Archive for June, 2018
NYC in Photos
If you read that trainwreck of a liveblog from last week, you know that we had some free time last Friday and actually got our shit together in enough time to take the train from Newark to Penn Station. We’re getting a little better at these things. I mean, we’re still bumbling tourists, but we got on a train heading in the right direction, so that was cool, and we all ended up sitting separately which served as a perfectly-timed reprieve after spending all day in the car together. BYYYYEEEE BITCHES.
For an entire 30 minutes, anyway. Sigh.
Chooch of course made friends with the people he sat with. I did NOT make friends with the guy next to me. I’m not sure where Henry was sitting and never bothered asking him how his ride was because, Henry.
Aside from going to Central Park so Chooch could catch idiotic Pokemon and then running into Super Junior (!!!!), we mostly just walked around and looked at things, flipped off Trump Tower, sang the NO YOU AREN’T GETTING ANY DESIGNER CLOTHING song to Chooch while walking down Fifth Avenue, and had a highly anticipated food-related hunger blow-out. So basically, it was the Oh Honestlys in [insert literally any city, ever].
Because we’re in the middle of a heat wave and I have spent way too much outside, my brain is goo so I’m just going to post a shit ton of photos I took with my phone and call it a day*, because I already reported all the exciting things. The rest was just us literally walking and walking and walking like we do in cities. Let’s just say that even after spending 7 hours in the car that day, I still managed to get 23,000 steps.
*(I just finished writing this whole thing and came back up here to say, “lol, nice try Erin, this piece of shit post is still over 1,100 words.”)
Here’s Chooch, as close as he’s gonna get to Hamilton. (He’s obsessed with Hamilton, I mean, who isn’t, I guess). This was right before we saw Super Junior! The same sidewalk!!!
Chooch in Times Square. I thought he would be overwhelmed, but he was like, “Well, we were in Seoul, so….” #SeoulFTW #SorryNYC
I just kept taking pictures. That’s what you’re supposed to do there, right?
I always hear that Times Square often plays kpop stuff on the screens there but I didn’t notice anything on this particular day.
Those Minnie Mouses back there next to the texting Statue of Liberty were actually old ladies. Henry was obsessed with them.
Every time Chooch saw an adult shop, lingerie store, or anything relating to women, he would scream, “OH, HE LOOKED!” and Henry was just like, “FUNNY HOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS SEES THESE THINGS FIRST, THOUGH” and it is pretty funny, actually. What a fun game! Anyway, Chooch nearly fell into a garbage can in his urgent attempt to catch Henry looking at the giant Aerie ads up there.
We had fun telling Chooch he couldn’t go in the Lego store, lol. That place is like the equivalent of a hardware store to me.
Obligatory pictures.
OMG we were dying over Henry squatting to tie his shoe because it brought back memories of him squatting down in front of my pink backpack in Busan Station, so we were in tears and Henry was like, “IT’S NOT FUNNY*” as he pushed past us. Chooch and I have so much fun together at Henry’s expense.
*(Honestly, it’s definitely not that funny to anyone else but Chooch and me, like the time Janna hit her head getting off the train at Kennywood and I had to run to the bathroom while I was trying to tell Barb about it the next day at work because I thought I was going to pee my pants. I guess I was just born with extra funny bones. #birthdefect)
This was taken while some guy was yelling, “THERE’S A FUCKIN’ FENCE THERE!!” when his wife suggested walking a certain way and just in case you think I’m being all subtle here because it was actually me and Henry, let me remind you that I AM NOT HIS WIFE NOR WILL I EVER BE because I’m holding out for a hero Korean.
Another great “Overheard in NYC” convo was when we were waiting to cross the street and some broad was scream-talking into her cell phone about some guy who’s engaged to a girl “AND EVERYONE KNOWS HE’S GAY” and I wanted to hear more about this but the light changed.
KOREATOWN!! Of course we had to go to Koreatown. Unfortunately, it was reaching prime time on a Friday night and every restaurant had a long wait.
<3 G-Dragon <3
You would never see anything like this in stupid backward Pittsburgh.
Anyway, around this time, Chooch and I were reaching the Hunger Apex and it was Big Trouble In Little Korea for real, trying to find a place on a Friday night that was family friendly, and then Henry was like, “HERE LET’S EAT AT THIS PIZZA PLACE THAT’S SMALLER THAN OUR KITCHEN AND POTENTIALLY HAS ROACHES” and I was like, “You can go fuck yourself, Hank” and then it was all, “THEN LET’S JUST GO BACK TO NEWARK, THIS IS FUCKED!!!” and Chooch was like, “YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SO HUNGRY THAT I ATE MY HUNGER AND NOW I’M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE, THANKS FOR BEING SHITTY PARENTS” but then right before Henry had a chance to make good on his bluff of going back into Penn Station, I looked on Yelp and found some pizza place around the corner called NY Pizza Suprema and was like, “IT’S HERE OR A VENDING MACHINE, MOTHERFUCKERS” and since I picked it, it ended up being some award-winning joint that Anthony Bourdain (rip) has visited.
But we had no idea about that until after we sat down with our pizza.
It thankfully wasn’t too crowded, though it definitely wasn’t quiet, so we were able to quickly order and appease the hunger demons.
The one on the left is vegan (lol, I eat cheese, but I wanted to see if it was any good and it actually was super fucking good) and the one on the right was Hot Honey, which was fucking fantastic and oh, how I wish I had an entire pie in front of me right now. It literally had some local hot honey drizzled on top of hearty clumps of ricotta and the best specks of mushrooms I’ve ever had on a pizza. It was just what I didn’t know I needed.
There’s a picture of Anthony Bourdain hanging up there. :(
Chooch and Henry both got sicilian slices and I’m happy to report that everyone was extremely satisfied and we were magically transformed back into a happy family. Thank you, NY Pizza Suprema.
Henry, earlier that day: “We can go if we get to Newark early enough because I don’t want to be in NYC at night.” Lol ok.
And then we got back on the train to Broad Station. We all got to sit together this time, which was fine I guess since we were on speaking terms again. It was fun watching all of the weirdos trying to interact with people.
Then we went back to our “hotel,” which was even BETTER AT NIGHT, you can probably imagine. What a great town Newark is.
No commentsChooch Catch-Up: Central Park Edition
Let’s catch up with Chooch! I asked him some questions and then made him do all the typing because I typed all day at work and I AM DONE TYPING FOR THE DAY.
Latest Injury: Well, my latest injury happened on the 26th of June. A little backstory, I was with my friends, lets call them Kyle and Joe, when we decided to ride our bikes and scooters up to the boulevard. After riding up there, we hung out at the Cannon. I noticed my other friend, Bob with his two other brothers, wearing their helmets and dressed all nice, riding their bikes past the cannon. I called for them and they said they were heading for the park to go for a hike. We all tagged along, we started from a group of 3, then doubling to 6. Upon getting to the trail entrance, we split ourselves up into two troops. I was in Troop 1, with Kyle and Bob. We set our rides on the outside of the trail then continued forward. After hiking for a while, we made it to a clearing filled with weeds and tall grasses. We followed a path up a steep hill and we, Troop 1 was far ahead. So, we decided to hide from the opposing troop. I hid behind a tree, as the others did, but I felt like I wasn’t hidden as well. I jumped down deeper into the woods, then felt a pain in my foot. I fell to the ground and called out in pain. Everyone doubted at first, but they soon came to understand that I wasn’t lying. Troop 2 caught up and noticed me holding in the tears. I showed them all the bottom of my shoe, and they all saw it, too. The bottom of a glass shard pierced through. After unlacing my shoe we all saw the glass poking out. I took my sock off, and the oldest kid there said to tie it around the wound to put pressure. As they tried to get the glass out of my shoe, one of my friends called their dad to see if they could come get us, but we were in the middle of the woods, not really knowing where to go. His dad refused, so we just put my shoe back on, then tried to find our way out. I was in a Summer Program before, and we took this trail to get to the local park. We took it often and I kind of remember some of the areas we walked through. We made our way out to the park, and luckily the park had a Rec Center. So I made my way there, stumbling on every 10 steps. I opened the door and told the lady working there. She gave me a band-aid and had me apply some antibiotics on the cut. I threw away my sock and put my shoe back on. I grabbed my scooter from Kyle, then noticed that my other friend, Joe ditched us and went home. Kyle and I started to head home, too. We said goodbye to Bob and his brothers, then rode off into the busy Boulevard streets.
Current Favorite Song: My current favorite song is Empty by Boyinaband & Jaiden.
Current Favorite KPOP Song: My current favorite Kpop song is Energetic by Wanna One.
Favorite Memory From KCON Weekend: My favorite memory from Kcon Weekend is when I peed all over the Hotel Hallway floor! XD
What If Henry Was Into Fishing, Would You Go With Him, Ew Gross: Ha Ha! No! Maybe. Depends on if I like him at that time, and if we put the fish back.
