even the ones that I never talked to, and I am not ready to say goodbye tomorrow night. I’m happy that it’s only the first half of our trip that’s ending, but sad that we’ll be on our own starting on Monday. And also sad that we’ll be leaving Sweden on Monday, too!

It is going to take me months to recap everything. I even have been trying to record more video this time too because that is one of the many things I regret about our SK trips – I took barely any video.

Of course we all still have at least one argument a day (usually food-related or because someone is gaslighting) but I am generally very happy with how things have gone so far and I know I have probably said these words 894x here, on Instagram, in my handwritten vacation journal, Twitter, or out loud to anyone who will listen, but I am so happy we took a chance and put our faith in Coaster Crew and maybe spent more than we could afford, but it has been worth it so much for this experience, friendships, and memories! I’m so happy but also ready to cry, lol.

Even the parts of the itinerary that didn’t go as planned because of weather or technical issues haven’t been enough to ruin the trip or even the day. Everything has been an adventure. NO REGERTZ.

(Look at me writing this like it’s the end of the chapter. Still one more full day with Coaster Crew left! And five more days with just the Oh Honestlys, trying not to get lost in Finland and Estonia.)

Yooo, we arrived in Gothenburg last night around 9pm after about a 3 hour drive from Tusenfyrd in Norway.

Tim hooked us up bigly with three nights here at the Liseberg Grand Curiosa. I was actually really surprised when I saw that this is where we’d be staying because this is a brand new hotel and it is legit supreme. Actually, Tim has been hooking us up with every hotel so far – even when our “hotel” was the bus for one night – he went out of his way to make sure we were as comfortable as possible. Tim for President, honestly.

The Cure organized their own music festival one summer in 2004 and it was called Curiosa, so you know I love this place doubly.

Chooch’s private suite, lol.

I’m going to miss this hotel when we check out on Saturday, that’s for sure!

We all took showers since we were ripe after 8 hours at a park / 13 hour bus drive /8 more hours at another park / 3 more hours on the bus, and then headed up for a stroll around 10:30PM. Chooch and Henry were annoyed with me because I was being a crosswalk drill sergeant. Sorry but I don’t want to be Those People who jaywalk in another country!

We found a 24hour McDonald’s and decided to check it out. They had vegetarian and vegan options!! Chooch and I both got the McVegan.

Henry was being embarrassing with his ordering so we left him and went to get a table. Henry is literally the most embarrassing person even in other countries. Even just like, Canada. Embarrassing. South Korea was probably the worst though. Like when he would confuse “hello” and “thank you” and it didn’t even matter because he wasn’t saying any of them correctly anyway.

It was OK.

Right when we were finishing up, a whole group of the young “popular” guys from our group came in and I felt really bad for the McD’s employees at that point because this crew is wild and chaotic, lol. Some of them spotted us in the back and pointed and waved, so I waved back and of course Henry, who had his back to the door, was like “WHO IS IT??” because he always has to be part of everything. So then Chooch, Mr. “I Don’t Care About Anyone’s Names,” started rattling off the names of the people who walked in, ha.

Then we went to a convenience store for drinks. Literally one of the best parts of traveling!

We came back to the hotel around 11:30 and crashed. I cannot say enough how much fun this trip has been so far! Obviously the coasters are what we came for, but the people have made it so much better. I’m obsessed. I can’t believe I was so afraid that we wouldn’t make friends.

Anyway, we’re just chilling in our room after dinner, getting ready to back to Liseberg (our hotel is on park property) in a bit for more exploring, and then our ERT on Helix starts when the park closes at 11pm! I really wanted to do better at blogging while I’m here so I wouldn’t have a ton to post when I get home, but this is not working out very well because I have been so busy and then by the time we get to the hotel, I’m too tired to do anything but collapse! Not everyone’s idea of a vacation, but this is so my style. Gimme this over laying on a beach any day!

Hello from a Tuesday evening on the bus! A lot has happened but in an effort to keep up with my micro-blogging of this trip, today’s small word bundle will be about Idiot Chooch’s 130 feet free fall on Sunday evening. Tivoli Friheden has a SCAD tower which I did know about going into this but didn’t really think much about it until that day when Tim said that it was included in the park admission for our group if anyone wanted to do it. Chooch was like, “what is it, I’ll do it” and I was like “oh great. I am so excited for my son to fall off a 50m tower into a fucking net, every mom’s dream.”

Love that the only thing he really has to say about it is that he hurt his knee again.

In “Now” news, we are in the midst of an itinerary shakeup. Starting yesterday, the weather has been real rainy and windy. Yesterday was mostly just a rain issue and luckily all the rides were open, but unforch, the forecast for the next several days were bad enough Re: wind that the ferries canceled their service so our ferry for Norway scheduled for tonight was canceled. When we got on the bus after Djurs last night, Tim broke the news to us and told us that we have two options: scrap Tusenfyrd, or drive 13 hours overnight by bus.

