When we registered for the Morey’s Piers Coastin’ By the Ocean event last spring, we knew that we wanted to stay near the boardwalk but it was also extremely hard to find anything with reasonable rates since we were booking that close to the start of the summer season.

But then I (yes, t’was I, the one that Henry never lets anywhere near the booking process) found one that wasn’t too exorbitant (I mean, it wasn’t cheap either but you don’t go to Wildwood without expecting to pay those beach rates). And it just so happened that it was directly across from the pier where we needed to register at 9am Saturday morning.

You.Are.Welcome.

I thought it was ok! I mean, it’s no Olympic but we went through this last year too. So, you know. Expectations were low.

But Henry immediately bonded with the owner, probably because he had tons of Pro-Police propaganda pasted up around the office, which caused Henry to nose-dive into his WHITE KNIGHT armor as soon as I pointed this out in a disparaging tone.

Honestly, we were only there to crash for a bit during the afternoon in between coaster schedules and to sleep.

I liked that there was a live DJ at the pool too. Not that I went anywhere near the pool with my body dysmorphia, but it was comforting to listen to all the people splashing around and having fun while we recharged in our room that afternoon.

Also, you can see the boardwalk from our door!

Also, the proprietor let Henry stay parked in the lot before we checked in on Saturday and after we checked out on Sunday after Henry explained to him that we were still going to be on the boardwalk for the event.

What a nice guy (except for the BLUE LIVES bullshit)!

Good job finding this place, me!

You guys! Baby’s First Coaster Enthusiast Event! I was so giddy when we strode right past the “SURFSIDE PIER IS CLOSED FOR A PRIVATE EVENT” sign with the air of people who BELONG and went to the guest services counter to register. I couldn’t have imagined any place better to attend our first coaster event than at my beloved Morey’s Piers! I had watched some videos from coaster YouTubers who attended this event in the past and it just looked so cool and casual.

Immediately, one of the Morey’s guys called out to me from behind the counter, “Are you the reason I keep seeing those shirts all over the Internet?” and I was like, “I HAVE BEEN SEEN BY A MOREY’S PERSONNEL!!

” He was so cool too!

Then I noticed right next to us was a coaster vlogger whom I follow on Instagram and sometimes watch his videos so I had to elbow Henry and he was like, “Ok. Cool.”

Anyway, here was the agenda!

So the reason why this is so cool is that the piers don’t officially open to the general public until noon (Adventure Pier opens at 2pm) so from 9:30 to noon on Saturday, we had free reign of the rides listed up there for special ERT (early ride time / exclusive ride time).

We were the first train of the day on the Great Nor’easter – a trainful of true thoosies! It was a really cool experience because, and I mean this in the best way possible since I’m talking about myself also, but to be a true coaster thoosie, you gotta be a little bit psycho! So imagine a trainful of us assholes, totally screaming our lungs out and just LIVING FOR IT.

And goddammit, this is STILL the best Vekoma SLC IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Literally the ONLY one worth re-riding. Morey’s Piers puts so much TLC into their rides and piers, and their ride operators are just TOP NOTCH – it really elevates the experience.

Oh I should mention that last year, Henry didn’t get a wrist band (we weren’t there for the event last year, this was just a regular day) so the only things he rode was the Great White once and the carousel once. This time, he got to ride everything!

I kept calling Dante’s Dungeon “Dante’s Inferno,” which IS a ride but just…not one at Wildwood. Chooch mocked me which is basically his sole purpose in life these days.

I love love love me a darkride.

Chooch was “not scared” at the real life person who comes after you at the end. They totally got me, though!

Runaway Tram is such a fun family coaster! You would never know it by Henry’s stoic stance.

Now, brace yourselves for a series I like to call Before the Tilt-a-Whirl Tilted and Whirled Our Breakfast.

Me, on the cusp of realizing that Chooch is taking bursts.

Me, starting to sense that something is wrong.

Me, desperately asking for my phone back.

WHY DOES HE TROLL ME SO HARD I HATE IT.

Chooch and I went back for more Nor’easter rerides before ERT ran out.

We walked right onto the front, and then they let us re-ride on any unoccupied row of our choosing and the backrow was open so we snagged it! I realized that the front is waaaay rougher/more intense than the back. The back is where you want to sit to get a nice, smooth ride where you can walk off without your brain feeling scrambled!

Gathering our bearings after a ride on It, which is like the Claw ride that is so ubiquitous in traveling carnivals. It’s fun but WHOOO BOY between that and the Tilt-a-Whirl all before 11am, it was a bit much for me and my baby stomach.

OK, that made me sound like I was alluding to pregnancy. That ain’t it.

Um, OK Boardwalk King.

This was before my WHERE IS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT, YOU PROMISED ME THAT I WOULD GET MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT IN WILDWOOD / lack of sleep / probably a bit of dehydration breakdown that would happen later that evening. Who, me? Throw a temper tantrum? Pfft, never.

The last thing we did for this portion of the ERT was the Zoom Phloom which we didn’t ride last year and I can’t remember why now – either it wasn’t running or we just didn’t care?? But I am here to tell you that if you are a log flume aficionado, and even if you’re NOT, do not skip out on this. First of all, don’t worry about getting drenched. I mean, yeah, you’re gonna get a little wet but not like, excessively so. Plus, if you’re on the boardwalk in the summer, your ass is gonna dry up REAL QUICKLIKE.

But look, this log flume has an amazing layout where it weaves around and interacts with the waterpark slides and the Great Nor’easter. It’s REALLY cool in that way. And after one of the drops, it literally puts you through a tunnel under the boardwalk while UNDER THE BOARDWALK plays around you! It’s not the Bruce Willis version sadly (aka the BEST version) but it’s so wonderful, nevertheless.

I couldn’t stop gushing about this!

Then at noon, everyone gathered for a group picture.

Numerous shots were taken and I have been OBSESSIVELY checking the Morey’s Piers socials but nothing has been posted yet. I am desperate for a copy of this picture because if you know me, you know that I love being a part of a group and even though I hate having my picture taken, I am ALL ABOUT THE GROUP PHOTOS.

We had a bunch of free time after that, which I loved because I would have been sad if we were back in Wildwood with no time to soak up all the boardwalk vibes.

I didn’t get any Polish Water Ice last year and it was on my agenda this time around because I had a vague memory of Kennywood possibly offering something like this back in the 80s, to the point where I could imagine how this was going to taste and it was 100% the same as in my taste buds’ imagination! Henry and I shared this because even though I always think that I can house something all on my own, chances are my belly will step up and remind me of my limits.

Random Henry Shot.

Chooch passed on the water ice and opted instead for boba.

We went to a really sad arcade inside the Boardwalk Mall. It was…really sad but also full of character. The elderly lady running the place seemed like a true Boardwalk installation. Someone came to visit her, presumably her daughter (?) and brought their dog, who the elderly lady later told us was named Boardwalk Bob. I LOVED THIS WHOLE PORTION OF THE DAY.

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GOD LOVE HER.

PROTECT THIS BOARDWALK BROAD.

