I have really been enjoying getting back into tennis, but something has been bothering me and tonight nearly pushed me over the edge. Allow me to don my (K)erin persona for a few minutes and rant the town red:

Chooch and I went to our local tennis courts after work today because we had TO DRIVE OURSELVES and I didn’t want to drive to my beloved Settlers Cabin courts on my own because you have to get on the parkway, etc blah blah. I don’t have the patience for that. So we went down the street to Moore Park, which has three courts. One of the courts was occupied by pickleballers, which was pretty annoying because there are actual pickleball courts there but OH NO they were full. I dunno, maybe you could just….wait for one of those to open up?

Whatever. I figured I could deal with it because there was an empty court between us. But then three BROS arrived with big ass “everyone needs to hear our hilarious banter” voices, brandishing their bullshit PICKLEBALL equipment, and claimed the court in the middle. I almost left within 5 minutes of their arrival after their stupid ass wiffle ball rolled onto our court while we were in the middle of a rally.

But we barely got to play last night before it started raining, and I truly didn’t feel like tooling around in the car looking for a new court, so I sucked it up and we kept on playing our real sport while the douchebag next door was whining loudly about how “the net is too high!” and “the blocks are too wide!” BRO, BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING ON A TENNIS COURT. LITERALLY NAMED AS SUCH BECAUSE IT’S A COURT MEANT FOR TENNIS.

I kept picturing the ringleader as Johnny Bananas from the Real World / The Challenge fame. Just a total LOOK AT ME I’M THE BEST d-bag.

The saddest part is that two people came with their tennis rackets and kind of hung around for a bit, waiting for a court to open up, but then they finally gave up and left. I would have been so pissed off if I rolled up to a tennis court, ready to blow off some work steam, and it was full of pickleball squatters. I feel like I would be too mad to leave, and I would have to do that thing I do where I smile really big and act like I’m ASKING NICELY but really I am SCREAMING LIKE I HAVE A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL ABOUT TO SHOOT OUT FROM MOUTH. It’s Henry and Chooch’s favorite version of me.

I mean, I was diagnosed with explosive anger disorder once upon a time.

Look, I’m all for people wanting to have a fun activity to do together and while I will never consider it a sport, pickle on, Dillbert. But do it on your own designated court. And if all the pickleball courts are taken at the location of your choosing, don’t usurp a tennis court. Go to a fucking old age home and see if they have a court you can use, you know? Or maybe give shuffleboard a spin. If you’re pickling around on a tennis court, you might as well just roll out a blanket and have a picnic on it, because you’re just wasting it. Go play in a fucking driveway.

OR BETTER YET, TRAFFIC.

Meanwhile, the people who were there before us were still there when we left after an hour (you know, because you’re only allowed to use the courts for an hour) and not a single one of them were even slightly sparkling with sweat. BECAUSE IT IS NOT A REAL SPORT!! Chooch and I get so drenched in sweat when we play, that our shirts always end up looking like they’re gradient.

Sorry. I’m trying to be open-minded about this but so far, every pickleballer encounter I’ve had has been aggravating at best.

Hey, it’s me on my 44th birthday. It’s been a pretty low-key day. Nothing from Henry as usual, got rained out on tonight’s tennis sesh, and didn’t do anything adventurous. But, don’t cry for me, Blogatina because we leave for vacation on Thursday so I actually sabotaged my own day by canceling the day trip that we were originally planning on taking to Cleveland for a SHINee 15th anniversary cup-sleeve event. I guess that’s the Lilliputian adult version of me living inside my head that made her concerns heard for once, like, “Bitch, why you about to spend $$$ on a roadtrip four days before you leave for a trip that you couldn’t afford?” And I was like, “OK Tiny Bitch, I hear you. God!”

Anyhow, here’s a quick recap of my birthday.

It started a few days later when Wendy gifted me with a pineapple purse at work on Thursday! I swear to god, some of my quirkiest purses are courtesy of WMM. She has her finger on the gifting pulse, that is FOR SURE.

Then yesterday, I stopped by Megan’s to check in on her cat while Megan and Eric are out of town and she left me birthday goodies! I took this picture of the Robert pendant she got me while I was still at her house as proof that I was already wearing this t-shirt – what a happy accident! She also made me a root beer pie like the one she made for the last pie party! Totally spoiled me!

This afternoon, Janna came over (HER MOM HAD TO DROP HER OFF BECAUSE JANNA LOCKED HER KEYS IN HER CAR YOU GUYS!!!!) and after we had a social hour where I tried once again to get her to identify Haechan from NCT, Henry drove us to Butterwood Bake Consortium which I haven’t been to in several years but always have the fanciest cakes with major tea party ingredient vibes. It was so hard to choose, but I went with a vegan blueberry cake with UBE BUTTERCREAM; Janna got a blueberry tea cake with like, orange curds; Henry got some cardamom tea cake thing; and Chooch got a strawberry cobbler tart or something.

Henry’s tea cake which was also supposed to be mine but then he rudely ate the last bite even though I wanted it and he never even bothered to ask, so REALLY racking up the points here, buddy-bud fuckhead.

Look how beautiful Janna’s was!

Anyway, the one downside was that we had to sit outside in the “courtyard” which was basically like a slab of broken concrete surrounded by weeds and a parking lot, all because these two asshole women were taking up two different group spaces amongst the two of them. One was sitting in an armchair in front of a table meant for 4, reading a book. I guess I can overlook this, but the only bitch WAS EATING WENDY’S at another table meant for a group. JUST BLANANTLY EATING HER DISGUSTING FAST FOOD IN THIS MAJESTIC BAKERY, but OK, bitch. I can’t believe the Bakewood staff was allowing this. Maybe she had ordered a drink from there to get around it, but still, are you fucking kidding me?

Our table and chairs wobbled bigly. On my birthday. But whatever. You shove that big bitch Wendy’s meal in your stupid fucking face. KIND REGARDS,

THIS 44-YEAR-OLD MEGA-(K)ERIN.

P.S. Is this Taemin’s way of acknowledging my birthday??!! Wearing a Robert Smith shirt at the Waterbomb after party?? Normally I’d chalk this up to his stylist being like “here put this on” but this is the second time I’ve seen him wearing a Robert shirt so maybe he actually is a fan??

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Ugh, my inner Karen is at it again, you guys. Henry and I were walking to the post office on Saturday and when we rounded the corner to get onto the Brookline Blvd sidewalk, we were met by SURPRISE CONSTRUCTION.