It was so dramatic and started to get semi-verbally hostile between some guys up on the top floor of the bus (where we are) and then some guys started shouting the pros of keeping Tusenfyrd and honestly I was in favor of the overnighter too because I want to go to Norway. Anyway, Tim had to walk around while everyone covertly showed him their vote on their phone and it felt like Survivor, like someone was getting voted off the bus. There was an overwhelming majority for OVERNIGHT so that is what’s happening and there are APPARENTLY at least two people who are very unhappy about this and are planning on leaving us in Copenhagen. [Yes, we were all the way super north in Denmark but have to drive all the way back to Copenhagen, get a new driver, cross the bridge to Sweden (which could be an issue depending on how windy it still is when we get there) drive up through Sweden to Tusenfyrd in Norway. Not the greatest but at least we’ll still get there.)]

Anyway, after we left todays park, Henry made some dumb joke to the bus driver about “can’t you maybe just fly us there? Maybe if we got some wings?” And it was SO UNCOMFY. I asked him to never do that again, his weird “flirting with another professional driver” voice, ugh. Then we stopped at IKEA so Tim could buy us pillows and everyone ate in the cafeteria.

Oh just 70 people unexpectedly storming IKEA 30 minutes before they closed. That was interesting. But it was so nice of Tim to get us pillows!!

I am totally going out of order and have so much to recap here for my fairy tale lala imaginary friends, but I want to talk about all the shit that happened today to Henry that was not funny but also so incredibly funny that every time I thought about it today on the bus while mostly everyone was napping, I was trying so hard to contain giddy brays that my entire body was shuddering.

First thing this morning, Henry woke up on a mission to find a bank ATM before we left Copenhagen later that morning. Now, we were under strict instructions by Tim to be at the bus by 8:15 because we had to get an early start on the day due to traveling between parks. So he gets back and says, “Well, I can’t get to it because the street it’s on is under construction, I’ll just get to one later” and I panicked because we aren’t going to be in big cities after Copenhagen and we needed cash to give to Tim for the driver’s tip. Really not that big of a deal, but I hate how Henry is always putting shit off and not ever taking my advice, etc. So I got RULL irritated about this and Henry snapped, “FINE I’LL GO TO THE ONE IN CENTRAL STATION” which is like, maybe a 10 minute (15?) walk from our hotel. Now, by this point, it was nearly 7am and that’s when it was suggested that we head to breakfast.

“Should we wait for him?” I asked Chooch, who looked at me and then we started cracking up because why would we ever.

So we totally went to breakfast without him and then our new friend Pam came in and asked if she could sit with us, like she even needs to ask! I was totally saving the seat next to me for her, anyway. But here’s the THING, the day before, Pam and this guy Kevin from our group pretty much buddied up and spent the whole day together at both parks. “I guess they’re an item now,” Chooch murmured when they strode past us at Tivoli Gardens last night.

So after we sat down at a 4-top, Kevin came over with a glass of OJ and asked, “Mind if I join you?” I happily chirped, “Not at all!” and Chooch gave me this look like, “WHAT ABOUT HENRY” and I just shrugged like, “Oh well, you snooze you lose.”

So then Henry came in, got food before even coming over to our table, HOW PRESUMPTUOUS THINKING THAT HE HAD A SEAT, and then when he finally came over with his plate of morning slop, he saw that he didn’t have a seat at our table, mouthed THANKS and went and found a table behind us ALONE.

Kevin noticed this and said, “Oh no!” and I waved him off. “Oh, he’s fine! We told him we weren’t waiting for him.” Then Pam came back from getting a plate, did a double take when she saw Henry sitting alone and said, “You wanna sit here?”

“NO I’M GOOD,” he said, and then continued to sulk. I was almost in tears (the kinds generated from holding back laughter, don’t worry), but then Chooch was like, “Now it’s going to look like there’s family drama. This is how rumors get started.”

And I started cracking up even harder.

Don’t worry x2, after we had eaten and were just sitting around talking with Tim, Henry slithered up to our table and said MOVE OVER and scooted onto my side of the banquet seating. What a little bitch.

Then we went up to the room to get our luggage and I realized we only had TEN MINUTES until departure and Tim was very very very adamant about being punctual and said that you will get left behind if you’re not on time, and you’ll have to find your own way to the next park, understandably so.

I kept bitching about this because Chooch and I were all ready to go so Henry yelled JUST GO THEN so we left him, got our own luggage on the bus, and then claimed our seats for the day (same as yesterday because we’re suckers). Sadly, I saw Henry coming out of the hotel and said, “Damn, he made it” and then we started cracking up all over again.