Well, I think I will end the first portion of day 1 here.

Jumping out of order here, but on our way home from New Jersey, we stopped at Hershey Park for a do-over of our 2021 trip which was actual madness. This time, it wasn’t nearly as crowded (that is to say, we didn’t need to splurge on Fast Lane or whatever they call their fast pass) but I still walked away from the park with a not-so-sweet taste in my mouth. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it just feels so overrated to me?? Am I wrong?? Clearly, every other thoosie out there will excommunicate me from the club if they knew my opinion.

Anyway, I’ll just post some pictures and a few bulletpoints because we were only there from around 11:30 to 5:00 and nothing super memorable happened except for hating the family behind us on the walk to the gate, with a mom who kept gushing over her son toddler-ish Logan. “LOGAN, HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE??” she screamed at one point, to which Chooch tossed a disinterested glance over his shoulder and mumbled, “He’s really not, though.”

• Chooch managed to get all of his missing coaster creds, except for COCOA CRUISER which we didn’t even know existed until several days later. It’s the kiddie coaster and I have no idea where it is in the park because Hershey is a clusterfuck to navigate. I am not going back for him to obtain this credit until they get an RMC, which RUMOR HAS IT will be happening next year. Literally the only way Hershey will ever get me to come back, unless I come across free passes. Then, maybe.

• In line for Storm Runner, which was quite controversially closed when we were there last year and I had super high expectations for this Intamin, but after it cruised back into the brake run, all I could say was, “That was it?” AM I TOO PICKY NOW?? Am I a coaster hipster?! I felt the same way about Fahrenheit, which was also closed last year. These two were my most anticipated and I was really disappointed by both.

• I will say though that the retheming of their standard, run-of-the-mill Vekoma boomerang is really fun though. It’s now themed after Jolly Ranchers and before each cycle, the lights in the station change and land on whichever flavor you’re gonna get. And by that, I mean that they built a tunnel that emits SCENTS when the coaster goes through it, so it’s supposed to stink like whatever color you get. Ours was green apple (ugh) and it didn’t really smell like it, but it was still a fun experience. Also, we waited in line for at least 45 minutes which I would never do for any old Boomerang.

• Are you all Jolly Rancher’d out yet? BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL…
  • We got some Jolly Rancher sorbet. It was ok! Ironically, I liked the green apple best because the texture was like a sweet cloud lol.

• We rode Skyrush and it was less painful for me this time. Henry didn’t ride it last year and thought I was exaggerating about the painful restraints (it has the nickname ThighCrush because of it!) but when we were standing in line, he started seeing girls getting off the ride with red welt across their thighs. MMHMM!!! I was so worried about self-stapling during the ride that I couldn’t enjoy myself. Rollercoasters should not be so painful that you have to watch How To Not Get Stapled on Skyrush videos on YouTube. Ridiculous.
• The only ride there that I truly love and do not mind waiting in line for is the B&M invert, Great Bear. This ride is so great! But because it’s my favorite, Chooch was a big baby about getting into line because it was “too long.” It wasn’t any longer of a wait than that damn boomerang but OK SON. So then Henry was all, “I’ll ride it with you, please don’t throw a fit!” But by that time, Chooch had decided to be a martyr and also got in line so we ended up all riding it – yay, I win! In line, some kid had his hands up and out the entire time, waiting for someone to high five him but I watched him cough and sneeze into his hands and then wipe his nose with them too so NOPE. I’M GOOD. Also, a little girl got her legs stuck in the queue fence so that was exciting too. Really fun and entertaining line!

• Fighting in line.

• I just really love Great Bear so much. From the moment it started, I could feel the smile on my face and when I looked at the on-ride photo afterward, I looked SO CONTENT. Chooch and I actually had identical smiles on our precious faces and Henry just looked like Henry: unamused, having zero ounces of fun.

• Then we had to spend an obnoxious amount of time at this stupid game, waiting for the ONE KID WORKING to NOTICE US, SEMPAI and give Chooch the fucking basket of balls that he paid for but instead, he kept getting snagged by all the bitchy soccer moms wanting to exchange the stuffed animals their kids won for OTHER COLORS. Oh my god, give me a break. And the lady next to us must have spent $100 on her three sons just in the amount of time we were there and Henry spat, “THOSE KIDS ARE SPOILED.” Sing it, Henry.

• Finally got his basket of balls after I leaned across the counter and yelled, “EXCUSE ME” like a fucking no-good Karen but look, I was trying to LEAVE this park OK and the only thing standing between me and the exit was this dorky teenaged worker and his inability to multi-task.
  • All of that, and Chooch lost bigly.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Great Bear
• Chooch getting his creds that he missed last year
• The bucket of chocolate chip cookies Henry bought on the way out

LOWLIGHTS:

• That fucking game
• Candymonium being down on our way out of the park

MIDLIGHTS:

• Everything else

Am I a hater?!!? I literally can’t tell. Hershey seems like the fucking DARLING PARK for all enthusiasts out there and maybe I need an official invitation to the Hershey circle jerk, but I just don’t get it? The coaster line-up isn’t *that* great, IMO. Am I being super unreasonable here?! Basically, in that amount of time, we rode 5 coasters. We didn’t even bother walking over to the side of the park where Wildcat (RIP) is even though I would have liked to have ridden Lightning Racer again because that was one of the coasters that I truly enjoyed when we visited in 2021, but at that point, I just wanted to complete the ERRANT COASTER CREDS mission and go the hell home.

We had so much fun riding coasters all weekend but the thing living rent-free in my mind right now is all the glorious boardwalk pizza we devoured. Last year, we only had Mack’s pizza and I was totally sold on the hype. (Chooch went rogue that year and had Hot Spot though and loved it which doesn’t surprise me because Hot Spot is totally amazing, although when I used to eat there with my fam as a kid, I don’t think I ever had pizza – I feel like it was always a hot dog??)

Anyway, if you don’t know this about Wildwood, there is a long-running debate over who has the best pizza and the two that have garnered the most popular votes are Mack’s and Sam’s. I was determined to try a slice from each this time to see where my allegiance lies.

We stopped at Mack’s first on Saturday for a lunchtime slice. Last year, I had a slice of white pizza and still maintain that it was the best goddamn slice of white I’ve ever masticated in my whole entire life.

But this year, I wanted to go the olive route because that is my go-to topping like, when I die, if you feel so inclined to visit my grave, forget the flowers just bring a fistful of black olives to sprinkle on my tombstone.

Hoo-boy, Mack’s did not let me down. I was scared that last years’ experience was a fluke, but Mack’s secured their spot in my pizza palate for the second year in a row. I can’t explain it, but it’s the thinness that I love, a sweet-ish sauce, and SUPER GREASY. I love a greasy slice, I can’t help it.

Chooch was like, “It’s ok,” about his plain piece, because he rarely gets stoked for anything anymore (at least, not when he’s with his PARENTS).

I dunno even know what Henry got. Sausage probably. He liked it.

