Etsy Promo – Page 4 – Oh Honestly, Erin

Stroll Thru the Somnambulant Studio

Sep 292014

Cyber friends, let’s take a break from the Riot Fest posts and look at the recent art I made. (Just pretend like I’m your favorite preschooler for a minute.)

(Also, it’s Monday and my week has gotten off to a difficult, albeit comical.)

My pal Lisa needed a wedding gift for her friends so she asked me to make a Cupcake Couple painting for them. I haven’t made one of these in a really long time, so that was fun!

I painted a portrait of my friend Angie and her cat, Bandit, a few weeks ago. <3

Lizzie Borden! This is a terrible picture, I just realized. I clearly need to change this photo on Etsy. And get my eyes examined ASAP.

When I was home sick last week, I was really restless so I started this serial killer parade, half-slumped over on the couch. I finished it yesterday. (l-r: Dahmer, Fish, Ramirez, BTK, Gacy.)

There’s also a new addition to the non compos cards catalog:

I have a bunch of customs lined up, including a portrait of Phish and one like the serial killer parade, but with wrestlers. I’m totally grateful that you guys have been keeping me busy. Thank you! And Henry thanks you too, because the only time I’m quiet is while I’m painting. If you want anything (CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!), let me know!

Also? I jokingly suggested that someone should request a nude portrait of Steve Buscemi, with a cactus-penis that has eyeball impaled on the thorns. And the more I pictured that, the more I wanted to paint it for real. So…I’ll be working on that too, in between the custom orders!

Art Interlude (Arterlude?)

art promo, Etsy Promo, my fake art

Sep 092014

Dear Blog,

Today I did some volunteer work with some other co-workers and while I would love to write about that right now, I’m laying on the couch instead, half-dead, because manual labor does not agree with me.

So instead, I will share some of my latest paintings with you.
My friend Elizabeth asked me to paint her something for her bathroom. At first, I was going to do some pink flamingos because she said she was going to hang a Polyester poster signed by John Waters in the bathroom, but then at the last minute I got a different idea and went with that, hoping she wouldn’t hate it.

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She said it was terrifying and still wanted to! Thank god! And then Kara wanted one for her friend, so I got to paint John Waters’s mug all over again and it made me laugh evilly because I used to be “friends” with this super annoying boy who worshipped John Waters and man, do I hate that boy now but I bet he would LOVE this painting, hahahaha.

And then last week Katrina suggested that I paint the Golden Girls and I jumped on that one because I adore the G.Girls so much and staring at their faces all last weekend brought back fond memories of sleeping over my grandparents’ house on Saturday nights and watching the Golden Girls, Empty Nest, and Hunter.

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I literally cry for the 80s sometimes, you guys. It was so much better then.

I also did a portrait of my friend Angie, but she wants to be surprised, so I won’t post that one yet!

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Don’t forget to check out my Somnambulant Art shop for other weird crap!

Twin Peaks: A Somnambulant Series

art promo, Etsy Promo, my fake art, Obsessions

Sep 042014

Over the weekend, I decided that I wanted to do a Twin Peaks-inspired series of portraits because I love that damn show so much. So I put Season 1 on Netflix and started with the Log Lady, because why not.

By Tuesday night, Agent Dale Cooper, Dead Laura Palmer and Dr. Jacoby had joined her…and then quickly left her. They were all sold yesterday!

(The Log Lady is still available, if anyone is interested!)

Last night, while Henry yelled at Pretty Little Liars (that show gets him so riled up!), I started on The Man From Another Place. It still needs a lot of touching up, which I’ll get to tonight, but here he is anyway:

There’s several more I want to add, but what kind of series would you want to see next? TELL ME. I’ve been thinking about vending at a local horror convention next winter and I need to build up my inventory, and quick! I’ll be selling my serial killer cards there, but I’d like to have some of my art on hand, as well.

(Hopefully I can also build up my social skills.)

Norm, a painting

art promo, Etsy Promo, super dumb stories

Jul 292014

It was another shit-storm of a day at work, goddammit. Norm had so many useless meetings and sales pitches to lay on deaf ears, not to mention the habitual hour he spent watching Benny Hill on his phone in the Mothers’ Nursing Room, that he completely missed lunch.

