Short weeks are truly always the longest somehow,  but it’s finally Friday and I feel so good about that. Even though it’s chilly and rainy currently.

Here are some things that are currently making me smile, or smile-adjacent (smirk?):

1. Henry Loves Jake Webber

Dude, you guys I know I’m all aboard the Johnnie Guilbert Emo Train, but Henry has the man-hots for his counterpart, Jake Webber I think. Our new nightly ritual has been to unwind watching videos from both of their channels (the best are the ones where they’re together though!) and Henry will actually LOL at them. His favorite ones are where Jake decides to cook something for the viewers because Jake has the same cooking prowess as me.

I like to take stealth-photos of Henry laughing at these so that I can send them to Chooch, who will NOT sign off on this new hobby of ours, and thinks we’re too old to be enjoying 20-somethings act like feral animals while trying seasonal candy from Walmart, but you know what Chooch? LEAVE US ALONE.

I did get Chooch to watch ONE video though and he agreed that it was “kind of” funny and that he probably would have liked it years ago but now he only watches physics videos on YouTube. WOW. How exciting.

Oh, and you want to talk about someone being influenced by an influencer? Jake mentioned sugar-free Sonic water powder stuff and literally the next day, Amazon was delivering them to our house. OK Henry, you simp.

Meanwhile, I’m over here in my Johnnie Guilbert shirt like: 

We’re just Mr. and Mrs. Midlife Crisis over here, don’t mind us.

2. GOLD NECKLACE

My Spotify was like, “Oh  you’re listening to Pierce the Veil again? Let’s add some Swancore back into the mix too” which has been so pleasant and familiar to my ears, god I love me some Swancore (Dance Gavin Dance, etc.) but then this one song came on and I was like, “Whoa, hold up – what is this? It sounds like Kurt Travis?” It was a band called Gold Necklace and I WAS RIGHT – it’s another side project of Kurt Travis! Holy shit, this song nearly made me fall out of my seat – I have been out of the loop! Anyway, Henry had told me a few weeks ago that Anthony Green is coming to Pittsburgh with Geoff Rickley and Kurt Travis, so this was my cue to snag two tickets. Kurt Travis, you are brilliant. Anyway, I am trying to be more diligent with keeping up with my old music tastes too. I get FOMO bigly when it comes to music and I want to start going to smaller shows like I used to, in addition to the big Kpop concerts.

3. Stupid Memorial Day Parade + Twin Lakes

Not even worth making a separate post about it. I truly despise this parade so much, I wish I could better articulate my feelings but I guess all you need to know is that I don’t really have any neighborhood pride so I could really give a shit about seeing our local girl scouts trying to serve cunt or those idiotic war reenactors who INSIST on firing their guns in front of our house every year.

Anyway, I was giving Chooch a play-by-play so I’ll do the same here:

1. Larry (Chooch’s frenemy) is ready for the parade with his….sheriff hat I think and a flag.
2. Larry gave Henry a flag.
3. Some financial group drive by in a CYBER TRUCK with an accordion player on the back – I refuse to clap for that thing.
4. Some big military plane flew overhead – Henry’s favorite part.
5. No child has fallen, sadly.
6. I wondered out loud how I could get myself into the parade. Doing WHAT?? Henry asked. Promoting my blog, obvi, I said. Oh, your blog is the LAST thing this neighborhood needs to find out about. Wow.

Yeah, I just really hate it. I sit on my porch steps and say, “I’m not waving to these assholes” or I’ll wave facetiously just to be an asshole. I just get very angry! Maybe because I hate this country so much.

After the idiot parade (thanks to NO ONE for tossing us any candy – age discrimination!!!), Henry and I went out to a park called Twin Lakes that somehow, we have never visited. It was about an hour away and I didn’t feel like being in the car that long so I almost told him to forget it but then tried to just “go with the flow” which is something we’re working on in therapy, squashing my kneejerk need to fight myself and happiness. Really glad we did this! It was a super fun day even though I was wearing brand new Vans and ended up saying “ouch, ouch, ow, omg my broken toes” halfway into the walk.

I’d love to go back sometime this summer while Chooch is home and force him into having a family picnic with us haha.

4. Resting Penelope Face

She always looks so pissed! But she’s the sweetest, most loving cutie sweetie!

 5. Audra Took a Tumble

ok, yoooo – this is apropos of NOTHING but I was flipping through a stack of old photos just now and came across this one:

This was at my elementary school’s playground – sometimes we would go there during non-school hours because we lived right down the street. Anyway my first thought was “Shit I used to be so GOOD on the monkey bars” and then I immediately thought about the time my friend AUDRA fell off those same monkey bars and landed on her head!!!! She didn’t die or anything but I remember it being scary and her getting rushed off the playground and probably to the hospital I guess.

Then I flipped to the EXACT NEXT PICTURE:

AND AUDRA IS IN IT!!! She’s the girl right in the middle with the headband. See? She didn’t die and was apparently cleared to go to the pumpkin patch with our Girl Scout troop only a few mths later. (Interestingly I’m not in this picture but my brother Ryan is??!!!)

Oh well, that’s all for me.

Sunday was such a glorious day! In therapy this week, I was saying that I know it might not always be healthy to do this but I can never help but compare the present to the past and this was one of the few times recently that it worked to my benefit – last Memorial Day Weekend (2024) was so bad. Chooch was in DC visiting his Mexico study abroad roommate so I was sad about that because we would typically do a family coaster roadtrip and then I remember (vividly!) having massive body image freakouts that weekend. We had planned to get some flowers for the yard and went to a nearby cemetery first where I had a major mental breakdown over how I felt inside my skin. I flipped out and said, “We need to go home NOW.” And that really set the tone for the whole weekend. I spent the whole weekend frantically searching for miracle diets, and then there was a huge storm that Sunday and our power was out all night and I was so miserable. The only good memory I have is that Bambi was still alive then. But yeah, it was such a bad “inside my head” weekend that I actually tried to block it out for a while there.

But this past weekend was the total opposite and gave me hope that maybe “life goes on” isn’t such a corny saying after all.

Most of Sunday was chill, just hanging out, reading, going for walks. But then around 4:30 we left for the Pierce the Veil concert and I was so giddy. You guys, I haven’t seen them since 2017 – a combination of many things: PTV having a sizeable gap between albums so they weren’t touring, Covid, me diving headfirst into Kpop. I actually think I only missed one of their Pgh shows during that interim though, maybe two. I almost missed this one too! I knew they were coming, I still follow them on Insta. But I saw the venue and wasn’t too inspired. (Star Lake, an outdoor pavilion that’s about 45 minutes outside of Pgh.) It’s always a disaster trying to leave there because there is only one exit so Henry was ultra-grumbly about having to go here again after such a long reprieve. I’m a passenger princess so what do I care?

We stopped at Sheetz and got an IPA to share in the parking lot since we had some time to kill and I was IN FULL ERIN FORM by then. As soon as I saw all of my fellow PTV fans, I was so stoked and felt like it was mid-2000s again. Do you have any favorite bands where you can remember exactly the first time you heard them? My Pierce the Veil origin moment is a perma part of my memories. It was 2007 and I was driving home from visiting Christina in Cincinatti. Back then, I used to make mix CDs of all of the recommended bands in Alt Press magazine. On this particular mix, I had both PTV and Dance Gavin Dance, among others. When I say I almost record-scratched the car (I think this was the Nissan Sentra era, hated that fucking lemon so much) off the highway when “Currents Convulsive” came on….and I had NO IDEA what it was either because I was driving and couldn’t look at my track list until the next time I stopped!