Almost immediately, we walked down to Sam’s for slice #2 (I wish I could say we ate our way down the boardwalk, but I know my finicky digestive system and gave myself a two-slice limit, sigh). Sam’s is much bigger than Mack’s and feels less intense – it’s hard to explain but with Mack’s you have to kind of shoulder your way past the crowded counter to the very small dining area and then you have pay cash after you order and I always feel panicked like we’re going to mess it up or something??

But Sam’s is larger and has a huge dining area, and it just felt way more calm somehow. Mack’s is CHAOTIC but so worth it.

Right off the bat, Sam’s lost points because they don’t have black olives as a topping. I got a slice of plain which was fine. I think though that I expected it to be difficult to choose which place I liked better, but I knew without a doubt as soon as I took the first bite:

It’s Mack’s for me, fam.

Look, I’m not going to hate on Sam’s because that pizza was fine! If I hadn’t already experienced the sweet, greasy glory that is Mack’s, I would have been completely satisfied with Sam’s. It was like your standard quick lunch fare, comparable to pizza I’ve had at various amusement parks.

But because I’ve had Mack’s and know of the super serious age-old MACKS v. SAMS competition, I was actually floored that anyone would choose Sam’s. I said this to Henry in my fanatical UP IN ARMS manner and he hesitated, like maybe he wanted to choose Sam’s but was scared??

Chooch opted out of second lunch, making me feel like a glutton. But he did try a bite of Henry’s and was not impressed because he’s suddenly a pizza snob.

However, he and Henry both had a slice much later that night at Olympic Flame, which was chosen on a whim. I noticed that they had a framed certificate in the front declaring them the 2022 winner of the best pizza award. Mu curiosity was piqued but I had too much cheese for one day and instead ordered a kalamata olive pita which was DELICIOUS, might I add. But don’t worry – that didn’t stop me from trying some of Henry’s green pepper slice and OK, Olympic Flame. I see you. That was a FINE SLICE, indeed, and in my opinion, worthy of that highest honor piece of paper.

It wasn’t as thin or as greasy as Mack’s, but still had a sweet-ish sauce, and the crust was sooooo soft and not the opposite of dry (M O I S T). I was a believer. Did I like it more than Mack’s? I DON’T KNOW! Probably not. I need to go back again next year and eat nothing but pizza. For science.

Chooch had been going on all weekend about the “corner piece” he saw but couldn’t remember where. We kepy saying, “You mean square slices?” and he would just say, “Corners.

” Um, OK. He kept running up to every place we walked by in order to ogle the pizzas at the counter, until he finally found his coveted corners at Franconi’s.

The corners in question.

Here he is on the move with his piping hot corner which he declared the winner. I tried a bite, much to his infernal resistance and disgust, and it was pretty good! I think I would rank it right below Olympic Flame and much higher above Sam’s. I think now I just want to hate Sam’s on principal. Like, what kind of person actually thinks Sam’s is the best, I’m so confused about this!

“You like Sicilian pizza, then,” Henry said to Chooch.

“No, I like corners,” Chooch argued.

“Yes, Sicilian,” Henry pushed, and really, why do we set ourselves up for this frustration?? We should know by now that you literally cannot tell Chooch anything without him turning into Riley, Riley, Quite Contrary. Disagreeing with us is what gives him life, I’m convinced.

It’s now Tuesday and they’re still arguing about Sicilian pizza.

“I used to like Sicilian pizza a lot when I was a kid,” Henry mused on our nightly walk and I called him a cunt because I had no other response.

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I gotta get back to Wildwood next summer because now I regret not also trying a slice at Hot Spot, ughhh. And if you’re wondering why I didn’t have any on Sunday, it’s because I had a boardwalk smoothie bowl for lunch (listen Linda, I love me a fucking smoothie bowl and I had to put a moratorium on the grease intake until an hour later when I had some Curley’s fries.

Vacation, amirite. Now I’m back on that oatmeal and exercise grind!

Sigh.

Yo yo yo. Here I am, Erin-Not-Kelly, coming at you live with some updates from the road. It’s 6:12p currently and we are finally on our way back to Pittsburgh after a weekend full of coasters and cry-babying (I didn’t get enough sleep ok??).

We went to Six Flags Great Adventure yesterday after leaving Morey’s Piers and had our best visit yet – it was actually absurd how good it was. I’ll recap that in full later but just to show you how much of a blast we had marathonning El Toro at the end of the night, here’s what my elbow looked like this morning:

I’m glad it’s just a bruise because I was worried that I actually chipped my elbow bone lol ugh.

We stayed in a Hampton in Horsham (LOLOL) PA which is near Doylestown which is where Anthony Green from Circa Survive lives! I know, you’re really fascinated by that. Anyway though the hotel was actually quite decent.

I wanted to go for a walk while Chooch was showering because I’m in this Workweek Hustle FitBit challenge and since I got late start this morning, I was in last place (gasp!). So we told Chooch we were doing this and Henry also grabbed most of our bags while he was at it since we were going outside. The walk itself was uneventful, but when we got back to the hotel, we ran into Chooch in the lobby, holding a plate of breakfast in one hand, a yogurt stick in his mouth, and his carry-on in his other hand, looking utterly lost. He thought we checked out I guess because he wasn’t paying attention to us as usual. He said he got everything out of the room but Henry was like I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT and went back up. He left his Holiday World Voyage shirt and a brush there, plus Henry said the shower wasn’t even turned all the way off.

“It was like he killed someone and ran,” Henry muttered when he came back down, tossing Chooch’s shirt at his face.

So surly.

The breakfast buffet had little cornbread bars which was a nice surprise. I love cornbread unless it’s bad cornbread. This wasn’t the best but it was MOIST and more like a cornbread cupcake tbh.

Then we left for Hershey Park and I will obviously write about that later DON’T YOU FRET, but I will give you a bigly spoiler and say that it was another U G H experience there – not as bad as last year but meh enough that I will not be going back unless the RMC rumor is true because at this point it will take a RMC to motivate me. I just don’t think the coaster lineup there is worth the hype. Is it just me?! Because it seems like it’s just me. I like ONE COASTER there enough to willingly stand in line for it and it’s not even one of the ones all the enthusiasts circle-jerk around (Great Bear, if you’re wondering).

We did go to the Hershey Chocolate Experience thing afterward though to get some gifts for Blake since he checked in on our cats three times in the last month-ish. Chooch and I did the Chocolate ride while Henry shopped. This ride has better ops than any ride in the actual park, IMO.

And now we’re on our way home. I am so tired!! I think being an Old Person is finally starting to affect me. I woke up with a headache Sunday and today.

(Lol Henry just turned up the radio because Saturday Drip – NCT Dream came on and that is his BOP.)

We just stopped at a rest area with a 7-Eleven and it was the most chaotic we’ve been as a family unit in quite some time. We kept slamming into each other and openly bickering and then I got hit with a wave of drowsiness so great that it made me crash into a display of sunglasses (only one fell off thank god) and then when the cashier asked Henry if he wanted a bag, he said NOOOOOOOoooooooo like she tried to hand him herpes and I appreciate his environmental love even if it was performative but the way he said that really bugged me so I spat, “Why did you say it like that??”

