Archive for the 'Obsessions' Category
Halloween Costume Memories: 2014
Today’s costume flashback is brought to you by the victory I received over the weekend when Henry caved and said, “FINE WE CAN GO TO KNOEBELS FOR THEIR STUPID HALLOWEEN THING.” It’s from 2014, which was probably the most stress-free Halloween that Henry and I had ever since bringing Chooch onto the scene.
Here you go!
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Standing in line for Flying Turns at Knoebel’s two weeks ago, Chooch spotted a kid at the front of the line, wearing a bacon costume.
“Wouldn’t it be funny if his name was Kevin?” Chooch asked, laughing. “And he’s wearing a BACON costume?” He was beside himself with laughter at this point. “GET IT, MOMMY? KEVIN…BACON!?”
YES I GET IT! GOD.
He watched Footloose once last year so obviously Mr. Bacon has been on Chooch’s radar ever since. I mean, it’s Kevin-fucking-Bacon.
In fact, earlier that same day, as Henry was driving around the town of Danville, PA in circles, Chooch piped up from the backseat, “Don’t Kevin Bacon your way around.” It makes less and less sense the more you think about it, but goddamn did we laugh at the time!
And then, after seeing the bacon kid at Knoebel’s, Chooch said that’s what he wanted to be for Halloween: a bacon suit with a Hello My Name Is: Kevin name tag. You guys. Finally. A simple goddamn Halloween costume. With two weeks to go! No makeup needed! No DIY crossbows or cardboard boxes to turn to mush in the rain! No ONELASTTHING that has one of us running to CVS 15 minutes before trick-or-treating begins.
Last weekend, we went to the Halloween store and bought the bacon costume. I had no problem spending $30 on it because even though it seems like we’re being so economical with all of our DIY costumes of Halloween-past, all the bits and pieces that we have to collect from Goodwill and eBay add up, not to mention the stress of putting it all together. But the best part was the Chooch was so excited and proud of this costume! I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s not the first person to do this.
But he might be the first 8-year-old to come up with the idea on his own!
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Halloween was a wet mess. It started raining late-morning and basically never let up, so the parade at Chooch’s school was moved to the gym. At first I was really pissed off about the parade in general because Henry kept saying he would probably be able to make it but of course at the last minute, his mistress showed up a truck driver showed up at work, so he couldn’t leave in time to make the parade. But then when I got to the school, I quickly forgot about being mad because THE GYM TEACHER WAS THERE AND I AM SO HOT FOR THAT GUY! So instead of sending Henry death-threats via text, I occupied myself with taking stealth-shots of my gym teacher crush while Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” played on a loop in my slutty head.
Don’t worry! There was still room for me to judge 3/4 of the parents in the room.
The parade only lasted about 15 minutes. Once the adults realized Chooch’s entire costume, there was a ton of snickering and he seemed pleased. I figured most people assumed this was a costume that his bossy parents forced on him.
“None of your friends are going to get it,” I told him the other day.
“No…but the teachers will,” he shrugged. Because that’s all he cares about: impressing grown-ups.
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It was still raining by the time trick-or-treating started and I was completely upset about it. Chooch didn’t give a fuck, but I was all, “HALLOWEEN IS RUINED! AGAIN! WAHHHH!” But really it was because I was mad that I had half-assed a baby doll costume (I was wearing a donuts-in-space baby doll dress, even) and then had to cover everything up with a rainjacket, ugh. I hate everything!
Anyway. We wound up going around the neighborhood with our neighbor Sam and her son, Markie. Markie is kind of like the little brother that Chooch always says he wants until he spends too much time with Markie and then he turns into a little jerk-bully and it is so infuriating. I hate kids with superiority complexes and Chooch definitely has one that rears its head every now and then. I spent most of the time saying things like, “CAN’T YOU JUST BE NICE?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO MARKIE? STOP BEING A JERK.”
Ugh.
Stop making me be a MOM on HALLOWEEN.
Henry was absolutely no help whatsoever.
Markie’s mom has trick-or-treating on LOCK. She would quickly point out if they missed a house or if they only took one when the sign said TAKE TWO and she was on top of things when it came to crossing the street. Have you seen me cross the street? Thank god for Markie’s mom.
A few Halloweens ago, Chooch completely bit it down a set of stairs not unlike these ones. And this year, he was practically making the trek in a DRESS. He did fall once, not down any steps at least, and Markie’s mom was on top of it. That’s just one of the reasons why everyone assumed she was my kid’s mom that night.
Sigh.
AFTER THIS HOUSE GO TO THAT HOUSE. DON’T WALK THROUGH THEIR YARD! YOU MISSED THAT HOUSE! THE LIGHT IS OFF BUT THERE IS A BOWL ON THE PORCH!!!!
Ah, the sounds of hyper-bossy trick-or-treating parents. They should have their own show on TLC.
And I thought Henry was a candy-fetching militant.
Seriously, Chooch’s costume. It’s like a breakfast gown. I had the ingenious foresight to pin it up, but that brilliant mom-idea came the day before, so by Halloween, I had forgotten to do it. But still, people freaked out over his costume. One lady even asked to take his picture. I was happy to stand in the background and not take any credit. This was all Chooch and I let him have it all. (There were times when people would laugh and say to each other, “Oh, he’s bacon, how cute” and, after fisting their candy bowl, he would snap, “I’m KEVIN Bacon” and then sauntered away while they let that sink in.
Toward the end of the night, we parted ways with the neighbors, and if there was a house Chooch felt like skipping, we let him skip the everloving FUCK out of it. It was cold and wet and we wanted to go home and eat candy, you know? Leave us alone.
No commentsErin’s Kpop Hour
Hi guys! I’ve been thinking a lot about the fast-rising popularity of BTS over here in America and while I am of course super stoked for them (and also 3 parts smug that something I have been trying to get my friends into has broken into the mainstream *blows on nails like it was all my doing* haha), I thought this would be a great opportunity to promote some of the other just-as-lovely Kpop boy bands that are working their asses off to bring us the quality bops & jams, daydream fodder, and music video masterpieces. (In Kpop land, we just call those MVs. Look, I taught you something!)
I have probably pimped a lot of these boys out on here over the last two years, but it’s always worth a revisit! I’m going to include two videos for each group and that’s not necessarily to say they’re my favorites, but mainly just the ones that I think would be a good introduction. Just be prepared to fall down the rabbit hole, and if you’re an obsessive personality like me, you’ll come out the other side straight into Korea. Aigoo.
(If you’re already a Kpop fan and don’t see your fave groups here, don’t kill me! There’s a ton more I wanted to include but then we’d be here all day and night!)
- EXO
These guys are arguably the biggest group in Korea at the moment, yes some would say even bigger and more well-loved than BTS, and this is all without having a single comeback since last summer. No, I mean LAST summer. 2017. Their fans are loyal AF! They’re constantly getting compared to BTS though and maybe it’s just because both groups debuted within a year of each other, but I really think that it’s apples and oranges. EXO can come off having a more late-90s R&B vibe, which really appeals to me. For starters, let’s listen to Ko Ko Bop and a live performance of The Eve so you can get a better feel for their beautiful choreo:
EXO is rumored to be working on a comeback here soon and I know at least one of my friends is chomping at the bit over this! It’s been a long time coming, so it should be exciting!
2. BIGBANG
So if EXO is arguably the biggest group in Korea, then BIGBANG takes the crown for Kings of Asia. You guys know that this is my ultimate #1, my hard stan of all stans, and that their leader G-Dragon is my forever-bias, so you might already know some of their music! BIGBANG had their last comeback toward the end of 2016, and then one of their members, TOP, enlisted in the military soon after. Three more enlisted last winter, and a single was released shortly after, which dominated every chart without a single ounce of promotions – that’s the power of BIGBANG. They still have one member left to enlist, their maknae Seungri, so we probably won’t see a BIGBANG comeback until 2020 (tears just spontaneously sprung from my eyes), but luckily YouTube is a freaking vault of BIGBANG history so maybe take a day off and dive in? That’s just my suggestion. I’ll even write you a doctor’s excuse.
OK, let’s start with my favorite video. I love the colors, the clothes, and of course the song. I think it’s the most easily-accessible one too, for anyone not familiar with Kpop. This was one of the few that all my co-workers all agreed was “surprisingly OK.” That’s practically a gold stamp!
Fun fact: I couldn’t read Korean yet when this video first came out, and then a long time later, I learned that each of their names is hidden in the background of certain scenes, and it was one of the best, most satisfying feelings when I went back and was able to read it!
This next BIGBANG video is maybe their most popular one? I’m not a big statistic person, so I’m just making shit up as I go along, but let’s just say my words are loosely-based on half-assed google searches. Anyway, this was the first BIGBANG song I ever heard, without realizing it was going to someday change (wreck?) my life, back when I first got into KpopX Fitness in 2015. I almost passed out after that workout video!
OK, if I don’t give myself a two-video limit, I’ll end up just posting their entire video collection here and you don’t want that – OR DO YOU.
3. SHINee
My #2 group! SHINee makes my heart go so soft, and now I’m tearing up just thinking about how much I treasure them. It’s also hard to find the words, and I think I’m going to break my rule and post more than just two videos for them because they’re worth it, and they’re worth your time. I promise! My #2 bias is the maknae (youngest) of this group, beautiful, precious Taemin. SHINee makes me so happy and sad all at once, because I can’t listen to them, think of them, see pictures of them, without thinking of Jonghyun, their member who took his life last December. I have never been that affected by a celebrity death before and it has been a rough time. So I want to include some videos from when they were five members, and then one from now, when they’re four +1 in spirit. Because they’ll always be five.
Let’s start with their debut video! There is this one recent live performance of Replay where Jonghyun is straight sobbing uncontrollably and this song never made me feel sad until I saw that. So now I sometimes have to skip it when it comes up on my playlist. :(
Taemin was like 15 there!
And this is one of my all-time SHINee favorites; it has such a mature sound and they all look so beautiful:
And because I love their live performances so much, here’s a recent one for a single of their first comeback as a four-member group (I can’t imagine the strength and courage that took):
I watched all of their comeback performances for this song constantly for weeks last June and it 100% brainwashed Chooch, who would walk around the house mindlessly humming it and probably had his dreams soundtracked to it, too.
Their leader, Onew, will be enlisting in the military very soon, so I feel very blessed that they treated us to so many MVs and promotions this year. Long live SHINee. <3 (You can tell me if you don’t like anything on this list today but NOT IF IT’S SHINEE because I am super protective of them and I’ll likely take out my anger on Henry SO THINK OF HENRY.)
OK FINE here’s a bonus Jonghyun solo video:
Ugh, the talent. </3
Please support SHINee. They have given so much of themselves to us.
4. Got7
SUPER UNDERRATED in my opinion, you guys. This boy group is so much fun to watch and they are just consistently great. They’re Chooch’s favorite Kpop group (Bam Bam is his bias) so he’s been pretty happy these last two weeks because they just had a comeback with Lullaby! Also, if you’re into fun facts about members, they’re a multi-ethnic group which I think is so cool because diversity: Mark is Taiwanese but from the US, Bam Bam is Thai, and Jackson is from Hong Kong. You’d have to ask Chooch if you want more facts about them, but I’ll tell you that my Got7 bias is Youngjae.
We’ll start with Hajima, because that’s the first Got7 song I ever heard (yes, courtesy of KpopX Fitness, thank you!) and it definitely stuck with me. Also, listening to this song now makes me realize that I have somehow learned more Korean than I thought?! And here’s one of those complimentary fun facts: the girl in the beginning of this video is Dahyun from Twice (I love her):
“Hajima” was one of the first Korean words I learned (after oppa, probably, lol) and I love to scream it at the cats.
And here’s their newest MV for Lullaby – look how much they’ve grown! I think the choreo is so tight for this song (if that’s your jam, check out one of their music show performances for all of it!) (Also, that’s my bias in the green pants lol.)