I just remember thinking that the singer’s voice sounded so familiar to me and it turned out that I had listened to Vic Fuente’s original band, Before Today, on PureVolume. I was so into PureVolume back in the day and it’s even how I knew of Panic! At the Disco before they even released anything other demos. Not a humble brag, just a fact! I was constantly on the prowl for new music back then (OK, that never changed lol).

The demographic of PTV fans seemed to still be sort of young. Maybe more young adult now as opposed to teenagers back when I was still regularly going to their shows. Henry even commented, “Why does it seem like I have gotten older but the fan base has stayed the same age?” LOL I mean, Henry was always old in comparison though. Even I was!

I will say, I supremely miss the scene kid era. I only saw ONE person who could have passed for a scene kid. Bring back scene kids! I feel like the music genre back then was referred to as “scene music” and now everyone just calls it emo but to me, emo is like, I dunno, midwestern sad boy rock like Appleseed Cast and Braid and Sunny Day Real Estate. Things have changed a lot when I wasn’t paying attention to American shit, I guess.

There was a merch truck in the parking lot, so I decided to grab my shirt there before we went into the venue. There were two girls behind me, probably mid-20s, and one was a kpop stan. I was going to turn around and try to make friends but she was talking waaaay too much about J-Hope and sorry but I don’t really want to deal with Army so I kept to myself. I swear though, the whole Warped Tour scene is such a natural gateway into Kpop land, I can’t explain it but it makes so much sense. It was like a natural progression for me to go from this to kpop, and I’m trying to make more room for both in my life because after this night, and my Johnnie Guilbert deep-dive, I realize now that I still have a blackened section of my heart and I have been depriving it of attention for 10 years now!

Standing in this line, in the dusty parking lot, brought back so many memories of Warped Tour. I’m tearing up all over again – those were the best days of my life. Henry and I even chatted about it a bit on the drive to Star Lake, how it was the ONE DAY a year where we did NOT argue at all. I was so blissed out for the entire day, start to finish, that it was nearly impossible to burst by bubble. I honestly can’t think of a single bad Warped-related memory, except for the time I went to Warped in Cincinatti with Christina and her sister Cynthia and MISSED CHIODOS because Cynthia was the one driving and we were at her mercy, so when she decided to stop at Walgreens for NO GOOD REASON, there was nothing we could do to stop this and I felt so out of control and anxious. Then she decided she wanted TO LEAVE EARLY so I missed PARAMORE. To this day, I still have never seen Paramore, and that would have been the era I wanted to see them the most. I don’t care too much for their mainstream radio bullshit.

But literally every Warped Tour after that was heaven for me. I loved the exhaustion, the sun burn, the music hangover, the joy of following Warped’s progression around the country all summer via social media, watching all of the YouTube content, getting obsessed with new bands. It was my Christmas in July. And Pierce the Veil was always the angel on top of the Christmas tree, every time they were a part of the lineup.

Getting inside was smooth sailing because some nice Star Lake staff member zoomed over in his golf cart to tell us that once we got our merch to NOT get in the line closest to us because it was packed in comparison to one of the other entrances behind us. He wasn’t wrong! We walked right in.

Henry bought a $22 (ughughughugh) beer to share and we found our seats where we proceeded to people watch and reminisce about old scene stuff. This season of life is so weird. I’m still trying to acclimate!

Anyway, I will end this here and save all the band talk for the next post, OMG CAN YOU STAND THE WAIT. Another OHE concert recap, how blessed are you.

I have been sitting with this one for a few days now. I listened to it when it first came out over the weekend but have REALLY listened to it more the last day or so and it has broken me. I knew that Jonghyun was somehow going to be featured on it but didn’t know the full details and hoped that it wasn’t going to be some weird, cold, tacky AI recreation of his voice.

But then I learned that this was something Jonghyun had been writing and composing for SHINee before his death. His family allowed SHINee to use it and Jonghyun’s guide vocals were incorporated into the chorus and also the bridge, which he hadn’t had a chance to write the lyrics for, so they kept his “scatting” in that part and, paired with the rest of SHINee dancing together in a circle, it just really sent me. I was crying (and still am lol) so hard that I was choking.

I think what I love the most about this song is that since it was written pre-2018, it has that nostalgic feel to it that makes me remember why I began to love Kpop so much to begin with. It’s light, airy, summery, totally SHINee-coded. I have been trying to spread the word about this because as usual, SM is doing a pisspoor job promoting it so it’s not getting the traction and attention that it deserves, especially not with the new gen Kpop fans who just haven’t learned about SHINee.

My love for SHINee is so stupid strong. I really hope that they come to the US some day!

Anyway, I have lots more fun Memorial Day weekend to recap once I stop crying over this haha.

Henry won me a new (to me) wheelchair at a local auction and brought him home yesterday morning – I named him Guilbert and I love him.

Chooch is annoyed that we put him in his attic (“Great now even more space is taken”) but hello Chooch, you technically don’t even live here anymore, sooooooooo.

That’s all I got for now. It’s been actually a very full and memorable weekend and I am exhausted but overall feeling pretty good and alive. This happens so rarely anymore that I have to cling onto it and take moments out of the day to be grateful. Life is so weird but weekends like this make me realize how glad I am that I keep pushing through the sad and dark times. If you’re feeling low, keep doggy-paddling. It is almost always worth it.

Weird ending for a post about a new addition to my antique/haunted wheelchair collection but you never know what you’re going to get on this blog lol.

Greetings from Saturday. So far, Memorial Day Weekend has been decent. I took the day off yesterday and it was mostly spent reading, walking, and finally revisiting the 4th season of You, which I had quit watching after 4 or 5 episodes last year because it was one of the most dreadful seasons in a series I’ve ever experienced. But I wanted to be able to watch the final season that just came out so I barreled through – fuck, that was some rough hate-watching TV.

I think the only thing of note that happened otherwise was that I decided to treat myself to a latte so I walked to Potomac Station (yeah, my boycott didn’t last long). However, I was one block away when I looked up and realized I was about to walk right into someone I’ve been avoiding. Sorry to be vague but you just never know. They were at a parking meter and I was like OMG SHOULD I TURN AROUND but I figured that would be more noticeable so I just kept walking and legit had to walk RIGHT BEHIND them, so close that I was sure they’d catch me in their periphery. Right as I slipped past, I was about to exhale when they turned and started to say something and I went rigid – but they were just asking a nearby cop a question about the meter.

Now I was panicking that they were also going to the same cafe as me so as soon as I got to the end of the block, I dove around the corner of a pizza joint and flattened myself against the wall. Then I called Henry and in lieu of “hello,” I hit him with a “FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” and he was probably thinking, “This is it, this is the call from jail I’ve been expecting for 24 years.” But then when I told him what was happening, he started laughing and excuse me but the last time I checked, this was not a laughable situation.

I waited another minute and when I didn’t see that person pass the pizza place, I tempted fate and poked my head around the corner after trying to peer through the pizza place windows only succeeded in making me look even more suspicious, like some begging to lose a game of hide & seek.

They were still at the meter!!! So I hurriedly retreated to my hideout in the stoop of an apartment building next to the pizza place. One of the residents came out at one point and almost walked right into me, that’s how great I am at HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.

“Ok, I’m going to check again,” I whispered to Henry, who had stayed on the phone with me so at least it looked I was doing something and not just creeping up and down a quiet side street for no reason. Right as I stepped off the stoop of the apt building, two people emerged from the other side of the pizza place and it gave me such a DAYLIGHT FRIGHT but it was two men and not the person I was trying to evade. When I popped my head around the corner, the rest of the sidewalk was empty. I dunno where they were went, but it was somewhere the opposite direction of the cafe, thankfully.

