Yo Brenda I’m really excited to tell you something today: sometime last month, I finagled Henry into doing low impact walking workouts. He is very picky about the ones he will do: No Gina B., but he does enjoy himself some Leslie Sansone. However!! The one he seems to like the most is MY BOY, Pittsburgh’s Own PAUL EUGENE.

It must be the matching beards.

In the beginning, he looked just like he does in that photo up there (also my arms are 100% not that thin, that is one hell of an iPhone optical illusion), but gradually he has begun to enjoy it and actually is motivated! He doesn’t act like I am forcing him to do it anymore and he even PUTS FORTH EFFORT!

And I’m excited to announce that starting January 1 (what? cliché you say?), Henry has been doing Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution workout series with me! This is my 4th time doing it (I only officially made it the whole way through twice though) and can attest that it is a wonderful kick-start if you’re trying to make physical changes to your body. It has made me feel SO STRONG and by the end of the program, I was able to do rock star jumps and all kinds of other crazy shit that I never would have imagined possible. (Still suck at push-ups, but there is this one version called the wheel pushup where you get into a back-bend position and do push-ups that way and somehow I was able to do those and felt like a motherfucking Ninja Warrior, bitch.)

I am extremely stoked about this because you guys – Jillian is my queen and also because Henry admitted to me the other day that he likes it! Even though I’m very annoying and quote parts of it like it’s a movie I grew up watching every night on VHS, but he hasn’t yelled at me to stop yet! I have made gentle suggestions over the years that he joins me when I’m exercising and I always get the “I MOVE AROUND ALL DAY AT WORK, MY JOB IS NOT EASY” and I get that, I do, but I also think that there is something to be said for good old-fashioned strength  training and cardio workouts. You know? I’m not fucking bikini body, TRUST, but a regular exercise regimen has really improved the quality of my life. And I’ve seen it change Chooch’s life too, and I want Henry to be the healthiest version of himself as possible!

We are almost done with level 1 & 2 and will be starting 3 & 4 this weekend, and I’m so excited that he’s made it through the first two weeks! The beginning is the toughest part, but as Jillian says, “If you have a WHY, you can tolerate any HOW.”

I’m so stoked about this that I even quickly considered switching professional gears and becoming a life coach, lol, can you imagine? Me? Coaching people on their actual LIVES? No one can fully control what happens in life, any one us could get hit by a bus tomorrow or garroted by the modern day Ted Bundy, but at least we’ll die with the knowledge that we could do a burpee.

LOOK HOW MOTIVATIONAL I AM. I’m going to put that on business card.

We still do Paul Eugene on our Jillian “off” days. Henry enjoys Paul Eugene workouts so much that when I said, “I’m going to buy us Paul Eugene merch. Which color do you want?” he actually took some time to peruse his options. Chooch came downstairs and when he saw us wearing our fresh PE merch, he shook his head in embarrassment, said “No,” and then went right back up to his room. SOMEONE’S JELLY. Maybe I’ll get him a shirt for his birthday. AND THEN WE CAN WEAR THEM TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK TOGETHER! I always wanted to go to an amusement park in matching outfits.

As previously mentioned, Henry and I have been going through the tedious and boring chore of cleaning out the attic. Not surprisingly, some historic gems have been unearthed, like this shirt I bought in 1998, perhaps from Hot Topic back when Hot Topic was just regular old mall goth as opposed to whatever den of commercial crap it’s become over the years (don’t they literally seel Spongebob merch there?? 1990s Hot Topic would have never…). Or it might have been from Slacker, which was (is? I think it still exists) a shop on the Southside where you could get cloves and BDSM accouterment, lol. I definitely bought clothes from there on several occasions during my Fake Goth phase but I mostly bought novelty cigarettes to smoke with my purple cigarette holder.

I was really into smoking back then.

What a brag.

But yeah, as mentioned off and on in this garbage dump of words over the years, I went through a solid goth phase from probably 1998 to 2001, except that it was mostly just the music that I liked to enjoy in the privacy of my own home while chatting with Internet friends on Darkchat who probably were actual legit goths with an Ann Rice and Poppy Z. Brite library, and not a POSEUR like me lol.

I don’t think I ever wore this shirt more than twice. Once was definitely post-Dracula’s Ball. I had been wearing a corseted dress all night and this was my CASUAL GOTH LOUNGE WEAR that I changed into apparently. Probably made sense at the time? I have a vague recollection of changing into it in a parked car at like 1AM.

Anyway, Henry was like WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH THIS. For a split second, I nearly put it in the donate pile. But then I reconsidered. There might be opportunities to use it for costumes or photo shoots, see also: it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Of course, I couldn’t resist temptation and had to try it on. You know, just to see if I would feel inspired to dust off my Black Bible goth CD compilation (and then also search the house for something on which to play said CDs…)

I still have the choker that I was wearing in the OG picture and knew exactly where it was too, so recreating this photo was a breeze except that as usual, I was being the Queen of Not Fully Understanding the Assignment and therefore had my hands facing out instead of up.

Wow you guys, I’m happy to report that this shirt is FUCKING COZY. I had no idea! Probably because I was drunk any time I wore it in the past so why would I remember a shirt’s comfort level.

Please enjoy this picture of me with GOTH MICHAEL BOLTON, after me and this broad I was friends with at the time (actually, I had only just met her IRL after sort of knowing her from Darkchat and decided, “Yes, Stranger Lady, I shall get into your free candymobile and attend a goth dance party in Philly and then you will promptly meet some old man who you become convinced is a real life vampire and proceed to sloppily make out with him leaving me to wander around alone and stumble into a veritable DRUG DUNGEON.”

Anyway, Goth Michael Bolton was the sidekick of Real-Life Vampire (but probably actually IT Guy) so I got stuck with him while that broad (with whom I actually stayed friends for several years but she is actually one of the most toxic, habitually-lying people I have ever met) giggled and acted amazed while Real-Life Vampire added HTML to his WebTV email address.

(I actually wrote about this night for a writing assignment when I was taking a creative non-fiction class at Pitt and I got an A but the last time I re-read it, my whole body cringed. I can’t believe I was actually in college for writing lol. )

Speaking of that broad, here she is on another night when we went to this guy SHADOE‘s apartment for dinner and she was like “OMG please let me borrow that shirt, I like this guy so much” and then we got there and she was like, “OMG I DO NOT LIKE THIS GUY” after meeting him in person, yet proceeded to let him tie her up and cut with a huge knife??? IN FRONT OF ME???

Anyway, blood-letting aside, I thought this guy was lovely and we actually stayed friends for quite some time after he found out that she was married and a pathological liar.