Most-Missed Part of 6th Grade: Nothing. Maybe, my Math teacher I won’t have next year.
Least-Missed Part of 6th Grade: Ms. ~OH I’M SORRY! DR. Smith.
Favorite Thing You Ate In Korea: Tteokbokki! I loved the spiciness that was in there. It was just so tasty in my mouth! Especially the twig-um and the Tteok Kkochi (Tteokbokki on a skewer)!
If You Could Be Any Character On How I Met Your Mother, Who Would It Be and Why? I would be Barney because I love his sense of humor and personality. He is just my favorite character in general. I also liked how he would just stop listening in the middle of a conversation! Just like me!
Closing Thoughts, Advice To The Readers, Freeform: Audience, have a nice day, or night, and do something cool! Like walk around your block and pet some dogs! Adios!
No commentsSuper Random Super Junior
Picture it: New York City, 2018. It was a whirlwind day of driving to Newark from Pittsburgh, which should have only taken about 6 hours but when does it ever work out that way, you know?
We had tossed around the idea of possibly taking the train into NYC from Newark if we got in early enough because honestly what the hell is there to possibly do in Newark on a Friday night that’s family friendly? I mean I’m sure there is something but I didn’t care enough to look because I wanted to take a train somewhere lol.
#kidgoals
The LiveBlog from Friday already told you that we did indeed make it into Newark early enough for a quick foray into NYC to be worthwhile. It only cost about $20 for round trip tickets for the three of us so that was a delightful surprise.
Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I will have a post just for that portion of the evening but today I am here to talk about the happiest of all accidents.
We were just casually strolling down a street toward Times Square, Chooch rambling on about how we’re so mean for not trying to get him a ticket to Hamilton, me trying to avoid falling into potholes or puddles of puke (I almost always walk with my head down because I’m so clumsy), when Henry clamped his meat-hand down on my shoulder and said, “LOOK.”
I was annoyed for a second and bristled visibly at being man-handled, but then my tune changed drastically as my eyes finally focused on what Henry saw.
FREAKING KPOP ICONS SUPER JUNIOR.
Real quick, a condensed history to give you some perspective on how cool this was: Super Junior is one of the biggest Kpop groups in the world. They’re one of the SM Entertainment godfathers, debuting back in 2005 and they’ve been heavily credited for helping spread the Hallyu Wave. From wiki:
Super Junior have earned thirteen music awards from the Mnet Asian Music Awards, sixteen from the Golden Disc Awards, and are the second singing group to win Favorite Artist Korea at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards after jtL in 2003.[4] In 2012, they were nominated for “Best Asian Act” in MTV Europe Music Awards.[5] In 2015, they won the “International Artist” and “Best Fandom” in the Teen Choice Awards.[6]
They currently have seven members in their lineup, but one of them (Heechul, my favorite) doesn’t perform with them anymore due to health issues, but he does appear on a ton of variety shows and he’s awesome. I think two members are currently in the military, 2 are inactive, and two other original members have permanently left the group. It’s really hard to keep up if you’re not a super fan (or an ELF, which is what their fandom is called. Duh.).
So yeah, back to this surreptitious run-in with SUJU!
The first one I saw was Siwon, looking totally unapproachable and regal in his black suit. I started trembling immediately and just kept murmuring, “Oh my god, holy shit” over and over, because OMG HOLY SHIT SUPER JUNIOR IS STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF ME AND THERE IS NO BARRICADE SEPARATING US.
Honestly, this is what I wanted to happen when we were strolling about Toronto last summer before the G-Dragon concert but I think I thought about it too hard and it broke the Fate Fairy’s wand.
In the striped shirt over there is Eunhyuk WHO JUST FILMED A DANCING REALITY SHOW WITH ..:::TAEMIN:::.. IN LA, UGHHHHH. And the guy in the suit with his back toward to the camera is the most handsomest one, Donghae. I didn’t even notice him until moments later when he took off his jacket and speed-walked past me, taking my BREATH WITH HIM.
Also, I guess I don’t feel too creepy salivating over these guys because they’re all in their 30s like me and not questionably underage like some of the boy groups out there, lol.
The girl in the yellow pants is Leslie Grace, who sings on Lo Siento with them. I never heard of her, but she is apparently an American tropical singer. She made a special appearance the next night at KCON to perform Lo Siento with them and it was really exciting! I figured they would probably just have one of the girls from Red Velvet fill her spot.
Ugh this dumb broad had the worst photobombing timing ever — this was the best photo I could get of Donghae and he is seriously the best handsome one, in my opinion. I already thought so (ask Henry, he’ll roll his eyes) but good Lord seeing him that close, as he walked past me, it made my knees buckle. What a perfectly gorgeous man, it’s almost unfair.
I replayed this moment over and over again in my head.
Here’s a picture of his whole face so you can see his flawless visage:
Since this was America, the throng of fans was pretty scant, with us being the only non-Asians. But we all kept a respectful distance. One young Asian girl had this huge-ass paparazzi camera though so that was pretty funny.
Look at all the people walking by, oblivious to their proximity to Korean greatness!
Here is the portion of the event where my hands were shaking so bad that I slid my camera options to square format. The guy over there in the yellow on the left, you see the sliver of him holding the birthday gift bag? That’s the leader of SUJU, LeeTeuk. I unfortunately didn’t notice him at the time, so this is the best picture I could get.
I also missed Yesung, which sucks because he is so fucking adorable.
HOWEVER!!!
I did manage to work up the courage to ask Shindong, who was standing alone at the moment, for a picture and he was so nice to us! I wasn’t sure if this was breaking any rules or what, because I didn’t notice any of the other gawkers and oglers asking for pictures, but I saw the opportunity and had to pounce on the now-or-never moment. If he was talking to someone, I wouldn’t have asked. But he was just chilling there, so I took a deep breath and just went for it and he was so nice! “Picture? Sure!” he said and I was like, “Is this is a dream.
”
I pushed Chooch over there because he is my proxy when it comes to posing with celebs, monuments, landmarks, statues, Welcome to [State] signs….But look at Chooch’s face! Even he knows how unexpectedly magical this moment was! Shindong was so nice and I stupidly said thank you to him in English instead of Korean because my brain was causing my motor functions to run backward at that time and honestly, I’m lucky I was even able to say it in English and not some make-believe Alien jibberish. Also, I didn’t drop my phone either, which is a miracle because my hands were shaking so badly. I couldn’t get my nervous system to shut the fuck up for a good solid three hours after this happened, and I just kept saying over and over, “I can’t believe we saw Super Junior. I can’t believe Shindong put his hand on Chooch’s shoulder.” And then it was “SHINDONG PUT HIS HAND ON CHOOCH’S SHOULDER. SHINDOG IS FRIENDS WITH TAEMIN. SHINDONG HAS PROBABLY DEFINITELY TOUCHED TAEMIN 100S OF TIMES. CHOOCH LET ME RUB MY FACE ON YOUR SHOULDER” and you can guess how well that went over.
Also, before I close this chapter, can we just talk about how adorable it is that Henry is the one who recognized them first? Henry unabashedly loves Super Junior though and I think he was honestly a little sad that he wasn’t going to the concert the next night.
Here is their recent music video for Lo Siento with Leslie Grace, in case anyone cares.
If a star vanishes, will everything be forgotten?
OK, I know it kind of seem like TRL up in here more often than not, but I really like sharing music with anyone who might happen to stumble across, and I really really really want to share this new one from SHINee that was released yesterday (and yes, I made Henry and Chooch listen to it a thousand times in the car on the way home from Newark; good thing they like SHINee). So the deal with SHINee, if you haven’t been keeping up or noticed any of the 4684154 times I mentioned it on here like a lovelorn broken record, is that one of their members, Jonghyun, passed away last December. As a SHINee and Kpop fan in general, it was really hard to accept and it took me a good long while to mourn. Me and millions of other people. (Every day, I wear a ring with a sound wave of his voice engraved on it.)
After some time passed, there was of course the big question of “What will happen to SHINee?” They held their heads up and kept their commitments by following through with their scheduled concerts in Japan two months later, but even then it was unclear if they were going to continue on as a four-piece. They all have such pivotal roles in the group, and imagining them as four instead of five was heart-breaking.
In the end, they did decide to stay together. Their comeback was split into three separate EPs, each released about two weeks from each other, with two videos for each one and numerous music countdown and variety show appearances. It has been SO GOOD to see them smile, and watch them perform their new songs, even though Jonghyun is sorely missed. There are all kinds of fan theories regarding their video for Good Evening, and all the Jonghyun symbolism it may or may not contain. I like to believe the theories are true and that SHINee found ways to subtly include Jonghyun in their new chapter.