“I can say it however I want,” he shout back with a haughtiness that didn’t sit well with me AT ALL and the cashier CHUCKLED so now she can get fucked too.

Now Chooch, he is still pouting because Starbucks was closing right when we got there, is doubly-pouting because he wishes he had got a hoodie in Wildwood – this after just bitching because he can’t feel the a/c in the backseat – and it reminded me that I got a Wildwood sweatshirt so now I’m wearing it.

“Wow you’re so cool,” Chooch mumbled. Lololol.

Buying this yesterday was a whole ass experience. I don’t feel like getting into it right now though.

I don’t know why this trip feels so much more exhausting than others since we we’ve only been gone since Friday night but when I say I am wiped out, I truly mean it. Saturday and Sunday were both exceptionally long & action-packed days. Good god.

But now we only have 90 more minutes until hooooooome!

Hello from Wildwood! We got in around 7a after a night of very little sleep – the hotel was fine but I kept waking up because I was straight freezing and CHOOCH was on a call with MEXICO SQUAD until the wee hours so that kept waking me up too.

Too early to check-in, so we parked near our hotel (Island Breeze) which is right across from Surfside Pier so super convenient since that’s where the Coastin’ By the Ocean event registration and ERT was happening from 9a-12p.

So we used our free time to get breakfast at Andy’s (we all got an omelette variation and I had immediately regertz because I had been heavily leaning toward a waffle but then Chooch ordered first and got a spinach and feta omelette so then I thought IS IT SAVORY FOR ME TOO? and changed my order to a mushroom omelette at the final hour and I shouldn’t have done that).

Then we just walked around until it was time to check in to the Coastin’ By the Ocean enthusiast event. More later!

Henry doing the bare minimum, FYI.

Yo yo yo we’re currently en route to Wildwood and I’m not doing a TRADITIONAL LIVEBLOG but here are some PICTURES.

Chooch has been into reading again ever since Mexico (thank you to his new friends for inspiring him to read again! He’s currently reading Bullet Train (Bad Bunny is evidently in the movie and Chooch’s “Mexico Squad” are obsessed with him so I assume this is what instigated his desire to read the book?) and is having such a good time with it that’s he’s intermittently cracking up in the backseat and has already rated it 5 stars on Goodreads even though he’s only 1/3 done.

Meanwhile I’m reading this which is blah:

Stopped at the same rest area in Bedford where we ran into Bridget last fall!

There’s a cool wall of Turnpike artifacts that I never bothered to look at until today.

I thought they were CHEERSing their Starbucks but I dunno what was actually happening.

Also it annoys me that anytime Chooch GRUDGINGLY lets me have a sip of his drinks, he immediately gropes for a napkin to wipe off the lid. Dude, I’m your MOTHER?!

We are currently driving thru the stinkiest stretch of Pennsylvania, holy fucking shit.

At another rest stop. This guy is stocking the pastry shelf and HIS GIRLFRIEND JACKED HER FINGER UP TODAY REAL GOOD BUT SHE WON’T GO TO THE DOCTOR.

Omg another rest stop!

I dunno why this is so funny to me but Chooch obv. does not agree.

Trying to get a picture of the super moon that’s been evading him all night.

We’ll be at our hotel in Somewhere, NJ in about 20 minutes (11pm) and then tomorrow we’ll have another hour to drive before WILDWOOD so I am signing off now byeeee.

On the way back to Alyson’s, she asked me to put on Taemin and I was like OMG GLADLY. You guys, no one has requested that I put on kpop before so this was…it was just a good feeling. I felt truly happy and seen! And then back at Alyson’s, I unboxed everything and she was like WHO DID YOU GET? because photocard anticipation is contagious!

I was really just in the most happiest zone all weekend, I swear to G-Dragon.

Later that afternoon, it was ICE CREAM TIME. We drove across the border to Massachusetts for some homemade Dr. Davis Ice Cream.

And then Ryan got a banana split which made me have major ordering remorse because maybe it was actually a sundae that I was craving after all?? UGH I should have made Henry order a SUNDAE!!

Henry ended up getting pineapple coconut or something and it tasted fine but it didn’t HIT my SPOT. Maybe he planned it that way so I wouldn’t be stealing bites?? But then he went back and got a second scoop of butter rum or something, I can’t remember but it was definitely a nursing home flavor and also, it was delicious.

In my zone, my ice cream zone.

Alyson, looking for frogs.

I love this picture because Henry looks like he’s hoping to be abducted by orchard aliens, like, “GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLZ, I’LL TAKE ANAL PROBES ANYDAY OVER THIS LOG PHOTO SHOOT.”

Did somebody say….”individually-wrapped prunes??”

Muskrat Watch.

(Also this is how I learned that in Alyson’s region of America, groundhogs are called woodchucks! I never knew they were the same thing!

I so badly want this to be a Ludacris-branded Honeycrisp.

Ryan was taking pictures of a butterfly so then I had to do it too because I’m a follower.

We walked so much! I appreciated that they knew I needed steps and placed me in a scenario where I could achieve my goal. And also that they’re both FitBit users as well and understand the compulsion of counting steps. I love being outside so much and this was such a nice vibe. We did lose Ryan for an extended amount of time though because we got sidetracked by MUSKRAT WATCH.

By the time we made it back to the parking lot, the actual farm store had closed and we were the only car in the lot.

Then it was CEMETERY TIME, which I already posted about and a quick tour of downtown Nashua, where I learned that this fancy restaurant used to be a whore house:

…and that Stephen Tyler’s mom is in a nearby nursing home and he’s sometimes spotted around town!

Eventually, it was time to say goodbye since Alyson’s work days start really early and we had a long drive ahead of us the next day. It was so hard to leave though! Relaxing on their back porch & chatting was so much fun and it really sucks that there is nearly 10 hours of driving time between us. I hope it’s not another nine years before we get to see each other again!

I feel really #blessed that I got to see Bill and Jessi, and Alyson and Ryan, all in the same month. They are all on my very short list of favorite people. Thank you for making time for us, Alyson and Ryan, and for making my birthday so memorable and sweet!

Sunday morning, we picked up Alyson and then went to meet Ryan at his mom’s condo, which is in an old shoe factory and super trendy. I would consider dumping Henry and moving to Manchester, NH to live the single life in a swanky industrial condo.

The building kept some of the original factory things, which made it even more awesome. I am all for retaining history while repurposing a thing.

We got to briefly meet Ryan’s mom while Ryan was finishing up her breakfast – their relationship is adorable and is GOALS for me – although I’m not sure if being in a position where Chooch is my caregiver is something that I should really strive for.

Actually, I just started to clench up at the thought.

But the banter that Ryan and his mom was actually precious and entertaining!

After listening to some music Ryan is working on and dying over the in-progress track list of his and Alyson’s metal album about NOTARY THINGS, we drove to the nearby Red Arrow Diner, which is FAMOUS and real-life presidents have dined there! This is one of my favorite things to do when visiting a new place – dine at famous establishments!

Being scolded by Ryan!

