But first! When Henry was googling to see if the unit next to us was listed anywhere yet, he noticed that Google street view was updated, so now if you look at our street, you can see me coming up from the backyard with my Halloween pail of peanuts, post-squirrel feeding. I’m marginally embarrassed but also kind of like, “Aw, it’s me in my purest form.” Please also note HNC’s two molester vans in the back. Those are just 2 of the SIX vehicles that he and his wife own between themselves. Two of them don’t even run. We’re so blessed to live next to them.

Let’s start last weekend with Thursday night. I had dinner at Fig & Ash with Megan, Marlene, Debby and Jill. Overall, I really liked the vibe of the place but the menu was deceiving. They had two meatfree items in the “shareables” section, which to me made it sound like it was going to be served family style, large portions? So instead of getting the mushroom risotto like I had wanted, I got two things from the Starter section: the famous heirloom carrots and butternut squash soup.

Both were delicious, but the soup was basically like someone took a ladle and quickly left a soup-streak at the bottom of a shallow bowl. I mean, I’d be hard-pressed to actually consider it “soup” and charge, I can’t remember – maybe $15 – for it? REALLY GOOD, don’t get me wrong, but unbelievably unsatisfying. Everyone else was still only about halfway done with their meals and I was just sitting there twiddling my thumbs and drinking water. Megan ordered something from the SHAREABLE section and it was a normal American serving! I was DUPED.

I was still feeling hungry, which is the worst because I KNEW I was going to cave and get dessert.

I got the pumpkin panna cotta. It too was unsatisfying and also, unlike my other food, just not good.

I would go back and 100% get the CARROTS TO SHARE and maybe the BEETS and also something from THE SHAREABLE section to NOT share (there were NO veg options in the entree section, just a heads up to my meatless brethren).

Seriously, someone please help this restaurant with their menu. At least change the wording.

But at least the company was top notch. No complaints there.

The next day, I was off work and that was boring but fine. But that night things got better because I went with Janna and Chooch to a new-to-us haunt in West Alexander called Scaregrounds or something. Janna drove us there and that was like the amuse bouche, if you will, to a night of terror. :)

Anyway, here are some pictures from it:

I’ve been using this photo app called Lapse after strong-arming Chooch into sending me an invite link. Here’s my…lapse?….of me waiting for Janna to pick us up. I love that shirt and forgot that I owned it!

I just want to note that kids 18 & under are only $12? In what land?? West Alexander land I guess!

Ew my teeth look so wet here for some reason!?

EW EW EW I was staring at whatever that is in Chooch’s hand for a solid minute trying to figure out, in horror, what it was, but it’s just his Kirby airpod case.

Saturday was a bust. The weather was AWFUL. Non-stop rain pretty much all day along. I had no desire to go out that night so we stayed in and started The Fall of the House of Usher.

Sunday was interesting. There was activity next door and I saw an older woman moving in some small items so I ballet-leapt out of the front door and, huffing from the exertion and anxiety of NEW NEIGHBOR ALERT, I wheezed, “Hiareyoumynewneighbor??”

She said that NO she is NOT but that she is from the AGENCY that is moving my neighbor in?! My mind started spinning. WTF could this mean?? An agency?? This has never happened before. Usually our asshole landlord just rents it to the most untrustworthy person off the street. So now he was working with an AGENCY?

“Your new neighbor is a girl from Afghanistan, and she doesn’t speak English. I’m glad you came out to meet me and you are so friendly, because she is going to need your help!”

That was all it took. A mission! An assignment! For me! I had tunnel-vision for the rest of Sunday and Monday until they (it’s a single-mom family!!!) moved in on Tuesday. I will write separately about this, as much as I can share within reason, but just know that I am obsessed with this family and making them feel at home and can literally not focus on anything else right now. Just obsessed. I have already spent more time with them in just a handful of days that I have spent with ANY SINGLE NEIGHBOR on this street since 1999. OK, more on that later. Woo boy.

Another Lapse-thing from our drive to SCARY HARRY’S on Sunday. It’s out in Homer City, whatever that means.

Scary Harry’s has different lines that you can get into based on the # of your group. So there’s 1-2, 3-4, and 5-6. The ticket person told us to get into the smallest line, which would have been the 5-6, even though there was no one in that line, and we only had 3 people!? But of course, the 3-4 line was the longest. So Chooch was like, “We are never getting out of here” and was being so whiny. I was panicking because I knew any minute now the ticket person was going to let the next chunk of people through (we were the last ones in the other group he let through) so my mind was spinning.

I didn’t want to go into the 5-6 line because it was obvious we didn’t have that many people and it would look like we were cutting!?! So I got SAVVY and said to the trio in front of us, “Hey, you guys wanna pretend like we’re together and go to that line over there?”

The one lady was like, “We….could do that.” SO WE DID. LIKE TOTAL HAUNTED TRAIL GANGSTAS. But then it was so obvious that we weren’t together and the lady at the front of us who is in charge of putting together groups from the three lines was side-eying us so I quickly turned around and covertly whispered, “I’m Erin BTW” and introductions were made lol. I think it was a mom, her teenage son, and his gf?

But yeah, you’re welcome guys. We got to in as a group after about 10 more minutes of waiting, as opposed to probably 30 minutes if we had stayed where we were. AND REALLY, TAHT TICKET PERSON TOLD US TO DO THIS, SO WERE WE REALLY BEING DECEPTIVE?!?! You know I don’t condone line-jumping, and if that guy hadn’t said to do that, I would have just continued to stand in the middle, longest line and deal with it.

Apparently, this was originally Chooch’s idea and he was mad that he didn’t get credit? I barely remember him suggesting this but also, those two NEVER TALK TO PEOPLE IN LINE and if I hadn’t opened my mouth as our group’s spokesperson, we’d probably still be standing in that line, so STFU.

Well, I think that is all I want to say, bye!

Airtime Thrills posted his Kolmarden video and I am happy to share that here tonight because I just came home from Kennywood and therefore am too tired to post my own content.

I remember LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY (and you might too if you read my blog yesterday lol) leaving Kolmarden the second day and realizing I was behind Airtime Thrills as he was vlogging and trying desperately to duck. At the end of his video, you can see me taking this picture:

Wow! Really cool, Erin.

We have reached a critical point. This is the beginning of the LAST DAY with Coaster Crew. THE LAST DAY. Sunday, August 13th. I just realized that I hadn’t been putting the dates in most of these recaps, LOL, oh well. I’m sure Future Me will figure it out.

I just glanced at my not-always trusty vacation journal and realized that I forgot to note in the Skara post that when we were standing around, Robert asked me, “Are you guys all from the same place?”

Odd question, I thought. But I said, “Yes.”

“OK I was just wondering because you’re always dressed in warm clothes and shivering, but they’re always dressed in shorts and t-shirts, ready for warm weather.”

An accurate assessment, Robert.

At breakfast on this morning, Pam sat with us. Henry and Chooch left together to go get our luggage but I stayed to chat with Pam. I flat out asked her if she liked [someone in our group] and she said YES but that the distance would be a problem :( She was also telling me, “Oh don’t you start!” because I was already moping about it being our last day with the group.

UGH, why am I so sensitive??

Apparently, this was also the day that I realized I had been incorrectly referring to Jimmy as “Jerry” in my journal the whole time.

Before we headed back to Kolmarden for morning ERT, we got to enjoy a Swedish car show across from the hotel! Here is the post I wrote about it while still on vaca, IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:

Swedish Car Show

Kolmarden was not yet opened to the public when we arrived, but we were allowed to enter through the resort entrance, which was STILL a hike but not as long of a walk to Wildfire. It was still a very steep grade though. Eric and Marie are both….Marines? Army? I can’t remember which, but it was cute because Eric was like “LET’S GO” and they started an Army chanting thing while running up the hill. Chooch and some of the other younger guys were like, “We will also run” and they were the ones who made it all the way without losing steam, haha.

I didn’t run and I’m glad because otherwise I might have missed this amazing snail-buddy chilling on the side of the path!

