We were supposed to have belated cake for Chooch tonight but the cake person was a no-show today so Baskin Robbins called and tried to get me to take a basic ice cream cake that they already had on hand but I got super upset about this and screamed about it (not to the BR person – they left me a voicemail so my Karen Sesh was directed at Henry) for a good SEVEN MINUTES and Henry was like, “Erin. He’s 17. He doesn’t even care about this cake” BUT I CARE ABOUT IT OK.

In the end, we decided to just do cake celebrating tomorrow night so Henry called BR back and they said sure, ASSUMING THEIR CAKE BITCH ISNT A NO SHOW AGAIN.

This was another really boring weekend. The weather was not great Bob so I couldn’t even enjoy nature-things. I just stayed home all weekend except for earlier today when we went to Las Palmas to look at piñatas for the fiesta I’m hosting next Saturday but I got mad at Henry for ignoring me / not listening to me / being distracted so I stormed out.

Can you sense that there was a theme for today? My explosive anger was on a short fuse today. Im ok now. I went on a long drive earlier and listened to an audio book and then came home and knocked freshly-folded laundry out of Henry’s arms so that felt good.

I know that just because Henry is chained up in the basement while working on the subway sign, that doesn’t mean that I have to stay home too but the thought of making plans is so exhausting/overwhelming to me right now, especially when its impromptu. I don’t know that I have that amount of emotional stamina or stability right now.

Progress shot:

It has its own laptop and wifi!

I just feel like I’m going stir crazy. Normal people I think would make the best of a rainy, quiet weekend by bingeing TV shows, napping, watching a movie, etc but I cannot focus on S H I T. Nothing holds my interest! I’ve abandoned the last several TV series I started (Daisy Jones – I read the book and feel like the show was starting to waste my time, and the latest season of You is just sooooo bad in my opinion). Then I think “ok I’ll watch a movie” but then I spend an hour looking for a movie, starting a movie, stopping a movie.

In other news, Rob who lives on the other side of HNC may or may not be moving out? HNC said he was and it does appear like there has been some moving-out activity taking place but then I noticed today that he replaced the beer sign in his front window with another beer sign. So, who knows. But he was outside doing something last night while BLASTING classic rock.

Today was so boring that at one point, Henry and I – the last remaining people in the country who have yet to watch a single second of anything Kardashian-related – had a disagreement over which Kardashian sister was the oldest. (I have never been more sad to be correct about something.)

I just want to go to an amusement park. Then I’ll be ok.

I don’t have an intro. Let’s do it.

1. Restaurant Crushes

When I was younger, I was always having crushes on bus boys and waiters and various restaurants and when my Pappap would ask me where I wanted to eat after Saturday evening church, my current crush usually determined my answer. I remember PARTICULARLY being super hormone-y over a bus boy at this Italian restaurant that was actually called Napoli but we just called it Naples. I was so convinced that he liked me too but in hindsight, I highly doubt this was the case. That boy was so hot and I was so….not, lol.

I’m telling you this because Wednesday night, Henry and I had a double date with Megan and Eric at Tillie’s. Obviously, my restaurant crush was not Henry, but our young and sassy waiter whose name I’m not sure I ever knew. I was too busy crushing on him to notice that he was, according to my dinner companions, fucking with me every time I spoke. To be fair, I couldn’t hear most of what he was saying to me over my heartbeat 두근두근ing  in my ears and my babyish giggling.

I was concerned for the entire dinner that he was perhaps TOO YOUNG for me but Henry passed the bar on his way back from the restroom and overheard the waiter telling the bartender that he was going to have one drink before going home and I HOPE HE DIDN’T MEAN A ROY ROGER.

The actual dinner and company portion of the night was perfect too!

2. Kpop Dad’s New Faves

Henry has been wildly into the newest NCT unit, NCT DoJaeJung. I think that we might have to fight because I’ve seen the way he’s been smiling at Jaehyun and he is *my* NCT127 bias!!

Anyway, he was sitting on the back porch the other day, scrolling through Insta Reel after Insta Reel of them dancing to their single Perfume.

Then Wednesday night, he said he was going to bed and of course I just waved him off, like “cool bye” and then I put on new NCT DJJ content, which made Henry stop in his tracks and watch it while standing up with his hands clasped behind his back like some kind of Kpop Mafia Dad.

Um, I think we are both going to be very sad when this promotion cycle ends. Sigh.

3. INCOMING: Some pictures of Drew and Penelope in the attic

The company I bought this neon from sent me a DM on Instagram and asked if they could use my pictures on their social media and I said sure but literally no company ever uses my shit after asking me (this is the third or fourth time) so whatever, why even bother asking!?

4. Work Comings-and-Goings

In super sad news, yesterday was Lauren’s last day at the Law Firm. I know we still talk and hang out here and there and it’s not like we were seeing each other every day anyway in these WFH years, but it’s still sad, especially seeing her name deactivated from our Jabber at work. She was one of the only people who was genuinely interested in hearing my Kpop/Kdrama/Korea in general news when we were in the office, and she developed a pure interest in Our King and Savior, G-Dragon (particularly for his avant garde style). I asked her if I can still text her G-Dragon updates as they arise, and she said yes please. :(

In happy news though, someone is coming BACK to the law firm! I had enticed them several mths ago to apply for a new opening and while the process was very long and dragged-out, they texted me today and said that they accepted an offer! Not that anyone really ever reads this garbage dump of text, but I won’t say their name just yet because it hasn’t been officially announced in the department and I don’t want to jinx anything!

5. A New Chooch Injury

Chooch’s physical therapy sessions are still on-going, but that hasn’t prevented him from PLAYING FOOTBALL AFTER SCHOOL which I did not know was happening until yesterday when he texted Henry and said that he hurt his finger?! It’s all swollen and purple and he’s been icing it – it probably is just stoved or whatever that word is for “busted but not broken” so I guess he will be OK but he makes me so nervous!

“This is my year of injuries,” he said proudly yesterday. Yes, pick the year that we actually planned a big trip to rack up the medical bills, dumbo!

Anyway, the real reason why I’m annoyed about this is because I bought Thingie Ball v.3 in the $3 section of Target and I need him to heal so we can play it.

If you think I bought this because one of my favorite NCT Dream songs is called “Boom,” well….I’ll neither confirm nor deny.

OK, this is going nowhere and I am tired of sitting so, see you, chingu.

Apparently it’s National Pretzel Day which means absolutely nothing honestly – I’ll care about a National Whatever Day that gets me a day off work. Until then, it’s all nonsense.

I do love pretzels though. But not as much as HENRY, who eats pretzels as a form of therapy I swear to god.

So I went through my blog and collected some photos of him enjoying a pretzel. I was actually surprised that I couldn’t find more than this, though there were a lot of references of him eating pretzels, just without photographical evidence. I guess I need to do better.

Here he is at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, paranoid that someone’s going to pickpocket his pretzel.

Sometimes he treats himself to an entire bag of soft pretzels. I feel like this might have been his birthday gift to himself one year but then Chooch and I shoved our grubby mitts into the bag when he left it briefly unattended.

Roller rink snack bar softie. Even in motion, looks like he’s dunked that sucker into some cheese plz.

That time he took a detour in Amish country, following signs to the elusive SMITTIE’S SOFT PRETZEL truck that ended up disappointing him, boo hoo.

Sometimes he is too tired after making separate dinners for me and Chooch, so he ends up eating toast and pretzels.

This was on the way to see Chiodos in Columbus many moons ago and I know he was angrily grinding away on some salted twists because the accompanying blog post said so.