It’s also super surprising I even still have this shirt in my possession considering I let her borrow it and she was the most untrustworthy person in the whole world. (Although she did help me get rid of this guy I thought I was in love with from the aforementioned goth chatroom Darkchat and thought that yes, it would be a great idea for him to use his mother’s miles and fly here from Vancouver only for me to immediately feel smothered and creeped out by his constant need to serenade me with Joy Division songs while crying.

My life was very different pre-Henry.

Clearly.

Also, I can tell you that in that picture up there, she was either pouring a glass of Tequila Rose or Manischewitz wine, because those were our go-to alcohols back then, I guess??

Also x2, I was really into cropped rug-like sweaters during those days. I had one that was yellow and my friends Jon and Justin loved calling it the Big Bird shirt. I saw that these were back in style again recently, maybe two or three winters ago, and I almost bought one from the junior’s section of JC Penney’s lol.

Also x3, Shadoe if you’re out there, I miss you. Hit me up. You were a real one. :(

And here’s a close-up of The Choker, which I actually bought from a vendor at the Dracula’s Ball. It’s hilarious to me how much of an impact that one night had on me, evidently. I mean, I have a scar because of it, and if you read the linked post up there, YOU WILL KNOW WHY. #ClickBait

Well, we barely made a dent in the attic cleaning project, so who knows what else I will find? CHECK BACK SOON – lol.

Edited to add this outtake, which cracks me up because you can see my VERY GOTH FitBit:

2021 was still a Not Great Year overall but we definitely curated a nice collection of little memories once we were vaccinated. The best thing about that was being able to safely visit amusement parks again. I know that most of them were open during 2020 but we didn’t want to take any risks by visiting them, even with mask mandates and social distancing. Even after getting vaccinated, it was still kind of weird at first, but we just made sure we slathered on the hand sanitizer and avoided congested areas.

Plus, we got to resume our tradition of CAROUSELFIES! Which is the lamest word I’ve ever come up with but it makes me laugh every time I type it.

Carouselfie.

How fucking dumb, lol.

Anyway, I wanted to share a photo dump of all the carouselfies we took over 2021, starting with this really shitty one that Henry took of us at the Columbus Zoo. You can tell he was out of practice, lol.

This was so bad that I didn’t even print it out for the carouselfie wall, lol.

The first actual amusement park we went to was Hershey Park in May, and the park announced that they were standing down on the mask mandate like, the day before we went and if we’re being honest, I was not OK with that. We still wore ours, but slipped them down for this photo since no one was around. I felt scandalous.

Oh, I should also note that while we went to 19 different amusement parks in 2021, we didn’t take carouselfies at all of them. Some of them either didn’t have carousels (Six Flags Darien Lake, Six Flags America, Indiana Beach), or we had previously taken a carouseflie on an earlier visit (Kennywood, King’s Dominion, & Cedar Point), or I was pouting over who knows what and said JUST FORGET IT like I did when we were at Six Flags Great Escape, lol. I think also I was pissed off at Carowinds and didn’t even think to look for their dumb carousel because I kind of hated it there, and I was too fixated on the coasters at Six Flags Great Adventure to bother with the carousel but I do have regrets because that one was so pretty! Maybe sometime this year we’ll get another chance?!

Busch Gardens actually has a very small carousel which was disappointing, to be honest. I expected more from them!

And the last two pictures are from Six Flags Over Georgia, which we visited over Thanksgiving Weekend. It was a great end to a year of getting our thrills on at as many amusement parks as possible! 2022 is looking pretty uncertain as of now, but hopefully, at some point, we can safely do our thang again.

Today we will be “chatting” about the first half of the books I read in December. We laughed, we cried, we wished some books weren’t owned by the library so we could burn them.

1. You Should Have Left – Daniel Kehlmann

Loved it! I think this is translated from…German? I could look but, eh. I have January apathy. This book is very short and is a great take on the haunted house trope, which is my fave fave fave horror theme but also the one that gets ruined the most, IMO. For every great haunted house book out there, there are sure to be 500 shitty ones waiting in line behind it.

I actually saw a preview for the adaptation for this not too long, with Kevin Bacon. I mean, Kevin Bacon is IN it, I didn’t watch the trailer with him on my couch.

One of the booktubers I hate-watch totally bashed this book and was all, “Wah, I didn’t get it, this was dumb” but I thought it was great. The main character is an author who moves his wife and young kid to some semi-secluded airBNB situation so he can work on his book, parts of which are interspersed throughout. There are also sentences that abruptly cut off, and the booktuber was all THAT WAS SO ANNOYING I DIDN’T GET IT but it was pretty clear that the pages were suddenly (kapchugi) ending because something was going on in the house and the book was meant to be the writer’s journal.

If you like horror, and books similar to House of Leaves (which I never finished when I tried to read it years and years ago but now I own my own copy and am determined to try again this year!), then I think this would be a home run for you.

2. The Push – Ashley Audrain

If you like multi-generational takes on motherhood (pretty specific) then read this book. I had no idea what it was about when I picked it up other than it was considered a thriller (a little, sure) but it was riveting. It also contains a child character that I fucking despised about as much as the little bitch from Baby Teeth, the only difference being that The Push was a phenomenal read and Baby Teeth was trash.

OK, I just checked Goodreads and this is being touted as more of a psychological drama, and that I can get behind.

I had so much empathy for Blythe, the mom in the present-day chapters, that it actually physically gave me a headache to read the bullshit she endured. There is some very uncomfortable honesty re: motherhood in these pages too and I am definitely looking forward to reading more from Ashley Audrain.

Also, I listened to the audio of this, which was narrated by Henry’s voice crush, Marin Ireland lol. But really, she is an awesome narrator and I wonder if I would have liked the book as much if I read it without the audio. I know a lot of people who say audiobooks don’t count as reading, and I think this is a huge slap to the face of the vision-impaired, and also sometimes, audio just makes a book pop.

It’s comforting to have with me on my daily walks and I will continue to read books both ways.

3. Comfort Me With Apples – Catherynne M. Valente

This was OK. Very short and Stepford Wives-ish. A little bit of horror, and also gave me slight Alice in Wonderland vibes, where everything looks so shiny and perfect at a glance but is actually terrifying and uncomfortable and get-me-the-eff-out-of-here-y. I definitely didn’t get the hype though and just rated it a very pleasant and mediocre three-stars. Middle of the road for me, fam.

4. Nothing But Blackened Teeth – Cassandra Khaw

This is very short and not terrible, but not great. I would suggest just watching a Japanese horror movie if you’re looking for legit scares or even thrills because this was mostly just about a group of frenemies arguing and being jealous of each other..

Can you tell that I am burnt out from writing “reviews”? Lol.