After some morning ERT, we did the famous cable car ride through the zoo, which provided some amazing aerial views of my Swedish bae, Wildfire. I REALLY had a great time riding this!

There aren’t many coasters out there that can beat this setting. This is definitely part of an elite club in that respect.

I have no idea why I took this? Was it in error? Oh well, I’m including it.

Chooch still needed the kiddie coaster over in the legit kiddie land that is just chilling in the middle of the zoo like all zoos have a kiddie land with actual rides.

(WHY DON’T ALL ZOOS HAVE THIS? LET’S GOOOO PGH ZOO. GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS.)

On some tea-cup thing for no reason.

This part was so exciting because Robert and Dawn somehow knew that Chooch was dying to see the capybaras and they came over to urgently tell him that one of them was out!

(Honestly, everyone on the trip knew Chooch. People were asking him, “Riley, what are your parent’s names?” like 6 days in.

Chooch and Sam on Wildfire again. Chooch was actually hoping to get to ride with Mark because they never rode anything together the entire time, but he and Sam were paired together constantly by the coaster universe, lol.

Oh, I’m going to miss it here.

Also, Brett asked Chooch to take a picture of him, Mark and several others under the sign but it was hilarious because he was being a hyper-director over it. “Now do it in landscape. Take one in portrait. OK, now…” literally he asked Chooch to take like 10 different shots it felt like, and it was almost like Chooch was being punked but he was for real, lol. He had Chooch use his own phone and airdrop the shots to him, so Chooch was like, “Cool, now I have these on my phone for no reason.”

Heading out for Gronalund! I walked DIRECTLY behind Chris from Airtime Thrills while he was vlogging so I hope I’m not in the background.

Pretty Kolmarden flowers to end a beautiful split-day here.  I’m so glad we had these extra hours to get to enjoy the zoo portion of Kolmarden. It was so wonderful there.

Let’s end this with a collection of videos I took from that morning!

Heyyyyyy you guyyyysssssss! We’ve reached the part of the trip where I got to practically pee my pants, act like a goddamn corn-shuckin’ sex-through-holes-in-a-sheet-havin’ Amish bitch on motherfucking Rumspringa, boiiiii. Hold while I wrench the bonnet off my dumb god-fearin’ head because this Dutch slut is about to get fucked by the ONLY RMC coaster on this trip: WILDFIRE.

GODDAMN SHIT-SUCKING WILDFIRE.

(Sorry, the Lost Boys quotes come out of me at weird, irreverent times.)

(I’ve had two sips of wine so far and I am like HOLLA LET’S GO WHERE MY PARTY PEOPLE AT like I just stepped out of a Goodwill copy of Girls Gone Wild.)

(I actually saw an old GGW videotape on a road near my house a few mths ago. Someone ripped all the tape out of it and left it and the box it came in strewn along a sidewalk. It was there for weeks. The first time I walked past, I only just glanced at the box and thought it was porn at first because: Brookline.)

And I wonder why I’m still sloughing through vacation recaps!! FOCUS.

OK, what’s with the (ish) in this blog post title, you might (not) be asking? Well, Kolmarden is actually this enormous zoo in Sweden that JUST HAPPENS to house one of the world’s best roller coasters, and arguably the coaster with the best view, Wildfire. You know one of my bucket list items is to ride every RMC in the world. I guess I would have imagined that I would conquer the ones in Texas and California first, yet here I am, about to cross the only RMC in Scandinavia off of my list.

Wildfire. Shit son are you even serious right now. I was SQUEALING.

After the disappointment earlier at Skara Sommarland, the whole group was looking forward to some positive vibes.

I love this picture! Should I print and frame it? Do I have any wall vacancy??

OMG the thing about Kolmarden is that it is massive and you have to walk up a fairly steep hill straight away. One of the girls that hated me had to sit down halfway up because she was so winded. Thank god I have been training for this unknowingly for the last years! Professional walker up in this zizzoo.

See the entrance down there on the lower lefthand side? Now see the sign for Wildfire all the way up there in the upper right? Lol. Pray for us.

(JK I WAS FINE. PRAY FOR OTHERS.)

THOOSIES ON THE LOOSIES.

!!!!! I-FUCKING-CONIC. HOLY SHIT.

A 10 minute wait. For an RMC.

Do these non-thoosie local zoo-goers even know how lucky they are to have this incredible coaster in their ZOO??

LOL that red thing on the righthand side of the photo is the “clown nose” on my phone case. Sometimes it gets in the way when I do .5x pictures.

WILDFIRE STATS.

(Fun fact: I have spelled Wildfire incorrectly every single time so far because we are now up to 4 SIPS OF WINE.)

OK real talk: this is not my favorite RMC. BUT, it was still a terrific ride! I do have to say that my favorite part was the view from the turnaround after the lift hill.

HERE watch this POV!! I’ll watch it with you:

MY EVERLOVING LORD. I am so thankful that Rocky Mountain Construction exists. Did you see that beautiful view at the top?? That’s what I BELIEVE TO BE the Bråviken Bay, part of the Baltic Sea.

We got to split into groups and do a tour of the maintenance shed, which involved us CROSSING THE TRACK while the coaster was running. The maintenance supervisor was like, “You guys are enthusiasts so I know I don’t have to go over safety rules which you” and I was like, “Mm, that’s because you haven’t met me, but OK.”

I was so embarrassed/annoyed at Henry because we were getting off the coaster when he noticed that a small group of us were being taken down to the infield for the tour and he was like “LET’S GO” because two other people from our group who had just gotten off the coaster also tagged along, but WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. Tim was separating everyone into small groups at the exit after they were getting off the ride, and we BROKE THE FUCKING RULES and went rogue EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS. I felt like such an asshole.

HENRY IS NEVER RIGHT. I knew it was wrong to follow his lead!!! If this truly was Rumspringa and I was following some creepy bearded American man into a restricted coaster area, you know I’d be waking up in row 4 of the spare train in the maintenance shed, missing half of my organs and hair slick with track grease.

Dude.

I got to get a shot of PAM AND KEVIN riding together, from the restricted area of the brake run!! That non-Coaster Crew broad is looking at us like, “WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE MILLING ABOUT IN RESTRICTED AREAS, SHOULDN’T A SIREN BE SOUNDING.”

In line for ride # who knows at this point! Henry is…wow, why are you here, Henry? Do you even like coasters?

Getting credit #2 (there were 3 in total!).

This one was taken by Larry and sent to Chooch, everyone’s favorite Oh Honestly. That’s Jean and Arnold in front of us! <3

Dude, vegan gyro for dinner at the zoo! We sat with Pam! TMI but I was feeling REALLY SICK after this, but I think it was mostly from the McDonald’s. The last hour or so was V.UNCOMFY for me. LOTS OF BATHROOM BREAKS IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

ERT after the zoo closed! Here’s Chooch riding with his buddy Sam!

Ew Henry.

The one bad thing about Wildfire is that the ops were like NO, YOU MUST SIT WHERE YOU ARE ASSIGNED even if there was literally no one else waiting. It was whatever. At least during ERT we got to do whatever we wanted. Oh!! Tim got to dispatch one of the trains during ERT too!!! I wish I had a video but it was after I claimed defeat because my stomach hurt so bad that I needed to sit down, doubled-over, on a large rock.

Afterward, we had a very long walk back to the bus.

The bus was parked next to a PICKLEBALL COURT, BOOOOO.

Then we drove to our hotel for the night in nearby Norrkoping, which I blogged about in real time.

And here’s a video which includes scenes from the drive to Kolmarden featuring A WASP INCIDENT where Brent was like I AM ALLERGIC AND WILL DIE and Lucas was like I HAVE TRAINED ALL MY LIFE FOR THIS, HOLD ON SIR while Henry aggressively shoves food in his mouth like he’s an ACTUAL Viking (have I mentioned how EMBARRASSING he is?) and I accidentally show you a view of Up My Nose. Then we have Wildfire stuff, and Norrkoping footage!

These kids have been so clingy lately! Especially Drew, my lemming. I’m not complaining!