Well, that’s all for today because I am exceptionally tired. I have that “I’ve been crying all day” full body exhaustion going on except that I wasn’t crying all day? Just once when I was watching some broad’s recap of the Chicago NCT Dream concert LOL ugh grow up, dumb ass.

Apologies for this hasty, moments-before-leaving-for-school poor quality photo of my SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD. I’m lucky he allowed this to happen at all – we were soooo close to fighting about it and I was just about to pull the I DON’T ASK MUCH OF YOU Card when he was like, “OMG TAKE THE PICTURE.”

Just another BITCHY MORNING. Speaking of, this one day last week, we started fighting in the house (by fighting, I do mean bickering) which carried over onto the porch as we walked out the door. But HNC and his wife were also leaving their house at the same time, so the four of us stopped and looked at each other and then HNC said, ‘That kind of morning, huh?” which prompted Chooch and me to start poppin’ off over top of one another, like:

“HE STARTED IT”

“NO SHE DID”

“HE’S ALWAYS SO MOUTHY IN THE MORNING!”

“SHE GASLIGHTS ME!”

“HE KNOWS EVERYTHING!”

And HNC and his wife were just like, “OK cool have a nice day, you two.”

***

Isn’t funny how moms act like so shocked every year when their kids have a birthday, like, “How are they X-years old now?!!?”

Guilty.

Every single year. It me.

I don’t remember much about my pregnancy other than being absolutely miserable and terrified, feeling absolutely possessed by the devil, do I have enough minutes on my pink Razr to call the Vatican, but one thing that has remained firmly lodged in my mind is someone – can’t remember who, though, maybe the Vatican exorcist – said to me, “Once you have kids, time moves so much faster.”

Probably I was like, “LOL OK lame ass,” after that person walked away, but HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS, truer words. These last 17 years have slipped straight through my fingers LIKE SANDS IN AN HOUR GLASS SO ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES AFTER HAVING CHOOCH.

I’m usually pretty self-deprecative up in these parts but I am just going to go on the record here and say that I think Henry and I did a pretty smokin’ job raising Chooch, even though we saddled him with a nickname that he has grown to hate and can’t shake, sorry RILEY. But to be honest, he made it so easy. He is so smart and independent all on his own – we have never had to intervene with school stuff or nag him to get his work done. For example, over the weekend, I walked past his room and he was “studying math” at his desk for an upcoming AP test, without anyone telling him to. I mean, I didn’t even know this test was happening until I had to pay $100+ for it. Then I FULLY knew.

Anyway, the kid is a solid 4.0 student, is hilarious, sarcastic, and basically just my favorite person in the whole entire world OK? Don’t tell G-Dragon and Taemin.

AS SUCH, I really wanted to do something for his birthday, or at least give him money to go out with his friends, but he has been so adamant about not wanting to do anything, so then I was like FINE I WON’T EVEN HONK THE HORN AND SCREAM HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR AT SCHOOL.

And then, of fucking course, at 4:30 today he texted me and asked, “Are we doing anything tonight?” UM NO. NO WE ARE NOT AND HERE IS WHY. BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING AND GOD FORBID I SHOULD PRESS THE ISSUE.

So of course, now I just feel like shit for not planning something anyway, but you just never know which way the wind is going to swing his mood. Maybe he will be amenable to a dinner out this weekend, who knows?! He at least hung out with one of his friends after school for a few hours, and then Henry got him a piece of pie from Eat n Park. Woo hoo, happy birthday!

(OK yeah we’re at least getting him a proper cake of some sort this weekend, whether he likes it or not.)

(YOU GUYS HE’LL BE ABLE TO REGISTER TO VOTE NEXT YEAR WTF.)

Hey just when you guys were like “I literally do not care about this NCT bullshit and will never care to learn about the sub-units or whatever this bitch keeps calling them,” a brand new sub-unit was formed! This one is called NCT DoJaeJung (for Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo from NCT127).

They recently debuted with the song Perfume which I have been obsessing over and it also made me think about how during the whole life thus far, I have had three very distinct signature scents. I mean, after I graduated from the Avon roller scents in middle school thanks to my friend Cara who used to bring in her mom’s Avon books all the time – my favorite scene is on the tip of my tongue but I can’t think of it!! I just tried to Google and none of those roller ones are even coming up – did I dream it? That’s what my mom would say. Anyway, it was something beachy/tropical and it was the only one I ever ordered.

In high school, I was BIG INTO Versace, so his Red Jeans scent was definitely my jam. I think I mentioned this recently, but Henry found a bottle of it for me, and I have been happily spritzing myself with nostalgia ever since.

I also was very attached to YSL’s Champagne (I think it’s called Yvesse now) also in high school. I haven’t smelled that in decades, but I just closed my eyes after looking at the bottle online on my nose remembered.

But the one that most recently was my signature, and I really should get some more of it, was Dior’s Hypnotic Poison. I used to wear it religiously in my early years at The Law Firm and people would always recognize my presence because of it – it is very unmistakable and unique.

Cool, now put on some red jeans, drink some champers, and watch this hypnotic poison of a video and then tell me what your signature scent is while I do a deep-dive into the Avon archives looking for that stupid cheap-ass perfume that now I suddenly need to sniff again.

Hello! I don’t really have anything exciting going on (“When do you?” asks everyone in the balcony in the back of my mind) but I have some downtime in between my v. busy morning of writing correspondence, exercising, making a breakfast smoothie (I can use a blender-thing now!) and watching NCT Dream fan cams from the Seattle show.

I have been trying to be responsible by staying home lately on weekends so that Henry can get this fucking subway sign done. I know, I can go out without him but that would require me to either go out alone or make plans with other people but every time I pick up my phone to text someone like, “Wanna hang out” I feel sooooo tired. So, then I don’t. I have some social-y things coming up this week and into May, so I’m good, lol.

Anyway, he’s made great progress on the new sign but this is at the expense of my livelihood so…

Here are some things:

• Speaking of subways! I found *more* old photos the other day, just when I think I have finally lassoed them all up into photo boxes. I swear my house is like Mary Poppins’ tapestry bag. Anyway, I found a set of photos from my second trip with my grandparents and Sharon. This was my second time in London, but I think it was probably the first time I ever took a subway in any city, ever. I remember that we hung back from the tour group and did our own thing while we were in London, so that must have been why we were using the tube.

Of course Sharon has a Harrods bag. And that’s my Pappap and me in the background!