This latest EP which was released yesterday and for god’s sake, their first single is a song they wrote for Jonghyun and I can’t tell you how the huge the lump is in my throat every time I watch this video. It’s sad, but also joyous and hopeful, because they’re telling him that they miss him but they’re going to stay together and continue on as five, because they know that he will always be with them. OW OW OW. It’s like that saying about how the dead don’t want us to stop living, and it’s true. Life has to go on, as much as we miss those who are gone, and I am so glad that they were given the opportunity to sing this song for him. And yes, this song was written by them, not some Hit Factory conveyor belt.
As if this wasn’t heart-stabbingly beautiful enough on its own, the album ends with a special track featuring Jonghyun’s vocals, and even though the song is very upbeat, it was still SO HARD to listen to it. But of course I did, approximately 87 times.
So, even if you have never clicked on a single one of the videos I post on here, please let this be the first and last one. Because it’s super special and they worked hard.
SHINee forever. <3
Here are the translated lyrics:
Can you feel it? We’re connected
By our hearts that are transparent like invisible string
When I stand again on the road we walked on together
There are five overlapping hands, tears and memories
It’s so clear, I don’t want to forget, I can’t forget
The pretty words you left behind become a poem, become a song
Our voices are flying, we know it’ll reach you wherever you are
If a star vanishes, will everything be forgotten?
I’m holding the precious you in my arms
I want to fill the pages of this story that isn’t over yet
Until the very end
I’ll say that I miss you
But it won’t fill up my empty heart tonight
We’re facing each other, we’re still the same
We’re still the boys who are dreaming
The pretty words you left behind become a poem, become a song
Our voices are flying, we know it’ll reach you wherever you are
If a star vanishes, will everything be forgotten?
I’m holding the precious you in my arms
I want to fill the pages of this story that isn’t over yet
Until the very end
May 25, 2008*
Boys shining brightly
Like green waves of spring
That time will spread and flow forever
The pretty words you left behind become a poem, become a song
Our voices are flying, we know it’ll reach you wherever you are
If a star vanishes, will everything be forgotten?
I’m holding the precious you in my arms
I want to fill the pages of this story that isn’t over yet
Until the very end
*SHINee’s debut date
No commentsA Live Account From the Road: Newark to Pittsburgh
Because I need something to do and talking to Henry doesn’t count.
8:21am: We just left that sleazeshack of a “hotel” that Henry put us in all weekend and I am so glad to never go back. It was definitely a pay-by-the-hour dump and I had to sleep with headphones on every night because the people above us sounded like what I would probably sound like to downstairs neighbors while doing Kpop cardio. Thankfully Chooch and I had already fallen asleep when this happened but Henry said those people were up there having sex for like an hour and a half and now he has fuel for his fantasies because, as he said this morning, “I don’t know WHAT they were doing!” Ugh Newark sucks so bad. We have to come back here in September for BTS and my plan is to leave after the concert and start driving home and get a hotel somewhere even farther out of the city.
When we left our room, I slammed the door super hard and Chooch was cracking up but Henry was like “THOSE PEOPLE WERE UPSTAIRS NOT ON THIS FLOOR!” And I was like “EVERYONE HERE IS A MOTHERFUCKER THO!” Literally starting at 6am it was just a fucking cacophony of room doors slamming, so fuck you, Red Carpet residents. Also, the “breakfast room” LOLOLOLOL was below us and we could hear every single chair scraping against the floor as it was pulled from the tables.
Henry made it through the lobby before us and tossed the room key through the slot of the BULLETPROOF GLASS surrounding the desk, YES IT WAS THAT KIND OF LODGING, so he missed the grand finale of me yelling THIS IS THE WORST “HOTEL” EVER to the lady at the desk, at which point Chooch lost it and started laughing so hard that he dropped his suitcase and then couldn’t get it upright in order to wheel it out the door, and then dropped it again, so I had to wait for him and my SMOOTH EXIT was totally ruined.
The new SHINee ep was released today though so I’m content in the car, listening to that thing of beauty.
10:17am: We stopped at H-Mart and Henry was in grocery-mode which I hate because he turns into MEAN DAD who says NO!!! every time Chooch and I come back to the cart with amazing finds. But I did get a pair of TAEMIN SOCKS and my favorite Korean pastry things from Tous les Jours which I always want to call Tour duJour because I can never remember it.
Prior to this we went to Dunkin’ Donuts and got stuck talking to an old townie with no teeth I MEAN HE WAS A NICE GUY but I don’t want to discuss how much the local teachers get paid, you know? (Apparently 100,000 after 5 years and the nurse gets $90,000 “for WHAT? To take temperatures? Put on band-aids? Send kids home? Pffft!”)
11:19am: Still mad about this hotel bullshit. You know what now I don’t care that Chooch pissed himself from laughing so hard in front of the vending machine on the first floor (and I mean HE PISSED HIMSELF) or that he spilled his Gatorade all over his bed. It’s probably the least-worst stains that place has seen.
11:55am: I’m just gonna put this out here even though it will get me in trouble with a lot of people (j/k only three people will read this) but Sheetz is better than Wawa.
12:40pm: Henry is trying to make conversation by asking me how many songs NCT127 sang last night and I was like WHY DO YOU CARE but I answered him anyway and then said, “Plus ‘Whiplash’ for the special stage….you don’t know what special stages are though” BECAUSE HE DOESNT GO TO THE CONCERT PORTION.
Ugh that fuckin’ Peachy Boi lol.
1:12pm: At the Midway Diner in….Midway, PA? I dunno. But they have a veggie burger so that’s cool and Chooch is pissed because he doesn’t have any PokeBalls and SO MANY THINGS ARE SPAWNING. Now I know how it feels to be everyone else when I’m talking about aegyo and unnies and All Kills.
2:03pm: Lunch was mediocre at Trainor’s Midway Diner but at least it wasn’t walk-out levels of awful like TOM’S KITCHEN (see last LiveBlog!). However, I do have some feelings:
Trump might judge a restaurant by how it looks on the outside (according to his latest crybaby tweet) but I judge based on the ketchup they use. #HeinzOrGTFO amirite?
They had a veggie burger so that was wonderful! But the cole slaw had no flavor. They had shoo fly pie! But it was terrible, and not even served warm with whipped cream!!
They had a…diverse reading library. My favorite is Fishwrapper Stories. So hard to find.
BUT THIS BANQUET HALL. I WANT TO HAVE A BANQUET THERE!!
Claw machine selfie.
2:29pm: Somewhere near Hershey and at this point it feels like we’re traveling backward. I’m making them listen to Hope FM which is rife with powerful contemporary worship jams and Henry just yelled WHY ISNT SPOTIFY ON and then I was mocking him saying that we won’t be able to see Hershey Park from the road, he doesn’t care WHAT the sign says, and now Chooch is laughing himself to pants-pissing status again.
2:53pm: Just drove past this sign followed by three strip clubs in succession.
3:26pm: In Rutter’s gas station and it took Henry FOREVER in the bathroom so Chooch had a fashion show:
When henry finally came out Chooch was like FINALLY, WE HEARD YOU FLUSH LIKE A MILLION TIMES and Henry said it kept doing it automatically and I was like “It knew it had to work hard” and then Chooch was laughing so hard that he felt inspired to try to jump on my back in the middle of the store. Henry was so mad and said WHY DO I BRING YOU WITH ME.
Then he sulked because we left him at the register and when the lady asked him if he wanted a bag he allegedly said, “I guess so, everyone left me.” LOLOLOL.
Now he’s mad because I got the gigantic jug of water that Chooch is holding in the picture above and I had to ask him to open it for me because I have no strength in my hands from laughing so much. DOES THAT HAPPEN TO YOU, TOO?
5:03pm: We’re having a family meeting about how henry isn’t a part of the Chooch & Erin Club because he fails to see how funny, fun, cute, hilarious and interesting we are and chooses instead to reject us and Chooch piped up from the backseat, “Yeah, we’re really funny” and Henry has disagreed profusely and I said “Well, this is why we don’t get along then” and he countered with “90% of what you do goes against me!!” LOL YEAH IT REALLY DOES THOUGH HAHAHA.
6:16pm: Water jug progress:
Also, we’re not home yet.
7:19pm: In Pittsburgh! We should be home in like 10 minutes. Man, I am not usually happy to be in Pittsburgh but Newark is one of the few cities that make me seriously appreciate this joint. Sorry Newark but you kind of suck, a lot.
No commentsSunday Family Portraits
Chooch and I decided to be the founding members of the Anti-Henry Club but then Henry made us feel bad (ie threatened to starve us) so we let him in, Ugh.
Anyway, KCON night 2 is about to start so ciao for now!!
