I didn’t realize it was 127 Day until just a few minutes ago thanks to Instagram but coincidentally I wore one of my NCT127 shirts to breakfast with Wendy and Jeannie this morning!

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NCT127 is currently doing various Asian concerts so they haven’t been putting out new content (honestly they should probably take a break! Maybe go on a real vacation where there is no camera crew or managers, Jesus let these boys rest), so I miss them in a way that only Kpop stans could understand lol.

Anyway, I love these guys and as usual they are brightening an otherwise gloomy and depressing day.

In my NOSTLAGIA BOX rummaging (I used RIFLING in my last post, so gotta mix it up because once upon a time I was a kinda-writer, remember), I unearthed this old picture of me from 1986 (love that my mom had a camera that lasered the dates on the photos – I bet that was super high-tech back then) doing my favorite thing ever: reading a book. This was taken when we lived in our old house on Sylvania Drive in South Park, and here are some facts about that house:

• This is the house my mom was living in with my birth dad back when I was born. Then my dad died, my mom started dating who I consider my actual dad, things got serious so we moved into his house in Castle Shannon. I actually hated that time in my life, every memory is bad (it’s where the neighbor kids abandoned me in their tree house and I was too scared to come down on my own and I just sat up there and cried until my mom realized I was missing, to name ONE of the bad memories). Anyway, after those two married, we moved back to the house on Sylvania Drive! I should probably ask my mom about this because I have no idea if she put the house up for sale originally and no one bought it so we moved back? Or if we moved out with the intention of eventually moving back? Was anyone living there while we were gone!? I feel like we were gone for at least a year.
• I met my childhood BFF Christy on this street – she and her family on the cul-de-sac. We were BFFs up until the end of high school when I became a huge disappointment by dropping out of school and not going to college, opting to slum it with Psycho Mike instead. Christy was probably the only one who cared enough about me to actually try to stop this and get really fucking pissed and then we eventually grew apart. I was salty about it for years but being so far removed from that and actually in a good place in my life now, I can’t blame her one bit. I was so stupid. Everything happens for a reason, etc, but I can’t help but wonder if I still would have eventually ended up with Henry even if I had opted to NOT throw away those formative years of my life. For years I said I didn’t regret those idiotic decisions, but hoo boy, ask me again now. Anyway, Christy and I are still friends and she’s also Chooch’s godmother. We just don’t really hang out that much which is sad.
• Little did I know then that a girl I would meet almost – omg this kills me – forty years later was probably not yet born BUT her family was also living on this same street!
• After my brother Ryan was born, my parents started building a house on a plot of land on the street my Pappap lived on – it was actually my Pappap’s plot of land and I was so fucking sad to leave Sylvania Drive when I was in 2nd grade, but the house that was being built on Gillcrest is still to this day the house that I consider my childhood home. My mom still lives there but I honestly can’t remember the last time I was inside it. Probably not since Chooch was like, in preschool??
• There was a huge ass maple tree in the front yard and I have no idea the origin of this game, but Christy and me, and sometimes this other girl Michelle who was kind of an auxiliary member of our friend group would sit in my yard and wait for cars to drive past. Then we would glare at them and point the leaves at them, funneling all of our wicked petulance through the stems and then – what? – killing them? I can’t remember what we thought the outcome would be but I will say that I drove past this house not too long ago with Chooch and the tree was still  there! I told him the story and he was like, “That’s a stupid game.” WELL, WE HAD TO USE OUR IMAGINATIONS BACK IN THE 80s OK!?

Oh well, I was also going to drop the names of 5 books I loved as a kid but then I got sidetracked and now I’m bored with that idea and also today was terrible. Bye.

I was rifling (do you say rifling or riffling?!) through a photo box and these pictures were in the mix. I must stumble over them once every couple of years and it never gets old because I can remember this moment like it was yesterday and not the summer of 1998. I posted the second one on IG today with a side note acknowledging that I probably repost these like every year but after scrolling thorough this graveyard of words, I apparently only posted the backstory once during Blogathon in 2010!

So here is the story again because I’m back to having nothing to say since winter life is so stale. Boo hoo. Time to find a new K-drama to binge.

****

All I was doing was putting gas in my car at a gas station. It was night time, near my apartment, and I was eighteen. A lot of things happened to me when I was eighteen.

“Is that an EAGLE TALON?” some ginger guy shouted with thick Pittsburgh intonations. It turned out he also had an Eagle Talon at one point in his life, so we started talking about that. Then I thought it would be a GREAT IDEA to invite him back to my apartment for a get together! Because that’s what you do when you meet strange men at the gas station late at night!

I wasn’t home alone though. My friends Heather and Brian were there as well. Brian gave me his typical “What did you DO?” eye brow raise when my new friend Kevin arrived with his friend. We ordered pizza and for the most part, Kevin and his friend sat at the dining room table, drinking large cans of Miller. Every one in awhile, Kevin would blurt, “MAN DO I LOVE THIS PLACE CAN I MOVE IN WITH YOU” and I would giggle sweetly. Because that’s how I do.

Kevin’s friend excused himself to use the bathroom. Getting to the bathroom required one to cut through my bedroom. A minute or so later, I went up to my room to get something.

The bathroom door was open.

In the reflection of the mirror, there quite clearly hung a large penis.

I screamed, because I was a VIRGIN! Sike, naw. But I did scream, because I was very immature about things like this. I would NEVER screamed right now if I saw some random penis! Not in a million years would I!

I ran back downstairs and crumbled to the floor in laughter.

This was a much better story at the time. Now it’s just DUMB AND I’M SORRY I CAN’T ENTERTAIN YOU, MY GOD.

I look so psychotic in that picture. I NEVER look like that! Not in a million years do I!

****

Present day Erin here. For some reason I left out the part that I was dating this guy Erik at the time and he was LESS THAN THRILLED that I brought these gas station randos home with me. Kevin was soooo wasted and kept telling Erik that he thought I was pretty and at one point he asked Erik, “do you mind if I steal her from you?” Or something up that effect.