• In other back-in-the-day vacation news, remember back in February when I found a Christmas card from one of the families we had met on my first trip with my grandparents and Sharon, and I felt inspired to look up the daughter who was around my age? Well, I found what I had hoped was her address, sent her a card with my email address and IG handle, and then nothing happened for nearly 2 mths. I figured either:
  • • I had it completely wrong;
    • she emailed me back but it was directed to one of the OTHER Erin Kellys;
    • or she just totally didn’t remember me.
  • But then last weekend, I got an IG notification that someone named Olivia had started following me, and it was her!! I also got a card in the mail from her several days after that and it is wild to reconnect with someone after 30+ years. I’m excited to catch up and for us to start a new phase of our old friendship!
• All of this vintage vacation stuff has me so anxious to travel again. I know we booked our flights for our August trip but this fucking coaster club is being sooooo slow with getting the final payment info together. We’ve already paid into it a bit and this isn’t a new group or anything so if they end up saying that the trip is not happening, I am going to expect a fucking refund and then scramble to try and plan our own itinerary using the same flights because I am 100% married to this region we’re supposed to be traveling to. This isn’t their first big international trip either so I’m hoping that they’re just waiting for all of the parks to finalize things with them. They have confirmed some of the hotels (the one in Gothenburg is brand new – I was watching a YouTube video of its sneak peek soft opening and it looks so fucking beautiful) and several of the rides we can expect ERTs for, so there’s that at least.
  • The really annoying thing about this is that most of the information is being provided in the Facebook event they created for it so I have to use my dummy account that was created in order for me to be able to create Instragram ads for my stupid card shops. It’s just so infuriating when shit is done via Facebook. And there are already people who are annoying me bigly with their comments so that’s great. I hope there are some chill people that will be a part of this group! I think there are around 60 people who registered?
    • I started looking for a small bag to buy that’s bigger than a fannypack but not a full-sized crossbody, because I want to be able to tuck my vacation journal into it so that I can jot things down while in the parks rather than wait and try to frantically scribble everything down afterward in the hotel. “Just use Notes on your phone, Erin!” some might say, but I am very analog when it comes to “jotting things down,” lol. Also, I will want to be saving my phone battery for pictures/videos. Anyway, I think I am going with a bag I found from Baboon to the Moon because I like that brand. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED, in case you are heavily invested in bags.
• Chooch turns 17 on Tuesday! I’m sad that he hasn’t been cleared yet by his doctor to be more active because I would have planned a weekend amusement park trip, subway sign be damned. I asked him if there was anything at all that he would like to do and he said no so we just bought him a new/bigger TV and he’s happy. I guess now that I think about it, when I was his age I also didn’t really care about doing anything for my birthday but I was also depressed because of my Pappap dying and the most I would agree to was having my BFFs Lisa and Christy come over and we ate cake with my mom and brothers in the kitchen. It was all I needed, really! But as a mom, I of course always want to something big for Chooch’s birthday so I will just need to shut my mouth and accept the fact that he’s just not into birthdays like I am.. :(
• My record player broke a few years ago and I never replaced it, mostly because it was around the time that I got into Kpop and so my interests shifted. But lately, more and more Kpop groups are releasing vinyl and I feel like the attic would be a great spot for a record nook so now I’m going to start to prioritize that, I guess. I can’t even remember what my old one was other than it was actually old, like a real turntable from back in the day and not one of these newfangled ones that people are buying at UO because they look cool but then chew up the vinyl. So, you know, no Crosleys for me, thanks. But I’m also not in the market for something super audiophile-centric and $$$$ either. I just want something reliable without sacrificing quality. I don’t know why I just plopped down so many words about this, how boring.
• Onion “we are closing, this is our last day” Maiden magically “reopened” 2 weeks later for a 420 pop-up event. I’m just so tired of restaurants acting like they’re motherfucking bands, getting everyone all worked up because they’re “disbanding” only to come back with reunion shows. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a disgruntled old people but the veg/vegan scene is so fucking obnoxious. It makes me not even want to be supportive of it, just stock my freezer with mass-produced veggie patties and call it a day. I don’t know, I got a seitan sandwich from the pop-up and it was just OK so I’m officially not broken up over this. I will just continue to patronize vegan establishments in other cities when we travel because I’m over this idiocy here. Also, the ordering process for the pop-up was just as jacked up as we expected. It’s vegan food, not a Taylor Swift ticket purchasing event. Either make a decent quantity of your food or don’t do it at all, get over yourself. Every goddamn city we have traveled to has had vegan restaurants that don’t close their doors after two hours because they “sold out.” Just normal-ass restaurants that you walk into, sit down, order, eat. Boom. Here in Pgh, you’re better off going to a regular restaurant that has “vegan/vegetarian” options on the menu, I swear to god. As someone who has not eaten meat since 1996, I find this whole “scene” completely appalling and pretentious.

On that note, I need a snack. Goodbye.

Do you ever have those moments where you float above yourself and witness just how fucking annoying and obnoxious, maybe even a little (a lot) pathetic you’re being?

That’s me nearly every day but it has been at an all-time emergency SOS level since I saw NCT Dream. Am I being neo-Beatlesmania over this? Yeah, I am. I acknowledge this. I have self-awareness, I promise, but sometimes my mania is so uncontainable that I have to just let go and observe from above as I completely lose my mind, scream, start sobbing at the job of a pin.

How does this happen? It’s borderline cult-like. Since the concert (and ok even weeks before with their Asia and Europe shows) I have been watching vlogs on YouTube of various and Henry just gives me the “dad look / sigh” but then he always ends up watching it too, lol. Before I went to get my hair done Saturday morning, I was watching concert footage of one of my favorite songs and I yelled, “HENRY ARE U WATCHING” and he said, “I have seen this so many times! Look, now they’re going to get into a circle and face Chenle,” Henry predicted, just as they…got in a circle and faced Chenle.

And then he did a double take and sighed, “Are you crying again?!”

Hint: my eyes definitely weren’t sweating.

“I just can’t believe I saw them, Henry! 7DREAM! I miss them so much!” I cried even harder then, while also breaking out into a crazed bray. I am so lost.

I have for sure written about this before, but let me breeze through a quick NCT Dream Cliffsnotes for you. They debuted as a 7-member sub-unit of NCT in 2016 and were known kind of like the “baby brothers” of NCT127 because they were made up of the youngest members of NCT. The concept was that it would be a fluid unit rather than fixed, so anytime a member reached the age 20 (19 in western years), they would “graduate” and then be replaced by a rookie.

The OG members were: Mark (oldest), Haechan, Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung. Mark and Haechan are also in NCT127, which is a fixed unit. So perhaps some eagle-eyed readers of this dollar store Kpop site might recognize them from some of the NCT127 videos I have posted!

In 2018, Mark “graduated.”

To be honest, I was mostly paying attention to NCT127 at this time and kind of knew about the graduation thing but was also like, “Wait…what now?” I just know that the fans were traumatized by it, petitioning for SM to stop the insanity and make NCT Dream a fixed unit, etc. I think that they had never had a chance to have a real tour as a 7 member unit.

Then, I believe it was in 2019, there is infamous footage online of the remaining 6 members on stage at a concert, realizing that it was the last time that they would be performing together because the 2000 line (Haechan, Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun) were all set to “graduate” after that. It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen that didn’t involve someone or some animal dying. I’m not lying. To watch Jisung, the youngest, fall to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably while the other members are also crying—it was a lot even for me and I still wasn’t a full stan yet.

Fast forward to 2020, SM dropped the graduation gimmick, brought Mark back and 7Dream was BACK TOGETHER. Their whole story is so precious, and the brotherhood they have created is inspiring. I literally cannot talk about this out loud without getting choked up and/or legit sobbing. Somewhere along the way, I started to realize that NCT Dream had become my favorite NCT unit.

Haechan recently said that to him, their true beginning was when Mark came back and they released “Deja Vu.” I love that.

Anyway, their The Dream Show 2: In a Dream tour is the first time that they had the opportunity to perform in the US as 7Dream and it was SO SPECIAL.

Everything about this show was special! I loved my seat! I loved the girl to my right, who brought a Mark Golden Hour sign in honor of him releasing a solo song that day. She was from Seatle and had flown to Newark to see their first US show, then flown to Chicago. I asked if she would be going to any others, and she said, “Oh yeah!” She was so chill, and then the concert started and she was screaming her face off and doing the fan chats and it was fine because I too was screaming my face off. I actually found her on YouTube and you can 100% hear my big fat mouth in all of her videos. As soon as I put one on, Henry said, ‘Yep, that’s you.”

And then the girl to my right! Pamela! She was sooooo sweet and considerate, asked me if I was having fun, asked me if she was blocking my view. We chatted a bit during some of the VCR moments (when videos would play while NCT Dream was backstage changing) and it is just so nice to have the chance to fangirl with someone. She likes Taemin too!