No commentsLive Blogging to KCON 2018
7:08am: You’re live-blogging. Great. – Henry under his breath. Well we just left the house but first we have to stop and get new tires put on the car because Henry didn’t think to do this any other time this week ok cool. And he only brought a bottle of water for himself and I flipped out so he said I could just have his and I was like YOU ALREADY DRANK FROM IT SO HOW WILL I KNOW HOW MUCH TO CALCULATE?? because I track my water intake on Fitbit and now we’re fighting about me not being to eyeball that there are approx. 4 ounces gone now from the bottle. Fuck off Henry.
7:11am: “I’m hungry” – Chooch. “I’m thirsty” – me. “The kids have already started” – Henry.
7:30am: UGH TIRE CHANGE STUFF.
“Want me to make you coffee?” Henry just asked and I’m ready to eviscerate him.
7:44am: LEAVING NOW THAT TOOK FOREVER. “It did not!” henry barked. “If we had went to Pep Boys we’d still be there and they’d be trying to sell me everything!”
8:26am: Stopped at Sheetz for a fast breakfast and fucking coffee, man. Here is my traditional gas station bathroom selfie. If I look miserable ITS BC I AM. J/k I’m just old & tired.
Some instrumental version of Gary Numan’s “Cars” was playing in Sheetz and it disagreed with me because I need to hear Gary’s voice, Sheetz. Gary’s voice or GTFO.
8:49am: Speaking of voices, friendly PSA that G-Dragon’s voice in “Cafe” is still one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard in my life, carry on.
8:51am: Speaking of voices Part 2, yesterday I told Henry that Taemin’s voice reminds me of an opulent, ridiculously expensive rich old lady’s shawl from the 1920s. It’s definitely mauve with various elements of silk, crushed velvet and lace. Delicate, but will keep you warm while making you feel pretty.
9:35am: We’re in Evansburg PA whatever that means. Henry said something about stopping to get Dave Mallo Cups on the way back and I swear he said we were stopping at the Gay Palace and I got sooooo excited without even knowing what it was. Also, here is Chooch in the span of 30 seconds:
9:49am: Henry gets so mad when I imitate him because I make him sound like someone from The Hills Have Eyes, drunk off moonshine, whose parents are siblings. “I DONT TALK LIKE THAT! STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE THAT! IM GOING TO START TALKING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC JUST TO EMBARRASS YOU!”
10:04am: Chris just texted me because she’s talking about Kpop with one of the students on the tour in DC she’s guiding (BECAUSE SHE IS A TOUR GUIDE IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW) and now that girl and I are Instagram friends thanks to Chris! I need all the Kpop friends I can get!
10:12am: OK I just put on “Love” by Taemin to try and get Henry to understand my elegant, vintage shawl analogy and he still doesn’t get it so I will leave this here and you can tell me if his voice makes you feel like you’re being gently hugged by luxurious French fabric from the 1920s.
No, watch this one instead! This song makes me weep.
10:55am: Just left the second Sheetz of the trip. I drank half a gallon of water and it took me a while to pee. Here is selfie #2 where I look happier because I’m more awake and caffeinated and over the anger caused by the early-morning tire-change.
12:47pm: ANGER HAS RETURNED. Well you see first henry made me use a restroom in a gas station where three of the four stalls were jam-packed with poop and now he has us at a shitty elderly people restaurant that has no meatless options on the menu, not even a grilled cheese, but he won’t leave. Wow.
Fuck this hick place we left and now Henry is so angry because he can’t eat all of the bloody meat. Sorry, I’m not wasting my time and money at a shitty place in a shitty town. Why is it so hard for him to understand that?! “I hate doing this,” he mumbled when we walked out and I’m like, “Why? I have no fucking problems with it. Grow a pair, Henry.” God he’s so spineless sometimes.
For the record, he told me to find somewhere to eat and I found a place that was literally a minute away from the shitty gas station and he drove past once and couldn’t find it and was like OH WELL IT DOESNT EXIST LETS GET BACK ON THE HIGHWAY SO THAT I CAN FIND MORW WAYS TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.
The restaurant was called ARROWHEAD and it has a LIFESIZE NATIVE AMERICAN DOLL BEHIND GLASS and that sounds amazing but I guess it would gone over Henry’s “fun quota” for the day so here we are, hungry and not speaking to each other.
1:43pm: Henry just fed us lunch from a rest stop vending machine. Mmm, Sour Cream & Chives Baked Lays. Really hit the spot. NO, IT DIDN’T. Also I think it’s hilarious that we’re driving through the Poconos, a destination for LOVERS, when Henry and I hate each other lol.
1:56pm: OK now we’re in the drive-thru at Burger King in some town because at least they have veggie burgers and now we’re just in a hurry to get to where we’re going but when the lady asked Henry if he wanted anything else, he said “Yes two cheeseburgers” and I was like “WHOA WHOA WHOA WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN EAT TOO?!”
3:14pm: Somewhere near Newark. Henry and I are sort of talking now. But once we get to the hotel, all bets are off because I’m certain he booked some bed bug box because that’s what he’s known for.
3:20pm OMG you guys it’s not even a Red Roof Inn but a Red CARPET Inn. RED WITH BLOOD STAINS. This place is a dump!! “IT’S ALL I COULD FIND!!!” Henry yelled. Apparently there’s a lot going on in Newark this weekend. !???!
OK fine the actual room is not bad at all. It’s actually kind of big and more importantly – clean.
Chooch and I are watching Henry fetch our bags while singing jingles in a Bullwinkle voice.
LOLOLOL he just yelled YOURE MESSING WITH THE WRONG PERSON.
3:53pm: OMG our Lyft driver has very broken English and is telling us jokes and making us do puzzles on a calculator.
4:09pm: Attempting to go to NYC for a little bit since Newark is a shit town with nothing to do. Henry is asking tourist-y questions so I won’t stand near him.
5:02pm: In Penn Station. We all sat separately on the train and it was heavenly. Chooch made friends with th ppl he sat with of course. Also, Seoul Station is a billion times better.
6:43pm: Sitting in Central Park after Chooch dragged us all around catching Pokémon, so lame. You know what’s not lame though? ACCIDENTALLY RUNNING INTO SUPER JUNIOR NEAR TIMES SQUARE AND CHOOCH GETTING HIS PICTURE TAKEN WITH SHINDONG AND MY HANDS MIGHT STILL BE SHAKING BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE HE’S BEEN TO TAEMIN???!!!!
9:06pm: We had Korea flashbacks as Henry dragged us all around Manhattan for the last two and a half hours, looking for food. Finally, we settled on NY Pizza Suprema and are happily sitting down.
9:55pm: We’re on the train going back to Newark and it smells like a continuous wet fart on here. There people in front of us are talking about going to KCON tomorrow so now Chooch wants to loudly mention it in an effort to make friends but I’m too tired for socializing so I was like plz no.
10:23pm: In a car with Jorge our Lyft driver, whose name henry pronounce as GEORGE.
he’s ok but then he mumbled something about the weather and Chooch snorted.
ETA: this ended abruptly but Jorge got us back to the hotel safely and we all pretty much immediately went to sleep although I had to use Chooch’s headphones because whoever is in the room upstairs used the floor as a trampoline all night and I hope they check out today because I hate them. This morning they were moving furniture, I guess. ANYWAY TODAY IS DAY ONE OF KCON! bye!!
No commentswork stories
I have two lacerations (some might call them “just cuts”) on my right hand from a soju cap so that pretty much sums up my weekend. Anyway, that’s NEITHER HERE NOR THERE because today’s lowly anticipated blog post is about the latest exciting law firm happenings. I mean, the ones that I can share without getting fired, anyway.
THE LIGHTNING BUG
Debby found a lightning bug on her desk and I was like, “aw yay a lightning bug” and then she was like, “Should I take my shoe off and kill it?” and I cried, “NOOOOO!” but then thankfully Nate came out of his office, scooped the poor bug up into a napkin, and released it outside like a true superhero.
I seriously had a heart-palp over this whole thing.
DOWN IN THE UNDERGROUND
(Huge bonus points to you if you heard David Bowie singing in your head when you read that.)
Before I went outside for my daily walk yesterday, I grabbed an umbrella from the Extra Umbrella Stash in a drawer behind Marlene’s desk. I just found out a year ago that this stash exists and then I got yelled at for telling other people without first making them do a Trust Fall, but all of the umbrellas are still accounted for, so I guess my work friends are trustworthy after all.
Even Todd!
Anyway, I grabbed an umbrella because according to my phone, it was probably going to rain at some point while I was out there, but the unfortunate part of the weather app is that it didn’t tell me that it wouldn’t matter if I had EIGHT umbrellas, it was going to be THAT kind of a rainfall.
And of course it started five minutes after I left the office. It came down so fast and hard, as though the sky literally split in half and God employing every industrial strength hose he could find in Heaven to give us a good tough reminder that he could flood us into extinction if WE DON’T STOP PUTTING KIDS IN CAGES.
