Ever since going to lunch with Janna last week at HILLS, I have been on this kick of finding more family restaurants that appear to have not been renovated since the 60s. And then I remembered that there was this one place I had wanted to eat at back when Janna, Corey, and me took a tour of Nemacolin Castle, but it was closed so we ate at some other place instead. 

As usual, my compulsion to blog every minutiae of my life came in handy when I couldn’t remember the name of the place I wanted to eat (or the name of the place we ended up going to!) but a simple search on OHE learned me that it was the Chuck Wagon Restaurant and it still exists! So that is where Henry and I went today for lunch and I dunno why I was so excited about it – OK it’s because I saw a picture of the interior and it looks like exactly the place you would never expect to see me at but also everything that I love about a family eatery!

As soon as we walked in, I was squealing. This was exactly what I wanted! Henry is smiling because a Happy Erin is a Happy Henry.

This was when I wanted him to take a picture of me with the gumball machines as the background but Henry is unable to master any photographical challenge I give him. Like, who puts their phone that low?? Also, he said, “It’s a good thing I came with you so that you fit in somewhat,” which cracked me up with its accuracy because literally every man there was in camo and every broad there was dressed like they were there with someone wearing camo. If I had not been in such a great mood, I would have had some above-a-whisper commentary, the kinds that always make Henry want to curl up inside himself under a table in another state.

COLE SLAW TIME! It was pretty good! Very KFC-esque, which I like. Additionally, I ordered a grilled cheese which was fine for the $3.95 it cost (although it did not come with the tomato I ordered! Luckily, Henry gave me his tomatoes from his burger that had not yet been touched by the dead flesh, phew). Henry said his (farmer’s!!) burger was good.

(It had an egg on it so I guess that’s what constituted it as a “farmer’s” burger??)

Meanwhile, there was a conversation between three elders going on in the booth behind Henry and involved MEDICAL things which I do not ever want to hear about no matter what the scenario is, like you might say that there is a time and a place for a conversation about SURGICAL SCARS but for me, it’s “never” and “nowhere.” At one point, the one woman GOT ON THE PHONE WITH THE SUBJECT OF THE SURGERY and was practically hollering, “How big were your stones??? How big did you say your stones were??? The stones! YOUR STONES! HOW BIG WERE YOUR KIDNEY STONES??”

I fucking promise you I’m not exaggerating this. The following video is the aftermath of said phonecall, when all three people at the table were shouting out numbers and measurements of stones and I wanted to puke:

We had discussed earlier that Henry would order a piece of coconut cream pie for us to share because I didn’t want my own dessert (we had Valkyrie donuts for breakfast!) but after he finished his burger, he said that he was “too full.” Um, OK since when? Has a woodhick ever been “too full” for dessert? No! I got real pissy about this and started shaming him for his little girl stomach and then cried about how I purposely didn’t even order fries with my grilled cheese because I thought I’d be helping Henry clean a pie plate.

That cunt!!

So he was like, “OMG fine, stop calling me names, you’re hurting my feelings!” so that is how we ended up finding out that Chuck Wagon makes MY STYLE of coconut cream pie!!

It was so fresh and light, and it had WHIPPED TOPPING not sad, limp meringue! And the crust was upper tier. Not quite god tier, but close. I will be returning to Chuck Wagon many times in an effort to try all of the pies.

The bathroom wasn’t anything special but the sink had a floral design that was unexpected considering the rest of the bathroom looked like the kinds in smaller gas stations that you’re actually surprised to find are clean-ish. Do you know what I mean? It had that industrial cleaner smell to it and almost felt like it was a trailer. But at least I didn’t have to pee on top of some redneck’s poop.

Chuck Wagon! That mural made me uncomfy but everything else was amazing and I was so fucking happy when we left. Where should we go next??? Now that Valentine card season is finally over, we can do things on weekends again so I’m voting to make Saturday Lunches in Small Towns Outside of Pgh a weekly tradition.

Then we went to “downtown” Brownsville because I wanted to do a stupid photoshoot because:

• I liked my outfit;
• I am desperate for blog content in the winter;
• I am having pre-midlife crisis where I’m regretting all the years I wouldn’t let anyone take pictures of me and now it’s like I didn’t exist from 2005-2016 aside from selfies.

I will post those separately but as a bonus, here two pictures I took of Henry the Dumb during our Brownsville prowl:

When I saw this sign, I screamed, “Henry! Here’s something that you will care about! Go stand next to it!” He was so irritated because it was right next to a steady stream of traffic and he hates having his picture taken when people are around. OK cool but did I ask??

I mean, I guess I felt welcomed! Although when we were walking around, I was wearing a hot pink faux fur coat and Henry was like, “Literally everyone is staring at us.” Lol oh well!

I 보고 싶다 Korea bigly & am letting myself lean into it by wistfully scrolling thru my Korea photo albums from our first trip. But then I started to come across various pictures of Henry, some slightly edited by Chooch, and now I’m just laughing which is good because this week was EW but I feel like I say that every Friday so I guess you could say this week was just NORMAL.

He just came into the room and saw all these pictures on the screen and said, “Hey—-why….I hate you” and then went about his boring Man About the House business. Anyway, I took this picture because I thought it was funny that he was sitting next to a Pocari Sweat vending machine while waiting for the subway and also Pocari Sweat is better than the junk he peddles from his Faygo Factory.

Chooch took this picture of Henry when we were getting ready to leave Busan and it was so funny to him that he was legit crying while looking at it on his phone a few minutes later. I even printed it out and framed it as Xmas present for Chooch that year, lol. EVERYTHING HENRY IS FUNNY BY ACCIDENT.

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY? IT’S NOT FUNNY, IT’S STUPID BUT I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW.

Henry finding us after he thought he lost us in Hongdae, lol, loser.

He’s looking at the subway map so I can guarantee that he and Chooch started fighting over directions probably before I even finished taking this picture.

But what if Henry really looked like this as a baby lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol sorry I couldn’t stop doing that because I was rubbing my fingers between the “l” and “o” and it felt satisfying.

Waiting across the street for Henry to come back from retrieving Chooch’s T-Money card from the hotel. Henry was like, “I WILL GET IT BY MYSELF” when Chooch realized he left it behind because for Some Reason^TM we were always super giddy walking through the lobby, past the front desk, waiting for the elevator, on the elevator….you get the idea. Oh my fucking god there was this one time when we were on the elevator with these people who I Americanly profiled as “The Germans” just because the dad looked like some fat guy who enjoyed wienerschnitzel and lederhosen, and we literally could not stop laughing. The elevator was MIRRORED too so there was absolutely no hiding the fact that we were being little devilish pricks and and it was so obvious. I even tried to say something like, “BOY, I’M TIRED” but it came out like “Boyblahahahahahahahahahahaha” and what did it matter anyway, German Family probably couldn’t understand English, oh there I go again, being all Americanny!!

Sorry, I really am tired now. And I like German people. I don’t hast them. Du hast them.

Yeah, it might be an early night for me.

Zapangi isn’t there anymore. :( Also, I asked Henry three years ago to replace our front door with a vending machine door and he has yet to do this.