For 2 and a half hours, my face was stretched out into the biggest smile, I laughed, I screamed, I cried, I shook.

Sorry, but I’m just going to dump a bunch of pictures here now.

When I say that this was in the Top 5 all-time best concerts of my life, I am not being hyperbolic. It was the second-best Kpop concert in general  that I’ve seen (G-Dragon is 1st place, also one of the Top 5 all-time best concerts of my life!). It just hit different. The emotional connection is so strong with this one. I know it’s annoying when people film entire concerts but here I am, eternally grateful of all the different angles I’ve found on YouTube, lol.

OMFG. I have seen Haechan three times with NCT127 but this was the closest I have ever been to him and I nearly couldn’t breathe, LOL. And my Dreamie bias Renjun looking like an absolute ANGELBABY in the center. His vocals were ON POINT.

This was during Henry’s favorite song, “Saturday Drip.”

TRIGGER THE FEVER!

I can’t do a song-by-song recap. I mean, I never do that anyway, but I really feel so broken, lol. I felt so whole during the show and now there is a huge chunk of my heart missing. THEY DID THAT TO ME

OH and I finally got a Be Real notification while I was actually out doing something rather than just sitting in my house! Usually, I can spend the whole entire day out and about and it won’t be until the MOMENT I get home when Be Real is like, “OK, it’s time!”

And here I am on the video screen!

After the show, I reunited with Henry in the hall outside of my section and he surprised me with the other t-shirt I liked! I got another photo card with it – JAEMIN! Henry said he talked to the merch lady about the photo cards and she was saying it was her first time experiencing this phenomenon and people kept trying to get them from her, lol. NOT SURPRISED.

Outside the venue, we were standing around trying to figure out where all the vans were because I wanted to stand around like we did for NCT127 in Newark, and I saw my seatmate Pamela! She actually ran over and hugged me, and introduced herself to Henry, saying, “I love a supportive husband!” EVEN THO HE IS JUST MY BOYFRIEND but that’s OK.

Anyway, we stayed in the parking lot for what felt like at least an hour and it was FUCKING COLD. I think it was like 30 degrees that night and I only had on that thin denim jacket for warmth, and NO SOCKS. But even though one of the security guards gave us the run-around and said we were in the wrong spot (we weren’t!!), it was worth it just to see the silhouettes of their waving hands and to know that they saw us standing there in the cold to send them off. (We stood in the rain for NCT127!) So fucking worth it.

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I know this probably feels disjointed and janky and that would be because I have been dragging this out for 2 weeks, adding a little here and there, because I cannot get myself to calm down long enough to do a coherent recap.

All I know is that I can’t remember the last time I felt more myself, so comfortable in my own skin, as I did for those 2.5 hours. It makes it even better that Henry likes them too, knowns their names, knows their songs. What a perfect fucking night. Take me back. I want to be where NCT Dream is.

SET LIST FOR MY OWN BENEFIT

1. GLITCH MODE
2. COUNTDOWN (3,2,1)
3. STRONGER
4. DREAMING
~VCR~
5. DEJA VU
6. MY FIRST & LAST
7. BYE MY FIRST
8. LOVE AGAIN
9. TO MY FIRST
10. SORRY, HEART
~VCR~
11. PUZZLE PIECE
12. CHEWING GUM
13. ANL
14. DIVE INTO YOU
15. IRREPLACEABLE
~DRIVE~
16. SATURDAY DRIP
17. QUIET DOWN
18. BETTER THAN GOLD
19. DIGGITY
20. RIDIN’
21. BOOM
22. HELLO FUTURE
23. WE GO UP
24. TRIGGER THE FEVER
25. HOT SAUCE
ENCORE:
~RAINBOW~
26. BEATBOX
27. MY YOUTH
28. WALK YOU HOME

I’m crushed that “Life Is Still Going On” wasn’t performed but shit you guys, this setlist was stacked. NCT Dream just doesn’t have a single bad song.

I feel so sad for Moonbin, his family, his members, and all the AROHA out there. Shocking and so depressing. :(

I’m so fucking annoying, right? Here’s another separate blog post about the NCT Dream concert while I continue to get ahold of myself long enough to put into words my feelingzzzz. This will be my feelingzzzz but in video format, I guess.

It’s so hard for me to choose a favorite NCT Dream song, and they did perform most of my *unordered* faves. I do try to abstain from recording at concerts because it’s like they say, no one wants to see your shit-quality zoomed in concert footage (except for me if you went to see NCT Dream, I love watching everyone’s vlogs!!). But there were several songs that I was like, “FUCK IT, I AM FINALLY SEEING THEM BELT THESE NOTES INTO THE SAME FUCKING AIR THAT I AM CURRENTLY BREATHING AND I WANT TO HAVE THESE ON MY PHONE FOREVERMORE.” I put three of them on YouTube*.

*(Unsearchable because I do not like any attention on YouTube, dating back to a billion years when I uploaded an old video of Henry taking me to E.99 and St. Clair Ave in Cleveland so that I could pay homage to Bone Thugs -n- Harmony and I got BLASTED for being annoying/hideous/etc etc. I mean, those statements aren’t wrong! But still, I was like ‘OK crossing off YOUTUBE STAR from my list of dreams – this was before everyone and their grandma was posting vlogs btw, but somehow my manic braying still caught traction.)

1. Dive Into You (this a Haechan focus, but it’s the best quality version I could find and this song can melt my heart on even the iciest work day).

They genuinely love each other and it shows in every performance. <3

2. TRIGGER THE FEVER! (my version lol)

I wasn’t really looking at my phone a lot of the time because I frantically swinging my lightstick and uh, it shows lol. But this song is so fucking uplifting! Mark has co-writing credit on this song, which was the Official Song of a FIFA tournament in Seoul in 2017. He helped write this one year after he debuted!

3. Countdown (3,2,1)

A FAVE. Haechan at 00:35 sends me, and then when Renjun comes in at 2:25 and does the snaps…..leave me alone, please.

4. CANDY (chaotic last song of the night version)

Jaemin holding onto his plush carrot the whole time, Haechan being his absolutely unhinged self – I want this video to live inside my heart until the day I die, and then haunt Chooch after that for the rest of his life. The way these 7 dreamies bring me so much happiness!

5. Dreaming

Look, this is an absolute jam and I listened to it 89123740740974b times when the NCT2020 album came out, but I am JUST AS MUCH posting this for Jeno in that cut-out shirt, OK. We tell truths here.

6. ME ON THE SCREEN

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A post shared by Erin Appledale (@ohhonestlyerin)

I love this because for a brief moment in time, my face was captured at its absolute peak happiness. Thank you to the person who basically uploaded the entire concert on YouTube so that I was able to go back and find this after noticing it that night. And the way my friends pointed out how happy I looked when I sent it to some of them made it even more special!

7. Renjun’s outfit in this portion of the concert

UGH I loved my seat but I would have also loved to have been that close. DROOL EMOJI

****

Ok! Now that I got all that out of my system…oh also! When I was creeping on YouTube, I found videos from the girl who was sitting next to me – she’s from Seattle and flew to Newark and then to Chicago to see them. She was super chill and then once the concert started, I was like, “oh ok I did not expect that level of frenzy to come forth.” Anyway, Henry was laughing because in all of her videos, you can hear my loud ass shrieking lol.

Ok 잘 자.

My friend Veronica pointed out the night before the NCT Dream concert in Chicago that there was a full moon, that maybe the effects would extend to Friday and bring me good vibes at the concert. Well, I think she was on to something because it was sincerely, without coming off as being hyperbolic or corny, one of THE best concert experiences of my life. And I have been to a lot of concerts of all types and sizes!