I don’t know why we were SURPRISED though considering that Brookline has been a construction workers’ playground for like 2 solid years at this point, and I’m starting to wonder if they’re purposely damaging shit just to use for training purposes?? Is Brookline a training center?!!?

OK, so here we were, coming ’round the mountain aka CVS, stepping out of the parking lot and onto the sidewalk, when we see that it’s being actively paved. We are not dum-dum idiot heads. We clearly saw that there were approx. 5 men in neon yellow pouring cement or whatever it was that they were doing. So we stopped walking (OBVIOUSLY) and were assessing which way to go when all of the men yelled HO HO HO HO!!!! (and not in a jolly Santa way like it was Xmas in July) with their arms  jutting out to stop us from…what? We weren’t walking toward to them!

So then some BITCH traffic flagger yelled, “YOU CAN’T GO THAT WAY!”

OH STFU YOU DUMB BITCH, NO FUCKING SHIT!

You guys, I lost my mind and started shouting about these dicks passive aggressively into the air, things like THEY THINK THEY’RE SO FUCKING COOL, OH OK COOL GUYS, KEEP DISRUPTING OUR LIVES! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD! I’M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!

And just then! One of their douchebag trucks farted past us.

OH, LINDY PAVING IS IT?? I screamed that out loud and the guy driving the truck looked at me nervously.

“I’m fucking calling them,” I said and Henry was like, “Um, Ok….probably no one will answer since it’s Saturday.” Like that’s going to deter me? “Oh wow, thanks for that Henry. Maybe I’ll just wait until—OH HOLD ON IT’S RINGING.”

Come on, like I was going to wait until Monday?

AND THEN SOMEONE ANSWERED!! Some stupid man because it’s always stupid men who are trying to upend my damn life. So I go, in a fake friendly BUT AGGRESSIVE SHOUT, “HI LINDY PAVING!!!! CAN YOU TELL YOUR WORKERS ON BROOKLINE BLVD TO STOP BEING ASSHOLES TO PEDESTRIANS THANK YOU” and then I hung up on his ass.

We were walking home when this happened so there were probably people walking nearby who heard this but you know what? I was having a rage blackout so I really didn’t notice.

“Wow,” Henry said. “Feel better?”

You know what? I really fucking did.

Stupid assholes.

I hate being YELLED AT by MEN. Also, their fucking neon yellow triggers me every time! AND APPARENTLY, IT’S A THING:

So, that happened and then Henry had to go to a different post office because at that point I refused to take a detour to go to the one on the Blvd, so way to go LINDY PAVING, now everyone has to suffer because of you.

Then I met Debby, Mar, and Megan at the Speckled Egg for brunch (I mean, it was 1:30 so can’t we just call it lunch and move on?). It’s the Union Trust building downtown and you know what? I don’t believe I have ever been in there!

The location and the company were the highlights.

The stafff was kind of….spacey and the other patrons were all basically influencers it seemed like.

I got whatever this is, which was delicious – stewed tomatoes with Moroccan spices, poached eggs, and mushrooms that were like those crispy onion things people put on top of casseroles in the 90s. Really delicious but I was immediately hungry afterward.

Megan told me I would love the bathroom so I went in even though I didn’t have to go, and she was right!

Anyway, I felt a lot calmer at this point of the day, and I got to tell Mar and Debby about the engagement (I actually saw Debby a few weeks ago when she came to my house to drop off a purse she made for me and it took everything in my power not to tell her then!) so that was fun! Megan of course already knew so she had to sit through the story again – sorry I exist!

I love that we meet up semi-regularly. I was so sad when they both retired, so it’s really nice that we get to see them actually more now than we had since the pandemic started, really!

OK, it’s really hot in my house and I need to stick my head in the freezer. Bye.

Fingers crossed that this trip actually happens unlike our last international coaster trip which was booked for…the beginning of April 2020. I’m superstitious in general so I have been having mild little fits of panic over this. But at the same time, I want to open my front door and holler ONE MORE WEEK AND YOU CAN EAT MY DUST PITTSBURGH!

Just kidding. I would be nicer, maybe.

Anyway, after this coaster tour, the three of us are hanging back in Stockholm, and then taking an overnight ferry to Turku, Finland where we will begin the last portion of the trip exploring Helsinki, some of its surrounding islands, possibly Tampere (game time decision) plus a daytrip to Tallinn, Estonia.

I’m excited to dust off my vacation journal and then crack open the spare one I bought in case I run out of room in the first! I’m excited to rack up new inside jokes with Chooch at Henry’s expense! I’m excited to HOPEFULLY make new friends within Coaster Crew! I’m excited for new #carouselfies, being in new-to-me countries, eating so many cinnamon rolls, and buying Pippi merch in Sweden! Obviously excited for all the coasters too!

Not excited about leaving the cats. :( Or the airports. Or the payments I will be making for the next too many years on the loan I took out to pay for this. But, MEMRIES. I want Chooch to have all of the experiences while he is still living with us!

Ahhhhh. I’m hyper. I can’t wait to send postcards! I’m going to be really annoying (moreso) for a while but please know that I will also be very hyper aware of that.

I’m not tryna brag or anything but Chooch and I just came home from one of my best trips to the tennis courts yet. I am finally starting to get the power back in my forehands and Chooch was actually playing seriously and not acting like he was twirling around in a baseball field which is what he was doing the first half of our court time on Sunday. I felt really good about rallies!

Then some family of four took the court behind us and whipped out their pickleball gear. That was….something else. The sounds were v. distracting. The guys playing on the court next to us were there the very first two times we came out to these courts so that felt special. I wonder if they recognized us and saw our improvements?!?! One of them sounds like EXACTLY like Bill Hader to the point where I kept feeling surprised every time I looked over and saw it wasn’t actually him.