5. The Good Lie – A.R. Torre

Real talk: I thought I would hate this based on the cover, lol. It just looks like something a housewife would buy in airport before getting on a plane to Orlando, you know?

But this hooked me straight from the first chapter. A great psychological thriller that kept me guessing. Two main characters (a psychiatrist who specializes in violent tendencies, and a high-profile defense attorney who has lost a son to a serial killer) who felt real and flawed and kept me totally invested in this story to the very end. This was my kind of thriller.

6. Build Your House Around My Body – Violet Kupersmith

Well. I’m impressed. Where to even start with this. It’s Vietnamese folklore, fantasy, horror, mystery, with a revenge tale woven in through it all. Officially a new favorite author.

The writing was graceful, witty, atmospheric, lush, and vivid. It was nearly impossible to not visualize every scene happening, and um, sometimes that wasn’t for the best, ha! It has some seriously creepy and gross moments too that had me shuddering (if you have a fear of snakes, pass on this one maybe).

I read this book and listened to it on audio simultaneously because it is really beneficial for me to hear how names are meant to be pronounced, and the narrator really did this story justice.

Vietnamese is such a beautiful and intricate language and my eyes alone would never be able to replicate the full effect of actually hearing the words being said aloud. Yet another advantage of audiobooks!

It was such a great experience overall and I will be revisiting the characters in my mind for years to come. Every single character was fleshed out and popping with personality. I felt so immersed and couldn’t wait for the chance to keep reading.

Didn’t think I’d read another solid gem before the end of the year; love when a five-star read comes in at the buzzer! Highly recommend this!

7. Let It Snow – John Green / Maureen Johnson / Lauren Myracle

All I wanted was a Chrismas-y book to read in December and this one looked, dare I say, cute. I’ve read John Green before, and one Maureen Johnson book, and liked all so I thought this would be a good time. HA.

All three authors write their own story, and each are connected / have overlapping characters / same setting. The best story by far was Maureen Johnson’s. I’d give it a 3. John Green gets a 2. Whoever Lauren Myracle is gets a 1 because that last story was god awful, the characters were annoying AF and I have no idea what the actual point even was. Only the first story gave me even slight Christmas vibes and this story also had the most solid characters.

I heard that the book is way better than the Netflix movie adaptation, so we know what I will NOT be watching. Never ever ever. What a shitty time this was.

***

To summarize, I would recommend:

• The Good Lie
• You Should Have Left
• The Push
• Build Your House Around My Body

4 out of 7 ain’t bad! I’ll cover the remaining 6 sometime soon-ish. This weekend we are hopefully cleaning out the attic which is actually an entire third floor that could be used as an extra room which it was before HENRY MOVED IN and stored all his computer pieces and other assorted junk up there and then it just seamlessly turned into the room where things went to die. I just want to go up there with 89878678 garbage bags and throw everything out, to be honest. (Unless it’s something of mine, lol.)

Today’s post is brought to you by photos in my phone &, well, random stuff lately AS THE TITLE SUGGESTS.

Henry and I were both off the Monday after Christmas so we spent a good chunk of the morning at the mall exchanging and returning stuff because somehow I bought a hoodie for Chooch at Zumiez that was actually a girl’s hoodie which is fine because fuck gender rules, except that the hoodie was cut short and how I didn’t notice this when I bought it is beyond me but Chooch liked the hoodie so I just needed to exchange it for a bigger size; hilariously, Henry was also returning something – he tried to be all cool a few weeks ago by TREATING HIMSELF to a denim jacket at Vans and was so confident about it that he didn’t even try it on. As soon as we got home, I looked at the  tag and laughed, “You know this is a women’s jacket right?” and it did not fit him AT ALL. What a stoop. So he returned it and I got shoes, lol.

Wow, I wasn’t planning on regaling you with all that consumerism, yet here we are. Gotta get that word count in.

Then later we had to go to Target. I really wanted a smoothie bowl for lunch so that determined which Target we would be going to, which meant we would have to go through the Liberty Tunnel. And as luck would have it, an accident or something happened right as were about 3/4 of the way through the tunnel so traffic came to a standstill. At first, I didn’t even notice because we had started listening to Seth Rogen’s “Yearbook” memoir-ish thing and it was entertaining enough to distract me until eventually I noticed that we hadn’t moved in some time and that this wasn’t just the ordinary red light I figured it to be.

About 10 minutes into this traffic standstill, someone near the front of the tunnel unfailingly began honking their horn, creating a beeping chorus ripple effect among other frustrated drivers throughout the tunnel. Because beeping always works in these situations. The honking collective forms a giant crane which then lifts the obstacles blocking traffic into the air so that we can all freely pass. Everyone knows this. Crazy that no one has been able to make that actually happen yet.

“These are all the stupid unvaccinated fuckers,” Henry mumbled, and for once I heartily agreed with Henry’s hypothesis.

Another 10 minutes passed and Henry noted that several people farther back behind us had gotten out of their cars and were milling about. Henry went on a lengthy rant about carbon monoxide, etc and how stupid these people were, and it was around this point where I had become super slap-happy so maybe those fumes were seeping into our car, I dunno. I would have asked Henry but the only thing worse than being mansplained is actually asking to be mansplained. I made a mental note to google it later but then I forgot and now I just don’t care,

Two guys separately walked past our car toward the front of the tunnel. This was amusing to me because what were they going to do if traffic started moving while they were so far from their cars??

Meanwhile, round three of Project Honk was playing out.

Eventually, the Tunnel Investigators began their return trip, stopping at every car to announce their findings.

“Accident!” they were saying in tandem, like wow really no shit. I’m pretty sure we all figured that out in between pondering the meaning of life for the last 30 minutes.

Duh.

Just as they were about to get to our car, traffic at the front of the tunnel started moving, so the guys began hollering, “WE’RE MOVING!” Henry luckily had his window down a little from when we were originally trying to determine what the Tunnel Investigators were reporting, so I leaned across Henry’s gut and screamed, and I do mean KPOP-concert level screamed, “YEAH!” out the window. Henry shot me that stern WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF! scowl that he’s perfected over the last two decades of not only being a dad but also my BOYFRIEND lol.

This whole scene was cracking me up so bad that I spit all over myself from all the laughing I was doing. Henry meanwhile was harboring big regERTZ for choosing a Target that required us to traverse through the tunnel in the first place, but honestly – it’s not like we were late for a hot date. Although now I was hungrier for my smoothie bowl which ended up being not great. I paid extra to have it made with coconut milk instead of coconut water, and had selected turmeric and something else that I forget now as add-ons and THEY DID NOT ADD THEM nor was it made it with coconut* milk – I could tell. What a rip off.