Still, my nerves were all tweaked when I got to the cafe so I stood there waiting for my Bakewell tart latte, wringing my hands and casting furtive glances over my shoulder.

I texted Megan this story while I was in the cafe and she was like “This WOULD happen to you!!” and then Chooch actually said, “LOL that’s really funny.” Wow. Glad I could send you a chuckle, dear son.

Apropos song for this moment:

Nothing else that great happened except that when I was on a post-exercise evening walk, I was listening to an audio book that was boring me so my mind started to wander and the final result was that for the first time in years (maybe since 2020??) I have a concrete idea for family Christmas cards and had to run back into the house and write down the ideas because all I do these days is forget.

Henry was like, “It’s….May.”

I saw this sign & dog poop baggies on my walk this morning and it made me laugh.

Then my sister Amy sent me a post from Duffy’s (beer dist. that we go to sometimes) where they were advertising a six-pack of Kennywood-inspired beer from Penn Brewery so Henry and I stopped there on our way to Mingo Park (today’s afternoon stroll locale). I mostly wanted to get this because of the cans – I have a plan to cut them, flatten them out, and tack them down onto wood and somehow incorporate one of our family pics from Kennywood into the middle of it. TO BE CONTINUED.

We got one for Amy & Dick too :)

Mingo Park was a nice time but it brought back some memz about PSYCHO MIKE because I was there once with him in high school so I started venting about that and I guess I want to say that I’m thankful that Henry is a WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE type (most of the time). Somehow the conversation went to how when I broke up with Jeff (not a psycho but also not for me) for Henry, the most biting dig he could think of was, “Have fun dating an old guy and listening to country music and drinking Coors!”

LOL we have never done either of those things, but OK.

“Isn’t it crazy how we had nothing in common when we first met and now we do?” I said to Henry.

“Yeah because you made me assimilate to you and now I have no individuality,” he answered without missing a beat.

This is SO TRUE but he loves my interests. My interests make him interesting.

As already detailed in my last post (IF YOU SUBSCRIBED, YOU’D KNOW), we went to Butler specifically so I could pay tribute to my old priest, but prior to that, we had lunch at a brewery in the nearby town of Renfrew. We almost didn’t do any of that though because first we went to some antique shop in Butler and I was in a foul mood right off the bat because it wasn’t true antiques but more like an offline Etsy with crap I would never buy. For example, license plate art that said LET’S GO BRANDON. I got so angry about this that I didn’t even bother with the rest of the shop, just started yapping about how I would never support a shop that sold objects of political harassment, thank u next.

Then we were going to go to this museum that was originally on the agenda when we first planned to go up to that area on a Saturday, but COME TO FIND OUT (hate that phrase but here I am feeling hateful) that it’s closed on Sundays. I was in a mood by then and said, “let’s just go home, I don’t care anymore.” Classic Erin.

Chapter 1 Erin, even.

After pouting for a bit and allowing Henry to drive past the place where we were going to eat lunch, I finally said FINE and let him turn around. Good thing, too, because we had a really nice time!

Missing Links Brewery, obviously. We split the “pizza of the day” which was some kind of fungi party on a pizza. It was really good and the perfect size.

I am in so deep on this Johnnie Guilbert (I ALMOST TYPED CRAIG) kick. Even Henry likes him, so there.

I haven’t missed my scene kid days much over these last several years but this has made me absolutely ache for it. 2007-2016 Warped Tours were so sick. The last two were mid but still glad that they happened. We did not get tickets for this year’s Warped revival because I didn’t like that it wasn’t a full summer tour across the country. It just feels like they’re trying to compete with the other “one weekend / one city” festivals out there and I’m not here for that. I want old Warped Tour, not to have to travel to either DC, Long Beach, or Orlando. (Although…Orlando is tempting.)

HOWEVER. I do have a bit of regertz because Johnnie Guilbert is performing at this year’s Warped Tour, but only the Long Beach & Orlando ones.

(You guys, I got it so bad. I told Henry the other day, “Ugh I think I’m obsessed” and he was like “No shit.”)

Um…anyway. We had pizza and flights!

I am definitely an American IPA bitch.

I liked all of the beers that I had in my flight! One was a pineapple jalapeno wheat that was delightful, made me wish I was sitting on a patio with the gals chirping about….Bridgerton? Real Housewives of an Undisclosed Location? Look, I don’t know what gals chirp about. I don’t have any friends, remember? lol.

(Babe, wake up – she’s self-deprecating again!)

I also want to add that we had a wonderful server who reminded me of my therapist sort of and I love my therapist, and Henry was like, “YOU KNOW WHAT, DADDY’S GON’ TREAT HIMSELF” and got the “beer”amisu which was JUST MADE and he got the first slice. It was delectable.

Then we walked off pizza and beer at the aforementioned cemetery.

Afterward, I wanted coffee so we stopped at a cafe next to this salon and Henry thought he was so funny by saying it was a salon for me so I had to remind him that we LITERALLY just visited the grave of my dead priest?!!!

(No j/k I am a total big-boned heathen over here.)

Hilltop Cafe was very cute, but my maple iced coffee was very watery. Henry’s pistachio cold brew was decent though so I stole it.

There were two (real) antique/junk stores right up the street. The first one was one small room and full of very strange old men and vintage porn. There was this large clown photograph that was REALLY speaking to me but Henry made me question life with one twerk of his moustache as usual.

We were about to leave when Henry pointed out the pinball backglass hanging on the wall. It was for a game called Blackout and I really wanted it. But we decided to go next door to the other antique store first.

That one was much larger and felt more like a legit antique shop. There was an old gumball machine (stand included!) that I wanted to get because that’s been on my list for a few years. But for some reason, I ENDED UP GETTING NOTHING. Not the pinball glass, nary a clown pic, neither a gumball machine. I don’t know what I was thinking.

I hated this wall so much. So much so that I had to send a picture of it to Chooch to ruin his day as well.

Literal junk resided in the back room and I felt like I was hiding from Leatherface back there.

The best part of this place was when some older man actually EXCLAIMED, “Oh! I have been looking for one of these for years!!!!” and when I turned to look, he was EMBRACING some kind of taxidermied….rabbit? I don’t know what it was but the juxtaposition of this preserved animal corpse being hugged by a man who looked like he drove a pick-up and loves root beer in frosted glass bottles was so cutely funny to me??

“….it’s your lucky day,” I said in my fake high-pitched, “Look at me functioning in society” lilt. We saw him a few other times throughout the store and he was still hugging the rabbit (OMG WAIT WAS IT A JACKALOPE MAYBE??) protectively against his broad farmer chest.

Ugh, honestly though I know how great it feels to find your personal treasure in an antique store though, I get it, brother!

Then we listened to Johnnie Guilbert the whole way home.

Two weekends ago, Henry and I were having a conversation about the new Pope and I got super in my feelings about my Catholic past. I was VERY into it (not like, in culty way) and I actually enjoyed going to CCD every Sunday because to me, learning the Bible stories felt like history. It was entertaining, and also there were donuts in the basement afterward. When we got to the level of Sunday School where tests became a thing, I fucking aced them all. I’m telling you, I ate that shit up like Eve with apple juice dripping down her chin.

