*except that I was with Henry so define ‘shenanigans.’

We left the house bright and early Saturday morning for our drive to Long Island. I was excited because while we have been to NYC, we’ve never been to Long Island and I like going to new places. I had been researching vegan places to eat at before the show and had it whittled down to one winner, so I was excited about that too!

Surprisingly, the drive was pretty calm. I wasn’t being a raging asshole like I have been for the last several months. I felt calm (with an underlying sense of OMG NCT DREAM rippling through my nervous system) and we didn’t fight at all. I even kept my wedding band on!

At one of many rest stops. I just wanted to get a picture in my Renjun shirt! (It was already announced last month that Renjun would be continuing his health hiatus and not joining the Dreamies for the US leg of their tour. Of course, I was heartbroken over this because everyone knows he is my Dream bias but I am also glad that he was given the option and did what he felt was right for him at the same. I’m not sure what his current standing is but he seemed to really be going through mental and emotional duress last spring and I just really hope he has been getting the help he needs and that he is being kind and gentle with himself. I worry about him so much. :(

The first half of the drive was spent finishing a book – The Clinic, it was just “OK.” Actually, it was kind of stupid, I lied. Literally nothing notable happened. I had avocado toast for breakfast from Dunkin’ (I know, don’t hate me for being so fucking fancy) and then later, veggie wrap from Sheetz. Henry really knows how to wine and dine a bitch.

But then once we reached the end of NJ and started seeing signs for THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE, things got livelier. And by that, I mean that we hit grid-locked traffic and it took us 45 minutes just to get on the bridge. Henry was flipping out but everyone around us seemed calm like this was normal, but Henry was like, “WHAT ARE THOSE CARS UP THERE DOING?? ARE THEY CREATING THEIR OWN LANE?? THEY CAN’T DO THAT!” OK, highway patrol, calm down.

NYC! No time to mess around there, sadly.

I loved this NY Welcome sign so much. We have never driven into NYC before – always taken the train from either Newark or Jersey City so this was all new. I FELT LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS. A WHOLE NEW WORLD BRIDGE.

We had several hours to kill once we got to Long Island and, after driving past UBS Arena and seeing the line of NCTzens that had already formed which got my heart racing a bit, we went straight to the vegan spot du jour – Toma-Tis. It’s vegan Caribbean cuisine! 

I’m just going to copy my Yelp review after this part, but I want to first talk about how relaxed and friendly the whole ordering process was. We were greeted by a super friendly lady who didn’t rush us – she was all smiles and didn’t make us feel like interlopers like sometimes will happen at vegan places, ugh. The pretension can be off the charts at times. But not here!

We placed our orders and then sat at a table by the window to wait. A woman who I assume is the owner came out front and started chatting with us – LOVED HER. We had a nice chat about being plant based and she was impressed that Henry, who still eats meat, cooks vegetarian / vegan food for me. And she and I both eschewed meat for the same reason – we didn’t like how our mothers cooked meat!

My favorite part was when the restaurant’s phone rang and it was a young kid calling from Jamaica! She kept saying, “Where’s your mother? Put your mother on the phone.” I guess he hung up and she goes, “That was a young kid calling from Jamaica!” and then she went in the back to tell the women in the kitchen too. LOL.

Then she asked where we’re from since I said we were traveling and I told her that we had come here from Pgh for a concert at UBS and she said, “Oh! You’re here for that concert?!” so I guess she knew about it!

NO WAIT I LIED. My favorite part was actually when she was asking us if we’ve ever had Jamaican food before. We said no (closest I would say is ShadoBeni here in Pgh which is vegan Trinidadian cuisine) and she exclaimed, “Oh my god! And this will be your first! What made you come here??” and I told her that we’re always looking for local vegan places when we’re traveling and this place stuck out to me when I saw it on Google. (“Thank you, Google!” she said.) She asked me if I ordered the jerk “chicken” and after I told her what I had ordered, one of the other ladies said, “He’s the jerk,” and pointed to Henry as she caught herself. “Oh no,  that’s not what I meant! I meant he ordered the jerk! I’m so sorry!” but we were all cracking up so bad and I kept saying, “No, it’s true, he is the jerk!” It was so funny.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE OK. YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.

Anyway, the owner told me to call her and let her know what I thought and I was going to do except that I am averse to phone calls so I did one better and left a thorough review on Yelp and Google. :)

I was just as excited to come here as I was for the concert!

First of all, the service was SO PERSONAL. Everyone there was so friendly, chatting with us about veganism, etc. The owner especially was so sweet and made us feel like we were really being taken care of.

We didn’t want to go crazy with ordering since we were going to be going to a concert right after and tried to order light by sharing the jerk chicken sandwich, a pumpkin patty and a jackfruit/chickpea patty, cassava fries, and a slice of pie which I think they said was some type of potato “pudding”?

Everything was so delicious, substantial, and satisfying! The cassava fries were light and not greasy at all but still had so much unique flavor, I was swooning over them!

The jerk chicken was out of this world and I regret not getting a whole one for myself! The seasoning, the crisp of the “chicken,” even the bread it was on was perfect.

Both patties were warm and savory, a perfect handheld snack. AND THAT PIE! Unlike anything I have ever eaten – it was just the right amount of sweet, loaded with spices and flavor, dense and chewy. One of those things that you eat and then can’t stop thinking about. We had half of it saved and I’m not going to lie – I thought about it a few times during the concert and then immediately dug into it in the car afterward!

I don’t want to come back here, I NEED to come back. The menu is so extensive, and I want to try some of the entrees – hoe many places do you know that serve vegan oxtail?? I need to try it.

I am so happy that we found Toma-Tis and I will be recommending it to all of my friends, vegan or not! (FWIW, Henry is not vegan and he devoured everything happily!)

pumpkin patty!

We drove a few minutes down the street to some state park (Valley Stream State Park – there, I’m a good blogger and I checked the geotag on my photos, HAPPY?) and stuffed our fucking faces at a picnic table while numerous family picnics were going on around us. It was F E S T I V E. Music was playing, people were grilling, a middle-aged Black dad was doing the cabbage patch and I wanted to join their party bigly. It was a lively park!

The picture does not do it justice but this is the jerk chicken sandwich that Henry split with me. It was so satisfying right down to the bread it was on. RegERT not getting my own, you know that’s right.

I really think the cassava fries were my favorite though! They were so light, not greasy at all, and the texture – well, if you’ve had anything made with cassava then you know, but it’s so pleasing. I don’t know what the sauce was – it was thick, creamy, and had a slight spicy tang to it. Made the cassava fries that much better which I didn’t think was possible!

THIS EFFING PIE! Just looking at it gave me a tastebud flashback in the best way possible. It was unlike anything I’ve ever tried. It had a very distinct spice that was definitely dominating the rest of the flavs – Henry said he thought it was nutmeg. Whatever it was, it left a very enjoyable aftertaste in my mouth that kept this pie on my mind for some time. We only ate half of it between us because it was so dense, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t craving it here and there during the concert later. (Yes, I ate some in the car on the way to the hotel afterward, LOL.)

After we ate, we had a really nice stroll around the park because:

1. I needed to get my 10,000 steps;
2. IT’S CALLED “NEEDING TO DIGEST,” MY FRIENDS.

This park was so nice and wooded! We saw many Mr. Gray Guys, and even a Cousin Bun Bun:

We left around 6pm to head back to UBS Area and begin what would become one of the best nights of 2024 (I mean, that’s not a hard title to take since this year has sucked so hard, but still!).

Thank god someone the Drexel Catholic group was on the ball yesterday for first day of classes or else this would have been a true of an era re: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICTURES!

I’m so excited about this, less sad than I thought I would be because I can already see him thriving and it’s the coolest feeling for a parent. Henry and I are both so proud of him!

I mean, as long as he doesn’t get off track, that is!!

You guys, some really good new music has been released recently (some today, some over the summer when I wasn’t in a no-music-zone because of crippling grief) and since I am still recovering from and processing the events of the weekend (all good, if you can believe it!) I decided to just do a music round-up and pretend like I’m some popfluencer or something.

Anyway, in no particular order, here are some non-NCT, un-Seventeen jams I’ve been into:

Kang Daniel forever, you guys. You know that’s right.

ONEW. I’m so glad he’s back.

I always say I’m going to fully stan Enhypen and I think now is my cue to hunker down and start learning names.

Girl groups haven’t been doing it for me much lately, but I do love this song by Kiss of Life bigly.

….and New Jeans in general. They are probably my favorite girl group if I had to answer with a gun to my head and everyone should go and support them IYKYK. (Seriously, just google them and you’ll see. Fuck HYBE. Support artists, not sinister conglomerates.)

I think FIVE is a solid number.

9:21am: Yo! It is Sunday morning, the day after NCT Dream and I am in that weird limbo state of being both happy and also having post-concert depression which I have to say hits different as a Kpop Stan. I have gone through many phases of music so I can say this with confidence and as if I have a PhD in these matters of the heart. We stayed at some Marriott in Cranbury, NJ after the original hotel in Wood-something NJ canceled the reservation during the concert last night so Henry had to scramble – RUDE! And then they still charged him so he had to fight with them while I was sleeping I guess to get our money back. (He did.)

Now we are stopping at Dunkin’ and heading out to Philly to give Chooch his TV and other crap he either forgot or wasn’t immediately needed last weekend. We drive a Kona so we couldn’t fit everything in one trip and knew we’d back out this way the next weekend much to Chooch’s delight lol.