OK so I know you’re thinking, “Wow, did Henry just pack a pocketbook full of clothes for an international vacation?” and usually I would agree but I’m pretty sure that the pictures of him in that flannel were all from the same day!

WAIT my pocketbook (dumb) joke just reminded me that Henry literally used to use this super ugly leather BOWLING BAG from the 70s as his overnight bag when we went on road trips in the Earlier Years and I was always so embarrassed even though that stupid thing was vintage and probably something that a very niche group of people coveted. I wonder if he still has it. Maybe I could try to sell it on eBay.

OK cool, well, hopefully everyone has a fun weekend!

You guys, it is in the low 50s today and partially sunny. All the shit-snow is melting and I was actually able to go for a lunch time walk without the threat of breaking my tailbone on an icy sidewalk.

To put it frankly:

I FEEL REBORN.

(Fun fact: when I was little, I was obsessed with saying “adult” things, like “to be frank,” and “I’ll sue you.”)

I mean, I’m still sitting here at my work desk shivering but yeah, I feel great. I even put real clothes on today like I actually had somewhere to go other than downstairs to my dining room-cum-office.

In an effort to keep up the good mood, I will now share some other things giving me life.

Like my Olive Young haul that came yesterday:

It’s amazing how fast shipping from Korea is. I only just ordered this stuff last Thursday! And shipping was FREE. God bless Korea, honestly.

Gotta have that big tiger energy for 2022.

Innisfree is one of my favorite Korean skincare brands in case you were thinking about getting into that K-beauty way of life. Their products use responsibly-sourced natural ingredients from Jeju Island (which I will one day visit) (maybe!) (GOD WILLING)!

Um, I’m interrupting today’s scheduled broadcast to tell you that Henry was standing here losing his mind because he found out I bought Chooch some mechanical pencils last night at CVS and starting ranting about “DON’T BUY PENCILS AT CVS! TELL HIM TO TELL ME IF HE NEEDS PENCILS!” and I calmly said, “He told me he didn’t want you to buy him pencils because you buy him cheap ones” and  that set him off even more. “I BOUGHT HIM A PACK OF TWO PENCILS THAT COST (2025 Erin checking in here and I just realized I never put in the price that Henry was screaming about and three years later, I can’t remember what it was)! HOW IS THAT CHEAP!? AND WHY DOES HE NEED PENCILS ANYWAY? I JUST BOUGHT HIM PENCILS! I BOUGHT HIM REALLY GOOD ONES TOO AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKER DID HE GAVE THEM AWAY! DON’T BUY HIM ANY PENCILS!!” And then he angrily opened the desk cabinet and gestured furiously at a box of approx. 50 #2 pencils and yelled “HE NEEDS PENCILS? TELL HIM TO USE THESE!!”

Wow. SUPER SORE subject. Reminder to BRING UP PENCILS around Henry EVERY CHANCE I GET.

In other “happy” news, look at my little chubby walnut bandit!

The other day, Henry showed me a DHL delivery update he received that said the package was undeliverable due to ANIMAL INTERFERENCE. Immediately, I had visions of a line of Buddys on the porch, guarding their nuts and flashing their teeth. Lol.

Here’s the monkey sweater I mentioned recently that I ordered from ModCloth! My track record with ModCloth is like, 50/50, but this sweater actually fits me properly and doesn’t give me insane body image breakdowns. Sometimes their sizing is bonkers, or things will be cut oddly, etc. I bought a really beautifull (beautiful has one “l” there, Erin) jacket from there two years ago and was so depressed when it arrived and the armpits were like halfway down my ribcage.

At least their return process is easy, I guess.

But yes, this monkey sweater is a keeper! Also, don’t mind the dusty steps behind me. It’s because they haven’t been cleaned off yet since Henry FINALLY finished the iridescent cloud ceiling!

Here’s an action shot of Henry finally plugging all my Cure wall stuff back in – that corner has been so sad the last several weeks! Henry and his BOO HOO shoulder.

Here it is IRL:

It’s my official CALM DOWN ZONE. Bring your own pillow to scream into.

I posted it on IG and I’m sure a lot of people were like “MMMM better in yo’ house than my house, sweaty” – it’s definitely not everyone’s interior aesthetic and I can promise you IT AIN’T HENRY’S EITHER. (I dated a guy that said “a’neither” instead of “either” or “neither” and I would always be like, “That is not a word” and he would cry.)

OK BYEEEEEEE, SAID THE STY IN THE EYEEEEEEEE. (Shout out to a co-worker for mentioning a sty today in an email and giving me immediate phantom sty pains.)

I had every intention of posting about this yesterday because this news has rocked my pathetic, lonely world but then I was actually TOO STRESSED/HYPER/EXCITED/NERVOUS about it that I did a bunch of YouTube workouts instead to blow off steam. Somehow, I was able to work and I even sent Carrie a message that said HOW WILL I BE ABLE TO WORK and she was like, “Well, their song doesn’t come out until spring so you might be okay today.” LOL.

Obviously I’m happy but it’s so bittersweet because of Seungri (actually I thought that Seungri had recently appealed and had his sentence reduced to a year and a half but what do I know  – nothing except that he WAS THE FALL GUY). Did you know that some of the Korean TV channels actually blur his face out whenever old BIGBANG footage is shown? It’s depressing.

And I just want TOP to be happy. He had said after he was discharged from the military that he had no desire to be a performer anymore. He has always been interested in art and I’m glad that he’s been given the freedom to pursue these other interests and ventures (it’s the least YG could do) and I hope that he only joins BIGBANG for future schedules if his heart is in it.

Also, I’m paranoid because YG has hinted around about this before. VIPs have been given nothing since 2018 when one single was released. They haven’t performed together as a five-piece since the beginning of 2017. I have never had the chance to see BIGBANG live, and will never, at this point, have a chance to see them as OT5.

Oh, the trials and tribs of a Kpop stan! I’m telling you, when I got into this, I had no idea how much heartache it would bring – but, more joy than anything else, so we’ll stay on this path.

I’m about to go jump on a napping Henry because I’m ready for my dinner-oatmeal, so I will leave you with the last song BIGBANG ever released with all five members, omg my dumb kpoppin’ heart.

Maybe you* can relate, but I have been caught in this frustrating cycle where I am home almost constantly and desperate for social interaction, but then when I think about scheduling any type of plans with anyone, I immediately feel exhausted and just resort to my shut-in tendencies. And then an hour I will complain about being bored and having no friends.

*(You know. You.)

I can’t tell if this the new COVID new, depression, winter, laziness, or all of the above, but last week I was determined to make plans and keep them. So I Kakao’d Janna and said, “let’s go to lunch this weekend” and she was like, “yes” and then I was like, “shit now we have to choose a place” and somehow, my random Yelp map travels lured me to the town of NEW EAGLE where a family restaurant by the name of HILLS RESTAURANT resides.

We’re not on this side all that often, but we do go out that way during haunted house season, and Chooch and I were just in that area last spring for GEOCACHING ugh. All I’m trying to say is that I have somehow never noticed this place in all the times I’ve driven on this road but of course HENRY knew what it was immediately and has even eaten there like 50 years ago which sounds like I’m exaggerating until you remember that Henry is, you know, many years my senior.