AND ERIK SAID “BE MY GUEST.”

The worst part is that I’m pretty sure this was caught on video because we were always filming our random hangouts back then like a low low low way down low budget reality show. I still think about this from time to time.

Be my guest.

Erik and I didn’t last very long obviously. I think it was less than a full summer!

This past weekend was weird. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I just felt like I was, out-of-body. Just uncomfy and disoriented a little? Probably a lot of it was the gray, cold skies; winter in general. Broken record a-go-go but I really hate winter.

Random squishy pumpkin toy on the floor up there but an otherwise clean-ish house because guess why, guess you guys?!

CHOOCH INVITED THE MYSTERY GIRL OVER.

I mean, I thought it was CURIOUS that he was suddenly re-designing his room with less than a year to go before he moves out for college (even if he goes to a Pittsburgh college, he wants to live on campus which is fine by me, cool bye), and then on Friday I heard him VACCUUMING up there? Like, how did he even know where the vaccuum was or how to use it is beyond me.

I was actually sooo giddy and also a nervous wreck waiting for her to arrive. I know that Chooch was big regretting inviting her over and I swear I wasn’t as bad as I could have been. Was I waiting by the door? Fully. Did I make them sit down for a grueling Q&A sesh? No, but I wanted to. Basically, we introduced ourselves to each other and then Chooch IMMEDIATELY made it super uncomfortable so I was like, “OMG fine you can go” and then that’s all I’ll say about that because I guess I should be mindful of his privacy even though this is the first time he actually was interested enough in someone to bring them over?!

(SHE IS REALLY CUTE AND NICE FYI.)

Henry cleaned the Fiji Mermaid’s “tank” for me, literally the first time since I’ve had this thing which was….back when I did the creepy carnival Halloween desk at work right?! I think that must have been 2012?!

The next day, I was supposed to have brunch with Lauren, Sandy, Amber and Nate at The Nook. I would like to go on record here to say that I was not the one who chose this place, but I was the first one to arrive so I was the one who had to go in and put my name in (they’re one of those fucking annoying trendy places that don’t take reservations). The guy said it would be about 45 minutes and I was like “hnng” but I went ahead and put my name down anyway because I didn’t know?!

There’s nowhere to wait inside so the five us huddled out front on the sidewalk -a block  I mean it wasn’t super cold that day but it also wasn’t super great either. So then we were all getting bitchy and complainy and I kept feeing like I was now responsible for this choice of locale and let me just tell you that if it were ever up to me, I would never choose somewhere in Lawrenceville and would probably also make sure that there was an actual parking lot. I just can’t handle street parking!! Which is why Henry dropped me off.

Then, everyone voted for me to go in and yell at them and I was like, “I CAN’T DO THAT, I’M NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO WANTED TO EAT HERE?!” but I did go in after the waiting app thing told me that we had surpassed the alleged 45 minute wait we were given, and now the guy was backpeddling and saying that it was just an estimate and probably 10 more minutes or so it would be ready!?

I didn’t buy it, so I came out and said, “I think we should leave” and everyone was like “yes, lead the way” but I struggled to do so because I was wearing Vans with peds (super responsible winter gear) so now that I had to walk after standing still in the cold for 45+ minutes, I was having a hard time getting my feet to cooperate.

Anyway, a block away, Sandy saw the Tryp hotel which has a restaurant and she was like, “Let’s just go there” and we followed her like little ducklings because at this point, I think “being inside” mattered more to us than “brunch.” The restaurant, of course, was closed BUT!! There was a coffee counter and a lady was behind it so Sandy yelled from the doorway, “Are you open and can you feed us?” She said a double yes, so we had brunch (lunch at this point) in the empty basement of some random hotel. Literally, aside from the barista and her baby and baby daddy, we were the only people there the whole time and it ended up being perfect.

“Look, it’s Lauren from the Old Country!” Nate exclaimed, and then to me, he commanded in a quieter voice, “Take a picture!” So I took a picture of Lauren from the Old Country.

I know it’s corny, but it really isn’t about the food or the restaurant. If you are with your friends, that’s everything and the only thing! Was my Impossible Burger memorable? Not really. But was the convo fantastico? Hell yes. And also, shout out to the barista who had the biggest, most genuine smile on her face the entire time. That was just the cherry on top.

The rest of the weekend was literally me trying to force Henry to learn at least one Seventeen member and making our list of things to do in Korea because oh yeah, we booked our flight :)

In my house, there are three types of people:

1. One that takes their wristband off IMMEDIATELY upon exiting a park, sometimes before even walking through the exit;
2. One that leaves their wristband on until it either falls off or merges with their flesh to form a new synthetic & extremely unsanitary dermal layer;
3. One that gently and careful removes their wristband and puts it somewhere safe with the intention of one day turning them into some sort of memory shrine.

I know you never would have guessed but I am #3 (also sometimes #2 when I’m feeling competitive with Chooch).

Chooch lost one of his wristbands from our Coaster Crew vacation but I made sure to take each one off as gently as possible and kept them safely tucked inside my vacation journal. I had several ideas for how I wanted to display them but I was married to any of those ideas.

Then at Ikea last weekend, I saw a shadowbox frame and you know what? I bought it because it was time to get these things out of the journal and on the wall. Fuck the fanciness, you know?

We had paint left over from the clown buffet so I snapped my fingers at Henry and told him to paint the frame. Then I handled the rest because I can’t trust him to aesthetically place the memorabilia.

Anyway, I like how it turned out and also like that it serves as a ledge for me to place miscellaneous things like the tube of fish paste (I think?!) that we were all given at breakfast one morning.

This is all I have the motivation to say for now. This weather. Ugh. I did leave the house yesterday and today which was a small miracle. But we can talk about that some other day. Now I’m going to read a book and go to bed because I accidentally woke up way too early this morning and it is HITTING ME HARD.