Waiting for the bus, he dreamt lustily of all the foodstuffs he was going to masticate as soon as he got home: fistfuls of Fritos and Spaghetti-Os slurped right out of the can.

His mouth was going to get into a melee with maple syrup and meatballs; his fangs into fisticuffs with footlong franks and french fried frogs; his tongue would tryst with tubes of tooth paste and teriyaki taffy.

He sat, waiting for that bus, feeling the hunger roll through his insides like a Sumo wrestler in a hamster wheel, sublingual glands flooding his mouth with warm saliva.

“Come on, you motherpricking bus! I want to get home and—–”

Norm never got to finish his threat on public transportation and he never got to pillage his mother’s kitchen after work (in all honestly, Norm only had a can of Old Milwaukee and a fruitcake from 1987 in his own kitchen). Because just like that, with one quick snatch and snark, Norm had become the meal of someone hungrier than he, and all that remains of him is a few green feathers littering the ground like crumbs.

Norm is a 5×7 painting on canvas and he would like to hang on your wall in loving memory.

Music Heals: Somnambulant Mixtape Painting

art promo, Etsy Promo, music, Obsessions

Jul 272014

For your consideration: a 5×7 acrylic homage to the therapeutic role music plays in our lives. (If you don’t relate to this, then I’m sorry.)

This series of mixtape paintings has been really fun. Get one before my attention drifts and I go back to painting ugly things.

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“Music Heals” listing on Etsy. I can also make you a custom one if you hate the colors.

Now go! Enjoy your Sunday!

New Serial Killer Cards Inventory!

Etsy Promo

Jul 212014

I’ve had a list of new designs that I wanted to make for non compos cards, but it just sat in my head, collecting dust. I have to be in the MOOD, you know? Well, apparently waking up sick on Saturday was just the creative ass-kicking I needed…who knew nausea could be so inspirational. Some of you have been asking for anniversary cards: YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED.

1. Amy Archer-Gilligan

Amy Archer-Gilligan was a caretaker and murderer of the elderly, but she also bestowed her services on her first two husbands. Let your babe know that you made it another year of marriage without spiking the supper. Nothing like keeping them on their toes, and possibly getting to eat out more often.

This card is beautifully printed on high-quality card stock and not the back of a sewage bill. It comes with an envelope. To put the CARD in. Anything else is on you. I DON’T NEED TO KNOW YOUR AGENDA.

2. Aileen Wuornos

Sometimes you know on the very first day that they’re the one. Or you have every intention of it being a one-night stand but they JUST WON’T GO AWAY and the next thing you know it’s 13 years later and you have an 8-year-old son.

But if you wanted to know secrets about me, you’d just read my blog.

Anyway. The card! What a romantic “glad we’re still married” paper gift! And it comes with a really special envelope that’s actually just a regular envelope but come on, envelopes need some love too.

And you know, if you and your spouse have that delightful love/hate rapport going on, I can always change this to “I wish I had pulled the trigger on our first date.”

3. John Wayne Gacy

And then you can be all, “Haha, Just kidding!” OR ARE YOU. Nothing like using scare tactics to keep the passion alive, so what are you waiting for? Give this card to your partner-in-wedded-bliss on your next anniversary.

This card is majestically printed on high quality cardstock. It comes with an envelope. Maybe you could rub some dirt on it, you know, like “Oops, sorry honey. I didn’t have a chance to wash my hands after digging…..in the garden.” I don’t know. Just trying to give you some suggestions. God.

4. Jeffrey Dahmer

It’s too bad Dahmer never had time to write a cookbook.

I mean…hey, here’s a great way to tell your spouse they’re still tasty after all these years! And that the thought of digging into their brain with a grapefruit spoon may have crossed your mind once or twice.

This card is printed on NASA-quality card stock, if that’s such a thing. And because I’m a sweetheart, you get an envelope for FREE. They charge extra for that shit in Romania, you know.

5. Dennis Rader/BTK

Let your partner know that even though marriage might be torture at times, you sure are stoked to have made it through another year.