In this post, let’s talk about the pre-show haps. You already know what my ‘fit looked like UNLESS YOU DON’T READ THIS DUMP REGULARLY.

Our hotel was right across the street from the Allstate Arena so that was extremely convenient. When we first drove past the arena earlier that day to get to the hotel, there was a HUGE line already formed. That’s the one main reason I opted out of getting a GA floor ticket – it actually cost about the same as the seat I ended up scoring, but it was standing room only (some Kpop concerts have seats on the floor). I’m of the age where my time is valuable and my endurance for ‘camping’ outside of an arena is at an all-time low. To be quite frank, I would not even do this for The Cure. I just want to be able to see the stage comfortably and while the prospect of being barricade is tempting because YES, I WANT EYE CONTACT WITH IDOLS, I can admit that this season of my life has passed. But I will still scream and cry and freak out over whose poca (photo card) I pull from albums! DONT GET ME WRONG.

That being said, we didn’t leave the hotel until around 6:30, I would say, almost died jaywalking (there was no crosswalks at the intersections!?) and reached a side of the arena that had two entrances. I was really confused because as we were approaching the arena straight on, I could see a huge-ass line of NCTzens snaking all the way from the second entrance, down the length of the arena, into the parking lot. Yet, there were some stragglers approaching from the left and going right through the first door.

“Is that like, a VIP entrance?” I asked mostly just to myself because tf does Henry know, right? There were two girls who had been walking in front of us and I could tell that they were also debating what to do – cross the street and attempt to go straight into the first door, or walk all the way to end of the line waiting to enter the second door.

LOOK, I AM TRYING TO GET THIS POST WRITTEN AND DID NOT WANT TO WASTE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF TIME MAKING A NICE DRAWING SO PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SCRIBBLED DIAGRAM.

Just then, a security member came out of the first door and shouted, “FOLKS, THIS DOOR IS OPEN, THERE IS NO LINE. THIS DOOR IS OPEN.” So I was like, “Shit, run!” and we (well, I) ran across the road and pretty much STRAIGHT through the door since neither of us had bags that needed to be searched.

Was it a dick move considering many of those people had been camping all day? I mean, maybe, but we weren’t GA/floor so it’s not like we were taking someone’s spot, and there were people coming in from the parking lot on the left who were strolling right on in too. It’s not our fault that the arena didn’t do a better job directing people!

So we got lucky and this ended up being one of the seamless concert entrances we’ve experienced.

The best part was that the first merch table we approached only had about 20 people in line, so we slid right up on that.

The line was made up of a few roped-off switchbacks, and there was a girl two rows ahead of me who opened her tote bag and called out, “Anyone want any freebies?” Of course everyone near her happily reached into the bag but I was a bit too far away, so I had to yell, and I DO MEAN HOLLER, “Ooh, can I have one?!”

“Oh my god,” Henry murmured in the key of Bob’s Burger.

I had to reach over two lines to grab one of the tiny envelopes in her bag, literally making the line in between us come to a halt lest they get clotheslined on my arm.

But I got a Haechan poca out of it!

“You’re so embarrassing,” Henry sighed.

Yo, I can’t help it – as soon as I’m at a kpop concert, my inner Erin comes out, like I AM FREE TO BE ME. I am super talkative, sociable, and a complete extrovert like I used to be so long ago before the real world crushed my soul into a pulp of jaded anxiety.

The merch line went extremely fast. I knew immediately which shirt I wanted, and when the (mildly-flustered) merch lady went to ring it up, she paused and said, “Oh wait—” and reached under the counter. She then placed a small black envelope on top of the shirt. Apparently, merch purchases came with a poca! (I found out later that it was specifically the t-shirts.) This was a pleasant surprise! Of course, I found out later that it created a huge debacle because fans began to expect a poca with every item purchased, and then some of the merch tables ran out of pocas before the end of the night.

You don’t understand – collecting poca is a huge part of the Kpop scene. It’s not that important for me, which is literally the ONLY indication that I am an Elder in this scene. But I can promise you, if I was younger, I would probably be charging hundres of dollars worth of kpop albums to my mom’s AmEx, trying to collect every single poca.

To make it very simple, each kpop album comes with a random poca (photo card) of one of the members. It’s usually a selfie that they took, and then the backs have a handwritten message on them. They’re about credit card-sized, and you can even but little albums to store them in, or photo card holders to hook onto your backpack, keychain, belt loop, etc. (Yes, I have one lol. I was also using it for my work ID too, so it always looked like I was buzzing myself in with a picture of Renjun, lol.) Anyway!! Super fans will buy multiple copies of the same album trying to get the poca of their bias, or to just collect one of each member, and there are trading communities out there too. It’s a whole thing, you guys. When I say you don’t just get into Kpop on a casual basis….

Phew.

By the time we got out of the merch line and started exploring the rest of the arena, the lines for every single merch table had grown so long that it had become difficult to walk. The lines spilled out into the main hallways and it was so chaotic.

I wanted to find my seat, just to get a lay of the land before the show started. I found my section, but Henry wasn’t able to actually go any further than the curtain, as it was being guarded by a STRICT older woman usher. She was not letting a single soul slip past on her watch. I showed her my ticket and she told me to go all the way down to the bottom-most row and turn left. I knew that AA was the first row so I admittedly didn’t listen very hard to the rest of her instructions. I went down to the first row and was immediately rattled because the last seat in that row was 11, and I was 12?? How could that be? Directly above seat 11 was a seat 12, but that was row BB so I was super confused and now my heart rate was up a bit. I really do not trust TicketMaster or the venues anymore so I really was thinking that I somehow had purchased, for $500+, a seat that didn’t exist

So, I went back to the usher lady and said I couldn’t find a seat 12 in the first row, and she once again reiterated her directions and I, once again, went down to row AA and couldn’t make this invisible seat 12 magically appear. Now I was just in the way of people trying to have their pictures taken with the stage behind them, so I sulked back up the steps, like, “OK great there is no seat there for me so I guess I will just spend the show crying in a garbage can instead.”

At this point, Henry (who kept telling me to CALM DOWN, and NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT) wanted to use the bathroom before we went to find our respective seats. We just kept walking and walking, passing one women’s room after the next. Finally, Henry stopped to ask a male employee where the closest men’s room was.

“Alllllll the way down that way,” the guy said, motioning with his arm. “There are only two men’s rooms for tonight,” he laughed and we thought he was joking but it was true! Knowing that the majority of the night’s attendees would be women, the arena had turned most of the men’s rooms into women’s room, lol. We had to fight our way downstream, cutting through the unruly merch lines, for idiot Henry to find a damn bathroom.

After peeing in one of the two designated men’s rooms, maybe even christening it, Henry offered to find my seat because I am a lost sheep that needs to be herded. I gave him my phone so he could pretend that it was actually his seat and as the same usher gave him the same directions she gave me, I realized my fatal error: she had said “to the left,” and I, both times, WENT TO THE RIGHT. Literally, I was trying to give myself a worse seat than the one I actually had, by trying to will a seat to appear for me in a section farther from the stage.

What is my problem!? We will talk about my seat in a little bit because when Henry returned with an irritated smirk on his face (“Thanks, I had to make a bunch of people move because your seat is all the on the other side of that row”), I decided that I would just go to my seat closer to the start time of the concert, now that this usher was probably like, “are these two old heads trying to pull one over on me, or?”