Every so often, I remember that I like the Kpop group Seventeen (I always associate them with the Kpop aerobics I did back when I was like “I don’t know what these songs are but they’re fun”) and then I fall down the rabbit hole, watching live stages etc., and saying, “I gotta spend some time learning about the members.” Over the years, there are only really 3 or 4 (out of 13!) that I have become familiar with, but then one of the sub-units did an amazing performance of one of my current fave cardio dance routine songs on one of the award shows, and I remembered that at one point, I had chosen one of those guys as a bias, so then I started re-crushing on him and next thing I knew, my YouTube feed is all Seventeen and I know ALMOST all of them now, after 4 days of studying.

I’m getting there.

Anyway, today for Friday Five I will share five of my faves. They debuted in 2015 so there is quite a lot to choose from!

(My bias is Seungkwan, btw, and my cat Drew’s is The8.)

1. Ready to Love

You guys,  this is my top #1 SVT song and the one that pulls me back in every time I hear it. It’s perfection.

2. Don’t Wanna Cry

The first Seventeen MV that REALLY caught my attention back in the day. That choreo!!

3. FIGHTING

This song from Seventeen’s subunit BSS (BooSeukSoon) is the anthem we all need to get through another work day. (Fun fact from your friendly Korea liaison: “fighting” is a way to say “you got this!” or “you can do it!” in Korea, it doesn’t literally mean anything aggressive!)

4. _WORLD

Just a total feel-good jam, Bruno Mars-vibes, lil bit.

5. ROCK WITH YOU

Every time I hear this, I want to get up and start doing the Give Me Five Thailand dance workout for it. I kicked the coffee table really hard one time doing it though, I just got too stoked!

***

OK, it’s been a weird week of snow days and Chooch maybe having a girlfriend and starting a countdown and uncomfortable TV shows (American Nightmare was so frustrating and upsetting!!!). I’m freaking tired, man. But I can’t go to bed until Henry chooses a Seventeen bias lol. (“I don’t know any of them!” he cried. Yeah, he said that once upon a time about NCT too and now look at him, Father NCTzen over here.)

In addition to Saturday’s Blue Flame trip down a grilled cheese-greased memory lane, here are some other small happenings.

Chooch, leaving for college in less than a year, has suddenly decided that his bedroom needs a makeover so he made us take him to Ikea because he wanted a small bedside cabinet thing. He saw this giant bear and bought it with his own money – Baby Chooch is still in there somewhere after all!

(Actually, I’m pretty sure the impetus for his cleaning spree is A GIRL NAMED KYLIE, aka from whom the bracelet on his wrist came.)

On the way home, I got a news alert that BILL HAYES died, so I screamed.

“Who?” Henry and Chooch asked in unison, Henry sounding moderately concerned but Chooch? Not so much as expected.

“Doug Williams? HOPE’S FATHER??” I cried in agony.

No response. Blank stares.

“OMG OK, wow. Well, he’s from something near and dear to me, something that I reference almost every day,” I coaxed.

“I don’t know, your blog? Days of Our Lives?” Chooch mumbled.

Yes, Days of Our Lives, good job!

A few nights later, I subjected Henry to approximately an hour of Doug and Julie DOOL clips on YouTube while screaming about how “JOE COCKER’S LOVE LIFT US UP WHERE WE BELONG WAS THEIR SONG!” but GUESS WHAT?? My ironclad DOOL memory bank failed me because that was actually covered by MARILYN MCCOO at MARLENA AND JOHN BLACK’S wedding?! How did I mix that up?! Why do I have such a vivid memory of this song playing in a Doug & Julie scene??

It’s really hard for me to get out of the DOOL loop once I start spinning. I never thought I’d be participating in this, but it occurred to me the other night that my Roman Empire has GOT to be when Hope was supposed to marry Larry but when Larry lifted the veil, it was actually HOWIE because Hope, previously Holding Out For a Hero, was riding off into the horizon on the back of Bo’s hog.

So then, lounging in bed with this clod-stomping through my mind, I pictured Howie with a fat cigar in his mouth which made me then hearken back to the time in my life, senior year of high school specifically, when I decided that I wanted to be a cigar aficionado – I was about to say inexplicably but now that I’m slipping back into 1997 during daylight hours I think it must have been because my dad was a pipe and cigar smoker and I just thought it smelled good and imagined – now near me out because this makes no sense and it’s also hypocritical to my newly formed vegetarian lifestyle back then – that it would taste meaty?! Like a thicc Bob Evans sausage link!?

I was about to question my thought process with this next part, but then remembered that I was an idiot teenager, but in any case I thought it would be a great idea to steal some of my dad’s cigars and then wait to attempt to smoke one while riding around in Psycho Mike’s silver Omni from the 80s (named Elliott because one day after he got the car, he asked what he should name it and we were on Elliott Drive, so…). First of all, I’m fucking certain I didn’t light it properly – I mean, aren’t you supposed to clip off the end first? I cannot picture myself doing that. Man, I took a big manly drag and then PROMPTLY screamed EW OMG while accidentally inhaling the plumes of decidedly NOT breakfast meaty smoke, and, as a reflex, I chucked the flaming cigar not out MY window, but ACROSS THE CAR and out of Psycho Mike’s window WHILE HE WAS DRIVING and OH BTW his window WAS NOT DOWN.

Now Psycho Mike’s screams had joined my own in hysterical unison as the STILL LIT cigar ricocheted off the closed window and into his lap, which was now smoldering. He had to veer off onto the shoulder of the road (we were on Waterman, which was super windy and made for a great setting for CIGAR-IN-THE-CAR ESCAPADES) and let’s just say this is one of the many moments I look back on and wonder how I walked away from that relationship alive.

Henry just came home from work and I had to sadly admit to him by DOOL gaff, and instead of just leaving it as “I was wrong about that Joe Cocker song,” I instead opted to reenact the clip I watched with Marilyn McCoo mccooi’ing her cover of it at whatever Doug’s lounge was called  (maybe that’s why I associate it with him and Julie??) while John Blake creepily whispered “I love you” to Marlene with a wink, and over at another table, Patch was intensely glaring at Kayla  (to be fair, he always looked like he was ready for a murder party) while Kayla breathed heavily in response.