I mean, it was raining hard, ya’ll.
I ducked into a parking garage for refuge and figured I’d just walk around in there for a bit to at least continue getting steps. I was on the phone with Henry during this, in case you need to check in and verify my story so far.
After about a minute, some older man in a red polo came over and asked me if I needed directions and I was like, “Nope, just hiding from the rain” and he was all “*hearty chuckle*” but then he asked me again, a few minutes later, if I needed help finding my car and I was like, “STILL NO, BUDDY” so I kept walking further underground to get away from him but then some guy was getting out of his car and following me and we were the only people down there on that level and I LOST CELL SERVICE–I thought for sure I was going to die, so I ran into the nearest stairwell and ran all the way back up to the first level where I bumped right into Red Polo Man again.
“Which building are you trying to get to?” he asked, so I told him and he frowned.
“Hmm, well, you can’t get all the way there underground, but you could get to the Gateway buildings across the street if you wanted to.”
“UNDERGROUND?!” I asked incredulously. I was totally perking up at this prospect.
“Yeah, if you go down a level, it’ll take you right under the street to those buildings over there,” he said, pointing out of the garage to the Gateway buildings across the street, which wasn’t getting me any closer to my office but hello, I wanted to walk underground, so I asked him for directions again and set off down the stairs and through a revolving door, which put me into this fucking creepy hallway:
There was some type of power fan that was on, filling the hallway with a loud blowing noise, and of course the only other people in there were questionable-looking men, so I thought for sure I was going to be on the news that night. Luckily, no one bothered me and I made it all the way through the winding walkway and through another set of doors, buy Red Polo Shirt’s directions didn’t go any further than “follow the hallway to the end” so I was like, “DOODOODOO WHICH WAY DO I GO, WHICH WAY DO I GO.
” Every door had DANGER WARNING ALARM NOT FOR REGULAR PEOPLE written all over them and I was freaking the fuck out, man. Freaking the FUCK out.
Well, I’m a mole person, now. This is where I live, I thought to myself, shutting down and accepting defeat after 30 seconds because that’s my limit of resourcefulness.
But then some older lady in McDonald’s attire came from somewhere, a sewer maybe, I wasn’t watching, and I cried, “I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GO.”
“You trying to go outside?” she asked in some type of European accent that I became obsessed with immediately. I nodded like a cartoon puppy being asked if he wants to go for a walk, and she said, “That’s where I’m going, gotta catch my bus, so you can follow me” and she put me onto an elevator WHICH I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT TO USE BECAUSE THERE WASN’T A SIGN THAT TOLD ME TO.
She pushed the button for the lobby and said, “They don’t make it easy to figure out how to get out of here,” and I wish I had recorded her saying that because no one is going to believe that this was so difficult.
The elevator dropped us off in the lobby of Gateway 3 and even then, I wouldn’t have known which way to go! Thank god for my new guardian.
By the time I got back to work, my clothes were soaked all the way through and I felt like shit for the rest of the afternoon.
But then Debby told me that she thinks you can also get to one of the trolley stations from under that parking garage so now I want to go back and explore this further.
#BAGELWATCH
Yesterday, Carrie ordered a bunch of bagels from Au Bon Pain and put them on the snack table. A little bit later, I emailed Glenn and Todd and told them that there were bagels there, because I wasn’t sure if they knew.
Todd replied and said he saw them but wasn’t sure if they were for a meeting or something, and I was like, “OK this is a valid quandary,” so I verified with Carrie that yes, they were there for the taking. She said she didn’t want to put them in the kitchen because then that left them vulnerable to non-departmental people who also use the kitchen on our floor.
Several other people started emailing me about the bagels because I apparently am The One Who Knows About the Bagels, and I was starting to think that maybe an email needed to be sent because the people on the other side of the floor might not ever see them, but just then, Debby suggested to Carrie that she should send an email so I was like OH THANK GOD because I hate sending departmental emails. One time, one of the ladies in another department on our floor came back from a meeting and brought extra sandwiches back with her and said, “Hey can you send out an email to your department and let them know these sandwiches are up for grabs?” and I re-wrote that fucking email for 15 minutes like it was a goddamn resignation letter and not just, “Hi Tracy says to help yourselves to the sandwiches by the kitchen.” By the time I was done, it basically just said “sandwiches. kitchen. get ’em.”
The first time I ever sent an email to the department was about the printer being down AND I SPELLED IT “PRINT” INSTEAD OF “PRINTER” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND WANTED TO QUIT. Yes, that was 8 years ago and it still clearly keeps me up at night, FIGHT ME.
Anyway, Carrie was like, “Sue didn’t tell me to send an email but FINE I WILL SEND ONE” because she too knows the annoyances of sending all-department emails especially when you start getting snarky replies sent to you and it’s like ISN’T ‘DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER’ IMPLIED?!
Meanwhile, Todd was hashtagging this as #bagelwatch in his correspondence to me. He didn’t want to be the first one to get a bagel, and Carrie was like, “DON’T YOU DARE TAKE HIM ONE!” so instead I just emailed him and said, “COLLEEN JUST GOT A BAGEL. COLLEEN BROKE THE BAGEL SEAL. ALL CLEAR TO GET A BAGEL.”
By afternoon, the bagel situation had just about died down but then I happened to catch a glimpse of some STRANGER from another floor helping himself to one of our bagels! He even gave it a hearty smear of cream cheese like it ain’t no thang, like he wasn’t stealing the property of another department, like that wasn’t someone’s lunch he was scarfing, and then he took it into the conference room on our floor and ate it while talking on the phone and looking out the window!
I have no idea who that thief was but he is so freaking lucky that Debby wasn’t at her desk when that happened because she is the Guardian of the Snack Table and she has no qualms about telling passers-by to drop the Twinkie and back away from the table.
#bagelwatch indeed.
****
Well guys, that’s all for today. We leave tomorrow morning for KCON! It’s in Newark again (boo) but I’ll probably liveblog on the way there because I have been feeling so nostalgic for road trips lately!
P.S. Semi-work-related: Wendy and I had lunch at Villa Reale with BARB today and she said she’s impressed that I’m still obsessed with k-everything and that this might be the longest I’ve ever been obsessed with something and Wendy quickly interjected to say, “No–Jonny Craig” and then they both admitted that Taemin is super beautiful, the most gorgeous man in the whole world, even (well, second to Tom Jones, if you ask Barb).
Weekend Highlight: Calvin’s First Birthday!
It’s so hard to believe that it’s been a year already since Henry’s grandson Calvin was born! It’s been a lot of fun watching him grow and now he’s a regular walking machine!
Blake and Haley had a birthday party for him last Saturday at South Park and they really went all out–it was such a cute set-up. They wanted everyone to sign the frame around that picture of Calvin up there and of course Chooch was like, “I WANT TO BE FIRST” and then proceeded to write BAMBI super big on it, like WTF WHY?! I was so angry and then Blake and Haley saw it and were equally as angry and Chooch was like, “YOU SAID TO SIGN MY NAME AND MY NAME IS BAMBI.”
Why is my kid so freaking weird sometimes?
Wait.
Don’t answer that.
Anyway, I diffused the situation by having him write in small letter “You’re cuter than” on top of the “Bambi,” and then “Love, Riley” beneath it. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Speaking of “you’re,” one of Haley’s friends signed it “You’re favorite aunt” instead of “Your” and so then Chooch got booted out of the hot seat. Whew.
You guys, these were the cutest cookies and they were goddamn delicious. I’ll be getting all my future party cookies from Give Mia Cookie now, I guess. We’ve had their regular bakery cookies and brownies before, and those are equally as delicious. If you’re local to Pittsburgh, give this place all of your business!
I love when a cookie meets my aesthetic and taste requirements.
Blake and Haley are the sweetest, most natural parents. I can’t believe I’ve known Blake since he was 8 and now here he is, being the coolest dad ever. AND HALEY IS PREGNANT AGAIN! She officially announced it last month so I’m OK to blab about it now. It was so hard not saying anything because I love spreading good news.
And here he is, the cutest little maknae of the family! It’s been a lot of fun having them living next door to us too. Henry will text Blake and be like, “Can Calvin come out and play?” He was sad last night because Blake was like, “NO HE’S DRINKING HIS MILK AND GOING TO BED, GO WATCH THE NEWS OR SOMETHING, DAD.”
We were kind of holding our breath when Calvin was born because we thought Chooch would have a lot of resentment since he’s so attached to Blake, but he actually takes his uncle role very seriously and Calvin freaking lights up when he sees him.
I bought Calvin some Korean children’s books so that we can learn together, haha. After I bought them, I realized that I’m the only one who will be able to read them to him because there isn’t any romanization in them (thank god, though, really) and I’m not a huge fan of reading books BUT I WILL DO IT FOR CALVIN. My goal is for him to someday be able to read the “I Love My Mom” book to Haley in Korean.