Yesterday was pretty great, I have to say. Henry and I didn’t fight and I didn’t have any bad feelings and then we had amazing vegan food and saw NCT DREAM and for the first time since Bambi died, I almost feel like it’s going to be ok except that now I am crying because I mentioned her so…maybe some more time is needed haha 😩.

10:31am: we’re in Philly but Chooch just woke up and isn’t ready for us yet. Typical.

11:24am: Hilariously, we are now at Choochs dorm and Henry went to go park the car after unloading everything but then I couldn’t get into the dorm because I left my wallet at home and have no ID lllolol. I told the girl at the desk that I am the most irresponsible adult ever and she laughed in a way that said “don’t talk to me.” ;)

Anyway, now we’re waiting for Chooch to come back down so we can go get lunch I guess, I have no idea but I’m sad bc I was counting on using the bathroom in the dorm and now I have to hold it for the unforeseeable future.

11:45am :)

Guy in front of just licked Cheetos dust off his small child’s fingers and I almost vomited.

12:06pm: At Reading Terminal Market!

Henry spiraling out at the options. Sadly, the pretzel place was closed because Amish / Sunday. Luckily, we were aware of this in advance so there were no sudden disappointments to be had.

Stoked to have his photo taken again while he’s eating! It’s what MUM is best at.

Chooch and I got vegan deli sandwiches from LUHVS Deli – Chooch’s is the cubano and mine is corned beef. Obsessed. I loved the bread on mine especially. Chooch ate here earlier in the week and sent me a picture and said “I will take you here” and then when I asked him to take me there today he was like UGH FINE – wtf.

I don’t know what meaty thing Henry got but he also got ube fries!

This was so much fun and we actually didn’t fight!!

1:19pm: Now we’re at the art festival in Rittenhouse Square and this is chooch’s third and he apparently knows some of the artists at this point.

chooch and one of his artist friends who just exclaimed HEY YOURE BACK!

Apparently this guy’s roommate is from Pgh. Chooch is really making the rounds.

2:45pm: stopped for overpriced lattes at Le Pain Quotien and then some guy who has a table set up with a COME CHAT WITH ME sign interrupted a convo he was having with a young couple to tell me, “I just love your purse! I wanted to say it when you walked past before too” and then the couple sitting with him were like OMG and chooch was like WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE THAT DUMB PURSE AND NOT MY CROCS?!” Also a man at 4th St Cookies also liked it!!!

You guys why am I loving this dumb rival city so much.

2:58pm: Chooch is taking us on the trolley for the first time!

3:04pm: Henry being obsessed with mastering a new public transit thingie now:

3:23pm: OK we just walked him back to his dorm and said goodbye and I am ok!! He even said “wow why were you sadder last week?” And I said, “because I realized now that I will be back to visit often so I’m ok” and he said “no. You won’t.” This is my new fave city, guys!

4:30pm: Stopped at a rest area and when Henry was collecting trash to throw out he “spilled Red Bull” on himself and when I saw it I burst out laughing and said, “I am NOT walking in there with you” while he was looking for pants to change into.

“Just go, asshole!” he said, as he was still getting the garbage (and the can of alleged Red Bull offender) together.

LOL I was cracking up alone on my walk through the parking lot so who looks more embarrassing, really.

4:44pm: Still at this fucking rest stop because Henry not only had to change pants but also “GO TO THE BATHROOM” aka POOP and now we’re waiting for our coffee. He tried to hold my hand and I said, “Ew people probably think you trafficked me, get off.”

4:49pm: On the way out, Henry said that not only did he have to change but he also had to TAKE OFF HIS UNDERWEAR bc they too were wet and he didn’t have an extra pair to change into!!!! I AM SO DEAD.

Meanwhile, an old man & youngish girl got out of a car and Henry said, “Did she get out of the backseat?”

“Maybe she’s being trafficked too. DO YOU KNOW THAT GUY? Is he a part of the same RING as you?”

But then as we drive past we saw that an older lady was in the passenger seat so I guess the more plausible explanation is that was a dad and daughter. Stand down.

6:56pm: Nothing cool or exciting has happened since my last check-in aside from me ranting about racist Americans and Karens complaining about people dancing at concerts.

7:45pm: An hour left. My throat hurts from last night. I’m calling this live blog. PISSSSSS OUT.

Henry and I went to Many More (my first time here since they moved to their new location!) because I decided that he needs to start making me Korean dishes for dinner like the old days. I’m really struggling to feel any sense of familiarity here in light of all the big and small changes that have dropped on me this past year. Look, I am actively trying to get better and resume living my life here ok? Let me type this shit out.

So, on Monday I had my first homemade bibimbap in…years, actually. It made me so happy.

I think I also need to find some new routines too. I told Henry that I cannot live like this anymore, logging off work and just…sitting on the couch half-watching YouTube or going for like 4 walks a day because I have so much nervous energy.

So we are going to maybe find some new hobbies, be more social, I don’t know what this will look like yet. Maybe have more get togethers and go out more in general?! What do other empty nesters do? Take up ballroom dancing or something, right?

I did start exercising again so that is a start!

Baby steps I guess. I dunno that I ever had a “groove” that I need to get back, but it’s something like that lol.

This past year has given me whiplash.

Anyway, here’s a cute picture of Penelope using a Drexel shirt as a pillow <3

The day finally came where Chooch spread his wings while Henry and I called out from the ground, “FLY BABY BIRD FLY” which is what I would have said on here in all sincerity if I were a momfluencer or something and not an affection claustrophobe who legit just cringed when she typed that. But in all fairness, my eyes did spontaneously squirt in copious amounts the moment we arrived at the designated “move-in meet-up lot” where we drove through a series of checkpoints manned by high-energy Drexel staff / volunteers who were eager to be a part of our journey, or at least did a fantastic job acting like it.

When Chooch peeped my soggy eyeballs, he said, “No. Don’t do that.”

I guess I should also note that Henry refused to listen to Chooch when he was trying to tell him that we weren’t supposed to go directly to the dorm, but of course Henry was like I AM MAN, I KNOW EVERYTHING and tried to pull past the cop that was partially blocking the street that the dorm is on, and the cop was like WRONG. PULL OVER AND I WILL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS and then the car behind us was beeping so the cop stepped up and yelled, “HOLD ON! YOU JERK OFF*.” And then scowled at him as the car zipped past us. I was dying. It is rare that I like a cop but this guy was a winner.

*(Had this been a Pittsburgh cop, it would have been JAG OFF. Don’t say I don’t teach you stuff on here, non-‘Burghers. Maybe we’ll do a quiz at the end of the year. Pay attention.)

So, Chooch was correct and there was the aforementioned parking lot that was designated as the first stop, where we checked in, got the tag for the car which included name tags that the movers would need, and then we all got pins too! That’s all I cared about really. My DREXEL MOM pin which I immediately attached to my hamburger purse that served as the thorn in Chooch’s side all day when COLLEGE STUDENTS were peppering me with enthusiastic compliments and probably whispered, “IS SHE HIS SISTER? SHE IS COOL” behind our backs.  Yeah, that’s me. You know that’s right.

Anyway! Now that we were properly tagged, we drove back to the dorm and this time the cop stepped aside for us and I waved at him frantically, but he ignored me.

Drexel has their move-in process so well-oiled, I will give them that. We were in the 9:30am time slot and when we rolled up to the dorm, a group of movers started taking all of Chooch’s crap out of the car and loading it into a giant box with his name and room # on it, plus we were required to tag all of his stuff too before getting there. This whole process took about a minute. It couldn’t have gone more smoothly!

From here, we went to the Drexel parking garage to stash our car so that we could then troll campus. Right as we got out of the car, my mom texted and asked if we met the roommate yet. Right as I was saying ‘not yet,’ Chooch started walking to a car behind ours where a family had just gotten out and yep – it was the roommate! They became IG friends a few mths ago and sort of got to know each other that way, to the extent that your average 18 year old opens up on social media.

The roommate is Kussh from NJ and his parents were SO DOWN TO THE EARTH, but also way more parental than Henry and me – the dad in Dockers and the mom in respectable slacks. Henry was in his usual costume of a baggy shirt in some ugly cousin of coral, and I was wearing an ATEEZ concert shirt with my hamburger purse.

When we got to the dorm room, the mom handed me a Clorox wipe and I was like, “Oh…thanks” and then had to low key watch to see what I was supposed to do with it. She had immediately begun to wipe down all surfaces, so I followed suit, albeit with much less vigor. I helped a little, I swear I did, but after a while I just sat on the bed and surveyed the progress like the foreman of a construction site.

I had to send this to my mom. Somewhere along the way, Chooch had found this old sweatshirt from my Pappap’s drywall company. It must have been in the attic closet, I don’t know, but he had started wearing it several years ago and it made it to Drexel with him!

As well as Wawa coupons that a co-worker sent him which, according to my friend Nate “add some color to the cinder block walls” lol.

After a first pass at getting the room organized, we ventured out to campus to see what was going on (and by this I mean that Chooch was on the prowl for “free shit” – his favorite past time). After signing up for a raffle at a Giant table (still not sure if this affiliated with our local Giant Eagle supermarkets and here I am with the wide world web at my fingertips but also happen to be sitting under a cloak of ambivalence so maybe later), and grabbing a free water bottle, he went and got his Dragon card.