I’m writing this from bed, with Drew laying on my legs. She was waiting for me to finish reading downstairs and then nearly did somersaults up the steps next to me when I came up to go to bed.

That’s all! That’s the update. Just a nice little kitty cat palate cleanser since all I have been doing is spraying this site with (probably at this point) misremembered vacation memories.

잘 자!

Ugh I have been lowkey dreading this recap because it was truly the only disappointment of the whole trip. Skara Sommarland was pretty out of the way from our next destination – the amazing Swedish zoo, Kolmarden. But it was worth the detour because it has this one crazy S&S coaster that is OOAK and therefore a rare credit. There were two other coasters there so 3 credits in total were to be had.

But since it was out of the way, we had to forego that good Curiosa breakfast in favor of a 6:30am bus call and bagged breakfasts.

I felt like a heel because there was this whole discussion with Tim the day before about how he was going to handle my breakfast – he asked if I could eat an egg sandwich and I was like yes for sure, I’m just a plain ol’ vegetarian but then reminded him that Chooch is one and he was surprised because I guess this whole time he thought it was just me, hi I’m the problem, it’s me.

(Will be whipping myself later for quoting T.Swift.)

Anyway, Tim was like, “I DID NOT KNOW THAT, I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” and then said later that we apparently would have specially-marked bags, right? Well, the next morning, my bleary eyes saw two carts of bags: one cart was unmarked, the other cart had bags that said LACTO.

I grabbed one of those but then panicked and thought maybe it was for someone who was LACTOSE INTOLERANT but then I saw someone in front of me with the same bag (we had a new bus on this day and the seats in front of me were a cluster of 4 around a table so now I had two people semi-facing me) and I panicked even more so I gave Henry the bag back and told him to go back and return it because it must be WRONG but he came back and said there were no other specially marked bags.

THEN someone in front of me AND behind me complained that their sandwiches didn’t have MEAT on it so I guiltily said, “Um, maybe you have mine, because I’m a vegetarian?” but it turned out that NONE OF THE SANDWICHES had meat on it so people were really annoyed about that and I lowkey worried that this due to a miscommunication, like maybe Tim was all, “Hey-yo Curiosa friends, two of these sandwiches need to be meat-free” and they forgot how many he said so they defaulted to all sandwiches being vegetarian??

I don’t know, if Chooch was reading this he would say, “It’s not that deep.”

There was also orange juice and yogurt in the bags, in case you were wondering.

Anyway, now that we had a new bus, Marie and Eric didn’t want to sit at the table facing people so they moved to the other side of the bus and sat in front of Chooch. (Justin’s) Kevin sat in front of me and Jimmy from GP Coasters sat next to him, and then Lucas and whoever his friend was who might be the only person whose name I never learned, now that I think about it, sat on the other side of the table facing my direction.

This was all very irrelevant and probably a whole ass fucking snooze for you to read, my deepest apologies.

30 minutes before we arrived at Skara, Tim received an email from them saying that their MAIN ATTRACTION was down and they were waiting for a part to come in from another park. When he made this announcement, the mood dipped pretty low. We still had to go, it was paid for, we drove so far out of the way and it was, I guess, too early for us to go to Kolmarden. So, we had to make the best of it.

They even opened the park early just for us. The original plan was to have ERT on Tranan grab the other 2 creds, and GTFO before GP entered the park.

But then we got inside…

and learned….

….that only the spinning wild mouse was running.

It was soooo rickety. I rode with CoasterKev and asked him, “Do these normally shake this much?” and he went, “Nope! Not usually.” Cool cool!

THIS FUCKING THING WASN’T EVEN RUNNING!!

The only concession the park staff could make for us was to get some other dumb flat ride to run for us, where, as luck would have it, we were “transported to the swampy areas of the United States.” Henry actually rode this with me because everyone was riding it so he wanted to fit in, I guess. If this actually was the United States, he would have been sitting on a bench, holding my purse, and chuckling at IG reels.

Oh yeah and at one point, they were testing Tranan so everyone was screaming, but it was all for nought. It never ended up running for us. The part probably arrived right after we left, too! We probably passed it on the road!

lolol

Then we departed for McDonald’s! BUT FIRST, there was drama because Kevin was missing!! I remembered seeing him come onto the bus and he appeared to have taken his stuff and left, but I didn’t think anything of it. So Tim was doing a silent head count of the upper level everyone around us noticed Kevin’s empty seat and pointed it out to Tim who was like WHERE IS KEVIN? KEVIN ANSWER ME and Kevin wasn’t answering. But then Tim called him on the phone and confirmed that he had moved downstairs so Tim signaled for the driver to PULL OUT BABY.

But Chooch was like, “THERE ARE THREE KEVINS, WHAT IF TIM CALLED THE WRONG ONE AND NOW KEVIN IS LIVING IN RURAL SWEDEN??”

Also what if: I made a WATTPAD story about the Coaster Crew Norden group?!

McDonald’s was fine except that I felt really rushed and didn’t know what was going on and then Henry fucked up and didn’t get a receipt so we didn’t know what number we were. It’s always something.

But at least McDonald’s has a veg menu. If this was a US trip, Chooch and I would be eating fries I guess.

LOL as I’m writing this, one of the Coaster Crew members posted this on his Instagram story and it is so relatable:

OK, I’ll end here and the next post, we’ll pick up with Kolmarden day 1!

OK man, let’s wrap up Liseberg so we can move on to the next before my old lady brain completely stops spitting out the facts.

After our lovely day carousing around Gothenburg, we went back to the hotel for relaxing time (see: Henry immediately took a nap while Chooch and I went gallivanting around the hotel) and then returned to Liseberg around 6:30 for dinner and to get some more rides in before ERT on Balder started at 11PM.

We had originally planned to eat at the very first restaurant we came upon because the menu outside had veg options but when we got inside and were seated, the actual menu was different and the veggie burger wasn’t on it. I was under the impression that this is what Chooch wanted, that it was a deal-breaker, so I thanked the server and said we would need to go somewhere else.

BOY HOWDY, this set Chooch off, injected not just one bee but a whole goddamn HIVE of bees straight into his bonnet and now I was suddenly Enemy #1 because I EMBARRASSED THEM, and HE NEVER SAID HE WOULDN’T EAT ANYTHING ELSE.

Mmm, ok. Have you met Chooch? MR. FUCKING PARTICULAR? So now he was pissed at me and I was retaliatory pissed off at HIM. 90% of our fights: over food / college shit / the state of his room. It’s so dumb. Literally, what a waste of time.

Henry was caught in the middle, trying to diffuse the dynamite we seemingly had shoved up our asses.

My favorite part was when we were like this:

Collectively: BITCH BITCH BITCH *SCOWL* BITCH BITCH FUCK OFF

*Sees Robert & Dawn approach, puts on BIG FAKE SMILES*

Collectively: OH HELLO!!! *prays we’re playing the role of Happy Family believably*

But then, you know what? Something came over me and I dropped the charade. “WE ARE CURRENTLY FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER OVER WHERE TO EAT DINNER” because we had spent hours upon hours with these people at this point, might as well keep it real, you know?

“People are going to remember us as ‘that family who was always fighting,'” I added, with a self-deprecating chuckle.

“Look,” Robert said, “you should hear us at night when we’re back at the hotel.” Dawn nodded in agreement. “We get it!”

It was such a nice, real moment, you know?? They suggested the place they just dined at, but it was pretty much all seafood so that did us no good.

We ended up at Spokbaren Gasten, which was the sister restaurant to the haunted house! It was sat right at the end of the exit of the haunt, how convenient!

Chooch got “non-alcoholic” wine, so basically grape juice. He said it was OK. I think I got a cider and Henry got a local beer. It took a reallllly long time for our food to come out so they comped our drinks, which was very nice.