Anyway, I felt really good out there tonight! I mean, I still feel like an almost-44-year-old bitch getting the run-around from her 17-year-old son, but still! I think I’m in OK shape for old lady

In other news:

• someone from own goddamn department at work called me KELLY in an email today and I about skyrocketed through the roof. Seriously. So fucking pissed off. And they didn’t even catch themselves and apologize, either. Dead to me.
• this fan-made video for “Like We Just Met” is so pure. I am definitely getting an NCT Dream tattoo if I can ever find someone in this shitty city that does the style I want…

• ….or I can just wait until we go back to Seoul, which might be sooner than I thought because HENRY AND I MUTUALLY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED THERE. It just makes sense. I know I have posted about my imaginary never-wedding over the years but now that it’s a reality, I just can’t picture it, you guys. Not that I would have ever thought I’d go the traditional route, but I can’t even imagine anything out-of-the-box. Trying so hard to get Janna to go with us!! I might start selling Henry’s plasma and put the proceeds into a Ship Janna to Korea fund.
• I feel like there was something else I was bargaining Henry’s plasma for recently….
• One week and one day until we go on vacation! I’m fucking stressed about it, which is how I know I have SOME amount of “adult” in me. But I’m mostly excited and I hope it goes as planned! I don’t take anything for granted these days. I’m going to try to micro-blog while we’re away, and maybe even live-blog a time or two!
• I think I finally found an eye doctor that I like!!! I had my first appointment with her yesterday after work and she was awesome and actually listened to my concerns about depth perception (Chooch thinks it’s just an excuse when we’re playing tennis but I fucking swear to god, I cannot tell where the ball is sometimes!!). Anyway, that was the first time I had the dilation thing in quite some time and wow, get your eyes dilated and then come to my house. That’s all I’m saying. It felt like I was on psychedelics.
• My birthday is Sunday! I think all I want to do is maybe go to Apteka and then Butterwood for cake? Usually, I try to go away for my bday but I think I can count our upcoming trip as a semi-bday thing.
• Speaking of playing tennis on Sunday, we were the only people there and the real Erin McEnroe came out in FULL FORCE. Finally, freedom to fly the FUCCCCCCCCCKS!!!!! and just generally scream and throw tantrums. Apologies though to the man and his two dogs who were walking past at one point and jumped in fear at one of my banshee shrieks. Chooch was like, “OMG calm down!!” but yo, this was teenage Erin being frustrated at the tennis club coming to visit. It felt good but also scary, lol. I was a monster back then. JUST back then. Not now. Certainly not. No. I’m a fucking patient angel baby.

OK, I think that’s it for now. I have to go back to doing last minute planning for our vacation, which is either going to be a mess or a hot mess. Only time will tell!

Hello. This is a quick check in for me to, you know, quickly chronicle the haps of last weekend in case I need to look back on certain details at some point in the future. (We’ve been over this before but examples would be: 1. To prove an alibi: 2. To win an argument. 3. The world as we know it has collapsed and Im in need of a random happy memory to remind me that things were once only half-ablaze.)

(Um. Author’s Note but when I wrote “ablaze” my mind flashed back to the year of the double aughts, the first year of our Lord Y2K, when I had met some guy named JOHNNY BLAZE on WebTV – haha – and he became obsessed with me but in a cute way and not in the boiling-bunny sense, and sometimes I would come home and he would have notes taped to my front door like ERIN PLEASE CALL ME I AM BEGGING and I would be like “Aw cute” and then crumble it up and throw it in the trash, and then it happened once after I started dating Henry and he for some reason did NOT think this was cute.)

I actually have no idea what we did last Saturday aside from Chooch having sailing and then we went and got boba at Kung Fu at some point that afternoon. I vaguely recall attempting to drink beer that night and then realizing my newly-developed beer palate was a fluke and I just had a glass of cider instead. We were also researching some of the islands around Helsinki and in one of the videos, these people were walking on a trail and there was A SNAKE which ended up being some harmless BUT!!! I accidentally saw a comment where someone from Finland said that they have VIPERS there and now I am obsessed with this in the worst way possible. So now that is all I’ll be doing while I’m there, trying not to step on vipers. Walking on tiptoes around the vipers. Catch me wearing those plastic Romper Room cups on my feet all over Finland.

But on Sunday! Henry and I went for a walk on a bike trail thing out by…somewhere. Round Hill. Whatever area that is. The trail itself is boring and I had regertz as soon as we started walking because we have been there before but I forgot how dumb it is. And then you have bikers screaming ON YOUR LEFT and jingling their prissy bells. I mean, it was still nice to get out and go for a walk, and we talked about our vacation and what to do about this wedding that we are now expected to have.

Sunday was #NationalIceCreamDay which seems to happen a lot, so of course I wanted to get ice cream after our walk. Henry was like, “Where do you want to get ice cream from?” and right as I gave him my canned response* to everything, I immediately regretted it.

*(“I’m up your butt.”)

Henry groaned.

“OK, no. That doesn’t work this time,” I said, quickly retracting it.

Then we drove around and eventually stopped at COUNTRY CUSTARD COTTAGE & GIFT SHOP. We both got CLUSTERS which I guess is just their version of a Blizzard and they were good (Nutty Buddy and Banana Cream Pie) but just like the walking trail, I had regertz and wish I had just ordered a custard without all the mixins, etc.

Some old man got there right before us and said, “YEAH, I’LL HAVE  MY REGULAR” and the girls behind the counter were like, “Sir, yes, sir.” His “regular” was a sundae of some sort and now I am aiming for the day when I am an elder and have a “regular” order at the local ice cream shop.

On the way home, Henry was like, “LET’S STOP AT ROUND HILL AND LOOK AT THE AMINALS” and yes, that is spelled correctly. I was like, “Oh ho! Henry is actually suggested that we do something of his own accord, can’t wait to write about THIS in the diary” so we did that and it was pretty anti-climactic because bitch, where are all the aminals these days, Round Hill?? I mean, they still have some but I thought there used to be like, rabbits and sheep and cows, but OK.

Apparently, we forgot to give Warden Chooch our full itinerary, because when we got to Round Hill, he began sending disgruntled WHERE ARE YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE 5 HOURS AND SAID YOU WERE JUST GOING FOR A WALK texts.

I’d like to believe that he was just concerned, but I know him and can assure you that he wanted fed or something.

Well, I think that pretty much sums up last weekend. We’ll have to do this again sometime. Bitch.

P.S. Because I was wearing my old Hands Like Houses shirt, we put them on in the car for old times’ sake and wow, I still really like them. Any time they were at Warped Tour, you could catch me front row. (Well, front row, and off to the side. In my safety zone.)

I had the day off last Thursday so Chooch and I met Kara downtown at Sally Ann’s for breakfast. First of all, you know Chooch must really like you if he is willing to get up before 7am on a rando summer day and then take the T downtown because his MOTHER doesn’t want to bother with parking. And by “you,” I don’t mean “me.” I mean very specifically: “Kara.”