We got to Bon-Bon Land. Had a great day. Then around 1:00PM we were chilling at the exit with Johnny (just another friend we made NO BIG DEAL), about to head back to the bus for our 1:15 departure when Henry realized he didn’t have his phone.

“Oh, did you not get it from the gift shop?” Chooch asked in a bored tone.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” Henry grunted.

“The gift shop at the end of the rapids ride,” Chooch said.

“WHAT RAPIDS RIDE,” Henry snapped.

“THE ONLY RAPIDS RIDE IN THE PARK??” Chooch clapped back. “You had your phone in my bag and I said, ‘why is your phone in my bag? I’m not carrying your phone’ so I was waving it in front of you saying, ‘Here take your phone, take your phone, take it.’ And you ignored me so I put it down next to the candy you were looking at.”

Henry: *NOSTRILS FLARE / VEIN PROTRUDES*

“It’s not my fault you didn’t pick it up,” Chooch said defensively.

“Oh boy,” Johnny said, caught in the middle of a typical Oh Honestly Family argument.

So Henry had to run (LOL ok that’s being generous – he speed-walked, kind of) back to the gift shop. Luckily, the park is very small, and Tim had said that the 1:15 departure time wasn’t strict for this one – we were actually leaving 2 hours earlier than scheduled because the park was so underpopulated that everyone was able to get their credits and still have time to do everything else.

“Should we wait for him?” I asked for the third time that day, and Chooch just started cracking up so we went back to the bus without him.

“He’s so embarrassing!” we both kept taking turns saying.

“What if he would have hit me in front of Johnny?” Chooch said, practically squealing with laughter.

“What if we have a reputation now of being That Family That Fought The Whole Time on the Coaster Crew Norden Adventure?” I laughed, but also I felt nervous about that too.

Back at the bus, most people were just standing around outside, talking. We saw Larry and told him what happened, but were trying not to bray like hyenas. Larry, however, was like, “OH NO! Did you let Tim know?”

We did not let Tim know but said that we would and then ran onto the bus in giggle-tears.

Thankfully (for us, because of embarrassment factors), we saw Henry walking down the sidewalk to the bus, and there were still A LOT of people who weren’t back yet so he wasn’t even close to doing the walk of punctuality shame. We saw him stop to talk to someone so Chooch ran out of the bus to see if he was able to get his phone. I’m watching from the upstairs window, and all I see is Henry pointing at Chooch while talking to someone then Chooch waves his hands and goes, “No no no” and starts telling his side of the story but I can see that he’s trying to not lose it and collapse into laughter. Then Chooch looked up at me and gave me the thumbs up that Henry was able to get his phone.

There were two people sitting a few rows in front of me (Robert and Dawn) and I was like, ‘They are probably wondering why I’m half-standing here, looking out the window and laughing alone at Henry and Chooch gesticulating wildly” so I had to fill them in and god only knows how many people know about this now.

I’m still laughing about this as I type this at 11:30 at night while Henry is snoring so loudly next to me which has sent Chooch to his breaking point (yo, I have to suffer through this every night at home!!)  so I suggested that we pretend Henry is a dead viking, put him in a boat, set it on fire, and push him out into the sea.

BECAUSE OUR HOTEL TONIGHT IS RIGHT ON THE WATER AND IT IS AMAZING. The sound of the waves is almost blocking out Henry’s animalistic snores.

This concludes a recount of Henry’s series of farty events.

P.S. the picture up there is a dog named Henry from Bon-Bon Land who is also the flatulent star of the DOG FART COASTER.

Hey guys! It’s Sunday and we’re on the bus leaving Copenhagen for the next destination. Yesterday was so much fun but exhausting. Here are some pictures of breakfast at the Tivoli Hotel and other assorted photos from the hotel. We sat with our new pal Pam! We met her on the first night at the hotel dinner and I felt so relieved because I was worried that I wouldn’t make any friends here! But it has been really great so far.

Anyway, on the bus yesterday, we mostly just listened to everyone around us talking until I heard someone behind us mention South Korea and T-Express. Chooch said he thought to himself, “Oh god, no.” I looked at Henry and said, “I’m going in!” Then I turned around in my seat and exclaimed, “I LOVE T-EXPRESS!” The one guy was like “….” but the cooler guy was open to my insertion and we started talking for a bit so that was fun! Then this morning I saw the other guy who was like “….” and I said good morning! And he just looked at me and kept walking. Chooch started cracking up and I was like, “wow that hurt” lol. Most everyone else has been very welcoming though!

Anyway, I will post more thoroughly when I have time. This trip has been very go-go-go so far and I haven’t even read any of my book!!

Oh wait, here are also some pictures of our after-dinner walk on Friday!

Christiansborg Palace:

Tivoli at night! We would spend the entire next evening there but this was a nice little sneak peek!