5. Pentagon
It was hard for me to choose a #5 because there are so many incredible and deserving groups out there right now – like Astro, who I will be seeing this Sunday but I just shared several of their videos last week so I figured I would give this spot to another group. I went with Pentagon because they need all the support they can get right now. I mentioned this on here recently, but one of the members, E’Dawn, has been essentially removed from the group after admitting that he’s been dating Hyuna, a solo artist from the same agency. It’s a major Korean scandal, yo. And other one of their members, Yanan, has been sitting out recent promotions due to health issues, so they just had their comeback as an 8-member group and it breaks my heart. These guys have such quirkiness, so much palpable energy, and loads of talent (they write their own songs, Kpop isn’t always that mass-produced hit-factory that it’s often mistaken for).
I’m gonna give you guys three Pentagon vids too because over here at Oh Honestly, Erin, we be makin’ rules just to break ’em. First up is “Shine” and if you don’t immediately smile when this one starts, then congratulations, you’re dead. (E’Dawn is the very first one shown, in case you were wondering. And yes, he’s my Pentagon bias. #GDragonVibes)
Isn’t this just one of the most joyful things you’ve ever witnessed? Chooch and I were screaming our faces off for them at KCON last June.
This next song came out a year ago and went largely unnoticed which is insane to me because the MV is dreamy and the song is strong as fuck.
Lastly, here’s a live performance of their latest E’Dawn-less and Yanan-less song, Naughty Boy. (There is a really great explanation video for this song by one of my favorite YouTube channels, DKDK, and I highly recommend it if you’re interested in learning about the creative word-play that obviously falls short on us English speakers and some insight on how Korean culture and social issues inspired the meaning behind this song, because it’s way deeper than just a quirky bop.)
Please support Pentagon! Watch their videos on YouTube, buy their albums, listen to them on Spotify – just give them your love! They’re going through some shit right now.
Honorary mentions: IKON, Ace, NCT (there are various subgroups for this one and they are all worthy of your ears!), Stray Kids, Monsta X, Seventeen and SF9.
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And there we go, something to hopefully help you get through a boring work day, some new jams for your workout playlist, or just some overall intensely sugared eye candy! If you found something you like, let me know! And let me know if you like these kinds of music round-up posts and I will try to do them once or twice a month!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and scream in a pillow because we’re seeing BTS on Saturday and I’m just ready for this. I’M NOT READY!
2 commentsLizzie Love
Like pretty much everyone in this country it seems, I have been interested in true crime for as long as I can remember. But my first true “killer” love was Lizzie Borden. I mean, her story had it all: the Victorian setting, the gruesome crime scenes, the mystery and intrigue, the…pears.
One of the greatest things Henry ever did for me was take me to Fall River, Massachusetts for my birthday in 2003 and we stayed overnight at the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast. It was…SO FUCKING SCARY. I mean, nothing obtusely paranormal happened to us, but aside from the summer caretaker (Mike, whom I learned several years ago perished in a house fire!!) we were the only guests there on that hot summer night.
It was one of the coolest experiences, even though this was back when Henry and I fought constantly because he was trying to hard to domesticate me.
Years later, we went back with Chooch. We didn’t stay overnight, but we did take a tour and visit the cemetery. Chooch was super interested and well-behaved during the whole tour so I was like TAKE THAT to the people on the tour with us who silently judged our decision to bring our 7-year-old but joke’s on them because he’s an ax-murderer too.
LOL sike j/k.
Recreating the crime scene.
So all of this is a big lead-in for my new serial killer birthday card! I know, I know, Lizzie isn’t exactly a serial killer, but she’s definitely an American horror icon so I do tend to include her occasionally in my cards. I felt it was fitting to have her play the role of the matriarch at the kid’s birthday party in my latest card, though, and I am so giddy about it! I think that this is my current favorite design in the non compos collection and I hope that my customers love it as much as I do.
The gang’s all here waiting for Lizzie to serve them up a scoop of sherbet! Can you name them all?
I felt that the image on this card was good enough and didn’t need to be cluttered with text, so I stuck with a simple “Happy Birthday” and then a short sentiment on the inside.
Serve this sucker up to your favorite murderino on their next birthday!
Or if you know someone who is just strictly a Lizzie lover, might you consider this festive design?
It’s a little known, oft-glossed over fact that Lizzie Borden was a gold medalist in the Fall River Birthday Cake Cutting Olympics. Funny how no one cared about her deft, hatchet-wielding prowess until she advanced from cakes to craniums.
Now we can help teach the world about Lizzie’s non-murderous talents, one birthday card at a time. THANK GOD.
This educational card comes with an envelope, because the last time I tried to mail something in an eggshell, it never made it.
(This is not true. I feel obliged to clarify because the last time I posted this on the socials, someone asked if it was true. I mean, maybe? But probably not because I’m pretty sure I just cooked it up in my head because I have lots of empty space up there.)
The card has an inside and this is it.
I also have these fancy and sophisticated Lizzie note cards, the first note card set I ever offered in my shop! These are great for when you feel like practicing your calligraphy or owe your death row pen pal a letter but ran out of sheaths of the pig skin you would normally use.
“Pig.”
And I’ll leave you with this vintage snap of Henry reenacting the Borden crime scene during our overnight stay – look at him, still swathed in nondescript duds even back in 2003!
OK guys, this has been my Lizzie Borden interlude. Carry on.
No commentsTaemin Tuesday
Hi hello. I want to be positive and spread joy today instead of succumbing to the sad Eeyore in my head, so here I am to ply you with some Taemin eye candy because SHINee just released a new music video yesterday, and I have already watched it 974932074 times and now you should too.
I love SHINee, all of the members….but Taemin, good god. His voice comes out like a warm blanket on a cold day (or, in a cold office, which is where I am now, with a blanket across my lap) and it brings me so much joy. I remember a long time watching an Eat Your Kimchi video where Martina referred to him as the G-Dragon of SHINee, or something to that effect, and I didn’t really get it then because I was thinking more comparatively and it didn’t make sense since they are VERY different artists; but over time, it kind of fell into place and I get it now. There are so many places his charisma can take him.
When he’s holding those flowers at the end, OMG, I just want to open a door and see him standing there, ugh.
The other night on Instagram, one of the Taemin fan accounts posted that someone was selling their “standing room” ticket for Taemin’s performance at Music Bank in Germany and I had a full-blown moral altercation with myself and had to physically grab my hand to stop from typing in “I WILL TAKE IT WHAT IS YOUR PAYPAL ADDRESS.” I reminded myself that I have a family that would probably not be happy about going without food for the next month, ugh fuck you, family.
Remember when I wasted like 8 years of my life fan-girling over unworthy Jonny Craig when G-Dragon and Taemin were out there all along? Ugh, to get that time back!
Here’s a picture of my cat Drew and me getting our morning dose of Taemin:
Wow, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
The Straw Story
For the last year or so I have felt like such a jerk every time I grab a straw at a cafe because I kept meaning to buy reusable straws – we always mean to do good things, don’t we? And even though the straw ban hasn’t fully hit Pittsburgh yet, I finally got off my ass and ordered a pack of reusables from Amazon. And by that I mean I complained to Henry about how we need to make a lifestyle change and then he bought some. He ended up getting the hard plastic ones and not the stainless steel which I was thankful for because I’m not sure how I feel about stainless steel straws and just thinking about one in my mouth makes me taste pennies.
YES, I KNOW PENNIES ARE COPPER, GOD!
The straws arrived over the weekend and I was so excited! Except that Henry apparently had only bought them for my use and had secretly planned to keep using throw-aways this whole time because fuck the environment, kill the sea turtles, right Hank?
Au contraire!
When we left the house on Sunday to go shopping, I realized after we got about a mile from home that we were probably going to stop for iced tea/coffee at some point because that’s usually what happens when you live on the edge like we do, so I screamed, “WE FORGOT TO BRING STRAWS!
” to which Henry calmly replied, “Oh well, we’ll just start another day, I guess” and I was like, “THE FUCK WE WILL, TURN THIS BITCHIN’ CAR AROUND.”
And he did. And I ran in the house and got two straws for the road.
As expected, we stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts after he flirted with all the old lady cashiers at the craft store (they all know him in there because he’s there so often buying supplies for our greeting card line, if they only knew what we were actually doing* with all that cardstock, OH HA HA HA!).
*(Plaster it with the faces of serial killers and porn stars, natch.)
While Henry was placing our order through the drive-thru speaker, I kept hissing, “Tell them not to give us straws” but he refused. So then I was like, “OK well tell them at the window that we don’t need straws.”
And what did he do?
HE TOOK THE STRAWS FROM THE BROAD WHEN SHE HANDED THEM TO HIM.
“WE DON’T NEED THESE!!!!” I shouted, and I do mean motherfucking hollered, to the shock and horror of both Henry and the DD girl (as in Dunkin’ Donuts, not cup-size, come on now, guys).
“Oh,” Henry said in tone that quietly implied he was completely defeated in his home life. “We don’t need these.” He handed the straws back and the girl was like, “Okay,” in a tone that loudly implied she thought we were fucking weirdos with some oddball reverse hostage situation going on inside the car.
I gleefully slammed my perma-straw into my never-right DD iced “latte” and then we went across the street to the cemetery for a walk.
Of course, I finished my drink while we were walking and actually remembered to take out the straw so I didn’t accidentally throw it away. I rinsed it off using one of the cemetery water pumps (obviously I washed it for real when I got home! Stop lecturing me!) and then tried to get Henry to carry it.
“OH NO! I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! I AM NOT CARRYING YOUR FUCKING STRAW!” he yelled and I was like, “MY PAPPAP IS BURIED IN THIS CEMETERY SO YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH HANK, HE ALREADY HATES YOU!”
Anyway, now I need to get a travel pouch to keep a few straws in but I haven’t found one yet that really calls my name (i.e. something that is totally obnoxious and looks like a pencil box for a 2nd grade Korean girl and yes, I looked into obnoxious pencil boxes but they all seem to be a tad too short, wah).
I don’t ever bring a purse out with me on my lunch break walks, so yesterday I had to openly carry a straw with me like a tiny baton, which I twirled back and forth across the fingers of my left hand, like some amateur majorette in a utensil parade. This was AFTER I put the straw in my gallon water jug*, thinking that it would be buoyant, but no, it sunk to the bottom and then I had to use chopsticks to fish it out because yes I keep a pack of super adorable chopsticks in my desk and use them whenever I’m eating something other than Cream of Wheat.
*(I’m also trying to find a really good refillable water jug. WHY DON’T THEY MAKE G-DRAGON ONES?!)
And this has been a story about straws.
And jugs (DD ones and water).
And chopsticks.
Yo, anyone reading this: Do you use reusable straws?
If so, WHAT KIND OF STRAW SATCHEL DO YOU USE? Or do you just shove one in your pocket, lint be damned? I can’t decide if I want one that’s gaudy and immature as mentioned previously, or something like a small and mysterious cross-body pouch that will make passers-by wonder if I’m carrying secret papers from the ISA.
No commentsBeing Tourists in Pittsburgh, Part 2: He’s just a sweet Choochvestite.
Hi, I’m back with the shocking conclusion of my previous post, Being Tourists In Pittsburgh. WOW, HOLD ON TIGHT. Just kidding, feel free to flail around.
After we left the Heinz History Center, we walked Jessi back to the hotel so she could get started with her pre-Rocky Horror performance process. We didn’t want to be the ones responsible for jinxing her by pulling her away from that, so released her to the Omni William Penn and then continued walking to Millie’s because Bill said he was down for ice cream but I think he knew he didn’t really have a choice because I was like, “Millie’s is the best; we’re going.”
Look, Pittsburgh has got a lot of great ice cream options but Millie’s is the one that always wins a spot on my itinerary when I have out-of-town guests visiting. (So like, twice so far, lol.) They just make really delicious, fresh ice cream and sorbet made with local ingredients and they’re always getting involved with the community—you know the types! Just all-around great people and Henry loves it because you can buy little packages of waffle cone pieces which I think is genius because what else are you going to do when you’re making homemade waffle cones and one breaks? YOU DON’T THROW THAT SHIT AWAY.
Also, they plug the butts of the waffle cones with a marshmallow so you don’t get melted ice cream tracks running down your shirt and arms like I generally do everywhere else we get ice cream cones.