“Now just so you know, this is a FAMOUS diner that ADAM SANDLER has frequented, so don’t go embarrassing me in here, you two!”

The Red Arrow is very very very tiny so we sat at the counter rather than waiting for one of the handful of booths to free up, and that actually turned out to be a great decision because it made me feel like I was a part of things. The two waitresses (Robin, pictured above, was ours and she was FANTASTIC and NO-NONSENSE) had some kind of fake-beef going on with the kitchen crew and it was pretty entertaining.

Henry sat on the same stool that once supported GUY FIERI’S diner-hopping buttocks so I had to immediately text my friend Bill, avid Fieri-hater, who responded with, “That is a cursed seat. I can only imagine the burden Sandra Bernhard carries.”

I brought a mug home with me!

Robin over there giving the kitchen crew a piece of her mind, probably.

J/K! Both Robin and the other lady would always say APPRECIATE YOU after yelling, “CAN I GET A MAPLE SYRUP?!” Also, it was such a tight and narrow space back there that observing both servers maneuver around each other was almost like watching a well-choreographed dance.

I look so tired here but I was extremely content – and hungry!

I had to send this to Chooch because when Romney ran against Obama, Chooch was a staunch hater. I remember being at work one night and Henry texting me that Chooch had popped off in Kmart about how he hoped THAT MITT ROMNEY would lose, lol – he was like 6 or something at the time but had a very firm politcal stance.

OK, I was teetering back and forth between sweet vs savory breakfast but I knew we were going to get ice cream later, so I went with the caprese omelet and RYE TOAST which ended up being the star of the show for me, Bob. It was the type of rye I crave – the thick, fresh, marbeled variety! I was talking about this toast for a solid three days afterward and Henry was just like BEAM ME UP SCOTTY.

I have no idea why my fingers typed those words with absolutely no prompt from my brain because I have never actually watched Star Trek nor do I remember the last time I even heard someone say that? Sometimes I think I become briefly possessed by people I have nothing in common with when I’m writing in here.

I love these pictures so much. Great food and meaningful conversation with awesome friends – the best combo!

ROBIN!

Oh yeah! Then the servers went around and asked if it was anyone’s first time, and if so, where were we from. I was super excited about this – WHAT DID IT MEAN? WOULD THERE BE A CEREMONY?? Especially when Robin ripped several stickers off a roll, held them against her chest, and said DON’T LOOK!

Then the other server RANG A BELL and made an announcement, calling out the locations of the first-timers! She forgot Pittsburgh though and I was sad, but then she remembered and went back and gave us a separate shout-out which was really exciting until I remembered that we were in a region of Pittsburgh haters (THANKS, STEELERS) so then I was trying to hide my face, lol. Anyway, Robin made us put on the stickers and I did so happily. This is also when I realized that there was another roll of CLEAN PLATE AWARD stickers and from then on, I was on a mission to clean my damn plate to get the AWARD.

Of course I succeeded and I was so smug about it, since Henry’s plate wasn’t clean.

BUT THEN HE GOT A STICKER TOO?? I was incredulous over this!

“You still have beans on your plate!!!” I cried, but he tried to legitimize it by saying that they were on “the saucer” portion of the bowl and “were served that way” and that he wasn’t going to “eat them off that plate.”

Um, OK? Seems ridiculous to me, but cook on.

Alyson later commented on Instagram that some people’s awards were won fraudulently, and now FRAUDULENT, FAMOUS BAKED BEANS is part of our TOLHURT repertoire.

My sticker, which was won fairly.

Thank you.

Oh man, we also nabbed one of these for the road, which we ate later that night and I wish we had opted for the bulk package that they offered.

My verdict is that the Red Arrow delivers. I can see why it’s famous and I already can’t wait to go back and try some pie with a side of RYE TOAST.

Thank you for taking us here, Alyson! Good call!

Please allow me to get a little out of order here and skip ahead to our Sunday evening in Hollis, New Hampshire, where we stopped to stroll about an old ass cemetery. In Pittsburgh, we don’t have any that are *this* old obviously so I was glad for this chance to ogle some 18th century tombstones, after a full day of Famous Diner’ing, Kpop shopping, ice creaming, apple orchard walking – all of which I will get to soon!

1743!!!!

Blending in!

We all split up and quietly observed the history. I was looking for either mine or Chooch’s birthdates because that’s what we do when we go on walks in cemeteries here and whoever spots theirs first wins. I didn’t see any 7/30 or 4/25, sadly :(

We were obsessed with the fact that GEORGEHENRY’s headstone was bigger than his parents and his dad was A DOCTOR! Probably the ONLY DOCTOR, even!

“What’s that finger-pointing symbol mean? I’m #1?” I asked, only moderately joking.

Hennry googled it and it apparently means that he’s going up to Heaven so I guess he’s the only one, because no one else had that.

Michael Myers in the Cemetery stance.

This one was my favorite.

I love how thin the headstones were back then.

Henry and I actually bonded a little over our shared disgust at the FONT that some of these headstones used, where the S looked like an F.

HIDEOUS.

DISGUSTING!

Repulsive.

We were obsessed with this one because there was a 40-something age difference between these two.

Abigail and Ebenezer – classic.

DEATH BY ACCIDENTAL CANNON DISCHARGE, zzzzzzoinkers.

Lydia is such a great fucking name. Lydia and Enoch. I wonder if they were a fun couple, getting drunk on boot juice and spreading rumors about who has syphilis.

Man, this was a really peaceful, quiet interlude to an excellent weekend. I’m glad that it’s something we call could experience and appreciate together!

I posted a bunch of these pictures on Insta and my friend Maya said, “Lots of genuine happiness showing through in these…” The Internet and social media definitely have so many negative contributions to life, but without it, I may never have made such true, real friendships, like with Alyson, and Bill & Jessi who we also had the opportunity to spend time with earlier this summer. It sucks that there is so much distance between us but when we get the chance to reunite, it’s literally a party and Maya is so right – you can tell that my smile is real in these! And Henry is, well, Henry.

Alyson and Ryan are both FitBit users so they understood my need to meet my step count for the day and suggested that we take a stroll through the nearby Greeley Park. I kept thinking of the metalcore band Greeley Estates and it was making me nostalgic for Warped Tours of yesteryear. Anyway, this park was so beautiful and forest-y.

Henry looks exactly the same in both shots lol.

I was really this happy all weekend!

The main attraction was the FAMOUS BATHROOM that serves as a backdrop for wedding portraits and the like. I can confirm that, for a public restroom, it really had the most majestic facade. Here’s a picture of NO PICTURES, PLEASE Henry.

Alyson snapped this one – we tag-teamed him and he was not pleased, lol. Two people obsessed with taking his picture? Oof!

I mean, I was drunk, but I didn’t think Henry was – this picture says otherwise!

Serious contemplation.

You guys, I love them so much, lol!

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube People.

We had such a fun time running around like dummies, watching Ryan climbing a tree (Henry, alleged Tree Climber Extraordinaire according to his mom, suddenly “didn’t feel like” climbing the tree. SUSPISH.), and sitting on cannon things!

