When I referenced Morocco in my book post yesterday, it made me remember that I recently found some panoramic photos that I took in Tangier in the 90s. I took some GOD AWFUL pictures as a 13-year-old, and I was actually shocked that this one looked so decent! Maybe my aunt Sharon took this one, actually.

Morocco has always had a special slot in my heart, but when we first arrived there, I actually hated it. I think I was just being a bitchy, not-yet-diagnosed bipolar brat, if we’re being frank with each other here. I was an asshole pretty much during the entirety of that summer’s vacation because, and this is going to make me sound soooo Silver Spoon, but I didn’t want to go on vacation that summer because I had a crush on my MOTHERFUCKING TENNIS COACH.

I was 13! He was like 35! (I had to wait until I was 21 to finally snag my 35-year-old, LOLOL ugh wtf is wrong with me.)

So I remember being such a cunt and writing shit like I DO NOT LIKE HOW IT SMELLS HERE in my vacation journal and whining and screaming OMG WTF KIND OF BUG IS THAT and just making myself be as miserable as possible.

But then there was a cute guy working at the gift/convenience store thing attached to our hotel and he smiled at me once so then I was IN LOVE and suddenly OMG MOROCCO, I LOVE YOU! I vividly remember the song that was playing too, something reggae-ish and all I knew was that they were saying “a lalala la la” so I called it the “la la” song forever and you have to remember, this was like 1993 or 1994 and my carrier pigeon didn’t have Shazam capabilities, so I was left to hum this unknown song to myself for the rest of the trip. I’m pretty sure I even wrote about it in the postcards I was sending home to my friends, because I have always tried to drag my loved ones down into my pit of obsession.

Anyway, at some point, the details of which elude me 30 years later, I somehow learned that it was INNER CIRCLE – SWEAT and literally it’s known in parentheses as A LA LA SONG. I recently made Henry listen  to it with me and nope, does not hold up.

Inner Circle – Sweat (A La La La La Long) – YouTube

Back  to the picture though. I remember, as a 13-year-old girl, being really scared of the Casbah because the tour guide was like EVERYONE MUST HOLD ON TO EACH OTHER AS WE WALK THROUGH HERE BECAUSE SOMETIMES AMERICAN WOMEN ARE TAKEN.

But then somehow my aunt Sharon and I were chilling with a rug merchant, drinking mint tea (that’s one of the things I will never forget about Morocco – the wonderful taste of that mint tea) and bartering for a rug. I imagine we must have stopped there as an entire group because I 100% cannot imagine Globus or whoever we were traveling with being like, “Ok I know we just told you that American women are a hot commodity up in here, but please now enjoy an hour to wander unsupervised around the labyrinthian passages of the Casbah.”

I definitely posted this on here before, but here’s an AWESOME picture that Sharon took of me riding a camel. To this day, I fully believe that she cut my head off intentionally and I honestly probably deserved it. I can tell from here that those were my CHAMBRAY Keds. I was a KedHead 100% in middle school. I used to buy my Keds at Kaufmann’s! What a 1990s sentence!

You know, I was going to end this here but then I felt a surge of ambition and decided to dust off the vacation journal from 1993 and treat you with a passage. (OMG you guys will love this: In order to get my vacation journal from 1993, I had to ask Henry to open his BIG SHOT SERVICE GUY TRUNK that he gave to me to store all my diaries in (I have A LOT) and the lid thing came down and hit him in the head and knocked his glasses off and he is so mad now!! Then a few minutes later, I heard him spit into the sink and I screamed, “OMG did you just spit out a tooth??” and he barked, “NO, IT HIT ME IN THE HEAD WHERE THE MARK IS, NOT IN MY MOUTH” and it turns out he was only just brushing his teeth as he just woken up from a nap. Yes, all of this happened RIGHT WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM A NAP, RISE AND SHINE, MOTHERFUCKER.)

(Wouldn’t it be really funny if, right now, I was like, “Sorry blog friends, but on second thought, I have nothing to add from the journal after all”???)

Well, I had to skim through a lot of fatalistic woe is me nonsense, bitching about people complimenting Sharon on her “fake, decrepit tan,” and an incessant use of the word “gay” that I thankfully grew out of! And this was back when I wrote “Ha³” instead of ha ha ha because I WAS WAY TOO COOL FOR YOUR SCHOOL. Anyway, here’s a sample of a journal entry written by an entitled white 13-yo American asshole, yikes.

July 24, 1993 – Tangier

Today, we went to Malcolm Forbes’ house and toward the end of that tour, Sharon started to get to me. Then we went to the Casbah and the people there really scared me! I was gonna get my picture taken with a cobra around my neck but Sharon spoiled that. The Casbah is like a Labyrinth*. Our guide, Ishum, told us that if a man got lost, he’d be out in two days, but if a woman got lost, she’d be in there forever because a man would take her! These very persistent people were shoving merchandise in our faces. This one little boy asked me if I speak English, and then said, “Welcome to Tangier!” – how sweet! Then we went to a nice store & sat ↓, had some mint tea (umm- Morocco’s main drink) & watched a rug presentation. After about a 1/2 hour of “bartering,” we finally bought the rug for my room. The price was $650 and we got it for $320! Our guide kept whispering prices in our ears (well, Sharon’s). We were in the Casbah for God knows how long. Pappap & Grandma would NOT like it.

Sharon’s been nice to me ever since she bought my rug**. When she wasn’t gonna buy it, she said, “Do you really want it?” and I said, “No. It’s too much money. Maybe someday Pappap will come here and buy me it.” I think  that’s what did it.*** I <3 it!

* I knew how to spell this with no hesitation back then because that was one of my favorite movies

**Shouldn’t that be the other way around lol

***This tactic no longer works on Henry. I pull that shit now and he’s like “OK cool” and moves on with his day.

UPDATE: Henry has a blood blister forming on his TRUNK TRAUMA.

Oh boy, a new year, new books! I set my reading challenge to 75 for this year. I have had less time to read lately and don’t want to add unnecessary stress to my life when reading should be about joy and enrichment and not meeting some arbitrary number, amirite.

I’m going to try to keep these book wrap-ups more succinct from now on because I really fail miserably at recapping and reviewing and unless I feel some strong emotion (whether bad or good), I’m just kind of going through the motions, you know? And is it even valuable to anyone? Smrobably not! So now I’ll just leave the link to the synopsis on Goodreads and drop my rating.

Anyway, I read 10 books. Some more enjoyably than others, for fucking sure.

1. Black Girls Must Die Exhausted – Jayne Allen

Four stars! This is apparently the first book in a series so I’ll probably continue reading as others are released. Good slice of life book and the ending provided the warmth I was looking for during these frigid winter mths.

2. Not a Happy Family – Shari Lepena

ONE STAR, SK-SK-SK-SKIP IT. This is my second Lapena book and definitely MY LAST. I will not be swayed by Booktubers again! Insufferable, cardboard cut-out character. A cringefest in book-form.

Whodunnit? WHOCARES?

3. The Love Hypothesis – Ali Hazelwood

Four stars. Um. Heh heh heh. Heheheheheehehe. Romance is hit or miss with me but this was a motherfucking DELIGHT. It was so smartly written and the characters WERE EVERYTHING. LITERALLY MELTED MY SOUL.  Also, even though I’m not a scientist (I mean, I just struggled to even spell it, so…) and not in academia, the main character Olive really resonated with me in a very deep and personal way.

I did find the SEX SCENES pretty cringey but I am super hard to please (lol) in that regard so do with that what you will. But overall, I loved the story and the characters felt real.