This was only the second time I have taken the T since the pandemic and it was not great. I was hoping it wouldn’t be crowded since we caught the one that came right before 7:30, but I was WRONG. Chooch and I got seats at least, just not together.

Anyway, we arrived pretty much the same as Kara, who we saw emerging from a nearby parking garage.

“Wow,” Chooch muttered. “SHE drove here. You made it sound like it was virtually impossible.”

I DON’T LIKE DRIVING/PARKING DOWNTOWN, OK?? SUE ME.

We were the first breakfast customers so we had endless seating options, and let me tell you, this place is an IG influencer’s dream when it comes to vibes or whatever the fuck. I thought the booths in the back looked cute and secluded, almost like you were walking along a dock, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But then we quickly realized that each booth was set up with a TV and a vintage gaming console, so we moved FOUR TIMES in order to get one that had OG Nintendo and two controllers.

Then Kara immediately schooled Chooch on how to play the golf game correctly. (If you ask Chooch, he was playing it perfectly because he created the game and knows everything, so.)

Our waitress, some tiny 20-something who came springing out of thin air and scared the shit out of us with her extremely animated exuberance, arrived to scream rainbows and disco balls into our faces while somehow simultaneously asking for our drink orders. It was…a lot. She was…too much. Like her preferred mode of transportation was pogo-sticking from cloud to cloud in Camelot with the Care Bears.

I could tell Kara was not a fan. And that was even before she playfully slapped Kara’s shoulder and called her BABE.

My favorite part was when our waitress (I can’t remember her name, but she seemed like a Madison or Piper or Brandeeee) said that she hadn’t had any caffeine yet that morning?!!? Even Chooch pulled himself away from his video games long enough to question, “What is this broad’s deal? Are you noticing this too?”

Some kind of fancy millennial toast thing that was actually very delicious but I will always be confused about “designer” toast and how much it costs. Kara got avocado toast and it was on some THICC BOI bread. Chooch got the veganified Sally Ann’s breakfast plate thing and said it was good but apparently there is no vegan butter option so they gave him dry ass toast with jam, and I just found out that day that Chooch HATES JAM/JELLY on toast.

Actually, I think I might have known that and just forgot. But now I’m having crippling flashbacks of a heated discussion about this several years ago, where I was left feeling super disgusted by his choices.

I wanted to stay downtown for a bit (even though it’s a garbage dump down there now) after we parted ways with Kara but Chooch was like, “I HAVE SHIT TO DO” so we had to immediately catch a T back home. :(

(His “shit to do” was “computer games” with his dumb friends. We *did* go to South Park courts later that afternoon to play tennis though and it was one of the best tennis’ing we’ve done so far!)

Oh!! I almost forgot, but Kara got me NCT and SHINee pins from a Kpop store in LA!

And I finished a book that day too. I can’t remember which one it was but I know I liked it?? Was it Happy Place, maybe?? Ugh my mind is like a fucking prune these days. Boo.

Chooch will vehemently disagree with me on this because why would we ever share an opinion, but I have found that the courts at Settlers Cabin are my favorite and have officially declared them my “home court.” Never mind the fact that there are courts within one mile of my house in either direction. The 20-minute drive is worth it to me because there are four courts, plus a double-sided wall for solo-hitting, and it’s secluded in a wooded area of the park. Plus, the bathrooms are CLEAN AND SPACIOUS and even include a little locker room-ish area with seats. And, because I am just getting back into the game, I have been pretty self-conscious and don’t want to be playing on a court next to a playground or a busy road next to a traffic light. I AM NOT READY TO BE SEEN, OK?

Several times, we have encountered the same people there so that was cool, like we’re regulars now, you know? I always wanted to be a “regular” somewhere.

Last week, I want to say it was Wednesday evening, we arrived at the same time as a couple, presumably in their mid-30s. We were still in the parking lot getting our stuff out of the car when I already knew that the FEMALE portion of the couple was going to be a problem. It hadn’t even been 30 seconds and she was already getting on my nerves, bigly. And then we saw that they had PICKLEBALL equipment, so that ramped up the annoyance level.

They walked behind us to the courts and I fucking swear to god, this woman’s loud-ass voice, I couldn’t even. Right out of the gate, it was a work drama bitch-fest, mostly just on her end, with the guy murmuring “Yeah” and “Wow” here and there.  It was like she was setting up camp inside my skull, opening up the crinkliest package of graham crackers for her bitch-s’mores, lighting up the fire inside of me to do the roasting.

Immediately, they chose the court behind us and I said loudly to Chooch, “Move down to the next court, I can’t deal with this.” Initially, Chooch said I was being dramatic, but they (she) began to wear on him pretty soon after this. Especially when it became apparent that these two WERE HAVING AN OFFICE AFFAIR!! OMG, I kept seeing them meet at the net to embrace and make out.  It was all so much, that paired with her “I need everyone to be aware of me and the important things I’m mouth-farting into the already CORRUPT air” boombox voice had me so agitated. I DON’T CARE ABOUT STACEY’S PTO or whatever else she was bitching about! Who cares why Stacey is taking time off?! Maybe Stacey is getting skin tags removed!!! IT IS HER PTO TO USE, JUST PLAY YOUR FUCKING PICKLEBALL AND STFU, MELISSA, JESUS CHRIST.

*(I know her name is Melissa because she verbally flagellated herself by name when she hit her stupid NOT-TENNIS BALL into the net. “Oh, come on, Melissa!” *giggles and skips to the net for kissy time*)

“Ugh, she’s so fucking annoying!” I yelled.

“She can hear you! She is only RIGHT OVER THERE!” Henry hissed, and you know what, Henry? Like Stacey and her PTO, I gave no fucks. Let the bitch hear me. My son and I were busy training for the DELULU WIMBELDON HOSTED EXCLUSIVELY INSIDE OUR MINDS, so COULD THE CROWD QUIET DOWN PLEASE.

(Great, now I have “Quiet Down” in my head.)

Meanwhile, some middle-aged doucher rolled up with his broad-trophy. And by “rolled up” I mean that the parking lot was not close enough for this asshole, so he drove past the lot and INTO THE FUCKING GRASS in front of the courts. Here, let me show you an illustration:

Makes sense though, seeing as though it looked like he was traveling to an international PICKLEBALL TOURNY, what with the amount of baggage he brought with him. Yes, of course he and his picklebabe were there for there for some sweet ass wiffle ball thwopping action. Specifically, he was there to INSTRUCT her by double-paddling balls against the wall. (I don’t know why I made the wall red in my DIAGRAM when my BeReal up there clearly shows that it’s green?)