This card is printed on high quality paper and comes with an envelope. Don’t worry, it won’t be too thick to slide under the basement door.

6. Assorted Serial Killer Note Cards

I was getting frustrated because I kept promising my friends* snail mail, but then I never had note cards on hand and who wants to get a letter written on crappy notebook paper? So I designed this set of blank notecards for my own personal use, and now I’m making them available to my fellow true crime aficionados! This is a set of eight (8) note cards. They’re blank inside so you can write anything you want, with whatever you want (pigs blood, crayons, mustard—go wild!). Look at those colors! These are practically the Laugh In of note cards.

Included, one of each: Albert Fish, Ted Bundy, Carl Panzram, Dennis Rader/BTK, Jeffrey Dahmer, Son of Sam/David Berkowitz, Ed Gein, Lizzie Borden.

These cards are your standard A-something. Whatever 4×6 is considered. A4? I should probably google that, or research more knowledgeable card shops on Etsy; one day I’ll get my shit together. These come with envelopes too. 8 (eight) of them. I was originally going to only include 7 to be a dick, but then something on my shoulder told me that wouldn’t be good for business.

PLEASE NOTE: These are eight individual cards, not one sheet. I only combined them onto one sheet for purposes of showing each design on Etsy.

*Who am I kidding. I don’t have any friends. Just death row pen pals. :(

———

So that’s it! I’m hoping to make a few more this week, but you know how real jobs get in the way. SIGH.

If you order anything this week, please use coupoRn code “marilynchambers” to get 20% off, just for reading this damn blog!

DISCLAIMER: As always, I’m here to remind you that I do not endorse serial killers, murder, etc. I don’t think they’re “cool” and I don’t “worship” them. I’m just extremely interested in true crime, pop culture and designing tongue-in-cheek greeting cards.

Art Stuffs

art promo, Etsy Promo, my fake art, Uncategorized

Mar 112014

It’s been awhile since I barked DIY orders at Henry. In fact, I think the Beverage Buffet is the last thing he made (the half-finished jewelry armoire in the basement doesn’t count, sorry dear). So over the weekend, I decided that it was time to move the marquee sign from a dream to a reality. I saw it on some broad’s blog a few months ago, some marquee sign she made for Christmas, but it was all Pinterest-y and cute, and you know, Christmas-y. All of the things I dislike. But I liked the notion of having an obnoxious marquee sign in my house.

The steps looked easy (for Henry) and it seemed inexpensive. But I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I don’t fully understand the value of a dollar sometimes, all of the time.

Like, maybe if I had chosen the phrase “Hi” or stuck with initials it would have been an inexpensive project. But instead, I chose my catchphrase “Get stoked” and when you consider that the letters cost $3 a piece and then the bulb-lights I wanted to use from Target are like $12 for a string and we’re probably going to need like 4 or 5 boxes, you have one clenched-up Henry.

We actually fought each other silently with just our eyes in the middle of the craft store on Saturday, which resulted in me breaking down first and hissing, “JUST FORGET IT!” and storming out. I could hear the pitter-patter of Chooch’s feet on the tile floor as he chased after me, god bless him; soon he will be immune to my tantrums and will refuse to give me attention, JUST LIKE HIS FATHER.

I sat in the car with my arms crossed, sighing heavily and dramatically, accusing Henry of ruining my life.

“I didn’t say we couldn’t buy the letters,” he calmly explained as he navigated the car through the parking lot. “You’re the one that ran out like a baby.”

“FINE THEN JUST GO BACK AND GET THEM!” I yelled.

“No,” he said defiantly. Oh, this is rich, I thought, and then started screaming some more until he yanked the steering wheel to the right and screeched back into the parking lot. He slammed the car door, stalked into Pat Catan’s, and returned in five minutes with a giant bag full of large letters. ERIN WINS AGAIN.

(No, those weren’t the letters. BUT MAYBE FOR THE NEXT SIGN…..)

I actually helped out a little and primed the letters! Now we just need to spraypaint them with my color of choice (and glitter, obviously; my Liberace gene always has to weigh in), find a piece of plywood large enough to hold the letters, and then take out a small home loan to buy the rest of the lights, haha, right Henry?