4. Just Last Night – Mhairi McFarlane

FIVE FUCKING STARS. My only FIVE STAR read of the month, actually. And to think that I had DNF’d it several months ago, and here’s why: You know that I like to ping-pong back and forth between a physical book and an audiobook at all times right? Well, I had snagged the audio for this one on Scribd in the fall and thought it would be a good companion to take on my lunch time walks about Brookline. However! – and I feel like an asshole even admitting this – the narrator is Irish or Scottish, I dunno, and I had a really hard time understanding her thick brogue without also seeing the words in front of me. I really hate myself for saying that but there is something about all UK accents that just disagree with my brain. I had one chance in this lifetime to meet Robert Smith of the Cure, my #1 favorite singer of all time, and here I am in this small room doing a meet-n-greet with him, unable to understand anything he’s saying because of his accent.

Ugh.

But I wanted to give it another chance so I got the physical book from the library, and yo. YO. First of all, listen Lucy: any book that starts with a goddamn Pet Shop Boys quote is off to a grrrreat start. And, funnily, there were even several Cure shoutouts in this too!

I dunno how to explain what it was about this that stuck to my ribs like warm, gushy gobs of straight nostalgia, but the writing was chef’s kiss, the pop culture references were smart and snappy, the “Friend group dynamic” was everything I wish I had in my life right now. It made me think back to the days in my early 20s when I used to hang out at McCoy’s with the group of friends I had at that time (Janna is the only one of that group that I kept, everyone was all was TOXIC AF, no lost love there) but it’s not so much the memory of the PEOPLE as it is of that feeling of having somewhere familiar to go, where you walk in with all the confidence in the world because YOU’RE the regular, and these other people can step the fuck out of your way. I dunno, this book struck a chord with me and I rooted so hard for Eve.

Some of the lines in this book made me scream out loud, “I WISH I HAD WRITTEN THAT!” It’s almost like a giant long episode of Friends, but make it darker and British. I need to read every book this broad has written now.

5. Who Is Maud Dixon – Alexandra Andrews

Two stars, and I’m being generous here. WTF did I just read?? This was so implausible and not even in an entertaining way. I was excited to read it because a large portion of it is set in Morocco but it might as well have just been Iowa because I did not get any exotic Moroccan flavor from this AT ALL.

Lame.

6. With Teeth – Kristen Arnett 

A 2-star snooze.

An aside: the main character’s name is Sammie Lucas, which made me picture Sami and Lucas from Days Of Our Lives, which is probably the only positive thing I have to say about this. I read some 4- and 5-star reviews on Goodreads and heartily disagreed with each one. Book, bye. I should have DNF’d this, honestly.

7. The Manningtree Witches – A.K. Blakemore

OK, puritan historical fiction, I see you! Four stars from me! My only issue was that I did have a hard time keeping up with all of the characters but I thought this was brilliantly written and a really solid 17th century witch trial reimagining (though loosely based on actual history). Rebecca West was such a strong and vivid leading character, and I would have definitely wanted to be friends with her had I lived back then and also, thank god I hadn’t lived back then because how fucking miserable. Ugh.

And this review wouldn’t be complete without a FUCK MEN tossed in for good measure.

Wait P.S. how wonderful is that book cover? I’d like to redesign a whole-ass room using that palette, honestly.

8. New People – Danzy Senna

4 stars – strangely enjoyable yet extremely uncomfortable. Was recommended to me when I asked the library for personalized recs. Always ask your librarians, people.

P.S. This was set in 1990s NYC, which is evidently something I enjoy in books.

9. Where They Wait – Scott Carson

3 stars. Started out very strong and I thought, “Oh goodie maybe I finally found a horror novel that unsettles me” but then it got really boring and stupid 2/3 of the way through. Interesting premise though.

10. The Guncle – Steven Rowley

2 Stars. I’m definitely in the minority here but this book just didn’t do it for me. I can’t really pinpoint where it flopped for me, but it felt directionless and kind of redundant at times. It wasn’t that the writing itself was annoying, and even the characters weren’t too bad but there was some disconnect between the story and me, and I really hate that. Really bummed though because this sounded like something that could have been quirky and feel-good, but as it was, I didn’t even cry once! “You can’t spell nemesis with me, sis” is the best thing to come from the whole book.

Well, here we are, another lousy Monday. I wonder what it’s like to be that person who genuinely does not hate Mondays. Because even when my Mondays aren’t that bad, they’re still Mondays and Mondays might as well just be renamed Yuckday, you know? If we were all in first grade? Entering a contest to rename Monday?

The ration of caffeine to “everything else” in my body might be a bit skewed currently, apologies in advance.

You already know how my super exciting Saturday was so let’s dish about Sunday, a day I hate nearly as much as Mondays because I spend all day thinking about how Monday is the next day.

When I say that nearly ALL WEEKEND was spent sorting through non compos card orders and fanning myself over NCT, I truly am not exaggerating. You can ask Henry. He was here for it all.

Here is one of the cards from our scintillating serial killer Valentine line. I am sure you quite inspired to stock up.

I think one of my favorite parts of Sunday was when Henry was sitting in the dining room diligently constructing cards when 갑자기, he called out, “Is that Ten?” and when I confirmed, he said, “I could tell by his voice.” Henry is a true Kpop Dad, you guys. All the racists out there are making OH HO HO HO SO FUNNY statements about how “they” “all look the same,” and Papa Kpop over here is like I will debunk THAT stereotype with a quickness and also go to the next level with it, you bigots. 

Meanwhile, there were two white guys with beards in Emarosa that I could NEVER tell apart but I can name all 23 members of NCT so do with that what you will.

This is totally apropos of nothing but I just remembered that the other night, Henry made Chooch , who hates lasagna, lasagna for dinner and told him it was “baked pasta.” He ate the whole thing and didn’t say shit about it lol. This is honestly one of the best part of parenting; it’s so wild even after 15 years.

Since henry was so busy making cards all day (weekend), I suggested we get dinner from Mandy’s Pizza so he could have a break lol. But selfishly it was just because Mandy’s has an extensive vegan section of their menu and I am sometimes really missing the taste of pepperoni and sausage on my pizza, you know? I know you know.

We also got some mooncakes and a pandan cake from Onion Maiden because it was a real TREAT OURSELF day.

Speaking of treating myself, I fed myself from an NCT YouTube buffet and when I played Earthquake for the 87th time, this exchange happened:

Henry from the other room, mumbling, “oh. This song again.” It’s the current house anthem.

Me: What if we made a doorbell that, when pushed, projected the Earthquake track video onto the porch?

Henry: *soul leaves body*

Meanwhile, henry was bitching and moaning all day about his ICE SLIP SHOULDER. I do this thing where I act like I’m going to hug him and then I squeeze his shoulder real hard and he falls for it every time. After doing that one last time before bed, henry snapped and said, “YOU JUST CANT HELP YOURSELF CAN YOU” Looooool.

Well, that pretty much sums up my Sunday. Add in a bunch of cat & squirrel convos and you got it dude.

My current brain state has really taken to free-form, anything goes thought purges so we’re gonna keep that up because writing on here has been very therapeutic.

Also part of my therapy package was spending all Friday night doing Kpop cardio and watching hours of NCT YouTube content and laughing out loud which I hardly ever do when I’m watching things. The feeling of joy and excitement that Kpop has brought me over the last six years has been so special to me! It’s just hits different than the hysteria I used to feel over my old repertoire of bands. Like, I feel more inspired? More like I’m part of a secret society even though BTS blew the secret to smithereens?

Whenever people ask me HEY HOW’S IT GOING I always just say something generic to appease them when I really I want to blurt out OMG ITS GOING HILARIOUSLY I JUST WATCHED A 15 MINUTE VIDEO OF JAEMIN’S BRAIN BEING BUILT DIFFERENT.

God bless all the kids who put together these compilation videos so old Kpop bitches like me can laugh away another blah work week. They da real MVPs.

Lol I was jogging in place and watching YouTube when Henry came up behind me and scared the fuck out of me, like I literally jumped and spun around. “You scared me!” I screamed.

“Ugh you’re in your NCT Dream state,” Henry sighed and then mumbled, “oh my god.”

In other non-Kpop news, I’m listening to The Guncle on audio and it’s not as cute/charming/good as I expected it to be.