I don’t even know what made me click on it when I saw it on the Yelp map, but as soon as I saw pictures of the interior, I imprinted on this bitch immediately. So I sent it to Janna with prayer hands and she was like “yes let’s go here” and that is how normal people make plans, or so I hear.

The only downside was that it’s like 40 minutes away which is kind of weird to drive that far for just a basic lunch but sometimes you gotta just make a meal into an adventure, amirite?

We met there at 12:30 and I was lowkey acting like I was about to meet a blind date inside, that’s how anxious and giddy I was. “You go first,” I said to Janna who was probably just like *EYE ROLL* but I couldn’t see because I was behind her since I made her go first, remember.

Look at that cool tile!! I felt like I was in a subway station and I loved it. Also, we were the youngest diners, so that felt good, too.

LOOK AT HOW CHEERFUL THIS IS! I blurted out the same to the waitress as she was filling the cups. “I try to make sure they never match,” she said with a smile, and my heart was bursting.

Of course, I had to send photographical evidence of my coleslaw to Henry, who was back at home slagging away at projects lol. #PoorHenry says the studio audience in unison. 

Grilled Cheese check: look, I knew I wasn’t going to get a gourmet TOASTIE (that’s what they’re called in ENGLAND, isn’t it??) and am more often than not haunted by lousy diner grilled cheeses (um, the last time I went to Hyde’s in Cincinnati, it was literally two slices of baby-sized bread FOLDED OVER and the one half only had like a corner of a cheese slice on it –  you can kindly CLICK HERE to see a true life photo of that monstrosity. But I have been to Hyde’s enough at this point in my life to know that you don’t go to Hyde’s for a grilled cheese,  you go for the MOTHERFUCKING PIE, PEOPLE).

But the grilled cheese I received on my plate today straight from the HILLS KITCHEN was exactly the kind of grilled cheese I expect to get at an establishment like this. I know it’s going to be basic, but basic doesn’t mean skimpy, you know? And this grilled cheese was just right! The menu said it came on Texas toast and IT DID! I have ordered many falsely advertised grilled cheeses! And it had more than one slice of cheese, which was evenly melted under the bread. (The points  sticking out from the bread weren’t melted, but I didn’t mind.) And the tomato I requested as an add-on was a beefy boy! Yeah, I was please with this.

(Only downside was that the waitress didn’t bring us ketchup since neither of us ordered fries and I typically require a giant pool of the stuff on my plate so that I can dunk my grilled cheese into it before each bite, but I didn’t feel like calling the waitress over to ask for it. If my Pappap were still alive, he’d have dinged a knife against his water glass repeatedly to get her attention, just kidding, he only did that shit at Blue Flame because he was pals with all the waitresses and loved to eff with them lol.)

While we were still eating, the waitress came over and asked if we’d be having anything else, so I blurted out, “do you have coconut cream pie???” because the menu and website SAID THAT THEY DO and Janna and I both love CCP. (I have never called it that before but didn’t feel like spelling it out so instead I used an acronym and then spent all these letters forming words explaining the obvious. I am a Writer.)

“We have one slice left,” she said, not realizing that she was basically uttering the words that could end Janna’s and my friendship.

Janna and I looked at each across the table. “I’ll fight you for it,” I said, while Janna The Mature asked, “What else do you have?”

The waitress ran down the list and some of the other ones sounded good too so I brilliantly suggested that we order the coconut and another one, and then split each. 12 YEARS WORKING IN THE CONFLICTS DEPARTMENT, LADIES AND GENTS AND OTHERS.

“I’ll let you two decide and come back in a few,” the waitress said, realizing that she didn’t have time to stand there for this heavy discussion.

“OK, but save the coconut for us please!” I called after her, wondering if she could detect the coating of panic & desperation hanging on my voice.

A few minutes later, the waitress came back and asked if we decided. I asked Janna if she knew which other pie she wanted to get and Janna was like, “Should we just get the coconut and that’s it?” and I was like, “Oh. Ok. Sure,” but deep down I was like, “NO I AM A PIE PIG AND REQUIRE TWO SLICES IF WE ARE SHARING.” So we let the waitress walk away and then Janna IMMEDIATELY said, “Dammit, that raspberry cream one sounded good—-” and I was already crying out, “EXCUSE ME!” to the waitress so we could tack on the raspberry slice too. Crisis averted!!

Good thing too because the raspberry cream ended up being better than the coconut! Look, the coconut was fine, but it was not my favorite kind of coconut cream pie. I prefer the inside to be more of a whipped coconut filling and less pudding-y, and I definitely prefer my slice to be topped with a whipped wig, not a meringue mountain. To this day, I don’t think I have had a better coconut (literally have type cococunt every single time) cream pie than the ones served up at Grant’s in Millvale. That pie deserves its own TV show.

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE BATHROOM AND ITS GOLD GLITTER SINK??

LOL.

Hills was decently busy when we arrived, but we stayed all the way up until they closed at 2 (two other old ladies did too!) like total rude asses. I blame Janna, who had to go to the bathroom. I had actually paid a few minutes prior to 2 but then had to STAND THERE AND WAIT FOR HER while the waitresses were like, “Cool thanks for finally leaving the table so we can clean up your mess now” but don’t worry I left a nice tip because what a great place with even better service.

We’re almost counter-sitting age! I bet a lot of old men have bitched to each other about their nagging wives while sitting on those stools and slurping down cups of black coffee.

Chooch would have been so stoked about the WIFI sign because that’s always the first thing he checks when we go to a restaurant.

Well, I think was a great lunch spot! I haven’t been to a restaurant since December (I’m still leery!) so I’m glad I broke my “eating out” strike for this place. Then, as I was about to get in my car to leave, Janna asked me some innocent question about NCT127 and it was like getting a POWER UP in Super Mario Bros. My brain, now flipping over to its Korean side, completely disregarded the original plan of “Lunch is over / get in car / drive home” and told my legs to walk back over to the sidewalk where Janna was standing.

“OK LET ME EXPLAIN HOW NCT WORKS” I said all breathily because talking about Kpop makes me get into HEAVY PANT MODE. So we were still having NCT class while all of the waitresses started to come out and leave. Then we were the only ones left in the parking lot and I’m sure Janna was like, “I WISH I HADN’T ASKED.” Lol.

OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, I just realized that I failed to check at the register for Hills merch!!!

P.S. You know what else is good on grilled cheese? HOT SAUCE.

Hello from an ice-encrusted Pittsburgh. Due to winter sucking, Henry’s job actually let everyone stay home today and Chooch got to do school remotely (COVID ruined snow days lol). Anyway, as you can imagine this has not been contributing to a calm and balanced work environment for me. It’s bad enough I have to spend my days listening to those animalistic grandkids of Henry’s next door. Apparently they have a baby gate right on the other side of the wall near where my work desk is so that is the mysterious “banging metal pipe” noise I have been hearing incessantly. I hate it so much. God help me.

Well, here are five rando’ thangs to read on this “ok” Friday. Let’s keep in short-n-sweet though. I’m ti-red.