I really like that he’s at a school with an urban campus. It’s so bustling and exciting there! AND FOOD TRUCKS EVERYWHERE.

He’s on the second floor from the top!

There’s a good bit of green space too and you will be happy to know – A TON OF MR. GRAY GUYS. (Gray squirrels, duh.) I kept calling out, “Hi Mr. Gray Guy! I love you!” every 10 seconds much to Chooch’s delight.

Then it was lunch time! We walked to a nearby food hall called Franklin Table or something which appeared to be more on the UPenn campus (Drexel and UPenn butt up against each other, much like two similar colleges in Chooch’s hometown – Pitt and CMU. I hadn’t even realized that parallel until my friend Lori pointed it out and I was like, “…..oh!). I wanted to go here because Goldie, a vegan joint known for their tahini shakes. I’ve been following them for years on Instagram and now it was finally time!

I got the OG flavor and can confirm that it was worth the wait. I want to have one every time I visit Chooch now. I got some rice paper burrito thing with tofu at a neighboring counter (so did Chooch) and I liked it but it was too big and also a pain in the ass to eat. So I traded with Henry and gave him my remaining half for his Goldie’s falafel plate. Also – their pita was SO GOOD AND WARM AND FLUFFY!

Henry and Chooch both got drinks from a boba place there too. Between all these nearby vegan options and the dining hall(s) at Drexel, Chooch better never complain about being hungry because I felt extremely well-fed!

This was a street behind the Franklin food thingie – it’s so cute!

Then we took Septa (I hate that name so much) to the H-Mart in Upper Darby which was definitely not the best H-Mart I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the best one in Philly but it was the most convenient one for us to get to at that time. Chooch picked up some snacks and treats for the room and I got myself a bag of those adorable salt bread snacks that I bought in Seoul and somehow spent a whole week eating in the hotel room:

Um, it did not take me a week to eat the whole bag this time, though.

Definitely NOT the face of someone who will miss their mother snapping photos of them doing ordinary things like waiting for the subway. BUT MAYBE HE WILL.

Then we came back to University City and explored some more, got some free shirts, he ran from table to table in the welcome center, making connections, signing up for things, getting the scoop on upcoming events. It was fun to hang back and watch him go off. I am certain that he was made for the college life.

I dunno what was going on here, probably just me being excited that Chooch has a dorm room.

View from his window!

I made him change into his Drexel shirt LOL. What – other people were also wearing theirs?!

AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A BETTER PICTURE OF HIM WITH THE DRAGON! THE PICTURE I HAD BEEN HOPING FOR ALL WEEKEND!

I’d like to point out that some of the RAs commented on my hamburger purse :) Hopefully they will recognize Chooch going forward as “that kid with the cool mom who we originally thought was also a student because she was so YOUNG AND COOL LOOKING.”

Hahaha. Ugh.

We walked around campus a bit before leaving because Chooch wanted to see the Computer Science building. On the way there, we saw a young Asian couple arguing in the same way couples in Korea argue – usually they will stand and look at each other in anger without really speaking and something akin to that was happening here until the girl stormed off ahead of him and at that point I was like, “Aw, that looks like me and Henry.”

Anyway, as soon as we came out of the computer science building, the guy-part of the couple came RUNNING past us, but his girlfriend was no longer with him! There is a Kung Fu Tea on the block, and two people came running to the door to watch this, like they recognized him, and I deduced that perhaps Kung Fu Tea was the origin of the fight??

I guess you had to be there, but we were pretty invested. I wonder if they are still fighting.

A NEON MUSEUM is also attached to the computer science building!!

Um…then we walked and got coffee at Madis which we attempted to go to last April but it was PACKED because there was also a street fair happening that day and everyone was out and about. It wasn’t that much less crowded this time either, I will tell you that much. I dunno, it was ok. But I ordered poorly – I felt rushed and just got a plain iced latte instead of something fun because I couldn’t see the menu.

This was moments before we finally cut the cord and left OUR BABY IN PHILLY. Henry per usual took the worst picture of me but whatever, at least I have it. Then Henry went back inside to pee and while he was in there, Chooch was like, “Well, I guess I’m going back to my room now” and I said, “You’re not going to say goodbye to your dad?”

“I mean…if I see him in there, I will.”

W-O-W lol.

I was sitting on the wall watching, and right when Chooch got to the door, Henry started to come out, and what happened next will be seared into my memory forever.

HENRY SHOOK HIS HAND.

Chooch’s face scrunched up in confusion. Then they were both laughing so hard that their faces were red. I think they also attempted to hug but that was thwarted by both of them being awkward and then they gave up and went their separate ways. I was fucking dying, like literally almost pissed my pants, watching this unfold and by the time Henry joined me, I could barely breathe.

“WTF WAS THAT?” I wheezed. “You shook his hand??”

“Well, he was turned at a weird angle and I couldn’t hug him, I don’t know!” Henry laughed.

I guess Henry also thought that Chooch was on his way inside to find him to say goodbye and I said, “Oh, no. He had every intention on just going straight to his room. He said if he ran into you, fine.”

“Wow,” Henry muttered.

Overall, I feel OK about this. I haven’t had any soul-crushing cry seshes since we’ve been home (I did have a few last spring though – this whole-ass process has been stressful AF, I am not even being overly dramatic here) and I think right now, I am feeling really excited for him and also a sense of FOMO because I didn’t go to college right after high school and I never really regretted it but I think I would have been SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT. I mean, the social part. I was a real character back then, had no fear, no filter, was loud and proud. Basically, who my therapist is helping me find again. :)

I’m really stoked to get to see more of Philly and find places that can be my “spot” when I visit. I definitely want to try more matcha places! He is apparently going to take us to Reading Terminal Market on Sunday because of all of the times we have been in Philly, we have not once been there and he just went yesterday with a group and sent me pictures.

“Don’t worry, they have donuts too,” he said, and I was like, “WOW, you make me sound like a cop.”

We finished the Drew “Nightmare” Bambi Walden memorial portrait over the weekend. Henry did most of the heavy lifting because staring at her picture in Photoshop was breaking my heart all over again.

I think it turned out immaculately, she is so forever special to us and having this on the wall, right across from Marcy, is helping me heal a little.

It’s so hard to get a picture without a million neon and LED lights glaring off it!

(Also don’t mind all the junk on the shelves. I need to start reorganizing back there now that Chooch is away and not dumping all his games behind the hand chair!)

The background is wallpaper from my aunt Sharon’s bedroom at my Pappap’s house. <3

Marcy <3

Also, I have my tribute tattoo scheduled for October 5th with my fave artist Erin so that will also help heal my heart too I hope.

I have reached the next mood phase of whatever….THIS….is that I have been going through for the last few months / year. And that is extreme irritability and agitation. Literally I’m so pissed off about everything, so mad at everyone, just so annoyed and let down.

And you know what else I’m bad about? Books. I just want to be rocked to my core by a book and that really hasn’t been happening much this year. Is it me, not them? WHO CAN BE SURE.

That being said, here’s the lineup of books from August and if I am remembering correctly, most aren’t even worth mentioning.

1. Foolish: Tales of Assimilation, Determination, and Humiliation by Sarah Cooper

LOL well I lied because right off the bat was this 4-star memoir by Sarah Cooper, whom I LOVE and this was never going to be less than 4 stars for me. Biased. If you don’t know who she is, she is a comedian, writer, and actor who used to work in the tech industry and went viral at the beginning of the pandemic for her HYSTERICAL Trump lip-sync videos on TikTok and Instagram. I fangirled immediately and even though she no longer does the Trump vids, I have no regrets and have never looked back. She is such a character. This kept me rapt and entertained from start to finish.

2. Heaven’s Crooked Finger (Earl Marcus #1) by Hank Early

I think I had one hour left to the audio and I just couldn’t do it. This book was so dry.

3. Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

Worst Weiner I’ve ever had read. It was a whole lotta WTFs and then we had POV chapters from characters that shouldn’t have been given the stage. Clunky. Not memorable at all.

4. We Were the Universe by Kimberly King Parsons

OK now that I’m getting into this recap, I’m realizing that August wasn’t a write-off (HAHA a pun HAHAHA) after all because this book got me good. 4.5 stars, weird, wacky, uncomfy. The writing was absolutely nuts. Loved it. Kimberly King Parsons, you are on my radar, babe.

5. Go Home, Ricky! by Gene Kwak

Dude, I loved this one too! 5 stars! The only bad thing about this book is that I was reading it to and from Chicago which was such a bipolar, dysfunctional, traumatic trip so I do pair those associations with the reading journey. But not even that can take away from how much I enjoyed this story, the writing, the characters!! This played out so vividly in my head like an irreverent dark comedy series. Make room for Kwak on my radar, Parsons.

6. The Resort by Sara Ochs

I’m taking a pass on this one. It was boring.

7. NCT 127: Limitless by NCT 127

An NCT127 manhwa?? Hell yes. 4 stars because it was kind of like….huh? And I couldn’t tell who was supposed to be who but it’s NCT127 so any NCTzen is going to like it. (The Kpop industry is OBSESSED with dreams as a concept though, I will tell you that much.)