I sent this to my lil bro Corey and said I still can’t believe our mom ever let him in the car with me back then. He said his most vivid memory of being in my Eagle Talon is of his body pressed into the roof after leaving IKEA because I had so many boxes in the backseat, while I was flying down 376 with the windows down and cigarette smoke blowing back into his face. Big sister goals! The only difference is that my Talon had a CASSETTE PLAYER so I was definitely fumbling for a tape, not a CD lol.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZLFGMbI4b9/?utm_medium=copy_link

Huge life update: I LEFT THE HOUSE. I mean it was just to go to Target but wow, that felt good. Fuck winter. Fuck COVID.

And now Henry is picking up delectable treats.

We are now into the late afternoon segment of Saturday. It’s been a pretty decent day! Except omg every time I pick my phone up there is another news alert about Tom Brady retiring. Like ok so GO AWAY already. Jesus.

Now we’re doing the rest of the ceiling which was supposed to be done last week but then HENRY FELL ON ICE UGH.

Oh!!! When I came back from walking to the library, I told my cat Drew that it was too cold outside and I said it in Korean without even thinking about it!!! I still suck at it though.

I like this style of blogging. Just sitting here thinking about how light and easy it feels to just open the draft and add to it as the day goes along, like an old school written journal which I used to keep but then stopped because it always got too dark LOL ugh ouch.

Have you guys seen that When We Were Young music festival that was announced last week? It makes me laugh because it’s bands that I liked in my 20s but whose median fan base were teenagers. Anyway!! There have been a plethora of Jonny Craig memes generated because of this and it’s been brightening my days because fuck that douchebag you know. Anyway, there are a good bit of bands on that roster that I loved so much back then and it almost makes me want to fly to Vegas in October to attend but I probably won’t because I’ve seen them all more times than I can count and will it really be the same?

HOWEVER. If Chiodos were to announce a full OG lineup reunion, I’d be more inspired.

But until that happens, I probably won’t be bringing back my old side part anytime soon.

Or my bleached blond and chocolate dual-toned hair lol. That was…a real LEWK as the KIDS say.

Guys here is a clip of the kdrama Our Beloved Summer where the character Ung says my favorite Korean word “kapchugi.”

You could honestly turn it into a drinking game. It’s a word that is said A LOT in dramas, almost as much as jinjja which means “really.” I taught you something.

Look who’s actually gracing us with his presence!!! ^^^^ But then he does this annoying things where he walks into the room and goes, “Is that BTS” about whatever I’m watching on TV. He’s the ultimate jerk.

Well guys. It’s been a decent day. I am capping it off with some 막걸리 & NCT content.

I lied. We’re capping off the night with more Valentine packaging.

#ThisIsMyLife

Hello from Valentine Hell! Just kidding, I love our greeting card business! I’m sitting here waiting for my cue to help with packaging etc and I am feeling v. restless so I figured, hey I will hop onto the Blog and say hello to my…fans. Lolololol.

I feel like I have been a big downer lately so I am going to one of THEM THERE mind power tricks and talk about some things that I am looking forward to or currently extracting joy from.

• Magic Spoon released two new flava flavs this week so I scooped that shit up like cat litter, bitch. Mmm coming in hot with the yummy analogies.
• I bought myself a really colorful sweater that has MONKEYS on it. It’s from ModCloth and my ModCloth experiences have been very hit or miss so I guess I’ll check back when it arrives and LET YOU KNOW if the sleeves are like, abnormal or whatnot.
• Still currently deep in the throes of my NCT love fest. I have always liked them enough to know all their names etc but over the last year, they have become solidly placed in my Top 3 faves, and they’re my #1 as far as active groups go. Luckily, they keep their fans fed with so much nutritious content that I am rarely left wanting. Shout out to Janna who endures my manic fangirling in our Kakao chat & always has the right responses, such as: they are so very talented. (Her bias is Taeil, but overall her ult bias is Mino from Winner, in case I ever host a trivia night from my Brookline shanty.)
• Oatmeal. I’ve traded in my dinner smoothie bowls for a warmer version for winter and OATMEAL IT IS. Henry bas been making some bowl bowls of it for me and now I spend all day looking forward to oatmeal-for-dinner.
• A coworker called me a quadruple threat today. I mean, I really do have as many variants as COVID.
• I’ve been choosing random travel blog posts and especially live blogs from the road to read before I go to sleep at night and that has been making me happy too. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to take some extravagant two-week overseas vacation to make good memories – sometimes driving two hours to Cleveland can be action-packed and peppered with funny road trip antics. I will actually laugh out loud sometimes reading about our old family trips.
• Henry just fell walking up the basement steps and NGL that made me laugh.
• Twinkies coffee creamer. I like it, ok?
• Margie told me at work today that spring is like 50-some days away and that seems doable. We got this, guys! Actually, I’m just happy that January is nearly over because that is historically the worst winter month for me personally. I’m already starting to feel better than I was earlier in the month, too. Less anxious. More “this too shall pass.” I even reached out to a new person at work and have been having a nice email exchange getting to know them, and it’s made me feel more like the Erin That I Used To Know. (I feel like I need to blast that Ariana Grande/Zedd song right now lolololololugh.)
• It’s supposedly going to be in the 40s several days next week so I will get to go outside and walk instead of walking in place while being frustrated that I can settle on anything to watch on Netflix.

Oh! Henry is almost ready for me to help so BYE. STAN NCT. STAN SHINEE. STAN BIGBANG. THAT’S MY NEW SIGN-OFF BECAUSE I AM 12 ON THE INTERNET.

In true fangirl fashion, here’s my current fave NCT127 song. I’ll leave you with the track video (not the full song) and also the lyric video which is the full song. Janna’s bias Taeil has some real powerful parts.

IF YOU LISTEN AND LIKE IT LET ME KNOW SO I CAN TELL THEM. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

I didn’t get Henry anything for Christmas because I had been working on a photobook compiling every selfie / picture taken of us from 2021, aka our 20th year together. *insert RETCHING sound effects* But I knew that we would have pictures from Xmas and NYE that I’d want to include, therefore, I couldn’t actually get the book printed until this month.

Therefore #2: no Xmas gift for Henry. Big sad.

So then I thought I could just keep it hidden and give it to him for V-Day, except that it was delivered & sitting on the front porch when he came home from work yesterday, in a blatant SHUTTERFLY box.

And I’m a bad actor in situations like this so instead of playing it cool, I wrenched it out of his hands and screamed.

Well, now he just won’t get anything for Valentine’s Day, haha.

DO YOU THINK HE WILL TAKE IT TO WORK AND KEEP IT ON HIS DESK? Yeah probably not.

My favorite part of this was that after I gave it to him and walked away, he said that after the initial warm fuzzies wore off he thought to himself, “Shit, another thoughtful gift that will be lorded over me” and it’s hilarious because I was thinking the same thing as I was making it!

He’ll just have to keep doing projects for me as long as I make him thoughtful gifts, it’ll be a constant passive aggressive cycle until one of us dies, I guess.

WOW ON THAT UPLIFTING NOTE, I’m going back to doing Kpop cardio. Toodleloo my boo.

I HATE WINTER. I HATE IT I HATE IT. I don’t trust people who like this shitty, depressing, bleak season. Not even taking spycam pics of Henry and HNC shoveling together has cheered me up.

It makes me feel very disoriented too, on top of everything else. Like, I know for sure it has been a big contributor to the shitty feelings I’ve been having about myself lately which is why I’m trying to just purge the thoughts on here and then hope for a better day. There’s a thing I like to tell myself that I totally made up on my own and it’s called THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Literally coined that phrase. You heard it here first folks. Like & subscribe for a chance to win an embroidery of that shit.

I also hate winter because when it snows like this, or drops below 25 degrees, my daily walks get completely hijacked. And we all know I am a person of perpetual routine so even that small change is enough to knock my mental orbit off course.

So I have been doing lots of walking workouts and also walking/jogging in place while watching Netflix but then I can never find anything that holds my attention!

