Some things I want to be rememberin’ JUST IN CASE:

1. Easter 2023

This was the first year in quite some time where we didn’t really do anything for Easter. :( Henry and I got home from Chicago the night before, so we technically could have had a picnic or something, but who wants to be preparing a picnic the day after a road trip? Probably not Henry. We still put together a basket for Chooch which he half-cared about, and then later we went for a cemetery stroll but Chooch didn’t want to go because of his “knee” but he’s been back in action with his after school carousin’ so how much longer are we gonna be playing the OW MY KNEE card, hmmm? We also went to Kung Fu for boba and brought the crybaby one home too. So annoying.

Then I literally spent the rest of Easter watching YouTube content of the Chicago 7Dream concert and crying, like legit leaking big fat wet tears down my fat cheeks because I have the post-show sads in a bad way, which is also why I still haven’t blogged about the experience. Even right now, my behind-eyes are burning.

2. Don’t Hire Chooch to Squirrel Sit

Before we left Thursday, I kept giving Chooch instructions on how to feed the squirrels. “And don’t put the peanuts out front, because they’ll be tempted to cross the street with them, you have to put them—”

“—in the backyard on that fence, yeah I know, and I am NOT leaving the house to feed them,” Chooch said in disgust, never once looking away from MINECRAFT – why is he playing this again?? He has been playing this game since he was like 5, I swear to god.

Friday seemed OK. He sent me pictures of the cats “not missing” me, evidently (yeah right, we are fucking besties) and then sent two pictures of the squirrels sitting in the backyard like gangsters, gnawing on their peanut shells.

But then on our way home Saturday, THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENED:

UM NO, THEY NEED TO BE FED MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY! When I skip down the driveway with my pumpkin pail of peanuts, they start scurrying down from the trees in anticipation of 4th, 5th, maybe even 9th meal.

When they saw me on Sunday, they seemed PISSED Especially Girl Buddy, who is used to special treatment. :(

3. Bitch, You’re DNF’d

You guys, this was the very beginning of a mystery I picked up from the library, and I was so put off by the writing.

I even dramatically read it out loud to Henry in the car on the way home from Chicago and he was like, “I don’t understand those words.” If I’m reading literary fiction or a contemporary novel, fine. There is a time and a place. But this is not what I from a mystery so I DNF’d after a few chapters. Also, there was so indication that this was book #3 in a series but then I saw it listed as such on Goodreads, and I am definitely not trying to read a whole series written this way.

4. NCTFlair

I bought more pins for my NCT jacket! This is specifically NCT Dream, I guess. I’m so giddy about it because Chooch had already hated it when there were only two patches on it so now I’m going to wear it every time we leave the house together.

Renjun & Haechan <3

I mean, Drew is a fan.

5. Obigatory NCT Video

I may not be ready to recap my experience just yet, but I am always ready to share videos of NCT Dream, lol. Anyway, I still can’t believe I got to see a version of this in Chicago. I think I might have PTSD though. Please do yourself a favor and click through to YouTube to watch this. (Fun fact: it’s Henry’s favorite NCT performance – srsly, ask him!)

OK, sorry, this whole post was a cop-out but I am sad/depressed/stressed – this was another rough work week and I am just generally annoyed by everything and have a very short fuse, so honestly if I’m not over here navel-gazin’ about NCT, I’m just going to be typing out vitriolic hate posts that won’t do anyone any good.

Maybe I need to plan another party or something.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Eat a taco or something. Isn’t that a feel-good activity for normal Americans?

And these were the books:

1. All Hallows – Christopher Golden

UGH this was supposed to be “if you like Stranger Things” and like, the 1980s – I dunno. But I did not feel a single 80s vibe from this book, the characters were cardboard, and the writing was cheesy AF. Not scary.

2. The Villa – Rachel Hawkins

I didn’t realize immediately that I disliked another book I read last year by this same author, so I was nervous. However, this one was 4-stars for me. Two BFFs (the friendship is lowkey strained though) go to Italy for the summer to write their respective books and the villa they rent is the location of a very high-profile murder that took place in the 70s. I loved the 70s-throwback chapters so much, and I thought the characters in this one were better written than Reckless Girls (I think that’s what her other book is called – I don’t feel like looking even though in the amount of time it took me to type this, I could have checked lol ugh who cares). This is one of those times, though, where I wonder if I liked it because the audiobook was so well done, or if the book itself was just that solid? I dunno, it was different and I liked the main character. The ending was….I mean, it’s a bit outrageous but isn’t that why we read thrillers?

3. All Good People Here – Ashley Flowers

OK, does this borrow loosely (heavily) from the Jon Benet Ramsey case? Sure. But is it a motherfucking page-turner? EFF YEAH. I always bring a book with me when we road trip even though I barely end up reading in the car because I’m liveblogging or blabbing away into Henry’s shut-off ears, but this one had me so enrapt that I couldn’t put it down on the way to and from Toronto in March and then I stayed up late when we got home because I had to finish it before going to bed. This entertained me bigly.

4. You Must Remember This –  Kat Rosenfeld 

OK, I was super into this mystery / thriller. Loved the old family estate setting, the flashbacks to the grandma’s youth, the sardonic banter from the surly uncle. I was fully on board with this book, getting successfully creeped out here and there, until it all kind of unraveled for me at the end. I think I even said, “Really?” out loud. I still gave it a 4 because I really did enjoy my time reading it but the ending was hard for me to swallow.

5. Gothic – Philip Fracassi 

OK MUCH better than his other book I read, A Child Alone With Strangers. As I read this, it so vividly played out in my mind like a really classy horror movie from the 70s, something akin to The Omen. Basically, this struggling author is gifted an antique desk by his rich wife/gf but UNFORCH, the desk is fucking CURSED big time and all kinds of very violent chaos ensues, and believe me when I tell you that it was written with such intricate detail, that I could feel the pain in my bones. I listened to this on audio during my neighborhood walks and I was involuntarily flinching in public and sucking the breath between my teeth during some of these scenes.

But yeah, total 1970s classy horror movie aesthetic here.

6. A Flicker in the Dark – Stacy Willingham 

Megan lent this one to me and our tastes in thrillers are extremely aligned so I knew it was going to be good. She never lends me a dud!

This one was a page-turner and even though I sort of guessed the twist, there was enough other shit / red herrings going on that kept it fresh.

7. A Quiet Life – Ethan Joella

This was a very sweet character study of three extremely different strangers who each recently lost a loved one,  and how their lives end up intersecting. It was pretty maudlin, I’m not going to lie, there was no quirkiness, no comic relief really. But it was written beautifully and I cried.

8. I Have Some Questions For You – Rebecca Makkai 

FUCK YES. FIVE STARS. MY SECOND MAKKAI, AND BOTH WERE 5 STARS. This was excellent. Dark academia that I can get behind. If you’re an audiobook fan, I would definitely recommend going that route with this one.

One weird thing to note is that I read this right after a Flicker in the Dark, and both books had references to kids crushing fireflies.*

Anyway, don’t waste any more time reading this blog – just go and grab this book as fast as you can.

9. The Golden Spoon – Jessa Maxwell 

Eh. Very overhyped if you ask me. A light mystery. Didn’t really care one way or the other.