8. I Hope This Finds You Well by Natalie Sue

This was fine but didn’t make me want to Q-Tip my imaginary dickhole over it. I saw this compared to Elenor Oliphant and I would agree because the main character is a bit unlikeable and very socially awkward. Almost the entire book takes place in an office and that felt kind of suffocating at times. I was excited when there was an impromptu trip to a bowling alley at one point.

9. House of Glass by Sarah Pekkanen

Creepy concept featuring a creepy kid but the ending wasn’t as….creepy as I wanted. There was a lot of extraneous detail with side relationships and characters that had no pay off and didn’t add much to the plot in whole so that was frustrating. But overall, I didn’t chuck it across the road when I finished. (Probably because I listened to the audio and had nothing to chuck. My headphone! I could have chucked those. But I didn’t because this didn’t inspire any angry, chuck-inducing tendencies within me.)

10. She Started It by Sian Gilbert

1 star. You’ve read this before. Probably at least a dozen times. Tired ass bully mean girl revenge Agatha Christie trope. It was vapid. All of the characters were cut from the same cardboard. The twist didn’t shock and awe me.

11. Midnight on Beacon Street by Emily Ruth Verona

Most compelling thing about this book is the cover.

So much potential. FAILED. I thought this was going to be fun nostalgic slasher romp but it was fucking stupid and a total waste of time.

12. The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

I had no idea what this was about until I started reading it so when The Thing happens (and it happens in the first chapter) I was like, “Oh. OK!” and I think had I known, I would have skipped because it’s borderline scifi / time fuckery which I try to lean away from but THIS. THIS I liked. It was crazy and fast-paced and also, I felt mildly panicked while reading it too because it was like being in a loop and that is a fear. The loop. Getting stuck. But I enjoyed this, the writing was snappy and funny, and I gave it 4.

13. We Used to Live Here by Marcus Kliewer

Did I understand this? No. Did it give me the creeps? Yep. 4 stars. Read it and then explain it to me please.

It’s billed as Get Out meets Parasite and I didn’t get that vibe at all. Also, I just saw that Netflix picked this up and BLAKE LIVELY is going to be in it. PASS.

14. City of Likes by Jenny Mollen

This was wild. I definitely felt again like I was watching some very messy Girls-esque series on HBO but with young NYC moms and one of them was a legit momfluencer who I couldn’t stop picturing my ex-friend Seri as because this bitch was so full of shit and insufferable and toxic….just like Seri! I did not see The Thing That Happened Near the End coming AT ALL and I actually screamed and then cheered in a really sick, guilty, depraved manner. I gave it 4 stars because it was a fun, pleasurable read. Maybe it wasn’t super memorable, but it was different and a good way to end the month. Also, I had no idea who this writer was until I got to the acknowledgements and it was her and her husband going back and forth (I listened to this on audio) and there was something about it that made me stop and say – wait, who actually are these people? So I looked her up on IG and she is actually an actore I guess? And her husband is Jason Biggs and OMG I’m dying now because I just saw that she was actually on Girls, LOL. That checks.

***********************

The end.

Going through MEMORIES which is never a good idea for me when I’m cocooned in feels, but I found some posts re: Chooch’s first time* in Philly and so here is a throwback on this non-Thursday. Again, it makes me laugh (not really in a haha way, but more like a WTF chortle) because we have still not done any of the obligatory tourist things!

Anyway, I think was from 2015. Unforch, the ice cream place we went to is no longer there :(

*(Yo, I really need to actually get the correct facts before posting this shit. First I said this was 2014. It was 2015, now fixed. Then I said it was Chooch’s first visit to Philly. It was his second. The first was in 2014 so I was half-correct.

See also: WHO CARES.)

*******
Saturday morning, Henry, Chooch and I woke up early and drove to Philly to hang out with our friends Terri and Christian, but more importantly, so Terri and I could go to the Armor For Sleep show later that night. I still can’t believe I convinced Henry to do this, right on the heels of Riot Fest. I think he’s just worn down at this point in our relationship.

(I probably would have just gone by myself if it came down to it, but I really like traveling with both of my fam-bots. We’re kind of like a really annoying package, like a box of kazoos.)

The day started off annoyingly with two back-to-back botched coffee orders at Sheetz (I mean, my standards for gas station coffee are low to begin with, but the teenage girl working that morning took the liberty of burying them for me). About an hour later, we stopped at a rest area on the turnpike so I could get better coffee (Starbucks — not much of an improvement) and Henry made this huge production of “finally” getting something for himself to eat, since Chooch and I ordered breakfast sandwiches at Sheetz and he chose not to (NOT OUR FAULT—he is our keeper, we are not his). He stormed off to buy himself some Auntie Anne’s pretzel bites, which is his favorite turnpike treat because his blue-collar taste buds crave the snack of coal miners and junkyard proprietors.

(I wrote my senior thesis on the dietary habits of coal miners and junkyard proprietors, so don’t even try to question me on this one.)

While Henry was in line for his roadside brunch, Chooch and I pretended to be interested in a cabinet full of Pennsylvania Turnpike curios. (It really did make me long for the days of Howard Johnsons, though.) Suddenly, Henry breezed past us, popping a piping hot pretzel bite into his idiot mouth, and tossed us a smug glance over his shoulder.

“LOOK AT THAT CONFIDENT STRIDE!” I screamed to Chooch, who immediately set off to imitate him. We were laughing so hard by the time we reached our car that Henry was threatening to lock us out. Oh god, the fodder that Henry unwittingly provides.

The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful. I just made Henry mad with my schizophrenic fan-girling and Chooch played stupid games on Henry’s phone. Nothing really happened because we were just trying to get to Philly as quickly as possible so that we would have time to spend with our friends before we became burnt out on each others’ company.

****

We got to Christian and Terri’s place around 2:00 and after hanging out and eating their candy for a bit, Christian drove us into the city, where Henry was having quiet fits in the backseat because Philly’s jaywalking epidemic is much worse than Pittsburgh’s and if there’s one thing he hates, it’s a fucking jaywalker.

One of the jaywalkers was missing an arm, so we were nice to that one. BUT STILL. Way to be entitled.

We had a late lunch at Su Xing House, an entirely vegetarian Chinese restaurant. Sometimes, it’s the little things like this that remind me there is a god up there somewhere after all. But then Chooch acted like a spoiled brat because HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTED AND HE DIDN’T  KNOW WHAT ANYTHING WAS PLEASE SEND HELP so I was like, “Yep, and there’s a Satan, too.” Henry and I were giving him suggestions so that turned into STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO and this had all of the potential to turn really ugly, but then he ended up ordering a tofu appetizer and also a bowl of unpeeled, steamed edamame; that kept him busy. Especially when he was trying to cut the tofu and Henry was like HELP HIM and I was like I CAN’T DO IT EITHER HELP. Terri said watching Chooch devise new food-cutting tactics was entertaining but I was too busy bracing myself for disaster to be entertained.

It’s moments like these when I’m reminded that Chooch is definitely still a kid.

For Christ’s sake, this restaurant is delightful. As a vegetarian, I’m not used to walking into a restaurant and struggling to order because there is too much to choose from. So much tofu and seitan, I couldn’t decide! Henry got the General Tso’s seitan (predictable) and Terri got some amazing sesame thing. I’m not sure what Christian got but it looked fantastic too. I ended up getting Under the Sea, which was a faux, crispy fish in a sweet and sour sauce. It was DELICIOUS, but the presentation was extremely creepy because it was in the shape of a whole fish and it looked so realistic. I struggled with that for a second. Not going to post the picture here because it might trigger some sensitive gag reflexes out there.

I also got a taro tapioca and was not sad about that at all. Taro is so goddamn underrated!

Henry should make a taro pie for the pie party…

We honestly spent the whole time talking about music and I took a second to silently thank Jason Pettigrew for bringing us together in 2011. I remember parting ways with them that night after the AP show at the House of Blues in Cleveland and saying to Henry, “I really, really hope that we see them again.” And there we were, almost four years later, sitting together and eating excellent vegetarian food at Su Xing House.

I mean, ahem. It was a cool time. And I’m totally not getting all misty as I write this because that would be so unlike me. Black heart. Thick skin.

****

After we ate, it was finally time for Big Gay Ice Cream. I have been so excited about this ever since I found out Philly was getting a location! Who can resist flamboyant ice cream?! It wasn’t open yet when we were there last December, but I knew we would back soon enough to experience its gay goodness. Terri said that she actually had  been waiting for us to visit again before trying it — she is so sweet!

Christian went back to the car because he was going to try to park closer to Big Gay Ice Cream while the rest of us walked there. It wasn’t a terribly long walk and the weather was seriously perfect that afternoon. I was really happy to be walking because we were in a part of the city that I hadn’t been to yet and I love looking at things, like all of the riff raff and stores that are so much better than what we have in Pittsburgh. Downtown Pittsburgh is not very bustling. And it’s definitely not where people go just to shop. But if you’re looking for a CVS or check cashing place, you’re in luck.

“Yeah, this is the theater district,” Terri explained as we skirted around a pack of ridiculously-dressed rich older persons. One of the women, who looked like a younger Stacey from What Not To Wear, was blabbing about something and she sounded so vapid, it was almost a parody. All I could think was, “God, you sound so idiotic, yet you’re still better than me in so many ways.” The world is super unfair, guys. I just found out.