The main reason I wanted to go to Millie’s (I mean, other than to treat my awesome friends to some great ice cream!) was because they updated their Instagram that morning with a new flavor: BLUEBERRY PANCAKES.
The description is what really sold me though: fresh blueberry compote, homemade syrup from some dude name Paul, and, this is what sealed the deal for me: real pancakes from Square Cafe in Regent Square. I love Square Cafe and I love pancakes so I wanted to eat this on that day, it was imperative.
It also did NOT DISAPPOINT.
They actually ladle the syrup right on top of the scoop!
Chooch got his standard scoop o’ chocolate, which inspired Bill to do the same. Peer pressure, Bill’s got it. I always mock Chooch for having such a basic palate but Millie’s chocolate actually is indescribably perfect.
I forget what Henry got. One of the sorbets, I think. Who cares.
We went back to the Omni after that and Bill was dumb and invited us into their room without even bothering to squirt us with holy water first to make sure we’re not vampires. Jessi was still getting ready (she was being the Criminologist for that night’s show so she had a lot of costuming to do!) so we decided that we were going to investigate this so-called fifth floor that most of the elevators skipped over. Bill said he noticed that there was one particular set of elevators that actually had a button for the fifth floor, so we sought out that one and then held our breath while it descended.
However, when the doors opened, we were immediately disappointed. I guess I was expecting something out of Nightmare on the 13th Floor*, hallway all blood-red with fancy tapestries and gaslight sconces, Victrola music humming from behind someone’s locked door.
*(HAVEN’T YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE?! It was a 1990 made-for-TV movie that USA frequently played and it scared the shit out of me. Look that up.)
But no, we could tell right away that it was just a floor full of offices.
Such a let down.
Then we went to the room where the convention was happening because there was a raffle drawing about to take place and Bill and Jessi had some stake in it.
“They haven’t checked anyone’s badge the entire time we’ve been here, so I don’t think it’ll matter if you guys come with me,” Bill assured us, and Chooch and Henry were like, “That’s cool” and never thought about it again, while I was being my typical “DEER IN HEADLIGHTS-TOTALLY SUSPICIOUS-LOOK AT THE SPOTLIGHT ON ME-I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE” self.
Henry said that there were some girls asking me about my purse when we walked in but I completely ignored them because I couldn’t hear them over the metallic ringing in my ears BECAUSE OMG ARE WE GOING TO GET BUSTED.
I felt like everyone knew we weren’t actually convention-goers and I was doing everything in my power to burrow myself into Henry’s armpit. I have many layers and one of them is that I HATE STEALING and I felt, in a way, that we were being thieves by waltzing into this convention without purchasing a badge. Granted, we only sat there long enough to watch some broad named MONTANA clean up on all the winnings.
Bill was irate.
We hated Montana after that! Plus, she wasn’t even present to collect her bounty! They should have tossed aside her tickets and drawn again! Don’t get me started on Montana.
Afterward, we went back to Bill and Jessi’s room. Jessi was nearly finished getting into her role by then, but Henry had just enough time to fall asleep in an arm chair.
His favorite thing! Sleeping in other people’s hotel room!
Then we piled into our car and drove back to the Hollywood Theater which is literally about a 5 minute walk from my house. The Hollywood is famous for being in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s also where the Rocky Horror Picture Show and the shadowcast has played for like, decades. Tonight’s show was special because it was going to feature an all-star shadowcast from different cities. Jessi had submitted an audition tape a while back for this and was accepted so when Bill asked us if we wanted to come out and watch her, how the fuck could I turn that down?
Henry and I had a brief parental powwow about whether or not we should take Chooch with us to this but then I reasoned that I was his age when I first watched RHPS. BLOG READERS, WALK WITH ME:
It was Easter of 6th grade (whatever year that was) and my BFF Christy (see also: Crystal Lite and Crystal McGoo-Goo) was sleeping over which meant we were in the market for some horror movie rentals. My aunt Sharon took us to Blockbuster (miss you, baby) and recommended RHPS to us. I mean, if one were to judge a VHS by it’s box, it did look like it had horror movie potential.
However, after watching it that night, we were immediately disappointed. It had it’s grotesque moments but it wasn’t the eye-covering 70s slasher film we were in the mood for. We grumbled about it for a bit and then went to sleep.
When we woke up the next day, however, I looked at Christy and whispered, “Do you want to watch that again?” and she was like “YES” and then WE DID and by the end of the second-viewing, we knew the Time Warp front and back, left to right, and I was writing diary entries entitled WHERE HAS TIM CURRY BEEN ALL MY LIFE. We were shook and hooked, you guys.
There was this one time when my mom hid the video camera inside the fireplace and recorded us doing the Time Warp. I texted her last week and asked her if she remembered this and instead of saying, “No, you must have dreamt that” which is her typical response when she doesn’t want to fess up, she said, “Lol, yes. Hilarious.” I’m sure that’s still floating around somewhere, along with footage of me dancing to Queen’s Radio Gaga with rollers in my hair.
We were so obsessed that we used to sing parts of RHPS songs as roller coasters at Kennywood would be carrying us up the first hill.
“I bet she doesn’t remember that,” Henry scoffed, knowing that none of my friends ever remember the things from our childhood that seemed like BIG MOMENTS to me.
But then I texted her and this happened, so fuck off Henry:
So, all of this is to say that I was pretty excited to be experiencing this all over again but with Chooch this time.
We arrived at the Hollywood before tickets went on sale, since we were basically the Criminologist’s entourage so Chooch, Bill and I sat on a couch in the lobby, where Chooch got his first taste at RHPS as all of the Columbias and Franks sauntered around before him.
He just kept shaking his head.
“You have no idea what you’re in for!” I laughed.
Pre-show selfie! I was so stoked for her, but also experienced sympathy butterflies.
Here’s a picture from the basement bathroom of the Hollywood which I have actually never been in, after literal decades of seeing movies there. I think it’s probably haunted. Anyway, I took this picture because my popcorn purse was getting mad love from all the RHPS convention attendees that day which made me glad that I splurged on this at Everland in Korea. I didn’t want the popcorn (although it ended up being delicious and banana-flavored, because Korea) but when I saw people walking around with it that day in the park I had mad visions of using it as a purse. I mean, it’s pretty clunky and only fits like, lipgloss and some change, maybe a tampon (I’ll have to try) but this bag is everything.
After sitting around for nearly an hour waiting to buy tickets (they weren’t being sold through the theater), Bill finally had enough and said, “THAT’S IT, WE’RE JUST GOING IN.” ANyone with a badge had free admission, so Jessi gave me hers since she was performing, but I still felt like, again, A FUCKING THIEF.
Bill reasoned that he and Jessi had given the convention people enough of their money and us not buying $15 tickets wasn’t going to hurt them, but I still felt so guilty and paranoid walking to the seats that Jessi saved for us. IN THE SECOND ROW. WE WERE PRACTICALLY SITTING DUCKS FOR THE CONVENTION PEOPLE TO SPOT. Chooch was oblivious and just sat there eating popcorn, checking out all the fishnets and corsets, but I was gnawing my fingers to the bone over this.
“WHAT IF THEY WALK AROUND AND ASK FOR OUR TICKETS?!” I hissed to Henry.
“Would you calm down?! They’re not going to do that.”
They didn’t do that.
It was fine.
We assimilated and no one gave us a second glance.
Bill bought Chooch and me prop bags, not considering the repercussions this would have on Henry, who ended up soaking wet and covered in covered by the end of the night. Also, as soon as Chooch was explained the concept of the prop bags, his attention was piqued and he was in it to win it.
Before the show started, they played the audition tapes of all the out-of-town shadowcast participants and we screamed our faces off when Jessi’s was on the screen.
Anyway, the show was fantastic and Jessi killed her part! Second to that, I had so much fun seeing this movie again through Chooch’s eyes. In the beginning, when all the RHPS virgins had to go up to the front and fake orgasms, Chooch was like SRSLY MOM WTF and Henry was just like FROWN FROWN FROWN GOOD JOB BRINGING OUR PRE-TEEN HERE, but then Chooch was so into the audience participation elements that he forgot he was witnessing age-inappropriate shenanigans with his parents and snapped his rubber glove with wanton abandon.
What a fucking awesome night with Bill and Jessi. I mean, all of our hangouts are totally memorable and hilarious, but this night is definitely up at the top. And I can’t think of anyone better to expose Chooch to RHPS than the people who played Cards Against Humanity with him when he was like 8 (and he won). And Henry only slept through some parts of the show, not all!
We went to Tom’s Diner afterward and Chooch had so many questions. So. Many. Questions.
He is in SO DEEP now that by the next morning, he had YouTubed all of the song-scenes, learned a bunch of call-backs, and is ready to go to Michigan to watch Jessi perform there with her cast.
I laughed a little bit to myself at work the other night because my boss was talking to me about Chooch and how many cool experiences he’s had in his short life because of Henry and me. “You guys are great parents! Taking him to all kinds of places that most kids his age don’t get to go!” and in my head, I was like, “Yes, like Rocky Horror Picture Show.” He is certainly well-versed in a myriad of pop culture categories!
***
A few days ago, he came home from the library and said that he was singing “Sweet Transvestite” and Liam and Markie were like, “What is a transvestite” so he explained it to them, and that’s my son, broadening horizons and opening minds.
***
P.S. Bill & Jessi ended up meeting Montana the next day and he said she was actually very nice so we felt for motherfucking her and all her raffle wins. OR DID WE.
2 commentsWarped Tour 2018: Sad Sayonara
I keep putting off recapping Warped Tour for a couple reasons: it was the last one ever and I needed to let the feels marinate for a bit before spooning it into the thought pot, I’m really blog-ambivalent these days, but mostly because there just isn’t really that much to say this time.
This sounds like we had a horrible time and I can assure you it wasn’t that. In fact, aside from early morning sniping, it was actually the first Warped Tour since Chooch started going with us that we got through the whole entire day without even the TINIEST quarrel. Give us a fucking ribbon at the Family Behavioral Fair, motherfuckers.
It just very much felt like we were going through the motions. For instance, the gate we normally enter through didn’t appear to be open this year so we had to get in a much-longer line for the main gate and I didn’t even feel the tiniest bit anxious about this because it didn’t matter to me when we got in. WHY, YOU ASK? GOOD QUESTION. Because there wasn’t one single band in the lineup that I was super-stoked to see.
!!!!
Granted I know that I have been out of the loop for a year or two but even the old bands on the list were like Zzzzzzzz for me.
SO WHY DID YOU BUY A TICKET, DUMMYTURKEY?! Great question! Because I still love the atmosphere and the vibes and I wanted to see it through to the end. GOD DONT YOU READ MY BLOG I ALREADY WROTE ABOUT THAT.
One thing I want to want to mention before I move on to other things is that for as huge of a festival that Warped Tour is, we have never really had a bad “waiting in line” experience. The credit probably goes to the venue, but they do such a stand-up job getting everyone inside the gates at a speedy, safe pace. (KCON/PRUDENTIAL CENTER SHOULD STUDY THIS PROCESS!)
The whole time we were in line though, I kept checking the Warped Tour socials for the “magic word” to get the first 200 people free shit at the Vans tent but I never saw one! So that was kind of a let-down. I had notifications turned on for the Warped Tour app and never received a single alert all day long which was strange…this was one of the reasons why it just didn’t feel right this year.
Chooch got to play games so he was happy. That was all he was looking forward to since the lineup was so “meh” this year.
This was us sitting in the pavilion (all these girls at Warped Tour with their perfectly matte faces while I’m over here looking like I could moisten a whole loaf of week-old bread with my face), waiting 35 minutes for the Maine to come on which never happened because I didn’t make the connection that for the first time ever, there was only one stage under the pavilion?! Usually, it’s the Journeys Left Foot and Journeys Right Foot, but this time they were separated so only one of the “foots” was under the pavilion and guess what guys it wasn’t the one that the Maine was playing on so my tradition of going to Warped Tour every year and never seeing the Maine continued. It’s good to end things with a perfect streak sometimes, you know?