*(LOL I originally typed cococunt – this is my new word.)

LOOK AT THESE THREE LITTLE BRATS! Actually, they’re not so little. They’re pretty fucking fat and I slip sometimes and call them Chubs. Then I feel bad. Also, ignore my crappy porch/yard. It’s winter and we don’t care about it right now.

Henry got a new Roku speaker for the TV and the first thing he did to test it was put on the video for NCT127’s “Kick It.” KPOP DAD IS ALWAYS ON DUTY.

Meanwhile, in Penelope and Drew’s world:

• it’s always Halloween.

• opening a book is an invitation to plop down across me.

• exceling at the worst hiding spots.

And now for some random photos from my camera roll:

I didn’t decorate that much this year for Christmas, but I will definitely miss how cute  the buffet looks! These glass Christmas trees could almost pass for year-round decor though, DON’T YOU AGREE.

I got this plastic hand from Castle Blood last October and it’s always in the pocket of my jean jacket, which I have been able to wear fairly regularly during this mild-ish winter. Anyway, I noticed recently that I subconsciously hold onto it when my hand is in my pocket, and it is actually very comforting to me. It’s like an emotional support hand and I highly recommend that everyone get one!

I went to Michaels and bought a bunch of their holiday LED strands after Christmas when everything was 70% off and a lot of them could easily be used all year, like these pretty stars!

I sent this to Chooch the other day lol. Leslie Sansone really said that in one of her videos!

Hey speaking of Leslie, I’m gonna peace out here because it’s almost time to exercise.

Korean YouTubers DKDK made this short-n-sweet doc on G-Dragon’s impact on not just the Korean music industry, but also international fashion. I watched it on my lunch break today and cried real tears because there is something magical and mystical about G-Dragon that just completely overwhelms me. I think a lot of have idols in our lives, be it an author, a film maker, one of the Beatles. I definitely have a handful of people who would render me absolutely star-struck and speechless if I ever had the good fortune to meet them, but there is something about G-Dragon that elevates him above even that for me. I promise you  that this isn’t just me being some basic fan-girl. I am genuinely fascinated of and inspired by him.

When I first got into Kpop, it became clear very quickly that the boy group BIGBANG was like, the kream of the krop, the k-top of the kpop. So naturally, the name that was the most prevalent in that scene was G-Dragon. And I remember thinking, “Who is this G-Dragon and why is he that great?” So I started watching BIGBANG music videos and of course I didn’t know who he was so now I’m googling “Who is G-Dragon” and “Why is G-Dragon so great” and now I’m watching guest appearances by G-Dragon on Korean variety shows and I’m watching an actual CNN interview with BIGBANG from like, 2012 or something, and oh, here are a bunch of solo G-Dragon performances and wow, people fucking love this guy and then bam – I got sucked in. I was under the Kwon Jiyong spell. I got it. It made sense. This man is the literal definition of charisma and swag.

And I don’t care how “worldwide famous” a certain other Kpop group is, because G-Dragon will always be the King and he single-handedly paved the way for the rest. And honestly, he is their idol, too.

There is one thing that this excellent video doesn’t mention and I think they were actually remiss to leave it out: G-Dragon’s utter respect for others, and his consistent 90 degree fold when bowing to others, regardless of their age or status in relation to his own. He just seems like he was really raised right. Good job, Umma & Appa Dragon.

But yeah, please watch this and maybe you can understand why I love him so much!

Hello Internet. It is 7:24am and Henry and I are departing our house for Cleveland. We both have the day off work but Chooch went back to school today so I thought, “What could we do that’s fun but doesn’t take us too far away” and then through the power of YouTube I accidentally stumbled across a vlog where some vegan went to a cafe and got pink vegan cinnamon rolls AND A PINK LATTE. Come on, we all know I’m not above novelties foods and bevs, so I was all over this like a Jersey Shore girl and a Plan B pill.

Unfortunately, upon more research I learned that this joint – the 27 Club – is owned by Machine Gun Kelly which is v. cringe but I want the latte so am choosing to ignore this gross fact. Shh.

Besides, we’re listening to Taemin in the car to ward off the sleazy MGK vibes.

Gee wiz guys it’s 11:05 and I forgot I started a LiveBlog lol. But we’re done with 27 Club and I am here to say it was…worth it ugh. Lol. I will post more about it on the way home because now we’re going to West Side Market, supposedly. Henry went rogue and made the unilateral decision.

12:16pm: We just left a pointless stop downtown CLE and are en route to Otani Sushi and Henry is stressing me out because he has to USE A BATHROOM like ASAP and I’m over here like plz stop talking about this.

Anyway, here are some pictures from the cafe, which was actually a pleasant experience as I said above.

Henry enters the building.

Little known fact about me: I never was a fan of Biggie. Tupac or GTFO.

Barely anyone reads this so I’m confident that it shall remain a little known fact!

I got my pink latte with almond milk and salted maple syrup and it was actually VERY nice. I know it’s all about the beans but also the type of syrups a cafe uses can make or break the place you know? This maple flavoring was very mellow and not cloying at all. So even apart from the fact that it’s adorably pink, this shit tasted great too.

I guess henry liked his cold brew. Who cares. (I just asked him and he said yeah and also it made him remember the LIQUIDITY of it which exacerbated his need for A BATHROOM lol).

I’m really glad that we went there before they took down their Christmas decor because yes.

All of the stools had various dead singers on them. Ours had Amy Winehouse on one side and whoever was on the other side looked like Jonny Craig at first and I could tell Henry was trying not to make any OFF COLOR jokes about how too bad Jonny made it past 27 wow did I really just do that for him? Oh well. I forgot to look at the picture more closely before we left so I never did actually see who it was.

Was Henry enjoying where he was right then, Y or N.

You guys – these vegan cinnamon rolls were made fresh upon ordering, came out piping hot, with this banging pitaya icing. I LOVED THEM. Of course I shared with Henry, who only expressed mediocre feelings toward them. I think he was in pink shock though.

Um I also bought a hoodie because my eyesight might be fledgling but it’s still 20/20 when it comes to design. This hoodie is THE LIMIT. I’m also obsessed with the 27 Club’s logo. Ugh.

12:30pm: NEWS ALERT – Henry just RELIEVED himself at a REBEL gas station. He is so happy now.

Also our Waze is still set to Korean so Henry nearly missed a hidden cop up ahead lol.

Overall, I am very satisfied with my experience at 27 Club even though it had the equivalent cringe factor of, say, visiting a vape shop owned by Jonny Craig.