Henry walked ahead of us the whole time because he knows everything. LOOK AT THAT CONFIDENT STRIDE! Chooch and I kept mocking him, which is what we do best. It’s our specialty. Like, if we had to do a talent show, we’d probably just do that. Terri was laughing after the 6th “confident stride” mention, but then quickly stifled it and said, “I shouldn’t laugh, I’m just encouraging you guys!”

THAT IS WHAT FEEDS US, TERRI. DON’T STOP.

Did you know the Pope is coming to Philly!? I actually didn’t until Friday night when Terri texted me to see where we were staying. I told her that Henry was having a hard time finding anything close to them without spending over $200, presumably because there was a football game scheduled, and she replied, “Good thing the Pope isn’t visiting this weekend!”

I just said “Inorite?” or “haha” or something, because I thought she was just being facetious, equating a home football game to a visit from the Pope.

Nope, the Pope is really visiting Philly.

I wish I had known, because I would have worn my Pope Francis shirt!

(Except mine is green, yo.)

I’d actually really like to see the Pope. I saw Pope John Paul II when I was younger and it was amaze, but Francis is the best damn Pope of all time. I don’t give a fuck what your Gram says.

AND THEN BIG GAY ICE CREAM HAPPENED! Oh, it was overwhelming. The choices! The toppings! The paletas (whatever the fuck that means)! I was originally going to get the Bea Arthur because I felt like that was the obvious choice for a Big Gay Virgin, but at the last second, I freaked out and ordered the Mermaid, which is a sundae with KEY LIME CURD and pie crust crumbs. I had ordering remorse right away, but then I tried it and felt really satisfied with my decision.

The Golden Girls décor made me unbelievably happy. REMEMBER WHEN SOPHIA STOLE THE POPE’S RING!?

CHOKING!

Ultimate bae.

All those fabulous, flamboyant flavor combinations and Henry goes for his good ol’ standby: the twist. Plain, nondescript, and dependable. JUST LIKE HENRY.

I was ragging on him about this again today and Chooch shrugged and said, “He can’t help it. That’s just who he is.”

The Mermaid was like a giant key lime nipple, It was delicious. And honestly, underneath all the disco dance floor ceiling lights and fig & blood orange balsamic syrup, that plain vanilla soft serve was really fucking great. It was dense and rich and the perfect base for all of those gay fixins.

Terri got a Monday Sundae and when I saw that her cone was being lined with Nutella, I was like, “Stahhhhp!” Ugh, why didn’t I order that!? I need to go back there right this second and try everything. And then buy a magnet, since they were out of stock. :(

I love how annoyed Henry and Chooch look in this picture. “Oh wow. What a shocker. Mommy is taking pictures of us eating ice cream. Again. Like the Internet doesn’t already know what we look like when holding ice cream cones in our angry-fists by now.” At least Terri was happy!

Seriously, this picture makes me laugh so hard.

ME N’ MY GIRL.

 
Later on, Terri and I went to the Trocadero for the show, while the guys hung out and I’m sure Chooch drove them nuts. (More on the show in another post!)

 ****

Where we stay really doesn’t matter too much to us since we’re barely there when we road trip like this, but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the Motel 6 we stayed at. I always thought those places were dumps, but this one had been recently renovated and was pretty mod. AND CLEAN. The place we stayed outside of Chicago was reallllly questionable. But, all I cared about was being close to Riot Fest, and that shitty Econo Lodge did the trick.

There was a lot of orange in this joint, but I got over it.

I miss Terri, Christian, and Philly already. I know Pittsburgh and Philly are supposed to be enemies or whatever, but I just love that damn city. Next time, I’d like to visit when there isn’t a show to attend so that we’ll have more time to do stuff and drive Henry and Christian nuts!

I can’t remember how much I mentioned in my quick post from Friday and don’t feel like looking but I can tell you in a nutshell that Friday was a whirlwind of emotions even though the Actual Day of Dread was Saturday. I think I was so focused on having “a good, perf day” that I got in my head and way too in my feelings and actually made myself sick and miserable off and on for the whole day (also Henry’s presence in general exacerbated my bad mood but that is a whole other that we don’t care to get into now, right?).

We left the house around 8am and after making what felt like a zillion stops along the way, got to Drexel around 2pm I think? The plan was to go to the bookstore and get that financial damage out of the way and just sort of get the lay of the land. When we were there last April, Chooch hadn’t committed yet so this time it was for real. AND I NEEDED A PICTURE OF HIM WITH MARIO THE DRAGON STATUE! He refused to indulge me in April but now that he’s an actual Drexel student, I think he realizes that there were certain bones he has to throw to mom during these fragile times.

WOMAN. ON. THE. EDGE.

I really like that he chose a college in a big(ish) city. He will never be bored, that’s for sure! We have been to Philly a generous handful of times at this point and have barely scratched the surface so while I’m sad that he will be 5 hours from home, I’m excited to have a reason to get to know Pittsburgh’s rival city in greater depth! (I will say right now that my greatest takeaway after this particular visit is that the stench of pot is so strong here that it’s like it permeated the lining of nostrils because I cannot shake that scent, 24 hours later.)

After sorting out the textbook sitch, we walked to Hip City Veg which was a much farther walk than Henry had advertised and I was HONGRY so this was not ideal. I somehow managed to keep the Big Fits tucked away for future use though and only dealt a moderate verbal evisceration.

Anyway!!! I had wanted to check out Hip City Veg for a bit so I was stoked to finally be there and that there’s a location near the Drexel campus (we could have been lazy and taken the subway – I think they call it the L in Philly – one stop so I will keep this in mind for next time). With all the veg-friendly dining options in University City alone, PLUS the great dining plan he’s on at Drexel, Chooch better never tell me he’s hungry.

Henry got the vegan cheesesteak which made me LOL because Megan’s bf Eric wrote a list of cheesesteak recs in Chooch’s grad party guest book even though Megan was like, “Eric, he doesn’t eat meat!” and then the one who DOES eat meat got a vegan one! Anyway, he let me try it and it was OK.

I got the grilled fake chicken baddie and it was DELECTABLE but also made my stomach REVOLT. I need to get tested for food allergies. I have a sneaking suspicion that I have a moderate gluten thing going on, either that or I just have my stomach so trained to not want to accept anything other than protein shakes and PB toast and other bland pantry staples like saltines. My current diet is so nursing home bad that almost every time I eat outside of the house I feel like my stomach is going to explode, like you can actually see a noticeable bloat like I’m pregnant with a helium balloon.

But even still, this fucking sandwich was worth it, it was so good. And the sweet potato fries were delicious too and I have to admit that I almost said “delish” which is something I would NEVER say, I am going through some terrible changes and fighting it every step of the way.

THEN WE TOOK THE L OR WHATEVER TO CHINATOWN, YAY! Specifically, because I wanted to go to MATCHA PANDA. Love me some matcha.

My stomach was so mad at me and I had no business putting anything additional into it but boy, I wanted a matcha latte and a fucking cake, ok. Also, I had a killer caffeine headache because some douchebag screwed me over at a rest stop and was already paying for his shit by the time I joined him after peeing and then AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT, turned to me AFTER HE SWIPED HIS CREDIT CARD and asked, “Oh, did you want something?”

I said, “Ha, guess not” AND STORMED OUT AND ON MY WAY TO THE EXIT I TOOK OFF MY WEDDING BAND AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN’T CHUCKED THIS INTO A LARGE BODY OF WATER BY NOW IS BECAUSE I MADE THIS RING IN KOREA AND FOR THAT REASON ALONE, IT STAYS.

So then, get this, he stops at the NEXT REST STOP and gets me coffee at 7-11 which I proceed to not drink out of principle, and that is how I ended up with a caffeine headache – NO, NOT BECAUSE I’M A STUBBORN CUNT, WHO SAID THAT? Because Henry is SELFISH and OBLIVIOUS! is the correct answer.

Thank you.

OMG all of the booths were so spacious and had giant stuffed animals at each other. I felt like VIP.

The matcha barista was super friendly and the vibes were vibing, totally immaculate. There was lo-fi r&b playing and yo, I felt like we were in a cafe in Korea and now as I am typing this and remembering the serene atmosphere, my eyes are tearing up. It burns. The memories of Korea sting my eyeballs.

Earl Grey and Pistachio millecrepes. D I V I N E. Asian desserts / flavor profiles are my faves.

And this matcha was magnificent. I love matcha so much. There was very little sweetness to this so the matcha really shone through boldly. Loved it for me. Henry did not like it and said it tasted like the earth but also, Henry does not like matcha in general. This is not the matcha that you get at somewhere shitty like Starbucks. This was legit.

Henry got a banana milk latte and he said, “Ehhh….it wasn’t terrible, I’ve had bet—-I mean, it wasn’t terrible. Let’s go with this.”

Chooch got a Spanish latte and didn’t like it. I don’t know what to do with these critiques because they’re coming from two people who, at the end of the day, do not like any type of coffee or espresso drink unless it comes from Dunkin’ and even then – do they really?!!? They load their drinks up with so many pumps of flavor syrups! How would they even know!?

Excuse the messy table, but I just loved the emerald / jade green color palette going on here. It was so soothing. Especially paired with the music.

I think this will become a place I visit regularly when I’m in town. (Much to Henry’s chagrin lol.)

Took the L back, got the car from the parking garage, and finally went to check in to the hotel which was a generic extended stay next to the airport so that made me nervous but the room was nice and it ended up being fine noise-wise too.