• Henry and Chooch just came back from the post office & getting my books at the library. Henry: He’s mad because he had to carry all your books. Chooch: Yeah. I felt like a nerd. And a shut-in. #OUCH. Anyway, OMGWHICHBOOKSHOULDIREADFIRSTTTTTT?

• On Instagram last week, one of my friends was like WHAT ARE SOME GIRL-CENTRIC TOYS FROM THE 80S I AM BLANKING ON THIS and before flipping in my two cents, I scanned the other comments and was SHOCKED—nay, STUPEFIED—to see that none before me had mentioned the pre-teen jewels that were SWEET SECRETS. Or Get In Shape Girl! So I tippy-tapped my contribution with a triumphant flare. THEN several days later I was digging around in one of my millions of memento containers (you can’t tell I’m a hoarder because everything is stuffed into precious boxes and trunks) and I found this picture of me at my Pappap’s house with a tableful of Sweet Secrets! (And Pound Puppies, which had been mentioned by many in the Instagram comments.) This must have been my 7th birthday, perhaps? 1986? 1987? I can’t tell my age anymore when I look at old pictures, WHAT A PITY.
• SPEAKING OF PITY: I was friends with a girl back when I was the same age as above. She had a speech impediment and used to say “pity” instead of “pretty” so whenever she’d tell me something of mine was pretty, I thought she was degrading me. She was kind of an asshole and a bully back then, so she probably actually was degrading me, now that I think about it. Oh well. THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME, ME. That’s the title of my next imaginary children’s book. You’ll love it. It’s sold in Romania truck stops only though, sorry.
• Earlier this morning, Henry and Chooch went down the street to get coffee. Chooch asked me wanted and, with the utmost confidence, I blurted out: YES A PLAIN GIGANTIC BLACK HOT. There was a pause and then Chooch said, “That’s disgusting.”
• Oh speaking of Sweet Secrets, there was this one time when my Aunt Sharon (of the Moroccan Trip fame) bought me some new ones because I was spoiled AF but my childhood BFF Christy was with me at my Pappap’s house when this happened and Sharon, knowing Christy would be there, also bought her one too and I remember being #SoAnnoyed because that was ONE LESS FOR ME. I told Henry this story recently and his response was a deadpan, “Wow, that doesn’t sound like you at all.”

There. Five things in the bag, biotch! I’ll leave you with a compilation of Mark Lee from NCT laughing in case you are having a bad day.

When I referenced Morocco in my book post yesterday, it made me remember that I recently found some panoramic photos that I took in Tangier in the 90s. I took some GOD AWFUL pictures as a 13-year-old, and I was actually shocked that this one looked so decent! Maybe my aunt Sharon took this one, actually.

Morocco has always had a special slot in my heart, but when we first arrived there, I actually hated it. I think I was just being a bitchy, not-yet-diagnosed bipolar brat, if we’re being frank with each other here. I was an asshole pretty much during the entirety of that summer’s vacation because, and this is going to make me sound soooo Silver Spoon, but I didn’t want to go on vacation that summer because I had a crush on my MOTHERFUCKING TENNIS COACH.

I was 13! He was like 35! (I had to wait until I was 21 to finally snag my 35-year-old, LOLOL ugh wtf is wrong with me.)

So I remember being such a cunt and writing shit like I DO NOT LIKE HOW IT SMELLS HERE in my vacation journal and whining and screaming OMG WTF KIND OF BUG IS THAT and just making myself be as miserable as possible.

But then there was a cute guy working at the gift/convenience store thing attached to our hotel and he smiled at me once so then I was IN LOVE and suddenly OMG MOROCCO, I LOVE YOU! I vividly remember the song that was playing too, something reggae-ish and all I knew was that they were saying “a lalala la la” so I called it the “la la” song forever and you have to remember, this was like 1993 or 1994 and my carrier pigeon didn’t have Shazam capabilities, so I was left to hum this unknown song to myself for the rest of the trip. I’m pretty sure I even wrote about it in the postcards I was sending home to my friends, because I have always tried to drag my loved ones down into my pit of obsession.

Anyway, at some point, the details of which elude me 30 years later, I somehow learned that it was INNER CIRCLE – SWEAT and literally it’s known in parentheses as A LA LA SONG. I recently made Henry listen  to it with me and nope, does not hold up.

Inner Circle – Sweat (A La La La La Long) – YouTube

Back  to the picture though. I remember, as a 13-year-old girl, being really scared of the Casbah because the tour guide was like EVERYONE MUST HOLD ON TO EACH OTHER AS WE WALK THROUGH HERE BECAUSE SOMETIMES AMERICAN WOMEN ARE TAKEN.

But then somehow my aunt Sharon and I were chilling with a rug merchant, drinking mint tea (that’s one of the things I will never forget about Morocco – the wonderful taste of that mint tea) and bartering for a rug. I imagine we must have stopped there as an entire group because I 100% cannot imagine Globus or whoever we were traveling with being like, “Ok I know we just told you that American women are a hot commodity up in here, but please now enjoy an hour to wander unsupervised around the labyrinthian passages of the Casbah.”

I definitely posted this on here before, but here’s an AWESOME picture that Sharon took of me riding a camel. To this day, I fully believe that she cut my head off intentionally and I honestly probably deserved it. I can tell from here that those were my CHAMBRAY Keds. I was a KedHead 100% in middle school. I used to buy my Keds at Kaufmann’s! What a 1990s sentence!

You know, I was going to end this here but then I felt a surge of ambition and decided to dust off the vacation journal from 1993 and treat you with a passage. (OMG you guys will love this: In order to get my vacation journal from 1993, I had to ask Henry to open his BIG SHOT SERVICE GUY TRUNK that he gave to me to store all my diaries in (I have A LOT) and the lid thing came down and hit him in the head and knocked his glasses off and he is so mad now!! Then a few minutes later, I heard him spit into the sink and I screamed, “OMG did you just spit out a tooth??” and he barked, “NO, IT HIT ME IN THE HEAD WHERE THE MARK IS, NOT IN MY MOUTH” and it turns out he was only just brushing his teeth as he just woken up from a nap. Yes, all of this happened RIGHT WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM A NAP, RISE AND SHINE, MOTHERFUCKER.)

(Wouldn’t it be really funny if, right now, I was like, “Sorry blog friends, but on second thought, I have nothing to add from the journal after all”???)

Well, I had to skim through a lot of fatalistic woe is me nonsense, bitching about people complimenting Sharon on her “fake, decrepit tan,” and an incessant use of the word “gay” that I thankfully grew out of! And this was back when I wrote “Ha³” instead of ha ha ha because I WAS WAY TOO COOL FOR YOUR SCHOOL. Anyway, here’s a sample of a journal entry written by an entitled white 13-yo American asshole, yikes.

July 24, 1993 – Tangier

Today, we went to Malcolm Forbes’ house and toward the end of that tour, Sharon started to get to me. Then we went to the Casbah and the people there really scared me! I was gonna get my picture taken with a cobra around my neck but Sharon spoiled that. The Casbah is like a Labyrinth*. Our guide, Ishum, told us that if a man got lost, he’d be out in two days, but if a woman got lost, she’d be in there forever because a man would take her! These very persistent people were shoving merchandise in our faces. This one little boy asked me if I speak English, and then said, “Welcome to Tangier!” – how sweet! Then we went to a nice store & sat ↓, had some mint tea (umm- Morocco’s main drink) & watched a rug presentation. After about a 1/2 hour of “bartering,” we finally bought the rug for my room. The price was $650 and we got it for $320! Our guide kept whispering prices in our ears (well, Sharon’s). We were in the Casbah for God knows how long. Pappap & Grandma would NOT like it.