And even as a TEENAGER, I looked forward to going to church on Saturday evenings with my Pappap. I mean, 1. I was with my favorite person in the whole world, and 2. we would always go out to dinner afterward haha. My BFF (& Chooch’s godmother) Christy’s family also went to the same church so sometimes Christy would join us for dinner afterward and then sleep over my house and we’d completely unravel all of the church’ing by watching R RATED MOVIES OMG. My favorite was when we would go this Italian restaurant that was called ‘something di Napoli” but we all affectionally called it Naples and my Pappap of course was friends with the owner and the best servers so we got special treatment but the reason I liked it was because I had a HUGE CRUSH on one of the bus boys lol.

ANYWAY! This trip down a dirt lane in my mind’s Jerusalem resulted in me fondly telling Henry about my favorite priest at that Church – Father Salberg. He was AMAZING. He made church interesting and fun, and his sense of humor was incredible. Like a toned-down Robin Williams, if Robin Williams looked like GOD because he is totally how I pictured God to look – barrel-chested, an avuncularly booming voice, huuuuuge beard. This guy was a life-sized hug standing on the altar every week and I looked forward to Communion and then standing in line to shake his hand after mass.

I was surprised to find myself tearing up while I was telling Henry my Father Salberg mems. I started to Google him and, sadly, found his Obituary from 2018. I started to cry (???) but also was kind of shocked to see that my church wasn’t even referenced in any of the bios I found online about him. I remember vividly that he was also a priest at a state pen, and the years he did that overlapped the years he would have been a priest at my church. I think that he must have been doing both at once, and now that I realllly think about it, he may have actually just been an interim priest at my church because I do remember having other priests there and none of them came even close to matching his charisma. This actually is even more telling now that I realize he wasn’t there for more than a year or two, but still had such an impact on me. I will tell you right now, had he still been the acting priest at Nativity when my Pappap died, maybe things would have been different for me. Maybe I’d have actually had someone to talk to. Maybe I wouldn’t have found myself going down a very dark path.

When I saw that Father Salberg is buried in a cemetery about an hour outside of Pittsburgh, I wanted to go. So that is what we did on Sunday, drove to Butler and had actually a nice afternoon at a brewery (more on that later!) and then a walk through Father Salberg’s cemetery.

“This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Henry said when we got out of the car. I was just about to say that I didn’t necessarily need to find his grave, just wanted to be there, when Henry said, “Wait—-is that it??” Literally 15 seconds into our walk, Henry spotted it! We actually kept walking through because a man was tending to a nearby grave, but then on the way back he was still there, planting flowers. So, I figured I’d just snap a quick photo for my memories and right as I did so, the man’s dog started barking so then it looked like I was taking a picture of him and his dog and I mean, I typically always feel like a creep, but even more so in this moment, haha.

This man was top notch. Remembering all of this almost made me feel inspired to go back to church but I don’t feel like trying them all on to find the one that fits. I have shit to do, etc.

We had a nice little stroll. I made Henry take pictures of me in my new Johnnie Guilbert shirt to send to Chooch who was like, “What.” And then “Ugh.”

I got new Vans! My therapist suggested buying myself something new, like cute shoes or something, to make myself feel better because my self-esteem and vanity have been taking blows lately. I was like immediately *buying shoes, doctor’s orders, it’s prescribed*

It was a beautiful cemetery (Calvary/Northside Cem in Butler) and an even more beautiful day.

We also listened to Johnnie Guilbert and Pierce the Veil exclusively on this day trip and it was crazy nostalgic. I will say that the day didn’t start off great, I was being me (read: difficult/pouty/volatile) but everything turned out ok in the end.  It did make me miss my Pappap an awful lot though.

I can’t come up with post titles anymore. God help me in the future if I ever need to find shit on here.

Anyway, Saturday was alright. I woke up in A BAD MOOD but I went for a walk, did a GrowwithJo cardio workout and then felt OK enough to be in an amenable state to leave the house with Henry. We are fully in the process of refurbing an Ikea wardrobe and dresser set and it requires trips to antique shops to find some accoutrements for it. Namely: rosaries and small crucifixes. Just…you’ll see. If we ever get it finished.

The antique shop I wanted to go to wasn’t open yet because dumbo Henry didn’t check the times so instead, we drove to Coraopolis and hit the motherlode of rosaries at some place there:

This is my collection as of Saturday. The two on the end are from eBay (the last one glows in the dark!).

The older women behind the counter didn’t ask what our deal was with all the rosaries (members the MYOB club, I like it) but I was prepared to answer honestly that the Devil appointed me to his Catholic Relic Eradication Committee.

“Can I have a paper receipt for reimbursement? Thanks.”

By this time, the antiques place on 65 was open. We’ve been here numerous times and have had success in the past (I know I’ve bought treasures here but for the life of me, cannot remember what) but I don’t think we’ve here since during the pandemic when we were renovating the kitchen and I got super pissed that people weren’t wearing masks.

I forgot how vibey this joint is. It is an eyeball feast for someone like me who appreciates antiques juxtaposed with kitsch.

I took this picture specifically to send to Chooch and instead of being disgusted in his dad, he was like, “SEND ME A CLOSER PICTURE OF THAT SHIP PAINTING.”

He really imprinted on it for some reason but ended up telling me not to get it because he won’t be able to hang it in his dorm room next year. I think I might go back and get it for him anyway though.  He’s not going to be living in a dorm forever, after all??

I wanted the light-up angel underneath the ship painting but Henry looked at the price tag and hit me with his I DON’T THINK frown.

GOOD THING MAMA BEAR* HAS CREDIT CARDS.

*(I’ve been watching way too much Jake Webber, sorry.)

Dude come on now, seriously. I could live in this room. It is so aesthetically pleasing and makes me wish we had more blank walls in the house to play with.

There was one room that had a bunch of original art from Jeff Bertrand and I was SALIVATING over them and Henry was like DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, YOU HAVE CREDIT CARDS but in the end, I couldn’t decide which one I wanted the most and spent so much time ruminating that all of them stopped speaking to me. So, I got nothing. I was in full-fledge pout mode at this point, so I told Henry to just put back the WHO’S THAT GIRL* soundtrack record I was “so excited” to buy 30 minutes prior to this. I get very overstimulated when shopping and experience shopper’s pre-remorse which results in me panicking and buying nothing.

*(I had this on cassette when I was in elementary school and used to blast it on my dad’s stereo while roller-skating in the basement. Very good memories associated with this soundtrack. Ugh. I hope it’s still there?!)

I left with nothing but an allergic reaction from all the dust.

The rest of the day was pretty chill. My bad mood went away after I ate lunch. Shocker.

Henry went out later to get craft supplies because He’s So Crafty, and also came home with two beers from Duffy’s. We haven’t been indulging in that anymore but since he only brought home two and not a whole six-pack, I allowed it. He was able to procure this one that Penn Brewery did with Sarris Candies, which I guess I was kind of excited about because it was a hot commodity when it was released and sold out, but it’s a stout so I also didn’t have high hopes.

OMG it was so bad. I took two sips and gave it all to Henry, who also didn’t like it but he’s one of those WASTE NOT WANT NOT types and drank all of it with his facial muscles frozen in sheer disgust.

I tasted nothing even remotely reminiscent of Sarris. Not even a whiff. Tastes more like a box in the next room over from a Sarris meltaway.

AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

I was on a work call Tuesday morning and OK so maybe I am partially to blame here for having the audacity to leave my front door open to let some fresh in, but some broad came stomping up to my porch and rather than knock on the screen door or RING THE DOORBELL, she shouted, “RUTH???” into my house.