10. Shoko’s Smile – Choi Eun Young

Hello, this was fine but every time I pick up a book of short stories, I’m like, “Wait, I don’t like short stories.” Somehow I didn’t realize that’s what this was even though it literally says it in the title. Cook on, Erin.

11. Sign Here- Claudia Lux

Eh. I kept losing interest and couldn’t keep up. This had the potential of being so great and right up my wino-laden alley, but the delivery was kind of a mess and I cared about no one or nothing.

12. Episode Thirteen – Craig DiLouie

Another one that is best read via audiobook because it’s about a ghost hunting TV show, each character has their own chapters, and the background noise gave me goosebumps even when walking around the ‘hood in broad daylight. Also, there is a song that’s played several times that is FUCKING HAUNTING. It did kind of lose me toward the end because it became very sci-fi-y but I was overall thoroughly entertained and creeped out. No fucking way I could have listened to this alone at night.

13. London Seance Society – Sarah Penner

More like the London Snoozer Society.

***

OK, that’s all. Just wanted to give you a little break from the NCT Dream content (oh shit, there I go, mentioning NCT Dream again lol).

*(There were also two books that I was reading in tandem last month – one had a DAYS reference, and then as soon as I picked up the second book, THAT ONE ALSO HAD A DAYS REFERENCE IMMEDIATELY IN THAT CHAPTER. Also, two back to back books had a girl character named Riley. That’s all.)

Good evening, here I am once again, being super fucking annoying and immature! This post is all about what I wore to the NCT Dream for all of my imaginary friends who care! Imagine how excited Henry was when I forced him to take these pictures!

Anyway. Even more so than when I went to see NCT127 last fall, I wanted to adorn my idiot self with NCT flair. This is lowkey nuts for me because I am from the school of “don’t wear the band’s t-shirt to their concert” rule of thumb (LOL, who even cares?!) but here I am needing to enrobe myself in enough merch and accessories for even the most casual Kpop fan to realize, oh, NCTzen coming through.

For instance, I bought these slip-on Vans specifically to use as NCT patch displays.

Obviously,  I had my neobong (lightstick). I can’t believe I was fortunate enough to have TWO OPPORTUNITES to use it in public in the last SIX MTHS!

I painted my nails NCT-lime.

Me looking like a stoop again.

I bought a Renjun shirt specifically to wear that night because he is my NCT Dream bias, and I wore my Haechan pendant that I FORGOT TO BRING WITH ME TO THE NCT127 SHOW LAST OCTOBER, UGH. Haechan is my favorite across all NCT units in general. I also wore my neobong necklace from The Idol Collective <3

This purse is actually NCT127-specific (Cherry Bomb) but these two pins are Renjun and Jaemin from NCT Dream. This was mostly just a prop for these pictures because I actually don’t usually take a purse to concerts because I am just trying to get through security as fast as possible. I bring my phone and wallet. The end.

Definitely wore this clipped to my beltloop all night! It was good for storing the new photocards I collected at the venue, too.

And then here are my NCT Dream scout patches that Henry ruined because he attempted to glue them on instead of ironing at first, and the glue bled through in some spots so now I have to get new ones, thanks Henry.

I wanted to get a headband but the one I really wanted was shipping from like, Indonesia I think, and wouldn’t have arrived in time. I do have a bunch more patches and pins coming this week to add to this jean jacket and then I am going to wear it every time I’m out in public with Chooch because he fucking loves having a mom with Peter Pan syndrome.

It’s funny to me because I might be into a totally different music scene now, but I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON. Remember when I was so obsessed with Jonny Craig, that I had a fucking DOLL MADE IN HIS LIKENESS? Yeah, same person, just into different music since then, lol. Remember when I went to Australia to see The Cure? And then Kpop lured me to Korea? Same fucking obsessive personality, same inner child refusing to adapt to adulthood. I think the only thing that’s changed is that I’m happier, and I think Henry is too.

Didn’t mean to get so introspective in a post about my NCT Dream concert flair (lol) but I have really been thinking about this a lot lately. Music in general has saved me from myself a lot in the past, but this just hits different. And seeing NCT Dream…wow. So cathartic. I keep stalling from actually writing about that night because it’s going to make me cry. That night was completely perfect. BIG FAT SIGH.

Let’s end with an NCT Dream dance practice video, one of my faves! (Speaking of Peter Pan syndrome, my bias Renjun is dressed as Peter Pan lol.)

Before I even attempt to get into the meaty NCT portion of our whirlwind Chicago trip, I want to give a shout out to Henry for HEARING ME this time, diligently mapping out the places I wanted to hit up, and being my emotional support punching bag for all the times pre- and post-concert when my feelings would come squirting out in all sorts of ADORABLE ways. I was so afraid we were going to have a replay of Toronto but believe me when I say it, Becky, we had zero fights. NONE! NONE FIGHTS!

I mean, sure, his breathing and chewing got on my nerves occasionally but that happens everywhere, it’s not location-specific.

Since Chooch wasn’t with us, we didn’t want to hang around Chicago TOO long the day after the show, but I definitely wanted to go to this cafe I’ve been following for a while now, ever since an artist (the creator of my favorite Pee Wee wood art that now lives in my kitchen!) posted about them on Instagram because they too have one of his awesome works on the wall! But yeah, this place is called The Brewed and it’s a horror-themed cafe which is obviously going to be my jimmy-jam.

I believe it’s in the Avondale section of Chicago, do with that information what you will.

First, we had to walk under this toothy awning, and of course I was obsessed. I made sure to walk on the other side of the street on the way back so I could get the full experience. I love my dentist so much (like, LOOOOVE him) but he really needs to step up his signage game, man.

I actually wouldn’t mind having this attached to my house, if we’re being honest. I wonder if HNC & Co. would appreciate that.

Trust me, it would be an improvement on the neon beer signs in the window and ugly-ass whirligig things that ROB has erected all across his yard.

The Brewed! I made Henry go in first because I always make other people enter places before me. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Right off the bat, I want to say that the vibe was chill and friendly. Like, the lowkey, quiet friendly that you’d get if you were just having a convo with your work friends – that’s what it felt like. The baristas were already engaged in a conversation when we walked in and somehow made it feel like we weren’t interrupting them while immediately turning their attention to us. I didn’t feel rushed or like an outcast, which is something that is probably just in my head but I swear to god it’s how I feel 75% of the places I walk into.

I got a vegan glazed from Beacon Donuts and I am still thinking about this fucker. I always say that I’m not a big donut aficionado and prefer a simple sugar or glazed if I’m going to have one at all, but they usually don’t satiate me. This glazed? THIS GLAZED?? It was SUBSTANTIAL. Oh, I am so depressed just thinking about it and knowing that Beacon is so far away from me, because I actually think this might have been the best glazed, vegan or otherwise, that I have ever had in my life.

That, paired with the FLAMING ORANGE mocha in celebration of Trump’s arraignment, and I was feeling pretty fucking good.

You can see the Billy Lilly monster art piece above that blue cabinet!

Fuck. I loved the whole aesthetic of this place. It’s one thing to go full goth if your theme is “horror,” but I do prefer the kitchy, rockabilly classic monster direction that The Brewed went with. Plus, my eyeballs have a crush on the lime green / purple color palette.