These two were dressed in crisp, freshly-pressed yuppie athletic wear. She was wearing a prissy little visor and khaki shorts and he was dressed like he was going to take the yacht out for a spin after. Even though he was RIGHT THERE on the other side of the fence from me, I kept imagining that it was actually Ben Stiller reprising his role in a Dodgeball reboot, but make it Pickleball. And she, bless her heart, went through the whole rigamarole of stretching, squatting, side-bending, just for him to mansplain the “sport” to her and then tell her “NO, DO IT LIKE THIS. OK, MOVE DOWN THERE NOW” after she was cramping his wallspace.

She eventually gave up and sat at the picnic table, doom-scrolling on her phone.

Then, and this normally would have PISSED ME OFF, they lugged out a huge Bluetooth stereo. It almost looked like a karaoke machine, like this was no little portable speaker. It was a whole-ass UNIT. So, they fire this bad boy up and suddenly, Chooch and I are hitting balls to the soundtrack of KISS FM.

Now, the reason this didn’t anger me was because it served as a distraction against MELISSA’S incessant jawing. If they had put on a country station, or like, some jam band, then perhaps there’d have been an issue. Then they changed it to Khalid, and turns out, I like Khalid. (I had to ask Chooch at one point, “Who sings this” and he said, “Khalid?! EVERY SONG HAS BEEN KHALID.” Sorry for being a stupid old lady who only knows Korean hits, son.)

Henry still maintains that he thought this was incredibly rude and uncouth of them and he’s probably right because they were playing it pretty loudly and you know, how presumptuous to assume that everyone there wanted to listen to your music.

Chooch said at one point, they were slow-dancing. Sad I missed it.

Meanwhile, MELISSA and whoever were packing it up and I was so relieved. “They must have MOTEL RESERVATIONS,” I said loudly, and Henry was like, “OK, stop.” Chooch laughed though and that is all that matters.

Then their court was quickly replaced by a grizzled coach and his teenaged protege (j/k, she was not very good) named JULIE. The coach was giving big Richard Dawson vibes, IYKYK. Like, to the point where after Captain and Tenille packed up their DJ equipment and peeled their car out of the grass, I was nervous to leave the girl alone with him. Luckily, we saw that her mom was sitting in a parked car, waiting for her, so that made me feel better.

“He looks like he just the bar and came straight here,” Henry chuckled as we walked past their court on our way out. Leave it to Henry to chuckle at what could have been A GROOMING IN PROGRESS.

They were there again last night, and I told Chooch he should ask the dude if he could join the lesson.

“Nah, I’m good,” Chooch said. And then there were two college-aged-ish guys on the court behind us and one of them kept roaring FUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! every time he missed a shot, which was a lot. They actually had arrived at the same time we did but Chooch goes, “No, they’re leaving. You can tell because that one guy is so sweaty.” Nope, just arriving! The sweaty guy was also the FUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! guy.

Bonus court content: Two weekends ago, a grandma brought her two young grandsons to hit against the wall while she sat at the picnic table with her dog. At one point, the youngest one had to go to the bathroom so she let him go off alone. After a few minutes, she started to get alarmed and asked the older one, “Does Ollie always take this long?”

“Is he pooping?” the kid asked.

The grandma said, “I’m not sure, I think so?”

“Oh, well if he’s POOPING, then yes.” I don’t know why, but this just cracked me up so bad. Ollie and the Slow Bowel Movements.

Jesus Christ, I’m having a lot of fun immersing myself back into the tennis world.

I’m ready for my NCT Dream sprout tattoo. I’m ready to legally change my last name to Czennie. I’m ready to sell Henry’s plasma for a one-way ticket to Seoul.

I’m ready to do the most right now, this new album has me so fucking manic and fanatic. I listened to it on my morning walk and was crying and laughing in public, which you know, looks normal here in Brookline. No eyes were batted.

And now we have the full version of Poison, which was teased a few weeks ago with a 1:30 long track video. Oh my god, the way I wish they would have just given us a full video.

Is this my favorite NCT Dream song???? I think it is!!!!

These vocals are disgusting. Kill me.

They even have a song for Kpop dad, Henry, called Pretzel (🤍).

Between NCT Dream new-new, Brookline Blvd words of encouragement, and the wrench I found on the side of the road, I have all the tools I need to get me through about dumb week.

I forgot that we went to Kennywood after work two weeks ago, with Chooch this time. We were only there from 6pm-8:30ish so there is not much to report on, but I did take some pictures since it was our first trip of the season as a WHOLE FAMILY. Wow, so sentimental. Cry about it.

Anyway, I’ll try to avoid as many words as possible, but I do want to mention that we split up on the Racer. Henry and I had the back row on one train, and Chooch had the back row on the other one. Because the ops for the Racer are hopelessly slow, we had enough time chilling in the station for the two girls in front of Chooch to turn around and start chatting him up. The one who was doing the most talking was the one named KYLIE but I want to believe that her name is spelled KILEY because KILEY + RILEY.

Henry was trying to get me to stop ogling but I couldn’t, because I love observing how Chooch converses with people who were not responsible for giving him life. It’s always a good reminder that he is….HUMAN.

But yeah, that girl was totally cute and made a big production of saying goodbye to him AFTER THEIR TRAIN LOST. OURS WON, MOTHERFUCKER.

The pizza place got a glow-up!

The pizzas still mostly taste the same but now they’re “french bread” shaped and, according to Henry, cost more. My one complaint was that they were too saucey. Chooch actually agreed with me.

Also, before we ate, I made damn sure that I ran to the restroom to wash my hands real good because in a fit of delusion, I slapped some guy’s hand while I was in line for the Jack Rabbit, as his train rolled past us through the station. WHAT WAS I THINKING. DID COVID TEACH ME NOTHING?? I practically kept that hand in my pocket until I was able to wash it, don’t worry.

(Show me a park that still keeps their hand sanitizers filled. Honestly.)

Here’s Henry coming off of his favorite ride at the park.

You can’t tell because Henry takes the worst pictures, but Chooch and I are in the back row of Thunderbolt. I don’t think I ride this at all last season!?!? I could be wrong.

Waiting for our most favorite ride, Phantom’s Revenge. <3

Henry successfully blocking BOTH Chooch and me. Also, his expression never changes even on roller coasters?!?