Wendy, who I was on the call with, was like, “What is that…” and I had to whip around from my desk and gesticulate toward my computer in the universal, “HELLO RUDE ASS, I’M WORKING” sign. I angrily called back “WRONG HOUSE!” refusing to provide any further helpful information to this bitch who thought it was OK to SCREAM INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE. Hoo boy, this really had me BENT.

Then came Thursday morning. I had the door CLOSED on this day even though it pains me to do so because it makes my house so dark. Suddenly, THE DOORBELL.

Remember when I was so excited about the doorbell and thrilled every time it was rung? Well, those days are over. Back to WHO IS AT THE FUCKING DOOR anxiety.

I felt real indignant at the mo’, I’m not even going to pretend otherwise. I stood up, hands akimbo, and said to myself, “No. I’m working. I don’t have time for this shit and it’s probably just a canvasser trying to confuse me questions like, ‘Who’s your pick for something-something Judge?'”

That’s not to say I’m going to still neb-out and try to see who it is. YO. IT WAS THAT SAME LADY FROM TUESDAY! I saw her walking away, jabbing her rude fingers at her phone. I was PISSSSSED. What could she possibly need to come back for?

I went back to work and forgot about it. I mean, I do have a life, after all. And part of that life entails me feeding squirrels so I got up to take a “leg stretch” and walked over to the door to see if my furry kids needed a walnoot refill. That’s when I saw a COP CAR PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE AND A COP WALKING UP THE STREET WITH THAT LADY!!

WHAT THE HELLLLLL WAS GOING ON.

(Also, when you see me breaking out the CAPSLOCK I hope you know I’m over here yelling these parts out loud in an array of accents.)

I stayed at the front door like the concerned citizen that I am known for around these parts and noticed that the cop and broad had stopped near the driveway for the behavioral health in-patient house thing next to the house where Chooch’s friend Marky used to live. (His grandparents still lived there and for the record, I don’t like the grandfather, “PAP” if you will.) So, I knee-jerked hypothesized that A PATIENT ESCAPED FROM THE HOUSE and that lady is one of the staff members and she was going door to door to see if anyone was HARBORING THE ESCAPEE and my supporting evidence was that:

1. I have a naturally guilty complex and automatically think everyone suspects me of foul play;
2. the broad was making sweeping gestures toward my direction and the cop kept LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER at my house.

The cop eventually retreated to his car, where he sat for a good 45 minutes probably lamenting that he hadn’t yet been able to abuse his power while looking under his seat for a Dunkin’ coupon. I was giving Henry a play-by-play via the tellyphone and urged him to go listen to his dorky wanna-be copper scanner to see what intel he could glean.

In the meantime, I did some work because this was, after all, during work hours and as much as I would love to say I’m getting paid to be the Neighborhood Crime Sleuth, I had engagement letters to review. :/

I checked about 10 minutes later and this time, I saw that the mom and stepdad of the aforementioned Marky were talking to the cop through his driver’s side window! I would have demanded that he get out of the car, but I guess that’s just me. Marky’s mom was casually eating a popsicle.

This is something I needed you to know.

I was standing inside the door still, and as much as I hate interacting with people on this street, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting out onto the porch after they began to walk away from the cop.

“WHAT’S GOING ON???” I panted.

“My dad’s piece of shit landlady WHO DOESN’T DO SHIT FOR THAT HOUSE is looking for Ruth because she wants that van moved from behind the house,” Marky’s mom scoffed.

“Oh, THAT is who that is?” Well, at least I won’t be busted for stowing that patient behind all of my shoes and string cheese in my closet. “She came to my house TWICE this week, asking for Ruth!”

“Because she doesn’t know what the FUCK she’s doing!” Marky’s mom shouted around the popsicle, catching sticky drips with her tongue. “My dad’s at work so I came here to move his car out of the driveway because she’s going to get the van towed.”

“They’re….on vacation,” I gulped, because Marky’s mom said that they assumed Ruth & HNC were just at work. Now Marky’s step-dad was frantically looking through his phone to see if he had HNC’s phone number.

Which I have. But didn’t feel like saying anything LOL.

To give a quick explanation of the van’s lore, HNC has THREE OF THEM. Two of them are rotting in our shared driveway. Every once in a while, he tinkers with one of them, lets it run, sometimes drives it around the block. The other one legit is a rat hostel at this point. Its tires are fused to the earth.

The third one used to be parked in the church parking lot across the street but a few years ago, the church threatened to tow it or something, not my van, not my problem, so PAP told HNC that he could park it behind “his” house. And by “his” house, I mean that house that has three units in it, one of which he RENTS. But, semantics, I guess.

Back to now – I was kind of like, “Oh” to find out that this was the cause of some fucking bitch coming to my house uninvited twice this week and then CALLING THE POLICE? Excuse me, ma’am but was this an EMERGENCY? That van has been for 3 or so years but NOW you want it towed? Maybe put that energy into protesting Trump or making Katy Perry space memes. Just seems like there must be something more constructive to do with your day than blowing a fuse over a van that is literally doing nothing and can be moved once HNC returns home from vacation? Unless she’s organizing a block party and has a small village of fancy bounce houses for adults being delivered for the backyard, I am officially not invested in this saga any further. Until it affects me and my livelihood and is relevant to my interests, stay the fuck off my porch.

(Although, now that I know how angry she is, I hope my doorbell pissed her off, lol.)

I came back in the house and called Henry to give him the lackluster update.

“Oh! I know that landlady,” Henry said after I described her as a bitchy troll with glasses, because he thinks he knows everyone like he’s Pittsburgh Santa or some shit. “Her dad actually used to live in that house too. Little guy with huge eyes.”

“I have literally no idea who you’re talking about,” I snapped, running out of patience. “The way you have this fucking random cast of characters seared into your memory…”

“It’s because I PAY ATTENTION TO PEOPLE, Erin,” Henry said, quite defensively too, if you ask me.

“Well anyway,” I quickly tacked on before hanging up, “I don’t feel like getting involved so you have to tell HNC. Byyyeeee.”

(The van hasn’t been towed yet, btw.)

(But for real though, why so many vans, HNC??? Never mind. Don’t answer that.)

I’ve been in such a pissy mood for a few days now. People coming back from the past? Leave me alone. Dumb work shit? Leave me alone. Strangers with umbrellas at  my door? Leave me alone.

So I need to be forcefully uplifting right now and make myself appreciate the good/little things so that I don’t turn into a fireball of hatred.

I got an Olive Young package delivered today and forgot that I ordered this cleanser which comes with a cutie Jerry headband thingie!

I added a second G-Dragon doll to the collection! The one on the left was a gift from my mom several years ago, maybe 2017 or 2018? It’s from the Fxxk It comeback cyle, which was one of my favorite concepts for GD. I LOVED his lime green hair and that jacket!

This new one is the outfit he’s been opening his Ubermensch concerts in and it is already so iconic, I can’t stand it.

Another good thing is that Chooch got all As on his midterms so when he texted me this morning and said, so manipulatively, “There are so many concerts I want to go to ugh” I immediately responded with “Tell me!” because I wanted to get him something! He was so whatever about his birthday, I was hounding him for things that I could get him and just felt like I didn’t do all that I wanted, especially with him being out of town now. He said “Lorde” and I was like, “OK, please hold” and then did the fucking Ticketmaster heart attack dance. But in the end, I was able to get him and a friend 2 tickets during the presale and when I say that those two tickets combined cost less than one ticket in the same section to a kpop concert, I am not being even the tiniest bit facetious.