Ok, now I’m going to go back to being nebby on this bus ride. Justin is pummeling Josh with technical questions about ride attractions and it’s really interesting.

Hello just checking in to say we made it to Copenhagen in case anyone is tracing us for nefarious reasons, now you know.

It was such a long and shitty travel day. I don’t know how I feel about this city yet but I do know that I miss my cats, Air France is not great, and I am very cranky. I think I need to eat lots of vegetables.

Thank god tomorrow is the true start of this trip – two parks on tap! And we met the president of Coaster Crew in the lobby and he is very nice so I feel a little more calm about this. Our group dinner is in 30 minutes though so we’ll see if there are any bestie candidates!

Ugh, I had some July Wrap-Up Thangs that I wanted to cover before we leave tomorrow but I am feeling so chaotic in my brain today and it’s a wonder I even managed to get through the work day. I will be excited once we get there, but right now all I can hear is the blood rushing in my ears because I am so stressed. I guess that’s how we know there is a tiny bit of “adult” in me after all?

One of the things I wanted to talk about was meeting our new Australian manager (Sarah) who was in Pgh last week and this week. Wendy asked me to come into the office last Thursday to “meet her” but it was actually just a ploy to get me in there to actually do a casual presentation of the part of the process I’m involved in (big snore to everyone reading this, I know – no one wants to read about actual work stuff!) but honestly, it ended up being amazing. I met her immediately when I arrived (early, because I had to be in the conference room at 9am!) and we started bantering with each other like we’ve been old work pals for years.

Then we went to happy hour at McCormick/Schmicks after work and I know I say this every time since the pandemic, but holy shit, I appreciate my work people. So many of them are legit friends and it’s always a pleasure to see them in person! It’s been especially great getting to know Wendi-with-an-i, who was hired during the pandemic and has been an amazing addition to our motley crew!

However, I had three glasses of wine on a mostly-empty stomach and whoa nelly, I felt that shit later that night. I started to pass out while laying prone on the living room floor and Henry had to yell for me to get up lol. Then the next morning, I had a 7:30am appointment to do the wellness screening thing so needless to say, I was burping up regertz the whole way there.

Anyway! Sarah is actually leaving to go back to Australia tomorrow so I was like MAYBE WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER AT THE AIRPORT????

Right now, my mom and Henry’s mom are here to go to the church carnival with Chooch and his friend Zakk (of the Driving to School Everyday days) (that made no sense; my brain is..ow). Chooch had to HUG BOTH OF THEM and looked like he wanted to evaporate. Then Judy asked, “Hey, how’s Jen?”

“Janna,” Henry corrected while I stood there smiling, not offering any help because I love these exchanges.

“Yeah, Janet,” Judy said with a nod.

“JANNA,” Henry huffed.

Judy shrugged and said, “Jen, Jen” like it was some sort of tomato/tomahto situation??

Well, I guess that is all I have for now. I have to walk/run to CVS now to get some last minute things and then, I don’t know, hit myself with a frying pan. Piss out.

P.S. THE CHURCH CARNIVAL DJ IS PLAYING FIREFALL’S YOU ARE THE WOMAN AND I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. More songs should have flute.

I wish I hadn’t read some of these.

1. The Only One Left – Riley Sager

July started off so strong with this read!

My relationship with Riley Sager is COMPLICATED. The last two books were big misses for me (one was a miss right off the bat, the other one I LOVED until the WTF ending that made me hurl the book across our hotel room in New Hampshire) but this one 100% redeemed him for me. I actually found myself dying for free moments to pick this back up. Plus? That cover. Perfect summer horror-esque read. Lots of twists. Atmospheric. SET IN THE 80s. Dual timelines, too, if you’re into that.

Sorry, I was just staring lustfully at that cover again. Dayum.

Five stars, starting July strong.

2. Roomies – Christina Lauren

This was middle of the road for me. OK, pretty predictable, some strange storyline about a maybe-toxic best friend that I can’t remember if it even went anywhere? Not the meatiest, but it was a quick listen for my daily WALKABOUTS.

3. The Last House on the Street – Diane Chamberlain

OK, whoa. First off, I’m not a big fan of historical fiction and actually had no idea that this is what that was until I started reading it but it fucking TAUGHT ME SOME SHIT about the Scope Project in 1965 and got my blood boiling (I mean, if you read this and your blood stays at a cool temp, you might be a racist). I kept thinking that this was going to be some kind of thriller or have a supernatural bent, but when you base a story off of the sickening way black people were (ARE) treated in this country, you don’t need to deviate from reality, honey. Excellent writing. Five stars from me, Paul. I cried really hard.

4. Election – Tom Perrotta

I haven’t seen the movie adaption since the year it came out but I imagine the book was pretty similar even though I legit can’t remember anything about the movie aside from Reese Witherspoon’s character? It was OK. I was in between audiobooks and needed some AT THAT MOMENT for the walk I was about to take and it was fine.