What is my fucking life.

Sunday was pretty chill. Drew got pissed off at birds. I fed the squirrels.

Sent Henry out to Allegro for their BBQ oyster mushroom “chicken” sandwich and it was absolutely so divine. I gave myself a big stomachache though because I ate it like it was the only food I was given all weekend.

Oh!! Also, I finished watching This Is Us. Look, listen Brenda. I was an OG-viewer of that series. I watched it in REAL TIME most weeks, even! But when we cut cable, I was having to watch it on On Demand. Then something got screwed up midway through the final season and the next episode I needed was gone from On Demand and I didn’t want to keep watching it without that one. Henry and people of his ilk can do these things, but not me. I need order.

So then I just gave up. Meanwhile, my mom had JUST DISCOVERED it right after that and was like “OMG have you heard of this show” and I’m all “yeah I was watching it for 6 years of my life and now everything is ruined” and she watched the entire series in like a month somehow and I had to beg her to not talk to me about it.

Anyway, hail to Netflix, I finally got to pick it back up (it took a while to figure out where I left off!) but then once I did, I tried to drag it out so I could savor it but I ended up finishing the season and the series in less than a week and needless to say, I am wrecked. That show was pretty close to perfect, honestly. (I know it was the point, but I really fucking hated Toby there for a minute, I forgot how dreadful and unbearable his character had become! Glad he was tolerable at the end at least.)

Chooch and I both had the day off for MLK Jr Day so we walked to 802 for some local coffee. I had a mediocre banana chai (it was fine but I really like Crazy Mocha / Yinz Coffee’s chai lattes the best – everything else just tastes so watered down to me) and then I accidentally chose the wrong kind of donut (again – fine but also underwhelming) BUT!!! Chooch actually acknowledged me the entire time and that is the whole point so who cares about the rest! There was a large Mexico coffee table book in the nook where we were sat (LOL I wanted to know what it would feel like to word it that way; like the coffee and donut, it felt fine) and Chooch was actually flipping through it and showing me places he had been when he studied there in 2022! I was trying to play it cool but it truly felt being noticed in a positive way by one of the mean girls, you know?

Well, I think that’s all. It was a long weekend, and also a LONG WEEKEND if you know what I mean. I’m over winter. Ready for March. Let’s go.

P.S. Back to Doug & Julie, I had NO IDEA ABOUT THIS but they started secretly dating in the 70s and then proceeded to also secretly get married, and when people found out they demanded that their characters, who weren’t love interests at that point, get together on the show and that is how Doug & Julie became a soap opera power couple and ALSO, in my Internet travels today I learned that they were the only soap couple to be featured on the cover of Time! Sit down, Luke and Laura. Pfft.

The passing of Bill Hayes has donkey-kicked so much information into my brain. It’s crazy.

Why does it seem like December was so long ago already? I legit can’t even remember the books I read now, without consulting Goodreads. December did a number on me. No five stars but some solid 4s. (You know what’s hilar is that I think somewhere along the line, I stopped putting my star ratings for each book, oh well, lol.)

1. The Breakaway by Jennifer Weiner

4 stars. Not my FAVE Weiner (hahahaha) but I enjoyed this and the alternating POVs. Her books aren’t necessarily literary masterpieces, but they do entertain me and have just the right amount of drama and conflict without being too heavy-handed. I don’t want to say these are light and fluffy – this one has a teen pregnancy storyline – but I would still put these in the “beach read” category. Plus, a Jennifer Weiner book was one of the first ones I took out of the library in January 2020 when I pledged to read more, so there’s some FOND ASSOCIATION there.

What I enjoyed the most about this was that most of it takes place on the road as a group of bikers ride from NYC to Buffalo. Still being nostalgic and sentimental from our coaster trip, it had some relatable feels for me, being in a group and befriending people simply because you’re together, doing the same thing. Love that. Leave me alone.

2. Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh by Rachael Lippincott

4 stars. This was a cute time travel, sapphic twist on Pride & Prejudice. I wish there had been more Pgh parts but most of the book takes place in the past, in England. A quick, cute read.

3. To Sir, with Love by Lauren Layne

4 stars – maybe more like 3.5. Predictable romance but I genuinely liked the couple and that made it fun. Another cute, quick read.

4. His Black Tongue by Mitchell Lüthi

3 stars for the audiobook production. *shrugs* Nothing about this scared me. I’m glad I opted for the audiobook though because the production was excellent and included some creepy Gregorian (or similar?) chants. Very atmospheric. But the stories themselves didn’t really enthrall me. (Disclaimer: I was also listening to this the day before Chingumas and I was extremely stressed out so factor that in.)

5. Becoming the Boogeyman by Richard Chizmar

4 stars. Creepy, engaging, entertaining. Shout out to Megan for clueing me into this series. Chasing the Boogeyman was better, but this was a solid follow-up IMO.

6. The Block Party by Jamie Day

3 stars. Basically a season of Desperate Housewives with less compelling characters.

7. The Book of the Most Precious Substance by Sara Gran

4.5 stars. YES. Yes yes yes. A book dealer goes on a whirlwind, worldwide quest to procure this ancient witchy sex book for a mystery buyer. Loved it. Interesting, exciting, engaging, memorable. Kind of…OK hear me out…Dan Brown vibes but so much better and smarter.

8. Good Bad Girl by Alice Feeney

3 stars. Alice Feeney is so hit-or-miss. This one had too many women to follow and none of them were interesting. The twist was mid. The whole time, I kept thinking, “How is this the same author who wrote Daisy Darker?” One upside to this is that all of the chapters were relatively short and I do love me a book with short chapters.