Sharon’s been nice to me ever since she bought my rug**. When she wasn’t gonna buy it, she said, “Do you really want it?” and I said, “No. It’s too much money. Maybe someday Pappap will come here and buy me it.” I think  that’s what did it.*** I <3 it!

* I knew how to spell this with no hesitation back then because that was one of my favorite movies

**Shouldn’t that be the other way around lol

***This tactic no longer works on Henry. I pull that shit now and he’s like “OK cool” and moves on with his day.

UPDATE: Henry has a blood blister forming on his TRUNK TRAUMA.

Oh boy, a new year, new books! I set my reading challenge to 75 for this year. I have had less time to read lately and don’t want to add unnecessary stress to my life when reading should be about joy and enrichment and not meeting some arbitrary number, amirite.

I’m going to try to keep these book wrap-ups more succinct from now on because I really fail miserably at recapping and reviewing and unless I feel some strong emotion (whether bad or good), I’m just kind of going through the motions, you know? And is it even valuable to anyone? Smrobably not! So now I’ll just leave the link to the synopsis on Goodreads and drop my rating.

Anyway, I read 10 books. Some more enjoyably than others, for fucking sure.

1. Black Girls Must Die Exhausted – Jayne Allen

Four stars! This is apparently the first book in a series so I’ll probably continue reading as others are released. Good slice of life book and the ending provided the warmth I was looking for during these frigid winter mths.

2. Not a Happy Family – Shari Lepena

ONE STAR, SK-SK-SK-SKIP IT. This is my second Lapena book and definitely MY LAST. I will not be swayed by Booktubers again! Insufferable, cardboard cut-out character. A cringefest in book-form.

Whodunnit? WHOCARES?

3. The Love Hypothesis – Ali Hazelwood

Four stars. Um. Heh heh heh. Heheheheheehehe. Romance is hit or miss with me but this was a motherfucking DELIGHT. It was so smartly written and the characters WERE EVERYTHING. LITERALLY MELTED MY SOUL.  Also, even though I’m not a scientist (I mean, I just struggled to even spell it, so…) and not in academia, the main character Olive really resonated with me in a very deep and personal way.

I did find the SEX SCENES pretty cringey but I am super hard to please (lol) in that regard so do with that what you will. But overall, I loved the story and the characters felt real.

4. Just Last Night – Mhairi McFarlane

FIVE FUCKING STARS. My only FIVE STAR read of the month, actually. And to think that I had DNF’d it several months ago, and here’s why: You know that I like to ping-pong back and forth between a physical book and an audiobook at all times right? Well, I had snagged the audio for this one on Scribd in the fall and thought it would be a good companion to take on my lunch time walks about Brookline. However! – and I feel like an asshole even admitting this – the narrator is Irish or Scottish, I dunno, and I had a really hard time understanding her thick brogue without also seeing the words in front of me. I really hate myself for saying that but there is something about all UK accents that just disagree with my brain. I had one chance in this lifetime to meet Robert Smith of the Cure, my #1 favorite singer of all time, and here I am in this small room doing a meet-n-greet with him, unable to understand anything he’s saying because of his accent.

Ugh.

But I wanted to give it another chance so I got the physical book from the library, and yo. YO. First of all, listen Lucy: any book that starts with a goddamn Pet Shop Boys quote is off to a grrrreat start. And, funnily, there were even several Cure shoutouts in this too!

I dunno how to explain what it was about this that stuck to my ribs like warm, gushy gobs of straight nostalgia, but the writing was chef’s kiss, the pop culture references were smart and snappy, the “Friend group dynamic” was everything I wish I had in my life right now. It made me think back to the days in my early 20s when I used to hang out at McCoy’s with the group of friends I had at that time (Janna is the only one of that group that I kept, everyone was all was TOXIC AF, no lost love there) but it’s not so much the memory of the PEOPLE as it is of that feeling of having somewhere familiar to go, where you walk in with all the confidence in the world because YOU’RE the regular, and these other people can step the fuck out of your way. I dunno, this book struck a chord with me and I rooted so hard for Eve.

Some of the lines in this book made me scream out loud, “I WISH I HAD WRITTEN THAT!” It’s almost like a giant long episode of Friends, but make it darker and British. I need to read every book this broad has written now.

5. Who Is Maud Dixon – Alexandra Andrews

Two stars, and I’m being generous here. WTF did I just read?? This was so implausible and not even in an entertaining way. I was excited to read it because a large portion of it is set in Morocco but it might as well have just been Iowa because I did not get any exotic Moroccan flavor from this AT ALL.

Lame.

6. With Teeth – Kristen Arnett 

A 2-star snooze.

An aside: the main character’s name is Sammie Lucas, which made me picture Sami and Lucas from Days Of Our Lives, which is probably the only positive thing I have to say about this. I read some 4- and 5-star reviews on Goodreads and heartily disagreed with each one. Book, bye. I should have DNF’d this, honestly.

7. The Manningtree Witches – A.K. Blakemore

OK, puritan historical fiction, I see you! Four stars from me! My only issue was that I did have a hard time keeping up with all of the characters but I thought this was brilliantly written and a really solid 17th century witch trial reimagining (though loosely based on actual history). Rebecca West was such a strong and vivid leading character, and I would have definitely wanted to be friends with her had I lived back then and also, thank god I hadn’t lived back then because how fucking miserable. Ugh.

And this review wouldn’t be complete without a FUCK MEN tossed in for good measure.

Wait P.S. how wonderful is that book cover? I’d like to redesign a whole-ass room using that palette, honestly.

8. New People – Danzy Senna

4 stars – strangely enjoyable yet extremely uncomfortable. Was recommended to me when I asked the library for personalized recs. Always ask your librarians, people.

P.S. This was set in 1990s NYC, which is evidently something I enjoy in books.

9. Where They Wait – Scott Carson

3 stars. Started out very strong and I thought, “Oh goodie maybe I finally found a horror novel that unsettles me” but then it got really boring and stupid 2/3 of the way through. Interesting premise though.

10. The Guncle – Steven Rowley

2 Stars. I’m definitely in the minority here but this book just didn’t do it for me. I can’t really pinpoint where it flopped for me, but it felt directionless and kind of redundant at times. It wasn’t that the writing itself was annoying, and even the characters weren’t too bad but there was some disconnect between the story and me, and I really hate that. Really bummed though because this sounded like something that could have been quirky and feel-good, but as it was, I didn’t even cry once! “You can’t spell nemesis with me, sis” is the best thing to come from the whole book.

Well, here we are, another lousy Monday. I wonder what it’s like to be that person who genuinely does not hate Mondays. Because even when my Mondays aren’t that bad, they’re still Mondays and Mondays might as well just be renamed Yuckday, you know? If we were all in first grade? Entering a contest to rename Monday?