Because these fucking concerts are so stupidly expensive, Henry and I can’t afford to sit next to each other because puchasing two seats at once would bankrupt us. OK, that’s being dramatic, but the fact is that while I can justify the cost of a ticket for myself because I am a Never-aging Fan Girl, Henry is content being there, but you know, with the cheapest ticket available. The day of the show, he bought a $60 seat in the upper level (and then proceeded to complain later when people in front of him stood, which prompted the same argument of “THAT IS WHAT YOU DO AT A CONCERT.” When I tell you that I wanted SO BADLY to stand during Genesis, but everyone else in our row was seated and there was a wall of elderly people behind us so I stayed in my seat….Ugh. I hate thinking about it. I was really glad to have had the opportunity to see Genesis, but it was a bit too calm for me.

Anyway, here are some pictures of Henry finding his seat. He had the WRONG SEAT at first, but go on Henry, make fun of me for my inability to follow directions and mentally map out the route to my own seat.

Henry in the Correct Section.

And lookie, there appear to be two dads down there! Henry was very happy to have scored himself an aisle seat. It’s really all he wants when it comes to concerts. Anyway, wow, now that I’m looking at this, upper level at this arena was not so bad!

Next, Henry wanted to buy a BEER. I didn’t think to ask him at that time, but this morning, my friend Alyson asked what kind of beer Henry got. Alyson always asks the important questions! I had to go into the basement to ask him (no, I don’t keep him in a cell down there, he was actually doing work on the Seoul Subway Sign v.2, so yeah, I guess he’s basically imprisoned). He said he got a COORS LIGHT because it was the only beer option. I do know that they were also selling Vizzy (I mean, duh, you can see that in the picture) and that one can cost $22!!! Maybe even $25?? I can’t remember now, but the girl who was sitting to my left had one and she told me how much it cost and I actually felt sick. Then she motioned that she was going to set down in front of her (we had a little wall in front of us so it wasn’t going to topple off of our row and onto the floor or anything, but I was still very protective of and it watched it like a hawk anytime we had to move to let people in or out of our row. I was like Vizzy security.

I was standing behind Henry when he was purchasing his beer (which came in commemorative Allstate Arena cup, wow) and heard the beer-pourer ask, “You here for your daughter?” and Henry said, “No, my wife” which is always so annoying because SWEETHEART you have not earned the privilege to call me your wife?? I leaned forward and yelled, “DON’T LIE!” and the beer-man laughed and then asked him, “Do you listen to this music?” and Henry said YES.

I took this picture after I got to my seat. The concert hadn’t started yet, but they always play MVs beforehand and then everyone screams like the members are actually on the stage, lol. I was so happy with this seat! The lady in red was the staff member guarding the entrance to the floor area which was directly on the other side of my seat. I was so close to the floor that my row (AA) had folding seats as opposed to the regular floor-mounted seats that the other sections had. I had a perfect view of the main stage, but the reason why I chose a section farther away from the main stage was because I knew there would be an extended stage, and that is what I wanted to be closer to. The end of that portion of the stage is right next to the head of that super tall blond girl in the sheer white shirt. It was almost as good as being on the floor as far as proximity to NCT Dream went, but way more comfortable because I was in a row with seats and while of course none of us sat through the concert, we didn’t have to worry about being crushed or having to strain to see past the people in front of us. And the crowd on the floor pretty stayed where they were too, it never expanded to where there people right in front of us, leaning against the sideboard like that striped-shirt person is doing up there. I was nervous about that, but wow, what excellent fortune I had with this seat! I was so worried that I chose poorly!

OK, I think this is all that I wanted to memorialize. In my next post, we will discuss THE CONCERT. Assuming I have returned to earth by then.

Ay-yo, today I got my hair cut at Bad Apple which is evidently my salon now, I’m keeping it, having been going there since last July and really building a nice rapport with my stylist, Carly.

Anyway, I was originally just going to get my highlights partially touched up and a trim, but the last few weeks I’ve been really considering A CUT. Like, nothing drastic but my hair has been long and just, the same, for too long now.

I started googling pictures of lobs and quickly decided that this was the look I wanted. Actually, now that I think about it, remember a few posts ago when I said that Henry didn’t fight once during our Chicago journey? DAENG DAENG DAENG. We did! And it was when I showed him one of the hairspo pictures and he LAUGHED?! I was like, “REALLY U THINK THIS IS A JOKE, U BITCH?” and then I sulked in the car for a few minutes while he tried to back pedal.

But you know what? I don’t let a MAN shame me out of a hairstyle, so I showed Carly the exact picture this morning and she was like “yes. Let’s do it!!”

Anyway! I really like it. I told her that I also wanted curtain bangs and I’m not going to like – I had regertz at first. But I think I just didn’t like them because she styled my hair straight with just the ends kind of flipped up and in my head, I knew I wanted it to more wavy/tousled. But I also didn’t want to be there any longer! So when I got home, I threw in some quick waves with my flat iron and then the bangs fell into place with a choir of angels singing from the ceiling.

Ok, here are some pictures. They’re not the greatest (because my face is in them LOLOLOLughhh it’s a low self esteem day, my guy) but you will maybe get the idea!

Forever cutting off the top of my head. If I could trust Henry to take decent pictures of me, perhaps we’d have better visuals here.

In other news, my blog was hacked today I guess and then Henry fixed it but another issue arose and then he just spent the last 90 minutes on the phone with some IT guy who has to be his best bud by now (Henry, on hold, was like, “he’s probably in your blog looking at all your pictures,” and I screamed, “maybe he’s looking at my NCT Dream content! Ask him if he’s Czennie!!!!” but he said, “No I will not.”)

So that was Saturday. Super low key. Also went to the library, watched a ton of 7DREAM concert footage on YouTube, went to the cem. Perfect weather. Good hair. Be back tomorrow if my blog still exists!

P.S. I just said to Henry, “I feel like I’ve been crying all day. Oh wait–I was just crying a few minutes ago when I was watching a vlog of someone watching the NCT Dream movie in the theater.”

Henry got the “Omg” glaze over his eyes.

Some things I want to be rememberin’ JUST IN CASE:

1. Easter 2023

This was the first year in quite some time where we didn’t really do anything for Easter. :( Henry and I got home from Chicago the night before, so we technically could have had a picnic or something, but who wants to be preparing a picnic the day after a road trip? Probably not Henry. We still put together a basket for Chooch which he half-cared about, and then later we went for a cemetery stroll but Chooch didn’t want to go because of his “knee” but he’s been back in action with his after school carousin’ so how much longer are we gonna be playing the OW MY KNEE card, hmmm? We also went to Kung Fu for boba and brought the crybaby one home too. So annoying.

Then I literally spent the rest of Easter watching YouTube content of the Chicago 7Dream concert and crying, like legit leaking big fat wet tears down my fat cheeks because I have the post-show sads in a bad way, which is also why I still haven’t blogged about the experience. Even right now, my behind-eyes are burning.

2. Don’t Hire Chooch to Squirrel Sit

Before we left Thursday, I kept giving Chooch instructions on how to feed the squirrels. “And don’t put the peanuts out front, because they’ll be tempted to cross the street with them, you have to put them—”

“—in the backyard on that fence, yeah I know, and I am NOT leaving the house to feed them,” Chooch said in disgust, never once looking away from MINECRAFT – why is he playing this again?? He has been playing this game since he was like 5, I swear to god.

Friday seemed OK. He sent me pictures of the cats “not missing” me, evidently (yeah right, we are fucking besties) and then sent two pictures of the squirrels sitting in the backyard like gangsters, gnawing on their peanut shells.

But then on our way home Saturday, THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENED:

UM NO, THEY NEED TO BE FED MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY! When I skip down the driveway with my pumpkin pail of peanuts, they start scurrying down from the trees in anticipation of 4th, 5th, maybe even 9th meal.