I think it’s hilarious that he knows which parent to come to for these important matters. Henry is the laundry help line, the Dunkin’ orderer, the fielder of financial aid / tuition questions. I’m the one who buys the concert tickets with no hesitate and geeks out over the new roller coaster announcements he sends me,

OK lastly I just want to say that I am DEEP into this Johnnie Guilbert phase. I know I said, “Oh if I had heard this back when I was still in Warped Tour mode, I’d have eaten it up” but truthfully, I am eating it up in this blessed year of our lord 2025.

His music encapsulates everything I loved about that time I spent in the scene, it makes me miss Choonimals and TOMS before soccer moms started wearing them and shirts from Kellin Quinn’s clothing line and my blond and black hair (well, it was more mocha because my hair stylist really did not want to use black dye and said I’d regret it and she was right). This is the sound of my HEYDAY, you guys. Warped Tour 2008 – 2015 was the best, 2016-2018 was OK. And whatever it is now isn’t for me.

He was JUST in Chicago on Saturday and I was like “!!!!!” But Henry was like, “Don’t start” because he doesn’t want me to be happy.

Well, I just did the whole “Wake up babe Johnnie Guilbert dropped a new video” bit to Henry. Byeeeee.

After the highway museum (which I’m still so geeked about, to be quite honest – PIE AND POSTCARDS. ‘Nuff said), we drove a few minutes away for lunch at Unity Brewing in Latrobe.

Right off the bat, the Crosby art was giving good vibes.

I got a:

• LEMON CREME COOKIE something. I don’t know what kind of beer it was – a wheat maybe? Whatever it was, it was my favorite. Subtle lemony sweetness without tasting like Pine-sol!
• Another Dimension IPA – just a solid, refreshing IPA that I liked very much
• Peach Ring Sour – remember when we went to that brewery in Youngstown last month and I was like, “I guess I don’t like sours after all?” Nope, wrong, scratch that. This was my redemption sour. It was SO DELICIOUS and fun.
• Vanilla Bean Blonde – apparently this is touted as the “undisputed pub favorite” and I can see why! It was so nice.

I legit loved everything. If I wasn’t a lightweight, I’d have probably gone back to the bar and asked for a full pour of….the lemon creme, I think. Any of them really!

Henry got the Maibock (a German spring lager), the Here’s the Dill! Pickle sour (LOVED THIS, so refreshing! I could have probably had a full pour of this if we were sitting outside with friends or something), the River Goat! West Coast IPA (decent) and….the Willie’s Reserve which I ordered for him and since I have bad eyesight I couldn’t see the smaller words on the menu which said that it was cannabis inspired. Hoo boy, was it ever. Henry and I aren’t like, NARCs or anything but we are both pretty averse to pot – I can’t stand the smell of it and haven’t smoked it since probably my late teens/early 20s because I have so many mental problems that it has the complete opposite affect on me and it AIN’T A GOOD ONE. So this was not our fave. You could smell the skunkiness without even holding it up to your nose.

MY FAULT though – I would not have  told him to get that if my eyes worked better, lol.

We were seriously having such a great time here, I can’t explain it (don’t worry, it was the calm before the storm, lol).

I had whatever “sweet flats” is – OK, I’ll tell you what it is: roasted rounds of sweet potatoes topped with black bean, corn, and two dollops of goat cheese. It was exceptional!! Filling without making me feel like sick, we love to see it.

Chooch called Heny’s phone when Henry was at the bar ordering our food, so I answered and without even letting me say hello, Chooch immediately demanded, “Dunkin.” That’s the only time he ever calls Henry, when he wants him to order (a/k/a “pay for”) his Dunkin lol.

Anyway, I was like, “Wow, hello, we’re at lunch.”

“With who?” he asked.

“No one…just us.”

“WOW. I didn’t know you people did that,” Chooch said, mind blown that his parents do date-like activities together I guess.

The post-lunch plan was to go down the street a bit to Ligonier so we could walk around and not have to be in the car for 60+ minutes after eating lunch. First, we used the gross “outside, needs a key” restroom at the local GetGo gas station. I liked my outfit that day so I took this picture but I did not feel cute that day at all, to be fully transparent. I am in a very low, low, low self-esteem cycle currently.

We took these dumb pictures of each other. Chooch said we were “Wow so cool” when I sent them to him later haha.

Anyway, Ligonier just pissed me off. I hated everyone there, it wasn’t my vibe, I rejected every store we passed, I got outrageously babyish at a cafe over a chai latte that was made with whole milk because I forgot to ask for almond milk and declined their offer to remake it and said, “No this is fine” in a monotone because at that point I was trying to be difficult while pretending like LOOK HOW EASY I AM BEING. As soon as we walked out, I thrust the latte at Henry and said IT’S ALL YOURS and he was like, “?????” because now he was double-fisting iced lattes. I don’t know, I was feeling uncomfortable in my skin, it was kind of hot out but I refused to take off my sweater because I didn’t want to show my arms, Henry was NOT LISTENING TO ME AS USUAL. It was a perfect storm. The last time we were in Ligonier together was before Chooch was born it was also a really bad day. Henry has declared a travel ban on Ligonier and I can’t say I’m going to argue with him on that one.

We drove home (in a big traffic jam) in silence, me listening to Johnnie Guilbert and scowling out the window while also silently crying and wanting to die. It gets easier until it doesn’t. I just don’t know. The day was so great and then….that. Can’t even blame it on hanger because it was after lunch. Luckily, once we got home everything was fine. I exercised. Ate dinner. It was a normal Saturday night.

Grow up, Erin.

(Henry tried to blame it on me revisiting my emo roots but I have been this bad if not worse for over a year now, not to mention since I was born. So.)

You know, it’s not great. It just isn’t. I miss Chooch. BUT!! Henry and I had a nice day out yesterday (well, mostly – I’ll get to that later this week) and I even treated myself to some stuff…like TWO Johnnie Guilbert shirts – I wanted to get a third but then Henry and I both said at the time “does anyone really need three Johnnie Guilbert shirts.” But yo, he has some really good designs! And I wanted to definitely have the one of him where his Robert Smith tattoo is showing.

And then because I’m emotionally regressing, I also bought tickets to Pierce the Veil whom I have not seen since 2017!!! Also, I said that I had only ever seen them in Pgh at Warped Tour but apparently I have also seen them at Stage AE THREE TIMES. You know you go to a lot of concerts when you lose count of how many times you’ve seen one of your favorite bands.

Today was decent. Chooch actually called me ON THE PHONE this morning to wish me a happy mother days and I got lots of other nice messages too which made me feel loved because I think everyone knows I haven’t been dealing with life very well & am in my KMS era.

Later, went to Home Depot to get paint samples for the bedroom dresser and then to an antique store on Library Rd because the vision of the dresser has finally fallen into place in my head and I wanted to look for crosses and rosaries lol. We struck out (did get two other items though but one is for Chooch and I don’t want him to know what it is until he comes home!) but I got two rosaries later on eBay and one of them is glow in the dark!

Came home and I started to make my lunch after getting super hangry while antiquing because that makes me frustrated and angry in general only to find out once I pulled everything out of the fridge that WE WERE OUT OF AVOCADOS. I was big upset but Henry was like “calm down I will go to the store chill plz put down the knife.”

I got to wish New Girl Buddy a happy Mother’s Day but she didn’t seem impressed and looked at me like “I come here for your walnoots not conversation.”

Jesus.

That was Mothers Day. It was mid but at least I didn’t cry.