And the Hausu nod on the bathroom door back there!

Oh come on, put this on a shirt for me, please. Paint this on the hood of my car.

We also bought a set of horror-themed macarons from Bad Channels, which are sold at The Brewed. These flavors were Trolls II (pistachio), The Blob (PB&J) and MOTHERFUCKING CHILDREN OF THE CORN which is the one I have been coveting from Bad Channels IG feed and I am so stoked it was available. All of them were little fireworks of flavor, but that corn one, holy shit. I LOVE corn-y desserts and sweets so this was already halfway up my alley before I even tasted it.

I was happy with these but Henry thought they were too expensive. I don’t know the going rate for macarons, but 6 of these were like $18. Is that a lot, y or n. I thought that macarons were just $$$ by default because they’re so pretentious and Frenchy, but I don’t know anything about ingredient costs and inflation, etc etc etc.

Henry was buying delicious tamales from a food vendor at a farmer’s market while I took this picture. We saved the tamales for later and ate them at a rest stop on the drive home. We got a poblano & cheese, and SWEET CORN. I thought that were really good but Henry was like being so over the top about it, like, OK we get it, they’re the best tamales you’ve had since the Service or whatever.

Ugh, the only other thing I REALLY wanted to do was go to Pie Pie My Darling which is a vegan bakery and apparently voted best cake in Chicago. However, you can’t just go there, you have to pre-order and then pick it up after the bakery opens at 11am on Saturdays, but we had wanted to be on the road before that. There are several places around the city that sells their stuff, and that weekend the big special was carrot cake, and Chooch LOVES carrot cake. So I thought that would be nice to bring home for him. We went to Liberation Kitchen, which was on the list, but you had to buy the whole cake, slices weren’t available. :( We didn’t want to leave with nothing so we each got a donut. I got the lemon poppyseed donut because 50% of the proceeds from that flavor sold this month go to the Syrian American Medical Society. The donut was good. I wasn’t head over heels for it, but I was happy to contribute to a good cause, so it all evened out in the end.

I forget what Henry got. Flapjack or something. It was good! But these were not even close to Beacon Doughnuts-levels of Morning Dessert Greatness. Next time I go to Chicago, I’m not walking I’m running, to Beacon Doughnuts. Plus, it’s an alley walk-up, which is strangely appealing to me.

Anyway, that was all for us. I gently suggested that we go to Bean just to see if NCT Dream was there, but Henry was like THEY ARE PROBABLY ALREADY ON THEIR WAY TO ATLANTA DO NOT ASK ME AGAIN.

And then we drove home, which was pretty uneventful. We literally just listened to NCT Dream, talked about NCT Dream, cried about NCT Dream, relived NCT Dream the whole way home. SIGH.

I’m bursting with things I want to discuss Re: NCT DREAM IN CHICAGO but I’m in the car on the way home and cannot do so at this time.

So instead I will share Mark’s new solo song, Golden Hour, which came out yesterday and the rest of the Dreamies were cutely helping him promote it on stage.

FUN BACKGROUND INFO about this song first! A few years ago, Mark posted a picture of his failed attempt to make eggs, and an NCT posted this on Twitter:

It’s turned into this big NCT inside joke, and people will hold up signs at NCT concerts that reference it, like, “Mark, I’ll cook eggs for you” etc. (Um can you imagine if Mark and I were roommates?? I started a fire two weeks ago cooking scrambled eggs, and I burnt my oatmeal last week.)

Anyway, all these years later, and Mark basically wrote a song about it and it is MY NEW FAVORITE SONG.

Honestly, Mark Lee should be a worldwide household name at this point. Per Henry, “he definitely has a presence.

” Henry also confirmed that Mark his 7DREAM bias! (He also likes Jisung, that’s his OG bias.)

Hello it’s 8:12am and we’re leaving our dumb hotel in Toledo-ish to start the second leg of our Chicago journey. I’m glad I didn’t live blog last night because it was extremely uneventful unless you consider me having my dinner hopes and dreams dashed twice in a row before finally settling on Sheetz which is what I should have just done when we were still near home but I said NO, MAYBE WE CAN STOP SOMEWHERE BETTER ON THE WAY but then Oath pizza had a confusing menu and a worker who was too busy fucking around with ingredients to pay attention to us and then another rest stop has a Freshens which excited me because I wanted something healthy and was eyeing up the rice bowls but, as if reading my mind, a surly worker emerged from the back and mumbled, “Just so you know, we’re out of rice bowls” extremely eventful.

FUCK YOU.

(Not you!! The food places.)

We’re at Flying Joe. I got a BLUE BIRD latte (white choc/lav) even though I came in here just wanting a regular coffee. Sigh. Henry got a lemoncello cold brew which sounds disgusting.

We’ll see. I liked the woman who waited on us.

I also got a kombucha because my stomach is begging for it.

ok Henry’s has a lemon cold foam on it which is delicious. I didn’t taste it with the coffee itself though. I dunno, it was a fine experience except that one of my fave NCT Dream songs came on RIGHT when we got there and I was sad to get out of the car.

9:56am: just stopped at PETRO in Somewhere, Indiana because I had to pee so bad but first I had to walk past a rack of NOT GUILTY Trump shirts (mmm) and a hunting knife kiosk. Ugh. I hated it there except that Demi Lovato’s “Heart Attack” was playing (love that song) and the bathroom soap smelled nice.

Hi.

Then Henry drove right down the road to Pilot to get gas and I screamed WHY DIDNT WE JUST COME HERE TO BEGIN WITH and he said “I dunno” with a mouthful of pretzels. Ugh.

Lolololol.

12:59am: Dude.

12:34: oh fuck I am fully stuffed you guys. What a great experience!!

Fish sandwich!! I have been craving a good vegan fish sandwich ever since the not-great one we recently got in Pgh. I really do not understand the Pgh vegan scene at all. Every other city we go to has it locked down, but Pghs over there having vegan restaurants that only open when they want and, as Henry pointed out, caters to only one demographic: white hipster assholes. With the exception of Sugar Spell (and Zenith, which is not fully vegan) I have always felt like an interloper at these establishments.

Henry got a po boy but my photo sucks:

Also, their chocolate chip cookies were bus.

12:38pm: Henry just performed a series of weird nose noises and I asked him to please calm down. “CALM DOWN WHAT??? WHAT AM I DOING??” Clueless.

1:24pm: we’re back in the car after doing a WALK ABOUT at some small park near where we ate lunch. I can’t eat and then sit in the car – I need to digest, Fran.

Henry loves when he’s about to take my picture and I say “wait! Should I pose?” and then activate my signature floppy limb stance. (Also, 6.5 hours until NCT Dream!)

There were a lot of different birds at this park because it was surrounding a lake, and it made me miss Chooch because he loves ducks, geese, and seagulls, and this spot had them in abundance.

Chooch, in case you’re wondering, is home with the cats, not even remotely caring that we’re gone.

3:56pm: in case you’re wondering, we checked into our room at the Wyndham for about 90 minutes now. We drove past the Allstate Arena on the way here and NCT Dream was already there and I was SWEATING.