Here are some things I liked recently, so please help me find new shows:

• Archive 81
• Maid

Lol ok aside from kdramas, I think that’s it! I need shows that are less than an hour per episode to watch before work while steady jogging, and kdramas are usually like 90 minutes an episode – I need to watch those at night under a blanket on the couch!

I started to watch The Serpent but wasn’t feeling it.

Ugh.

I want to watch Anxious People but have to watch it with Henry since we both read the book.

I need a good, solid CW show like In the Dark.

in other EVERYTHING SUCKS news, Henry slipped on ice and hurt his dumb shoulder AND BUTT lol which sucks for me because he was almost done with the ceiling project but now that’s on hold until he’s able to hold his arm above his head again. Ugh to the max!!!

So, life currently is just: wake up, eat breakfast, find a way to numb the mind while accumulating at least 6,000 steps before it’s time to log on to work at 9, work, dinner, exercise, kdrama or rollercoaster videos.

Sigh.

I was determined to leave the house on Sunday, even if it was just a trip to Target, but then it SNOWED ALL DAY.

So as of this writing, it’s been over a week since I’ve been out in civilization. No wait!!! I went to the library on Saturday. But my security guard friend Robert wasn’t there so I just popped in, grab my holds, self-checked out and that was that. I like when Robert is there because he says nice things like ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, ERIN and it makes me feel SEEN you know? I have lived in Brookline since 1999 but never became a townie so Robert is the only one ’round these parts who knows me by name.

I wish I was the type of person who could just lean into winter weather and veg out on the couch with some wine and Kardashians (I dunno is that still a popular show for normal ppl??) and not give a shit about anything other that maximizing the cozy levels. But I can literally only do that if I have a fever :( (I mean, minus the Kardashian part.)

DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE U R STUCK ON THE PHONE WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

Oh!! Here’s a good thing that you have to pretend to care about to make me feel good: NCT127 won the Daesang award at the 2022 Seoul Music Awards, and that is the TOP AWARD. I am so proud of them!! I spent most of the weekend with their videos etc on in the background and I feel so inspired and motivated to whip out my credit card and buy the best ticket if they ever fucking announce a North American tour. I told Henry and he just nodded and whispered, “I know.” He won’t/can’t stop me either!! Imagining the possibility of seeing them this year actually fills me old school butterflies and it is great to be reminded that I still have some youth left in me.

Ideally, I wish SM would send the entire NCT conglomerate on tour so we could get all the subgroups on one stage, omg I would pay so much hard-earned money on that.

OK, I have to go and help Henry package the piles of Valentines that are currently accumulating on the dining room table. I’ll try to conjure more content for the rest of the week. I might have to tap into one of my alter egos, though, lol ugh oof.

Reporting live from a boring Saturday in Pittsburgh. Henry left a million hours ago to take Chooch to work and get more fluff for the ceiling project and has not yet returned so I’ve just been sitting here reading (just started “New People” – Danzy Senna) with boy Kpop videos on in the background.

And my cat Penelope is sprawled across me quite uncomfortably.

Anyway, I got some new Hipstamatic sets that I wanted to try out so I took some selfies because that’s just what people do, ok.

I really like this one because I went through a heavy phase in like, 2007 where I was very into this editing effect on my “real” photos. (Real as in, back when I actually used by DSLR on the regular and gave a shit about photography.)

This new film/lens set makes my skin look rough AF but I still like the moodiness of it.

Signature pose. What you can’t see in the background is how absolutely trashed the dining room is since it’s being used 24:7 as our Valentine card studio. I love our busy season but the mess that comes with it really makes me anxious. If we ever buy a house (Henry was just suggesting it again today but I panicked and said NO NOT YET lol), we need an extra room to make cards in, for real.

YES SO PRESH. THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY.

I can’t remember where these sunglasses turned up (I think Chooch found them?) but I’m so glad that I still have these Versace sunglasses. My aunt Sharon bought them for me when we were in Italy in 1996 because I was O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with Versace. If I’m remembering correctly, it likely had something to do with Foxy Brown, who was my fucking idol back then. So because Foxy Brown liked Versace, I did too. I can still vividly remember my BFF Lisa calling me in July of 1997 to tell me that Gianni Versace had been murdered, and I slid down the wall of my parent’s laundry room, phone cord wrapped around me, wailing NOOOOOOOO. I was wrecked.

In a recent meeting at work, Betty White’s death was brought up, and some people were sharing celebrity deaths that really affected them, and I was going to mention this but honestly I just have don’t the energy to talk in the damn video calls anymore.

It was bad enough that I had to do a MEET & GREET on Thursday with a new person that just started in my old group, but my former manager Amber did a really good job teeing me up so I actually said facts about myself without sounding winded and hyper, like I was being chased by Leatherface. I’m trying really hard to avoid medication but I’m starting to think that I might have to succumb to some kind of anti-anxiety drug here at some point because I shouldn’t be downing a shot of soju before a meeting to calm my nerves??? That’s not normal, I don’t think. (LOL JK I WOULD NEVER HA HA HA.)

Anyway, I’m glad these glasses made it through three moves since 1996 because I appreciate them more now that I’m a grown-up and it’s funny to me that 90s fashion is now trendy again so I won’t get to rock these ironically since it will just look like they’re new. I wish I still had all of my old cropped fuzzy sweaters. I actually just texted my mom to see if I left any clothes at her house when I moved out in 1998 and she said SHE WILL LOOK.

Oh, Henry finally came home BTW. Now he’s making me oatmeal for dinner and telling me to stop calling our cat Drew “PJ Chuckles” even though that’s one of her names, but OK, cook on, mothercheffer.

For this installment of Friday Five, here are five things I found in the attic several weekends ago when we were cleaning it out only to never return because it has been too fucking cold.

1. A Whole Bunch of Australian Boarding Passes, etc.

First of all? Literally do not remember my flights being on Air New Zealand?? But seeing “Century Travel” printed on that ticket brought me WAY back to sitting in the travel agency inside of Century III Mall with my mom, who told me on the way there that she was only going to help me if I LIED to the travel agent and said I needed to go to Canberra for a wedding and not a concert, because the truth was “soooo embarrassing.” Um, ok?

I also remember being a nervous wreck on that flight to Sydney, not because I was scared of flying (that psychological affliction wouldn’t come into play until a year later, after 9/11) but because I was so panicked about seeing the Cure and frantic to find a way to meet them.

(SPOILER ALERT: I met them.)

(It’s actually amazing how impactful this one-week period in my life turned out to be.)

2. BUT WHO TOOK THIS PICTURE?

OK, based on my hair, this was the fall of 1998, and Lisa and I were certainly at a haunted house, and these were definitely guys we must have befriended in line, but I don’t really remember? I think this could have been at Allen’s Haunted Hay Ride?

(Hey Erin, why not grab your old haunted house journals and check, that’s what they’re for, you know.) Actually, I think I kind of remember them, and one of them saying, “Whatever sinks your ship” in response to one of us saying “Whatever floats your boat”??? Also, why am I looking at them with such gross adoration?

But really, I want to know who took this picture.

Also, I don’t remember my hair being that curly. I thought I usually straightened it back then??

Also x2 I fucking loved that pleather jacket so much. It was from Contempo!!!

Sometime this weekend, I will peruse the ol’ haunted house journals and report back with THE DEETS. Maybe I’ll even TRANSCRIBE the whole sordid write-up. We’ll see how bored I am.

3. Before There Were Smartphones…

I used to scribble things that I wanted to blog about (back in the LiveJournal days!) on whatever scrap of paper I could find. When I stumbled upon this in the attic, I screamed because I totally remember what all these things reference: It was the spring of 2004 and these were things that happened while Henry and I were walking in one of the cemeteries on the Northside and Henry gave me the NOW INFAMOUS “moss is bad” speech, which my friend Alyson and I still reference and crack up over TO THIS DAY. Also, I remember wanting that sandwich (I think I was on the phone with Christina when I decided I needed this sandwich and wrote it down as a command for Henry, who dutifully went to Fredo’s in Dormont and procured said roasted veg sandwich for me.