And then watch somberly as our house goes down in flames.

I will keep the Internet posted as Henry progresses. Marquee sign or GTFO, right Henry? (I’m sure we know which he would choose.)

———————-

And now I will act like a kindergartner and show you my latest art-things!

First, we have Tentacular:

These colors are therapeutic. So is striping tentacles with “The Following” on in the background.

This painting measures 12″x5.5″ and is perfect for people who love oceanic things, stripes, or are perhaps looking for immersion therapy to help cure a tentacle phobia. And it can be all yours for a one-time fee!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

Sorry. Wrong commercial.

****

Snacks Part 2!

Remember that terrible Korn song from the 90s that taught us about how wearing ADIDAS
-brand attire meant that we were dreaming all day about sex?

Well, I think they misheard because it’s actually All Day I Dream About Snacks. I mean, who doesn’t? Like right now I might be eating an apple at work but I’m thinking about how I’m going to stick my face in a bag of freshly popped popcorn as soon as I get home tonight. And while I’m eating that, I’ll probably be thinking about PIE.

Because SNACKS.

Anyway. This painting is the second in the SNACKS series; it measures 5×7″ and it’s on canvas, not stretched skin. I will probably wrap it with a bow before mailing it to you. I mean, assuming you are buying it. You ARE buying it, aren’t you??

***

Fudge Nipple Sundae!

The obvious dessert after a long, hot summer’s day of stalking victims. Hang this boob-capped sundae painting on your wall & channel the spirit of Jeffrey Dahmer.

#2 in the “From the Cannibal Kitchen” series.

(Clearly, I’m off my description-writing game.)

***

Somnambulant Birds <---SOLD! Woo!

Because I just really love to paint odd birds.

This pastel piece of paint-thing is varnished and shipped by carrier pigeon. J/K. I use USPS, but sometimes I wonder if avian delivery would be more efficient.

Ant-Covered Donuts, Dinosaurs and Other Stuff

art promo, Etsy Promo, my fake art

Feb 262014

Oh hey guys! I’m so excited because I got Etsy to reactivate my original Somnambulant shop and I didn’t even have to get on my knees. It’s funny how two years ago I was like, “I DON’T EVEN CARE, SHUT DOWN MY STUPID SHOP!” because I was just so over it. But having it back again and seeing all the old stuff that I sold and my Somnambulant banner and all the typos in my shop info…well, it was like being home again. Seriously, it was like being back at my mom’s house. The only thing missing was the audio of her screaming at the dogs.

I have most of my current inventory listed already and I’m working on adding more real soon because I’m really in the zone, you know? All of the Twin Peaks-binging has definitely helped and I can already sense a new collection being born from that since pretty much all I listen to in the morning is its soundtrack.

If you’re interested in a custom painting of monsters spelling out names of loved ones, pets, celebrities, political candidates from the 1800s, Ross & Rachel, what have you, then by all means, hit me the eff up. These are $40 for an 8″x8″, but Oh Honestly Erin readers can use Etsy coupon code BLOODCAKES for 20% off, whaddup.

Your basic parade of prehistoric jubilation.

These photos aren’t the best. I took them with my iPhone just to have something to show, but I plan on getting better pictures with my real camera later this week. Also–I’m bringing back the bathroom plaques!

BABY! I’M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to lately, a whirling dervish of paint and idiocy. I plan on having another giveaway soon too, because why not?

Somnambulant Revival

art promo, Etsy Promo, Uncategorized

Feb 172014

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’re probably totally annoyed by all of this painting bullshit by now. Time to utilize the ol’ “hide” function, I guess? So, sorry if you’ve already seen these but I wanted to do some ‘splaining.

I started Somnambulant Art back in 2007 after accidentally falling back into the whole art thing thanks to Blogathon. I was reminded of how therapeutic and cathartic art is, so I kind of went with it, and surprisingly, some people seemed to actually like it and even asked to give me real life money for my paintings. So I opened my first Etsy shop, Somnambulant, and had so much fun making monsters and cute things with totally fucked-up stories. And I kind of even built up a following! But the best part was that this was how I met Andrea—we were (are) both members of the Etsy’s Dark Side team.