Not gonna lie though, the food was pretty effing good. While we were eating, Tim and a bunch of other Coaster Crew guys came in and claimed the tables behind us. Tim came over and talked to us for a good bit and it is honestly what I remember more than the food itself – the good conversation with Tim. It was like our first REAL TALK and I loved it. I wish anyone who is reading this could meet Tim. If you are a fan of riding roller coasters, you should seriously consider joining Coaster Crew. Annual memberships are not very pricey (I want to say our family membership is like $50??) and you can attend fun events with super amazing people. This was our first time meeting Tim in person but I could tell by comments online that he is sincerely beloved in the coaster community, and, once meeting him, I very quickly understood why. Patient, funny, caring, attentive, knowledgeable – he’s the kind of person you want on your team, you know?

So, I’m looking at this picture of my food and all I can think about is Tim leaning on the railing next to us and asking us about our lives back home, etc.

After dinner, we went on the Lisebergjoulet – the Liseberg Ferris Wheel. WHAT AMAZING VIEWS.

When I say the wheel was “off the beaten path…” It was like we weren’t even in the park anymore, but some type of nature preserve! The path wound up the hillside and was completely hidden from the rest of the park. You couldn’t even see any of the rides.

After this, Chooch and Henry rode the drop tower with Pam, Kevin, and Johnny. I almost always sit out when it comes to drop towers, and this one was no exception. I just really don’t enjoy them! Anyway, Chooch bullied me about it afterward and tried to make me jealous that I missed riding something with Pam. He also said that Kevin had a very high-pitched scream and that it was jarring.

Pam and Kevin both had decided to opt out on Balder ERT since they gotten enough rides on it during regular park hours. So after the drop tower, they both planning on calling it a night. However! Johnny had given us the scoop that if you ride the little boats near the entrance, you get an actual license at the end. I didn’t really understand what that meant, but I was sold and apparently so was Kevin because he stopped to ride them before retreating to the hotel for the night:

Chooch and I were soooo giddy on these boats. We somehow caught up to Kevin and kept bumping into the back of him, so finally he turned around and yelled, “These aren’t bumper boats!” and that just made us crack up even harder. Chooch and I can be the ultimate pests when we buddy up.

But dude! Johnny wasn’t kidding – there are these machines at the exit where you put in your name, it takes your picture, and shoots out a license. I am obsessed with it. I actually forgot that it was in my wallet and saw it the other night when I was at dinner with some work friends and I tried to get them to look at it but they ignored me. Story of my life. I will strive to be more exciting so that I can captivate an audience.

Played more candy roulette, rode the best pendulum ride of my life (it was also apparently the first one I’ve ridden by Intamin so I guess that’s the difference), rode some flat ride that looked super thrilling and daunting from the ground, but was actually pretty tame, went back to the hotel lobby for ICE CREAM, got a final ride on VALKYRIA, and then joined the group at the entrance of Balder for an hour of insanity!

We stayed for the full hour and the energy was sizzling, man. It was electric! Everyone was chanting BALDER BALDER BALDER, the ride ops were hopping on with us, they were BARELY pushing down the restraints so we’d get max airtime – I was in love with everyone on this night. My face hurt from smiling and my throat hurt from screaming! These rides on Balder were by far the best that we had during our time there. I was mildy underwhelmed when we rode it on the first day, but no – this is a back row night-ride coaster through-and-through.

Chooch never left his seat in the second row – people just kept rotating out with him. I got to ride with him once and he was like, “Be prepared to be annoyed” because the one girl who hated me also was staying in the same seat with her friend and Chooch said they were being so obnoxious but clearly not enough to get him to change seats, lol!

Since the park was officially closed, we got to leave through a restricted, employee’s only area that took us under the track of Valkyria! This is also where Chooch realized that he left his backpack in the cubby in Balder’s station, so he had to run back. I was like, “Give me the room key, I’m not dealing with this” LOL and sent Henry off with him.

Luckily, Chooch said that Eric and Marie were actually still in the park so they didn’t have to actually open a gate up for him or anything, THANK GOD. I would have been so embarrassed if Tim had to get involved! But Chooch said that when they got to Balder, the ride crew was walking out, having just shut everything down for the night, and one of them had his backpack slung over their shoulder.

Anyway, it was well after midnight at this point and we had a 6AM bus call in the morning so that was concerning. Tim was VERY CLEAR that we were going to be on a tight schedule and therefore would be waiting for NO ONE. I guess there had been instances on past trips where people were late getting to the bus and it screwed everything up for everyone, so Tim was trying hard to not let that happen again.

(It didn’t! This isn’t a cliffhanger, lol.)

Anyway, I spliced all of my Liseberg videos into one comprehensive wrap-up and will post it here FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION. I should have been doing this with my videos from every park. Sigh.

I took today off because I have some PTO I need to USE OR LOSE and I swear every time I do this, I’m bored immediately. I’ve already fed the squirrels, played with the cats, made my breakfast smoothie, read a few chapters from a physical book and audio book, edited more vacation photos, chatted on the phone with Christina (they love to hear about all the weird ass “friend” drama in my life that doesn’t involve them for once lol), and tried to wake Chooch up so we can play tennis because he doesn’t have school today.

But now it’s 10AM and I’m just sitting here like, “………….” with NCT live stages playing on TV.

So, let’s look at some pictures from last week’s life.

UberHenry drove Jann and me to Crawford School of Terror on Friday after work. It was Janna’s first time there!

The haunt itself was still as good as ever BUT I was really annoyed because typically you only get sent in with your own group. It seemed like it was true this year too, as the couple in front of us got sent in alone. I was really getting pumped, knowing that Janna and I were going to be sent in a pair of guileless, frightened broads and would get the utmost attention, right? NOT QUITE. The person in charge of the line told us to go on up the steps, but as we started to leave the line, she said to the two LITTLE GIRLS behind us, “You can go with them if you’re scared.”

AND THEY DID.

I was so annoyed because they were like 11 or 12 probably, knew everyone inside and tried to get them to break character, and screamed, “SLAY” at everything. So fucking annoying, especially when Janna and I were basically treated like we were their moms and nothing good happened to us. We finally had a chance in the pitch-black maze to ditch them SO WE DID. I practically pulled Janna through it and we could hear them screaming, “WHERE DID THEY GO?? WE’RE LOST!!! HELP!!!” LOL, slay all day, bitches.

The next day, Chooch had his sailing thing and then I went to Sergio’s to get my hair fixed finally. I feel really bad because I did genuinely like the other salon and the stylist I had, but the last two times I went, my hair was just…eh. The last time especially it turned out two-toned, bleached in some areas and brassy in others. I looked like hot trash on vacation because of it but what can you do. It’s just hair at the end of the day LOLOLOL SAID NO WOMAN EVER. So, I went back to Sergio’s but chose a different stylist from when I went in 2022, thinking it would be fine, who the hell is going to recognize me after only going there once, etc. But then as soon as I walked in, the receptionist was all, “OH HEY ERIN LONG TIME NO SEE” and then started fawning over me and said, “You were wearing fun stuff the last time you were here too” and then she made the one shampoo guy (I’m sorry, it’s 2023 not 1952 but I have no idea what the official title is for these types of salon staff and I know it’s basically like calling a flight attendant a stewardess at this point, so I probably sound like a rude asshole) come over and look at my shoes (my velcro Vans) and then he asked me if I made my sweater (??).

(I did not, in fact, make my sweater.)

Anyway, I got my hair fixed by a lovely lady who shares my name so obviously she’s gonna be great. We had really good chats too. My cut was way uneven from the last time so she was like, “Serious question, is this side purposely longer than the other?”

That would be a big nope, friend. I don’t know what was happening there but the last several visits to the old salon, I was leaving with an uneven cut that I didn’t notice until I got home.

Also, my hair is blended and toned down a lot now too. It feels more “autumnal.”

Sunday night, Henry took me, Chooch and his friend Zakk to Dungeon of Horrors at the old Moundsville state pen. We hadn’t been here since 2015 so I was excited to give it a whirl again!

Tightwad Henry sat in the car and watched IG reels probably because he can’t justify paying $20 for a haunted house (unless it’s Castle Blood, natch). But it ended up being fine because we got put in a group with another trio who ended up being amazing (I actually had a feeling they would be and tried to make it so we would be paired up because the one person reminded me a lot of the aforementioned Christina and I got good vibes. My vibes didn’t fail me for once!).