The way I remember the most useless things, though…

4. MY PHIL COLLINS CONCERT PROGRAM!!

This is pretty self-explanatory but when Henry held it up from his corner of the attic, I screamed because obviously seeing Genesis in December had opened the floodgates of Phil Collins concert memories, and I could not for the life of me remember what happened to that program, and had figured I probably just never brought it with me when I moved out of my parents’ house in 1998.

Also, look at all the junk in the background! I swear we’re not hoarders. A good chunk of the stuff in the attic was all baby shit (a Pack-n-Play, stroller, etc) that we kept “just in case,” even though I was certain from the moment of THE C-SECTION that I was one-n-done, my friends. So, most of that stuff is now officially out of the attic. We still have a long way to go, though, because Henry has so many computer parts and other assorted accessories up there, and you can’t just throw that shit away. Plus, I have a TON of VHS tapes. So we have to find somewhere to donate those, at some point, ugh. Cleaning is so boring.

5. GAMEBOY PRINTER, ANYONE? 

I can’t even remember ever using this, yet here it is in my possession. I was hoping that maybe this was something that had turned into a hot commodity over the years, but according to eBay, these things are a dime a dozen. So now it went from cluttering the attic to cluttering my bedroom.

So, these are five things found during round 1 of Operation Attic Purge. Also found: literally like 4 boxes of letters from my penpals, such as my prisoner pen pal Aaron who used to complain to me about his baby mamas and then one day CONFESSED THAT HE LOVED ME and Henry was like, “Oh boy, took him long enough.

” He might be out of jail at this point. He didn’t kill anyone, just shot some guy in the ass.

Hi hello what’s up hola *hello in ASL*. Today I was in a video call at work and my former manager gave a shout out to my serial killers, and my friend Carrie pimped out the Golden Girl set in another meeting last week. And these happenings both made me realize that other people are promoting my Valentines more than I am, because I am a lazy businesslady.

So this is me, reminding you that I make Valentine cards: serial killers, porn stars, The Cure, Golden Girls, cult leaders, and kpop. WOW.

Anyway, today let’s ooh and ahh over one of the serial killer sets which used to be my top seller, but this year it appears to be Golden Girls which is so bittersweet because RIP Betty :(

***

I’m so much happier with the new backs!

I love these cards so much because they bring back fond memories of Valentine parties in elementary school, when we all got to fuck a shoebox with a glue stick and crepe paper and then run around stuffing Scooby Doo sentiments into everyone’s “mailbox” even if we didn’t like the person because THE TEACHER SAID. My favorite part was the candy and cupcakes though. I was a fat kid.

And then in fifth grade, I was the fat kid with a perm.

AND BRACES.

FML.

But I somehow still got Valentines so I didn’t hate the damn day.

Even now, as a grown as adult, I like passing out Valentines at work. I passed the serial killer ones out one year to mixed reviews. My one co-worker received an Albert Fish one and sent me an email that said, “OMG I just Wiki’d that guy. He was so terrible! Why would you give me that card?!”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Surprisingly, no one reported me to HR.

Life is all about taking risks, you know?

This set includes 16 different designs! Can you even imagine? They do not come with envelopes though because they’re mini-cards. There are so many uses for them! One of my customers told me that she hid all of them around the house for her husband to randomly discover as he went about life. I thought that was so cute!

The backs include the names of each hellion in case your recipient isn’t as up to speed on their murder shows as you and me. So I guess you could even say that these are EDUCATIONAL TOO!

They could even be used as gift tags! Party favors! (REMEMBER PRE-PANDEMIC PARTIES??)

What are you waiting for?? Go grab a set!

I also have sets for vintage porn stars, cult leaders, Golden Girls, The Cure, and you can find several kpop sets in my KPOP SHOP as well!

Why can’t we just have a normal house? – Drew, 1/15/21

Hello from the other side of yet another stupid house DIY project. For the last year, I have wanted to do some kind of wild lighting on the ceiling above the staircase. Originally, I wanted to do a cloud ceiling but then it got super popular on TikTok, so…pass.

Then I was going to try and go the “galaxy illumination” route with one of the thousand of celestial projectors that Instagram is always shoving in my face. I actually bought one even, but it was super terrible and not at all what I wanted.

Then we went to that 27 Club cafe in Cleveland and they had a small corner area decorated for Xmas with iridescent cellophane.

The operative words here are “cafe” and “Christmas” but as you know, my main aesthetic is “instagramable cafe” so this got the interior design school flunkee wheels turning in my head.

(Honestly can you imagine if I had actually become an interior designer? Like who would my clientele be, aside from every cafe in South Korea and like, Lady Gaga.

Actually, this sounds very promising.)

So I told Henry, “Ok this is my vision and it’s what we’re doing so you have no say in the matter. I said we’re doing it and we’re doing it” and the next thing I knew, he had ordered a roll of iridescent cellophane and got to work on the small ceiling space at the top of the steps.

I knew I wanted strips of LEDs under it to provide some sort of illumination, but once he held the cellophane over top of the strip, it just looked really bad.

Immediately I thought back to the OG cloud ceiling idea and wondered what it would look like if we got some of that fluff/stuffing/batting whatever the fuck it is and covered the strips with that in order to mute the lights a bit.

So Henry ran to the store right before the Big Snow Storm started on Saturday and came back with a huge bag of that shit. “They didn’t have anything smaller,” he shrugged.

And it’s a good thing actually because once he started in with the cellophane, I realized that it would actually better if we just covered the whole ceiling with the stuffing first, not just the parts where the LEDs were showing.

LOL YOU CAN SEE HENRY’S UNDEROOS.

While Henry was doing all that, I managed to find 4 tickets stubs from various Cure concerts I’ve attended over the years. Sadly, I don’t have the one from the very first time I saw them, in Canberra, Australia, and this is something that haunts me to this day but I will share it with you:

The whole band, including ROBERT SMITH, signed my ticket that day when I got to meet them before the show. When I came home and went back to work at stupid WEISS MEATS, it was SUGGESTED TO ME that I LAMINATE the ticket to PRESERVE IT.

But instead of PRESERVING IT, it fucking TURNED THE ENTIRE THING BLACK because the ticket wasn’t some plain ol’ Ticketmaster bullshit. It was actually really fancy and had fucking gold foil in it which is what made it burn, I guess, I don’t fucking know. I have a VIVID MEMORY of falling to my knees on my office floor in a very dramatic fashion (even more dramatic than two years later when Henry would call me there to tell me that I wasn’t approved to get a Nissan Altima, but we could get a SENTRA instead – ughhhhh) and cried, “Nooooooo!” And then I had the  bright idea to stick the ticket in the freezer, because maybe it just needed “to cool off.” Like it was a fucking Hypercolor t-shirt.

Spoiler alert: that did not work.

Luckily, I have photographs and actual video footage to prove that I met The Cure, which is way better than a signed ticket stub, but still. That ticket stub was so fancy.

Oh well.

I also don’t think I have a physical ticket from when I saw them at Riot Fest in 2014, either.

But it was a true feat that I was able to find these 4 stubs in basically less than an hour. I’m an organized pack rat.

I will forever appreciate (even though he probably doesn’t think I do) that Henry takes me lofty ideas and puts them into fruition. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people say, “Oh, I would love to do this or that in my house but my spouse won’t let me” and I do totally understand that if you’re sharing a space with someone, you have to do a lot of compromising so that it’s something you both feel comfortable in. The fact that Henry just rolls with it never fails to amaze me. I mean, unless this is also his secret aesthetic??

Lol.

I have the LEDs set to a slow color fade and it just really alleviates the whole little corridor area up there. And it’s also functional because prior to the LEDs on the ceiling, we had a pink lightbulb in there so it was always super dim and moody and you couldn’t really appreciate all the stuff on the wall but I also knew that going back  to a plain white light would ruin the whole vibe.