This was probably the longest line we stood in and it wasn’t worth it. Bring back the Enterprise. Also, this was my first time seeing in real life….I don’t know how to explain them. But like, young trashy Kardashian-esque influencers?!?! One had really terrible lip fillers. I was scared. It was wild, that’s for sure.

Both Henry and Chooch jumped out of the frame. Wow, cool.

I love the Musik Express so much. “You’re not even trying to hold yourself back!!” Henry cried at one point – like, no shit? I wasn’t trying to pretend like I was?!

On our way to get one last beverage refill before heading out.

And that concludes our second trip to Kennywood of the 2023 season. Perhaps someday we will have time to spend a full day there!

Buddy’s got one hand on him’s walnoot

And the other one is givin a peace sign

Sorry. I cracked myself up for a good while earlier when Buddy came to visit and these revamped lyrics trumpeted out of my mouth. Henry was like “ok.”

I wanted to tell my Internet friends (read: YOU) about the three dumb things that happened at the tennis courts the other night but it was around 90 degrees today and I wasn’t inspired to do anything other but sit here and read with sweat in my eyes. We did take a boba break in the afternoon so that was nice.

Also, here was Chooch’s sailing OOTD. I wasn’t awake yet when he left this morning so I didn’t know that he took my Versace sunglasses that I bought in Italy in the 90s??!

In other news, it seems that I am not actually on the beer bus after all. I have struck out with every beer I sipped tonight and then said, “you know what? I’m just going to have kombucha. I need something refreshing and beer ain’t it, son.”

So far, the only beer that I liked so much I can’t stop thinking about it was Hitchhiker’s Jelly Donut. Henry went to the nearby bottleshop earlier and they don’t have it anymore. I guess I should just stick with wine and cider.

Or, you know, water.

1. The Neighbors – Ania Ahlborn

My second book of hers and I just don’t get it. I gave this a 2. Completely unforgettable. No really – I can’t remember reading this AT ALL.

2. Ohio – Stephen Markley

Wow. Wow wow wow. My goodreads review:

I am going to need some to process this, but holy shit this was a crazy ride. Every time one chapter would connect to one from earlier in the book, I would gasp a little. I have been reading a lot of books lately where the characters are all written like effing Sims, the dialogue is cringy and unnatural, etc. I needed this book more than I realized.

The writing was SO GOOD that I had to skip over some of the more graphic parts because I was actually screaming out loud. (TW: cutting, among many other triggers – rape, drugs, war.)

I immediately made Henry read this because I needed to talk about it so badly that it made my stomach hurt. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this book. I fucking screamed at some parts and there were times when I was listening to it on audio while out on walks and would have to be extra conscious of the faces I was pulling – maybe this was too tense to read in public!

3. Where the Blame Lies – Mia Sheridan

This was a tough one for me because while I appreciated the plot, I really didn’t care for the writing style. Apparently this author writes primarily romance and that was pretty apparent. Corny AF dialogue and sex scenes. Flat characters. But the twist was interesting. Megan lent this one to me, and also the sequel which I haven’t started yet and am unsure if I am that committed.

4. The Couple at No. 9 – Claire Douglas

Pretty damn good. I rarely read a British thriller that I don’t like, is all I’m saying.

(I don’t know that I would go as far as to say that this is “hold-your-breath tense” as old Timmy Weaver says on the cover blurb, but it was definitely something different!)

5. Before She Knew Him – Peter Swanson

Peter Swanson is hit-or-miss for me, but this was a hit. I did guess the twist about halfway through but it was still enjoyable.

6. The House in the Pines – Ana Reyes

Reese’s Book Club pick, really? Someone’s Goodreads review for this just says, “Reese, you ok?” This was trash, a total waste of time. Messy plot, neither thrilling nor scary. How this got published is beyond me. I have nothing good to say about it.

7. Mouth to Mouth – Antoine Wilson

A pretty fast read. The whole book is just some dude running into an old college friend at JFK and then randomly telling him this long-ass story about how he once saved some man from drowning and then became obsessed with him, to the point of forcing their paths to cross again. It was…fine? The writing was fine. The idea was cool.  But it was also kind of pretentious, and I imagine this hits different for men of a certain ilk, men of a certain beard-length, men with Father John Misty records spinning on the player, men with brandy in decanters.

This just really felt like a man’s book. I don’t know how else to explain. Their were large swaths of it where I found myself drifting off, thinking about NCT Dream performing “Quiet Down.” Thinking about my squirrels. Thinking about what else I had in my TBR stack.

I didn’t hate it. Didn’t love it. Three stars because the writing was good.

8. Chasing the Boogeyman – Richard Chizmar

FIVE STARS. Good lord, the way I was sucked into this and kept forgetting it wasn’t real. It’s written like it’s real, like the author really grew up in a town where young girls were being abducted and killed. Each chapter even ended up photos of the town, the girls, the police involved in the investigation. IT FELT SO REAL. I loved it – it was chilling, entertaining, and HOW WAS THIS NOT REAL.

I went back and forth between reading the physical book and listening to the audio and recommend both. The narration was really great and conversational, like Chizmar was just chilling in my house, telling me all matter-of-factly about this serial killer targeting girls in his neighborhood. Oh, it was so good. It almost had a Wonder Years vibe to it, but make it dark and set in the 80s.

9. What Happened to Ruthy Ramirez – Clare Jimenez 

One star. This was AWFUL. The writing was sloppy. The whole thing was sloppy, really. Gratuitous swearing. The premise sounded so good: Ruthy Ramirez never comes home from school from day in the 90s. Fast forward to present day and her two remaining sisters are convinced that they found her on some trashy reality TV show and become obsessed with bringing her home. Sounds like it could be madcap, right?

NOPE. This was so goddamn boring and worthless. Didn’t like a single character. Didn’t care one way or another if Ruthy was dead or alive.

10. Local Girl Missing – Claire Douglas

When I saw that the audio for this was available on Hoopla, after liking her other book so much that I read earlier in the month, I thought WHAT THE HELL and gave it a go. It was OK! I didn’t like it as much as the other one but it was still a pretty decent thriller.

11. Love in the Big City – Sang Young Park

A series of connected short stories from the POV of being gay in South Korea? Yes please. I gave each story 4 stars, but the book as a whole was a 5 for me. The first chapter about Jaehee was my favorite. My least favorite was the one that focused mostly on caring for his mom while dating an older man. I was sobbing by the end of the book.

Also, I fucking miss Korea so much.