9. Margarettown by Gabrielle Zevin

4 stars. I almost DNFd this after the first chapter or two and I’m really glad I stuck it out. I was weeping by the end. This line of the synopsis speaks volumes: “What he doesn’t know is that loving Maggie means loving many women at once.” This book read like a beautiful love letter to women. I felt seen. Maybe Henry should read this.

10. The Swallowed Man by Edward Carey

3 stars. A retelling-ish of Pinnochio from Geppetto’s POV. Not for me but I can see where this would appeal to others. Most of the book takes place inside the whale and it just felt a bit, you know, well, claustrophobic. I wish there had been more “outside of the stomach” flashbacks.

11. Nestlings by Nat Cassidy

4.5 stars. OK NAT CASSIDY CALM DOWN. You are already my new favorite horror writer, stop showing off.  I didn’t love this quite as much as Mary, but this was damn near flawless in my eyes. A modern take on Rosemary’s Baby and done beautifully. Ana is a fucking bad-ass main character and I rooted for her the whole way through. One thing to note with Cassidy’s books – ya gotta read the foreword and author’s notes. Ya just gotta. I am such a fan girl. I love him lots. His writing is chef’s kiss, his characters are so vivid, and his scene-setting is glorious.

I always say that when/if we ever buy a house and actually have room for a book shelf, I want to go back and buy physical copies of my faves and both of Nat Cassidy’s book will be on those supposed shelves, you can bet.

12. The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston

4 stars. I needed this. A little magical realism, a little romance, a funeral home in a small town as a setting….this was precious. I cried, BUT I ALSO LAUGHED.

13. Nineteen Claws and a Black Bird by Agustina Bazterrica

3 stars. Short stories. Some are better than others. None were particularly scary/creepy/thrilling.  There was one I loved about a woman who wants her body to be a circle, though. Most of them made me extremely uncomfortable and that’s what I want horror to do, so this wasn’t a total bust.

14. Look Closer by David Ellis

3 stars. Long for no reason. The main character Simon was so milquetoast and whiny, I couldn’t stand him. What’s a synonym for “mid”?

*************

OK, that wraps up my December reads. Read ’em and weep (I dunno why I said that, please don’t cry).

While Chooch was at his Pitt game creation class on Saturday, Henry and I had our Blue Flame re-do. I don’t think I have been here since 2021 when Corey and I closed the place down with our incessant talking. This was when we first discovered that they were advertising HERSHEY ICE CREAM all over the outside of the restaurant, but we never really bothered to investigate.

I rarely come here anymore because it seems like every time I get the urge, they’re not open. Their hours have been fucked, and I feel like that was even before the pandemic and now it’s even worse. They’re not open for dinner AT ALL and even though the website says they’re open until 2PM, it can be a crapshoot. For instance, we made sure to leave the house around noon just in case on Saturday and it’s a good thing we did because once we got here, Henry overheard one of the servers saying they were closing early.

Well, I can now report that it’s a legit ice cream counter and I am simultaneously impressed and also disgusted by this. Let me explain. Before it was this ice cream thing, it was the location of the breakfast buffet – another thing that I did not care for because THAT replaced the best section of Blue Flame. There used to be a semi-enclosed area here with two large wrap-around booths. With the exception of an doorway, it was surrounded by a wooden wall and if my memory serves, I want to say there were also stained glass windows in the official colors of the 70s – orange/yellow/browns.

I wish there were photos of this in the mad stacks I inherited when we were cleaning out my grandparents house. It was where my Pappap always sat with me when we went there on weekdays for lunch. I would have been LITTLE, pre-school age, and he would always be meeting up with his buddies. I loved those days so much that my nose is starting to burn right now as my impending tears announce their arrival. I’d have my prized stuffed dog, Purple, with me. My Pappap would be drinking coffee, bullshitting with his other business-owner buddies, whacking on his water glass with a knife with purposeful obnoxiousness in order to get the attention of one of the waitresses who LOVED to dish it right back to him — my favorite was Monica and I can picture her like it was yesterday and she was telling me not to let those guys bother me as she slid my grilled cheese* onto the table.

*(Except that back then, I called it “girl cheese” because I seriously thought that was what they were called and that they were only for girls.)

And now, it’s just a stupid counter slinging basic-ass Hershey’s ice cream. Cool cool cool.

Change is for the fucking birds.

The grilled cheese was way more satisfying than the limp one I got last week at Deer Creek Diner but the fries were not good, another thing that’s changed because Blue Flame was the origin of my obsession with the “good ones,” those elusive perfectly crisp fries that Henry still doesn’t understand to pick them out of a line up.

Now they’re just…dry and ordinary.

And there are only young high school girls who work there now it seems, no Monica. (There was another OG who I can picture vividly but I can’t remember her name, although I think she was still there up until my adult years because I swear I had the “You probably don’t remember me…” conversation with her and she flipped out when I name-dropped my Pappap. Goddamn, it’s been a while since I cried about him, yet here we are, lol ugh.)

The bathroom has looked like this for as long as I can remember, and Blue Flame in general has a very distinct smell that has persevered throughout. Not a bad smell, but an old, nostalgic stench of, I dunno, grease, potpourri, and whatever cleaner they use.

And then after you leave, you have to walk to the edge of the parking lot and look at the creek. It’s, as my friend Alyson would say, part of the process. Henry of course went straight to the car because he’s not a member of the Blue Flame Club so these things aren’t important to him. Henry also has exactly zero amounts of sentimentality.

So yeah, that was my decent-but-sad lunch at Blue Flame on Saturday. I should go there more often because if they ever close, you know I will be the first to bitch about it while having done nothing to contribute to their business over the last decade. So, anyone want to hit up Blue Flame some weekend for breakfast, you just let me know. The earlier we get there, the less chance we have of them closing early on us.