Our hotel is decent. Henry napped off and on the whole time and I did a Grow With Jo workout and watched Friends. Then I got dressed for tonight (a preliminary run) and made Henry take pictures of me which is his favorite thing to do. But now we’re on our way to this vegan Korean restaurant for a light dinner before the show!!

5:01pm: We swung by Amitabul for some vegan Korean fare and lemme tell you something: if I lived in this area, I would be a regular. So peaceful and the food felt fully nourishing!

Spicy kimchi maki roll!

(Wait hold on we’re in the car going back to the hotel now and Henry said I BET THESE TINY HOUSES COST $300,000 AND THEY DONT EVEN HAVE DRIVEWAYS and I said “they’re cute but this area seems congested” and then immediately second-guessed myself because sometimes when I try to say adult things, I’m exposed, but Henry said “that it does” – I constructed an adult statement and it was correct, you guys!)

Back to dinner:

I got the Buddha Bop and it was delectable. I ordered the spiciest version and it was a gochujang explosion of ecstasy in my mouth-space. Ugh I love the taste of gochujang and sesame oil.

Meanwhile:

Chooch would have been THRU THE ROOF if he was here to hear Henry’s wet mastication of his meal with the soundtrack of a monk chanting “Om” on repeat playing from a speaker. It was actually making me twitch a bit.

We both only ate half because we were still full from lunch but now we’ll have food for after the concert at least!

6:01pm: we just came back to the hotel after getting some of the best lattes I’ve had at:

It’s inside a train station. I got an ube latte (hot) and Henry got an iced pistachio donut latte. We are both in agreement (I tried so hard to make agreeance a word) that they are quality.

“It’s because they’re handcuffed,” I said, AN INSIDE JOKE because I saw a sign that said their coffee drinks are hand-crafted and my shit eyes read it as “handcuffed.” Because that makes sense.

Some girl was in the station with her NCT lightstick!!!!

ITS ALMOST TIME so I have to change back into my concert clothes and say BYE.

(Bye!)

Taemin is officially out of the military and I am still processing my emotions lol what is my problem. He did an Instagram live the other day and it was so soothing, like being reunited with a security blanket.

I can’t wait for him to have an official comeback! Did you know that he was named the best dancer in Korea? It’s true. And Ten was #2! I would honestly expand this to the best in the world and this is not even because he’s my ult bias (title shared with G-Dragon, yes it’s officially a tie now) but objectively speaking.

******

I spent all evening watching NCT content on YouTube – NCT127’s drinking vlogs from Columbia (lol) and fan vlogs from NCT Dream’s recent concert in London. I’m not ready for this concert on Friday. I am going to be a big mess! Henry still doesn’t know if he will be buying a ticket for a cheap seat but I really hope that he does so that we can discuss in excruciating depth everything that happens that night!! I was crying on the couch watching some girl’s fan cam so pray for me because I don’t know if I’m strong enough. NCT Dream is my favorite of all the NCT units and I can’t believe they are in America right now as I type this!! Their concert on Newark is probably just wrapping up!

******

On Saturday, Henry asked DID U SEE THIS and practically smashed his phone in my face to show me that the main guy from the coaster group we’re members of posted that they have decided the 2023 season will be the end, etc etc and my stomach sank because HOW WILL THIS AFFECT US, WE HAVE MADE PAYMENTS ON THIS FUCKING SCANDINAVIAN TRIP THAT THEY ARE HOSTING, IS THAT STILL HAPPENING?? We have been (im)patiently waiting for the grand total and finalized itinerary and then this?!

Then it hit me and I roared, “FUCKING APRIL FOOLS.” I hate April 1st so much!! Nothing is funny!

That seriously nearly ruined my whole weekend / life.

#dramzzzz

******

Last night, Henry came home from one of the dumb tool stores and he was QUITE arrogantly holding a bottle of cream soda in his hand. Sensing my judgment, he cockily said, “I was in the mood for a cream soda, so I bought a cream soda.”

And then, “I do what I want,” as he strode past me to continue doing his chores, cream soda in his paw.

Wow. What a cool guy.

******

Chooch started physical therapy today! I have no idea how it went because he doesn’t tell me anything.

******

Ok I’m going to bed now. One more work day to get through, then we’re leaving for Chicago as soon as I log off! TO LIVE BLOG OR NOT TO LIVE BLOG?! Probably “to not” because we’re only driving as far as Toledo tomorrow and my live blogs have been so mid lately. We’ll see what kind of mood HENRY is in I guess.

And I’ll leave you with another magnificent Taemin performance. How is he so perfect??!!

I recently had this urge to dye Easter eggs after realizing that possibly the last time I dyed eggs was when Kara came over with her kids probably back in…2017?? Hold on, let me check the blog archives.

OMG yes, it was 2017, pre-Calvin, I hadn’t even been to Korea yet, and Chooch got impaled by a toothpick! Um, I can’t believe how little Chooch, Harland, and Theo were back then, even neighbor Markey was here?! I must have imbibed lots of soju that night because I have no recollection of him being here.

So, I texted Kara to see if she had any interest. I hadn’t seen her since the PIE PARTY which I’m LOLing at right now because that is also a line from the linked 2017 Easter Egg blog post. Anyway, Kara was on board and I was so happy because I barely got to talk to her at the aforementioned pie party and it was definitely pre-covid before that! I need to do better. I am trying! FRIENDS ARE LIKE SEA MONKEYS AND WILL DIE WITHOUT ATTENTION BUT WILL ALSO DIE IF YOU PUT TOO MUCH POWDERED FOOD IN THEIR WEIRD SPACE-Y AQUARIUM. Remember that, Erin.

Remember that.

I was so excited to have company so I made Henry prepare for us a snack spread of Asian market produce and Korean banchan (he made the lotus root and it was so delicious, I love braised lotus root so much! My friend Jiyong even commented on this photo on Instagram and said it looked great!).

Kara brought wine and Pittsburgh Popcorn Co. peanut butter popcorn! I haven’t had their popcorn since back when I was still working in the office. Actually, I feel like the downtown location may have even closed prior to the pandemic?! To this day, they still have the best cheddar popcorn I’ve ever had in my life – I actually never really liked cheesy popcorn until I had theirs!

Anyway, it was so great to sit back and catch up with Kara while effing around with egg dye! Henry didn’t dye any, but he obediently prepared everything for us and then loomed over us like some fucking Paas warden.

OMG and Mr. Bum Knee sat with us the whole time and EVEN REGALED US WITH SCHOOL STORIES, a lot of them I had never heard before like the time he got in school suspension when he was in 3rd or 4th grade for being overheard calling a kindergarten teacher a predator because she had her students put pins on a street map to show where they live and this was apparently displayed in the hallway?! No one ever told me about this but um, I don’t blame Chooch for thinking that was kind of weird?!

He also started blabbing about colleges he’s interested in which hello, I can barely get any serious info out of him so clearly Kara needs to come over more often so I can know more about my son’s life!

While all of this was going on, I was being SUPER SECRETIVE about my eggs and kept screaming at everyone not to look. Chooch was getting super irritated about this and then when I finally realized my masterpiece ovo-trio, he rolled his eyes and sneered, “First of all, everyone knew what you were doing and second of all, it’s not that great.”

WOWWWWW.