5. Happy Place- Emily Henry

OK FOR GOD’S SAKE,  THIS BOOK FUCKING BROKE ME. Emily Henry can be hit or miss with me (never her writing!! But sometimes I just can’t connect to the actual story) but this was one grabbed me from the get-go, like a fucking hook in my heart, and never let up. I’m sorry, but she is so skilled at writing effortless, whippy, snappy dialogue to the point where I can watch these scene play out in my mind like Friends and Gilmore Girls merged to create one big epic world. My friend Megan said she thinks the writing is cheesy and I swear to god, it was the only time we have disagreed on books and I had to SMILE SWEETLY and politely disagree.

I am obsessed with Harriet and Wyn and need to read more about their lives. I need a spin-off. I need a TV series.

Also, the Last House on the Street also had a character named Win –  I can’t remember the spelling now but I thought it was weird that I was reading two books at the same time, each with a Wyn/Win.

AND THEY BOTH FIVE STARS SO I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT WAS A WIN/WYN.

BOOM.

6. Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six – Lisa Unger

This so bad, a real snooze. I don’t even want to recap it.

7. Chlorine – Jade Song

OK, this made me physically hurt. The gist is that a young swimmer is obsessed with becoming a mermaid and then eventually…well, just read it. This book was outstanding. And it’s Song’s DEBUT NOVEL, to boot. I’m excited to read her next one!

8. The One – John Marrs

This was all the rage on Booktube when it came out and I finally gave it a shot. Eh, overrated, in my opinion. Too many characters, and not a single one that I gave a shit about. I would cringe and groan out loud anytime a chapter featuring certain storylines would pick back up.

I just thought it was hokey.

9. Did I Kill You? : A Thriller Novel – Harper Shaw

OMFG can we start with the fact that “A Thriller Novel” is in the title? Scribd has this idiotic THRILLER NOVEL ranked high on some list, I can’t remember which list but I fell for it. OK, so tropey. It’s a story you felt like you’ve read 100 times. I just kept shouting, “WHO CARES.” Every character was fucking stupid. The MAIN CHARACTER was supposed to be some bigshot NYC detective but she was so clueless?!

Ugh, this was so bad.

10. The Spare Room – Andrea Bartz

Dude. After I read Bartz’s novel “The Lost Night,” I was so excited to read more from her. I checked this one and another of hers out of the library at the same, totally stoked, right? How is this same author. Was she struck on the head? In all seriousness, it felt like this was written by a completely different person and one with much less skill, at that. The story was sloppy, nonsensical, idiotic; but the writing was the worst part to me. I was cringing, I was eye-rolling, I was huffing in frustration. At one point, I started skipping entire chunks of chapters because it was tiresome.

The main character was P A T H E T I C. I hate that every chapter had a reminder OF THE PANDEMIC, FACE MASKS, QUARENTINE, PODS. Ugh, it was tacky and boring and I want my time back. I should have DNFd but I didn’t have anything else on hand to read at the time. I ended up returning the other Bartz book at the same time, without even bothering to glance at the first chapter. Byeeee.

11. Nuclear Family – Joseph Han

The son of Korean immigrants living in Hawaii returns to South Korea to teach, where he is then possessed by the ghost of his dead grandfather who is trying to use his grandson’s body to cross the border into North Korea.

There is a lot more going on than that, with a big focus on the family’s struggling deli, once made popular and famous by Guy Fieri. I loved this. I love when books written by Korean Diaspora authors include actual Korean words, and of course I love when I, as a non-Korean, recognize cultural references, etc. That being said, I saw that this book got a lot of mixed reviews on Goodreads, mostly from non-Koreans. I’m wondering if this is the sort of book that would appeal mostly to Koreans and that is why it was missing the mark for some. I kept trying to imagine reading this if I was not Korea-obsessed – would I still like it? I can’t be sure. Maybe not as much.

I did listen to the audiobook of this though and the narrator was wonderful. To me, it was a great book to cap off a month of rocky reads!

I have really been enjoying getting back into tennis, but something has been bothering me and tonight nearly pushed me over the edge. Allow me to don my (K)erin persona for a few minutes and rant the town red:

Chooch and I went to our local tennis courts after work today because we had TO DRIVE OURSELVES and I didn’t want to drive to my beloved Settlers Cabin courts on my own because you have to get on the parkway, etc blah blah. I don’t have the patience for that. So we went down the street to Moore Park, which has three courts. One of the courts was occupied by pickleballers, which was pretty annoying because there are actual pickleball courts there but OH NO they were full. I dunno, maybe you could just….wait for one of those to open up?