So now it’s the best of both worlds!

This is my new chill zone to sit after video meetings, where I can just ooze into the chair and stare at the wall or ceiling or floor or MY FUCKING NAVEL IF I WANT TO and just let myself decompress and calm the FUCK down. Breathe, Erin. Just goddamn breathe.

This table is still my favorite.

I think what I like most about where I live is that nearly everything in it is DIY/customized. Literally no one else in the entire world has a table like this!

THE AFOREMENTIONED PINK LIGHTBULB.

I needed filler for this one spot on the wall where the spacing was off between two pictures, so Henry made me this little enamel pin display.

Oh shit, and this damn painting! It’s actually pretty sentimental to me and here’s why:

It was August of 2005. Henry and I were visiting Christina in Cincinnati and I was excited because we were going to King’s Island for the first time ever while we were there. However! There was an eBay auction that I was heavily invested in for a Robert Smith painting. It was literally someone’s art class project, but I loved it and knew that I needed it in my collection. The problem was that was obviously pre-smartphones, so I couldn’t stay abreast of the auction while at King’s Island, and actually wrote a reminder on MY WRIST (which proves how dire this situation was because I can’t stand even lightly grazing my wrist with a feather, let alone writing on it with a pen) to leave the park at a certain time that evening so I could go back to Christina’s and use their computer to hopefully emerge victorious as the highest bidder.

Well, I obviously won! But I remember it being very stressful. And this is also memorable because during that same weekend trip, I noticed that I was suddenly averse to all things sweet and was having mad cravings for condiments. This was when I started to suspect I might be pregnant and SPOILER ALERT, I was! So I always associate this painting with that weekend, which was a very weird weekend, indeed.

Back  to the present: now that Henry has found his groove with the cellophane/stuffing combo, he has ordered more supplies so that the cloud ceiling can spread its way along the ceiling above the steps. What a fucking clowntown shitshow this house is, lol!

I didn’t do anything fun to announce my fave reads of 2021 like I did for 2020 (see: no motivation; Zombie In January) but here is a list of my favorites in no particular order. Also, I already wrote up lame reviews for each one throughout the year, so this is literally just a list with maybe a few thoughts peppered throughout, but please note that if someone were to ask me, “SAY* ERIN, CAN YOU RECOMMEND A BOOK FOR ME TO READ” I would 100% refer them to this list. These were SOLID 5 star reads, you guys.

*(After I typed this the other day, I felt inspired to be more “1950s pure” in my blog writings. You’re welcome.)

1. Know My Name – Chanel Miller

(Pro Tip: You should also follow her on Instragram.

2. Writers & Lovers – Lily King

I fell in love with Lily King while reading this. It was sublime.

3. The Dutch House – Ann Patchett

Because of my own family sitch, I related a lot to this and it gave me big throat lumps and wet eyes.

4. Yolk – Mary H.K. Choi

My third Mary H.K. Choi novel, and the one that solidified her as one of my current favorite writers. Please read this.

5. Goodbye, Vitamin – Rachel Khong

I laughed out loud but also cried out loud. Also, after reading this, I realized that whatever subgenre of literary fiction/contemporary fiction you would categorize this, it’s clearly my favorite genre/style. I should ask my library to match me with similar books, shouldn’t I?

6. Crying In H-Mart – Michelle Zauner

Surely you’ve heard of this, if not already read it. It was one of the most hyped books of 2021 and deservedly so! Zauner is an exquisite writer, and her story is raw and real. Bonus: if you’re a Korean food aficionado like I am, you will really really really love all the references and food talk. But um, be prepared to cry at least a little. Unless you’re Henry. He is going to read this and I bet he won’t cry.

7. Anxious People – Fredrik Backman

I fully expected the follow-up to Backman’s “Beartown” to be in my top reads of 2021, but when I read Anxious People, it knocked “Us Against You” off the list. Backman is a master of writing an “assemble cast.” Every single person in this book was multi-dimensional, memorable, and loveable in spite of their flaws. I only just recently saw that this was turned into a Netflix mini-series and I’m excited to watch it, but also nervous because I could not get past the first episode of the Beartown series on HBO.

8. What Comes After – JoAnne Tompkins

If this book was on Facebook, its status should just be “It’s Complicated.” I read this while we were on our rollercoaster road trip over the summer and had to keep scrounging the car for napkins because I was crying so hard. Found family tropes always get me.

9. Razorblade Tears – S.A Crosby

This was a wild, emotional, violent, funny, scary, intense, sad ride. Henry loved it too!

10. In My Dreams I Hold a Knife – Ashley Winstead

OK Ashley Winstead. I see you. Looking forward to reading the one!

11. Cackle – Rachel Harrison

I just had a straight-up bitchin’ time reading this. The writing was hilarious, the small town fall vibes are cozy, and the characters are v.memorable. (RALPH FOR BEST SUPPORTING CHARACTER.)

12. Build Your House Around My Body – Violet Kupersmith 

This book has so much going on, it is so rich with culture and folklore, and something that I will never forget. It deserves a re-read.

13. Butter Honey Pig Bread – Francesca Ekwuyasi

When I read books as intelligent and masterfully written as this one, I am so fucking glad that I never wanted to be a novelist because how?? This one blew my mind. I want to buy my own copy just so I can hug it and then re-read it until I can quote from it in my sleep.

***

Well, that’s a wrap. Best 13 from 2021. (I think I had 13 in my list last year too!?) Gotta use this as an excuse to repost a NCT127 “Favorite” video for the 87th time, lol:

We’re supposed to be getting some big snowstorm today at some point so Henry is at THE STORE right now while it’s still clear out there and I’m just sitting here watching my fave YouTube channels, thinking about all the things in my head that I want to purge. I’m feeling vulnerable to the nth power lately so this is likely to be A Mess.

It’s our busy greeting card season so the house is imploding with card-making materials, and clutter really does a shitty thing to my mental well-being. Add to that the fact that Henrys grandkids are next door acting like hellions and getting screamed at by their parents and I already feel like I have cabin fever without a single snowflake having fallen.

We are still in the middle of the THROW AWAY FROM THE ATTIC project but it is way too cold this weekend to do work up there so we’re focusing on the Cure section of the house which is almost complete.

This is a passage from a book I read last week and while I’m not in academia, I fucking FELT THIS. I have recently been in a situation at work where I am made to feel this way quite regularly and I thought I could just brush it off but after feeling like shit in a recent meeting in the beginning of the year and trying to bottle it up, it all came pouring out of me yesterday like the most emotional geyser and Henry had to sit with me while I bawled my face off and did the shudder-breathing and my heart was racing so fast and I realized, “is this worth it?” It’s a job. Not a career.

It started in the beginning of this project I was dumped into, when one of my “colleagues” made some shitty comment about how formal education is better than institutional knowledge and ok, ouch. That cut deep. I have always felt inadequate in that department, having never finished college (“oh, I’ll go back once my kid is in school,” she said. “Oh I’ll finish it one day real soon,” she said.) but I feel that I work hard and learn fast and maybe I’m not down with all the cliched and eye-rolling business meeting lingo which basically just makes people sound like they’re expelling empty air and not saying anything real, and maybe I’m not as smart on paper as everyone else there, and maybe I don’t show everyone there my true outgoing personality because I feel so self-conscious about everything else that by the time it’s my turn to speak up, my voice wavers and everything I say is utter nonsense and if anyone who knows me outside of that capacity ever witnessed it, they would say, “This is not the Erin that I know.”

So I guess this year my only goal is to work on being ERIN RACHELLE in every area of my life and stop keeping my head down at work because I feel like a STOOP every single day. Or just find a new job. Lol. Whichever happens first.

(Aso I think I have just reached my WFH limit. I’d like to go into the office at least once a week and feel like a normal human again. I am dying for in person meetings again. Fuck these video calls, I am going to spontaneously combust one day. Hopefully ON VIDEO.)