Also, there was a fifteen minute delay on every stage but I thought it was only on three of the stages because I didn’t read the inflatable schedule correctly and basically, if I had any vested interest in seeing any particular band, I would have probably been met with disappointment.
It was just weird how this day started off with CHANGES and that just led to a strong feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day.
If you know what I mean.
Do you know what I mean?
I’m the type of person who totally loses her mind when there is even a tiny sprinkle of aberration in a schedule.
But can I just say again how weird it was to not be literally sprinting from stage to stage in an effort to see all of my scene-faves? A Warped Tour without Emarosa is bad enough but there really wasn’t any post-hardcore for my soul that day.
We did accidentally see a hardcore band called Sharptooth though and I was immediately sucked in because the screamer was a girl and she was fierce as fuck. After the first song, she plowed right into a fiery speech about #MeToo and the crowd was backing her so hard with energetic cheers, and all I could think was, “Can we claw-drop all of the Ronnie Radkes on this tour into the front row and make them listen to this hard truth?” What irony, you know? This band promoting safe spaces, speaking out against domestic/sex abuse, rape, the mental illness stigma, while so many shitty bands full of shitty motherfucking abusers were running rampant on in the same venue because Kevin Lyman doesn’t want to lose money by banning their asses from Warped Tour. This strong, outspoken female could have eaten Jonny Craig alive and made Ronnie Radke shit his pants.
CAN YOU SEE WHY THIS WAS HARD FOR ME!? On one had, Warped Tour is supposed to be this safe haven for all walks of life, socially conscious with tons of really great (and I mean super fantastic) organizations there every summer spreading awareness for depression, suicide, LGBTQ, breast cancer. They have food drives at every city and a tent where you can get swabbed to be a bone marrow donor. (I almost wrote donater.)
But then it’s also a huge parking lot full of band dude debauchery, statutory transgressions and other things that go in on those tour buses that I don’t want to even think about because ew.
On that note though, I noticed a HUGE influx of families in attendance. This was usually not the case, so maybe it was all those grown-up punks wanting to revisit the scene for Warped’s swan song, but goddamn there were A LOT of children there. The first year we brought Chooch, it was 2013 and he was quite literally one of maybe three under-15 kids there, to the point where he was getting a lot of attention and double-takes (and a lot of free swag!). I remember getting a lot of shit from people who thought it was a bad idea for us to take him at that age (he was 7) but you have to consider the fact that Henry and I were already extremely experienced at this and Chooch was literally raised on this kind of music. I mean, he tell you the names of the singers of probably 15 bands that were there that year.
So this was another thing that made our last Warped Tour feel….sterile? Is that the word I want? Yes. Let’s go with sterile.
Also, Chooch is barely even a kid anymore! It’s weird that he won’t ever get to experience Warped Tour with his friends. We used to joke that once he was in high school and his friends finally started getting into this stuff, he would have already been to like 10 Warped Tours! But now I guess we’ll have to see what kind of thing makes a move on Warped’s demographic.
LOL, Henry put so much effort into his Warped Tour outfit.
He was so funny on the way there that morning. Traffic was super backed up as we got closer to the exit for Key Bank Pavilion (will always be StarLake to me) and he was like, “Oh hell no” so he morphed into Professional Driver Henry and cut in front of every car sitting in mile-long Warped Tour traffic, drove over DO NOT CROSS lines, and slid right into a small opening in the front of the line and then said “I literally do not give a fuck.” He just wanted this day to be over, guys. It was actually super impressive.
Full disclosure, I had never heard of the band Lighterburns before but when I saw this sign, I screamed, “YES, I DO AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT” and promptly whipped out my credit card and by that I mean I had to chase after Henry who was pretending not to hear me and then shake him down for money because like why would I bring my own stuff lol.
Yeah, you do.
Anyway, after that I felt I would be remiss to not check out their set so I went back to the small stage that the lesser-known bands are relegated to, and I really liked them! I wish they had been able to accumulate a bigger crowd, but Warped Tour is a crapshoot like that sometimes. Anyway, here is one of their videos, go support them because they’re fighting the good fight.
Hahahahahahaha, probably my favorite picture from that day!
Chooch is too cool for the big slip-n-slide now I guess, even though he practically got pruned skin from the amount of time he spent in it at his first Warped Tour!
Seasoned veteran at age 12.
Since there were no must-see bands for me, I was able to meander about leisurely and just soak up the vibes, which actually was the best way for me to have closure. It was nice to just listen to all the screaming, get in some prime people-watching, and check out all the merch, like Choonimals! We of course bought their special edition Warped Tour design and said a sad goodbye to Chad, who takes Choonimals on the road with Warped Tour every year.
“This sucks, I feel like this part of the Warped Tour tradition for us, buying a Choonimals shirt,” I said to Chad and he admitted that he has no idea what he’s going to do with his summers now, but assured us that Warped Tour would still be around in some capacity. It sounds like it just not going to be a cross-country tour anymore, but that they will still have events. Maybe something like a west coast and east coast festival? I probably wouldn’t road trip for it, because I can’t imagine any bands in the scene right now inspiring me to travel, so this probably was my last Warped Tour.
Chad gave us all high-fives and thanked us for supporting the brand all these years. I’m not going to lie, I AM TEARING UP RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE THIS. Go check out Choonimals, their shirts are top-notch and the designs are just really great. I guess I’ll be buying all my future Choonimals online from now on, sigh.
Truth is always making people stop and play their dumb games which is right up Chooch’s alley. He always gets free shit from them every year and this time he played some stupid ninja game and chose yellow sunglasses as his prize because they reminded him of the $230 pair of Gentle Monsters that we wouldn’t buy him in Korea, lol, keep dreaming, kid.
Gonna miss sitting on this hill. Gonna miss these tents. Gonna miss the sunburn and the how amazing it feels to take a shower after enduring the heat all day. Apparently, it was so hot that day that the local EMS was calling it a “mass casualty incident” and it was all over the news. I had no idea about any of this, but it explains why three different people at work the next day were like, “I was so worried about you, there was a mass casualty incident!” and I was like, “Wow, how weird that all of these people are using the same word for it.
Then I found out that the singer of Waterparks, Awsten Knight, saw the news crew and ran over to give a statement, but he said he was Kyle Fletchers from December’s Tragedy and this is so fucking hilarious to me to think of people watching this and wondering if their kids like that band. Henry thought it was stupid but NO HENRY, YOU ARE STUPID.
Warped Tour apparently made him a new tour badge after that, hahaha. Oh, Awsten. We fucking missed Waterparks because of how the schedule was jacked all day and they were honestly one of only 4 bands I had any desire to see that day.
We stuck around long enough to 3Oh!3’s first three songs, because it felt symbolic since they were at the first Warped Tour that Henry and I attended together in 2008 (10 years ago! in case you can’t do math). They were largely unknown at the time and I remember thinking at first, “These guys are stupid” but half a song in, I was trying to get them to play at my imaginary prom. I remember exactly what stage they played on that year too, it was one of the ones under the pavilion, where the smaller bands performed back then. Katy Perry performed on that stage that year too and they both exploded into the mainstream right after that. It was nuts.
So even though we were all super fucking hot, tired, and hungry, we stuck around long enough to see some of their songs (“Oh, I know who they are now!” Chooch cried almost immediately after he kept insisting that he didn’t) and then we all decided to throw in the towel by 7pm. I mean, I certainly didn’t want to stick around for shitty Falling In Reverse and I gave no shits about any other band playing after that anyway.
I thought I would be OK, but I still found myself stalling, knowing that once we exited those gates, that was it. The Book of Warped Tour was closed. I know it probably sounds like we had a not-great time, but the fact is that it was just right. I didn’t have high expectations going in so I wasn’t let down. I knew the line-up and wasn’t shocked that there wasn’t anyone I was dying to see. I bought all the merch I needed. None of us fought. Chooch spun wheels and won things, Henry fell asleep.
It was enough for me. And it made me appreciate my new lifestyle even more, because I just connect with the Warped Tour stuff anymore and that’s OK. Maybe if they would have recreated the 2008 lineup, or the 2012 one, I would have been more stoked. There was a post-hardcore void, and it’s obvious that the kids are moving away from that genre, so it was another reason for me to make peace with the end of an era.
But I will tell you one thing, later that night, I lost all control of myself and started sobbing into Henry’s chest because it finally hit me. I know that this wasn’t something I did in my childhood, but it still had that feeling to it! Like it was some weird delayed coming-of-age moment for me, lol, I don’t know. Warped Tour was a big part of my life for many years and I will cherish those memories forever. But now I can fully embrace this new season of life I’m getting into, without having one foot stubbornly stuck in the old one.
Warped Tour, you will forever have a place in my heart. <3
No commentsjugs and bells and other things
Can we pretend like we’re besties on a telephone call? OK great! I’ll let you talk in a minute (x87).
This week has been extremely draining. It all started Monday with Warped Tour which was exhausting for a myriad of reasons (it was so hot that day that there were mass casualty plans in effect, apparently) and I just never really regained any of my mental stamina after that. I’ve just been in some frustrating post-Warped Tour fugue state that I’m hoping to finally shake today.
This week wasn’t bad at all by any means though. There were so many awesome comebacks in the Kpop world — they do things a bit differently over there and release several small albums a year, each one paired with a comeback which means: at least one new music video, fan engagements, promotions (making their rounds on all of the weekly music countdown shows), and if we’re lucky – appearances on variety shows!
This week has given us new Triple H (Henry’s review of this was “How has Hyuna not gotten kicked out of Korea by now?” Lol #provocative), Chungha, Ashley, Hyolyn, and MOST IMPORTANTLY: The Great Seungri, BIGBANG’s maknae! His first solo comeback in 5 years is happening right now and you better believe I woke up before the alarm to watch his video and it’s safe to say that it was worth the wait! It’s so different from everything else out there right now and the video is just crammed with that Seungri charm. I love him! I miss BIGBANG so much (the other 4 members are in the army) so this made my heart swell. Thank you, Seungri. You did well!
Here, watch this. HEY, YOU ANSWERED THE PHONE WHEN I CALLED SO JUST FUCKING WATCH THIS WITH ME NOW, UGH:
I just want to share all of the videos on here but I will abstain. I should probably just start a separate music blog at some point so you guys don’t have to have this stuff shoved in your faces anymore; 11 years of post-hardcore, screamo, and sadboy music, and now this!
What else has been happening this week…Oh! I had an annoying trolley experience yesterday after a fairly decent streak of non-issues. But then yesterday, some delusional dad had his kid on the trolley IN SOME TYPE OF OBNOXIOUS TRICYCLE THING.
WITH A BELL.
THE OBNOXIOUS TRICYCLE THING HAD A BELL.
Now, I’m of the mindset that children shouldn’t be allowed on the trolley at all, so you can imagine how incensed I was when that little fucker started RINGING HIS BELL. It was the really loud, alarming kind that’s like TRRRRRRRRRRRING! TRRRRRRRRRRRRING! all metallically. I found myself sitting there, all tense and clenched, bracing for the next ring which actually made the base of my skull ache. It sounded worse than the sound of the imaginary rotary phone that rang when I called you.
Halfway to work, some dumb bitch got on the trolley and sat across from Dipshit Dad and Tricycle Tot.
“OH THAT’S A GREAT BIKE YOU HAVE,” she croaked in a typical Yinzer accent around 50 years of nicotine buildup. “WHY DON’T YOU RING THAT BELL” and to the imaginary friends in my head (not you, the other ones), I asked, “Is there a camera on me? Is my whole fucking life just one episode of Punked now?! AM I MAKING ASHTON KUTCHER RELEVANT AGAIN?!”
So this bitch keeps making the kid ding the damn bell and I’m like internalizing seizures three seats away to the point where I got off FOUR STOPS EARLY AND WALKED ACROSS A FUCKING BRIDGE just to get away from the insanity. I called Henry and he was like, “WHAT? WHAT’S WRONG!” and then I started screaming about how bad my day was going and he was like, “Oh.”
MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE JUST CALLED YOU INSTEAD.