Ugh I bought a bottle of Voss water earlier at Sheetz and I will never buy it again. It tastes awful and I think it’s the AQUAMIN that’s in it whatever that is?? It reminds me of, and this will mean nothing to you, the water fountain in the office of Dr. Lewis, the “fat doctor” my mom used to go to in the 80s to get probably unsafe “diet pills” and my brother Ryan and I would always have to sit in the waiting room with all the other “it’s this or Jazzercize” desperate broads. Ugh the water fountain there had the grossest vitamin infused flavor.

1:22pm: just had an underwhelming visit to my fave vintage joint, Flower Child. I mean it was still fun to walk around but there was nothing that really caught my eye and felt worth arguing with Henry over until he acquiesces and agrees that, yes Erin, we really do need yet another swag lamp in the house even though there is literally nowhere else to put one.

I cried IS THIS FOR COCAINE and Henry was like, “um I don’t see how, but ok.” Then he just strolled off into the sunset next room, leaving me to wonder.

There weren’t even really any JESUS pictures that I needed. Oh well. Next time maybe.

Here are pictures from when we went to the Arcade which was completely empty and the restrooms were locked, causing Henry to cry because this was at the height of his bathroom urgency and even Starbucks down the street was closed lol.

As of 1:31 I hate Henry because he SNEEZED with no warning and now he’s sniffling ughhhhhh.

Meanwhile we’ve been to Cleveland approx. 50x and I still never know where anything is.

2:09: Hi. We’re at Otani Japanese because they have veg/vegan sushi options and henry is being a big cry baby because he wanted WONTON SOUP and i allegedly shamed him somehow? But then he had a big RISE-UP moment and called the waiter over to add it to his order, like ok cool Henry, snap those big boy pants suspenders.

LOLOLOL it’s WONTON SOUP time:

Oh shit hello vegan sushi:

Hey wanna know something hilarious? After we devoured this, our waiter came over and asked, “are you guys vegan?”

“I’m vegetarian,” I said, scared that he was going to say, “ok because actually that one roll has actual tuna in it” but apparently they have an entirely separate vegan menu with EVEN MORE OPTIONS than what’s on the regular menu and it would have been nice if the host had given us that with the other menus. I just really thought the menu looked odd because I had sworn when I looked at the website a few weeks ago, I had seen a shit ton of vegan sushi rolls that had me gurgling my saliva but then I just assumed that maybe I had gotten restaurants mixed up in my head because that’s definitely an Erin Thing to do.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I’ll be coming back to Cleveland sooner rather than later, I guess.

4:16lm: at a rest stop outside of PA, henry decided to treat himself to a Blizzard. Of course I chose for him (snickerdoodle) and then spent a solid minute having an internal convo with my alter egos about how ridiculous of a word “snickerdoodle” is. Then I started imagining Chooch working at DQ and instead of just handing Blizzards upside down to customers, throwing it in the air and then drop-kicking it over the counter because that would be a very Chooch Thing to do.

Anyway, this Blizzard was not snickerdoodle? It had chocolate slivers in it? What the hell?

I mean it was still good because Blizzards gon’ Blizz (…what?) but that was no snickerdoodle I’ve ever tasted.

Ok well we should be home in about a half hour so goodbye.

2021 is donezo but I haven’t even sat down to figure out what my favorite reads of the damn year are. I will probably get to that later this week (I’m sure you are just FRAUGHT with anticipation). However! I can for sure tell you my favorite songs and if you know me even a little, you for sure won’t be surprised by any of these.

1. SHINee – Area

I love Onew’s parts in this song so much and it also reminds me of when we bought our new car, which I named Jinki after him IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW. I also you have to know that if SHINee has a new release, it’s guaranteed that at least one of the songs will be my favorite of the year come on now.

2. Taemin – Advice

I mean….Jesus. Also I love this because the piano reminds me of Chiodos so it’s like a collision of my old life and new life.

3. Taemin – Just Me & You

The choreo in this though, my lord. As of this posting, I believe there’s 332 days left before his military discharge.

4. NCT Dream – Life Is Still Going On

Sharing a live version because these boys are no joke. Haechan is my ult NCT bias but this is the song that solidified Renjun (blond hair/blue vest) as my NCT Dream bias. (And you’re reading this and saying HUH? Lol.)

5. WayV – Actuon Figure

I mean, it’s so drippy.

6. NCT 127 – Favorite

If you live in this house, you probably hear that opening whistle in your sleep, that’s how much I’ve listened to this song since IG came out last fall.

7. Sunmi – You Can’t Sit With Us

I literally have never not loved a Sunmi song. This was a high point of 2021 for me.

8. CL – Lover Like Me

THE QUEEN. I loved watching CL shine throughout 2021 and this song was definitely my favorite. She even performed it on the Kelly Clarkson show and looked SO AT PEACE with herself that it made me cry. She deserves all the recognition.

9. Kai – Mmmh

I remember watching this video the day it came out – a Monday morning – and being like WOW IS THIS TOO MUCH FOR A MONDAY MORNING? as I proceeded to watch it again lol.

10. Wonho – Ain’t About You

We are huge Wonho supporters in this house. He is so great and you should support him too by watching this video.

11. Youngjae – Vibin’

I’m still broken up over Got7 but this solo release from my bias Youngjae was like swishing a toothache with hot bourbon-spiked tea: it hurt but felt so good all the same. Sigh. His voice, his face, his smile. Gimme.

12. DPR Ian – Scaredy Cat

Ok I lied, one non-Kpop song for good measure because this video is amazing. (DPR is korean but not technically Kpop.)

Well, made it through another year. Funny how you look at it that way the older you get, lol. Like every year, 2021 had its ups and downs but hopefully everyone had some salvageable and memorable moments! For me, I still felt mostly isolated from “normalcy” since we still weren’t able to return to the office, but on the family front, things were pretty awesome! We didn’t do any BIG TRAVELS because it still didn’t feel safe or right and none of us wanted to deal with airports/planes, but we managed to get in quite a few road trips and we made a lot of fun and happy memories even with a surly teen!

I think I will always associate 2021 with amusement parks. We went to 19! Three of them we visited twice so it was really like 23 trips to amusement parks this year. And the haunted house season was a banger too. It really reignited that old flame in my heart and I felt like a teenager again.

Also, I moved to a new position in my department at work and have really been enjoying it; I feel like I made the choice and feel like I’m being utilized to my full potential now. Plus, I cultivated some meaningful relationships with the neighborhood squirrels, bought a new car, and paid off my other car for the first time ever (usually we just trade in) so I would say 2021 was a year of good personal growth for me.