:(

P.S. While we were there, I had a flashback to junior year when I took my whole entire friend group there for dinner and there were so many of us that we had to go to the backroom and pull several tables together. I have video of this somewhere which I would share but I need to digitize my entire home video collection and this makes me tired thinking about it so I keep telling Henry to handle it and he’s procrastinating as always. But damn, I’d really love to see that. There were so many of us that night and, as I told Henry through a mouthful of masticated grilled cheese on Saturday, it was one of the best nights of my life. *tear*

Our department had a belated holiday get together last night at Dave & Busters. Would you believe it was the first time I’ve ever gone there?? Just never had the desire, I guess. (BECAUSE I’M NO FUN, OK? I’M A FUCKING DUD. GAMES? EW!)  But I RSVPd because even though it’s always a drag for me to leave the house right after work, it always ends up being worth it once I get there.

And I’m glad I went because our newest department member, Lara, came and it was really wonderful getting to meet her IRL rather than just awkwardly introducing myself on a video call, and you know how I hate those video calls!!

I think there were around 15 of us. Sue gave us 2 drink tickets each to start and there was some food as well. Henry begged (I MEAN, BEGGED) Margie at Chingumas to let him come because he is desperate to be a part of our department. It was actually embarrassing. He drove me there last night and then sat at one of the bars, crying into his wings, until Sue was like, “OMG tell Henry to come join us” WHICH IS JUST WHAT HE WANTED, UGH. So then I had to go and find the little golden boy and tell him that he was allowed to crash our party. He giddily sat down next to Sue, what a suck up.

There were extra drink tickets and I was like, “OOH I SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER DRINK” to which Henry quickly intervened because after two glasses of what I’m sure was super high quality pinot grigio because Dave & Busters, I was half-hammered. Maybe fully hammered. I’m actually embarrassed thinking about it because I know I was being annoying (I can’t hold my liquor) and also every single picture from last night makes me look like a fucking glassy-eyed wino.

Forced Todd into my selfie-web, and he was stoked – can you tell?

Margie and me! Shout out to Margie for helping Sue arrange everything!

WHAT WAS RACHEL CALCULATING?? Also, she is currently going through the college application drama with her TWINS so I can’t even imagine her stress levels knowing how stressed I am doing this with just one kid. We spent a good portion of the night commiserating over that and I gotta say, it was good to have someone to vent with.

Nate and Eric (who also joined us as an honorary department member for the night!) looking super intense.

Nate and #UghLou

5 hours late with this BeReal but I’m glad I remembered to do it while I was actually out of the house and with a table full of good people!

Megan has a selfie ring light for her phone that some of us were coveting, so today she sent the link for it in our group text and an hour later, Henry goes, “‘Your package is arriving on Monday’ – what package?” LOL.

We were totally in everyone’s way. People were there to play games and I’m like, “No it’s selfie time, guys.”

Ugh, you know I’m drunk when I do the huge open-mouth pose in every picture. Is it better or worse that I at least know I’m annoying?

I’m pretty sure Todd was like, “OK I’m leaving” after this because he signed up for food, drinks, and games, not posing for selfies like he’s out with so bunch of sorority girls.

I do love this one so much though!

My favorite part of the night was near the end when the last ones standing (me, Nate, Amber, Lori, Maggie, Lou and Henry) were LOAFING over by the prize room thing, being jealous and also appalled that not one but TWO people had earned enough points to snag the Ramen pillow AND the giant pickle plush.

“Where do people even PUT things like this in their house?” Amber mused.

“You’re asking the wrong person!” I said, and Lori and Maggie started cackling.

“Yeah, you’d redesign an entire room for something in there!” Maggie exclaimed.

Totally could see myself demanding Henry build an altar for a giant plush Dave & Busters pickle. It would match my new clown buffet!!!

Anyway, what a great night with great people. I’m really glad that some of us make an effort to get together and keep the work relationships alive now that we’re all remote. It’s so important, especially since now we have so many people who were hired virtually during the pandemic. For instance, our newer Support person, Wendi is someone that started during that time but she has come into the office for various casual lunches and other after-work social events and she has quickly become one of my favorite people there.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I have been so sentimental about work stuff lately. Sigh.

I set a goal of 80 books for 2023 because I wanted to slow my roll a little and focus more on quality, etc. etc. But AS PER UJE, I got all embroiled in Booktube suggestions and hype and then started selecting random audiobooks to listen to on my walks (a lot of them were soooo bad too because I always tend to go for thrillers when it comes to audiobooks-for-walking) and somehow ended up reading MORE than the year before (only by 6 but still): 136.

I dunno, I think reading became my nervous tic since the pandemic.

Anyway, who cares. I did read a lot of great ones last year and here are some that I would whole-heartedly recommend and, as I always say, if I ever one day own a house and have room for a bookshelf (which I do not currently), these would be books I would definitely want to grace the shelves. (Cancel me if I ever start doing obnoxious ombre bookspine organizing or whatever).

I still have to recap my December reads, but here are my 2023 5-star faves in no particular order; click the cover to go to each Goodreads page:

Here’s a picture of that kid who never hangs out with us anymore, + 5 random facts because it’s January and I am feeling it already. I hate hate hate hate hate winter so much.

• I was obsessed with the reboot of Dark Shadows only because MICHAEL T WEISS was in it and if you don’t know, he played MIKE HORTON on Days of Our Lives. So of course I had to watch it. However, no one else in my family was interested in watching it and it also must have coincided with something that THEY (aka my dad and Ryan) watched, so I was relegated to the kitchen to watch it. We had a small kitchen TV on the counter, and I would pull up one of our heavy-ass wooden kitchen chairs to the counter and then open one of the drawers (there were four large drawers on the other side of the kitchen counter that were mostly junk drawers but also my mom kept cookbooks in there) to rest my legs on and then my legs would always end up falling asleep, but that’s the risk you take. Anyway, I truly thought I was so motherfucking cool and like, advanced for my age watching Dark Shadows because no one else in my grade did!! I’m only telling you this because just recently I was reminded of its existence and started watching videos about it on YouTube and now I want to watch the OG and the reboot again.