Whatever. I figured I could deal with it because there was an empty court between us. But then three BROS arrived with big ass “everyone needs to hear our hilarious banter” voices, brandishing their bullshit PICKLEBALL equipment, and claimed the court in the middle. I almost left within 5 minutes of their arrival after their stupid ass wiffle ball rolled onto our court while we were in the middle of a rally.

But we barely got to play last night before it started raining, and I truly didn’t feel like tooling around in the car looking for a new court, so I sucked it up and we kept on playing our real sport while the douchebag next door was whining loudly about how “the net is too high!” and “the blocks are too wide!” BRO, BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING ON A TENNIS COURT. LITERALLY NAMED AS SUCH BECAUSE IT’S A COURT MEANT FOR TENNIS.

I kept picturing the ringleader as Johnny Bananas from the Real World / The Challenge fame. Just a total LOOK AT ME I’M THE BEST d-bag.

The saddest part is that two people came with their tennis rackets and kind of hung around for a bit, waiting for a court to open up, but then they finally gave up and left. I would have been so pissed off if I rolled up to a tennis court, ready to blow off some work steam, and it was full of pickleball squatters. I feel like I would be too mad to leave, and I would have to do that thing I do where I smile really big and act like I’m ASKING NICELY but really I am SCREAMING LIKE I HAVE A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL ABOUT TO SHOOT OUT FROM MOUTH. It’s Henry and Chooch’s favorite version of me.

I mean, I was diagnosed with explosive anger disorder once upon a time.

Look, I’m all for people wanting to have a fun activity to do together and while I will never consider it a sport, pickle on, Dillbert. But do it on your own designated court. And if all the pickleball courts are taken at the location of your choosing, don’t usurp a tennis court. Go to a fucking old age home and see if they have a court you can use, you know? Or maybe give shuffleboard a spin. If you’re pickling around on a tennis court, you might as well just roll out a blanket and have a picnic on it, because you’re just wasting it. Go play in a fucking driveway.

OR BETTER YET, TRAFFIC.

Meanwhile, the people who were there before us were still there when we left after an hour (you know, because you’re only allowed to use the courts for an hour) and not a single one of them were even slightly sparkling with sweat. BECAUSE IT IS NOT A REAL SPORT!! Chooch and I get so drenched in sweat when we play, that our shirts always end up looking like they’re gradient.

Sorry. I’m trying to be open-minded about this but so far, every pickleballer encounter I’ve had has been aggravating at best.

Hey, it’s me on my 44th birthday. It’s been a pretty low-key day. Nothing from Henry as usual, got rained out on tonight’s tennis sesh, and didn’t do anything adventurous. But, don’t cry for me, Blogatina because we leave for vacation on Thursday so I actually sabotaged my own day by canceling the day trip that we were originally planning on taking to Cleveland for a SHINee 15th anniversary cup-sleeve event. I guess that’s the Lilliputian adult version of me living inside my head that made her concerns heard for once, like, “Bitch, why you about to spend $$$ on a roadtrip four days before you leave for a trip that you couldn’t afford?” And I was like, “OK Tiny Bitch, I hear you. God!”

Anyhow, here’s a quick recap of my birthday.

It started a few days later when Wendy gifted me with a pineapple purse at work on Thursday! I swear to god, some of my quirkiest purses are courtesy of WMM. She has her finger on the gifting pulse, that is FOR SURE.

Then yesterday, I stopped by Megan’s to check in on her cat while Megan and Eric are out of town and she left me birthday goodies! I took this picture of the Robert pendant she got me while I was still at her house as proof that I was already wearing this t-shirt – what a happy accident! She also made me a root beer pie like the one she made for the last pie party! Totally spoiled me!

This afternoon, Janna came over (HER MOM HAD TO DROP HER OFF BECAUSE JANNA LOCKED HER KEYS IN HER CAR YOU GUYS!!!!) and after we had a social hour where I tried once again to get her to identify Haechan from NCT, Henry drove us to Butterwood Bake Consortium which I haven’t been to in several years but always have the fanciest cakes with major tea party ingredient vibes. It was so hard to choose, but I went with a vegan blueberry cake with UBE BUTTERCREAM; Janna got a blueberry tea cake with like, orange curds; Henry got some cardamom tea cake thing; and Chooch got a strawberry cobbler tart or something.

Henry’s tea cake which was also supposed to be mine but then he rudely ate the last bite even though I wanted it and he never even bothered to ask, so REALLY racking up the points here, buddy-bud fuckhead.

Look how beautiful Janna’s was!

Anyway, the one downside was that we had to sit outside in the “courtyard” which was basically like a slab of broken concrete surrounded by weeds and a parking lot, all because these two asshole women were taking up two different group spaces amongst the two of them. One was sitting in an armchair in front of a table meant for 4, reading a book. I guess I can overlook this, but the only bitch WAS EATING WENDY’S at another table meant for a group. JUST BLANANTLY EATING HER DISGUSTING FAST FOOD IN THIS MAJESTIC BAKERY, but OK, bitch. I can’t believe the Bakewood staff was allowing this. Maybe she had ordered a drink from there to get around it, but still, are you fucking kidding me?