I ran upstairs to get my lightstick to use as a prop and this really sent Chooch.

“SHOULD I ALSO GET SOME OF MY NCT ALBUMS TOO? OK, I WILL HOLD ON!” I yelled without waiting for an answer.

I think Kara was in the middle of offering her condolences to Henry, lol.

I only dyed one other egg after this, lol. Egg dyeing is only fun for me for a few minutes.

That olive-ish one with the blue and pink squiggles is one of Kara’s and I was obsessed with it.

And then this was my happy accident! I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing because I was too busy talking my voice away – literally, by the end of the evening, my voice was half-zapped. I clearly had a lot to say!

One of the highlights I think was when Chooch called me out as a gaslighter and when I said that’s not true, he told Kara, “She even tried to gaslight me about the definition of gaslighting!” He had me in literal tears at one point from laughing so hard – he was on fire! It was definitely Throw Mama Under the Bus night at the Pioneer Avenue Whacky Shack. He’s going to have a lot of childhood stories to tell people when he grows up, I think. Either that or he’s going to be like, “Eh, my childhood wasn’t very memorable,” because I can see him doing that, too, lol.

What a great night, though! I missed Kara tons and drinking wine and dyeing eggs was pretty much the best way to catch up!

A bunch of theme parks had their opening day this weekend, not to mention the unveiling of the new RMC, ArieForce One, at Fun Spot Atlanta, PLUS Chooch’s bum knee keeping us from planning any coaster road trips in the near future – all of which has me floundering in FOMO.

I should stop watching the enthusiasts’ YouTube videos, truly, but I’m a glutton for punishment. So, I spent most of the weekend watching on-ride POVs of ArieForce One, walk-thrus of Hershey Park and Six Flags Great Adventure, and a tour of Australian theme parks on the coaster channel* I hate watch

*(Coaster Studios – I used to really enjoy this channel but then the guy started dating some broad and now she’s riding his coattails over all over the world, and I know that I should celebrate this because the coaster community is such a nerdy sausage party, but she is so fucking annoying / obnoxious / thinks she’s funny but she’s not. So, basically if I started dating one of the most popular coaster snobs on YouTube.)

ANYWAY. I felt inspired to wear one of my coaster shirts on Saturday because this is the closest I’m gonna get to a coaster for the foreseeable future.

Also, I had to laugh because Henry knew that the sweater I was wearing on top is called a shrug – that seems like a piece of info that should have cruised in one ear and out the other, as they say, but I guess some level of his conscious dog-eared this as valuable.

I like this look though because roller coaster t-shirts are generally SO MASCULINE because you know, girls aren’t meant to enjoy air time, etc. I love Lightning Rod SO MUCH (baby’s first RMC) but every shirt I have ever seen for it is so ugly. This was the least testosterone-themed one I could find at Dollywood, but I still don’t like it very much. So at least my afghan-inspired shrug adds some cuteness to it!?

In other weekend news,  it was a good one! Too short, as usual, but I got to hang out with Kara (more on that separately!), start some decent (so far) books, drive Henry and Chooch nuts while feeding the squirrels actual nuts, and we shopped for what is probably the penultimate Easter basket for Chooch. :(

Aw, who am I kidding?! I’ll be That Mom who continues to prepare an Easter basket for my kid when he has his own kids!

Tomorrow starts spring break so of course I’m pouting because last year’s spring break was the most fun, but even if Chooch hadn’t busted his knee, we still weren’t going to be doing anything major this week so I can’t be too whiny. Besides, FRIDAY IS NCT DREAM IN CHICAGO ANYWAY!!! I have spontaneously eye-squirted over this numerous times over the weekend, I’m just so excited!!

ALSO – TAEMIN IS BACK TOMORROW!!!!!!!

I hope anyone reading this had a really great weekend, or at least a neutral one, because sometimes neutral is all we can really ask for.

I feel like there is no chance that Kennywood will ever get an I-box RMC, but….maybe Waldameer?! DEL GROSSO’S?? Lol.

Last Friday, I was in a group chat at work when the oblig “what’s everyone doing this weekend” question came up. I excitedly divulged that I was finally, after like 20 years, meeting a friend that I had made on LiveJournal back in the golden days. I can’t remember exactly how or when Lindsey and I friended each other over there but it was definitely well before Chooch came into existence and also back when I was still in the mix CD game because I’m 99% sure I made her one. #dorkalert!

Neither of us still use LJ, but we have continued our online friendship through Instagram and Twitter, which, you know, say what you want about social media, but it does have some perks!

“Do you know where she lives? Where she works? You should tell your husband where you’re going to be, so he knows,” a concerned new-er coworker said who truly does not know that my lifestyle is based solely on tempting fate and dancing on the edge of sanity. Also, lol my “husband” was the one driving me to get axe-murdered!

Anyway, how this happened was that we have both suggested meeting up here and there over the years but we have never actually solidified it, you know how life goes.

And Lindsey has really been so complimentary about the changes in decor we’ve done around the house, so I always want to be like YOU SHOULD COME OVER but is that weird?! I dunno, I feel like when I was younger I would have asked and not thought twice about it but I’m a little more socially conscious (lol am I though) the older I get so I thought maybe we should have lunch so it doesn’t appear that I am luring her into my psychedelic lair. I DMd her on Instagram and said, “OK we gotta get something scheduled” because it just felt like the time was right! We picked a date (which I then had to switch up on her because the WILL SIGNING thing ended up being redcheduled for the original date we chose, of fucking course it would be!) and then Lindsey provided some restaurant suggestions which I appreciated because I am way out of the loop with the Pgh restaurant scene.

The first place I looked up was 40 North and immediately saw spaetzel on the menu. That was all I needed to see. We agreed on it, made a reservation, and then my “husband” dropped me off with nary a “good luck / be careful / don’t embarrass yourself.” I don’t even think he fully brought the car to a stop, now that I think about it.

OK can I just say that meeting people is so hard for me but I felt so relaxed from beginning to end because Lindsey had such a chill and calming vibe about her! I know we’ve e-known each other for quite some time, but that doesn’t always translate well in real life. But this felt like we had already gotten the first meet-up out of the way and now we were just catching up. So weird how things work out that way sometimes!(Obviously I’m speaking for myself, so I hope Lindsey wasn’t actually physically clawing at her skin, dying for me to STFU and finish my lunch so she could leave!)

Sometimes I forget how nice it is to have a conversation face-to-face with someone!

The food was excellent, my drink was so smoky, gingery, and delicious (the smokiness caught me off guard but hello, it was called Tindersticks so…), and there were no uncomfortable lulls like I experienced the day before at Station 4. I didn’t even realize that we had been there for 2 hours! The only weird thing about the entire lunch was our waiter’s penchant for whispering; I kept trying to read his lips for clues but he had a bushy beard so then I was just guessing what my answers to his whispers should be.

Seriously, I will never stop talking about the LiveJournal days because of moments like this. I hope we do this again before another 20ish years pass by! (Even though she doesn’t like Phil Collins!)

Woo the end of another week! Now for a whiplash weekend and then right back on the hamster wheel.

Well, here are five things.