Henry found one of his beloved TOBY TREES so we all pretended to be pre-teen Henrys, tokin’ on Tobys. (I still don’t really know how/why anyone would smoke these?? I surely never did as a kid?!)

When we came back to the Wilson abode, Ryan and Alyson got to work on some clandestine dinner which turned out to be 순두부찌개 (soondubu jjigae)!!! I could NOT believe it and came very close to crying because it meant so much to me that they were willing to cook something Korean for me (ugh, apparently Henry was their consultant on this matter, but I give Alyson and Ryan all the credit!). I actually haven’t had any kind of 찌개 in quite some time so it tasted extra good and heart-warming!

Honestly, it turned out so great and was the perfect “I’ve been drinking all day” dinner!

And then a FRUITY PEBBLE CUPCAKE! It was so rich, a real chunky boy! Bigger than my fist! The cake itself was lemon, which is my second favorite cake flavor, next to almond, so I was super content. Korean food and a cupcake? The perfect birthday dinner!

As if that wasn’t enough, I was then gifted with the most recent GOT7 album and I screamed, especially when I pulled my bias Youngjae’s photocard! This was Ryan and Alyson’s first time watching a Kpop album unboxing and they were like WHOA.

“No one buys it for the actual CD,” Henry mumbled.

“Yeah, it’s all about the photobook and other surplus items they throw in,” I explained, holding up a sheet of stickers.

Ryan admitted that this was pretty smart marketing and now I want him and Alyson to do a whole boxed set with a photobook and stickers when they record their metal album about the notary stuff. (Alyson let me see her song list and it is EPIC.) She said she wants one of the pictures to be her angrily stamping papers.

I’m high-key obsessed with this album coming into fruition now.

Day One was so much fun! In honor of my new GOT7 album, I will end this with their member Jackson Wang’s new solo song, Cruel, which just came out last Friday and I watched it before we left for the weekend while Henry was doing all the work packing the car, and maybe this is why he forgot our entire toiletry bag and therefore had to make an early-morning Rite Aid run the next day.

Ahhh I’m so excited for these upcoming recaps but also sad because it means the weekend is over. OK, lemme set this shit up for:

I always get depressed on my birthday – not because of AGING, although that’s NOT GREAT. I feel like I whine about this every other year so we’ll skip the history of my birthday depression this time and go right into the remedy: planning something fun so that I have a thing to look forward to. This year, Chooch would be missing my birthday because he chose Mexico over me, so I decided that I wanted to go somewhere for the weekend just to get away and have All of the Fun. I can’t remember why but my friend Alyson and I were engaging in our patented giddy texts – probably something about Hot Naybor Chris or Henry crossing the street, who even knows with us! And it got me thinking that I haven’t seen her in way too long! I had to go back in my blog to find the exact year, and I’m pretty sure it was the winter of 2014 when she was in Pgh to see a band she loved/was friends with and I hung out with them later in her hotel room, where we drank good wine and ate chocolate made by BOBBY BLITZ’S wife.

That was her third time here in Pittsburgh, visiting, and we had only gone to visit her in New Hampshire ONCE so it was definitely our turn. I asked her if she’d be up for it and she said YES and when my birthday weekend was one of the options she suggested, it felt like it was meant to be!

We’ve known each other since 2005, where we met on LiveJournal and I am so thankful that our long-distance friendship has managed to stay solid over all of these years. It’s not often that someone else scream-laughs over the same senseless shit as me!

We left Friday morning and the plan was to get to our hotel in Nashua around 9pm that night and meet for breakfast in the morning, but if you read my liveblog, then you know I managed to stretch Friday out until near-snapping point and we didn’t arrive until 1AM. LOL, sorry Henry.

When we got to Alyson’s Saturday morning, I ALMOST cried. ALMOST. I was just so emotional! Every year, I would write, “MAYBE <INSERT NEXT YEAR> WILL BE THE YEAR WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!” and finally, 2022 was the magic year. YEAH. BOI.

The only request I had for the whole weekend was BREAKFAST AT PARKER’S MAPLE BARN. Alyson took us here in 2013, where she famously grilled Henry about TED NUGENT. 

I was irrationally mad that Henry and I both wore purple. Especially since his shirt is the shade of purple I like most. Ugh.

First we had to sit in the quarantine room and wait for a table. The hostess even came and SHUT THE DOOR and I started to panic because there was no handle on our side of it!! But then Alyson got the TABLE READY text and Henry strode right up to the door like he had built it himself with tools he carries around in his trunk, and wrenched it right open. We were so in awe.

J/K, no one cared.

But then as one of the hostesses was gathering our menus, she was talking on the phone / bluetooth the whole time about what sounded like personal matters. I was like, “Wow, I don’t want to say this out loud and bring down the mood, but this broad is being super rude.” When we got to our table, Henry kept going on and on about “was there in a hole in the floor?” and finally I snapped, “OMG what are you talking about??” and he was shook that we didn’t see the other hostess behind the register, laying on the floor.

“Oh, was that who our hostess was talking to?? I thought she was on the phone. I was going to say, wow she’s so rude” and Alyson said she was thinking the same thing!

I dunno, I just asked him about it again and his story is awfully convoluted. I have no idea what was happening. “Maybe there was a downstairs,” I don’t know,” he just said exasperatedly so now he has the hostess standing on steps to a storm cellar instead of laying prone on the wooden floor.

We saw SAID HOSTESS a few minutes later, walking about like she hadn’t just been allegedly lying on the floor, so I’m not sure what the hell Henry thought he saw. But now I’m obsessed with knowing.

The main reason I wanted to come here was for the maple coffee – I had never even *heard* of or considered the possibility of maple coffee before  my first visit to Parker’s and scoffed a few years later when STARBUCKS came late onto the maple scene.

It was just as divine as I remembered!

We all had delicious breakfasts but I think Henry won the fast breaking game by choosing DEEPFRIED over grilled when the waitress asked him how he wanted his side of French toast cooked. Holy shit I never want non-deepfried French toast ever again after tasting that.

Henry, post-bathroom emergence.

Henry took this so it is v. unflattering toward me but I need every picture of Alyson and me together so I did not delete! Also, one of the signs is in Korean! It’s the one on the righthand tree, all alone.

Basically the same picture but this filter always tickles me.

Alyson took this of Henry exiting the gift shop, where we bought maple syrup for Chooch and some candy.

After breakfast, we went the long way back to Alyson’s so that we could stop at a nursery called The House on the Side of the Road, I think? It was so cute! They give you small bags of freshly popped complimentary popcorn to eat while plant-perusing!

I bought these two babies and Henry said he was surprised that was all I walked away with. Trust me, I was eyeing up so many more!

Back at the Wilson Residence, we finally met Ryan, who put mimosas in our hands and we proceeded to have the most relaxing / sloshy afternoon, chatting about everything, watching Alyson angrily highlight a misspelling in her cocktail recipe book, and watching the wildlife in their backyard. Also spying on their neighbors, so you know I felt right at home!!