When they saw me on Sunday, they seemed PISSED Especially Girl Buddy, who is used to special treatment. :(

3. Bitch, You’re DNF’d

You guys, this was the very beginning of a mystery I picked up from the library, and I was so put off by the writing.

I even dramatically read it out loud to Henry in the car on the way home from Chicago and he was like, “I don’t understand those words.” If I’m reading literary fiction or a contemporary novel, fine. There is a time and a place. But this is not what I from a mystery so I DNF’d after a few chapters. Also, there was so indication that this was book #3 in a series but then I saw it listed as such on Goodreads, and I am definitely not trying to read a whole series written this way.

4. NCTFlair

I bought more pins for my NCT jacket! This is specifically NCT Dream, I guess. I’m so giddy about it because Chooch had already hated it when there were only two patches on it so now I’m going to wear it every time we leave the house together.

Renjun & Haechan <3

I mean, Drew is a fan.

5. Obigatory NCT Video

I may not be ready to recap my experience just yet, but I am always ready to share videos of NCT Dream, lol. Anyway, I still can’t believe I got to see a version of this in Chicago. I think I might have PTSD though. Please do yourself a favor and click through to YouTube to watch this. (Fun fact: it’s Henry’s favorite NCT performance – srsly, ask him!)

OK, sorry, this whole post was a cop-out but I am sad/depressed/stressed – this was another rough work week and I am just generally annoyed by everything and have a very short fuse, so honestly if I’m not over here navel-gazin’ about NCT, I’m just going to be typing out vitriolic hate posts that won’t do anyone any good.

Maybe I need to plan another party or something.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Eat a taco or something. Isn’t that a feel-good activity for normal Americans?

And these were the books:

1. All Hallows – Christopher Golden

UGH this was supposed to be “if you like Stranger Things” and like, the 1980s – I dunno. But I did not feel a single 80s vibe from this book, the characters were cardboard, and the writing was cheesy AF. Not scary.

2. The Villa – Rachel Hawkins

I didn’t realize immediately that I disliked another book I read last year by this same author, so I was nervous. However, this one was 4-stars for me. Two BFFs (the friendship is lowkey strained though) go to Italy for the summer to write their respective books and the villa they rent is the location of a very high-profile murder that took place in the 70s. I loved the 70s-throwback chapters so much, and I thought the characters in this one were better written than Reckless Girls (I think that’s what her other book is called – I don’t feel like looking even though in the amount of time it took me to type this, I could have checked lol ugh who cares). This is one of those times, though, where I wonder if I liked it because the audiobook was so well done, or if the book itself was just that solid? I dunno, it was different and I liked the main character. The ending was….I mean, it’s a bit outrageous but isn’t that why we read thrillers?

3. All Good People Here – Ashley Flowers

OK, does this borrow loosely (heavily) from the Jon Benet Ramsey case? Sure. But is it a motherfucking page-turner? EFF YEAH. I always bring a book with me when we road trip even though I barely end up reading in the car because I’m liveblogging or blabbing away into Henry’s shut-off ears, but this one had me so enrapt that I couldn’t put it down on the way to and from Toronto in March and then I stayed up late when we got home because I had to finish it before going to bed. This entertained me bigly.

4. You Must Remember This –  Kat Rosenfeld 

OK, I was super into this mystery / thriller. Loved the old family estate setting, the flashbacks to the grandma’s youth, the sardonic banter from the surly uncle. I was fully on board with this book, getting successfully creeped out here and there, until it all kind of unraveled for me at the end. I think I even said, “Really?” out loud. I still gave it a 4 because I really did enjoy my time reading it but the ending was hard for me to swallow.

5. Gothic – Philip Fracassi 

OK MUCH better than his other book I read, A Child Alone With Strangers. As I read this, it so vividly played out in my mind like a really classy horror movie from the 70s, something akin to The Omen. Basically, this struggling author is gifted an antique desk by his rich wife/gf but UNFORCH, the desk is fucking CURSED big time and all kinds of very violent chaos ensues, and believe me when I tell you that it was written with such intricate detail, that I could feel the pain in my bones. I listened to this on audio during my neighborhood walks and I was involuntarily flinching in public and sucking the breath between my teeth during some of these scenes.

But yeah, total 1970s classy horror movie aesthetic here.

6. A Flicker in the Dark – Stacy Willingham 

Megan lent this one to me and our tastes in thrillers are extremely aligned so I knew it was going to be good. She never lends me a dud!

This one was a page-turner and even though I sort of guessed the twist, there was enough other shit / red herrings going on that kept it fresh.

7. A Quiet Life – Ethan Joella

This was a very sweet character study of three extremely different strangers who each recently lost a loved one,  and how their lives end up intersecting. It was pretty maudlin, I’m not going to lie, there was no quirkiness, no comic relief really. But it was written beautifully and I cried.

8. I Have Some Questions For You – Rebecca Makkai 

FUCK YES. FIVE STARS. MY SECOND MAKKAI, AND BOTH WERE 5 STARS. This was excellent. Dark academia that I can get behind. If you’re an audiobook fan, I would definitely recommend going that route with this one.

One weird thing to note is that I read this right after a Flicker in the Dark, and both books had references to kids crushing fireflies.*

Anyway, don’t waste any more time reading this blog – just go and grab this book as fast as you can.

9. The Golden Spoon – Jessa Maxwell 

Eh. Very overhyped if you ask me. A light mystery. Didn’t really care one way or the other.

10. Shoko’s Smile – Choi Eun Young

Hello, this was fine but every time I pick up a book of short stories, I’m like, “Wait, I don’t like short stories.” Somehow I didn’t realize that’s what this was even though it literally says it in the title. Cook on, Erin.

11. Sign Here- Claudia Lux

Eh. I kept losing interest and couldn’t keep up. This had the potential of being so great and right up my wino-laden alley, but the delivery was kind of a mess and I cared about no one or nothing.

12. Episode Thirteen – Craig DiLouie

Another one that is best read via audiobook because it’s about a ghost hunting TV show, each character has their own chapters, and the background noise gave me goosebumps even when walking around the ‘hood in broad daylight. Also, there is a song that’s played several times that is FUCKING HAUNTING. It did kind of lose me toward the end because it became very sci-fi-y but I was overall thoroughly entertained and creeped out. No fucking way I could have listened to this alone at night.

13. London Seance Society – Sarah Penner

More like the London Snoozer Society.

***

OK, that’s all. Just wanted to give you a little break from the NCT Dream content (oh shit, there I go, mentioning NCT Dream again lol).

*(There were also two books that I was reading in tandem last month – one had a DAYS reference, and then as soon as I picked up the second book, THAT ONE ALSO HAD A DAYS REFERENCE IMMEDIATELY IN THAT CHAPTER. Also, two back to back books had a girl character named Riley. That’s all.)

Good evening, here I am once again, being super fucking annoying and immature! This post is all about what I wore to the NCT Dream for all of my imaginary friends who care! Imagine how excited Henry was when I forced him to take these pictures!

Anyway. Even more so than when I went to see NCT127 last fall, I wanted to adorn my idiot self with NCT flair. This is lowkey nuts for me because I am from the school of “don’t wear the band’s t-shirt to their concert” rule of thumb (LOL, who even cares?!) but here I am needing to enrobe myself in enough merch and accessories for even the most casual Kpop fan to realize, oh, NCTzen coming through.

For instance, I bought these slip-on Vans specifically to use as NCT patch displays.

Obviously,  I had my neobong (lightstick). I can’t believe I was fortunate enough to have TWO OPPORTUNITES to use it in public in the last SIX MTHS!

I painted my nails NCT-lime.

Me looking like a stoop again.