1. This time next week, I will be crying into my hands and also probably drowning on my tears because I will also be screaming at the same time WHY BECAUSE I WILL BE AT THE NCT DREAM CONCERT, THAT’S WHY. Ugh, I’m so excited for this! This is the Dreamies’ first North American tour and I honestly was starting to think that SM was never going to send them here! The closest they have ever been was in 2019 when they performed at some boy scout event in WEST VIRGINIA?! And guess where I was? IN KOREA.

I got this patch and I have to put it on my jean jacket before I leave for Chicago!!!!! I even set an alert on my phone for Thursday to make sure I don’t forget my Haechan pendant because I forgot it when I went to see NCT127 (Haechan is in both groups in case you’re not fully immersed in this scene and did not know!) last fall!

Kpop brings so much joy to my life. I spend all week being a grown up with a serious job (except for when it’s not serious like when we’re talking about lamb cakes, cults, and DOUG in group chat) so please just step off and let me be a teenager when I’m off the clock. It’s literally my survival mode, lol.

2. Dude, Robert Smith was going OFF on Ticketmaster the week that the Cure tickets went on sale. He was like, “TM, I’M WATCHING YOU” and called them out on every shady fucking thing they did after he explicitly told them how it was going to be. I love him so much for trying. It still wasn’t a perfect system and it was still extremely stressful, but he really really really tried to prevent price gouging  and even forced Ticketmaster to issue partial refunds for some shifty fee that they tried to slide in without him noticing. Or something – I didn’t really understand it and was honestly so tired of Ticketmaster and everything related to it at this point because I had to fight for NCT Dream tickets and Cure tickets within like, 5 days of each other and I was already stressed out about actual Life Things so this just really skyrocketed my blood pressure.

3. Speaking of tickets and stress, Henry officially booked our flights tonight for our upcoming trip in August and I’m excited but also feel sick because we are not rich people and it felt like straight up hemorrhaging money. It’s also making me nervous because the last time we attempted an international trip, the whole world went on lockdown literally two weeks before our departure date. So, while I want to run laps around the house and scream about how I can’t wait, I’m just sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me, thinking about the myriad ways this trip could get canceled. That’s yo’ girl, miss brightside!

4a. A few weeks ago, I saw a “TIP” on YouTube about how TOASTING oatmeal before adding milk/water makes it taste better. I CAN DO THAT, I thought. So I tried it one day, with some cinnamon sprinkled in there too, and I smugly showed Heney when he tentatively entered the kitchen to see what I was doing. “Just be careful, because that can burn really fast, especially with how you like to cook with the highest heat,” Henry warned me and I got SO PISSED, like go sit down, homedad, and let me do my kitchen thang. I watched the YouTube video, I know what I’m doing! Anyway, I had a good streak of success – like 3 or 4 whole times of cooking toasted oatmeal (I’m not really sure I could taste the difference to be honest), but then today, it happened. It finally happened. Henry’s premonition came true and I fucking BURNT my oatmeal. I mean, it was pretty noticeable too, like half of it looked charred. I still added the almond milk and other hot cereal accoutrements, because I didn’t feel like starting over. And let me tell you – toasted? I can’t tell. Burnt? Um, yeah, I could taste the difference, lol. It was so fucking sad. Also, I feel like burnt oatmeal is some sort of very obvious metaphor for my life.

4b. Related: Henry said I should cook only with a wok since I love the highest heat setting.

5. Today, a new RMC (MY FAVE COASTER MANUFACTURER) coaster opened at Fun Spot Atlanta and I am SO PISSED that Chooch had to go and fuck up his knee because next week is spring break and we could have potentially gone there to ride it!!!! Henry pointed out that, no we couldn’t, because we have to go see NCT Dream but HELLO we could have just gone to see them IN ATLANTA. Two birds, etc etc. GOOD JOB, CHOOCH. Anyway, I spent all day watching on ride videos from all the coaster enthusiasts on YouTube and my FOMO is next level.

OK, that’s all I have. I’ll be back tomorrow to tell you (lol, you) about how I finally met one of my most OG LiveJournal friends last Sunday! Also tomorrow, Kara is coming over to dye Easter eggs because we’re children and I haven’t hung out with her fully since waaaay before 2020 – the Pie Party 2022 doesn’t count because I barely got to talk to her so I’m excited for Henry to dump snacks on a plate and be our bitch for the evening like old times!

Every once in a while, I like to step into the skin of someone who enjoys doing good things and sign up for volunteer work using their nicotine-stained fingers. Especially if the work is easy and doesn’t require me to lift giant bags of mulch or stand near a log-splitter while donning zero safety gear.  So last fall when an email was sent out to our office asking for volunteers to help out with a pro bono will drafting event, I was like, “hmm, tell me more.” They needed people to fill three separate roles, one of which only required the volunteer to be able to sign their own name over and over again.

Hello, I LOVE signing my name! If you take me to a restaurant with a paper placemat and crayons, I will write the SHIT out of my name on that thing. If you call me on the phone, you can BE 100% FOR CERTAIN that I am on the other end of the line, scribbling my name over and over again on a scratch pad, receipt, or important Henry documents.

Sadly, it was then rescheduled for a day that I couldn’t do it! (The day after MY CHAINSAW INCIDENT, to be exact. Wow, a blog post that references log splitters and chainsaws, it’s like I’m a wilderness blogger now.) My friends Lauren and Nate had signed up with me but they were still available for the rescheduled date so not only was I working through some chainsaw-induced PTSD at my hair appointment, I was having major signature-scrawling FOMO and was dying to know how it was going for them. But then I found out the following Monday that the rescheduled date was also canceled so I ended up not missing anything after all!

None of that is even important. Sometimes I just get lost in my head and can’t stop typing unnecessary things. This always happened in school too, when I would turn in papers. They’d come back with entire paragraphs marked up in red, like IS THIS REALLY RELEVANT? And you know what TEACHER PERSON, maybe to me it is!!

Words words words words.

Finally, the event was rescheduled again and this time it stuck. One of the people from my firm who helped organize it was even on the news to spread awareness so that made me not only super proud and more stoked to be participating, but it also made me fully understand the event more because we all know that I’m a classic case of email-skimmer.

This organization was started by an attorney post-911 who wanted to be able to help out his local fire department, and it was determined that there was an overwhelming need for estate planning services. So, Wills for Heroes was born and honestly, I’m getting a little emotional just thinking about what a good cause this is, and how much of a burden it must lift for first responders and their families.

I mean, would I have been even happier if this was, I dunno, a Wills for Pets event? Well, sure. Pets over People all day long.

I didn’t consider the fact, when signing up, that an 8am start time meant that I would have to get up at least at 6:30 on a stupid weekend morning, which is, let me reiterate, stupid. Then I was miserable because of that and I got snippy with Henry and peeled out of the driveway at 7:25am like a big bitch baby, and then had to drive IN THE RAIN ON THAT ONE BIG ROAD THROUGH THE DUMB SQUIRREL HILL TUNNELS to the scene of the signings (some fire hall in Penn Hills).