Anyway, it was a really nice afternoon and my mom even came! She got him this hip hop ABC book, lol. Calvin is going to be so well-rounded.
I’m excited for when he can ride things at Kennywood, go to haunted houses, and choose a Kpop bias. You know, things I’m interested in. Maybe after three more birthdays.
No commentstuesday thinks & thoughts.
In a few days, Warped Tour is launching into its final summer tour. This will be my 13th and last Warped Tour and I have a lot of feelings about this.
I’m not as upset about it as I might have been a few years ago. Even just two years ago. The obvious reason might be that I’m just more into Korean music now and haven’t been keeping up with that scene, and that’s a little bit correct. But the truth is that Kpop actually helped me distance myself from a music scene spilling over with domestic violence, statutory rape, and complete disdain and disrespect for the female members of that community.
I know that “rock-n-roll” has always been synonymous with lewd behavior but when guys in bands are using their “status” to abuse girls in various ways, that’s just unacceptable and I’m sick of hearing the excuses of “she asked for it” or “he was drunk” or “he didn’t know she was underage.” Maybe it’s me getting older and having less tolerance for bullshit, or maybe I have some latent feminism in me after all, but the last several years have made me so angry and disappointed, when all I wanted to do was go to shows and support the bands I loved. You can argue that these things should be kept separate from the music, but….should they really? Should we really turn a blind eye just because we like the songs that a date-rapist sings on stage to 200 people at a dive bar?
It started with Jonny Craig. I loved his music, I loved his voice, I loved the bands he was in, and I really loved seeing him perform live—even when he was too fucked up to remember the lyrics. But there comes a point when too many girls start speaking out, and it’s hard to ignore that. It’s hard not to believe it. And it’s hard to keep supporting someone like that.
Yet, he continues to have some semblance of a career because the #MeToo movement isn’t taken as seriously in this music scene, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the immature sheep-mentality of the kids* who follow these bands who continue to blindly support their monster idols, which makes the record labels more reluctant to drop these bands because $$$$$. Maybe it’s the fact that this is such a male-dominated scene and bros would rather defend their rapist/abuser homies than grow a fucking backbone and leave the band or the tour.
*(The girls who still defend him make me sick to my stomach and I hope that someday they grow up and realize what a disservice they did as a representative of our gender. And I hope that they don’t have a daughter who becomes a victim to some asshole’s testosterone-fueled entitlement.)
And that brings us to Warped Tour, which continually books bands who are notorious for misogynist behavior, or have members who assault women on the tour bus, or whose drug addiction is a danger to themselves and everyone around them. It’s really hard for me to justify my decision to attend this festival, which has becoming nothing more than a breeding ground for sex-violence. I will be the first to admit that I am a fucking hypocrite because I bought a ticket for the last ever tour, knowing that, for instance, Falling In Reverse will be there, a band with a singer who is notorious for his history of domestic violence.
But I know that there are also a lot of bands there who AREN’T like that, who ARE pure in their intentions, and there are great organizations and charities who will be there as usual. Is that enough to counteract the dark side of Warped? Eh…nope.
There was speculation that Warped was calling it quits because of all the recent bands who have been accused of sexual harassment/violence over the last several years, or the fact that attendance has been dropping, but the founder of Warped Tour denies that. Still, one can’t help but wonder.
Let’s see if these jackass boys can behave themselves for one final summer run.
1 commentGold Pizza & Noraebang: Chooch’s Big Fun Time Korea Farewell 4/1/18
Can you tell that I’ve been supremely dragging my feet with these posts? I know it’s annoying to everyone else that I have approx. 87 posts about a 10-day trip and that we’ve been home for over two months and I still haven’t closed the book on it, but you have to remember that I’m the girl who can stretch Warped Tour into 6 blog posts plus a gratuitous Henry Interview Extravaganza.
And I’m not even sponsored!
So on that note, here is what we did for the rest of our final full day in Seoul, holy shit I didn’t expect to start crying as I typed that, yet here we are.
For the last night, we finally gave in to Chooch’s desire for SUPER KOREAN FUN TIMES, which involved pizza (specifically, “gold” pizza, more on that in a bit) and noraebang, which is Korean karaoke (literally translates to ‘song room’). Let’s be real, you can’t go to South Korea and not partake in some noraebang because it is a super popular pastime of native Koreans. There are noraebangs everywhere, on nearly every street, in alleys, in every neighborhood and district.
But first he had to suffer through last minute souvenir shopping in Insadong, haha. What every 12-year-old boy wants!
This was when Henry abandoned us in Insadong because he wanted to exchange more money and Chooch somehow inherited two balloons from some people promoting the Alive Museum and then some older Korean man came over and tried to pretend-steal one from Chooch and even with a language barrier, we all managed to have a great big international laugh and these are the heart-warming things that happens when Henry abandons us.
The plan after Insadong was to walk back to the hotel, where Henry would meet us later with pizza procured from a place that Chooch had zeroed in on the day before when we were walking to the palaces. We figured we’d just eat in our room and then set off to Myeongdong for noraebang.
But then Henry came back and was like, “DON’T GET TOO EXCITED” because the pizza was just REGULAR, not GOLD. Apparently, the menu that Chooch saw was for a pizza place that was there previously and now this new one had a different menu which was all in Hangeul and hey you guys, I spent many months leading up to this trip trying to get Henry to learn how to at least read it and he was all, “I DON’T NEED NO HANGEUL.”
Yeah, until you do!
Anyway, Henry felt obligated to buy a pizza from this joint because he had already frustrated the guy working there enough I guess, and it was great pizza, you guys! It really was. But it was extremely similar to American pizza and it was not want we wanted. We wanted that Korean flair.
So we decided to venture on out to the Cheonggyecheon Stream where we saw a place called Mr. Pizza on our second night in Seoul.
But first! We got no further than across the street from the hotel before I realized I left my subway card in the room so Henry obediently went back inside to get it. For some reason, like we need a reason, Chooch and I were nearly peeing our pants in anticipation of seeing our hotel room light turn on, I don’t know why this was such a crucial comedic moment for us, but then it never happened because Henry was all, “I didn’t need to turn it on.” Whatever. At least Chooch nabbed this frameable picture of Henry on his way back to us:
I can only imagine what Chooch and I looked like to passers by, as our raucous laughter caused us to fall into each other like drunks.
This reminds me that I never talked about (lol, like this is a talk show) how we accidentally got lost from Henry the night before on our way to Hongdae. We were walking to one of the Jongno subway stations when Chooch and I stopped to look at jewelry in a store window. I thought dumb Henry knew we stopped but he kept walking and by the time we looked up from the window, WE WERE ABANDONED.
This was like the theme of Korea now that I think about it.
Anyway, we were mildly panicked because there were two subway stations near us and weren’t sure which one he was going to, so we chose the closest one and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And eventually, this happened:
https://instagram.com/p/Bg-5EYvgdVN/
He didn’t realize we weren’t with him anymore until he turned around to hand us our subway cards.
“You couldn’t tell that you didn’t hear us laughing anymore?” I asked.
“No, because I block that out,” Henry mumbled.
Random alley picture because I don’t even want to forget those narrow Korean alleys that pop off once the sun sets.
When we got to Cheongyecheon, we were excited to see that another night market was going on! It was so tempting to just pig out on all the food vendors there, but we had a fucking pizza to scratch off the Korea bucket list, goddammit. To Mr. Pizza!
Gold pizza level achieved!
So, one notorious thing about Korean pizza is that “gold crust” means that it’s made with sweet potato — I fucking love sweet potato but nothing is better than Korean sweet potato, my friends. It’s like candy. Also, corn! Somehow, corn is as synonymous with pizza in Korea as pepperoni is here.
I just asked Chooch what his Mr. Pizza review is and his eyes got all bugged out. “Yum,” he said, with a very ‘duh’ inflection.
But yeah, so worth it and I’m glad we didn’t settle on the other normal pizza!
I just also asked Henry if he liked Mr. Pizza and he said, “Yeah!” with an actual modicum of enthusiasm because he’s trying to keep me from leaving him so he’s suddenly Boyfriend of the Year.
Also, I was excited because I got to push the button on the table to get the waitress to come and bring us a box! I always wanted to push the button!!!
Afterward, we took the subway to Myeongdong. I chose Myeongdong for our final night because that area rules and we hadn’t experienced it at night before then.