I bought a Renjun shirt specifically to wear that night because he is my NCT Dream bias, and I wore my Haechan pendant that I FORGOT TO BRING WITH ME TO THE NCT127 SHOW LAST OCTOBER, UGH. Haechan is my favorite across all NCT units in general. I also wore my neobong necklace from The Idol Collective <3

This purse is actually NCT127-specific (Cherry Bomb) but these two pins are Renjun and Jaemin from NCT Dream. This was mostly just a prop for these pictures because I actually don’t usually take a purse to concerts because I am just trying to get through security as fast as possible. I bring my phone and wallet. The end.

Definitely wore this clipped to my beltloop all night! It was good for storing the new photocards I collected at the venue, too.

And then here are my NCT Dream scout patches that Henry ruined because he attempted to glue them on instead of ironing at first, and the glue bled through in some spots so now I have to get new ones, thanks Henry.

I wanted to get a headband but the one I really wanted was shipping from like, Indonesia I think, and wouldn’t have arrived in time. I do have a bunch more patches and pins coming this week to add to this jean jacket and then I am going to wear it every time I’m out in public with Chooch because he fucking loves having a mom with Peter Pan syndrome.

It’s funny to me because I might be into a totally different music scene now, but I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON. Remember when I was so obsessed with Jonny Craig, that I had a fucking DOLL MADE IN HIS LIKENESS? Yeah, same person, just into different music since then, lol. Remember when I went to Australia to see The Cure? And then Kpop lured me to Korea? Same fucking obsessive personality, same inner child refusing to adapt to adulthood. I think the only thing that’s changed is that I’m happier, and I think Henry is too.

Didn’t mean to get so introspective in a post about my NCT Dream concert flair (lol) but I have really been thinking about this a lot lately. Music in general has saved me from myself a lot in the past, but this just hits different. And seeing NCT Dream…wow. So cathartic. I keep stalling from actually writing about that night because it’s going to make me cry. That night was completely perfect. BIG FAT SIGH.

Let’s end with an NCT Dream dance practice video, one of my faves! (Speaking of Peter Pan syndrome, my bias Renjun is dressed as Peter Pan lol.)

Before I even attempt to get into the meaty NCT portion of our whirlwind Chicago trip, I want to give a shout out to Henry for HEARING ME this time, diligently mapping out the places I wanted to hit up, and being my emotional support punching bag for all the times pre- and post-concert when my feelings would come squirting out in all sorts of ADORABLE ways. I was so afraid we were going to have a replay of Toronto but believe me when I say it, Becky, we had zero fights. NONE! NONE FIGHTS!

I mean, sure, his breathing and chewing got on my nerves occasionally but that happens everywhere, it’s not location-specific.

Since Chooch wasn’t with us, we didn’t want to hang around Chicago TOO long the day after the show, but I definitely wanted to go to this cafe I’ve been following for a while now, ever since an artist (the creator of my favorite Pee Wee wood art that now lives in my kitchen!) posted about them on Instagram because they too have one of his awesome works on the wall! But yeah, this place is called The Brewed and it’s a horror-themed cafe which is obviously going to be my jimmy-jam.

I believe it’s in the Avondale section of Chicago, do with that information what you will.

First, we had to walk under this toothy awning, and of course I was obsessed. I made sure to walk on the other side of the street on the way back so I could get the full experience. I love my dentist so much (like, LOOOOVE him) but he really needs to step up his signage game, man.

I actually wouldn’t mind having this attached to my house, if we’re being honest. I wonder if HNC & Co. would appreciate that.

Trust me, it would be an improvement on the neon beer signs in the window and ugly-ass whirligig things that ROB has erected all across his yard.

The Brewed! I made Henry go in first because I always make other people enter places before me. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Right off the bat, I want to say that the vibe was chill and friendly. Like, the lowkey, quiet friendly that you’d get if you were just having a convo with your work friends – that’s what it felt like. The baristas were already engaged in a conversation when we walked in and somehow made it feel like we weren’t interrupting them while immediately turning their attention to us. I didn’t feel rushed or like an outcast, which is something that is probably just in my head but I swear to god it’s how I feel 75% of the places I walk into.

I got a vegan glazed from Beacon Donuts and I am still thinking about this fucker. I always say that I’m not a big donut aficionado and prefer a simple sugar or glazed if I’m going to have one at all, but they usually don’t satiate me. This glazed? THIS GLAZED?? It was SUBSTANTIAL. Oh, I am so depressed just thinking about it and knowing that Beacon is so far away from me, because I actually think this might have been the best glazed, vegan or otherwise, that I have ever had in my life.

That, paired with the FLAMING ORANGE mocha in celebration of Trump’s arraignment, and I was feeling pretty fucking good.

You can see the Billy Lilly monster art piece above that blue cabinet!

Fuck. I loved the whole aesthetic of this place. It’s one thing to go full goth if your theme is “horror,” but I do prefer the kitchy, rockabilly classic monster direction that The Brewed went with. Plus, my eyeballs have a crush on the lime green / purple color palette.

And the Hausu nod on the bathroom door back there!

Oh come on, put this on a shirt for me, please. Paint this on the hood of my car.

We also bought a set of horror-themed macarons from Bad Channels, which are sold at The Brewed. These flavors were Trolls II (pistachio), The Blob (PB&J) and MOTHERFUCKING CHILDREN OF THE CORN which is the one I have been coveting from Bad Channels IG feed and I am so stoked it was available. All of them were little fireworks of flavor, but that corn one, holy shit. I LOVE corn-y desserts and sweets so this was already halfway up my alley before I even tasted it.

I was happy with these but Henry thought they were too expensive. I don’t know the going rate for macarons, but 6 of these were like $18. Is that a lot, y or n. I thought that macarons were just $$$ by default because they’re so pretentious and Frenchy, but I don’t know anything about ingredient costs and inflation, etc etc etc.

Henry was buying delicious tamales from a food vendor at a farmer’s market while I took this picture. We saved the tamales for later and ate them at a rest stop on the drive home. We got a poblano & cheese, and SWEET CORN. I thought that were really good but Henry was like being so over the top about it, like, OK we get it, they’re the best tamales you’ve had since the Service or whatever.

Ugh, the only other thing I REALLY wanted to do was go to Pie Pie My Darling which is a vegan bakery and apparently voted best cake in Chicago. However, you can’t just go there, you have to pre-order and then pick it up after the bakery opens at 11am on Saturdays, but we had wanted to be on the road before that. There are several places around the city that sells their stuff, and that weekend the big special was carrot cake, and Chooch LOVES carrot cake. So I thought that would be nice to bring home for him. We went to Liberation Kitchen, which was on the list, but you had to buy the whole cake, slices weren’t available. :( We didn’t want to leave with nothing so we each got a donut. I got the lemon poppyseed donut because 50% of the proceeds from that flavor sold this month go to the Syrian American Medical Society. The donut was good. I wasn’t head over heels for it, but I was happy to contribute to a good cause, so it all evened out in the end.

I forget what Henry got. Flapjack or something. It was good! But these were not even close to Beacon Doughnuts-levels of Morning Dessert Greatness. Next time I go to Chicago, I’m not walking I’m running, to Beacon Doughnuts. Plus, it’s an alley walk-up, which is strangely appealing to me.

Anyway, that was all for us. I gently suggested that we go to Bean just to see if NCT Dream was there, but Henry was like THEY ARE PROBABLY ALREADY ON THEIR WAY TO ATLANTA DO NOT ASK ME AGAIN.

And then we drove home, which was pretty uneventful. We literally just listened to NCT Dream, talked about NCT Dream, cried about NCT Dream, relived NCT Dream the whole way home. SIGH.