My favorite part was when no one wanted to be the first to get out of their cars, but then Lauren arrived and walked over to my car, so I got out and then one by one, other people followed us to the front door – LOCKED. So, then we all walked in a line to a side door and for some reason, no one tried to open it? We all just stood there assuming it was locked? So then when some guy ON THE INSIDE saw us and opened the door, he asked, “Oh, was it locked?” and everyone said yes but me because DID WE KNOW FOR SURE THAT IT WAS LOCKED? So then it turned into a Thing where we all went up to the banquet room and the organizers were like, “Was the door locked?” and everyone said YES (??) so then it became an issue, and they sent someone down to stand there I guess because it became a concern that the door was locking automatically and again DID ANYONE EVEN CHECK TO SEE IF IT WAS ACTUALLY LOCKED? I think the best thing they could have done was taped a sign on both doors (front and side) with instructions on where to go.

But that’s just me thinking logistically.

Anyway, we were quickly filled in on what to do and then we got to grab treats from the spread of breakfast foods. I chose a blueberry muffin but it for sure had something else in it, pineapples?!, I can’t be sure what it was but it was a really fucking delicious muffin which made it even worse when I later found out that the treats were from Oakmont Bakery, which I BOYCOTT because they are a bunch of gross Trump supporters. I hate when I’m not true to my morals.

Nate and I lost Lauren to another table because each station only needed one notary and two witnesses. Lauren was like, “I do not need ether one of you as a crutch, bye” and this is so true because Lauren can literally talk to anyone in any situation. Meanwhile, Nate and I got a notary from the smaller firm that was co-hosting this event, and while she was very nice, it was also pretty clear that she was not interested in chatting with us all day, but that didn’t stop us from trying! Let’s just say she knows all about my Seoul subway sign that Henry is redoing and then when Nate baited me into telling her about how my house is….different, she laughed and said, “No wonder you have weirdos attracted to your house!” because I had also told her previously that I think my block is built atop of a Native American burial ground since so many fucked up, crazy things happen here, lol.

Wow, I am really telling this story out of order.

Let me back up and tell you that our notary, Sheri, asked very early on if we had a notary at our table and we said no. “You do now!” she said, setting her stuff down and then leaving to mingle with people she knew. While Nate and I were getting a coffee refill, some other lady came and sat down on the other side of the table! The table that was meant for the clients to sit!

“Who is this interloper??” I hissed to Nate, and he was like, “Station 4 IS FULL, GO AWAY.” I mean, he said that to me under his breath, not to her face. So, we went back to our table and she just like, sat there forever and I was starting to panic because we didn’t need her. She even asked if we were both notaries and I said, “No we’re witnesses. This table’s notary is over there,” and pointed over my shoulder but then she kept sitting there.

“I wonder what will happen when a married couple comes over,” the lady said, because there were only 2 chairs on her side of the table AND SHE WAS SITTING IN ONE.

“Yeah, I think the notary is supposed to sit on our side of the table,” I said, and she completely ignored me and said, “I guess I can find an extra chair to drag over.”

Nate and I were side-eyeing each other so hard, like, “How is this going to play out??” I mean, honestly, of course the balance of OUR table would get thrown off. I can never go anywhere and just have things work the way they are supposed to. If I’m involved, it’s like the Universe says, “OK, I see your Awkwardness, and I’ll raise you another Awkwardness plus 2 Self Unawarenesses.”

Is that right? I don’t play Poker.

Long story short, she ended up not taking the hint and stayed there even after our actual notary came back and sat down, but it ended up being amazing because we somehow got on the subject of California – Nate was talking about how he grew up in the city where Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure was based (he couldn’t remember Alex Winter’s name and said, “Help me out here, Erin” so I did) and then our auxiliary notary said she lived in Hollywood for some time in the 80s and 90s and then regaled us with really interesting stories about celebrity run-ins (“And then that one guy from SNL, ugh what is his name, he played that flamboyant character” and no one could  think of it but then five minutes later I blurted out CHRIS KATTAN and the relief I felt was indescribable. “Wow, you must be really good at trivia,” Hollywood said and I twirled my hair, shrugged, and said, “I mean…”) and then after an hour, she said, “You know, I’m going to ask if I can just leave since there’s already enough notaries.”

We did not want her to leave. We needed her. But she left us. And then there were long and great lulls in the conversation from that point on.

We weren’t constantly with clients – there were maybe 3 or 4 appointments happening at once over at the attorney tables, and they took at least 45 minutes, so there was a lot of just sitting around and waiting for the next opportunity to sign our names over and over. (I was so fucking good at it, too. Wait, let me think back — yeah, I was so fucking good.)

Lauren’s table sounded like they were having lively conversations all day long. Sigh.

When I was about to take this picture of Nate, Lauren ran over to get into it too and I yelled (literally, I yelled this and our notary was like, “oh” and nervously laughed), “You’re not Station 4, Lauren!” so Lauren ran back and snatched her table’s sign and I was like, “OK FINE YOU WIN.”

I was lowkey panicked the entire day though because I don’t have a Will. But I’m also not a hero (I know what you’re thinking: But Erin, you escorted that drunk lady to her friends house and you saved that moth on Brookline Blvd that one time!) so I did not qualify for a FREE WILL.

STATION 4!

“And then she said…” OH HO HO HO HO HO.

I blocked out the faces of the clients here because I’m a mature & decent blogger (I know, wtf right??). The rest of us all signed media release forms and technically I could be considered media (in some circles maybe?!) so…

But I really wanted to share this one because it was taken while my table, good ol’ Station 4, was limping through the process for the first time that day. It was…a rough start but WOULD YOU LOOK AT HOW PROFESH I LOOK SHUFFLING THAT PAPER STACK? My second job, after the most important job of autographing/witnessing was stapling all of the important documents and stuffing them into a very SMART blue folder for the clients.

The lawyer who was supervising the process (Molly–I loved her!) said, “you’re doing a great job, my dear” to me MULTIPLE TIMES. I didn’t hear her saying that to Nate, not that this is a competition or anything.

(It is though.)

When our first client sat down at our table, Nate and I exclaimed that he was our first one and he was like “Oh boy” and chuckled, but then a MISTAKE WAS MADE (not our fault) and one of the papers needed to be reprinted so he was like, “Boy. When yinz said this was your first time, I thought you were being sarcastic!” NOPE.

Don’t worry – it all went uphill from there!

Except when the lunch was served, and I realized that there were 4 different varieties of sandwiches, but THEY WERE ALL MEAT. I was pretty sad about this because my 6:30am wake-up call + too much coffee + nerves from talking to people + only having a muffin as prior sustenance was really making me feel jittery and I definitely needed food. I ended up snagging a banana from the table (and honestly, it was one of the most perfect bananas I’ve ever eaten non-sexually) but Nate kept trying to get me to let him eat the meat off a sandwich so I could have the bread but I did not want to CAUSE A SCENE. Sheri said that someone else there was also a vegetarian so that seems like enough people to start a pity party.

Then we spent some downtime trying to help Sheri pick a restaurant for her birthday dinner that night. I wonder where she ended up going….

Finally, around 1:00pm, Molly brought over the last client and both my station and Lauren’s station was open so Molly said, “OK who wants her?” Lauren’s table was like “Us!” but I was like, “No way I can single-handedly do so much better than that” so I waved around like an inflatable tube man in front of a mattress store and fucking HOLLERED, “Ooooh! Us! Pick us! Station 4!!!” and the client (this super cute older woman in a deep purple velour leisure suit) pointed at me and calmly said, “I’ll go there.”