<3

• I will always choose lemon, pistachio, matcha flavors over chocolate. I also love earl grey and cardamom flavored desserts. Henry brought home an earl grey scone from Potomac Station Coffee one of the days when I was still queasy after Christmas and it was delightful.
• I have two older half-sisters, one older half-brother, and two younger half-brothers. I have zero full siblings.
• When I was dating the guy before Henry, I was bored and created a stalker for him and he fell for it. One time he came over and was like I THINK SHE WAS FOLLOWING ME HERE and he was so concerned for my safety so then I inexplicably* used it to start a fight with him just because I thrived on fighting with him, to the point where I actually forgot during the fight that the stalker was actually me. I never told him it was me and wow that is pretty fucked up I guess LOL. Eh, oh well.
  • *lol inexplicably? More like “because I’m* a toxic-ass bitch.”
    • *was? nah, I am.
• Wait now I’m on a memory roll about that guy and thinking about the time we went to this place called Hambones (RIP) for dinner with my friend Brian, and one thing you should know is that Brian and me in a restaurant was a….recipe (ugh sorry I had to do) for disaster because we would get so giddy and loud and embarrass everyone with us. Anyway, the ex was annoying me and being a big bitch boy as usual so when he said something about getting dessert, I snapped, “How about you get a glass of Shut the Fuck Up for a nightcap” and it wasn’t even that funny but Brian was like OH SHIT and then I burst out into my signature “Is she drunk or psychotic?” bray and then the ex literally started quietly crying (he cried a lot). Brian referenced this night for years. If anyone asked me what my toxic trait was back then, the only answer would be, “Me. Myself. It’s all of me.”

Wow. I think I need to get some sleep, lol.

Ugh Saturday started out horribly. Ok that’s hyperbolic, it was just boring and mildly frustrating because it was snowing hard. Henry and I were going to go to lunch at Blue Flame but then Responsible Son texted from work and said that he OF FUCKING COURSE didn’t have his house key so we had to turn around (granted we were still close to home but everyone was crawling because of the snow) to unlock the door for him – so safe.

THEN it took us forever to even get onto the main road because a car was broken down so traffic was all backed up and it was nearly 1PM by now and like nearly EVERY RESTAURANT IN PGH Blue Flame closes as 2PM so we decided to just go to Frank and Shirley’s which is much closer to home anyway but when walked in, the bus boy was all, GET THIS, “oh yeah we’re closed bc of the weather.”

THERE WERE PPL EATING AND THE “WEATHER” WASN’T BAD BUT OK. Cook on. Or, don’t, I guess, BC OF THE WEATHER.

Idiots.

So basically it took us exactly an hour to drive in a circle 10 minutes away from our house only to come back and eat lunch at home.

Ew, I was fuming.

Chooch slept over a friend’s house that night, so Henry had a soju & makgeolli party and watched the new Exorcist which I thought was just OK and definitely didn’t scare as much as some other possession movies (my favorite type of horror, BTW).

I had a lot of things to say throughout it and I think Henry welcomed my commentary because it distracted him from the matter at hand: THAT WE WERE WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT POSSESSION and very much the opposite of me, Henry hates horror movies that have religious themes to them because HE IS A BIG WUSS.

At one point, I felt inspired to text Chooch and tell him that if ever became possessed, I would leave. Literally could call my mom and ask if I could move back home or better yet, send Chooch there.

Which reminded me….

“When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to be possessed by the devil. Desperately,” I confessed to Henry, burping up soju probably.

“That…doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Henry mumbled.

Today, Henry and I had our lunch do-over but this time decided to go to Deer Creek Diner in Russellton, wherever that is. I don’t know what I was doing when I took this picture but judging by the last month or so of my blurry picture-taking, I think it’s safe to say that I have crossed over to Elderly Person Taking Photos with Kindle territory.

This place was fine! As soon as we sat down, the elderly couple (who probably have an entire camera roll of blurry pictures) on the other side of the little wall thing next to us said hello and it made me feel uncomfortable, like they were breaking some sort of third wall, restaurant edition, and then when the man sneezed at one point, I had a mental breakdown trying to decide if saying BLESS YOU was appropriate but then too much time passed while I was debating so instead I just pretended like I hadn’t noticed even though we made eye contact.

Oblig coleslaw-in-the-maw action shot! This coleslaw was totally my style, btw.

I got a grilled cheese with tomato, and fries. Forgot to take a picture. The grilled cheese was basic, but the fries were ALMOST the “Good Kinds” that I love so much. Almost!

I had to come back into the bathroom after already being in there once to actually pee, because I made the fatal mistake of not bringing my phone (I mean, it’s weird to walk into a public bathroom with your phone in your hand; I usually only bring it in if I’m wearing a jacket and it’s in the pocket) only to be met with this HIDEOUS mural!!!

I made sure that all of the diners who were there when I went in the first time were already gone, lest they think I have some bladder disorder or a hand-washing compulsion, etc. Because EVERYONE CARES WHAT I DO, OBVIOUSLY.

Anyway, I had only been in there for 20 seconds and was getting ready to leave when someone started knocking on the door. That pissed me off. Excuse me, but if the door is locked, then clearly someone is in there? You really have to knock?? So, I washed my hands for no reason and then left, having to slide past the OFFENDER who OF COURSE happened to be a lady sitting behind us who had left and then apparently come back just to use the bathroom so now she knew that I had used it twice in 15 minutes, UGH.

(Again, no one cares. But this is one of those things that I will think about for at least the next 7 years.)

The men’s room had deer! Henry took these without me even asking!

You have no idea how long I waited to get this shot, because the table at the end was occupied almost the whole time and one of the people, some middle-aged woman, freaking locked eyes with me every time I turned to see if the coast was clear.

The worst part of the lunch was when Marble Mouth Henry whispered to the waitress, “Can we get dessert?” Um first of all, we’re paying customers, so fuck yeah, we can get dessert, why is he asking for permission?? We are hardworking adults who have more than earned a piece of freaking pie. Anyway, she of course couldn’t hear him because he was mumbling, and this was right after she gave us the check, so she goes, “What’s that? Oh, you can pay up front” and he goes, “No” and then re-mumbles the dessert question, and she goes, “Oh! You want me to turn up the TV?”