Just for something to do today, we laid loose plans to go to Ligonier for the day. Technically not quite in Ligonier, but we stopped at the Lincoln Highway Museum first. I only just recently learned that this place existed which is nuts because we have driven part of the Lincoln Highway many times on trips to eastern PA. I wasn’t sure what this place would entail (I mean, obv. highway educational tropes) but I did know that coffee and a slice of pie is included in the admission and that was enticing for me!

I want to say first off that the woman working at the welcome desk was the EPITOME of welcoming. Like, give her a wagon already. She was a delight and seemed genuinely invested in the quality of our visit by giving us a pamphlet, A STAMPED POSTCARD (this comes into play later!), instructions on how to use the self-guided audio wand, detailed directions to the restroom (which was what Henry asked her IMMEDIATELY, so embarrassing), etc. She was great. I wish I caught her name but I am so bad at that.

Hoshi!

I loved the photos of some of the roadside attractions in their glory days. Anyone who knows me even a little knows I am Amish-enamored with a penchant for that sweet ass shoo fly pie so and have visited Dutch Haven many times over the years. I am so glad that it’s still thriving!

Historic Route 30: Dutch Pies, Elusive Pretzels & a Pachyderm Paradise

And the shoe house! Grateful that Chooch and I got to tour it before it closed to the public :( I think Henry said it’s an air bnb now ugh.

…then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Then in this room, the museum lady came in and turned on a 13 minute video for us. Right before that, Henry was like, “We better choose our seats” and I thought he was joking because we….were the only people in the room and there were about 50 empty seats? But he wasn’t joking so now I’m scared that he’s seeing dead people. I mean, the museum is in an old….something. I wasn’t paying attention.

You guys my ADHD is unhinged. I zoned out almost immediately after the museum lady turned off the lights and shut the door on her way out. Henry was enthralled, but I was reading my Insta DMs. There was this one point where I thought it was over so I whisper-yelled, “Yay!” but it was just a very long blank transition into the next scene.

Any road enthusiasts out there can feel free to ask Henry for a synopsis because he watched the whole thing like a hawk and probably was saying, “Knew that. Knew that too. Yep, already knewed.” while mentally chopping away at Rt 30 facts as they came at him like some boring infrastructure version of Fruit Ninja.

(OK look. That is the one part I was listening to, when something was being discussed about INFRASTRUCTURE and in my head, I burnt myself on the lit up lightbulb and said, “OH THAT IS WHAT INFRASTRUCTURE IS” because literally the other day some political canvasser came to my house and was yapping on and on about why he supports the guy running against our current mayor and he was like, “and because of the infrastructure” and I said, “Yeah totally” but had no idea what was going on. This guy was like 20 too and had his finger way more firmly on the pulse of local politics. I will be frank here and say that I pay attention to world news and national news but NEVER watch the local news so I have no idea if I’m for or against our current mayor. I do know his name at least and he’s who I voted for in the last election, did I do bad?)

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day so I sent this to Chooch. His response?

“Wow.”

You already knew that. Just like Henry and his Lincoln Highway knewing.

Not pictured, but there was also an exhibit on license plates and they said that all but like….3 or 4 states? have inmates making license plates and I practically screamed OMG THAT’S ACTUALLY TRUE?? Henry just smirked and nodded because again, he knows everything. I wonder if he knows this one firsthand though…

OK OMG OMG OMG this whole time I was like “I HOPE WE CAN FIND A PEN SOMEWHERE, I HOPE THERE IS A PEN IN THE CAR, I HOPE THERE IS A MAILBOX NEARBY” but then there was a whole section of the museum DEVOTED TO POSTCARDS with TABLES AND PENS AND A MAILBOX!!!!!

I was GEEKED.

I made Henry write one to his mom. He tried to say he didn’t know her address off by heart and I said, “NO WORRIES I HAVE IT SAVED TO HER CONTACT INFO ON MY PHONE” and spun my phone so that the screen faced him. I am always prepared in case there are postcards in the near future.

I wrote mine to Chooch! I signed it MOMMY and wrote “stan Johnnie Guilbert” on it too so he will be so thrilled when he gets that. If he ever checks his mailbox.

They had enlarged postcards from the past on display. This place was totally my jam.

I loved this! It reminded me of when I was smoking in highschool (UGH) and used to purposely go to the same 2 0r 3 diners specifically to use their cigarette machines. WTF was wrong with me. Well, I mean, aside from being addicted to nicotine.

My dad would be so stoked on so many of these exhibits! He is a connoisseur of pop machines and coolers and ESPECIALLY loves his bevvies in glass bottles. Definitely mentioned this numerous times but Henry won my dad’s heart by gifting him with a case of glass-bottled Faygo root beer for Christmas years ago.

Before roadside motels, there were roadside CABINS and this is what the inside of one looked like, much nicer than a lot of the places Henry has had us holed up in, that’s for sure.

The pie and coffee portion of the tour came at the end. There is an actual vintage diner inside the museum!

That lady over there was so nice and got our pies for us. Two men came in right after us and also sat at the counter. It turned out that they were from Mt. Lebanon which is just two towns over from us, so that was kind of wild. The diner lady was laughing because she said she expected to meet people from all over when she started working there but most people are from within an hour away. She said the first guy she ever met there was from Latrobe, and she was like UGH THAT’S WHERE I’M FROM TOO. Lol.

Somehow, she mentioned that her daughter is in Portugal this week and the guys were like, “Oh wow one of our friends is also in Portugal this week!” The full sitch was that her daughter was going with friends and meeting a friend over there, and they were like, “OUR FRIEND IS ALSO GOING WITH FRIENDS AND MEETING A FRIEND THERE?!” and the lady was like, “What is your friend’s name? No, that doesn’t sound familiar.”

I peaced-out somewhere through that discourse but tuned back in at the end and thought, “Oh what a bummer” but then I just asked Henry for the full story because after we left, he was like, “THEIR FRIEND AND HER DAUGHTER HAVE TO BE GOING TO MEET THE SAME FRIEND THAT IS TOO COINCIDENTAL” and I was like, “I’m saying.” But I had no idea what was going on until right now, hours later, as I’m writing this so you and I, blog, are learning together.

Look, don’t expect a fat ass slice, but it’s free so just be happy with that. Honestly, it was good, maybe not Double R Diner tier, but I would have definitely written home about it if I hadn’t already mailed the postcard.

(OMFG HENRY FOUND THE INSTAGRAM OF THE FRIEND OF THE GUYS’ NEXT TO US AND SAID, “YEP THIS IS HER BECAUSE SHE’S IN PORTUGAL” but we don’t know the museum diner lady’s daughter’s name so what good is that…? Creep.)

After this, we did other things which I will post about later. But this was a good start to the day and I had no complaints.

1. Accidentally Emo Again

OK guys I mentioned the other day that I fell down the rabbit hole thanks to WE WENT TO COACHELLA videos brainwashing me into subbing to Jake Webber. And I mentioned that I was also like Wait hold the phone is his friend Johnnie Guilbert from the Warped Tour / Bryan Stars YouTube days? Confirmed. So then I started watching videos from Johnnie’s channel too because he’s funny to me OK I have immature emo boy humor. I’ve seen his gf in some of the videos and one time he was wearing a CHRISSY from Stranger Things shirt and said, “I’m wearing my girlfriend.” I thought, “Yeah, she does look like Chrissy from Stranger Things.” Days went by and then I stumbled across her Instagram and said to Henry, “Oh his gf has a lot of followers too. She looks like she’s a model, I guess?” Then a few minutes later, “Oh, she’s an actor too.” Then another minute later, “OMG HIS GF LITERALLY IS CHRISSY FROM STRANGER THINGS.”