As per the ujjjje, all the details go into my haunted house journal but I just need to say that this was ACTUALLY TRAUMATIC – there was a very sick stunt they pulled right in the beginning that plays on claustrophobia bigly and I would have been screaming if I hadn’t been buried up past my head in a tight chamber of rubber balls. Let’s just say we were bonded with the other trio in our group – Brenda, Selena, and Michael, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU! Well, maybe you Michael, because you didn’t say two words the entire time, but Selena and I were locked in a jail cell together and Brenda had those strong Christina vibes and was just genuinely concerned for our safety the whole time and part of me wanted to be like LET’S EXCHANGE SOCIALS OR SOMETHING SO WE CAN DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME?? But alas, I didn’t, because Chooch is my social kryptonite and always makes me feel like an extroverted freak when I try to engage strangers and bring them into the fold. Sigh.

I wonder if the Old Erin will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon after he goes off to college??

2015 v 2023 :(

Then Henry had to soak my jean jacket in some special housewife concoction when we got home because in one of the rooms, I leaned against an industrial sink coated with fake blood and got it all over my back. I just like to get really immersed in these things, ok?

But yeah, with the exception of Saturday night which found me suffering from a headache and weird body-feels after skipping lunch, sitting in a salon for hours, and not drinking enough water, it was another really good weekend. I just genuinely like October so much.

We took a break from Liseberg Day 2 in order to explore the city. I mean, it would be a crime to go to Europe and only ride roller coasters, right?? I was so excited when I saw we had two days at Liseberg because I knew I was going to want to use some of that time to be tourists.

There was a tram stop right across from our hotel and we were able to very easily take it right into town.

We got off at the central station area and spent the rest of the afternoon just walking around with no real plan other than looking for a hardback copy of Beartown in Swedish (no luck), somewhere to grab a light lunch, and somewhere for Henry of the Petite Bladder Clan to piss. (Spoiler: the Ikea there did not have a public restroom.)

Random ice cream sign that needed to be remembered. I miss you, GB Glace. I miss you bigly. No one misses you more than me. I’m a person that misses the most. A tremendous amount of missing.

Gothenburg had a poppin’ shopping district where I bought zero things.

I think I know that kid.

I’d like to add that Henry is supposed to be helping me write this but he claims he “doesn’t even remember that day.” Now he’s looking at some man soap website on his phone that is not even Swedish.

“Is that when I was looking for a bathroom?” he just mumbled. OH SO HE DOES REMEMBER.

You know how when you’re in the moment, you just start snapping photos because you want to remember everything, no matter how insignificant it might seem, say, two months later when you’re sitting at home looking at them and trying to think of how to caption them for your blog?

Yeah…

If I lived in Gothenburg, I would sit in this courtyard often. It surrounds the magnificent Gustavi Cathedral, btw.

No photos allowed inside, but we went inside to gawk and light a candle. Big fan of churches from a tourist POV.

I MISS SWEDEN. Literally not a single shitty experience was had in the entire country. Wonderful people. Chill vibes. Beautiful culture. PREVALENT LICORICE. Korea is still my past life country (not in the sense that I think I was Korean bc that would be a gross and inappropriate line to cross being the white mutt I am; I just mean that Korea feels so familiar to me like I lived there once), but Sweden is somewhere I definitely see myself revisiting again and again.

I asked Henry if he would go back. He paused, looked up at the ceiling which I guess was to illustrate that ‘look at me, thinking’ and then said, “….I think so. Yeah.”

Wow.

I liked this door so I took a picture of the door. Oh, I remember now!!! We were walking aimlessly toward where we thought the water was! And Chooch sidetracked us because he wanted to climb some random steps that ended up being a good plan because it allowed for some nice views at the top (PLUS THIS DOOR).

I mean, even with that crane in the skyline, isn’t this place just a goddamn dream??

I look old AF (because I am old AF) but I’m including this because MEMORIES of walking around looking for food while Chooch complains because he wanted to buy his friend Zakk something from some random sci fi shop and we made him leave because we were LOOKING FOR LUNCH.

He threw this in my face for like 3 days afterward. “I can’t wait to tell Zakk that I wasn’t allowed to buy him anything from the sci fi shop.”

OMFG please. That brat just wanted to buy himself something and I promise you it’s something that he could have bought anywhere, not unique to just Sweden.

LAKRITS. I want a giant LAKRITS ice cream cone for my front yard.

At one point, we ran into Kevin (the one who sat in front of us on the bus for nearly the whole trip) and Marshall who were excited to tell us about the great lunch they had nearby and what a good value it was on top of that and we did go inside briefly to check it out but IF YOU RECALL, I wanted a small, light lunch that day for some reason. Maybe I wasn’t that hungry? And as usual, who cares when Henry and Chooch wanted, am I right? Haha ha hahaha. Ha.

Then we found the famous Ahlstroms! This was on my very unorganized list that mostly lived in crumpled ball in my head. But I recognized the name! It was established in 1901!

“I was just glad they had a bathroom,” Henry sighed.

While he was pissing his heart out in a 1901 urinal, Chooch and I braved the sandwich counter. The people working there (and in line with us!) were so wonderfully patient and helpful. When I asked if one of the ladies if a certain sandwich had meat on it, she couldn’t think of the word in English and the girl behind me paused her convo with her friend and said, “It’s cod!” and we all had a laugh.

No cod sandwich for me, please!

Henry was still in the bathroom!!!

EW HE JUST TOLD ME HE DIDN’T JUST HAVE TO PEE, THAT WHOLE TIME HE HAD TO SHIT TOO. He pooped in a 1901 bathroom!!!! He ruined it with his American waste!!!

You guys, this sandwich was just what I needed. The bread was so perfectly poppy-seedy. I can’t remember what Chooch got – some kind of cheese sandwich? Mine was EGGS. I got a cinnamon bun and Chooch got whatever he got.

Then Henry came back from stinking up the bathroom and pouted because we had food so we were like, “You are a grown-up, capable of independent decision-making. If you want your own sandwich, go the fuck up there and get one?!?” So he did. Something with meat on it. He thinks he liked it.

Then…more walking! It was the perfect day. High 60s. Blue skies. Fresh air. We had just signed Balder that morning. Writing this blog post, 2 mths later, and I can still remember how content I felt!

Guys, let’s go back to Gothenburg.

German Christian Church. I’m glad Chooch isn’t the type of kid who gets all put-out and whiny when it’s time to pop in a church for cultural purposes.

Otherwise, we might have missed this.

My geotag on this tells me it’s Gustav Adolfs Torg, a town square.

We went into a souvenir/candy shop around this area to buy magnets, etc.

Made our way back to Central Station because there was more fun to be had at Liseberg and we needed to start heading back.

But first one of these two doofuses I was with put us on the wrong tram and we were headed in the opposite direction. Luckily, it was an easy fix but UGH these two and their constant map-quarrels. They both have to be right and I feel like they purposely choose different routes just to be forever contentious with each other. Idiots.

Before we went back to Liseberg, we tore into this famous Princess Cake that we got to go from Ahlstroms. I wasn’t sure if I liked marzipan but turns out, sure! I sure do! I wish I hadn’t had to share this with Henry. Fuck.

But Gothenburg? Will you have me back someday? Because I really want to come back, stay at the Curiosa again, spend a day at Liseberg and then do all of the Gothenburg things. This was, to summarize the best way I can think, a comfortable day. The transportation was easy-ish, I bought a ton of licorice treats at Lakrids By Bulow—they have the best, fanciest, designer licorice, you guys – we got jars of lemon-coated licorice balls and mango-coated licorice balls and…I miss those balls, is all I’m saying. The lemon ones especially were amazing because they were slow-crafted and therefore $$ but 100% worth the inflation—and we just had a nice day of not rushing around and only moderately hating on each other.

ONE MORE GOTHENBURG/LISEBERG recap after this, and then we will move on to another part of Sweden. Please don’t jump ship. Stay with me. Pretend like it’s the 1950s and I pulled out the old, overheated projector and we’re going through a slideshow of blurry photos, most of them with Chooch mid-eye roll and Henry airplaning food into his own gaping maw while I’m trying to get shots of the scenery behind them while I’m narrating it in a monotone and making you eat salty licorice. See? It could be worse.