Oh good lord, I couldn’t sit back and watch this any longer so I jumped in and asked with CLEAR ANUNCIATION, “Do you have coconut cream pie? I see it’s on one sign, but not on the daily special board, so I wasn’t sure…” and she seemed relieved to have an excuse to remove herself from this excruciating episode. “Let me check!” she said, and jogged away.

“YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING!” I hissed, and Henry just laughed and shrugged, because he probably didn’t hear what I said anyway.

They did NOT have coconut cream pie, so we got a slice of Italian cream cake to share, and it was super rich and waaaay too much but I still did more than my share in its demolition.

The last notable thing of the weekend, and certainly a perk, was that Chooch and I got to have a Zoom call with our friend Kristen and it was sooooo nice to see her face, hear her voice, and chat about Chooch’s college applications and such. It definitely put me at ease! I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last saw her IRL, so I hope 2024 is the year that breaks that streak!

Remember when I was all, “Yay! I finished recapping our coaster trip before 2024 begins!”? Well, joke’s on me (and you) because I realized I had some photos from The Good Camera that hadn’t been edited yet. These are all from our day in Tallinn. Look or don’t look, I’ll never know!

Booksbooksbooksbooks *drool*

We ate breakfast here and it was nice. 

On the way to tour the tower thing. Is this some gang sign that I don’t know about? A signal for help that Henry and Chooch created for times when my dictatorship becomes too much to bear?

This was taken inside the tower thing. You know, that thing. It’s a tower.

On one of the tower walkway things. My favorite part about the tower portion of our day is that I was using a lens on the camera that was fully-dirty/smudged and had no idea because my eyes are so jacked. So pretty much every picture I took inside that wasn’t taken on my phone is trash. I am so profesh! Hire me.

No Korean. </3

Henry captured my mid-allergy attack inside a cafe, thanks.

Obsessed with the architecture here.

St. Olaf’s Church, center, has a 400 foot high spire, one of the tallest in the world.

Highly recommend this viewing area – Kohtuotsa viewing platform.

“Steven Seagull” apparently has his own Instagram page, but I think this was just a random seagull that happened to be hanging out there.

Danzig.

UGH COME ON THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I think I would like to get some of these printed and framed but you know, I have zero room left on my walls so I guess I will have to figure something out. (Henry, can you build a floating wall or something?!)

Well, New Years Eve was alright! We never ever ever plan anything. I don’t even ask people to come over, honestly, because I’m so paranoid of DUIs/accidents/etc. I just want everyone to stay safe! So, we stay in every year, and it’s always cozy and regular-egular*.

*(Ew. I have never said that before. 2024 is off to a wild start!)

Now that I think about it, was this the last time we had a NYE guest??? Good lord that was a fun night. *promptly texts Christina the link*

Earlier that day, Henry brought his mom over. She was supposed to come over Christmas Day, but IN CASE YOU MISSED THE MEMO, I WAS PUKING.

Some things to note:

• Chooch works early on weekends, comes home and immediately naps like an old man (see also: Henry). He tried to stay awake while Judy was here but she and Henry were talking about People From Before Our Time so he was easily lulled to sleep.
• That saucer on the floor is what I feed the cats their treats on and it pisses off Henry and Chooch so much because there are two of them that they constantly kick around the house (saucers, not cats; they wouldn’t be living here any longer if they were kicking cats, FYI).
  • WAIT, YOU CAN SEE BOTH IN THIS PICTURE, LOL.

Per Judy’s request, Henry made kimbap. A few days later, my mom texted me like, “What are these pinwheels things with spinach that Judy is talking about??” LOL. That makes them sound so American.

Almost immediately upon arriving, Judy retold (unbeknownst to her) the heavily-fictionalized story of Henry climbing a tree, and the time she and my mom met some guy at McDonald’s and then my mom suddenly suggested that they follow him which, knowing my mom, TRACKS. My mom, however, aggressively disputes this memory. The two of them went out together today and when my mom texted me to tell me that she just dropped Judy off and they had a good time, I asked, “Did you pick up any guys??”

She chose to ignore that.

Judy and Trudy! (And Chooch.)

Hold please while I post the most unflattering picture of Henry, LOLOLOL:

Later that night, Chooch actually graced us with his presence for several rounds of this 80s and 90s humming game that I am SO FUCKING GOOD AT and Henry “I Was In Chorus” Robbins is embarrassingly bad at. Chooch also is really good and we can usually guess each others’ humming because we’re savants.

Anyway, on one of my turns, I got to choose any option from the card I had, so I chose Kate Bush’s “Running up that Hill” knowing Chooch would get it because of Stranger Things. He did (Henry did not) and I said, “It was between that and Tiffany” because he also loves “I Think We’re Alone Now” because of Umbrella Academy, and he goes, “Kate Bush and Tiffany are basically the same person.”

Mmm….are they though? Are they?

Also, I just realized that those are both from two shows that I always relate to each other so that’s a wild realization, come into my mind, it’s a fucking rave up in here.

Party cats.

Yeah, so that was a night. It was ok! I thought that I had drunk so much when I stood up and stumbled, but Henry pointed out that I only had one beer, LOLOL.

The next day, Chooch worked and Henry slept for HOURS because big baby was soooo tired boo hoo. Please. So I spent almost all day alone :( But then the idiot woke up and we went to Carnegie Coffee because I wanted matcha. It was pretty good. We also shared a cinnamon roll cake but I should have gotten my own because it was fucking good, man.

But yeah, mostly it was just a really boring and dreary day. Henry made soondubu jjigae for dinner, so that was a nice cozy New Years dinner. Then we just watched Korea cafe vlogs all evening and I cried about missing Korea. Typical.

I’ll tell you what though, I’m ready for HOLIDAY SEASON to be in the past. I still have my decorations up, but they will come down this weekend OK don’t judge me. Christ.