“Are you sure there are noraebangs here?” Henry asked, and I was like, “Uh yeah, le duh” because where aren’t there noraebangs, is the real question. Funny though how as soon as you’re looking for one, they’re suddenly gone, like those little trolls from Labyrinth were flipping over the signs before we walked past. Also, I did notice that most of these places don’t have any English on the signs, so unless it’s a really big, touristy noraebang with big windows in the front to let you see in, you might walk past 59 of them without ever knowing. So if you’re planning to go to Korea and want to sing your face blue in one of these joints, look for this word: 노래방
We eventually found one (not like we were bored looking for one though; Myeongdong is so freaking vibrant and upbeat at night, even on a Sunday!) called Sing Sing. When we walked in, Henry was like, “OH” because it reeked like a dive bar and was pretty dark and creepy, but I loved the atmosphere! It felt more authentic than the shiny, bright ones in Gangnam and Hongdae. This one felt like a place where locals would hang out, and we were definitely not the only ones there.
Henry paid the nice boy approximately 20,000 won for an hour and he lead us into our own private room, gave us a brief tutorial on how to work the remote, and then let us have our privacy to hold faux Produce 101 auditions.
Chooch’s first song was a goddamn Maroon 5 song and we were like, “Oh.” Then he sang something else that was dumb too, while I flipped through the book to find him something cool to sing.
Guys, the rooms even come with tambourines.
I had no intentions of doing any singing because I’m just not into that. And that’s when I saw it.
“Even the Night’s Are Better” by Air Supply.
Air Supply, you guys.
“Henry, you’re singing this with me,” I ordered, tossing him a mic and punching in the number.
“Wha—?” he stuttered, and then the song started and he was like, “Are you kidding.”
I immediately launched into my famous brand of shriek-singing on top of a bed of throaty giggles, while Henry mumbled along, and Chooch stared at me with the most appalled and disgusted look on his face.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” he cried when the song ended.
“God, I forgot how great I sing!” I said, and Henry was just like, “No.” I think it brought back his PTSD from all the Saturday nights we spent at McCoy’s on karaoke night. I think my crowning moment was the time I sang “Old McDonald Had a Farm” and called for audience participation. The weathered broad who ran karaoke there, DJ Danger (lol), haaaaated me with such a passion and actually got to the point where she would make executive decisions and veto my song choices.
WELL THEN DON’T PUT THEM IN YOUR SONG BOOK, BITCH.
Anyway, back to noraebang, we also sang SHATTERED DREAMS and Chooch was like WHAT IS HAPPENING AM I HALLUCINATING, OR….
“Ugh, I wish they had Skater Boi!” Chooch groaned, flipping through the book 7800 times. I knew they had it because I saw it but I lied and said they totally 100% did not have that song or any other Avril Lavigne songs because she has a lawsuit out against noraebangs, but then I felt bad and said FINE HERE IT IS, SING YOUR DUMB HEART OUT.
But the grand finale was Chooch and me dueting with….
CAN YOU GUESS?!?!
CALL ME MAYBE.
Our theme!
Oh good lord, we were so sweaty by the time our hour was up, and our stomachs hurt from laughing so hard, and my throat hurt from going ham on Air Supply, and it was just the perfect way to end our time in Korea. I especially loved how we could hear people singing in other rooms every time we paused to find our next song.
It was so good! Don’t skip out on noraebang if you’re in Korea! DON’T!!
Here I am in the noraebang bathroom!
Here’s Chooch under the noraebang sign!
Myeongdong!
We capped off the night with ice cream from Milky Bee.
My hand looks so weird here. Henry’s pose, tho.
On our walk back to the hotel from the Jongno subway station, we stopped at a snack shop and I stocked up on some Korean candies for my International Candy Pumpkin at work and had to snap this picture because I’ve had some these corn sticks in there before and at first my work friends were skeptical but then grew to love them.
OK, maybe “love” is a stretch, but they ate them. There were so many different varieties in Korea! Back at the hotel. Chooch and I collapsed and Henry did all the packing while muttering things like, “Just lay there, assholes. Sure, I’ll do everything. Don’t help me.”
I don’t even know how to end this. This was so much more than just a vacation, though. It was a dream come true and a really amazing thing to experience with my little family unit. But, all good things, am I right? We’re hoping to go back again next summer, because there are other cities we want to explore in addition to Seoul and Busan, and plus there was so much in Seoul alone that we weren’t able to get to.
So, if you read all of these or followed along with us on Instagram, thank you! You’re the real MVP!
“OMG I don’t want to hit ‘publish’ on this because once I do, it’s done. It’s over. It’s really over,” I just wailed to Henry. “UNLESS YOU WRITE YOUR OWN RECAP!!!!”
And do you know what he said?
“We’ll see.”
THAT MEANS YES!
3 commentsThree Good Things
Today was otherwise clouded by negative thoughts and feelings so I wanted to list three good things instead of complaining about life and the sleazy Yinzer couple making out in the Strip during my walk.
Ugh.
- I got to see Patty today! She came to the Law Firm to visit and I believe it was her first time back since her surgery in 2016. (#fuckcancer) Wendy, Sue and I went upstairs to see her and she had quite the welcoming committee already gathered!
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It was nice to see that, and even better to see her. On the way back down to our floor, I commented that I barely know anyone from other departments since there’s no reason for us to actually travel to other floors, and all of my communication with lawyers and their assistants is done via email. “Oh I knew everyone up there,” Wendy bragged. Ugh, Wendy.
- One more week until KCON!! I’m not too thrilled that it’s in Newark but I’ve been reading old liveblogs from our various road trips (like this one,* which I had Chooch read and he was losing his shit over it because he’s my #1 fan!) because I’m a nostalgia whore, and I’m pretty exciting about the road trip aspect of it. We haven’t road-tripped since last October!
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- I watched this as soon as I came home from work and it was like my psyche was a cat and this video was a nice person lovingly stroking it with bristled-gloves.
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Never underestimate the power of music. This video lifted my spirits so fast because these guys are the epitome of getting up, dusting yourself off, and forging through another day. SHINee forever. And ever and ever.
https://youtu.be/GVR5Jx3aNRM
*(Speaking of that referenced live blog, ever since I re-read it last week I have been re-obsessed with Mr Happy Burger and found some poor quality YouTube videos about it which I forced Henry to watch and he was just like, “I still don’t get why you thought that place was so great though.”)
No commentsChooch’s Itaewon Recap: 4/1/18
Hey, Chooch here! The last day of Korea went by with many tears and broken heart fragments left behind. The morning was the same as any morning in Korea, with my feet still sore from the pain and agony of the hills and miles we walked the night before. Although, we never know what we are going to do next during the day. I’m pretty sure this day was actually planned; we were going to Itaewon. We took the saddening subway, not because it was gross and disgusting in there, GOD NO! It was pretty much our last time hearing the beautiful subway jingle. I heard the *bloop* as my tear hit the floor. We made it to Itaewon, it was still early so nothing was open, except for the convenience stores that are open 24 hours; like every convenience store. We walked around and noticed that the streets were not cleaned yet after all of the clubbing and drunks the night before.
[Ed.Note: Chooch makes it sound like Itaewon was some unsavory area but it’s just a neighborhood that’s a popular hangout and go-to for bars and clubs. Seoul in general was pretty squeaky clean as far as litter goes which is a mystery considering how challenging it was to find garbage cans!]
As I wept inside my mind just thinking of leaving, I noticed the Line Friends flagship, the main one we were looking for the whole 10 days we were there. The reason we could not find it was because it just wasn’t listed on any website. The main thing that made this particular store so special was because this one sold BTS’ line of animals; BT21. Sadly, they were not for sale the day we went, otherwise we definitely would have got one or two.
Other than that, I was promised something from this store because of the agony I went through during our journey through complex Gangnam, you know the city we almost died in because Henry got us lost and said, “Oh. There is no subway we can take to get there faster.” Although, we went back to our hotel through the subway down the street from where we went.
These are the BT21 animals that weren’t on sale. I found it hilarious how the horse/unicorn character is on his head. You know what? It probably isn’t a unicorn. If it was his horn would be snapped either completely or in half.
In the Line Friends store, there were many rooms, being used by the mascots for the company.
The one I am in is Brown’s room. He was the most popular.. I should say the main mascot for Line. I should say what Line Friends is. DUH. Line Friends is owned by Line, a messaging company as like Kakao. Koreans use Line, or Kakao instead of the actual texting apps on their phones, I guess because it’s more aesthetic?
Staircase with the BT21 characters on the individual steps.
My favorite character is the little cookie! He comes in a group and is just flat down cute.
Sally was my favorite character. No, Sally is not the rabbit on the ceiling of the yellow room, that is it’s own room. Sally is the chick you can see painting through the red, round window. I actually got a stuffed Sally. She is dressed up as a chicken, a grown up version of herself. I don’t love her as much as Peachy Boi “Apeach” from Kakao, though. Peachy Boi is definitely the best of all of Kakao and Line Friends, but Line Friends does have those BT21 character, so I’ll give em’ that.