Then I was out of work for awhile. And the funny thing about being out of work is that you don’t have any money anymore. I mean, we had SOME money because Henry still had a job, but we kind of needed to eat and pay rent, so I couldn’t buy supplies anymore. And let’s face it, when I’m selling art for $10-$40 a painting, I’m not really making enough profit for that to be my actual day job. And that’s fine, because I liked where I was at. I was selling at a comfortable, realistic volume, and there was even a local shop (Wildcard) that was selling my pendants and bathroom plaques. It was really fun, until I couldn’t do it anymore, both financially and mentally. Shit went down in my personal life (Christina, obviously; it always goes back to Christina, lol) and then I got a new job (my current one) and instead of being all, “Yay now I can buy supplies again!” it was more like, “Fuck, I’m too emotionally drained for this garbage.” Christina was my #1 supporter and now I didn’t have her. At the time, I didn’t think I could do it without her constantly praising me like the quasi-invalid that I am.

And it went on and on like that for three years. Etsy even deactivated my shop because I couldn’t pay the bill. I was pretty resigned into thinking that this part of my life was over. Now I have the cash for supplies, but I also have a full-time job that has kind of made me lose a sense of who I am, while zapping every drop of creativity from me like a dog sucking the marrow out of a bone. One of those goddamn Catch-22s. I did that Crafts from the Crypt thing last year at Castle Blood and unloaded some of my old paintings, but when I tried to paint new ones, I was almost paralyzed, like I couldn’t remember how. But I ended up selling a lot of my paintings that day and people seemed to respond positively to them, way moreso than my pendants or serial killer cards. It kind of sparked something, but then that light went out just as quickly as it was lit. It’s hard to explain, but I was in this rut and actually even convinced myself that I hated painting.

But wow, this winter, you guys. This winter has been hazardous to my mental health. (And everyone else’s too I’m sure!) I just got tired of being snowed in on the weekends, unable to go out and do things, that I picked up a paint brush just for the hell of it. First, it was just supposed to be a one-off: I was making a custom painting for my friend Alyson. But then it was like something clicked, FINALLY. It felt fun again! And I want to start doing it as a side gig again, because I’m tired of Henry saying NO WE HAVE TO PAY BILLLLLZ when I want to buy weird Asian fruit and when I sold art, I had my own bank account just for that. I’m also trying to save up some money for a sort of pilgrimage that my brother and I want to go on, and I thought maybe this would be a good start. I suck at saving money.

Custom “just engaged” painting.

Until I get things squared away with Etsy (I don’t want to open a new shop with a different name; I’m forever-attached to Somnambulant), I’m going to post finished paintings on my blog and Facebook and whoever wants one can claim it and I will do the whole Paypal invoice thing like we did last year with my Crafts from the Crypt rejects.

“Eat Shit.” 12×5.5 I think? (I love this one but Henry hates it, which makes me love it more.)

~~“Tools.” 12×5.5 I think? (This one was inspired by Andrea. <3)~~ SOLD!

I freehand my shit, no stencils or whatever.

“Drop Dead.” 5×7 (I’m really into cute things with mean messages.)

“Puke.” 5×7

“Brock” 5.5×5.5 — SOLD

“Snacks.” 5×7

************

So, that’s what I have so far. I will try not to be too annoying about it, but until I find an alternative, this is the best I’ve got. And sorry if you think that because this isn’t “fine art,” that it’s just stupid finger painting. This is my style and it makes me happy.

If you DO like it and want anything, let me know! I’m going to do some customs again too, but nothing on a large-scale for now. Probably 10″x10″ and smaller, because I know realistically I don’t have the patience or time for anything bigger than that. I know how much I can handle (and it’s not much, haha)!