I would be remiss not to take some time out to fully appreciate the splendor* that is the Grand Curiosa Hotel in Gothenburg, the official hotel for Liseberg amusement park. It was seriously like stepping back in time. I know that if we had visited Liseberg on our own, Henry would have reserved some fly-by-night not-hostel but not-hotel for us and we would never would have known the opulence that could have been. I made a whole post that included pictures of our room while we were still there, but I have some more – plus a video! –  that I want to share before all of this gets lost in the insane dump of coaster snaps on my phone that I am still wading through.

Yes, I know, I already posted this picture, but it fits in better here.

Random restroom guardians.

THIS SINK, HENRY CAN WE GET ONE.

This was the fancy Chinese restaurant on the top floor!

Licorice ice cream from the lobby – Tim was actually walking past when we were about to pay and slipped us some extra dining coupons which worked at the hotel ice cream parlor! THANKS, TIM!!

LOBBY UNISEX RESTROOM PIC.

You guys, please understand – when we travel, we stay at very mid-tier (sometimes low-tier, who am I trying to fool – no one’s believing we’re rich lol) establishments so this had me wanting to tap dance down the steps while singing a duet with Daddy Warbucks. This place was god-tier. And the hotel itself told a whole story about a couple who liked to travel around the world collecting cool artifacts and mementoes and then built a hotel to display everything when they ran out of room. Concept lodging, give me more of that.

You better believe we were all sad kids the morning we checked out and moved on to the next location.

All I want to say today on this strange Sunday in October, as the world continues to fall apart around us, is to just be chill. Remember that we don’t always know what’s going on behind the scenes with each other so let’s not jump to conclusions and be petty because I think as humans in general, we are all fucking doggy-paddling through neck-deep stress swamps. Let’s not add to each others stress and maybe go touch some grass and perhaps pick up some litter if we see it while we’re out there? Text old friends to say we’re thinking of them without any expectations in return? Make a donation to an animal shelter?

Me personally? I’ll be decompressing with the new NCT127 and screaming my face off in haunted houses. HEY WHATEVER WORKS YOU KNOW.

Today was Chooch’s last day of the high school sailing program that he signed up for last April without telling us, as you may remember. It ended up being something that he really enjoyed and took seriously though, so I’m glad that he got involved!

To give the end of the program a proper send-off, there was a regatta today for family and friends to come and watch. There were four teams. Chooch’s team was comprised of Zakk, Ben, and Daniel, and their name was Seagulls, apparently.

I have never watched a sailing race before so I legit had no clue what was going on, but the dad next to me SURELY DID, evidenced by the way he was screaming sailing terms into the air with such shit-straining force that I actually was scared to be near him. He was the dad of someone on Team Bentley, and at one point, he ripped off his hat (whatever a man’s beret is called, you know what I mean), hurled it to the ground, and screamed, “COME ON BENTLEY!!! GODDAMMIT!”

Um, bro. Calm the fuck down. Do you know how competitive I am? Like, bigly to the nth degree. But I knew that this was an “every child gets a trophy” event and that it was mostly just to show us the skills they learned so I was pretty calm and collected through the whole thing (also because just a reminder I had no clue what was going on). Plus, there were 4 separate races and I feel like each team got the chance to shine. (Chooch’s team came in last place for 2 races, 3rd for one, and 1st for one – so it goes to show you that all the kids could sail – there was no clear “best team” – OK fine, boat #1 but only because they were cheating and had some kid on it that I couldn’t stand and was TOTALLY A SAILING TYPE, if you know what I mean.)

I also hated the one mom next to me who was rooting for boat 2 and was wearing an athletic skirt while noshing on homemade granola (I made that part up but I bet she does make her own granola with ingredients that cost like $100 and buy “make her own” I mean that she orders everything online and then has her au pair make it after the kids go to bed).

Yes, Chooch was the only one dressed for a hot July day. It was in the low 50s, FYI. Maybe colder. I didn’t check the weather app, sue me.

Tied for third place with BOAT 2.  They came so close to winning the last race but then the wind did a thing and they stalled out or something I dunno. I also think maybe they didn’t care so much at that point, having already placed first in one race.

Oh! The highlight for me was after the second race, one of the boats came to shore so that they could swap out team mates (Chooch’s team stayed the same, and was also the only boat that consistently ad 4 people as opposed to 3 so they had weight working against them at some points JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND – this is what JOE THE SAILER kept reminding us as he was going the play-by-play over the PA, talking about ‘tack’ and ‘currents’ and ‘wind’ and I was like, “OK Joe whatever you say, sir.”). Anyway, this boat comes to shore and a girl gets out in A HUFF and cries, “I don’t want to do this anymore!” and then STORMED OFF. Her dad had to chase after her and console her. I was like, “THIS IS LIKE WATCHING MYSELF, I’M ENTHRALLED.”

Anyway, Chooch said it was probably because she was on the boat with the son of the HAT THROWER and that he was probably BEING MEAN TO HER, just another reason to hate that effing dad.

Team Seagulls!

You’ll never believe this, but in between furiously recapping my vacation that is now from over 2 months ago, I have actually been living a modest social life as well.

FIRST, Kara invited me to Moulin Rouge with her last Thursday night. Now, I’m not a musical bitch by any stretch of the imagination which is silly when you think about it because I, like most people with pets who double as their best friends/co-workers/children/spiritual guides/therapists, turn every last basic statement into a jingle all the livelong day. Can I sing along to songs on the radio? Give me a FUCK NO, Mindy. Do I sing Happy Birthday to anyone other than my son? Not without LipSynch Mode activated. But will I take a sentence and blow so much operatic gusto up its proverbial asshole that a Tony Award starts simping in my Instagram comments? YOU BETCHER BOTTOM DOLLAR, MOTHERFUCKA.

This is my way of saying that I don’t go out of the way to attend real life musicals, but once you get me there, I am usually moderately to sufficiently entertained.

First, Kara and I met at The Warren for a small pre-show dinner and MULES OF THE DAY (blackberry). It was nice. The vibe was a bit too Late Friday Night for me (maybe I’m just officially an Elder, but the music was SO LOUD for 6pm on a Thursday when all I wanted to do was talk to my friend), but the aesthetic was so my style. The blue walls kept my inner-Karen (CAN YOU TURN THIS RACKET DOWN??) at bay.

Kara wanted to take my picture in front of this but I got stage fright and said NO.

Then I had to ask her if I would die if I drank wine after a Moscow mule. She said NO.

So I got a sippy cup of pinot grigio and did not expire. Meanwhile, Kara was very close to ditching me for the super chatty old man in line behind her for refreshments and honestly, it would have been an upgrade. I’m not too proud to admit that openly to the Internet.

Immediately I was like, “OK. Sold. Here for it.” when we first saw the stage (after Kara was schooled on the subject of “This is your left. THAT is your right” by one of the no-nonsense ushers. She was here to help you find your seat, not provide any extra coddling.).

Kara and I don’t have very many selfies together, I feel like!! She was boxed in by this point so she had no choice.

Anyway, wow – Moulin Rouge was magical! I know OF the movie, I know the Lady Marmalade remake, but that was the extent. I didn’t know the actual plot, really. I didn’t know the characters, just that Nicole Kidman was in the movie. So this was almost like going into it blind. I think the reason why I never bothered to watch the movie was because, 1) well, it’s a musical; 2) not a big fan of Nicole Kidman honestly; 3) I really didn’t like that Lady Marmalade remake primarily because I never liked Christina Aguilera and that song was EVERYWHERE back then.

But now, after watching this…I might give the movie a try!

Then Henry went into Uber mode and drove Kara home even though she’s always finding random and weird things that she knows we need to have around the house and Henry always mumbles, “Thanks, Kara” like when she sent me an auction link for a bumper car when she knew I was looking for one to use as a couch.

(We did not get it, sadly/obviously. SOME DAY. YOU WAIT.)