Oh and in addition to this (stupid, avoidable) stress, I watched the whole season of Maid on Netflix and it triggered so much from the beginning of the very first episode. When I was a kid, I had flashbacks (didn’t know they were real at the time) of my mom running with me in her arms down the steps and out of our first house, with my birth dad chasing right behind her. I was LITTLE then, like still a baby. And I’m seeing it from a third-person POV, like a movie, which is bizarre. But yeah, my mom is a survivor of domestic violence and then I also briefly experienced it when I was a teenager and in a relationship with Psycho Mike. What if I hadn’t gotten out of it??

Every episode of that show made my pulse gallop and I cried so much and felt sick to my stomach. I hope that it helps people currently in an abusive relationship realize that abuse comes in many forms and gives them the courage to leave.

Thanks for letting me share.

On to better things:

Oh never mind. Someone wasn’t prepared and didn’t get enough LED lights so our project is on hold and now I’m frustrated, anxious, and angry so no, I don’t have “better things” to move onto right now.

Let me take a squirrel break. Brb.

Ok I saw my Chubbs on the porch and then Mr Gray Guy popped over for some hazelnuts and then Henry redid the LED lights so it might work now but we’re taking a kdrama break.

I needed a picture of myself wearing blue for some anti-human trafficking campaign thingie so that is what this is. OK??

Henry went to the store and came back with a cinnamon roll-edition Snickers for us to share and I feel moderately better now.

I’ll never forget at the dinner we had after my Pappap’s funeral in 1996, my cousin Ginny (whom I believe is some kind of math genius as a profession) leaned into me and whispered, “Chocolate is good for depression.” My friend Christy was right next to me and heard it too so it’s one of those things we always jokingly reference over the years but damn if it isn’t true.

Speaking of Christy, everyone featured in this picture has agreed to participate in a recreation of it at some point, probably when it’s not gross winter.

PRO TIP APROPOS OF NOTHING: if I have a candle in a pretty container, I like to repurpose it as plant pot once the wick has burned down.

In case you were wondering, the snow has officially started. I hope my squirrels are ok.

Chooch took the T to the mall earlier today with his friends. Whenever he makes a purchase, Henry gets a text because it’s some BABY CREDIT CARD that chooch is so embarrassed about having but none of his friends have credit cards so….? Anyway! He made an $11 purchase at Macy’s and we were making guesses for what we thought it was because dude never shops at Macy’s?? We both settled on either a hat or a face mask because he keeps misplacing his masks and then it becomes everyone’s problem because Ugh Teens. When he came home, he had a frog-face kickball in his arms. That is what he bought at Macy’s.

Last night, Henry and I stopped to get mediocre coffee at Dunkin Donuts on our way home from whatever errands we were running, and this happened:

Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru lady: Have a good night.

Henry, to her: You also.

Henry, to me: I say “you also” now.

If I sent out a family newsletter, I’d include that huge development.

Well, I am going to go and plan a potential roller coaster trip for the future because that usually helps me decompress. I might need more chocolate soon though.

And here is the last half of the books I read in December. I almost forgot to come back and do this. #ASeriousBlogger

8. The Haunting of Ashburn House – Darcy Coates

Um, I could not for the life of me remember reading this at first, but then I read the synopsis and was like, “Oh yeah, that book.” Despite the fact that it’s apparently not very memorable to me, I’m pretty sure I found it to be at least somewhat decent. There were creepy moments for sure (um, an entire upstairs without electricity and a hallway of old family portraits? Yeah, eff that noise) and a cat that I was pretty invested in. It was frustrating the amount of times the main character, who had just moved into this haunted house, went into the attic like it was no big deal. (OK maybe only two or three but that was two or three more times I would have, for sure).

Wait, more things about this book is coming back to me now and I remember that it actually had a pretty decent back story and that I loved the ending. Yeah, this book was good. Lol.

Did I sell it? Lol.

9. The Dead & the Dark – Courtney Gould

I really liked this YA supernatural mystery. Great small lake town vibes, catchy dialogue between the characters, and an interesting mystery that held my attention during a month where a million different things were on the sidelines screaming LOOK OVER HERE! I liked that the main character had two dads, if that makes a difference.

I don’t really have anything else to say about this one. It was good. I would read more from Courtney Gould. The end.

10. Butter Honey Pig Bread – Francesca Ekwuyasi

OK seriously, the five-star reads came THROUGH in December, though. This book!!!!!!! It was exquisite. The chapters are split between two Nigerian twin sisters, and their mother, who is believed to be an Ogbanje (non-human spirit that brings the family bad luck). There is a lot of trauma-exploration in these pages, and it was quite painful to read at times. All three women are written with so much care and depth that I felt for each of them like they were my own family and just wanted them all to find peace and happiness.

It’s a real ride. I think Taiye was my favorite character to follow. It was fun to read about her culinary experiences in different countries.

I’ve read numerous novels now by Nigerian authors and I think this has become one of my favorite genres. I don’t know what else to say about this because it’s so layered and complicated, but just know that it is brilliant and will stick with you for a long time. I remember finishing it and just exhaling bigly and then of course I started to cry every time I thought about it afterward. Because that’s who I am!

11. Yearbook – Seth Rogen

I’m not some big diehard Seth Rogen fan by any means, and even for me, his memoir was wildly entertaining. Henry and I both listened to it on audio because it’s narrated by him and like, 100 other people. It’s not your standard “I was born in [insert date] in a small town in [insert country]” type of chronological bullshit. No, this is a collection of stories from his life, some from his childhood that have shaped him, some drug-related ones that make you wonder how he isn’t fucking dead, and some insider industry bullshit that definitely does not make me envy him at all. There were plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, but mostly, I was just smiling real big on my morning walks, feeling like I had friend along telling me outrageous stories.

Oh! I should note that the sole reason I was even inspired to pick this up was because MAGA freaks started leaving bad reviews on it before it was even published all because of his very public Twitter feud with Ted Cruz (lol) and his outspokenness about Trump. Had to give him my support, and I’m glad that I did because this was a real fun time!

12. Cursed Bunny – Chung Bora 

First, let’s take a few seconds to appreciate this poppin’ cover. I want to decorate a room based on this palette.

Second, let’s remind this blog author that she should stop picking up short story collections because they just aren’t her cup of tea.

OK, only some of the stories weren’t for me this time around. The author has an MA in Russian and East European area studies from Yale University and a PhD in Slavic literature from Indiana University (per her Goodreads author profile) and you can reallllly tell. I do not say this in a bad way at all. There was a lot of folklore sprinkled in these pages, and those were sadly the ones that I liked the least which isn’t surprising to me because I generally just don’t like folklore all that much. I actually took an Indo-European Folklore class at Pitt because I thought it would be fucking cool, man, but it was kind of…not. Lots of boring-ass stories that all had the same meaning.

(I remember the first day of this class SO VIVIDLY because I had just super recently found out that I was pregnant and my friends were like, “OK but you are very early into the pregnancy so you shouldn’t make any announcement until you’re at least through the first trimester” and I was like, “Mmm, OK, I hear your sage advice” and then in my first class in the fall semester, when it was my turn to introduce myself, I was like, “HELLO I’M ERIN AND I’M PREGNANT” lol. My friend Sarah was in that class with me and was like, “OMG you did not. just….” lol. OH BUT I DID, Also, most of the students in that class were young – I was 25 – so they were like horrified and didn’t know if they were supposed to be happy for me or what. Say your name, but make it awkward, was the assignment right?)

So, there are some stories in this collection that have that same feel, but there were some that I was like, “WTF is happening, this is cray and I love it” like the very first story (The Head) had me laughing and also feeling disgusted at the same. I also loved “The Reunion,” which was a beautiful ghost story set in Poland, “Home Sweet Home,” about a couple who buy a haunted/cursed building, and the title story which was just a real solid revenge tale.