I brought Alyson some Narcisi wine because she was the only person who thought my brother Corey’s and my obsession with this place was funny. She and I alone killed this bottle, plus I took copious swigs of all the delicious frozen drinks she was serving up to Henry.

Yoooo, I was plastered! I drink so infrequently these days that even one drink hits me hard. But, it was my birthday and we weren’t going anywhere, so I kept drinking!

Then, and I can’t even believe this happened and Henry swears he didn’t tell him to do it, but Chooch Facetimed me from Merida!! He was at the beach with his friends and he even let one of them talk to me! I was probably slurring but he’s used to me being weird on the phone so he probably didn’t notice. Alyson got to talk to him too!

This is a good spot to end Part 1!

Today was all car, all the time. We left Nashua around 8am after splitting a leftover birthday cupcake (thanks, Alyson!

), agreed on an audiobook, and settled in for the long-haul drive. (A bit over 9 hours, plus all the inevitable stopping.)

I didn’t LiveBlog since we were audiobooking but I probably should have because the book was a ZERO STAR for me, son.

(It was “All I Want” by Darcey Bell, in case you care. I will probably have lots of mean things to say about it in my August book wrap-up.)

Anyway, that picture is from a NY rest stop. I thought the flowers were pretty, because I am 43 now and these are things that delight the Elder Eyes.

For lunch, we went to Apple Valley Restaurant in Milford PA (?). This was after we stopped at a Pilot where some tractor trailer had the audacity to block the exit and one of the Pilot guys had to continually get on the loud speaker to call out the truck # and chastise the driver in an overly friendly tone about how it’s rude to do so and other truckers are now blocked in and he is GOING TO HAVE HIM TOWED IF HE DOESNT COME OUT AND MOVE HIS DAMN TRUCK. Then he went back to showers today look for him there! The other guys working the counter were weighing in on this, how they can always tell which driver it is by the guilty look on their faces but how they will never come forward, and it was really quite something. Trucker drama. Wow.

I actually didn’t understand what the guy had done and Henry explained it to me but it sounded stupid aka I still didn’t understand.

But yeah Apple Valley was not our first or even second or third choice but the one place looked permanently closed, the other made me feel uncomfortable when we pulled in the lot (it was fast-foodish but there were a lot of people eating outside and the inside was packed), but Apple Valley claimed to have a veggie burger so winner winner.

Immediately I was mad because Henry asked for a booth and the only one was right by the lobby so I didn’t get to see the bowels on this wood-paneled eatery. I pouted about this for some time and then pretended to act like I was balking at the prices just to see what Henry would say and when he was like “we can leave…” I snapped, “OH OK SO YOU THINK WE ARE TOO POOR TO EAT HERE THEN?”

We stayed and it’s a good thing too because my veggie burger (which I was expecting to be OUT OF STOCK because supply demands / economy stuff I don’t put attention to etc) was actually pretty delicious. It had avo and also some wonderful pesto mayo on it.

Thick Boi! It was thicker than Henry’s Real Meat Burger!

Also I loved the fancy metal plates.

Our waiter was a young guy named Derrick but Henry thought he said Dick. He was ok but kept disappearing and the hostess had to go looking for me because he was probably out back filming TikToks.


Afterward, we checked out the adjacent candy store where I ended up coming face to face with what is now known as Megan’s Birthday Present, and then I spotted a Mr Gray Guy outside who turned out to be a Mrs Gray Girl so Henry went to the car to get peanuts and I fed her!!

Flying J is next to PA mountains, therefore making it an ok place to stop.

Me in the bathroom looking haggard because I’m 43 now and road trips are now very tiring for me.

We only stopped at one (1) Sheetz if you can believe that!!

But it was memorable because Siouxsie and the Banshee’s “Kiss Them For Me” was playing and I can’t remember the last time, if ever, I heard that in the wild?! This was after we getting gas at Pilot earlier and the gas pumps were ensconced in the synthy majesty of Running Up That Hill.

And not nearly as unexpected but equally as audibly delicious, S vussudio was playing at some point too today – maybe at a Love’s?! Henry clearly tries to hit them all.

We finished the book about 30 minutes outside of Pgh and ranted about it angrily until we got home. The end.

P.S. The lowlight was the book in case you couldn’t tell.

Good morn’. It’s 9:00am and we’ve departed for our latest weekend adventure. It feels like we left the house an hour ago but we got tied up in a long Dunkin drive thru line and are currently only in Cranberry. Lame.

I convinced Henry to take a slightly longer route to our destination, which will take us through NY instead of across the entire length of Pennsylvania. I’m so sick of making that same drive over and over. I did have an ulterior motive though – this route takes us through Buffalo and I want vegan füdz for lunch.

I brought this book along for the ride. I can go either way with Riley Sager (Henry hates his books) so we’ll see where we land with this one. You care.

I just held the door open for someone at GetGo and as I was making a gloating face to Henry, I almost crashed into the guy I held the door open for so now Henry is clowning me.

Henry got a Krispy Kreme at Get Go and I took a small bite because I don’t often have these things. I think they’re fine but I still don’t understand why people hyperventilate over them. I remember when my hometown got its first location and my family, who had grown to love them thanks to all the car show road trips they went on without me, the Family Pariah, went fucking nuts. Mostly my dad, who was obsessed with these breakfast sweets that are neither crispy nor creamy. This was back when my dad and I hated each other so I think I probably intentionally went into it being a bitter Betty, pre-hating them because I refused to agree with my dad on anything then lol oh teenage Erin. You were a fucking delight.

11:06am: We’re almost in NY! Lake Erie has been on our left for quite some time. I have been quietly reading my book like a precious Princess while Henry houses palmfuls of trail mix.

Made the mistake of asking Henry why gas prices vary by state and now he’s droning on about taxes, totally ruining Taemin’s “IDEA” which is currently playing, so I said “I’m bored now” as I looked longingly out the window.

“Always nice talking to you,” he sighed.

11:40am: a gaggle of Hell’s Angels just puttered past us and I was tempted to flip them off to see if Henry would defend me once we pull into the next rest stop and see them waiting for us. He asked me to please not. Now we’re talking about who kills more people: them or the Pagans and Henry said probably them because they’re “more nationwide.” I wonder if he knows that from when he was studying them to pass the admission test that he ultimately failed because he has NARC written all over him.

“Their leader just died,” he said (why does he know this?!).

“Was he an out of shape slob like the ones that drove past?”

“Well no. He was very skinny because he had cancer.”

That killed the convo.

12:03pm: at my fave rest stop in New York.

He was mad because I yelled HENRY just so I could take this lol. Some kid stood at the glass and got a passing by truck to beep and I cried I WANT TO DO IT TOO but Henry muttered “come on.”

LEAVING THE REST AREA AND SPOTTED THE HELLS ANGELS. this was the best shot I could get because Henry didn’t want to get killed.

1:24pm: Just left Sunshine Vegan!

Ok, I loved it. Black-owned vegan establishments just do it better. That’s facts. First of all, we walked in and the owner’s son joyfully greeted us with the announcement that it was his moms birthday and I was like Lord what’s it like to have a kid who cares about your bday?? It was just such a welcoming atmosphere.