And I had my big water jug in my bag for all of this so my shoulder felt terrific.
Oh, how’s my jug, you’re wondering? Let’s talk about that! I’m still chugging that 물* hard, y’all.
*(Korean for “water.” Thanks for not laughing at my pronunciation.)
One day last week, I was sitting at my desk when Jill stopped over to talk to Regina in her office.
“Wow! That’s a lot of water,” Jill exclaimed. “Are you seriously going to drink all of that?” I assumed she was talking to me and was getting ready to answer, when I heard Regina say something about trying to drink more water.
I started to shift in my seat, wondering how much more water than me Regina was drinking. Did she have a vat? Should I upgrade to a barrel? COULD THAT BE POSSIBLE? YES, WITH A SMALL FLEET OF ST. BERNARDS!
I waited for Regina to leave her office and then I ran over to peek. Lori’s office is right next to Regina’s and I didn’t want her to think I was being a creep so I quickly filled her in. “And I just wanted to see if her water bottle was bigger than mine. Don’t worry, it’s not,” I assured Lori.
Lori laughed. “No one’s jug is bigger than yours, Erin!”
And that was the moment I realized I had a problem.
A competition problem.
“THAT was when you knew?” Henry scoffed when I called him on my lunch break walk.
Anyway, drinking water is such a chore. I guess Instagram knows about my new lifestyle because I keep getting ads for designer 1 gallon water jugs. MAYBE I’LL BUY ONE, INSTAGRAM. YOU DON’T KNOW ME.
Ugh, except that you do.
Speaking of Henry and water, I was obsessing over boats capsizing today while I was walking by the gross river because I’m halfway to a paranoid schizophrenic diagnosis so I asked Henry how a lake could have waves since that duck boat tragedy is all I can think about today.
“Well, it’s like a bathtub…” he started to say, and that’s all I heard to be honest.
I think that’s all I have to talk about right now. Um, I’d love to hear how your week was but I have to hang up now because I have to eat dinner. Ciao for now! OR SHOULD I SAY CHOW FOR NOW, OH!!!
Maybe we’ll talk about Warped Tour next time, OK!?
Proof that my dinner is here:
I told Henry I wanted a ton of vegetables so that’s what I got. Ordering food is easy at Cafe Henrique.
Wait one more thing because this just reminded me. There’s this reality show we’re watching called Roommate where 11 Korean celebrities live together and one of them, the oldest, is this Korean singer who’s in his late 40s and he has a beard and looks all tough but he loves to cook so the housemates nominate him to be the official cook and they call him Shin Omma (Mama Shin) and it reminds me so much of Henry so now I think we should all call Henry “Henry Omma.” Ok let’s.
생일 축하해 태민!
Today is our precious maknae Taemin’s birthday and I would be remiss if I didn’t take some time out of my dumb day to honor him because he has brought a great surplus of joy into my life. (Just watching video compilations of him laughing has been known to greatly improve my mood!) Technically, his birthday is over, but it’s still July 18 here in America so let the celebration continue, I say!
Today, I wore my Taemin socks to work! Carrie thought they were cute. Glenn said I need help.
In case you didn’t know, Taemin is my #2 bias (he’s been doing a great job at filling the void in my heart while G-Dragon is in the military) and he’s in my second favorite Kpop group, SHINee. He was just a baby when they debuted in 2008!
But he somehow grew up to be so dreamy! (That’s literally what Amber called him when I made my group watch a Taemin solo video in honor of his special day, lol, I think she may have been being sarcastic though…..)
I was in a great mood all day! Then I came home and saw that Henry actually went to the store and bought ingredients to bake the Korean cream cake I sent him a recipe for, begging for him to bake it for Taemin’s birthday.
“JUST WHAT I WANT TO DO, WORK ALL DAY, COME HOME AND MAKE YOU DINNER, THEN BAKE A CAKE!” Henry yelled.
So I made my own dinner to help him out! (Cereal and peanut butter toast lol.)
Look at him! Isn’t he the greatest Kpop ahjussi or what!? Oh, the fun we have.
I can’t believe he actually did this for me, I mean, for Taemin. He didn’t even get too surly about it—did I finally break him!?
“Now what?” Henry asked after I blew out the candles. Um, obviously we’re gonna eat the damn thing! It turned out really good, too! Henry is the best housewife, you guys. I mean, what CAN’T he do.
(I’ll answer so you don’t have to: PROPOSE.)
Henry took some pieces over for Blake and Haley. “Did you tell him it’s for Taemin’s birthday?” I asked hungrily.
“Yes, Erin,” he sighed.
“Yeah but, did you specifically say Taemin, or just ‘some Korean guy’?” I pressed on.
“I said Taemin,” Henry said through the web of slumber over his face.
“Well did Blake even wish him a happy birthday?!” I cried, and Henry was like, “*no comment*”
6v6 is the emoticon that represents Taemin; all the members of SHINee have one.
Idol worship is so weird, I know, but it sure does make life fun. It’s nice to have things to celebrate. What a fun Wednesday night!
2 comments
PopSICKLES
Dear e-diary,
Remember how I wanted to walk to the new-ish paleteria in Beechview on Friday to get some refreshing paletas, but then I ended up puking all day instead? Well, you’ll be happy to know that my own person doctor, Henry, diagnosed me with a 24-hour stomach bug and I felt A-OK when I woke up on Saturday! Which meant a Mexican popsicle celebration, naturally.
Here is a short review.
It was something like 90 degrees on Saturday and humid as the air between Trump’s ears, but I insisted that Henry and Chooch walk, not drive, to Alquisiras, where we would then be rewarded with an array of delightful Mexican flavors in frozen form. Chooch brought his scooter and I hate that thing so much but whatever.
It’s only about a 20 minute walk to Beechview, but if you take the longer way it’s all level. Henry argued with me about this and I was like, “Look motherfucker, if you want to be walking up steep ass motherfucking Pittsburgh hills*, be my guest, but I’ll take the nice leisurely route and get there 5 minutes after you.” He can’t bear to be without me, and Chooch was like OH, I’M NOT LUGGING THIS SCOOTER UP A HILL, so it was MY WAY OR NO WAY.
*(Hey, San Fran, I’ll see you out there with your steep-ass fucking streets but Pittsburgh has the country’s** steepest street of all time, so stop hogging our limelight.)
**(Some people claim it’s the steepest in the world, but I think I read there is street in New Zealand that actually holds that record.)
There were so many paletas to choose from and it was a legit struggle. I kept going back and forth between walnut, chili mango, and red currant, but I eventually asked Walnut to mouth-prom because I love nuts, man. It was SO GOOD too but now I’ll just have to go back and try all the other flavors and I can’t really be mad about that.
Chooch got strawberries and cream and was clearly so ready for this picture.
Henry was like, “I’ll just stick with ice cream because I’m square.” He chose pistachio (always a good choice) but then whined later that he wished he had gotten a paleta instead so I guess we have to bring him back with us next weekend, ugh.
Prince of posing in front of murals.
Other things happened on Saturday too, but the one thing that stands out the most is that Henry proved that HE DOESN’T REALLY KNOW ME AT ALL. We were getting ready for bed that night, totally exhausted from a really good Kpop Kardio hour and lots of subtitle-reading (we started watching Roommate because a new episode of Are You Human Too hadn’t yet been released and we needed our Seo Kang Joon fix and by “we” and “our” you know I mean “Henry” and “his.”). We had the a/c on in our room but it was still kind of muggy in there and I was complaining about how I was too hot.
“Well, you’re under the covers.
Take the covers off,” he suggested like I hadn’t already considered this!?
“Yeah, I can do that a little bit but you know I how I have to have my feet covered at all times,” I said.
“……no?” Henry answered with hesitation in his voice.
“Yes you do!” I cried. “Like, everyone knows that about me.” And when Henry didn’t answer, probably because he was flipping through the Rolodex of Erin’s Issues in his head, I tried to help him by dropping clues. “You know, because I don’t want to get my feet lopped off…”
“WHAT?!” he yelled. “By who!?”
“The man with the sickle!” I yelled back, like how was this news to him?! I’m sure I even mentioned this on LiveJournal before and I KNOW I have discussed this with some of my work friends too.
“Oh my god,” Henry sighed. “I don’t even want to know.”
I was so offended that this wasn’t one of those super important facts that he seared into his brain, but I still gave him the run-down about how ever since I was in second grade and we moved into our new house on Gillcrest, I was always terrified to look out of my bedroom window at night because it faced the backyard which was surrounded by woods and our neighbors’ tennis court that was always illuminated just enough at night to make the shadows come to life in ones mind, and I would sneak peeks out the window and swear that someone would be out there, creeping around in the backyard, waiting for me to fall asleep with my feet outside of the blanket so he could lop them off with his sickle and run away with them in a sack slung over his shoulder.
“It’s the same reason why I would always stand at my door, run and leap into my bed at night, so I wouldn’t be standing close enough for the man under my bed to grab my ankles,” I told Henry.
I think he was sleeping by then though.
But yeah, nearly 39 years old and I will never succumb to the man with the sickle! YOU’LL NEVER GET MY FEET, MOTHERFUCKER. Take Henry’s.
2 commentsWarped Wednesday
Even though my feelings toward the scene are less than favorable these days, the sadness of this being the last Warped Tour has finally started to set in and I started to cry about it last night, haha. Seriously, to just get through one day without being so stupidly sentimental!
It’s weird to think of a Warped-less summer when it’s been such a big part of my life for over 10 years. The first one I went to was in 2000 and it was pretty terrible, to be honest. It was in a much smaller venue and I only really cared about seeing AFI, and to be fair, it was actually legitimate punk bands that played back then.
And hilariously, I have never really been into punk.
Then I was supposed to meet Christina at the Columbus, OH date in 2005 but we had a fight or I was suicidal or just having a non-life-threatening mood swing, who knows – 2005 was a disastrous year for me. So I didn’t go and she took her sister instead, I think. The next year, I went with her to the one in her hometown of Cincinnati and it was OK. I was still blogging on LiveJournal back then but all I wrote about was how the engine blew in my fucking car on the way home, so that tells you a lot about how I feel about that particular Warped Tour, lol.
It wasn’t until the next year, 2008, when it started to really feel like Christmas in July for me. I think Christina was supposed to come here for that one but we had a fight or god only knows, so Henry ended up going with me at the last minute and you guys, we had SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER. OK, I’ll rephrase that: I HAD SO MUCH FUN WATCHING HENRY SCOWL AT SCENE KIDS. And ever since that day there was a decree that we would go to every Warped Tour together and you bet your pretty god-given ass that he tries to get out of it every year.
Especially since Chooch started going with us. Then it became, “Why do I still have to go to this? Why can’t I just you guys off at the kids drop-off zone? This is so dumb.” But it’s a FAMILY TRADITION, you guys. And next Monday will be the very last one.
Even though it’s changed so much over the years (hate me all you want, but I miss the neon years of 2007-2011, where the scene queens’ cat-eyes melted down their sweaty faces and their cotton candy hair sizzled and frizzled under the sun. I miss only being able to see one eye on every scene kid with side-swooped fringe bangs. But most of all, I miss the glory days of Pierce the Veil, Chiodos, Emarosa, and Armor for Sleep.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite Warped Tour photos here. I OWN THIS SPACE SO WHY NOT. I mean, I hope that’s OK! Let’s look at them together. We’ll start with 2008 because in my heart, that’s when the magic of Warped Tour truly started for me. *tear*
First let’s start with my collection of commemorative holographic tickets! Henry hates that I pay extra for this every year lol. I don’t have one for 2007 or 2008 which makes me feel like they probably hadn’t started doing that yet, and curiously 2013 doesn’t have one either. I thought maybe I lost it but then I obsessively googled (me, obsessively doing something on the Internet? lol) and I don’t think there was one that year.