Our table and chairs wobbled bigly. On my birthday. But whatever. You shove that big bitch Wendy’s meal in your stupid fucking face. KIND REGARDS,

THIS 44-YEAR-OLD MEGA-(K)ERIN.

P.S. Is this Taemin’s way of acknowledging my birthday??!! Wearing a Robert Smith shirt at the Waterbomb after party?? Normally I’d chalk this up to his stylist being like “here put this on” but this is the second time I’ve seen him wearing a Robert shirt so maybe he actually is a fan??

View this post on Instagram

Ugh, my inner Karen is at it again, you guys. Henry and I were walking to the post office on Saturday and when we rounded the corner to get onto the Brookline Blvd sidewalk, we were met by SURPRISE CONSTRUCTION.

I don’t know why we were SURPRISED though considering that Brookline has been a construction workers’ playground for like 2 solid years at this point, and I’m starting to wonder if they’re purposely damaging shit just to use for training purposes?? Is Brookline a training center?!!?

OK, so here we were, coming ’round the mountain aka CVS, stepping out of the parking lot and onto the sidewalk, when we see that it’s being actively paved. We are not dum-dum idiot heads. We clearly saw that there were approx. 5 men in neon yellow pouring cement or whatever it was that they were doing. So we stopped walking (OBVIOUSLY) and were assessing which way to go when all of the men yelled HO HO HO HO!!!! (and not in a jolly Santa way like it was Xmas in July) with their arms  jutting out to stop us from…what? We weren’t walking toward to them!

So then some BITCH traffic flagger yelled, “YOU CAN’T GO THAT WAY!”

OH STFU YOU DUMB BITCH, NO FUCKING SHIT!

You guys, I lost my mind and started shouting about these dicks passive aggressively into the air, things like THEY THINK THEY’RE SO FUCKING COOL, OH OK COOL GUYS, KEEP DISRUPTING OUR LIVES! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD! I’M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!

And just then! One of their douchebag trucks farted past us.

OH, LINDY PAVING IS IT?? I screamed that out loud and the guy driving the truck looked at me nervously.

“I’m fucking calling them,” I said and Henry was like, “Um, Ok….probably no one will answer since it’s Saturday.” Like that’s going to deter me? “Oh wow, thanks for that Henry. Maybe I’ll just wait until—OH HOLD ON IT’S RINGING.”

Come on, like I was going to wait until Monday?

AND THEN SOMEONE ANSWERED!! Some stupid man because it’s always stupid men who are trying to upend my damn life. So I go, in a fake friendly BUT AGGRESSIVE SHOUT, “HI LINDY PAVING!!!! CAN YOU TELL YOUR WORKERS ON BROOKLINE BLVD TO STOP BEING ASSHOLES TO PEDESTRIANS THANK YOU” and then I hung up on his ass.

We were walking home when this happened so there were probably people walking nearby who heard this but you know what? I was having a rage blackout so I really didn’t notice.

“Wow,” Henry said. “Feel better?”

You know what? I really fucking did.

Stupid assholes.

I hate being YELLED AT by MEN. Also, their fucking neon yellow triggers me every time! AND APPARENTLY, IT’S A THING:

So, that happened and then Henry had to go to a different post office because at that point I refused to take a detour to go to the one on the Blvd, so way to go LINDY PAVING, now everyone has to suffer because of you.

Then I met Debby, Mar, and Megan at the Speckled Egg for brunch (I mean, it was 1:30 so can’t we just call it lunch and move on?). It’s the Union Trust building downtown and you know what? I don’t believe I have ever been in there!

The location and the company were the highlights.

The stafff was kind of….spacey and the other patrons were all basically influencers it seemed like.

I got whatever this is, which was delicious – stewed tomatoes with Moroccan spices, poached eggs, and mushrooms that were like those crispy onion things people put on top of casseroles in the 90s. Really delicious but I was immediately hungry afterward.

Megan told me I would love the bathroom so I went in even though I didn’t have to go, and she was right!

Anyway, I felt a lot calmer at this point of the day, and I got to tell Mar and Debby about the engagement (I actually saw Debby a few weeks ago when she came to my house to drop off a purse she made for me and it took everything in my power not to tell her then!) so that was fun! Megan of course already knew so she had to sit through the story again – sorry I exist!

I love that we meet up semi-regularly. I was so sad when they both retired, so it’s really nice that we get to see them actually more now than we had since the pandemic started, really!

OK, it’s really hot in my house and I need to stick my head in the freezer. Bye.