Chooch was pissed because he was relegated to the pull-out couch haha.

We rested for about 90 minutes and then I was being a bigmouth about wanting go AND DO SOMETHING. I mean, it was 7pm on a Friday night and Henry was content with just rotting away in the hotel room but I wanted to go out and live my life. I suggested Penn’s Landing (and by suggest I mean that I screamed I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, PENN’S LANDING MAYBE!? IDIOT!!!) and this entailed us driving back into the city when I thought we would just Uber or take pub-trans but Henry Knows Best, and then we saw pretty immediately that Penn’s Landing is under construction but by now, Henry was determined to park so that I could walk BY THE WATER which is what I kept crying about. I don’t even LIKE water that much but when I’m a different city it’s like WE HAVE TO BE NEAR THE WATER OR WE’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT. I have no idea, don’t look for my travel guides anywhere anytime soon, that’s all I’m saying.

Henry finally found somewhere to park after AT LEAST AN HOUR of driving in circles with me and Chooch screaming “YOU COULD HAVE FIT THERE!” at him every 5 minutes, causing him to fire back with I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, ONE OF YOU TWO ASSHOLES CAN FEEL FREE TO DRIVE THEN! and we were like LOL NICE TRY.

Anyway, once we did park and then walk over to the water pier thingies, it was nice. We didn’t do anything aside from watch a dance-off and see some rats scurrying out in the open, but it was still better than sitting in the hotel room and whatever part of town this (old town??) was really fucking cute.

And then we went to Wawa and got back to the hotel around 11 which is an acceptable time to go to bed while out of town. If you ask me, anyway.

Hello from Philly :( Last night, we had a little pizza send-off with my mom and Corey, Judy, and Chooch’s two friends – Isai and Zakk.

It was a really nice and casual night even though the underlying tone was SADNESS.

Corey got roped into playing two different games and had no idea what he was doing for both but ended up winning twice.

We left the house this morning around 8 and it was pretty anti-climatic. He said his goodbyes to Penelope but I know if he had to say goodbye to Drew this morning, there would have been big tears.

I was going to live blog but Henry put me in a bad mood and then I slept most of the time anyway.

So, I don’t know what else to say. We are recharging in the hotel room right now and I guess will be going back into the city here at some point and then tomorrow morning is actual move-in.

Bye.

This will primarily just be a photo-dump because we are in the throes of college move-in day prep and I can’t focus, as evidenced by the myriad screenshots that Henry sent me of yesterday’s post with typos circled by him.

Thoughts on this:

• Total sadness that Henry is the one catching my typos. Henry. Let this sink in.
• Some of my typos weren’t even misspellings but actual bizarre syntax clusterfucks that I truly have no idea what part of my brain I was visiting to bring back these crazy-ass ESL souvenirs.
• Love that the emails that are sent out when I post include the entire post so that all of my mistakes can live on in perpetuity even if I fix them on the website. Not that many / any people read it but still, that makes me uncomfy. I think Henry fixed the settings finally after I have been lamenting this for the last 10 years.

Moving on.

I was pleasantly surprised at how expansive this section of the park was. A cute little walking trail that took you from one fairy tale house to the next.

This was me after a solid one minute of struggling to get on this stupid chair.

GOALS.

Some of the houses had characters waiting outside to give you HANDSTAMPS. We of course weren’t aware of this at the beginning and missed a few and I guess no one bothered to clue us in since we aren’t CHILDREN.

That, my friends, is discrimination.

This was the moment that Chooch realized that “crown” means “head” in this context.

“So…Jack literally broke…his HEAD?”

Nursery rhymes are so dark.

Chooch barely fit inside any of the houses.

I felt obligated to take this picture as Snow White told us the names of all her dwarves.

Lol.

Here’s the aforementioned Snow White after she LEFT HER POST and incoming children were screaming for her, lol.

Definitely not the best Humpty Dumpty.

“Where are all these kids getting suckers?” I asked for the 48th time, fixated on the promise of free candy.

(REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS BROOKS ORPIK’S NICKNAME WHEN HE WAS A PGH PENGUIN???)

“I don’t know,” Chooch mumbled, never taking his eyes off his phone because he’s back in that Geocaching life. “Over by the pirate ship I think.

So then this happened:

View this post on Instagram

Literally, Henry had to yell at him to do it because he was sick of me crying over the fact that I never got a Dum Dum and he just wanted, at that point, me to have a Dum Dum in my mouth to quiet me.

YAY.

This was the grand finale, I guess. Some castle thing.

Chooch was in line to pull the sword out of the stone, but parents kept encouraging their brats to cut in front of him which was insulting. This was the only time all day where I was getting angry at the people around me.

ME TOO! (If you look closely, you can see the Dum Dum jutting out of my mouth haha.)

Well, that’s it for Idlewild. Maybe one day I will have a grandkid to take here, but otherwise, I can’t imagine we will ever go back. (UNLESS THEY GET AN RMC FAMILY COASTER???)

Would you believe that I was born and raised in Pittsburgh but have never been to Idlewild Park until my FORTY-FIFTH YEAR OF LIFE?! I have no idea why my family never went here when my sibs and I were growing up – it’s only an hour away and it’s the sister park to Kennywood and apparently, at least this year, it has the distinction of being the “best children’s park in the US.” LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF THAT, THANKS.

A really fun fact that I would be remiss to mention is that I actually could have gone here in my early twenties, pre-Chooch, when Henry’s mom organized an Idlewild outing for the WHOLE FAMILY (Henry and his kids, and his sister and her family) but I was still the outlier, the homewrecker, etc. at that time so I was not invited and instead stayed home by myself, crying, getting drunk off of Manischevitz (classy), and taking depressing goth-centric photos of myself on my digital point-and-shoot cam because this was 2002 after all. I don’t think MySpace was around yet, but LiveJournal certainly was and I would bet everything in my Cure collection that I posted those pics on there in modern “lady on a fainting couch” fashion.

Anyway, this is where we chose to go on Labor Day because Henry put his foot down when I begged to go away for the weekend.

After Henry blew a gasket in the parking lot because as usual he chose the wrong lane to get into and the person in front of required an exorbitant level of assistance, like, was the parking booth attendant guy spoon-feeding him porridge too?! And then when it was finally our turn, the attendant held his hand out of the booth to stop us because some DILDO DAD drove through the parking entrance, PARKED, and then WALKED OVER TO THE BOOTH TO PAY. Bro, that is not how this works! So yeah, Henry was spitting speckles of hatred all over the windshield and instead of being on his side, this just made me angry because I am generally disgusted when Henry gets mad and starts complaining loudly about stupid things. So, that’s how our nice family day at a little kid amusement park started, lol.

First up (after Henry had to pee of course and I admired cutie squirrels) was Rollo Coaster which was nice and docile, a really great intro to the coaster world for young kids.  The ride op was like “I WANT TO GO TO THAT PARK -THEIR WILD MOUSE IS TALLER THAN OURS” as he was checking my seat belt and I had no idea what he was going on about until I remembered that I was wearing my Shivering Timbers shirt from Michigan’s Adventure.

(P.S. The aforementioned Wild Mouse was CLOSED FOR THE SEASON for refurb so this was the only credit available for Chooch on this visit UGH.)

Then it was #carouselfie time! Chooch was chagrinned because it was his turn to take it and this is one of his least favorite things in life but JUST WAIT UNTIL HE’S LIVING AWAY FROM MOMMY AND DADDY and then I bet he will start to appreciate these little, dorky traditions. RIGHT??

This was a huge step up from that dumpy carousel at Camden, that’s for sure.

This is definitely the one that will be framed and hung on the #carouselfie wall!

After this, we walked across a bridge to the little-little kid area.

We rode the train! There was DRAMA. When the train made it to one of the stations and stopped in order to let people off and new people get on, this man pictured below in the gray WV shirt tried to walk past the caboose. “Whoa, you can’t go back there!” the train attendant, also pictured below, said.

“I dropped my hat back there, I’m just going to go and grab it,” he said it, attempting to shoulder past the old man.

“That’s restricted area! I can’t let you go back there!” the old Idlewild guy reiterated, which made the WV Dad belligerent.

“I just need to grab a hat! YOU CAN SEE IT FROM HERE!” he shouted, jabbing an aggravated finger toward a plot of grass next to the train tracks.

This went on for quite some time while the train guy was trying to get everyone off and on the train. He kept saying he would get it for him, but to please be patient. Now WV Dad’s wife was turning around in her seat toward the middle of the train (what was the rush – they were staying on the train anyway!!) to see what was going on and WV Dad literally (LITERALLY!!) said loudly, “Sorry, I’m not ‘allowed’ to get the hat. I’m getting yelled at.”

To which the train guy snapped back in an exhausted, resigned tone, “I’m not yelling at you, I’m just saying that I can’t let you go back there. We have a procedure that needs to be followed.”

It was actually the epitome of second-hand embarrassment. The way this guy was acting SO PUT OUT over being told he had to FOLLOW THE RULES. Jesus Christ.

Ofc I have a video:

He “lost” his seat because people coming on the train took it and that was another crisis. The way he snatches the hat from the old guy at the end just really boiled my blood though. Get over yourself. THIS DIDN’T EVEN TAKE ANY TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY SINCE THEY WERE STAYING ON THE TRAIN ANYWAY!?!?!? Like, bro – we were all just sitting there waiting for the new passengers to board, this took zero seconds out of your time at the park. I hate people like this. Just follow the rules, please.