And see that one round? FUNNY NOT FUNNG STORY I bought the special Xmas presale bundle for that year’s Warped. It came with socks (haha) and an ornament, which ended up being that round thing up there. The collectors ticket was supposed to be mailed later on, closer to summer. Except when my ticket came IT WAS A NORMAL ONE. I flipped out and started sending emails at which point I was told they had “run out” of the special tickets but anyone who didn’t get one could just bring that ornament (which actually was flat and the same thickness as the tickets are) to use as the “skip the line” but I was like THAT IS NOT WHY I PAY EXTRA FOR THESE TICKETS IT IS LITERALLY BECAUSE I LIKE HAVING THE TICKET so they were like “stop crying child and contact us after Warped Tour. We will see if we have any extras for you” and I was like “DONT THINK I WILL FORGET.”
I didn’t forget. I emailed as soon as Warped Tour was done and was like WHERE IS MY EXTRA TICKET and no one ever responded. WOW.
So of course every time I look at these tickets, that’s the first thing I think about and I feel SICK because I probably have OCD ok. Send one of the Pretty Little Liars to steal my medical records, why don’t you.
2008 Snaps, taken with my Blackberry Curve, I think lol:
My first time seeing Pierce the Veil <3
Blake came to Warped Tour with us that year and it was a bucketload of fun. I’m talking an entire gin-filled bathtub of fun.
2009 Pics:
RIP Scene Queens. :(
2010 Pho-Toes:
I think was when I started bringing my DSLR but I was still posting super small pictures back then so what did it even matter, lol.
I have this picture of Vic Fuentes framed on my wall <3
PAHAHAHAHA Jonny Shitbag Craig.
2011 Picalicktures:
Henry’s brethren. I interviewed Henry about Warped Tour that year and you can read that here if you want, lol.
Austin Carlile, formerly of Of Mice & Men. Their sets always gave me life.
2012 Photographs:
Lol.
This was the year Henry wrote his own Warped Tour blog post!
2013 Visual Relics:
The year Chooch started going with us!
2014 Still Life:
Chooch got sick on this day, unrelated to Warped Tour. He ended up having an ear infection (I think? I CAN’T KEEP TRACK OF ALL OF HIS AILMENTS) and about two hours in, the fever set in. He didn’t want to leave until he got to see his favorite band, The Summer Set, so we had to stay until around 5:00 or 6:00.
They took copious breaks.
Chooch with The Summer Set, delirious but smiling!
2015 Mementos:
Hands Like Houses <3
Chooch and Lynn Gunn from PVRIS! Chooch had recently fallen off his bike or something, again I DON’T KEEP AN ACCIDENT AND AILMENT LOG just haunted house journals and this piece of shit diary, and went to Warped Tour looking totally hardcore with his scraped chin.
Wardrobe change.
One of my favorite Warped Tour moments of all time, I’ll never get over this.
2016 Images:
Man, I’m going to miss that ol’ granddaddy Inflatable. It was tradition to run straight for it as soon as we made it through the gates, even though you could buy the schedule for like $1 or two. Henry always did that while I Gumped my way to the inflatable to scan it for all my favorite bands in a panic because so much heartbreak happened here! This is you would be faced with DECISIONS when there were inevitable overlaps with the bands you wanted to see. WHO WOULD GET SACRIFICED?!
Ugh, my stomach hurts just thinking about all the hard choices I had to make while standing in front of that damn thing.
Chooch always does a wardrobe change at Warped Tour. God forbid we buy him a shirt there and he waits until the next day to wear it. Here he is with Bradley, who was once again responsible for making this the best day ever.
2017 Frozen Visions:
Chooch is in love with Jule Vera.
Henry giving directions, his favorite pasttime!
One of Chooch’s teachers was so excited that he met Gwar. I can’t imagine any of the teachers at his old Catholic school being excited about that unless we met “excited” in the sense that they were excited to help him purge his sins.
***
I could go on and on but no one has time for that so I will end it here and try not to think too much about how this coming Monday will be my last chance to make Warped memories. I thought I was OK with this but MAYBE I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE!?
2 comments
KCON 2018: Night One
After the fun we had at last year’s KCON concerts, I vowed that we would get better seats next year. Not any of those insane packages or whatever, but just one level better.
And I was fully prepared to do just that but then ONE WEEK BEFORE KCON TICKETS WENT ON SALE, BTS TICKETS WENT ON SALE. I honestly didn’t think we would even be able to do both, assuming I could even get BTS tickets. But then by some stroke of Kpop fate, I scored 2 BTS tickets and since they were so high up and still face value, they were pretty reasonably priced. But, not free, which is what they would have had to have been for us to even consider getting KCON upgrades, haha.
So, we were back up in our P3 seats again this year (which is actually very close to where we’ll be sitting for BTS in the fall) and it was fine, more than fine, because I didn’t think we would even be able to go! I felt very grateful.
And, with the exception of G-Dragon, I don’t need to be down there by the stage getting showered in Kpop sweat – this lifestyle is way too rich for my blood at times and I’m more than context looking down from the arena heavens!
Before dropping us off at the Prudential Center like a good Papa H, we had dinner at Top’s Diner, which I found on Yelp and thought it was going to literally be a diner but then we walked in and it was totally pimped out inside! There was a really nice bar/lounge area, and then the rest of the dining area was like Upscale Diner themed.
We had a great waitress and I had a LOVELY Cuban coffee, oh mami, it was so fucking good and I wish I had one in front of me right now because that would certainly help me write this faster. I’ve never had a Cuban coffee before and I can’t believe I wasted so much time. Now I have to research cafes in Pittsburgh to see if I can a fix anywhere.
Anyway, I had a very decent veggie burger here but it was so hearty that I had to take half of it to go, which is good because I knew without a doubt that I would be hungry post-concert and the one thing our shitty hotel actually had was a mini fridge. Hard to believe. But, I guess the regulars need a place to keep their 40s cool.
Three cheers for Tops! I’ll have to remember this for the next time we’re in Newark, which unfortunately will be once a year if we continue going to KCON unless they finally find a way to actually move it to NYC.
Coleslaw was not great, though.
Doors were supposed to be at 6:30 so that’s when we got to the Prudential Center, but of course it was a typical clusterfuck of disorderly lines, confusion, and literally no signage to direction from staff members. Why, KCON, why you do dis? This is the 8th (I think?) annual KCON at this point and you would think by now they would have this down to a science. But instead everyone was asking each other which line they were in and the most popular answer was “no idea, dawg.”
Chooch and I got in the first line we could find an end to, and it was so fucked up because it snaked around so many times that we were actually starting out facing the opposite direction of where the entrance was.
I’ll spare you the nail-biting details, but we were in line for nearly an hour (the concert was slated to start at 7:30 so that wasn’t a heart-stopper or anything) and fucking RAN to our seats once we got inside, just narrowly making it on time. There were still a lot of people out there too once the concert started so that’s really shitty and uncool. I don’t know who’s at fault here, KCON of the Prudential Center staff, but that shit’s gotta change. Part of the benefit of having seats is that you don’t have to camp out to make sure you get a good spot, but even still, if we had arrived any later than we had, we would have missed part of the pre-show. We should have been able to roll up at like 7:15 and just go inside, it was so absurd.
Also, a big Fuck You to the people who bring actual backpacks into those places because that holds the line up so much! WHY DO YOU NEED SO MUCH STUFF?!
The highlight of the line was probably when Chooch saw some girl with some stackable Bambi plushes and he yelled, “I LOVE BAMBI!” at her. She smiled nervously. I guess it was like the time I rushed up to some broad at Riot Fest one year to scream, “I LOVE EMAROSA!” because she was wearing an Emarosa shirt. She was like, “Oh! You startled me.”
That’s…that’s what I do.
Here we are, getting ready for the show, lightsticks in hand!
Guys, day one had a stacked line-up:
- Straykids
- Heize
- PENTAGON!!!!!!!
- Red Velvet!
- SUPER JUNIOR!
I will try to summarize this as succinctly as possible because I know I can get super word-slutty. So I will give you a quick description of each group/artist and post a video for each one, cool? And it will be the official KCON videos, because trust me, mine are awful and I only recorded 30-60 seconds of each group for my own weird sentimental benefits.
Let’s KCON!
- Stray Kids: Prefacing this with “they were formed on a singing survival show” is kind of dumb because that’s how a ton of kpop groups are formed. But nevertheless, they were formed on a reality show called, well, Stray Kids. They’re on JYP Entertainment which is also home to two of our fave groups, Twice and Got7, so needless to say, this group is tight. I only knew two or three of their songs going into this and Chooch didn’t know any, but by the time they were done, we were both sold. It’s hard not feeding off the crowd’s energy and getting effing hyped, you know?! I love kpop fans so much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o44vMCW81Bk
Except for the people behind us. The one, and I started noticing this about 30 minutes, sounded like puberty-pinnacle Peter Brady screaming at the Korean pop music show. At first I was like, “Haha, that’s cute, but I hope they stop doing that after this song.” NOPE. NEVER STOPPED. THEY SOUNDED LIKE A BROKEN FIRE ALARM. And then Chooch was getting mad because he said it smelled like someone behind him was shitting and I’m not saying it was the same person but I’m also not saying it wasn’t the same person.
Still, a minor complaint considering we were treated with such talent all night!
2. Heize: She is not only super fucking beautiful, but she is an extremely talented singer-songwriter. She even self-produces a lot of her own music. She was the only solo artist in the bill this year (last year it was Zion-T) so you know she has huge appeal in this market. And had these subtle, metallic shimmers in her hair that were so cool. I want to be like Heize. :(
3. Pentagon: Guys, I have gushed about them on here before and if there is one group from night one’s line-up that I would stress for anyone reading this to listen to, it’s these boys. I am rooting for them SO HARD. They WRITE THEIR OWN SONGS, and have even written songs for other groups, and they just want people to recognize them for this. When this song debuted last April, I was hooked from the start. Like, 15 seconds in, I knew I was going to watch it 785457 more times that day and learn all their names and read the lyrics and learn the dance (lol, try to anyway). My favorite is E’Dawn, and you probably already know which one he is, but if not, he’s the one that starts out alone on the outer stage with the conductor stick-thing. These guys are no one-hit wonders; they have a bunch of jams in their repertoire (I recommend “Runaway” and “Like This”) but here is a video of them performing my favorite, Chooch’s favorite, and everyone’s favorite:
4. Red Velvet: KCON skimped on the girl groups this year but the ones they gave us more than made up for it. Red Velvet are QUEENS, you guys. They were one of the first girl groups I really got into when I started doing kpop workouts (lol) and I remember being obsessed when I first saw the video for “Dumb Dumb” because it was sooooo quirky. I had some of their videos on at Blake & Haley’s baby shower last year and my friend Kara had to leave the room because she said they were creepy and I wouldn’t go that far but OK. Anyway, they’re on SM Entertainment, which is the #1 kpop agency, a freaking behemoth. Everything that comes out of SM is gold (*cough*SHINee*cough*) and it was such a huge deal to finally get to see these five girls. One of them, Wendy, is American, and when she sang a few lines from Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind,” the hairs on my arms stood up, hoisted themselves out of their follicles, and then walked away, a’quiver. SANG, GIRL, SANG. Sorry, but you get two videos for this one, and the first is when they treated us to Bad Boy with the second half all in English!
5. Super Junior! They were the headliners of the night one, and for good reason: they are fucking iconic in the kpop world! I already wrote about them about here, so I’ll spare you the reiteration. Chooch and I were so excited when they made their grand entrance, and I think it’s safe to say that the tens of thousands of other people there were just as hysterical over it as us! Here you go guys, bask in the legendary greatness that is SUJU:
Henry was so jealous that he missed this!
And as a bonus, here’s a medley they did of their three most popular jams!
In addition to all of this, each group also participated in fan engagements, and there were two special stages: one was a duet with Seulgi from Red Velvet and Yesung from Super Junior, and one was a shared stage with Stray Kids and Pentagon. The whole event just flows seamlessly from one stage to the next so sorry if you have to go to the bathroom, there is no down-time!
I think my favorite part of KCON is looking over and seeing Chooch going ham with his lightstick or capturing his favorite parts of songs on his phone, and smiling through the whole thing. Oh my god, what a great fucking night. And we still had five more groups to see the next night!