Anyway, I bit the bullet and listened to some of Johnnie’s songs on Spotify today and almost immediately sighed and said out loud, “Great. I’m a fan.”

I would have flipped out over this in like 2010 but it scratches that latent emo itch, I swear to god, I feel like I’m waiting in line to get into Warped Tour right now. No, it gives me that same giddy feeling from like, 2004 when Christina and I discovered From First To Last.

2. New Furniture to “ruin” or “beautify” depending on what camp you’re in

We bit the bullet and finallllllly bought a new dresser from Ikea (I don’t know why we keep buying shit there) and a wardrobe. There is a big reason why there are barely any pictures of our bedroom and it’s because there are clothes everywhere. I am a fucking clotheshorse, I can’t be stopped. But Henry and I both have our own broken dressers and they don’t match and are ugly (see also: they’re just wood, oh no). Anyway, Henry brought the new dresser/wardrobe combo home today and I’m giddily thinking up refurb ideas for it. I definitely want it painted a light pink to match the pink accent wall of our bedroom (the rest of the walls are hunter green) but I’m deciding on if I want to use wallpaper on the drawers or whatever. Need embellishment inspo.

Meanwhile, Henry is like, “Why can’t we leave it as-is?” I mean, that’s probably what he’s writing in his diary or the Mother’s Day Card he’s giving to his mom. “SOS mom, she’s making me inhale paint fumes again.” He doesn’t dare say this to my face.

I also have a plan for our OG beverage buffet which presently lives in the attic lounge. I think having projects will help me.

3. Pope Shit

In group chat yesterday, everyone was going on and on about the pope shit like this whole rigmarole was news to them? Like it hasn’t happened two other times in our lifetime?? I stayed quiet on the subject because I was about to drag out my cross and get super righteous up in Teams, so I instead turned my frustration on Henry.

“DON’T YOU REMEMBER ME FORCING CHRISTINA* TO WATCH THE WHOLE POPE BENEDICT DECISION WHEN THEY WERE VISITING SPRING OF 2005 AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH EWTN???” (That’s the ETERNAL WORD TELEVISION NETWORK, FOR YOU HEATHENS.)

“Yes,” Henry sighed. “How could I forget.

Oh, I just went poking around in LiveJournal to see if I actually wrote about that part of their visit and that was a time travel I didn’t need.

I do want to add that I was very concerned to learn that the new Pope is AMERICAN and started panicking that Trump pulled some strings, but now I’m ok after doing some non-fake news’ing and learning that the Pope is actually against everything Trump and Vance the Pope Killer stand for, so fingers crossed that it stays this way and that he does good things.

*(Two C-word mentions in one post; one more and they might pop out of a Mexican jumping bean.)

4. Catching Co-Workers in My Emo Web

I was telling Nate about #1 of this Friday Five (hopefully your memory isn’t so jacked that you don’t have to SCROLL UP for a refresher, but if so, now is the time to do that). I told him I need a YouTube detox and then went to lunch. In that period of time, Nate had done his own Johnnie Guilbert research so I came back to a Teams message from him alerting me to the fact that Johnnie’s girlfriend is not only Chrissy from Stranger Things, but the daughter of Casper van Dien. What a wild ride that was. Hope you were wearing your seatbelt for that.

5. Excuse me, but did you mean Dazee?

I have been pretty bitter in general lately about family stuff (OK that’s always) but my brother texted me and mentioned our old dog Dazee but called her Daisy because ofc he did. This seriously gets under my skin so much because Dazee was my dog. I was the one who went with our mom to pick her up and no one else knew about her yet. I named her Dazee. But he consistently refers to her as Daisy to this day and makes me feel so disrespected, like I was completely written out of family history after I moved out. I even corrected him by replying with “*Dazee” and he said “lol.”

She was my fucking dog.

I have so much anger in general haha. Ha.

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Let’s end this with some CHRISSY, WAKE UP:

Why does it feel like April was so long ago, yet it seems not right that we’re already in May. Time gets weirder the older you get, I swear to GD. Anyway, I keep telling myself that I am not going to get lost in the weeds in my feeble attempts to craft concise reviews because let’s face it: a book reviewer I am not. So, I’m aiming for 2 or less sentences, maybe even just one word if it was that mid.

1. Serial Killer Support Group by Saratoga Schaefer

This wasn’t on my radar at all but I needed something to listen to on my morning walks. Interesting premise of a woman infiltrating a support group for serial killers in an effort to find her sister’s killer. Slightly predictable but still a good time.

2. Listen to Your Sister by Neena Viel

I saw this compared to Jordan Peele and I could 100% see him adapting this into his next great Black horror film. It was YA but seriously filled with vivid, gory imagery and really shone a creepy, red light on the real life horror everyday can be for Black kids.

3. Evenings and Weekends by Oisín McKenna

This was fine but the “for fans of Sally Rooney” should have tipped me off that this was going to be a big book about nothing filled with a cast of annoying, wayward 20-somethings in London. It was practically DARING me to care about any of them and I definitely didn’t win.

4. Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle

DUDE, YESSIR. This is the horror I came for. 4 solid stars, witty writing, super fucking creepy vibes. I bet the audio book slaps, but I just read this the old-fashioned way. ALSO, THE COVER.

5. All the Missing Pieces by Catherine Cowles

SO.BAD. I didn’t know this was ROMANCE, I thought it was a mystery about a podcaster trying to solve her sister’s murder but then there’s some gruff and grumpy small town sheriff that IMMEDIATELY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER and his chapters are so gross. I have never heard so many descriptions of eyes “flashing.” WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH HER “FLASHING EYES.” Also, I hated the narrator for the sheriff’s chapters. Oh god I hated this book so much. SOMETIMES IT REALLY DOES PAY TO READ THE FULL SYNOPSIS, ERIN.

6. I See You’ve Called in Dead by John Kenney

Five solid stars. I cannot recommend this book enough. It has set up camp inside my heart and will probably stay there until the coyotes find it and tear it apart, I don’t know what I’m saying because now I’m thinking about this book, the characters, the writing, the plot, the beauty and perfection of it all. I need to read everything John Kenney writes now.

7. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Not as good as the other Tingle book, but this was a pretty solid LGBTQ horror. It kind of read more as YA to me, ngl, but still great nonetheless. And can we also pause to appreciate the author’s book jacket pic?

8. No Place Left to Hide by Megan Lally

Speaking of YA – this one just hit, I can’t explain it. I loved her other book, That’s Not My Name, as well, and this one was just as fun, great twist, unlikable protagonist.

9. The Wolf and the Watchman by Niklas Natt och Dag

Dude, I dunno how this ended up on my TBR but I apparently requested it from the library, read the synopsis when I got home, thought, “Why did I request this book? I’m going to hate this!” and then by the middle of the first chapter I was hooked. It’s historical fiction (1793 Stockholm) and I know NOTHING about this time of history. But! It has an element of horror to it, it’s macabre, it’s gory, it’s dirty, and the characters pop off the pages. I gave it five stars. I have to gear myself up to read the rest of the books now because I believe this is a series. but I will tell you now that Winge and Cardell are two of my favorite fictional characters now.

10. The Next Mrs. Parrish (Mrs. Parrish, #2) by Liv Constantine

But did anyone ask for a sequel? Mid. I rooted for no one. Also, there’s a diamond story line that is so fucking cringey and if I wanted that kind of absurdly unbelievable plot, I’d watch Days of Our Lives, ok Liv?

That’s all, you’re dismissed.