13. The Witch Elm – Tana French

I had always avoided Tana French because I didn’t feel like getting involved in a series, which I think is what she normally writes, right? Anyway, then I found out that The Witch Elm is a stand-alone so I gave it a shot. Oof, this was a big boy! And DENSE. The thing that happens doesn’t even happen until like, page 150 or something so it’s a lot of wondering, “OK but where are we going with this?” However, Tana French has a way of writing characters and their conversations that made me literally not even care if the thing happened or not because I was just generally invested in everyone by this point.

ESPECIALLY HUGO.

This was a solid mystery but also a strong family drama. I came so close to giving it five stars but I felt the ending was just a bit too dragged out. However, I will definitely be reading more from her and I guess at some point will dig into that Dublin Murder Squad series that is so beloved by many.

***

OK guys. That’ll do it for 2021 (except for one more post about my faves of the year) but my resolution for 2022 is to do one book wrap-up a month with just my rating and only go into more detail for the ones I REALLY SUPER LOVED or had otherwise some type of strong feeling for. Because reviewing books is not my jam, but I do like to memorialize here the ones I read.

Now I have to go assist Henry, who is currently attempting to cover the ceiling above our staircase with iridescent cellophane, lol, pray for us.

You guys. It has been two whole days since the thing I’m about to tell you has happened but I still have not calmed down. I wanted to write about it that very same day but I couldn’t sit still long enough!!

OK, OK, remember how to tell a story, Erin. Back up. Start at the beginning. Give the people some background. If you are a long time reader, you might remember me mentioning from time to time an older gentleman in my neighborhood with a proclivity toward public profanity. In the past, I have (cruelly, I know) referred to him as Tourette’s but in my older years, trying to be the best version of myself, I have been trying to refer to him as Angry Guy but…you know, old habits. So if you happen to go back and read any of my older posts about him just remember me: I KNOW I’M AN ASSHOLE AND I AM TRYING TO BE BEST (lol).

I see this dude everywhere in Brookline and I even know where he lives because I was on a walk one time and saw him up ahead and took a detour just so I could follow him. Hey, I had nothing else going on that day! Or…any day. Ever.

Sometimes he’s in a fine mood, like when I saw him while I was standing outside of CVS and we had a discussion about FACE MASKS. Sometimes he is…not in such a fine mood, like several weeks ago when he walked by my house yelling at someone (or no one) on the phone:

The best part of this was when I originally went to start recording, he was still walking toward my house and MY FUCKING FLASH CAME ON. Henry was like, “Oh my god” and slithered further into the house, lol.

One time, he appeared on the scene of a hit & run that happened in front of my house and it was honestly the most exciting part of the whole incident for me.

Let’s just say that this guy has been a big enough part of my life that when I say to my friends, “Hey, you know that one guy…” and they are like, “Yes, the one who you videotaped wrestling with a lawnmower that one time?” And I am like, “Yes, him.”

So, now the story can begin for real.

It was Wednesday morning,  still pretty early, like around 6:30AM. I had to walk to the post office on Brookline Blvd to drop off some Etsy stuff. I was really pissed off about it too because Henry was supposed to take it and mail it, but WHATEVER.  I was about a block away from my house on my return walk, still steaming and fuming over Henry’s laziness, when I noticed that several cars had stopped, including a small school bus. That’s when I realized that there was a man in the middle of the road, just standing there.

IT WAS HIM. THE GUY.

I started to walk faster because I needed to be a part of this action, and how. By the time I arrived on the scene, the school bus driver had gotten out and was leading THE GUY back to the sidewalk. He kept saying he was fine and she was like “Ok but you can’t stand in the road, someone will hit you” (it was still dark out!) and he was like, “I just need to get to Dormont.” She said asked if he needed a ride and after he said yes, she goes, “I can’t drive you, sir, I have kids on the bus.”

WELL, WHY DID YOU ASK THEN?

SO I SAID: “I can drive you! My car is parked just a block away.” I’m like, panting as I’m saying this, so excited to make additional contact with THIS FAMOUS GUY.

He said, “Oh really young lady, thank you! I just need to go to Eat n Park” and in my head, I’m like, “Yeah I know” because sometimes on my morning walks, I see him sitting in Eat n Park with OTHER (PROBABLY) WEIRD PEOPLE!! So I know that when I see him walking by my house in the mornings, that is where he’s going. ONE TIME CHOOCH AND I WERE THERE AT THE SAME TIME AS HIM! And it was like a week after Chooch rode past him on his bike, and the guy got scared, jumped dramatically and screamed, “YOU CRAZY GUY, WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU!” and Chooch was so excited to have gotten yelled at by him. (It’s a Brookline thing.)

So the bus driver and I got him to stand safely on the corner and I ran, and I mean I RAN, all the way down the block to get my car, and the whole  time I’m going “OMG OMG OMG.” And the sitch was still fresh enough that a bit of traffic had built up so people in their cars were watching and I was like “YES! LOOK AT ME! NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES, BUT SUPER ADORABLE FLUFFY BLUE COATS!” and I could feel their eyes on me, wondering what the root of the conflict was but knowing without a shadow of a doubt that THIS YOUNG LADY was the literal LIFE SAVER!

AND THEN HE WAS IN MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!! (Well, not right away. First, I pulled up to the curb and rolled down the window and said, “OK here I am!” and he just stood there, and now cars were getting angry and having to pass me, and he’s still looking at me like, “WHY ARE YOU STOPPED HERE” and I’m like, “Are you ready?” and he’s like, “OH, ARE YOU THE GIRL” and four years of being called THE GIRL at dreaded Weiss Meats poured over my head like a bucket of icy PTSD, but that’s neither here nor there.)

HIS NAME IS DAVID!!!!!!!

While I was navigating the back streets of Brookline to get back onto the main drag, we made casual small talk about the weather. I told him I had almost slipped on ice on my way to the post office. “DID YOU?” he gasped, and he seemed genuinely very concerned about this. He thanked me again for doing this and I brushed it off. “It’s no problem, I only live right there across the church so I’m not going out of my way,” and then I said to him, casually, “Say*, I think you used to live a few houses up from me, didn’t you?” because he totally lived next door to Hot Naybor Chris a long time ago, and he said, “No. Never. I never lived on Pioneer.” Wow, OK, DAVID.

*(Also, LOL I have never started a sentence that way in real life and wanted to see how it felt to act as though I did. It felt a little like Leave It To Beaver.)

Anyway, it literally only took me like 2 minutes to get him to Eat n Park and when he was getting out of my car, he said, “Thank you again, young lady. I hope you become a millionaire someday.”

!!!!!

And the fact that he kept calling me Young Lady made me start imagining him as the white rabbit AND I AM ALICE.

OK IS THIS WEIRD? THIS IS WEIRD. EVEN FOR ME. Not the mood I was going for.

Hang on.

We’ll go with this one. (You guys, I think this image is from ALAMY.)

(ALSO THIS WAS THE BEST VERSION OF ALICE & WONDERLAND, FIGHT ME. I was obsessed with Carol Channing.)

I kept trying to call Henry right after and he wasn’t answering so I was texting him 911 and when he finally called back, I blurted out: YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO WAS IN OUR CAR and he was like “are you effing kidding, this was the emergency?”

I’d like to point out that Henry and Chooch both had a first guess of “Buddy” (the squirrel), which speaks volumes to how rich my life has been lately.

Well, that’s my story about how I got to be a hero for once, suck it, Henry. Sorry it was so harried, I have residual adrenaline and needed to just type it out without any care or thought. Oh wait, that’s my procedure for ALL blog posts.

(On a serious note though: he did seem coherent like he knew his name & was able to talk normally, and I kept asking him if he was OK. He said yes, so I’m hoping that maybe he just needed to get some food, and because I’m a creep, I know that other people would be joining him so if he needed medical attention, they would be able to do something??  But I have seen him since and he seems fine!)

(On another serious note, I hope this hasn’t reignited my penchant for picking up hitchhikers. Probably not. At least not until we’re on the other side of this pandemic.)