Otherwise, it was a very serene little train ride, with the old train guy behind us yelling things like, “GENTLEMAN IN THE GREEN PLEASE KEEP YOUR ARMS INSIDE THE CAR” and the gentleman in question was like, 7. And we saw some cutie squirrels chasing each other. I quite enjoyed my time on the train, hostile dad and all.

BUT I BET YOU THOUGHT THE TRAIN TANTRUM REFERENCED IN THE TITLE OF THIS POST RELATED TO ME!!

I will say that Idlewild is very magical for the eyeballs. I loved the feeling of being nestled in a forest. It was very rustic and a stark contrast to the concrete jungles that some amusement parks tend to be. This place really did feel fairy tale-ish BUT overall, I enjoyed the ambiance of Story Land in NH a bit more. First of all, it had better rides.

Chipmunks! There was even a chipmunk in the bathroom with me. I wish we had chipmunks in our yard!!

Departing super young kiddie land, back into regular kiddie land aka the main part of the park. Truly, this was a children’s park and we were the only people there without young’ns in tow.

Fuck the Idlewild Emporium though! They don’t sell magnets!

Why did I agree to go on this. These rides always make me sick!!

Chooch wasn’t amused that I took this shot. (And yes, if you were wondering, I did get wrecked on this ride. Henry was watching with the other parents and said that there were only two cars on  the whole ride that were spinning and ours was one of them. Natch.)

Then we decided to see what all the fuss about re: Confusion Hill, which our beloved DAFE (Darkride & Funhouse Enthusiasts) ranked in the top 5 of the country’s best dark attractions??? Or maybe it’s specifically dark walk-thrus?? I immediately had to send a picture of the sign out front to Christina, no context, and of course they knew immediately why I sent it and were t-r-i-g-g-e-r-e-d.

“Thangs.”

They hate the word “thangs.” LOL.

Yeah, this was fine, I guess. The two Confusion Hill actors / guides were highly energized and entertaining so I will give it that much, but this is just your standard gravity hill type roadside attraction where OMG WHY IS THE WATER UPHILL?? etc. The guy actor tried really hard to get Chooch to sit on a crooked chair mounted to the wall after all the other kids left and I know he wanted to say yes but was trying to act like he was too cool for that silly gravity optical illusion sissy shit.

I required ice cream after this. Then the dad in front of me ordered a peanut butter milkshake and I was like OR DO I WANT THAT INSTEAD but it put my brain into overload (I’m fragile these days, leave me alone) so when it was my turn to order, I just got a twist cone. :(

And then had regertz. :(

Chooch is too old for babytime ice cream cones!!! He opted for A PIECE OF GUM instead. This is the COLLEGE WAY.

Henry ruined this picture.

Then we sat on a wall and ate our ice cream while Chooch complained about being bored because he didn’t have ice cream to keep him busy. I appreciated the colors of the sprinkles here at Idlewild. Sometimes sprinkles just aren’t pretty enough! But these were nice and bold and the perfect complement to a beautiful end-of-summer day. Man, I know this was one of the worst summers I’ve ever had, personally, but it still makes me sad to see it come to an end and I find myself doing that frantic scrambling that I’m always wont to do come September.

It’s just weird not taking that “first day of school” picture of Chooch on the front porch, but I guess I can take one before we leave here on Friday to drop him off in Philly.

(FML. This is really starting to hit me hard, lol.)

Then we went on the lamest log flume ever. I’m sorry, but Idlewild’s not got SHIT on Story Land in the ride department. The only thing that they do better (spoiler alert) is their Storybook Forest, which we will get to in the next post.

Oh well, tata for now.

Reporting from the other side of a weekend that was actually OK and stable. Did I cry every day? You bet, but it wasn’t uncontrollable and soul-crushing. And it was in tandem with Henry sitting next to me and patiently listening to me parse through Drew’s passing for the 87000th time and it felt calming almost? It’s just that I need to talk about it and if I don’t, the sadness and anguish comes bursting out of me like I’m Mount St. Erin.

And you know what else helped? Making progress on the Drew memorial portrait. I am hoping it will be ready to frame and hang this week, across from Marcy. (OK, the tears are spilling again but it’s OK! It’s OK. I’m OK. It’s going to be OK.)

Things to remember:

• On Saturday, Henry and Chooch went to some bakery in Wilkinsburg because Henry saw that they had orange cardamon cinnamon rolls and somehow we have become weekend cinnybun thoosies I guess, so off they went to procure the goods. They returned with a surplus though – some blondie that Chooch didn’t like but I thought was pretty good if not a bit too sweet; an apple chai muffin which was SO POTENT that it tasted like how the old Wicks & Sticks candle shop at Century III Mall smelled, I did not like it at all; a pumpkin hand pie thing which I also did not like AT ALL because of the same level of “this should be a candle, not edible” spices; a lemon cookie that was bomb; an Earl gray cupcake WHICH WAS SO GOOD but very small, and even SMALLER since Henry the oaf took half of it; and the aforementioned cinnamon roll which I really enjoyed. So, a 50/50 experience for sure.
• Keeping with that theme, Chooch came home yesterday with a pumpkin spice bottled Frappucino and was like THIS TASTES LIKE HOW JOANN FABRIC SMELLS and against my better judgment, I took a little baby sip and yep. The autumn wreath material aisle at Joann, specifically. DEEEE-sgusting.

• Yesterday, I grabbed the purse that Debby made me for Xmas last year without realizing at first that it matched my OOTD perfectly (PURRRRFECTLY??). I was just lamenting over the impending end of summer even though this summer was historically  – just a reminder – one of the worst I’ve ever had, but it still felt great to wear jeans and a light sweater yesterday!
  • This was the only time I left the house all weekend (aside from going for walks and to play tennis), and it was because I was meeting Pam at Potomac Station for Sunday afternoon coffee (although, I had horchata with a shot of espresso, FYI). It was a nice reason to get me out of the house, and we ended up having a fun chat with a guy sitting near us who was working on one of those Woobles crochet projects. HE LOOKED SO FAMILIAR TO ME. (The guy, not the creature he was crocheting.) I dunno where I would have seen him though and I didn’t want to blurt out WHERE DO YOU WORK, BECAUSE YOU LOOK FAMILIAR like the dryest pick-up line ever.

• SugarSpell Beetlejuice flava-flavs! The Lydia one is black sesame….one of my fave eastern flavors!

• Penelope hasn’t jumped on the table in months yet here she was over the weekend and we were wondering if it was because the picture of Drew was laying there. :(
• Happy things: we got some beer from Hitchhiker specifically the pumpkin thing they have currently and I got accidentally drunk Friday night! It was a fun start to the weekend – stay-at-home alcoholism. :|
• We watched a lot of Seventeen content and I think Henry finally knows all 13 members?! Also, Seventeen had headlined Lollapalooza Berlin on Sunday and it was live-streamed on their YouTube channel so we watched that together and it made me really content but also a little sad because Jun wasn’t there (he’s doing China promotions) and this was Jeonghan’s last international performance before military enlistment so….bittersweet. I hate getting so attached.

• I bought a bunch of acrylic frames (from Temu, I deserve any clowning you throw at me) and got three of them used up so far, I love the look! I think I will eventually have a bunch of them hung in the attic, who knows.

Don’t mind how filthy the table runner is – I need to swap it out with another here soon, but I like that the frames are boxy so that I can also put stuff on them like a little shelf – I love that the wedding ducks from Sandy fit on this one of our wedding license photobooth fun time!

I had to keep this bill from Sweden because it features the author of Pippi Longstocking, and now I have the perfect way to display it because you can see the back of the bill in this frame too!

<3<3<3 I bought this at the DDP gift shop, sigh.

Well, I guess that’s really all that happened over the weekend that’s noteworthy, aside from the 47875278 walks I went on. I hope that the clouds continue to part for me, preferably at a faster pace, haha. Ha. Ugh.

I scheduled last Wednesday off a work last week in an effort to siphon as much remaining quality time with Chooch-Soon-To-Be-At-College as possible. I had a bigtime bee in my bonnet about going to Cedar Point and he was a big walking UGH about this because “it’s so far away” (<  3 hours, get over it) but he eventually acquiesced because deep down, he loves mommy.

We only spent a half day there and it was A REALLY GOOD DAY (read: NOT CROWDED) but it was also pretty uneventful. So, this should be a quick recap.

Chooch and I split driving responsibilities on the way there. I had the first shift and he watched a movie on his laptop (Silence of the Lambs, which I can’t believe he had never seen before, I failed him as a horror parent) and I listened to Seventeen with full, unabashed abandon. It was a really nice and peaceful drive, honestly. (Except for when we switched driving responsibilities and I was able to look at my phone and see that Taeil had been removed from NCT because of a FUCKING SEX CRIME he’s currently being investigated for so that was fucked.)

When we arrived, the lot was barely crowded but HOO BOY for only allegedly being 82 degrees that day, it felt like 100. The sweat practically began dripping down my back almost immediately while walking through the lot. The one thing about Cedar Point is that there is really not much shade to be had.