WOOOOO!

Every.

Thing.

Is.

A.

Compe.

Tition.

Well, it turned out there was actually one more client and they ended up going to Lauren’s table because our velour’d cutie was still with us. After our client was all squared away, Molly said we were free to leave, except that we wanted to wait for Lauren so we could all walk together like the clique that we are.

But even after their client was done and gone, Lauren had to go around and say goodbye to the people she knew there from our firm (fun fact: our department is like the black sheep of the firm and even when we were fully in office, we never really had a need to venture off of our floor so face-to-face interactions with other people never occurred often, but Lauren started out in a different department before moving to ours, so she actually had to move around between floors and talk to people Therefore, she knows way more people than Nate and me.

So, Nate and I just stood in the background with our arms crossed, sighing heavily, waiting for Lauren to stop chatting so we could leave.

“I feel like I’m at the store with my mom, and every time I think we’re finally going to leave, she runs into someone else she knows, you know?” Nate said to me, and I agreed but in reality, my mom would be quickly leaving the aisle, covering her face with a copy of the Enquirer, sticking her head in the TV dinner freezer, or ducking behind a bushel of apples anytime she saw someone she knew, so….no, Nate, no I don’t know.

Anyway, I have now been writing this for 4 days, in fits and starts, no proofreading, so I can only imagine how chaotic and janky this reads. But the main takeaway is that I did something good. What a fucking sweetheart.

Just a quick update to say that Chooch had a follow-up appointment this morning with the orthopedic surgeon to go over the results of the MRI in person and also to have his knee forced into a bend which caused his face to turn red and tears spring to his eyes and I am truly sorry that I wasn’t there for this because I would shouted “DONT HURT MY BABY! Let me do it” lol. Just kidding. I would never.

Anyway, the verdict is basically what we already knew–MRI showed a very slight fracture and I guess it was the PCL not the ACL which means nothing to me, and of course the bone bruise that the doctor already told us after the MRI results were sent to him.

Chooch now gets to walk with his brace unlocked, no crutches, and will need to start physical therapy. Overall, the doctor was happy with how the knee has been healing on its own.

When they came back home afterward, the first thing I did was scream SO DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE OK TO GO TO AMUSEMENT PARKS BY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND and he was like OMG leave me alone.

We let him stay home from school after that because Wednesday are early dismissal days and Henry was like “I do not want to turn around and have to pick you up again” because you know how Henry makes it all about himself. So typical. Trust me, Chooch is fucking weird and NEVER wants to stay home from school. He is like, obsessed with school. Gross.

But meanwhile, my friend Kara, whose son also goes to the same school, texted me and said the news was reporting a large police presence at a nearby catholic school – like REALLY nearby – and then Chooch’s school went on lockdown.

Turns out some piece of shit asshole was making robocalls to schools across the state reporting an active shooter and…why?! Just why. Fuck that asshole.

I’m so glad that it was a hoax but so pissed that our country is this fucked up, like a gigantic video game under a dome. How do you fix something so broken? I’m glad that Chooch was home today but feel so many emotions for all the kids, teachers, and parents who had to suffer for even a SECOND of wondering if they were going to die.

I don’t want to end this on a negative note. Um…everything this week has been either neutral or negative, so here’s Drew! Because pets are always positive.

No wait- pawsitive. I hate myself.

I will be back tomorrow with some weekend recaps though because my weekend was actually really good!

Chooch mentioned last week that he had to write an argument about Commodus or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention, but then he mumbled something about how he had previously only known that Commodus was in “Gladiator” and I snapped to attention. “GLADIATOR? WHY, DO YOU WANT TO WATCH IT?”

“No….I was just saying that I only know Commodus from that—”

“OK but have you ever seen it?!” I cried.

“….no,” he said, backing away from me because I guess MANIACAL MOMMY is not one of my best looks.

I kept pressuring him all week to agree to watch it over the weekend. He was getting REALL PISSED. Like, he was so over it, wished that Commodus had never been born, etc etc.

Finally, I got him to agree to watch it with me Saturday night!

Right off the bat though, when Marcus Aurelius came on screen, I longingly said, “Whenever I think of Marcus Aurelius, I think of my pet orange, also named Marcus Aurelius,” I mused.

“Wow you’re so cool,” Chooch snapped, his standard response. And then, “…pet orange?”

YES, I HAD A PET ORANGE IN HIGH SCHOOL ASK ANYONE. GOD.

Also, I remember thinking “holy shit Russell Crowe kind of looks like my dad???” when this came out. I mentioned that to Chooch thinking he would immediately disagree but instead he said “yeah, I can see it.” WOW. We agreed on a thing.

I literally have not seen it probably since then.

I know I definitely saw it in the theater, because I used to actually be really into C I N E M A. LOL, why did I just get so dramatic. Honestly though, I fucking loved this movie so much when I saw it. (Who would I have seen it with though??

Ex-bf Jeff?? I literally have no idea.)

Did Chooch fucking love it? Eh….I mean….he may have marginally liked it? I didn’t do the cause any favors when I lied right off the bat and told him it was “I dunno, less than 2 hours long” but then at the 2 hour mark, he grabbed the remote to bring up the movie info and hissed, “THIS HAS BEEN ON FOR 2 FUCKING HOURS AND THERE IS STILL NEARLY AN HOUR MORE TO GO, YOU LIED TO ME, WHY IS THIS SO LONG??”

Meanwhile!! Proxomo looked so familiar to me but I couldn’t place it so I had to IMDB it.

“NO FUCKING WAY THAT IS OLIVER REED?!” I screamed. And then, “HE DIED BEFORE THIS MOVIE EVEN CAME OUT?!!?”

Look, I had the Big Hots for Oliver Reed, “Burnt Offerings”-era specifically.

“You thought that guy was hot?!” Chooch scoffed, sounding like he was holding back bits of barf.

“Well, he’s not hot in this movie!” I said defensively, and the pulled up a picture of him from Burnt Offerings and said, “Look how attractive he was here.” Chooch just scowled at me in disbelief. This prompted me to start Googling more pictures of him and I’m sorry, but Oliver Reed was fucking hot.

I guess because we weren’t getting news alerts every time even the most F-list celebrity bites it, I had no idea that he had even died AT ALL. I think I kind of expected to see that he was dead though when I Googled him, but when I saw 1999 and his age was 61?! That was shocking. You guys, he had a heart attack in a pub! That is either the best or worst way to go. Maybe he died drunk and happy!?

Anyway, of course I fucking sobbed at the end of Gladiator and Chooch only half-made fun of me because by that point, he was too busy googling the kid (well, now ‘man’) who played Lucius. “HE IS STILL ACTING,” Chooch announced before realizing the movie was over and he was still in the same room as his parents, so he quickly said, “ew bye” and that was the end of family movie night.

Just a friendly reminder that my prince gets discharged from the military in one week.

God help those around me, for I will be shrieking and sobbing my dumb face off.

I have tried to avoid any Taemin content while he’s been away but I did a mini-binge this morning and I’m finally starting to let myself get stoked! Even Henry will usually put his phone down and watch if Taemin is on TV.