CONTEST CLOSED non compos cards Presents: Serial Killer Valentines Giveaway!

contest, Etsy Promo, Uncategorized

Jan 152014

Remember making those stupid cardboard mailboxes so our classmates could slip in Barbie and Hot Wheels Valentines, and then acting repulsed when you got one from the kid you had a crush on? That’s what I had in mind for my non compos cards serial killer Valentines, and last year I finally made some. Three different sheets of 6, to be exact! Each sheet is perforated, so you just tear them apart and pass ’em out to whoever is on your hit list this year. I have several of my own people in mind.

I’m giving away a full set of all 4 sheets to one (un)lucky commenter! Just visit the shop and then leave a comment here telling me what you’re favorite card is. Be sure to comment with a valid email address where you can be reached if you’re the winner. Get extra entries by tweeting, sharing on FB, etc etc. You know how these giveaways are: “I told my church group about it via Google+!” “I pinned it to my ‘disgusting people’ board on Pinterest!” Do what you gotta do, friends. Contest ends Sunday at noon (EST).

I also thought these would be fun to pass out at the office, your AA meetings, church collection baskets. Leave them on the bus for the next person who sits in your seat to find! Stick them in those things called “books” before you return them to that weird place called “the library.”

The possibilities are endless! I just don’t endorse giving these to your kids to pass out at school. Unless their school is super progressive like that one on Victorious. (Don’t they have an app for passing out Valentines now anyway?)

(The backs are set up for printing in this particular photo, so it looks like they don’t match up to the fronts, but they really do, I promise. Blame Henry.)

These are printed on high-quality paperstock in eye-popping ink. I couldn’t be happier with them!

6_Sheet_4 front copy

6_Sheet_4 back copy

Need a birthday card? Check out the whole line of non compos cards here!

DISCLAIMER: These are meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I do not think murder is cool, nor do I condone it. But what’s life without a little humor?

Wolfie Maximus: Kind of like a commercial

chooch, Etsy Promo, Uncategorized

Mar 142013

Most people know Chooch as the trucker-mouthed, acerbic-witted kid obsessed with The Walking Dead, Ju-On, cemeteries and ghosts, but he also has a much softer, cat-loving and stuffed animal-cuddling side.

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I like to cultivate his sunnier side every now and then to keep a safe balance. Currently, his favorites are Fox and Rabbit, both puppets. Fox was a Goodwill find and Rabbit was Chooch’s purchase at the Magic Mob economy boost two weeks ago.

My friend Steph has a plush monsta-making company called Frankenstitch. She posted a picture of her new Easter-inspired peepers last week on Facebook and I immediately clicked over to her Etsy shop because I thought it would be the perfect addition to Chooch’s Easter basket this year, plus I had been wanting to buy something from her for a really long time but I am always so annoyingly distracted.

Then I got to her shop and had a complete meltdown because THERE IS JUST SO MUCH MONSTERLY CUTENESS TO BE HAD.

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And I have never been the best at making decisions.

But then I saw him. Wolfie Maximus. The only monsta in the whole shop that wasn’t brightly colored, but still—he spoke to me and I could totally see him in Chooch’s arms. Bam, ordered.

He arrived yesterday.

Not the greatest picture because I was on my way out the door for work, but I had to open it and cuddle with him! He is BIG (bigger than I thought he was going to be), sturdy and his wolfish pelt is so soft and fuzzy that I considered stuffing him in my purse and showing him around downtown.

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(You know, the whole three alleys I’m familiar with. And the trolley station!)

Marcy dislikes.

When I came home from work last night, I couldn’t help it — I gave him to Chooch right then instead of waiting until Easter.

“OMG YOU’RE THE BEST MOM!” Chooch screamed, nearly tackling me with a hug. This kid is REALLY into stuffed things. And yes, I realize how that sounds.

“You couldn’t wait, could you?” Henry sighed in the kitchen, after hearing Chooch erupt in giddy jubilation.

WOLFIE IS TOO CUTE TO KEEP HIDDEN, OK.

I planned on taking a better photo today, but then this morning, Chooch asked to take Wolfie to school. “I have to show my friends! They won’t believe how awesome he is!” And then he gave me ANOTHER HUG, you guys.

If that’s how it’s going to be, maybe I should just sign up for the Monsta of the Month club.