We had a nice start to the day on Millie, maybe even one of the best rides I’ve had on that, but then we got stuck on the brake run while the ride attendants cleaned up puke from the exit platform and the empty train that was now chilling in the station. I wonder, in hindsight, if it was the broad who I saw while waiting in the station who was drinking a beer. I mean, it was nearly noon at that point so I guess no judgment but SHIT, it was so hot and I can’t imagine drinking a beer and immediately getting on a giga coaster, or any ride, on ANY type of day really. I rarely drink at amusement parks in general, honestly, but you do you I guess.

After this, we speed-walked to Maverick, which had a 45 minute posted – this would actually be pretty short on a regular day at CP but I was kind of hoping for something shorter on this random Wednesday during the last full operating week of the season, but whatever.

Well, it actually ended up being only 20 minutes!! That line flew, we never stopped moving, and 100% it was because of the lack of the Fastlane holders. That (and the fact that Maverick is notorious for breaking down frequently) is a huge part of the reason why this line is always so fucking long on a regular day. I was giving Henry updates the whole time, like, “We’re almost to the steps and it’s been less than 20 minutes!” and I hope he was sad that he didn’t have the balls to call off work. Little bitch.

Anyway, I am going to be a hater and just put this out there – I don’t really care much for Maverick. Maybe it’s because there is so much frustration that comes with it on every trip we take out there (most times we don’t even get to ride it because I don’t have the stamina to wait that long) but it honestly just hurts my head.

After this, we tried to ride SteVe but the Entrance Warden busted me trying to sneak in my fanny pack wrapped and folder under my arm and said I had to put it in a paid locker, which pissed me off because it fits in the free lockers inside the ride line and usually Henry will stick it in his cargo shorts pocket. I refused to pay for a locker, so we passed on SteVe and then I sent Henry a torrent of texts blaming this blight on him. “Tell Chooch to put it in his pocket!” he texted back, but Chooch was wearing these, I don’t know what they were, cotton leisure shorts with shallow pockets.

We decided to move on and try it again later, so we went on Gemini and sat behind Gemini’s Biggest Fan who was doing all kinds of creepy Jesus posturing and poses throughout the whole ride and I sort of felt proselytized by proxy into his branch of coaster crazies. The name he gave me was Jojo Roll, in case you need to put together a search and rescue mission one day.

After this, I was like, “CHOOCH, CAN WE PLEASE EAT LUNCH BEFORE I DIE” and he was like, ‘I’M NOT HUNGRY BUT FINE.” I was running on the fumes of a breakfast protein drink and needed solids, bigly.

But then on our way to food, we saw that the line for Wild Mouse was nearly a station wait?! IT HAS NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS FOR US! We always wait at least 45 minutes for this bitch! So, lunch had to wait.

This Wild Mouse is actually so much fun. My only gripe is that it really feels shorter than most coasters of this type!? And that even though by the time it was our turn, there were only around 8 other people in line but they still sat us with 2 other people.

I kept checking the weather app on my phone because it felt so much hotter than 81/82 degrees, honest to god.

But we got a reprieve inside the….fuck, I always forget the name of that big pavilion that replaced our beloved Spaghetti Noodle (née Wicked Twister). It’s annoying to me that instead of putting a good quality vegan/vegetarian protein option on the menu, CP bitches out by having a “Sides” meal where you can pick three sides instead of a protein FOR THE SAME PRICE THOUGH. I mean, that doesn’t seem like a great deal to me but it’s either this or go get pizza from some other place for the same price.

However, I will say that the sides are actually pretty good. That cucumber salad was DELICIOUS.

Chooch got strawberries instead of the cucumbers.

I was extremely full after eating all of this so I guess it is a pretty good deal after all.

Afterward, we immediately rode the Wild Mouse again lol. And then the atomic scrambler for our first time!?

I can’t stress how much I love the boardwalk area. They place the BEST music here. The scrambler was playing stuff that I have on my UltraLounge CDs!!

The ride op was kind of weird though. Chooch and I had to wait for the current cycle to finish – there was only one car occupied with three little girls, and after the ride ended, the ride op started yelling instructions to them on how to unlock the seat. The girl sitting next to the actual lock thing was the youngest out of all of them – maybe 6?! And she could NOT figure out what he was telling her, so then her dad was also yelling directions at her and she was getting frustrated, and then the girl furthest away had to try to lean across the other two to unlock it and the whole time, Chooch and I were saying out loud, “Why doesn’t the guy just walk over there AND DO IT FOR THEM???”

Anyway, she was crying by the time they got off the ride and even though it is in my nature to always take the side opposite a child in distress, I was actually on her team this time. That was kind of fucked up. And then I was so nervous about this lock situation that I made Chooch sit on that side so that he could deal with it.

AND WHEN THE RIDE ENDED, HE HAD ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE SIDE LOCK AND I WAS LIKE, “CHOOCH, DON’T MAKE HIM YELL AT US!”

To be clear, the ride op wasn’t actually yelling out of meanness or anger – he was just yelling to be heard and was a pretty chill young guy but also apparently lazy if he couldn’t just walk around and unleash riders himself?!

End of season apathy I guess.

Magnum time!!! I think the first row of the last car is my absolute favorite.

Just me trying to make memories, etc!

Then we had SteVe redemption!! Chooch stuffed my fanny pack in his pocket and we managed to slide right past the guy manning the entrance – the militant woman wasn’t there this time and the guy wasn’t even looking at us so it was super easy. IT WAS THE SHORTEST LINE I HAVE EVER BEEN IN FOR STEVE!! We breezed past the Fastlane attendant and made it all the way to ALMOST where the line splits for lockers / non-lockers. IYKYK.

And as expected, my fanny pack fit in the locker with no issue, rolled up into a little ball. I was reading about this controversy afterward on Reddit and most people seem to subscribe to my theory that this is just another CP cash-grab, an excuse for making people pay for lockers even though free ones are available in the line when they know damn well that small waist bags fit in there. But then I also saw that the “real reason” provided by CP staff is that “straps of waist bags can slip down into the locker and jam it”?? My straps aren’t even hanging off the thing because I unclipped it and wrap the straps all the way around the bag. There is nothing dangling off.

Anyway, our first ride was in the backrow and it was amazing. Every time I ride SteVe, I’m like, “OK, forget what I said, this is still my #1.”

We cheated the system and left our stuff in the free lockers afterward and immediately ran back in line because it was still non-existent. HOWEVER. WE FUCKED UP. It is a known fact amongst SteVe experts that the line for locker users has historically been shorter than the line for people who don’t need the lockers. (The line splits into two at the “need a locker?” checkpoint – if you don’t need one, you keep going to the right. If you do need one, there is a different line on the left that you can get back into after you’re done in the locker area. This line was the old Fastlane line and it is SHORTER IN LENGTH than the other line so it makes sense that you’d be waiting less!!)

Since this time we didn’t have anything on us that required a locker, we were relegated to the right-side lane, but then I heard the people behind us – who had done the same thing as us by getting off the ride and running right back into line – ask the line attendant if they could get into the left line even though they didn’t a locker because it’s faster. The line guy just shrugged and said, “I don’t know if it’s faster, but sure go ahead.”

THEY GOT ON THE RIDE SO MUCH FASTER THAN US! I swear to god, that right line moves like molasses!! So even though it was still a shorter wait than we would usually have for SteVe, it was so frustrating to see people who were behind us in line going to get a locker, and then passing us by in the left line.

Then a new ride attendant was manning the station – a woman this time – and gave us the biggest, nastiest look of resigned disgust when we asked if we could wait for the front. She let us, but not without making us feel like the scum of the earth. Look, on a crowded day, we wouldn’t have asked BUT the queue for the front car is purposely built out to account for larger lines?! And there were only two couples waiting in that line, anyway, but go off, lady.

But yeah, back to back rides on SteVe in less than 45 minutes? Unheard of. I was so happy.

We rode Magnum again, this time all the way in the back and that was a mistake, lol. My thighs were immediately bruised. I do love that fucking ride though and the station theme music makes me feel like I could roller skate up a hill.

View this post on Instagram

Chooch wanted to leave after this but then I saw that Raptor had a zero minute wait and gave him pleading eyes, so he said, “OMG FINE” like I’m the kid in this sitch. I had to send this picture to Henry because HOLY SHIT THERE IS NO ONE IN THE SWITCHBACKS? We literally WALKED ON, you guys. Got up to the station and walked right onto the back row. Glorious.

After this, we had a beautiful ride on Gatekeeper after a station wait and I finally agreed that we could leave. Sigh. It was around 5, but I would have happily stayed until the park closed at 8 because I truly wasn’t ready to leave yet. But Chooch was like, “We did what we came to do and now it’s time to go home.” Wow OK dad.

View this post on Instagram

I thought it was fitting that Summer Breeze was playing in my favorite boardwalk area at the end of our day at Cedar Point. Sometimes I hate Cedar Point, but it was so magical on this day.

On our way home, we stopped at a nearby Biggby for some coffee and that was a weird experience watching a gaggle of young teen girls work chaotically on too many orders at once and we thought for sure ours were going to be fucked but they were both delicious and it made me sad that we don’t have any of these joints closer to home because I would go there weekly.

TO CONCLUDE: It was a really nice day spent with my kid who is leaving for college in less than a week at the time of this posting. I am so glad that I was able to take some time off work here and there to make these last minute summer memories with him. GOTTA GO CRY IN A DARK ROOM NOW, FEEL FREE TO CRY ALONG WITH ME, ARGENTINA.