Somehow I feel like I’m hungover right now but I literally only had two small glasses of Christmas spiced wine last year for our SUPER WILD NYE PARTY. lol jk out night was like this:

• Big car crash in front of my house around 1pm so presumably not DUI-related but also a big reminder of why it’s best to stay in on NYE, pandemic or not! Also, the strip of road right in front of my house is like a veritable vortex for wrecks. I dunno what’s up with that because it’s not treacherous – it’s a straight road. But alas, the amount of wreckage we’ve witnessed is bonkers. Sadly, Henry was at work when this one occurred so he was unable to play civilian hero. Our neighbor George the Hero Understudy finally got his time to shine.
• I logged off work at 5:30, ate a bowl of cereal for dinner because Henry was napping ugh
• Finished my 157th book of the year
• Lit a candle and then wondered what would happen if I touched the lighter to Henry’s bare calf – branding happens, evidently lol. He was like I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT like real bitch you’ve known me intimately since the year 2001, 2000 of we’re getting technical, and this is something that shocks you?
• Chooch came home from work, also eats cereal for dinner. We know how to nutrition.
• Forced Henry to take a walk around the neighborhood while loudly talking about how I don’t like talking about my sex life, while passing people on the sidewalk; feels like I’m on drugs but am not. This is natural.
• Came home and forced Henry to do a NYE photoshoot of which Chooch wanted no parts.
• Henry made ube brownies; were delectable.
• Drank two glasses of wine then made Henry do 5 Kpop dance cardio routines and a 25 minute Paul Eugene walking workout.
• Chooch came back in the house from an evening of Pokemon Go’ing and screamed IS THAT WHERE SHE BRANDED U when he saw Henry’s leg. Then I pressed on it real hard and asked Henry if it hurt and he cried YES IT HURTS YOU FUCKING BURNED MY SKIN.
• Watched an SMTOWN live video streaming event on YouTube that started at 11pm.
• Made it until 12:15am before desperately crawling up to bed.

And yeah, that was NYE 2021 and frankly I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. Team Stay At Home ftw!

Well, here are some pictures.

Hair change.

Wardrobe change!

And here’s a deluge of ME&HENRY pics because that’s just what you need lol.

I look like a maniac in every shot but THAT IS WHO I AM AND I AM TOO OLD TO CHANGE NOW.

Well, I have a headache and am about to slurp down a smoothie bowl and prepare to restart my Jillian Michaels Body Revolution which I am slightly addicted to and like to do about twice a year (it’s a 12-week program) and I’m going to try to get Henry on board with it this time around. NEW YEAR NEW YOU, HENRY.

Since we did the whole “Zenith pre-made vegan meal” thingie for Thanksgiving this year, I wanted Henry to actually do some cooking for Christmas and of course nothing NORMAL because why would we. So I did that fun game that I do where I think of a random vegetable and then a random country, and google them together to find fun international cuisine. You can imagine how much Henry loves this. But it was also a reason to have my beloved fufu and peanut soup again, which I became obsessed with early in 2020 when I read a book that mentioned it and I fell down a Ghana food rabbit hole.

Henry was fine with this, having made this pairing twice now and coming out the other side with a memorable, edible meal both times.

I also wanted mashed ube in lieu of your standard Pilgrim fare of mashed potatoes.

Of course, Henry had a hell of a time finding the two main ingredients he needed for the fufu and the ube: cassava, and well, ube. On Christmas Eve, he ended up snatching up some Japanese purple yams and was going to just use those for the mash instead which was NOT IN THE AGREEMENT, but you do you, Chef BoyRDick.

Also, I had recently watched season 2 of Emily in Paris and one of the episodes featured a storyline where Emily had to work on a marketing campaign for leeks and I was like, “Ooh I could go for some leeks” which is how “Sri Lankan leek stir fry with faux lamb” inserted itself onto the menu.

Those Portuguese sweet potato rolls from Thanksgiving 2020 were bangers so that was added to fill the obligatory “Christmas dinner roll”, er, role. We ordered some boxes of Trinidadian sweets from local vegan pop-up ShadoBeni. Korean street food tteokbokki and a Field Roast vegan ham were necessities. And a Russian apple cake called Sharlotka was the featured dessert.

As a last minute buffet-padder, we bought some lotus mooncakes, red bean mooncakes, and mochi cakes from Pink Box on Christmas. Seriously Diane, don’t knock the Chinese desserts. They are GOOD.

Also as a last minute thing, we decided to expand this from a 3-person dinner to a 6-person dinner, feeling that this was a safe number, and invited my brothers Ryan and Corey, and my mom. I was actually surprised that my mom and Ryan accepted the invitation! We have never had a “family” dinner at my house before, so I was feeling kind of nervous about it!

Anyway, I’ll spare you the gory details but at one point that afternoon, I smelled that sickening stench of hot rubber and ran into the kitchen to find Henry having an absolute war with the fufu mixture. Apparently, he followed a different recipe this time which led him astray. Basically, fufu is a dough made of cassava and plantain, or one or the other. Fufu has different versions based on various African regions (I think Puerto Rico also has their own fufu style) but Henry likes to use both cassava and plantain. Anyway, whatever this recipe had him doing resulted in him straight up burning out the blender and then trying to use a SIEVE to separate the non-ground chunks from what he was able to salvage from the fufu mixture. This set him back a good hour and resulted in him not having enough to use anyway, and then it got all clogged up in the sink and he was FUMING. Like, Henry doesn’t often get mad-mad, but he was MAD on this afternoon, lol. He ended up making rice to go with the peanut soup instead.

Then, the sweet potato rolls gave him hell and ended up not baking thoroughly but we still ate them and they tasted good; however, he only made enough for everyone to have ONE like we’re fucking peasants.

THEN!! Everyone arrived and we were eating when I realized that HENRY DIDN’T MAKE THE FUCKING PURPLE MASHED POTATOES after all that searching for ube and then triumphantly returning with a comparable substitute, only to make them at all! And also, I had asked him to make SPAETZLE even though he’s not my PAPPAP and no one could ever make spaetzle as good as John W. Stonick, but I at least would have liked for Henry to try!

“After the fufu incident,  the last thing I wanted to do was fuck with more dough,” he said to me and everyone at the table gave me a “Yeah, Erin” smirk.

Also, I was so stressed that I barely took any pictures of the food, so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

I love decorating the buffet for holiday meals! This was prior to setting all of the food. “All” of the food, like we had “so much.” LOL.

This was when we were still waiting for Ryan to arrive. It occurred to me then that he had never been to my house before, and I have lived here since 1999! It’s not that Ryan and I don’t like each other. My family in general is just not very “OMG FAMILY HANGOUT TIME!” with the exception of Corey and me – we have always gotten along like BFFs who enjoy touring seriously stupid places and acting like world class assholes. And then not only has Ryan never been here, but he also thought I lived on a completely different street, so that was fun, lol.