I got a po’boy (I’m obsessed with vegan shrimp done right and this was it), Henry got some type of veggie sub (he thought it was a burger lol), and we got a carrot “tuna” salad dip to share. It was all so delicious and I didn’t feel like shit afterward.

And oh my LORD whatever that green sauce is, I wanted to lick every runaway drop off the plate.

This dog’s name is Dinero and he hated Henry! Yessss.

2:14pm: Made Henry detour to some village called OAKFIELD for donuts at some okay donuterie called Sweet Ally’s. I actually couldn’t finish my fruity pebble donut and gave it to Henry but the few bites I had were ok. Nothing to write home about except I guess that is what I’m technically doing??

The best part was this small park behind the donut place that gave walking prompts!! I won at it.

Actually the highlight of this was when Henry was struggling to get SIRI to understand that he needed directions to Sweet Ally’s. She had us going to Utah at one part. I was laughing so hard and he legit yelled at me which made laugh harder.

3:22pm: Stopped in Seabreeze Park land to do some Lake Ontario stuff!

The public restroom here was like a prison cell!

4:03pm: Back in the car. Here are some pictures from our LAKE ADVENTURE which wasn’t much of an adventure but it was still nice to get out of the car and sit on a large rock above splashing lake waves while pretending it was the ocean.

Ok, stay predominating, preDon’s.

Anyway, Henry and I are actually really enjoying each other’s company amazingly even though I did at one point snip: “Why can’t you just do what I want and keep your mouth shut about it?” He was like WOW but then proceeded to do what I want hahaha.

Also!! I asked him if he got me something for my bday (tomorrow!!) and he said yes but that he can’t give it to me until Chooch is back and if that’s my present…I mean, yay! But also, can I have STUFF too? I’m a very STUFF-centric bitch.

6:39pm: We’re at Eddie’s in Sylvan Beach for dinner and regardless of how the food ends up being, this restaurant is MY STYLE. It got mediocre reviews on Yelp for being DATED and LIVING IN THE PAST and NO RENOVATIONS SINCE THE 60s which is how I knew it was the right choice.

That vinyl / carpet combo!

Also, our waitress’s name is Hannah and of course it is because she looks like every Hannah I’ve ever known. (She is very nice.)

News flash: Henry chose PEPPERCORN as the dressing for his salad. I have never known him to select this?!

And then it looked like bleu cheese and he said no it’s peppercorn so I was like HOW DO U KNOW ITS PEPPERCORN and he said because he could taste the peppercorns?! What do they taste like?! Peppery corns?!

Before we ate, we bought some tickets because GALAXI was running this time! Sorry Chooch but we snagged a coaster credit that you don’t have. (Although, he got a country credit that I don’t have so I think he wins this round lol.)

I thought Henry was holding his nose because he too was bothered by the STRONG currents of B.O. being tossed around on this carnival coaster but I guess he just had an itch. It was a really strong stench. Anyway, we thought this was going to be tough and janky but it was surprisingly pleasant! I was a fan.

Couldn’t pass this up! Did it get worse than last year somehow? It just felt like we were mostly in the dark and the “scares” were barely lit. Oh well, I only ride it for that nostalgic aroma of must and grease, and the sound of the pretzel cars turning corners. It’s a vibe.

After eating, I demanded that we walk around some more to digest. Because of all this LOLLYGAGGING, our ETA in Nashua is now 12:18am lolololol.

Today is just “casual driving day” or as Henry calls it “Never Gonna Get There” day lol.

I can’t believe I got milquetoast Henry to do this.

The ride operator was oiling the track!

“I bet he had to sign waivers for that,” I said.

“I bet he didn’t,” Henry said in his I KNOW THINGS tone.

Same day, different lake. This is Lake Oneida! I fell in love with Sylvan Beach when we were visited last September and that love is still going strong. It is such a cute little vacation town! I’m already pining for it.

Anyway, when we left, Henry made me drive for almost TWO HOURS. Ok, 90 minutes. But that was annoying because he always sleeps when I drive so I’m basically driving alone. And I wanted to read my book some more but now it’s 9:23 and dark so thanks Hank.

Well, I’m going to post this now since it’s going to essentially be tomorrow when we check into our hotel. I’ll update if anything noteworthy happens!!

11:50pm: Still in the car as expected but I just realized who our waitress reminded me of:

HOLLY J from DeGrassi, also can a Look be any more early-2000s?!

1:00am: we’re here. Good fucking night.

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Now that Chooch has a “squad” in Mexico, we’re getting less and less updates from him and that’s FINE, let the boy live his life, etc etc. But damn yo it’s excruciating being a mom over here waiting to be fed, yanno?

He sends us the dumbest pictures too and then doesn’t even tell us what they are so basically we’re at the mercy of the CIEE Yucatán insta. Let’s see what they shared during week 2:

Except for this! Chooch sent it to me because he went ice skating and had to exchange his skates multiple times and then got a BIG BLISTER. This was right after he went to the beach and got a BIG SUNBURN.

On Monday of Week 2, they made pinatas!

I was definitely a little jealous because my Monday just consisted of screaming into the void, which is also known as Monday thru Friday.

Then one day, they went to a museum to look at ART and I did not know this until CIEE posted pictures.

Last weekend, they had an overnight trip to Vallodolid, where they went to the 7th wonder of the world, Chichen Itza, saw spider monkeys which he didn’t tell me about until I ASKED, and swam in a cenote. They ziplined too!

You guys, this is apparently his squad! Why was I worried about him going on this solo trip and being miserable? He always makes friends so fast!

I *am* annoyed that he was one of the few that didn’t have on the CIEE shirt. I’m sure he wasn’t paying attention and missed the memo, which is very on brand.

I think this is his Level 2 group. I’m pretty impressed that he’s only taken one high school year of Spanish and managed to place himself into the middle of three levels!

I was laughing though because he told Janna before he left that he didn’t know any Spanish and she seemed concerned about this. I was like, “He’s probably trolling you, Janna” and she was like, “You’re probably right.” I mean, whose son is he?!

It’s so weird, but over the weekend I was going through some boxes of photos that I brought home from my grandparent’s house in 2016 and there was a stack of photos from when my Aunt Sharon visited the Yucatan in the 90s. Then, the same day, I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers and she was showing some stuff from her closet that she was donating to ThreadUp She held up a dress and said, “Here’s the dress I wore recently when I visited Chichen Itza” and then a picture of her from there popped up in the corner and I was like, “Wow. That’s a sign of something, I guess.”

Chooch’s squad again!

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He’s only got one and a half more weeks to go and I have a feeling he’s going to be Mr. Miz when he comes home. I always fell into a deep depression/mourning as a kid when I would come home from big trips. Henry was like, “You still do though??” and then I remembered the Post-Korea Depression and laughed sadly. Yes, I still do.

Anyway, I’m excited to find out tomorrow on the weekly CIEE blog post what Chooch has been up to this week because as usual, no info. Which is fine, you know, live your life, bro. Be in the moment, etc etc!