The next night, Janna and I went to the first haunt of the season! It was Valley of Terror haunted hayride and it’s crazy because I have been seeing ads for this one probably since high school and occasionally even put it on my list, but never made it  to this one until this year!

First off, we had a very uncomfortable experience at the ticket booth, which wasn’t open yet even though it was 7pm, nor was there a sign on the window with any information. So we walked around to the other side where some lady YELLED IN A HOSTILE MANNER, “Can I help you!?!?” like we were fucking Jehovahs Witnesses tossing around pamphlets willy nilly. I was like, “We’re here for the hayride” like le duh, do you not know who we are? And she was like THE TICKET WINDOW IS BACK THERE IT WILL BE OPEN SOON!! And we did the walk of shame back to the window, where she opened the screen 3 minutes later and said, cheerfully, “HELLO AGAIN!” and was suddenly so fucking nice to us like she hadn’t just hollered at us (we were in a rural area where you get hollered at, which is different from regular yelling which is generally what takes place in the city).

So we bought our overpriced tickets and then walked around to the area where we were previously hollered at, only for some lady at the snack bar to holler at us this time?!?

“Can I help you??” she cried, and I was like, “What? Oh! No, no. We’re just looking.” Because we were considering our options even though it was CASH ONLY and I didn’t have any left because Henry only gave me the exact amount because he didn’t want me to have any spendin’ money left over, god forbid, I might run away with it.

And then she yelled at again, more accusatorily this time!? Now I was truly taken aback, feeling fully affronted. Again, I said, “No, we’re just waiting—”

“THE TICKET BOOTH IS OVER THERE!” she interrupted, pointing back to the way we came.

I waved my ticket in the air and yelled back, “We already have our tickets.”

Please keep in mind that we weren’t even standing close to the snack bar while this scene was going down all disjointed and awkward like a shitty middle school play rehearsal. So we were both legit shouting to each other across several picnic tables.

“Oh! I didn’t realize they were already selling tickets, I’m sorry!” she laughed, and that’s when I realized that she was LITERALLY asking us “CAN I HELP YOU” as a passive way of saying, “You aren’t meant to be here. Trespassers!” Here I thought she was just aggressively trying to get us to buy hot chocolate and a pretzel. I didn’t fucking know what was going on.

So that’s how the night started –  a right hillbilly hollerin’, and two of ’em to boot!

It was the HARVEST MOON night which I never would have known if not for Wendi telling us in group chat at work. Group chat is where I learn a lot of important life stuff.  She was like DON’T MISS THE HARVEST MOON TONIGHT which is how I knew to look for it.

I gotta save the deets for the HAUNTED HOUSE JOURNAL but the hayride was just “meh,” while the actual haunted walk-thru was YEAH BOY. Janna will tell you. I screamed lots. There were two chainsaw guys that attacked me bigly.

However, as I’m sitting here writing this now, the thing that stands out the most is sitting at a picnic table near the bonfire and talking about the time Janna and I both worked at St Clair Hospital doing FILING and the only thing I vividly remember is wearing WHITE PANTS one day and of course my period started, so I spent my whole shift trotting to the bathroom to check for leaks.

But while I was recalling this to Janna, I realized immediately afterward that I was talking VERY LOUDLY and as I tossed a casual glance over my shoulder, I made hard eye contact with the couple sitting behind us, listening intently to my rejected IT HAPPENED TO ME story for Jane Magazine.

Actually, the scariest part of the night was tied between when the ticket taker for the haunted house just could NOT figure out how to punch the hole in the ticket and then bragged about how the haunt has been running for over 30 years and I was like, “OK, but is this the first year they implemented a hole puncher then?” and when we got lost on the way home almost immediately after and had to turn around on a really scary backwoods-yet-residential road while a very old and skinny man in an undershirt, boxers, and knee socks shambled across the street to his house and did the super quick jump-scare head turn at the last minute to look DIRECTLY INTO OUR SOULS.

“He looks like if John Waters hadn’t become John Waters,” I cried, white-knuckling the steering wheel and grandma-driving the fuck out of there.

“Somehow, I understand what you mean,” Janna said.

Then on Sunday, I met Amber, Lauren, Sandy and Nate at the Abbey for brunch!! Lauren and Sandy are ex-Law Firmers, so I was very happy to get the chance to see them while eating good foods in one of my favorite places that I sincerely do not eat at often enough.

It’s us! Fun fact: Sandy, Nate and I (+ Mitch) were all hired the same year, but now Nate and I are the only ’10-liners left. :(

It was my idea to have the waiter take our picture but I told Amber, “You do it. You ask him” because not only am I great idea person, I’m a highly adept delegator.

Well guys, that was pretty much the whole ass recap of last week’s “I Saw Friends” happenings. I have more haunted houses on tap, and a dinner with some current and past work friends next week so maybe another recap will be forthcoming!? It can’t all be amusement park posts, right?!

I forgot to do the MAP THING on my last post so how were you ever to know where we were?!?! Anyway, here it is. Day 7, we were still in Gothenburg.

Before I get into our second day at Liseberg, here is some important information:

Remember how I said a bunch of times on this wasteland that the roller coaster that turned me into an enthusiast is T-Express in South Korea? Well, fun fact about that coaster: it’s one of only four “pre-fabricated” wooden coasters manufactured by Intamin (one of the best in the game; even if you aren’t an enthusiast, if you have ever ridden VelociCoaster, then you know just how god-tier Intamin can be). The second pre-fab we rode was El Toro at Six Flags Great Adventure, and I was so stoked to cross #3 off the bucket list at Liseberg, home of Balder.

One of the fun facts about Balder is that sometimes the park will let people into a restricted area to sign the wooden supports. Usually city officials, engineers, plus I’ve seen some of the “bigger” coaster YouTubers get to do it. I really didn’t think anything of this though, didn’t even consider that it would be an option, until I started seeing this one guy commenting on nearly every informational post in the Coaster Crew Norden event page.

“Are you going to sign Balder?”

“Can we sign Balder?”

“Will we get to sign Balder?

“Balder, can we sign it?”

I guess it wasn’t just me who was like, “OMG calm down – did Balder ASK for your autograph?” because on our first day at the park, we ran into Tim and several other people from the group and Tim mentioned that while we had ERT on Balder the next night, he wasn’t sure if we could sign it. I guess the park had tightened up their rules because you know how it goes – it only takes one person to ruin it for everyone else and someone / some people had apparently written unsavory things on the supports.

“If we don’t get to sign it, Justin will be furious,” Tim muttered, and we all cracked up because EVERYONE KNEW about his obsession, like he was sleeping with Sharpies under his pillow.

Anyway, at some point that day, Tim made an announcement that the park had graciously changed their mind and anyone who wanted to sign Balder could meet at the park’s entrance after breakfast the next day.

You guys. I didn’t know how much I actually wanted this to happen until right then. This had even become an inside joke with some of my friends at work. I sent Nate a Balder postcard and wrote BUT CAN WE SIGN IT?? on the front. God only knows if he ever got it though because it was with the bundle I gave to Henry to mail. He took it to the front desk and asked if he could mail them there, because some hotels still do that shit even though it’s 2023 and I’m part of the 1% that still hand-writes notes about stuff that no one else would consider worth “writing home about.” Anyway, he said the woman at the front desk acted confused and said she didn’t know, and then took them from him with the famous last words: “I’ll handle it.”

Well, she probably handled them straight into the trash because a bunch of people never got their postcards and I’m certain it was all the ones he handed over that day – WITH NO POSTAGE. That was literally what he was trying to ask her, if he could buy stamps or pay to have the hotel handle. I mean, the hotel in Copenhagen charged him TEN DOLLARS to mail two postcards, so no way in hell any hotel was going to do this service for nothing.

(Not surprisingly, those two postcards made it to the recipients while we were still in Denmark. Henry was like, “Wow that was fast” and I said, “Well, you paid $10 for that speed, so.”

Jesus, I “talk” a lot, even on here. Anyway, breakfast on day 2 was just as exquisite as day 1!

I was so fucking giddy that morning.