Also, being his inaugural visit was somewhat of a shock to the senses for Ryan, who just kept laughing and saying, “There’s just so much to take in.”

Everyone seemed to like the peanut soup the best which made me doubly sad that the fufu didn’t turn out because you have not known the true extent of peanut soup’s deliciousness until you scoop it into your gaping maw on an edible airplane of FUFU.

I wonder how hard I will have to beg Henry to do a fufu redo on New Year’s Day….

I realized after the fact that I had barely any pictures and had to resort to photographing half-scavenged plates and platters, lol.  Anyway, this apple cake was really light and delectable. Big fan.

My favorite part of dinner wasn’t the tteokbokki or the sweet potato rolls, but the part where Ryan regaled us about the time he and several friends were nearly murdered by the cartel in Mexico and you might think I’m exaggerating but this is a true story and is actually hilarious since they made it out alive but to hear him tell the story sounds like he’s giving a synopsis for a new movie in the Hangover franchise. And you know it’s a funny story when my surly fifteen-year-old who thinks all adults are the worst and totally stupid actually laughs out loud numerous times without even bothering to play it off.

Aside from the food follies, if there is one thing I wish I could go back and time and do over, it would be the moment my mom asked to take a picture of us siblings because in hindsight, I would have said, “ACTUALLY! Here, use my phone.” Or better yet! “Here, let Chooch take the picture with my phone.” Or the best option even: “Here, let’s go stand somewhere nicer and have Chooch take multiple pictures with my phone.”

But, it is what it is and this picture, blurry as it may be, is still better than no picture!

Corey stuck around for booze & game hour.

Penelope waiting for everyone to leave. The cats HATE COMPANY. Lockdown was some of the best months of their lives, really.

Yeah, the official verdict is that this was a nice ass Christmas. Lowkey but still semi-social, and just tiring and fulfilling enough to have us ready for bed by 10:30pm that night!

I never knew who Rae Dunn was until several years ago when a then-friend (now MAGA-person, incidentally) started posting incessantly on Facebook about various coffee cups and other bland ceramic pieces that she wanted – nay, needed. She was constantly asking her friends to “be on the lookout” for shit with cringe-y seasonal slogans on them, sending her “hubs” out to homeware stores to scour the shelves, and getting into ACTUAL fights with soccer moms in places like Marshall’s over the last BUT FIRST COFFEE cup. (This last one is exaggerated only in that I can’t remember what the exact piece was she literally got injured over so I made that part up, but the fact that some lady slammed her shopping cart into her is ALLEGEDLY true.

)

What am I missing? The style isn’t that cool? I literally use that same font on some of my serial killer greeting cards, for god’s sake lol.

Suffice to say, we have been a very anti-Dunn household through all of this mania. So when Chooch texted me from the work the other night,  telling me that some McDonald’s regular came through the drive-thru and gifted him with a Rae Dunn Christmas tumbler/mocha set, I was howling.

I mean, first of all, what a nice gesture. Not gonna lie. Apparently, this guy is a teacher and was going to give it to one of his students, but gave it to Chooch instead. Because clearly Welcome To McDonald’s Chooch is nicer than At Home Chooch.

I’m sure he has a cult following at his McD’s already. Ugh.

Second of all, it’s hilarious to me that Chooch of all people now owns a Rae Dunn piece. Because, well, Chooch.

Of course, he has taken this and run with it. The next morning, he came downstairs and in a very smarmy and instigating tone, declared, “I’m going to have some HOT CHOCOLATE in my Rae Dunn cup now.”

Little jerk, lol. (Also, that’s water from the sink on his pants, but I should have let you think it was piss because that’s what he deserves.

)

“This is actually a really nice tumbler,” Henry murmured, turning it around in his gloved hands.

One innocent hot chocolate set today, sending Henry out to various homeware stores in search of rare seasonal collections tomorrow. This is the gateway to the Basic Broad Club. He’ll be joining a Rae Dunn discord group any day now.

I’m not trying to drag out the Xmas content I swear. I’m just really feeling shorter blog posts these days.

Or, my mental capacity is feeling it, should I say? Lol. The winter depression is knocking on my door and I am running out of energy using my mind power as a barricade.

First of all, I want to talk about how difficult Chooch is to shop for now. All he wanted was a bike, so Henry took him to get one after Christmas (last night actually; I opted to stay home and do Kpop cardio because I knew it was going to be a stressful shopping trip and judging by Henry’s harried state upon return, I was correct). But I was like, “WE HAVE TO HAVE PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE!!” So we just bought him an array of hoodies from various stores including one from Zumiez that I honestly have no idea how I couldn’t tell straight away was a girls hoodie because when he pulled it out of the box and held it up, it was pretty obviously cut much shorter than any regular hoodie, lol. It must have been a theme on that year’s shopping excursion though because Henry was all “IMMA TREAT MYSELF” and bought himself a denim jacket that was on sale at the Vans store, only to find out that it’s a woman’s jacket and doesn’t fit him. (I told him to try it on when we were there but he was adamant that he could “tell” that it was going to fit, oh ok.)

Hilarious how it felt like we had nothing under the tree but my credit card statement and checking account tell a very different story. Fucking Christmas. I swear to god if the world is safe (relatively speaking) next year, we are going away for Christmas and not buying any gifts. Just souvenirs and amusement park admissions.

I still had fun making up stupid gift tags for all of the presents (one gift was from Heavy Metal Geocacher, lol) but it just didn’t feel as Christmas-y as usual. I guess that’s what happens when the kids get older, le sigh.

Chooch actually was in a fine mood though and didn’t get all pouty like I would have when I was his age because leave it to me to always find some kind of a flaw in every gift (lol I am DEFINITELY not like that anymore, though, right Henry?).

Meanwhile, Henry paid attention and got me some really great things this year, including this necklace personalized with my favorite Korean word that you may already know if you read this thing regularly because I love to word-drop it whenever possible!

But I will explain it anyway because I’m nice, ugh. It’s pronounced “kapchugi” and it means “suddenly, out of the blue.” We watch a lot of Kdramas and it’s a word that is said a lot and I just love the sound of it, and the fact that it means “Suddenly,” which is such a great, dramatic word in English too.

I had to put my own chain on this though because Henry went for the shortest option available which was “newborn baby choker” length. I don’t have a fat neck at all but that chain was not it, bro.