——————–

If you’re looking for a fun and colorful present for a kid (or grown-up! I want all of them!), I can’t recommend Steph’s plushes highly enough. These would also be good gifts for:

people with a mood disorder which requires them to squeeze colorful, stuffed fabric;
blind people you hate (they’ll never be able to figure what they’re feeling);
serial killers who need something to hold after their moms reject them;
your local anthropomorphism support group in need of a mascot
Erin Rachelle Kelly

Frankenstitch Production’s creations are top-notch quality — totally worth the price. Chooch is totally getting another one for his birthday in April.

(And my birthday is July 30, you guys.)

More Bloody Valentines

Etsy Promo, holidays

Jan 152013

OK, OK, this is the last one, I swear! I just couldn’t rest over the weekend until I had an even number of sheets and I had all these ideas and then realized, “Wait, do I seriously not have ANY Green River Killer cards?!” So I made one and that is how I justified needing to make 5 more different designs. When I’m on a kick, I can get pretty out of control. I mean, you should see the fruit in my kitchen.

So here is the final sheet of the Serial Killer Valentine series (although, I might potentially be making zombie versions).

(I’m sorry for the enthusiasm, but I’m just really excited and proud of these! I’ve wanted to make them for a long time now and I worked extra-hard on them.)

Richard Ramirez, Harry Powers, The Ken & Barbie Killers, Green River Killer, HH Holmes, David Berkowitz/Son of Sam.

Each one has their name printed on the back, so if you give one to someone and they don’t know who it is, they can ask Google. Sick AND educational, see!?

In case you missed the post about this last week (which can be found here), each sheet is $6 but there are different bundles you can get to save money. All the details are on Etsy: non compos cards. If you prefer to not go through Etsy, leave a comment or email me directly: noncomposcards@gmail.com

You won’t find anything like this anywhere else, I promise. Henry and I have been making these cards since 2007 and put a lot of love and effort into them. They’re not cheaply or sloppily made. Check my feedback on Etsy, you’ll see!

The sheets are sold in protective cellophane sleeves. I just shipped a bunch to Warriors 3 Comics in Michigan, so if you live near the Wayne/Detroit, go check ’em out!

(And by that I mean go buy some!)

Serial Killer Valentines! Perforated Sheets! OMG!

Etsy Promo, holidays

Jan 112013

UPDATE: these are now even better, check out this post!

****

For the last couple of years, I’ve really wanted to make sheets of mini-Valentines, like the kinds that kids pass out at school. Remember making those stupid cardboard mailboxes so our classmates could slip in Barbie and Hot Wheels Valentines, and then acting repulsed when you got one from the kid you had a crush on? That’s what I had in mind for my serial killer Valentines, and this year I finally made some. Three different sheets of 6, to be exact! Each sheet is perforated, so you just tear them apart and pass ’em out to whoever is on your hit list this year. I have several of my own people in mind.

The possibilities are endless! I just don’t endorse giving these to your kids to pass out at school. (Don’t they have an app for passing out Valentines now anyway?)

These are printed on high-quality paperstock in eye-popping ink. I couldn’t be happier with them!

Want a sheet of all Manson? Half Gein / half Borden? See one that you’d really like as a regular-sized card to send in the mail? These are easily customizable so holla at me with any requests. (That part will just become Henry’s burden anyway, so what do I care?)

This is honestly what I’ve been doing all week: staring at serial killer mugs and eating fruit. I might need a little rest.

DISCLAIMER: These are meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I do not think murder is cool, nor do I condone it. But what’s life without a little humor?

Serial Killer Christmas Card Giveaway!

contest, Etsy Promo

Nov 082012

In 2006, I jokingly handmade a shit ton of serial killer-themed Christmas cards to send to my friends. It was kind of a “fuck you” to the greeting card industry. What I didn’t expect was that people really liked these cards! I mean, they were handwritten with gel pens, you guys.

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What’s not to love?

I think I started out with 5 different killers.

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Today, I have 13 different options in the Christmas card section alone. These cards have come a long way, and they’re still my little babies!

As a thank you for the years of interest and support in non compos cards, I’m offering a free set of 5 cards of the winner’s choice!