12. All the Dangerous Things – Stacy Willingham

Meh. My second Willingham book. It’s not that she’s terrible, but I think she tries to have too much going on. Also, this book has so many similarities to her first book, A Flicker in the Dark, which I did like. It was decent enough but the ending just didn’t feel satisfying. And I also didn’t really care that her baby was kidnapped, how awful am I!?!

But again, too much going on. Nefarious husband stuff, a super convoluted backstory with a murder/death?, suspicious detective, cold case podcast guy met on a plane and now suddenly lives with her? Just…so much was happening. Calm down, Stacy Willingham. Save some of that shit for the next book(s).

Dang.

I found some more old-ass vacation pictures from the 90s and thought, wouldn’t it be useless/pointless to post a picture in conjunction with the utterly worthless shit I wrote from that same day in my vacation journal? I read some of it out loud to Henry last night and his expressions of sheer disgust and annoyance was the only answer I needed. Just a reminder that Sharon was my aunt (mom’s older sis) and that I will be transcribing this exactly as written to stay true to Erin v.1993, so “wuz” instead of “was,” etc.

Buckle up, buttercup. This is going to be a train wreck.

Today, Sharon woke me ↑ at 6:30! So I had to rush.It’s 7:20 now & she’s still in the shower. I’m watching some business conversation on the Super Channel. I can’t open the windows :( Hurry up, Shar!

God, Sharon’s in a mood. She came in & I jokingly said, “Can I light a match?” and she said, “NO!” & closed her eyes & shook her head like she does. Then she blames me for her stupid hairdryer blowing out. Oh darn, she can’t dry her precious hair (that looks like a horse’s tail! Ha ha!)

We just came back from breakfast  & there wuz no one there! :) I had a fig, fruit cocktail, bacon, eggs, a French toast thing, a bite outta some kind of sweet bread that tasted awful but Sharon liked it. She’ll eat anything.

Now she’s yelling at me for not bringing my own hairdryer. Maybe it would help if I had my own hairdryer to bring! God, it’s not my fault it didn’t work. It worked fine for MOI. Maybe it’s be’cuz she uses it too long on her horse mane. I’m leaving. Goodbye.

Ugh – I was probably only gone for 5 minutes. 10 at the nmost. This hotel is so boring! Not like the Anglo-American Hotel in Florence. That was classy.

“Alice in Wonderland” – a Spanish cartoon – was just on. Alice looked ugly! She had straight red hair.

Sharon makes me do all of her dirty work. I had to go check what time we leave. Which is, by the way, 9:30. Does Sharon even thank me? Noooo!

Me & Sharon were pondering after breakfast about why I always get white spots on the backs of my legs. She said she never noticed them before but they’re probably from the time my mom tried to bleach me when I wuz a youngin’. Har har, Sharon.

“Tiny Toons” is on in Spanish. It’s the one where Hampton’s on a diet & all kinds of food is saying “Eat me” to him & he goes insane.

Whoa! It’s a miracle – Sharon’s ↑! Every day after breakfast, she has to sleep. Then I’m stuck trying to amuse myself & there’s not much to do here in the hotel. Oh yeah, she has a “horsetail” on today. U G H! Megabeast.

[2023 Erin here: I have/had this theory where anytime Sharon and my one friend back then, Spring, wore their hair in ponytails, they were bound to be assholes that day. Totally set the tone. Also, I got “megabeast” from the movie Drop Dead Fred which my brother Ryan and I were obsessed with.]

It’s about 9:30 & we’re on the bus, Before, I was sitting in the lobby w/ Sharon & the one lady we walked with last nite. Then Shar left me & all these really tall people from the other tour group flocked over & I got scared. I told Sharon & she yelled at me. How rude.

Our guide’s name is Ima (short for Immaculate Conception, so she said we’re in good hands) & she’s a very good friend of Dave’s.

[2023 Erin again: Dave was the tour guide that we had for the whole trip we were on, but sometimes we would have local guides that specialized in whatever excursions we were going on, etc.]

Thank god, Sharon said we don’t have to go to the bullfight tonite. How swell. I don’t wanna see any animals killed in front of me!

They have orange trees here to make marmalade. Ooooooh…All the pigeons here are white.

We just stopped at the Spanish Pavilion & Sharon was in her glory cuz there were so many tiles. She was actually nice to me! We stayed for 10 Spanish minutes (20 American minutes!).

Ugh, it’s 1:00 & we just got back on the bus from one Hellish tour! Sharon was rude & had that Stop-What-You’re-Doing-&-Listen-To-Me-I-Know-It-All attitude whenever she talked to people. When Jill asked me my name, Sharon told her. Then they were talking about that little guy that’s in the Duncan (sic) Donuts  commercial  & they couldn’t think of his name but I knew it. [2023 Erin: DID I THO???? I certainly don’t know it now.]  Then Ima asked me where I’m from & Sharon pushed me out of the way after I said Pgh & she said TWA. What a loser. Then just now she asked if I wanna go on a ferry ride (no) & I said, “Yeah whatever” so now she’s getting on me. Whenever I talk to her she always says “Huh?” & I HATE repeating myself, just like my mom. [2023 Erin: First, TWA was the tour group we were with; second, I STILL HATE REPEATING MYSELF. *side-eyes Henry*] I can’t wait till Aug 1. It’s not the same w/o Pappap & Grandma.

God it’s 96° out! Ugh! I don’t feel good now.

Dave says that our hotel in Tangier is facing the ocean :)

Ah, this is the life! Sharon went to the bank so I came back to the hotel by myself & now I’m maxxing & relaxing. I’m sure Sharon is probably socializing right now. That really sickens me. [2023 Erin: lol ok sociopath, calm down.]

Oh my gosh! Right after I wrote that [insert arrows pointing to ‘maxxing and relaxing’], Fresh Prince came on!

Sharon left about 30 min ago to check out the menu at some restaurant. I tried to sleep but that was unsuccessful. Oh yeah, Sharon’s wising up & now she’s being nice. She even took me to the bar for a Black Russian. Ahem.

[2023 Erin: I have to hope I was being hyperbolic, lol.]

The Super Channel isn’t very super. “The Mix” is on now & me & Shar haven’t even heard of any of the songs or singers. But when she left, “Numb” by U2 & “What’s ↑” by 4 Non Blondes cane on. And “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak (I only know it cuz it was on a movie) & a song by Lisa Stansfield.

[2023 Erin: To this day, when I hear that 4 Non Blondes jam, I think of watching the video in Spain, and also lol @ “on a movie.”]