This guy was really cool! I ordered Turkish ice cream an I guess to show that the ice cream is sticky and sturdy, the man was taunting me by flipping the cone upside down and around, trying to make me grab it, but quickly pulled it back. He then proceeds to tap my nose with THE ICE CREAM. I don’t think he realized, and I really don’t care, but, “DARN YOU, MAN!”
As a conclusion to this post, here are 5 things to know before you travel to Korea.
Number 5: You should know some Korean, if not all. Entering stores, Koreans may not always say hello. They might say Annyeonghaseyo, or 안녕하세요, which is Korean for “Hello!” You would also need to know some Hangul, the Korean alphabet, because you may have to read menus/signs.
Number 4: Be aware of the ajummas, or the old women. They may seem like they hate you, but really, they stare at and push everyone. Don’t feel special.
Number 3: Learn how the currency works. If you don’t understand, obviously, you will not know how to trade in the U.S Dollar for Korean Won. $1 is equal to about ₩1.
Number 2: Know that Northeastern Asia is very mountainous and steep. Many interesting cultural villages are located on a mountain or hill. A VERY STEEP HILL. On the other hand, the pleasant hand, the trek is worth it. The view is also very delightful, from the top and from the bottom.
Number 1: Finally, know how to read a map. It is NOT very hard, especially if you were in the service for a long period of time. You need to know how to read a map because you may want to go somewhere on the subway and you might not know how to get there, so you need to read a map. If you don’t know how, you will probably get your family and yourself lost.
In conclusion, those are some things you need to know before traveling to South Korea.
1 commentThings From Last Week
- Brookline Machete
One morning last week, I was walking by Lauren, who eschewed all socially acceptable versions of salutations and instead exclaimed, “Erin, where is your machete?!” She was in the process of struggling to open a box of crackers as she said this so I thought she was facetiously seeking the aid of a machete. BUT NO! She was literally asking where my machete was because apparently a bar in my neighborhood had been robbed by someone wielding a machete!
Now, it’s pretty common knowledge among work cohorts that I have, and am terrified of, a machete in my house. So it was hilarious to me that there were several others in addition to Lauren who also said that they thought of me immediately when they saw this on the news. Oh I love my reputation.
Anyway, I hadn’t heard of this robbery so I went back to my desk and Googled it, and came upon this awesome write-up:
OK, some thing to note:
- He never would have expected it on that street at all? HAS HE NEVER WALKED AROUND BROOKLINE BOULEVARD BEFORE? There are all kinds of….sights to be seen.
- And she won’t let that deter her from going back to the bar formerly known as the bar where I made Christina run in, take a picture, and leave? Bitch, I can think of MANY reasons to not ever go back to that bar. It’s a shit hole.
2. Twitter Crazy
The other night, I got notification that some old ass tweet of mine from April 2008 had been liked and retweeted. Super random, so I decided to investigate and it turns out that this Helen lady who is Twitter verifed and followed by Skrillex (lol) was challenged to tweet something crazy and the first thing she found was this tweet of mine from 10 years ago, which has now been RT’d several more times and liked by a bunch of weirdos when the reality is that I really think this was true when I tweeted it!!
3. I Looked Like This One Day Last Week
4. ART RAGE
Two Friday nights ago, I realized that the last day of school was fast approaching and told Chooch to log on to his student portal thing so I could get a feel for what his last report card would look like and that’s when I was shocked—NAY, TRAUMATIZED—to see that he had his first C ever in the history of Chooch attending school.
A ‘C’ IN ART.
ART!!!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!
I was getting more and more worked up and he was like, “LOOK IT’S NOT ME, IT’S HER, SHE HATES ME AND SHE THINKS I SUCK AT ART!” and he was crying about it a little bit by now so after I made him swear 8 times that this wasn’t because he misses some classes occasionally on the days he goes to the gifted center, and that he doesn’t have any unfinished projects, I searched for this broad’s contact info on the school’s website and then stabbed out an email to her. Chooch wouldn’t let me send it until he read it over because he wanted to make sure I hadn’t “called her the c-word” in my blind rage.
He adjusted some things but then gave me the OK to hit send.
It was terse, but professional. I told her that as an artist myself (LOL, I mean, I guess I used to see my stuff on Etsy so that must give some artist street cred?), I appreciated that public schools offered art classes but that it made me sad that instead of finding it to be a therapeutic and joyful (lol) experience, my son was panicked and dreading it.
Anyway, she emailed me back the following Tuesday with a scanned attachment of CHOOCH’S UNFINISHED PROJECT and said that she gave it to him to work on at home and that if he returned it completed, she would change his grade. Oh, and that she also sent him home with some markers, as he told her that he doesn’t have ANY ART SUPPLIES AT HOME.
YOU LITTLE SHIT, I LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER IN THE EMAIL THAT YOU PROOFREAD THAT I’M AT ARTIST AND NOW SHE PROBABLY THINKS I’M A LIAR!
Oh, also he would prefer to spend the class talking to his friends and this part I know for sure is FACT.
So then I had to eat crow and apologize to her and that, while Chooch might not be the best artist, HE SURE IS A GREAT ACTOR.
There were people following along with this Shakespearean tragedy at work.
“Wow, this story is very layered,” Lou said when I vented about it in the office kitchen and you know I must have really needed to talk about this if I was TALKING TO LOU.
Wendy thought it was hilarious.
So did Glenn and Amber, of course.
I couldn’t wait to get home and verbally annihilate the little brat-face, but then he threw a wrench in my anger by giving me MORE INSIGHT INTO THE DRAMA!
So his side is that she hates him (I can partially believe this; she practically defenestrated herself when she saw us approaching her classroom last year during Open House and then said she had to go to a meeting while literally RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM. Wow.
Anyway, Chooch’s defense was, “DO I TALK TO MY FRIENDS IN CLASS? YES! I TALK TO THEM ABOUT THE PROJECT, HOW I HATE THE PROJECT, HOW I HATE THAT CLASS!” and that also his project wasn’t incomplete in his eyes. The assignment was self-portrait but he doesn’t like drawing people so he drew a blimp because he identifies as a blimp? I have no idea, he lost me there. But then the art teacher was all, “ROAR ROAR ROAR YOU DID THIS WRONG” and he was all, “I THOUGHT ART WAS ABOUT SELF-EXPRESSION!?” and she was like, “NOT WHEN I’M TEACHING IT, DO IT THE WAY I ASKED” and then he didn’t want to color it either because in his eyes he’s a gray-scale blimp which makes sense because isn’t that what color they are? So then he had to bring markers home to color in his new self-portrait since he lives in a house devoid of all art supplies because his parents don’t believe IN THE ARTS and his finished project was himself spray-painting the word “blimp” on a brick wall.
5. Penelope-Sanctioned Snuggles
This happened one day after work last week for a few seconds. I’m not sure if you can tell by her face, but she doesn’t like being cuddled unless it’s bedtime and she’s come to make our sleep as uncomfortable as possible.
6. G-Dragon, the Melania of Korea
The subject of G-Dragon came up in an email chain going on last week between me and my work-group of Amber, Lauren, Todd and Glenn. I mean, I don’t know WHO would have brought him up…but then Lauren was inspired to google him since I don’t sit over on their side anymore to blurt out GD-updates on a whim, and she replied all to ask me if I knew how his ankle surgery went since that was the most recent thing her search brought up, and you guys, that was MID-MAY. I actually didn’t have more information than that because none of the Korean sites have said anything more than he was admitted to a hospital to have the surgery, which allegedly went well, and then was expected to be released back to the military once he recovered BUT HAS HE RECOVERED OR…?!
I even asked Twitter and no one answered me. Fuck you, Twitter.
7. Fifty First Drews
One day last week, I had my hair in a ponytail, but I guess it was positioned differently, maybe it was lopsided, up higher than usual, who knows, but Drew DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME and she looked like she was hunting prey the way she kept her eyes locked on me as she slowly crept closer. It was super stupid. Oftentimes, she and Penelope act like it’s their first day in our house and we have to wait patiently for them to assimilate.
Anyway, this picture was taken after she calmed down and accepted my new (?) look.
8. SHINeepalooza!
Pretty much spent all last week watching every single SHINee stage on all of the music countdown shows (of course they lost to BTS on every single one too and you know I love BTS but COME THE FUCK ON BTS, GO HOME AND LET SOMEONE ELSE WIN A LITTLE TOO, FUCK) and also their new reality show which is FUCKING ADORABLE and I just have the hardest time comprehending how Taemin can be such a brooding God on stage and then be the biggest seal-clapping dork in real life. IT MAKES ME LOVE HIM EVEN MORE. I love this part of their show where they’re touring the SHINee exhibit of the SMTown museum and the rest of SHINee keeps scolding him for touching everything.
Give SHINee some love you guys, and help Jonghyun’s memory alive. <3
Well, that’s pretty much all of the things that happened last week that are worth noting.
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