No commentsKCON NY 2018: Highs & Lows
Waiting for Henry to Get Breakfast at Dunkin’ Donuts Because We Ate in the “Hotel” Without Him selfie.
I’ve been putting off writing this post because I’ve got some beefaroni with KCON. It was still a good time, don’t get me wrong, but I think that we were spoiled last year so when they changed things up this year, it felt like having the rug pulled out from under our feet.
But first, here is a quick explanation of what KCON is in case you don’t know and are like, “OK but what is KCON.” This is what I do sometimes when I’m trying to redeem myself as a “blogger” – be informative like Wikipedia but with less fact-checking and more typos.
So, KCON is a big Korean-centric convention focusing on K-culture, K-beauty, K-beauty, and most importantly KPOP. Let’s be real, we go for the kpop. There are two KCONs in the US every summer: one in “New York” which is actually Newark but they have to pretend like it’s New York in order to get the big names to agree to come here. The other is later on in the summer in LA and that one is way better than the NY one but Henry is like, “LOL no” every time I suggest we should book a flight.
For NY, it’s a two-day ordeal at the Prudential Center in Newark. During the day, the convention fills up two parking lots and there are Korean food vendors, K-beauty stalls, kpop merch, booths giving away snacks, and tents set up for various panels to take place. At night, there is a big concert inside the Prudential Center, sponsored by MNET Music Countdown, which is an actual countdown show filmed weekly in Korea. Tickets for the concert are exorbitant, and it gets more and more expensive if you want to tack on additional perks, like getting to attend the red Carprt event, getting to participate in a Hi-Touch (more on that in a bit), and obviously getting to stand on the floor by the stage. We’re talking over a grand for this shit, though.
I took this picture when Henry was inside a bank using an ATM. It’s my favorite mirror ever. NO I DON’T HAVE BODY IMAGE ISSUES, YOU DO.
The convention is an additional $20 for both days and last year we walked away with so much swag and prizes that it was more than worth it for us. I know this is going to make me sound like a greedy little entitled bitch, BUT WE BARELY GOT ANYTHING THIS TIME. (We all did get a KCON totebag though.) Also, last year, anyone who registered for the convention portion of the weekend got several scratch offs for an opportunity at a Hi-Touch or to be in the audience for a Fan Engagement. What these things are additional perks that are guaranteed for those who pay for the platinum or gold tickets, but the rest of us plebes at least got a chance.
I ended up getting to go inside and stand in the audience for Up10tion’s fan engagement last year, and it was really cute because they played charades and answered some fan questions, etc. And then the Drama Fever tent was offering more changes if you posted pictures on Instagram using their hashtag and then spinning a wheel. By doing that, I won a HI-TOUCH for KNK!
Speaking of, here’s A BIG LOW: NO DRAMAFEVER BOOTH THIS YEAR?!
You can read about my experience with that here, but the gist is that a Kpop group will stand on a stage behind a table and then the hi-touch winners get to file past them, gently brushing their hands with your own hand. It sounds so ridiculous and I was like “hur hur, this is going to be so lame I can’t believe I’m doing this as a woman in her late 30s” but then it was my turn and I walked out of that room totally shook, and kept stuttering, “They were so beautiful” over and over for the rest of the weekend.
Well friends, KCON realized that they could make more money off of these events so now, in addition to the super-inflated ticket packages, they offered additional fan engagement packagaes, starting at $45. Some of them only came with A CHANCE of winning whatever, but the one thing they all had in common is that you couldn’t choose which group you wanted. So you potentially could be spending so much more money only to wind up with a fan engagement for a group you don’t even care about.
This is why people walk around the convention all day holding up signs for fan engagement trades.
So right there, that was one pretty big low for us. Not having that frantic, hand-quivering scratch-off moment was sad because it was such a fun part of KCON Last year. We paid $20 for a convention and they didn’t even give us, like, a sticker. Or a button. A peppermint would have been nice, too.
A highlight was that now they had the area around the Prudential Center more blocked off with security set up at every entrance so that we only had to have bags searched once instead of every single time we wanted to visit a different part of the convention (there are two big parking lots with only one way in, so you have to get your wristband scanned each time you enter). Last year, it was a big hassle, especially after we started to accumulate more stuff. So that was nice to be able to get in to the different sections with more ease.
The first thing we did was some clusterfuck of a photo zone, where you had to go to all four areas, take your picture, post them all on social media, and then go to some table and show the guy that you did it. Then he let you draw a ball out of a bucket for a chance at fan engagements.
IT TOOK FOREVER TO DO THIS BECAUSE EACH ONE HAD A LINE.
Also my hair looks like shit because the hairdryer in our “hotel” was broken so air-dried hair for me.
Anyway, we did not win. I was pretty irritated about this.
More lows: All the good stuff was crammed under a big tent in one of the lots. The Lotte booth, the McDonald’s booth, the Bibigo booth which was handing out amazing samples last year, the Melona booth, various kpop merch booths…all of these things were under the tent and the lines were outrageous and intermingled so you never knew what line you were in and you couldn’t move and it was enough to send even the most extroverted person into shut-in mode. Literally, I felt like so many people were breathing on me and I couldn’t handle it, especially when I was standing in line to spin the wheel at the Melona booth and some girl asked me which line was to purchase the Melona bars and the big mouth white girl behind me took it upon herself to bellow the answer into the back of my head and I was pretty much done at that point.
SIDE BAR: Other than that one girl though, everyone else was fine. It’s really nice getting to be surrounded by tons of people who share a love for all things Korea when you typically get mocked for it on a daily basis! And my general observation for the past two years is that people here aren’t jerks. You don’t get pushed or shoved or glared at. Everyone is polite and friendly and wanting to make friends with other stans of their favorite groups. So I would say “the attendees” is another high.
Last year, everything was more spread out. But that particular lot was mayhem because it also had the KCON stage (a small stage set up for artist interviews, dance performances, etc. throughout the day) so there was always a decent crowd for that and it bled right into the MASSIVE line for official KCON merch because they ONLY HAD ONE BOOTH. You guys, I stood in that line for AN HOUR later on in the day, because I kept thinking that the later I waited, the shorter the line would be, but NO it was ALWAYS THAT LONG.
We never even got any Bibigo samples because everything inside that fucking tent was such a cluster.
We did take some pictures at whatever this thing was, which was cool because I love Pentagon and Chooch loves GOT7.
Chooch won these light-up glasses from some State Farm lady while I was in line for a free makeup sample.
So many lines.
Melona bars are so good! Chooch spun the wheel and won a Melona toothbrush which is a toothbrush in a case that looks just like a melon Melona bar and I was so mad because he was all, “I hope we don’t win the toothbrush” but I WANTED to win the toothbrush, so when he won it I was like, “Yay, gimme!” but he all of a sudden changed his tune and decided this was a grand prize and then suggested THAT WE SHARE IT!?
Um ew, you can have it.
Right after this, Chooch and I were standing in line to enter a contest for Asiana Airlines and Chooch’s preteen ‘tude began to rub me the wrong way and then Henry meandered over and exacerbated the situation and I can’t even remember what the impetus was at this point but I exploded and we all had a Big Fight and then Henry was like I AM LEAVING AND NOT JUST TO GO BACK TO THE HOTEL* I AM GOING BACK TO PITTSBURGH.
*(LOL@HOTEL)
Somehow, this made Chooch and I resolve our blood feud with one knowing glance, and by doing so, we teamed up against Henry who suddenly became THE ENEMY. So while Henry stormed off to one of the exits, thinking Chooch and I were following him like we’re his puppies or something, we hung back and sat down on a wall, trying to figure out what to do.
Meanwhile, Henry texted me using regular text and not Kakao which was his way of illustrating the level of anger he was at because KAKAO IS JUST FOR FRIENDS.
“The Lyft will be here in 5 mon” his first text said.
And then: “min.”
LOL, what a loser.
“Let’s just stay,” Chooch said. “I want to go to the concert tonight. We can’t leave!” and then he flipped through the Convention program and said, “Here, let’s find something that you want to do” and that’s how we became Best Friends again and found ourselves under one of the tents in the lesser-populated areas, listening to three of my favorite YouTubers talk about meeting Kpop idols. And this was hilarious to me because I was never one who “had favorite YouTubers” until I became obsessed with Korea and now here I was, getting all emotional at seeing Jre, WhitneyBaeIRL, and HeyIt’sFei sitting at a table and talking to us.
Even Chooch was like *pulls out phone and records*.
Then we wrote on this big chalkboard wall because why wouldn’t we.
CAN YOU TELL WHICH ONE IS MINE.
About an hour went by and Chooch and I were starting to get The Hunger so I was trying to decide if I wanted to continue to stand creepily near WhitneyBaeIRL while debating asking for a picture, or if I wanted to go back to the ATM near the flattering mirrored poles because food was cash only and Henry Warbucks took it all with me.
Just then, Chooch exclaimed, “Haha, look!” and pointed across the parking lot where HENRY was sadly lumbering around alone, camerabag around his body in the ultimate dad-fashion. OMG he looked like such a perv, like he was there solely to satisfy his Korean kink (OMG Chooch used this word the other day and I was like, “WTF CHOOCH” and he said, “What, would you rather I say festish?” Whhhyyyyyyyy), and we had to lean against a fence because we were laughing so fucking hard.
“He just walked by Terry TV!” I screamed, choking on laughter, at the sight of Henry walking past a big YouTuber and being blissfully unaware about it. Then Henry spotted us and meandered on over and we were like, “WOW SHOULDN’T THAT LYFT HAVE BEEN HERE 60 MON AGO?”
LOL@mon.
Henry tried to act like he only came back because we “needed” him even though neither of us called or texted him to come back, so.
Then we ate BiBimBoppers (fried balls with bibimbap inside, super good but we only got two for !!
) and tteokbokki and I don’t know what Henry had, something on a stick. They were actually both still in their own respective lines (we split up accordingly to maximize efforts) when Super Junior took the KCON stage so I had to run over to that crazy lot alone just to see them.
By the time I got there, I had already missed most of it but it was cool to see them! In my head though I was like, “LOL, I was much closer to them in NYC.”
This particular tteokbokki was actually spicier than any of the kinds I had in actual Korea, and it was ALMOST too spicy even for me. Chooch couldn’t handle it and I couldn’t finish mine which is unheard of when it comes to my stomach and tteokbokki.
This was the only open space in this particular area and only because it was near the exit.
THEN PENTAGON CAME OUT ON THE KCON STAGE!! Out of all the groups in this year’s lineup, they were the ones I was most excited to see. I think they’re so fun and talented and exude a positive energy and mystique that draws me in and makes me want to learn more about then, which means watching videos called “4 minutes of Pentagon speaking in English” or “Pentagon showing their aegyo” or “Pentagon 2x dance compilation.”
Oh Kpop, you make it so hard to just be a part-time stan.
Papa H took this picture with the “good camera” which I didn’t know he was doing until I turned around and he had the look of “Gotta get these pics for my daughter” concentration on his face. Oh, Henry.
Heize came out after that and it was really interesting learning more about her because she low-key is an extremely talented singer-songwriter and she does a lot of self-producing as well. I know people tend to view Kpop as a super pre-manufactured industry and I can’t even get defensive about that because it really isn’t wrong, but there are some people who are true artists in every sense and take the reigns when it comes to the creative process. Pentagon is this way as well and it just makes me have mad respect. They even said that they want to be known as a group who writes their own songs, so now you guys know!
Another Big High was when we witnessed this kid dancing to Hyolyn’s Dally. I was like, “OMG THIS SONG RLY?” because the choreo is insanely provocative, complete with floor-humping, but yeah, he did that.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention this other Big High: while I was standing in the super long merch line (the girls behind me complimented me on my idol keychains and said they got excited when they saw that one is Jimin and I didn’t even mind that they were touching them that’s how happy I was to feel like I belonged somewhere), the kpop dance cover contest started up on the KCON stage. I was happy that I was at least able to see that from the slow-moving line I was in because it was entertaining.
And then, while one of the dance groups was dancing to BTS’s “Fake Love,” the song stopped playing and there was a split second of WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN but then some people in the audience STARTED SINGING so that the dancers could finish their routine and I’d have to remove the “Honestly” from my blog name if I sat here and told you that I didn’t cry. It was so touching and inspirational! This video is really worth watching.