The ration of caffeine to “everything else” in my body might be a bit skewed currently, apologies in advance.

You already know how my super exciting Saturday was so let’s dish about Sunday, a day I hate nearly as much as Mondays because I spend all day thinking about how Monday is the next day.

When I say that nearly ALL WEEKEND was spent sorting through non compos card orders and fanning myself over NCT, I truly am not exaggerating. You can ask Henry. He was here for it all.

Here is one of the cards from our scintillating serial killer Valentine line. I am sure you quite inspired to stock up.

I think one of my favorite parts of Sunday was when Henry was sitting in the dining room diligently constructing cards when 갑자기, he called out, “Is that Ten?” and when I confirmed, he said, “I could tell by his voice.” Henry is a true Kpop Dad, you guys. All the racists out there are making OH HO HO HO SO FUNNY statements about how “they” “all look the same,” and Papa Kpop over here is like I will debunk THAT stereotype with a quickness and also go to the next level with it, you bigots. 

Meanwhile, there were two white guys with beards in Emarosa that I could NEVER tell apart but I can name all 23 members of NCT so do with that what you will.

This is totally apropos of nothing but I just remembered that the other night, Henry made Chooch , who hates lasagna, lasagna for dinner and told him it was “baked pasta.” He ate the whole thing and didn’t say shit about it lol. This is honestly one of the best part of parenting; it’s so wild even after 15 years.

Since henry was so busy making cards all day (weekend), I suggested we get dinner from Mandy’s Pizza so he could have a break lol. But selfishly it was just because Mandy’s has an extensive vegan section of their menu and I am sometimes really missing the taste of pepperoni and sausage on my pizza, you know? I know you know.

We also got some mooncakes and a pandan cake from Onion Maiden because it was a real TREAT OURSELF day.

Speaking of treating myself, I fed myself from an NCT YouTube buffet and when I played Earthquake for the 87th time, this exchange happened:

Henry from the other room, mumbling, “oh. This song again.” It’s the current house anthem.

Me: What if we made a doorbell that, when pushed, projected the Earthquake track video onto the porch?

Henry: *soul leaves body*

Meanwhile, henry was bitching and moaning all day about his ICE SLIP SHOULDER. I do this thing where I act like I’m going to hug him and then I squeeze his shoulder real hard and he falls for it every time. After doing that one last time before bed, henry snapped and said, “YOU JUST CANT HELP YOURSELF CAN YOU” Looooool.

Well, that pretty much sums up my Sunday. Add in a bunch of cat & squirrel convos and you got it dude.

My current brain state has really taken to free-form, anything goes thought purges so we’re gonna keep that up because writing on here has been very therapeutic.

Also part of my therapy package was spending all Friday night doing Kpop cardio and watching hours of NCT YouTube content and laughing out loud which I hardly ever do when I’m watching things. The feeling of joy and excitement that Kpop has brought me over the last six years has been so special to me! It’s just hits different than the hysteria I used to feel over my old repertoire of bands. Like, I feel more inspired? More like I’m part of a secret society even though BTS blew the secret to smithereens?

Whenever people ask me HEY HOW’S IT GOING I always just say something generic to appease them when I really I want to blurt out OMG ITS GOING HILARIOUSLY I JUST WATCHED A 15 MINUTE VIDEO OF JAEMIN’S BRAIN BEING BUILT DIFFERENT.

God bless all the kids who put together these compilation videos so old Kpop bitches like me can laugh away another blah work week. They da real MVPs.

Lol I was jogging in place and watching YouTube when Henry came up behind me and scared the fuck out of me, like I literally jumped and spun around. “You scared me!” I screamed.

“Ugh you’re in your NCT Dream state,” Henry sighed and then mumbled, “oh my god.”

In other non-Kpop news, I’m listening to The Guncle on audio and it’s not as cute/charming/good as I expected it to be.

I sent this to my lil bro Corey and said I still can’t believe our mom ever let him in the car with me back then. He said his most vivid memory of being in my Eagle Talon is of his body pressed into the roof after leaving IKEA because I had so many boxes in the backseat, while I was flying down 376 with the windows down and cigarette smoke blowing back into his face. Big sister goals! The only difference is that my Talon had a CASSETTE PLAYER so I was definitely fumbling for a tape, not a CD lol.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CZLFGMbI4b9/?utm_medium=copy_link

Huge life update: I LEFT THE HOUSE. I mean it was just to go to Target but wow, that felt good. Fuck winter. Fuck COVID.

And now Henry is picking up delectable treats.

We are now into the late afternoon segment of Saturday. It’s been a pretty decent day! Except omg every time I pick my phone up there is another news alert about Tom Brady retiring. Like ok so GO AWAY already. Jesus.

Now we’re doing the rest of the ceiling which was supposed to be done last week but then HENRY FELL ON ICE UGH.

Oh!!! When I came back from walking to the library, I told my cat Drew that it was too cold outside and I said it in Korean without even thinking about it!!! I still suck at it though.

I like this style of blogging. Just sitting here thinking about how light and easy it feels to just open the draft and add to it as the day goes along, like an old school written journal which I used to keep but then stopped because it always got too dark LOL ugh ouch.

Have you guys seen that When We Were Young music festival that was announced last week? It makes me laugh because it’s bands that I liked in my 20s but whose median fan base were teenagers. Anyway!! There have been a plethora of Jonny Craig memes generated because of this and it’s been brightening my days because fuck that douchebag you know. Anyway, there are a good bit of bands on that roster that I loved so much back then and it almost makes me want to fly to Vegas in October to attend but I probably won’t because I’ve seen them all more times than I can count and will it really be the same?

HOWEVER. If Chiodos were to announce a full OG lineup reunion, I’d be more inspired.

But until that happens, I probably won’t be bringing back my old side part anytime soon.

Or my bleached blond and chocolate dual-toned hair lol. That was…a real LEWK as the KIDS say.

Guys here is a clip of the kdrama Our Beloved Summer where the character Ung says my favorite Korean word “kapchugi.”

You could honestly turn it into a drinking game. It’s a word that is said A LOT in dramas, almost as much as jinjja which means “really.” I taught you something.

Look who’s actually gracing us with his presence!!! ^^^^ But then he does this annoying things where he walks into the room and goes, “Is that BTS” about whatever I’m watching on TV. He’s the ultimate jerk.

Well guys. It’s been a decent day. I am capping it off with some 막걸리 & NCT content.

I lied. We’re capping off the night with more Valentine packaging.

#ThisIsMyLife

Hello from Valentine Hell! Just kidding, I love our greeting card business! I’m sitting here waiting for my cue to help with packaging etc and I am feeling v. restless so I figured, hey I will hop onto the Blog and say hello to my…fans. Lolololol.

I feel like I have been a big downer lately so I am going to one of THEM THERE mind power tricks and talk about some things that I am looking forward to or currently extracting joy from.