The day before, after Chooch and I rode Balder for the first time, we were behind some of those guys up there and I heard one of them mention T-Express so I said, “I love T-Express!” which was Chooch’s cue to eviscerate me with his eyes.

“Oh really?” one of them said.

“Yes, it’s what got me to love roller coasters!” I said enthusiastically. And then, because I don’t know when to stop, I blurted out, “I mean, I always liked roller coasters even before that, but I guess just…moderately.” I wasn’t even haldway through that sentence and was always psychically shoving my foot into my big stupid always-moving mouth.

Chooch said one of them rolled their eyes at me but then said he was kidding but I feel like he wasn’t kidding since he said it in the first place!!!! I AM SUCH AN OLD LADY LOSER DORK UGH.

Mark probably wouldn’t have rolled his eyes at me. :(

Hold on, I’m asking Chooch again for the truth.

Wow, nevermind. Little bitch has his NOTIFICATIONS SILENCED.

SOME VIDEOS because I always want to remember this atmosphere, everyone being in a surreal state, the ethereal Balder music playing in the background…this was one of the best moments of the trip for me, you guys. I got so emotional. I’ve watched so many YouTubers come to Liseberg, watched so many POVs of Balder, and never in a million years did I think that one day I’d get to come to Liseberg and ride it, let alone SIGN MY NAME on it.

YOU GUYS I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL NOW THAT PAM AND I BOTH PUT HEARTS AROUND OUR SIGNATURES!!!

Anyway, we were only allowed to write our name / Coaster Crew / date. I was OK with that!! Otherwise, I might still be there trying to think of what to write or trying to creatively draw over my inevitable mistakes.

I also didn’t realize at the time but we signed near Robb Alvey who is like King Coaster. I feel like most of the coaster YouTubers don’t like him / interact with him. He’s like the OG, possibly the first one to start making coaster content years and years ago, and probably has the most credits out of everyone too. In fact, after I became obsessed with T-Express, his channel was pretty much the only one that had T-Express POVs. Dude has literally been everywhere.

I’m also pretty sure I heard some Coaster Crew members make sounds of disgust when they saw his name lol.

Tim said mine was really pretty!!

Pam took this! When I posted this on Instagram that day, Megan commented on how genuinely happy I looked and it’s so true. You can tell because my smile is real!!

I’m so glad I got to this with this group of people. It was amazing. Tim is amazing, and Liseberg is ESPECIALLY amazing for permitting this to happen. They took such amazing care of us while we were there.

Henry’s thoughts on signing Balder: “It was great. What else do you—it was great, it was a one time….” voice tapers off into oblivion. Guy literally can’t even give me one full sentence.

After Balder-signing, the park opened to the public and guess what time it was?? CAROUSELFIE TIME! Interestingly, only children can it on the horses, so we had to sit in the spinny circle seat.

Us, live on the carousel, guest-starring Chooch’s massive eye roll.

We got in a morning ride on Helix while Henry waited for us at the CHILL FACTORY with a latte. Prissy little bitch.

The station of Valkyria – I honestly have never ridden a dive coaster as much as I rode Valkyria – this one was just that good!!

We left the park around noon in order to go explore Gothenburg for a bit. TO BE CONTINUED.

Welcome back to more Liseberg lovin’. Our dinner that evening was an early one with the group in the park. It was a buffet, but fancy AF.

We sat with Kevin and Pam!

Somehow I didn’t take a single picture of any of the food, but the buffet was actually a vegetarian’s wet dream because one entire table was spilleth over with a wide array of salads – so many salads! Greens, quinoa, pasta. To be honest, I loaded the FUCK up on that and rye breads. And then I hit the dessert section and THE PANCAKE BAR.

Goddamn I miss these perfect pancakes.

This was the lobby of Restaurant 1923.

After dinner, we went back to the hotel to rest for a bit because we had ERT on Helix that night from 11pm-12am and wanted to be able to stay for the whole thing because that coaster was WONDERFUL and we wanted night rides!

We went to the grocery store across from our hotel because Henry needed aspirin probably. I took this opportunity to buy treats.

And Henry bought dumb drinks.

FUCK. I wish I could walk down the street to the local gas station and buy these. Salty licorice, fuck me up.

Went back to the park after about an hour or so and got our kiddie credits. Here are too many pictures of Chooch and me riding both of them. I was pissed because when we were on this dumb little baby coaster, some of the coaster crew picture walked by and stopped to talk to Henry and it was killing me to not know what they were talking about and of course as soon as I ran over to him, panting, and wheezed, “What were Larry and Jean saying to you??” Henry conveniently “forgot.”

Chooch is actually smiling here, genuinely, because I think this was when Jean was also taking pictures of us – someone from Coaster Crew was, anyway!

“I miss those people,” Erin said in a tiny voice. 

This was the only half-past-kiddie more-toward-family coaster that we also rode and actually had to wait in line for it!! It wasn’t too long, maybe 25 minutes, but still. All for a credit.

Nearly every game at the parks we had been visiting on this trip where roulette type of games with giant candy as prizes. I had seen this on various YouTube videos but had no idea how prevalent these games really were. There had to have been at least 20 different booths with all different types of candy prizes. It was nuts. You see people walking around the park with oversized candy packages tucked under their arms like it’s the most natural thing.

Henry and Chooch kept taking turns playing and every time it was Henry’s turn, he would put his coin down on a number other than the one Chooch and I were suggesting, and every time, it was our number that was being landed on. It was infuriating. Henry sabotages us so bad, I goddamn swear.

And then Chooch finally won! Of course I wasn’t recording when the actually “win” happened because this was probably the 27th time he tried and after a while, recording got old. He chose this box of Anthon Berg assorted chocolates and there were actually 4 double-layered boxes inside the big box. We didn’t try any until a few days later, but um….holy shit this was goddamn sensational chocolate, people. We’re from the land of Sarris Chocolate, which is the best American chocolate I have ever had (get your Sees boxed chocolate away from me, please). I don’t want to say I’m a chocolate SNOB, but growing up with Sarris makes you feel a certain sense of expertise when it comes to this shit, you know? So when I say that this Anthon Berg motherfucker has fathered some delectable chocobabies. I’m not exaggerating. This chocolate was divine. I looked it up online and one box is like $35, so I guess this was some good winnins after all. Congrats, Chooch!

He had to lug this enormous box around with him for the rest of the night though, but it made him super popular with our group during Helix ERT later on though, because he was the first person from Coaster Crew to win at any of those games and everyone was EXTREMELY interested. I had to laugh because Judy came over and took an entire box out of it so she could get a better look, lol. (<—added that ‘lol’ in case you forgot that I started the sentence with “I had to laugh.” #writing) No boundaries with Coaster Crew!

<3!! I can’t remember if it was Tim or Austin who took this. It was right before Helix ERT was about to start and we were trying to get one last ride on Lisebergbanan – this coaster gave me supreme giggle fits so bad! Made me want to holler obscure thoughts into the ether.

So creepy being here after the park was closed to the public!

Helix ERT was so chaotic and hilarious! The constant switching seats, switching ride partners, screaming, shivering because that second launch at night was FREEZING, riding with PAM!, laughing at Pam for screaming ‘I feel the need for speed!’, riding in the front row with Larry!, Henry actually lasting the entire hour of marathoning, Chooch riding with pretty much everyone BUT us until the very end when I caught him getting into an empty row and managed to slide in next to him much to his chagrin!

Just thinking back to this night…I’m smiling so hard but also on the verge of tears. This was one of the best moments. I never want to forget this!

OMG I couldn’t imagine going to sleep after this because of the adrenaline, yet somehow….some way….we trudged back to the hotel as a group and I was barely able to get through washing my face and taking out my contacts before fully passing out in bed.

Here’s Johny’s POV! It’s a 360 degree video so you can move it and see Chooch sitting next to him – Chooch was like, “Oh great. I didn’t realize his camera could do that. Fuck, I rode with him on a lot of things, too…”

The next day was day 2 at Liseberg, but we also skipped out for a bit in the afternoon and explored Gothenburg so you know, look forward to that post I guess?!