I was reading the comments and it’s all, “They didn’t even know the words though” and let me tell you something, I know very little of the Korean parts to even my FAVORITE, most-played Kpop songs. I’m not a big singer to begin with (I always do the monotone humming with random screamed words) and even if someone was like, “THINK FAST, FINISH THIS LYRIC TO A SUPER POPULAR SONG BY YOUR FAVORITE BAND THE CURE!” I would be like, “……………………………um……………………………” So it bothers me that there were so many negative comments attempting to overshadow what was a really beautiful moment shared by the Kpop community.
Then we saw my SUPER FAVORITE KOREAN YOUTUBER JOAN KIM at the Innisfree tent and we wanted a picture but got there too late and the Korean guys behind us were like super sad that they missed an opportunity but I was just as happy to snap a paparazzi shot from where I was standing and be done with it. Seriously though, watching Joan’s videos ended up sculpted a good bit of our Korea itinerary much to Henry’s chagrin, haha. He was NOT stoked to see her, yet he was the one that pointed her out earlier. “LOOK WHO IT IS” he said, trying to act like he didn’t care, but he sure did notice, didn’t he!?
It was about 4pm by this point, so we decided to skip the last 2 hours of the convention, go back to the “hotel” to freshen up, and then got some dinner before Chooch and I headed back to the Prudential Center for the concert. STAY TUNED FOR THAT RECAP! IT WAS SO GOOD! AHHH!!!
Here’s a special treat for those who made it to the end! Henry is going to tell you what he did when he bluffed and said he was GOING BACK TO PITTSBURGH (I wish you could have heard me say that just now in the voice I use to mock him).
I can’t remember exactly how the whole situation started, I’m sure I did not exacerbate the situation at all.
All I remember is walking away pissed off and ready to leave, which I did right out the gate and didn’t look back once. Once out of the gate, I brought up the Lyft app to get a ride back to the hotel, where I could get the car and drive back to Pittsburgh, instead I decided to go get something to eat instead since I was hungry, pretty sure that is why Erin blew up for absolutely no reason, hunger does that to her. After eating I went back in to the convention and walked around not looking for anybody in particular, especially the ones I came with. After a while we happened to run in to each other, actually they were creeping on a You Tuber and didn’t see me. Then tried to play it off like they were not worried about being left in Newark alone. I wouldn’t do that to Chooch. Wouldn’t do it Erin either, I love her too much!! Maybe next time Ill actually leave and teach her a lesson.
LOL ok, none of this is true and I just asked him where he allegedly ate and he said he ate “in a store”, so what, a Slim Jim and Zagnut?
No commentsSuper Random Super Junior
Picture it: New York City, 2018. It was a whirlwind day of driving to Newark from Pittsburgh, which should have only taken about 6 hours but when does it ever work out that way, you know?
We had tossed around the idea of possibly taking the train into NYC from Newark if we got in early enough because honestly what the hell is there to possibly do in Newark on a Friday night that’s family friendly? I mean I’m sure there is something but I didn’t care enough to look because I wanted to take a train somewhere lol.
#kidgoals
The LiveBlog from Friday already told you that we did indeed make it into Newark early enough for a quick foray into NYC to be worthwhile. It only cost about $20 for round trip tickets for the three of us so that was a delightful surprise.
Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I will have a post just for that portion of the evening but today I am here to talk about the happiest of all accidents.
We were just casually strolling down a street toward Times Square, Chooch rambling on about how we’re so mean for not trying to get him a ticket to Hamilton, me trying to avoid falling into potholes or puddles of puke (I almost always walk with my head down because I’m so clumsy), when Henry clamped his meat-hand down on my shoulder and said, “LOOK.”
I was annoyed for a second and bristled visibly at being man-handled, but then my tune changed drastically as my eyes finally focused on what Henry saw.
FREAKING KPOP ICONS SUPER JUNIOR.
Real quick, a condensed history to give you some perspective on how cool this was: Super Junior is one of the biggest Kpop groups in the world. They’re one of the SM Entertainment godfathers, debuting back in 2005 and they’ve been heavily credited for helping spread the Hallyu Wave. From wiki:
Super Junior have earned thirteen music awards from the Mnet Asian Music Awards, sixteen from the Golden Disc Awards, and are the second singing group to win Favorite Artist Korea at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards after jtL in 2003.[4] In 2012, they were nominated for “Best Asian Act” in MTV Europe Music Awards.[5] In 2015, they won the “International Artist” and “Best Fandom” in the Teen Choice Awards.[6]
They currently have seven members in their lineup, but one of them (Heechul, my favorite) doesn’t perform with them anymore due to health issues, but he does appear on a ton of variety shows and he’s awesome. I think two members are currently in the military, 2 are inactive, and two other original members have permanently left the group. It’s really hard to keep up if you’re not a super fan (or an ELF, which is what their fandom is called. Duh.).
So yeah, back to this surreptitious run-in with SUJU!
The first one I saw was Siwon, looking totally unapproachable and regal in his black suit. I started trembling immediately and just kept murmuring, “Oh my god, holy shit” over and over, because OMG HOLY SHIT SUPER JUNIOR IS STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF ME AND THERE IS NO BARRICADE SEPARATING US.
Honestly, this is what I wanted to happen when we were strolling about Toronto last summer before the G-Dragon concert but I think I thought about it too hard and it broke the Fate Fairy’s wand.
In the striped shirt over there is Eunhyuk WHO JUST FILMED A DANCING REALITY SHOW WITH ..:::TAEMIN:::.. IN LA, UGHHHHH. And the guy in the suit with his back toward to the camera is the most handsomest one, Donghae. I didn’t even notice him until moments later when he took off his jacket and speed-walked past me, taking my BREATH WITH HIM.
Also, I guess I don’t feel too creepy salivating over these guys because they’re all in their 30s like me and not questionably underage like some of the boy groups out there, lol.
The girl in the yellow pants is Leslie Grace, who sings on Lo Siento with them. I never heard of her, but she is apparently an American tropical singer. She made a special appearance the next night at KCON to perform Lo Siento with them and it was really exciting! I figured they would probably just have one of the girls from Red Velvet fill her spot.
Ugh this dumb broad had the worst photobombing timing ever — this was the best photo I could get of Donghae and he is seriously the best handsome one, in my opinion. I already thought so (ask Henry, he’ll roll his eyes) but good Lord seeing him that close, as he walked past me, it made my knees buckle. What a perfectly gorgeous man, it’s almost unfair.
I replayed this moment over and over again in my head.
Here’s a picture of his whole face so you can see his flawless visage:
Since this was America, the throng of fans was pretty scant, with us being the only non-Asians. But we all kept a respectful distance. One young Asian girl had this huge-ass paparazzi camera though so that was pretty funny.
Look at all the people walking by, oblivious to their proximity to Korean greatness!
Here is the portion of the event where my hands were shaking so bad that I slid my camera options to square format. The guy over there in the yellow on the left, you see the sliver of him holding the birthday gift bag? That’s the leader of SUJU, LeeTeuk. I unfortunately didn’t notice him at the time, so this is the best picture I could get.
I also missed Yesung, which sucks because he is so fucking adorable.
HOWEVER!!!
I did manage to work up the courage to ask Shindong, who was standing alone at the moment, for a picture and he was so nice to us! I wasn’t sure if this was breaking any rules or what, because I didn’t notice any of the other gawkers and oglers asking for pictures, but I saw the opportunity and had to pounce on the now-or-never moment. If he was talking to someone, I wouldn’t have asked. But he was just chilling there, so I took a deep breath and just went for it and he was so nice! “Picture? Sure!” he said and I was like, “Is this is a dream.
”
I pushed Chooch over there because he is my proxy when it comes to posing with celebs, monuments, landmarks, statues, Welcome to [State] signs….But look at Chooch’s face! Even he knows how unexpectedly magical this moment was! Shindong was so nice and I stupidly said thank you to him in English instead of Korean because my brain was causing my motor functions to run backward at that time and honestly, I’m lucky I was even able to say it in English and not some make-believe Alien jibberish. Also, I didn’t drop my phone either, which is a miracle because my hands were shaking so badly. I couldn’t get my nervous system to shut the fuck up for a good solid three hours after this happened, and I just kept saying over and over, “I can’t believe we saw Super Junior. I can’t believe Shindong put his hand on Chooch’s shoulder.” And then it was “SHINDONG PUT HIS HAND ON CHOOCH’S SHOULDER. SHINDOG IS FRIENDS WITH TAEMIN. SHINDONG HAS PROBABLY DEFINITELY TOUCHED TAEMIN 100S OF TIMES. CHOOCH LET ME RUB MY FACE ON YOUR SHOULDER” and you can guess how well that went over.
Also, before I close this chapter, can we just talk about how adorable it is that Henry is the one who recognized them first? Henry unabashedly loves Super Junior though and I think he was honestly a little sad that he wasn’t going to the concert the next night.
Here is their recent music video for Lo Siento with Leslie Grace, in case anyone cares.
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tuesday thinks & thoughts.
In a few days, Warped Tour is launching into its final summer tour. This will be my 13th and last Warped Tour and I have a lot of feelings about this.
I’m not as upset about it as I might have been a few years ago. Even just two years ago. The obvious reason might be that I’m just more into Korean music now and haven’t been keeping up with that scene, and that’s a little bit correct. But the truth is that Kpop actually helped me distance myself from a music scene spilling over with domestic violence, statutory rape, and complete disdain and disrespect for the female members of that community.
I know that “rock-n-roll” has always been synonymous with lewd behavior but when guys in bands are using their “status” to abuse girls in various ways, that’s just unacceptable and I’m sick of hearing the excuses of “she asked for it” or “he was drunk” or “he didn’t know she was underage.” Maybe it’s me getting older and having less tolerance for bullshit, or maybe I have some latent feminism in me after all, but the last several years have made me so angry and disappointed, when all I wanted to do was go to shows and support the bands I loved. You can argue that these things should be kept separate from the music, but….should they really? Should we really turn a blind eye just because we like the songs that a date-rapist sings on stage to 200 people at a dive bar?
It started with Jonny Craig. I loved his music, I loved his voice, I loved the bands he was in, and I really loved seeing him perform live—even when he was too fucked up to remember the lyrics. But there comes a point when too many girls start speaking out, and it’s hard to ignore that. It’s hard not to believe it. And it’s hard to keep supporting someone like that.
Yet, he continues to have some semblance of a career because the #MeToo movement isn’t taken as seriously in this music scene, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the immature sheep-mentality of the kids* who follow these bands who continue to blindly support their monster idols, which makes the record labels more reluctant to drop these bands because $$$$$. Maybe it’s the fact that this is such a male-dominated scene and bros would rather defend their rapist/abuser homies than grow a fucking backbone and leave the band or the tour.
*(The girls who still defend him make me sick to my stomach and I hope that someday they grow up and realize what a disservice they did as a representative of our gender. And I hope that they don’t have a daughter who becomes a victim to some asshole’s testosterone-fueled entitlement.)
And that brings us to Warped Tour, which continually books bands who are notorious for misogynist behavior, or have members who assault women on the tour bus, or whose drug addiction is a danger to themselves and everyone around them. It’s really hard for me to justify my decision to attend this festival, which has becoming nothing more than a breeding ground for sex-violence. I will be the first to admit that I am a fucking hypocrite because I bought a ticket for the last ever tour, knowing that, for instance, Falling In Reverse will be there, a band with a singer who is notorious for his history of domestic violence.
But I know that there are also a lot of bands there who AREN’T like that, who ARE pure in their intentions, and there are great organizations and charities who will be there as usual. Is that enough to counteract the dark side of Warped? Eh…nope.
There was speculation that Warped was calling it quits because of all the recent bands who have been accused of sexual harassment/violence over the last several years, or the fact that attendance has been dropping, but the founder of Warped Tour denies that. Still, one can’t help but wonder.
Let’s see if these jackass boys can behave themselves for one final summer run.
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