• Magic Spoon released two new flava flavs this week so I scooped that shit up like cat litter, bitch. Mmm coming in hot with the yummy analogies.
• I bought myself a really colorful sweater that has MONKEYS on it. It’s from ModCloth and my ModCloth experiences have been very hit or miss so I guess I’ll check back when it arrives and LET YOU KNOW if the sleeves are like, abnormal or whatnot.
• Still currently deep in the throes of my NCT love fest. I have always liked them enough to know all their names etc but over the last year, they have become solidly placed in my Top 3 faves, and they’re my #1 as far as active groups go. Luckily, they keep their fans fed with so much nutritious content that I am rarely left wanting. Shout out to Janna who endures my manic fangirling in our Kakao chat & always has the right responses, such as: they are so very talented. (Her bias is Taeil, but overall her ult bias is Mino from Winner, in case I ever host a trivia night from my Brookline shanty.)
• Oatmeal. I’ve traded in my dinner smoothie bowls for a warmer version for winter and OATMEAL IT IS. Henry bas been making some bowl bowls of it for me and now I spend all day looking forward to oatmeal-for-dinner.
• A coworker called me a quadruple threat today. I mean, I really do have as many variants as COVID.
• I’ve been choosing random travel blog posts and especially live blogs from the road to read before I go to sleep at night and that has been making me happy too. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to take some extravagant two-week overseas vacation to make good memories – sometimes driving two hours to Cleveland can be action-packed and peppered with funny road trip antics. I will actually laugh out loud sometimes reading about our old family trips.
• Henry just fell walking up the basement steps and NGL that made me laugh.
• Twinkies coffee creamer. I like it, ok?
• Margie told me at work today that spring is like 50-some days away and that seems doable. We got this, guys! Actually, I’m just happy that January is nearly over because that is historically the worst winter month for me personally. I’m already starting to feel better than I was earlier in the month, too. Less anxious. More “this too shall pass.” I even reached out to a new person at work and have been having a nice email exchange getting to know them, and it’s made me feel more like the Erin That I Used To Know. (I feel like I need to blast that Ariana Grande/Zedd song right now lolololololugh.)
• It’s supposedly going to be in the 40s several days next week so I will get to go outside and walk instead of walking in place while being frustrated that I can settle on anything to watch on Netflix.

Oh! Henry is almost ready for me to help so BYE. STAN NCT. STAN SHINEE. STAN BIGBANG. THAT’S MY NEW SIGN-OFF BECAUSE I AM 12 ON THE INTERNET.

In true fangirl fashion, here’s my current fave NCT127 song. I’ll leave you with the track video (not the full song) and also the lyric video which is the full song. Janna’s bias Taeil has some real powerful parts.

IF YOU LISTEN AND LIKE IT LET ME KNOW SO I CAN TELL THEM. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

I didn’t get Henry anything for Christmas because I had been working on a photobook compiling every selfie / picture taken of us from 2021, aka our 20th year together. *insert RETCHING sound effects* But I knew that we would have pictures from Xmas and NYE that I’d want to include, therefore, I couldn’t actually get the book printed until this month.

Therefore #2: no Xmas gift for Henry. Big sad.

So then I thought I could just keep it hidden and give it to him for V-Day, except that it was delivered & sitting on the front porch when he came home from work yesterday, in a blatant SHUTTERFLY box.

And I’m a bad actor in situations like this so instead of playing it cool, I wrenched it out of his hands and screamed.

Well, now he just won’t get anything for Valentine’s Day, haha.

DO YOU THINK HE WILL TAKE IT TO WORK AND KEEP IT ON HIS DESK? Yeah probably not.

My favorite part of this was that after I gave it to him and walked away, he said that after the initial warm fuzzies wore off he thought to himself, “Shit, another thoughtful gift that will be lorded over me” and it’s hilarious because I was thinking the same thing as I was making it!

He’ll just have to keep doing projects for me as long as I make him thoughtful gifts, it’ll be a constant passive aggressive cycle until one of us dies, I guess.

WOW ON THAT UPLIFTING NOTE, I’m going back to doing Kpop cardio. Toodleloo my boo.

I HATE WINTER. I HATE IT I HATE IT. I don’t trust people who like this shitty, depressing, bleak season. Not even taking spycam pics of Henry and HNC shoveling together has cheered me up.

It makes me feel very disoriented too, on top of everything else. Like, I know for sure it has been a big contributor to the shitty feelings I’ve been having about myself lately which is why I’m trying to just purge the thoughts on here and then hope for a better day. There’s a thing I like to tell myself that I totally made up on my own and it’s called THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Literally coined that phrase. You heard it here first folks. Like & subscribe for a chance to win an embroidery of that shit.

I also hate winter because when it snows like this, or drops below 25 degrees, my daily walks get completely hijacked. And we all know I am a person of perpetual routine so even that small change is enough to knock my mental orbit off course.

So I have been doing lots of walking workouts and also walking/jogging in place while watching Netflix but then I can never find anything that holds my attention!

Here are some things I liked recently, so please help me find new shows:

• Archive 81
• Maid

Lol ok aside from kdramas, I think that’s it! I need shows that are less than an hour per episode to watch before work while steady jogging, and kdramas are usually like 90 minutes an episode – I need to watch those at night under a blanket on the couch!

I started to watch The Serpent but wasn’t feeling it.

Ugh.

I want to watch Anxious People but have to watch it with Henry since we both read the book.

I need a good, solid CW show like In the Dark.

in other EVERYTHING SUCKS news, Henry slipped on ice and hurt his dumb shoulder AND BUTT lol which sucks for me because he was almost done with the ceiling project but now that’s on hold until he’s able to hold his arm above his head again. Ugh to the max!!!

So, life currently is just: wake up, eat breakfast, find a way to numb the mind while accumulating at least 6,000 steps before it’s time to log on to work at 9, work, dinner, exercise, kdrama or rollercoaster videos.

Sigh.

I was determined to leave the house on Sunday, even if it was just a trip to Target, but then it SNOWED ALL DAY.

So as of this writing, it’s been over a week since I’ve been out in civilization. No wait!!! I went to the library on Saturday. But my security guard friend Robert wasn’t there so I just popped in, grab my holds, self-checked out and that was that. I like when Robert is there because he says nice things like ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, ERIN and it makes me feel SEEN you know? I have lived in Brookline since 1999 but never became a townie so Robert is the only one ’round these parts who knows me by name.

I wish I was the type of person who could just lean into winter weather and veg out on the couch with some wine and Kardashians (I dunno is that still a popular show for normal ppl??) and not give a shit about anything other that maximizing the cozy levels. But I can literally only do that if I have a fever :( (I mean, minus the Kardashian part.)

DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE U R STUCK ON THE PHONE WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

Oh!! Here’s a good thing that you have to pretend to care about to make me feel good: NCT127 won the Daesang award at the 2022 Seoul Music Awards, and that is the TOP AWARD. I am so proud of them!! I spent most of the weekend with their videos etc on in the background and I feel so inspired and motivated to whip out my credit card and buy the best ticket if they ever fucking announce a North American tour. I told Henry and he just nodded and whispered, “I know.” He won’t/can’t stop me either!! Imagining the possibility of seeing them this year actually fills me old school butterflies and it is great to be reminded that I still have some youth left in me.

Ideally, I wish SM would send the entire NCT conglomerate on tour so we could get all the subgroups on one stage, omg I would pay so much hard-earned money on that.