Fingers crossed that this trip actually happens unlike our last international coaster trip which was booked for…the beginning of April 2020. I’m superstitious in general so I have been having mild little fits of panic over this. But at the same time, I want to open my front door and holler ONE MORE WEEK AND YOU CAN EAT MY DUST PITTSBURGH!

Just kidding. I would be nicer, maybe.

Anyway, after this coaster tour, the three of us are hanging back in Stockholm, and then taking an overnight ferry to Turku, Finland where we will begin the last portion of the trip exploring Helsinki, some of its surrounding islands, possibly Tampere (game time decision) plus a daytrip to Tallinn, Estonia.

I’m excited to dust off my vacation journal and then crack open the spare one I bought in case I run out of room in the first! I’m excited to rack up new inside jokes with Chooch at Henry’s expense! I’m excited to HOPEFULLY make new friends within Coaster Crew! I’m excited for new #carouselfies, being in new-to-me countries, eating so many cinnamon rolls, and buying Pippi merch in Sweden! Obviously excited for all the coasters too!

Not excited about leaving the cats. :( Or the airports. Or the payments I will be making for the next too many years on the loan I took out to pay for this. But, MEMRIES. I want Chooch to have all of the experiences while he is still living with us!

Ahhhhh. I’m hyper. I can’t wait to send postcards! I’m going to be really annoying (moreso) for a while but please know that I will also be very hyper aware of that.

I’m not tryna brag or anything but Chooch and I just came home from one of my best trips to the tennis courts yet. I am finally starting to get the power back in my forehands and Chooch was actually playing seriously and not acting like he was twirling around in a baseball field which is what he was doing the first half of our court time on Sunday. I felt really good about rallies!

Then some family of four took the court behind us and whipped out their pickleball gear. That was….something else. The sounds were v. distracting. The guys playing on the court next to us were there the very first two times we came out to these courts so that felt special. I wonder if they recognized us and saw our improvements?!?! One of them sounds like EXACTLY like Bill Hader to the point where I kept feeling surprised every time I looked over and saw it wasn’t actually him.

Anyway, I felt really good out there tonight! I mean, I still feel like an almost-44-year-old bitch getting the run-around from her 17-year-old son, but still! I think I’m in OK shape for old lady

In other news:

• someone from own goddamn department at work called me KELLY in an email today and I about skyrocketed through the roof. Seriously. So fucking pissed off. And they didn’t even catch themselves and apologize, either. Dead to me.
• this fan-made video for “Like We Just Met” is so pure. I am definitely getting an NCT Dream tattoo if I can ever find someone in this shitty city that does the style I want…

• ….or I can just wait until we go back to Seoul, which might be sooner than I thought because HENRY AND I MUTUALLY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED THERE. It just makes sense. I know I have posted about my imaginary never-wedding over the years but now that it’s a reality, I just can’t picture it, you guys. Not that I would have ever thought I’d go the traditional route, but I can’t even imagine anything out-of-the-box. Trying so hard to get Janna to go with us!! I might start selling Henry’s plasma and put the proceeds into a Ship Janna to Korea fund.
• I feel like there was something else I was bargaining Henry’s plasma for recently….
• One week and one day until we go on vacation! I’m fucking stressed about it, which is how I know I have SOME amount of “adult” in me. But I’m mostly excited and I hope it goes as planned! I don’t take anything for granted these days. I’m going to try to micro-blog while we’re away, and maybe even live-blog a time or two!
• I think I finally found an eye doctor that I like!!! I had my first appointment with her yesterday after work and she was awesome and actually listened to my concerns about depth perception (Chooch thinks it’s just an excuse when we’re playing tennis but I fucking swear to god, I cannot tell where the ball is sometimes!!). Anyway, that was the first time I had the dilation thing in quite some time and wow, get your eyes dilated and then come to my house. That’s all I’m saying. It felt like I was on psychedelics.
• My birthday is Sunday! I think all I want to do is maybe go to Apteka and then Butterwood for cake? Usually, I try to go away for my bday but I think I can count our upcoming trip as a semi-bday thing.
• Speaking of playing tennis on Sunday, we were the only people there and the real Erin McEnroe came out in FULL FORCE. Finally, freedom to fly the FUCCCCCCCCCKS!!!!! and just generally scream and throw tantrums. Apologies though to the man and his two dogs who were walking past at one point and jumped in fear at one of my banshee shrieks. Chooch was like, “OMG calm down!!” but yo, this was teenage Erin being frustrated at the tennis club coming to visit. It felt good but also scary, lol. I was a monster back then. JUST back then. Not now. Certainly not. No. I’m a fucking patient angel baby.

OK, I think that’s it for now. I have to go back to doing last minute planning for our vacation, which is either going to be a mess or a hot mess. Only time will tell!