Henry also got me the new Jennifer Aniston-backed hair product line, Lolavie. Jennifer Aniston is my ULT BIAS. I know it’s super basic, but I have been utterly smitten with her since the debut of Friends in the 90s. I know, me and a million other basic broads, right? But she is just the epitome of a beauty to me, because she genuinely appears to be the sweetest, kindest, most un-celebrity-est person in America. She just seems so down to earth and to this day, I fucking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. And I also harbor a huge grudge against this couple I used to be friends with waaaay back in the day who belittled me for liking her and said she has a, and this is so hard for me to even type because it’s NOT TRUE and they can both get fucked, “horse face.” Honestly, fuck those people. They had a baby and named her after one of the lamest characters on Days of Our Lives – Chloe Brady!

ANYWAY. When Jennifer Aniston started posting about this new hair stuff several months ago, I wanted it ASAP. It’s vegan and cruelty-free, because of course Jennifer Aniston, aka The Best Jen (Jennifer Lawrence is my #2 Jen) would do the right thing.

This is how my hair looked after letting it air-dry!!!

It’s amazing and sorry Henry, but I will now be using this $$$ brand $$$ exclusively, no more drug store hair prods for this bitch’s head. (Actually, it’s not really as exorbitantly priced as you would expect from a product shilled by an internationally beloved actress.)

Lastly, Henry also got me something that I really NEED: an NCT light stick! There have been murmurings around the K-nets that NCT127 might be doing a North American tour in 2022 and if this is true, I want to be prepared!

And then we went to Pink Box for Asian sweet buns and family fun time at the Homewood Cemetery, which I already posted pictures from here.

This was probably one of the least argumentative Christmases we’ve had so I am very happy about that. But I will note however that SON OF THE YEAR has a job and did not get Henry and me anything! What a jerk.

At some point I will also recap Christmas dinner, which consisted of numerous international fare and my immediate family being at my house altogether for the first time in the history of me living here (which is a long time, since I have lived here since 1999 lol ugh).

(Oh yeah, and I got Henry the Stheart beanie that he’s wearing in the pictures featured in the link above!

He is so hard to buy anything for so my main gift was trying to be nice to him all weekend. I semi-succeeded. He didn’t ask for a gift receipt at least.)

Henry and I both miraculously had Christmas Eve off…but then Chooch had to work. Because of course he did. We mostly just ran around picking up last minute things and then relaxed the rest of the evening. I love Christmas Eve because the house is usually pumping out cozy vibes.

Not a last minute Xmas thing, but earlier that morning I started screaming about wanting a new toilet seat which is such an adult “want.” This in addition to receiving my first ever car title in the mail a few weeks ago has me feeling like I’ve matriculated into legit adulthood with no fan fare or at the very least A CAKE, and I feel GYPPED.

I also bought plants while there so yeah, lots of grown up things happening around here. I feel like a stranger in my skin these days.

Of course, Henry guessed at what kind of toilet seat to get and it was wrong so he had to go out again to get the right one but I had enough of boring home stores for one day so I stayed home and did Kpop cardio, thanks.

Later that night, I started “primping” the house for Christmas evening because my mom and brothers would be coming over for dinner and I wanted to look at least relatively Christmasey, not like you can really tell the Christmas lights apart from  the “year-round” lights in my house, lol.

I love decorating the buffet!

Chooch was wrapping some stuffed animal he won at an amusement park for one of Those Kids next door but Henry was like, “I am not giving one of my grandchildren a reused gift” like suddenly Henry is the author of etiquette handbooks.

“Did Santa come yet?” Except that the cats call Santa “Him Ho” in our house.

Holidays make Penelope tired.

It didn’t really feel like a legit Christmas Eve because the weather was in the 50s and Chooch was so tired from working that he didn’t even feel like playing any games NOR did he even beg to open just one present like he normally does. I guess he is also becoming an adult, just like me. Sigh.

Henry and I unwound that night with an episode of Hometown Cha Cha Cha (no, we still haven’t finished this series! We’re not good binge-watchers!) and then crashed around midnight. It was a long day but we were so happy to not have to work!

Anyway, I will leave you with this brief walk-thru of the living room and dining room as seen on Xmas Eve.

My brothers and I don’t get together very often as a trio (which is something I think we’d all like to change going forward) so when they both accepted my invitation to have Xmas dinner here, Corey saw this as a great opportunity to recreate one of our old childhood photos.

Actually what really happened was that he texted me: OMG ERIN

Which automatically put me on High Alert, like omg who died. But then it was just about doing a picture, so—whew.

This is the one he inexplicably chose:

So first of all, I could have argued that we use another picture because of how unflattering this is for me but the REALITY is that I look like this in basically every photo back then because ages 9-13 (ok I’m being kind to myself here, but the honest truth would be more like 7-16) we’re not a good look on me as a whole. So, whatever. Let’s do this lol.

Unfortunately, Corey couldn’t find a red hat but Henry casually said, “We have that Ernie Ball one from Warped Tour,” while continuing to eat his well-earned Christmas dinner.

“Where is it?” I asked, and when he said it was in the attic, I demanded, “Well?

Go get it!” And he did too. God love him. (Seriously though that man knows where every single thing is the attic and the basement and I don’t fuck with either of those rooms, so)

Hilariously, Corey (in the middle) has surpassed both Ryan and me in height over the years. I am by far the shortest now.

Corey and Ryan really killed this recreation, and Chooch was an excellent photographer and artistic director. I could have done better for my part but refused to cut bangs with my eyes closed (seriously wtf is going on with my hair; also it was never that dark but either was Ryan’s so we determined it must be a combination of bad lighting and film from the 90s). But it was still fun and cracked us up because it was really so stupid!

Chooch, who is usually incredibly rude and brutally honest to me, looked at the first picture the other day and said, “That looks NOTHING like you.” OMG thank you, son!

The one I’m really pushing to recreate is this one which requires us to go to Cedar Point which is selfishly why I want to do it:

Hello! Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and happy Saturday to everyone else! Henry is currently in the kitchen whipping up a holiday dinner so I thought I’d pop in and say hello and post some pictures of us doing the traditional cemetery thang. We actually…didn’t fight??!! Even though Chooch hated his flannel??? And it was raining??? And I only hated every other photo of me??? Tis the season, truly.

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

Anyway, here we are. I love my little family. We get along mostly.

Eating our sweet buns from Pink Box! It’s an Asian bakery right down the street from the cemetery and blessedly open on Christmas. They have really delightful treats there. I had an almond taro bun, Henry had red bean (always) and Chooch’s was pineapple cream. We also got some extra delights for after dinner!

We had to retake one of these because even after FIFTEEN YEARS chooch still managed to have crumbs on his face.

Making Chooch uncomfortable from both sides

Henry was like “why do I have to do the jumping ones with you.” BECAUSE I SAID.

On the way home I randomly mused that the Pittsburgh skyline looked different to me.

“Maybe it’s because of the strange music playing,” Chooch piped up from the backseat.

It was Pink Floyd on the radio lol.