OK, I have to go and help Henry package the piles of Valentines that are currently accumulating on the dining room table. I’ll try to conjure more content for the rest of the week. I might have to tap into one of my alter egos, though, lol ugh oof.

Reporting live from a boring Saturday in Pittsburgh. Henry left a million hours ago to take Chooch to work and get more fluff for the ceiling project and has not yet returned so I’ve just been sitting here reading (just started “New People” – Danzy Senna) with boy Kpop videos on in the background.

And my cat Penelope is sprawled across me quite uncomfortably.

Anyway, I got some new Hipstamatic sets that I wanted to try out so I took some selfies because that’s just what people do, ok.

I really like this one because I went through a heavy phase in like, 2007 where I was very into this editing effect on my “real” photos. (Real as in, back when I actually used by DSLR on the regular and gave a shit about photography.)

This new film/lens set makes my skin look rough AF but I still like the moodiness of it.

Signature pose. What you can’t see in the background is how absolutely trashed the dining room is since it’s being used 24:7 as our Valentine card studio. I love our busy season but the mess that comes with it really makes me anxious. If we ever buy a house (Henry was just suggesting it again today but I panicked and said NO NOT YET lol), we need an extra room to make cards in, for real.

YES SO PRESH. THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY.

I can’t remember where these sunglasses turned up (I think Chooch found them?) but I’m so glad that I still have these Versace sunglasses. My aunt Sharon bought them for me when we were in Italy in 1996 because I was O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with Versace. If I’m remembering correctly, it likely had something to do with Foxy Brown, who was my fucking idol back then. So because Foxy Brown liked Versace, I did too. I can still vividly remember my BFF Lisa calling me in July of 1997 to tell me that Gianni Versace had been murdered, and I slid down the wall of my parent’s laundry room, phone cord wrapped around me, wailing NOOOOOOOO. I was wrecked.

In a recent meeting at work, Betty White’s death was brought up, and some people were sharing celebrity deaths that really affected them, and I was going to mention this but honestly I just have don’t the energy to talk in the damn video calls anymore.

It was bad enough that I had to do a MEET & GREET on Thursday with a new person that just started in my old group, but my former manager Amber did a really good job teeing me up so I actually said facts about myself without sounding winded and hyper, like I was being chased by Leatherface. I’m trying really hard to avoid medication but I’m starting to think that I might have to succumb to some kind of anti-anxiety drug here at some point because I shouldn’t be downing a shot of soju before a meeting to calm my nerves??? That’s not normal, I don’t think. (LOL JK I WOULD NEVER HA HA HA.)

Anyway, I’m glad these glasses made it through three moves since 1996 because I appreciate them more now that I’m a grown-up and it’s funny to me that 90s fashion is now trendy again so I won’t get to rock these ironically since it will just look like they’re new. I wish I still had all of my old cropped fuzzy sweaters. I actually just texted my mom to see if I left any clothes at her house when I moved out in 1998 and she said SHE WILL LOOK.

Oh, Henry finally came home BTW. Now he’s making me oatmeal for dinner and telling me to stop calling our cat Drew “PJ Chuckles” even though that’s one of her names, but OK, cook on, mothercheffer.

For this installment of Friday Five, here are five things I found in the attic several weekends ago when we were cleaning it out only to never return because it has been too fucking cold.

1. A Whole Bunch of Australian Boarding Passes, etc.

First of all? Literally do not remember my flights being on Air New Zealand?? But seeing “Century Travel” printed on that ticket brought me WAY back to sitting in the travel agency inside of Century III Mall with my mom, who told me on the way there that she was only going to help me if I LIED to the travel agent and said I needed to go to Canberra for a wedding and not a concert, because the truth was “soooo embarrassing.” Um, ok?

I also remember being a nervous wreck on that flight to Sydney, not because I was scared of flying (that psychological affliction wouldn’t come into play until a year later, after 9/11) but because I was so panicked about seeing the Cure and frantic to find a way to meet them.

(SPOILER ALERT: I met them.)

(It’s actually amazing how impactful this one-week period in my life turned out to be.)

2. BUT WHO TOOK THIS PICTURE?

OK, based on my hair, this was the fall of 1998, and Lisa and I were certainly at a haunted house, and these were definitely guys we must have befriended in line, but I don’t really remember? I think this could have been at Allen’s Haunted Hay Ride?

(Hey Erin, why not grab your old haunted house journals and check, that’s what they’re for, you know.) Actually, I think I kind of remember them, and one of them saying, “Whatever sinks your ship” in response to one of us saying “Whatever floats your boat”??? Also, why am I looking at them with such gross adoration?

But really, I want to know who took this picture.

Also, I don’t remember my hair being that curly. I thought I usually straightened it back then??

Also x2 I fucking loved that pleather jacket so much. It was from Contempo!!!

Sometime this weekend, I will peruse the ol’ haunted house journals and report back with THE DEETS. Maybe I’ll even TRANSCRIBE the whole sordid write-up. We’ll see how bored I am.

3. Before There Were Smartphones…

I used to scribble things that I wanted to blog about (back in the LiveJournal days!) on whatever scrap of paper I could find. When I stumbled upon this in the attic, I screamed because I totally remember what all these things reference: It was the spring of 2004 and these were things that happened while Henry and I were walking in one of the cemeteries on the Northside and Henry gave me the NOW INFAMOUS “moss is bad” speech, which my friend Alyson and I still reference and crack up over TO THIS DAY. Also, I remember wanting that sandwich (I think I was on the phone with Christina when I decided I needed this sandwich and wrote it down as a command for Henry, who dutifully went to Fredo’s in Dormont and procured said roasted veg sandwich for me.

The way I remember the most useless things, though…

4. MY PHIL COLLINS CONCERT PROGRAM!!

This is pretty self-explanatory but when Henry held it up from his corner of the attic, I screamed because obviously seeing Genesis in December had opened the floodgates of Phil Collins concert memories, and I could not for the life of me remember what happened to that program, and had figured I probably just never brought it with me when I moved out of my parents’ house in 1998.

Also, look at all the junk in the background! I swear we’re not hoarders. A good chunk of the stuff in the attic was all baby shit (a Pack-n-Play, stroller, etc) that we kept “just in case,” even though I was certain from the moment of THE C-SECTION that I was one-n-done, my friends. So, most of that stuff is now officially out of the attic. We still have a long way to go, though, because Henry has so many computer parts and other assorted accessories up there, and you can’t just throw that shit away. Plus, I have a TON of VHS tapes. So we have to find somewhere to donate those, at some point, ugh. Cleaning is so boring.

5. GAMEBOY PRINTER, ANYONE? 

I can’t even remember ever using this, yet here it is in my possession. I was hoping that maybe this was something that had turned into a hot commodity over the years, but according to eBay, these things are a dime a dozen. So now it went from cluttering the attic to cluttering my bedroom.

So, these are five things found during round 1 of Operation Attic Purge. Also found: literally like 4 boxes of letters from my penpals, such as my prisoner pen pal Aaron who used to complain to me about his baby mamas and then one day CONFESSED THAT HE LOVED ME and Henry was like, “Oh boy, took him long enough.

” He might be out of jail at this point. He didn’t kill anyone, just shot some guy in the ass.