Yea! It’s 10 to 4 & the grocery store opens at 4:30 so Sharon will probably stop.

Sharon came back at 4:00pm & she took me to get ice cream. How sweet. But actually I think she just wanted to go back cuz she thought the guy that worked there wuz cute. She got tutti-frutti (ew) & I got raspberry sorbet (yum). Now she’s sleeping.

Oh yeah, it’s 102.2 F out there! [insert sweating frowny face]

Bliss….Sharon brought Coke back :)  I think deep down she’s still mad about the hairdryer cuz she’s letting her hair air dry right now!

I’ve been watching “On the Air” since about 4:30pm & people are calling in to sing. Some of them are pretty good. They’re playing decent videos too. Aw it’s 6:10 & this is over at 6:30 :( We  leave for the flamenco at 7:10 tho.

I just wrote a letter to Clive Pearse so I can win an “On the Air” t-shirt :)

[2023 Erin: Fun fact, I didn’t win the t-shirt but I did receive an autographed picture of Clive for my efforts!]

It’s 20 to 7 & we’re ready. Well, Shar’s still “primping.” Spare me. Her hair seemed to have dried FINE w/o a dryer. She used my moisturizer cuz she didn’t feel like getting hers, ugh!

Well, it’s 10:30 & the flamenco was “perty” cool. Me & Nick were one of the only non-dressy people. I think the guy dancers were kinda queer [2023 Erin: *slaps 1993 Erin*] but Sharon kept saying they had nice butts. Some people left early to go to the bull fight. When it was over, Shar decided that weren’t going on the bus & that we’d just go straight to McDonald’s. But she went the wrong way & I kept saying, “Sharon, isn’t it back there?” So finally, she turned around. After we ate, we were gonna go back to the hotel to get money, then go for ice cream. We crossed the bridge & we were at the Rio Grande Restaurant that we saw last nite. Somewhere after that, Sharon led us the wrong way because we were so far off it wuz pathetic! We were in the Spanish projects! [2023 Erin: wow, this paragraph has it all. Maybe there’s some upcoming ableism for a pretty tight trifecta.] All Sharon would do wuz pretend she wuz a flamenco dancer. I kept saying, “Let’s get a cab.”

[2023 Erin: Friendly reminder that I was the 13-year-old and Sharon was my adult guardian responsible for my safety on this international vacation.]

Then she saw a Ford dealership & said, “We’re on the right track.” So we’re walking & some guy says something to Sharon & start FOLLOWING US. So Sharon kept saying, “Walk faster.” Then he gave ↑. Finally she asked a guy for directions & by that time we were so far off it wuz unbelievable. We saw a tennis shop tho. [2023 Erin: 1993 Erin had clear priorities.]

Then we asked 2 ladies & when we did, we saw the church that’s by our hotel. But then we couldn’t see it anymore. So she asked this guy & he was gonna DRIVE US to it. We started going that way but then Sharon decided she didn’t trust him so she asked a cop & the same man walked past & said, “Left. Believe me.” And he was right.

[2023 Erin is having a tough time following this sequence of events, though she does remember being lost at night in Spain and references it about once every 3 years and Henry acts like he’s never heard thr.e story before.]

But Sharon had her doubts. BUT I saw the Renault dealership & I just knew we were going the right way. Then SHE saw her stupid Ford place & she was really ticking me off (she was giddy) so I walked ahead of her & found the hotel myself, after being lost for ONE HOUR. I think I saw more of Seville today than I ever have cared to.

Now she’s insinuating (again) that it’s MY fault the wacked hairdryer doesn’t work.

It’s around 11PM & we’re calling home :P

I just talked to Corey & he said “Erin go ↑ in airplane. I go on helicopter.” Grandma doesn’t want to talk.

***

And then that day’s entry just ends. It’s weird reading this now because it makes it seem like we were sitting in the hotel doing nothing all day, but from what I remember, we had a few hours in the late afternoon to chill before that night’s activities. Also, I have no idea who the aforementioned Nick was other than just someone in the tour group, but what schmucks we were for not dressing up for the flamenco!!

Considering we were only in FunSpot for 4 hours, there isn’t too much to recap in addition to the ArieForce One gushing I put you guys through the other day. I will say that we had such a nice experience with the FunSpot staff and just the park in general, that I was inspired to email them to tell them so. We’re so quick as disgruntled, jaded humans to fire off complaints at the drop of a hat, but I think it’s very important to send compliments when they’re deserved, as well. I only hope that management shared my email with the staff because they’re the real ones!

I’m gonna do a photodump now, ok? Ok.

I didn’t want to ride this but I was just standing there when Chooch started to walk up the steps so the ride operator was like, “Do you want to ride too?” and I didn’t have the heart to say no. It was no WACKY WORM, but it wasn’t too bad for a kiddie coaster.

I guess.

I thought it was so cool/interesting that the bumper cars are inside the arcade/cafeteria! In general, I really liked the vibe here.

Unsupportive Dad not watching us playing air hockey (I pummeled Chooch, btw).

The color scheme of the skee ball machines (I was so close to creating a tongue twister) was beautiful.

The only annoying thing about the arcade was that we spent 50 cents each to enter some “vortex” thing which only ended up being one of those spinning tunnel illusions. We were in and out in less than 30 seconds and Henry’s mustache curled into a WTF. He really thought he was going to have some “me time” while we were vortexing.

He really thought.

You can see how this used to be a parking lot.

My hair was WRECKED on this day. It never stands a chance in the war against humidity.

Waiting for Hurricane, one of the jankiest coasters I’ve ever ridden.

It actually wasn’t too bad for the first 2/3 of the ride, but I made the mistake of saying, “Oh wow, this really isn’t that bad.” Then all hell breaks loose and it started to feel like we whipping around square corners. Not muh fave.

There were young girls that were screaming maniacally on Riptide, so I started screaming too. Then, when we were walking off the ride, one of the girls said, “I heard you sceaming!” to another girl in her group. But that girl fired back angrily, “That wasn’t me! I don’t who that was, but I kept screaming at them to shut up.”

I did the “looking up and whistling” routine at that point, realizing she was talking about my nearly 44-year-old ass, lol.

Chooch’s eye roll here is everything. 100% Chooch.

No one wanted to go on the ferris wheel but me.

You guys. It was a really great trip. A whirlwind, yes. But I have no regertz. And I can’t wait to see what FunSpot has in store over the next several years!