“I was going to write about G-Dragon Day 2 but I don’t want to write about G-Dragon while I’m so fucking pissed,” I said to Henry, on the tail end of yet another nightly rant about TRUMP AND THIS FUCKING COUNTRY, FUCK YOU MAGA!!!! “So, I’ll just write about you and Chooch instead.”

“Wow, thanks,” Henry muttered.

On Memorial Day of this year, Henry and I spent the day at Twin Lakes, a really pretty park about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. We had such a nice day but I was bummed that Chooch wasn’t with us, especially because he was ignoring all of my texts that day because he was playing football which is way less important than responding to Mother, but OK.

That day, I vowed to come back here while Chooch was home for the summer. I ALMOST forgot about it but he goes back to Philly in two weeks and I am scrambling to spend all of the time with him, so I decided that we would take a family day trip here on Sunday, and bring food for a PICNIC.

“Mmm, great,” Chooch sighed when I told him to block off time on Sunday for FAMILY. Like it was a threat??

We stopped at Sheetz and got sandwiches to bring with us. Not a very fancy or well-planned picnic but it’s us, The Oh Honestlys. We are known for half-assing these things.

Henry brought a small bag of pretzels – the nugget ones – and Chooch and I cried out in disgust when he started eating them. Chooch tried to make him move to a far away picnic table while I likened his pretzel-mastication to the sound of gravel being chewed.

Ugh.

Then it was walking-around-the-lake time! It’s so beautiful there. I was actually surprised that it wasn’t more crowded because it was an absolutely perfect day. Sunny and low 60s. We love to see it. Turns out there were some geocaches there so Chooch was mollified, at least while he was searching for said geocaches. But in between those times, I was annoying him with G-Dragon gushing (he actually lectured me recently on being irresponsible when it comes to blindly throwing money at fandoms like who is the parent here??) and requests for picture-posing.

He was acting completely put-upon because he had to carry the reusable straw with him for the whole walk after he threw away his Dunkin’. SORRY FOR CARING ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.

Chooch lurking like Michael Myers over there.

Chooch is wearing a Men I Trust shirt, having just gone to see them last week, but I am always going to relate them to THE DEAD LADY ON THE SIDEWALK, UGH.

(My sweatshirt is DANCE GAVIN DANCE in case you care. The battle of the bands, via shirts.)

“Wait why do you have BLUES CLUES SHORTS?” Chooch cried.

“Uh, because I bought them last summer?” I shrugged.

“Why didn’t you get me any???” Chooch bitched.

“I dunno, because it’s not always about you??”

“You two fight over the dumbest shit,” Henry mumbled.

Geocaching.

“HOW MANY PICTURES DO WE REALLY NEED???” Chooch cried when I made them sit at a picnic table for this one.

“As many as it takes before I get one that I like,” I answered calmly, taking a second one with my sunglasses pushed up. (This one was the keeper though.)

It was a fun day of Chooch criticizing my every action. I’M GOING TO MISS HIM. :(

I love this place. And I love my dumb-dumb family.

After a solid hour-long stroll around the lake, we went to The Meadows for custard – I got peanut butter explosion which felt just like regular custard with some mini-Reese’s pieces sprinkled on top but both Henry and Chooch tasted it and said that the custard was very blatantly peanut butter too but it tasted like just vanilla to me, am I dying??

Ugh, what a good day. I am clinging on to these moments.

Back in 2001, I went to Buffalo with my friend Shawn for a music festival called Edgefest. We decided to also go to Niagara Falls since it was RIGHT THERE and this was pre-9/11 so you could just randomly cross the border with no passport back then. Simpler times. Safer times. :(

Anyway, on the drive there, I remember so vividly looking out of the passenger window and seeing an amusement park over to our right. I screamed, “OMG CAN WE GO!?!?” and Shawn, sounding like Every American Dad, said, “Certainly not right now!” It cracked me up so much at the time because it was so out of character for him.

Well, we never did go to that park. And eventually, I forgot all about it. But then I became a coaster enthusiast and it came up in my feed back in 2020 when it announced that it was closing and I thought, “OMG that park!”

Around the same time, Indiana Beach (which we just recently visited for the 3rd time!) also announced its closure and our community was so sad. Then!! A businessman from Chicago – Gene Staples – swooped in and bought both properties and has been working to restore them both ever since (well, moreso Niagara because that one definitely needed/needs more TLC than Indiana Beach).

The wooden coaster, Silver Comet, has been fully restored, and they brought in a little steel family coaster from some other park, which was up and running by the end of last season. So yeah, only two coaster creds to be had but I wanted to go here and show support so that they will continue to put in more rides and make this place shine. I mean, it makes sense to have an amusement park in that area! It’s actually close enough to the Falls that you can see the mist from the top of Silver Comet’s lift hill.

So yeah, we stopped here last Sunday after our super-quick jaunt in Canada for the Frank-n-Coaster, and I’m so glad we did! Chooch was not a fan, I will tell you right now, but Henry and I both thought it was a cute little park with potential. I wish I was a Gene Staples-type of person and could go around saving parks from shuttering.

Right off the bat, we walked through their littler Western area and it was so cute! Of course Chooch just shrugged and said, “It’s alright.” Ugh. They have shows here, I want to say 3 times a day. We caught the tail end of one later that afternoon and it was a real sight to behold lol.

A pretty little swamp area thing that we passed on the way to Silver Comet, which was a station wait BUT it was one-train ops and the ops were slow as fuck. Great and friendly crew, but the riders were total GP (except for the one guy we saw in an American Coaster Enthusiast shirt who was there by himself) and doing weird shit like changing seats at the last second and then suddenly realizing they wanted to put their phone in the bin and making one of the ride attendants come over and do it for them. It was wild.

Henry sat this one out – he makes Chooch and I ride all wooden coasters first and then we report back if it was rough or not. We both surprisingly LOVED THIS ONE. I wanted to immediately go right back on but Henry was like LET’S RIDE THE OTHER THINGS FIRST. Ugh.

There was this one broad who got onto the station as we were already in the train ready to go, but there were a ton of open seats and one of her kids was already on it so they were trying to get her to come on and she screamed I WILL ONLY RIDE IN THE VERY FRONT OR THE VERY BACK and then she offered to hold our stuff if we had anything we needed held. It all was happening so fast.

Other things like this seriously shitty dark ride called Flying Witch lol. It was relocated there from Rye Park also in NY and I was really excited for it because I love dark rides so much, but yooooo. This was so terrible, lol.

The facade was amazing though!

And those cars! I would kill to have one in my house as a love seat.

But this was another ride with super slow ops. I don’t think it’s the fault of the ride operators though – there appeared to be some reason why only one car could go through the house at a time. So, the next riders would just sit there until the car before them came out of the exit. Also, the door is kept open so you don’t get the thrill of the car bumping it open as it goes in.

I think that this can be good someday if they get it to look like something more than just K-Mart Halloween displays. And add some atmospheric music – they have music playing in the line but not inside! I dunno, I was disappointed BUT at least this was salvaged and given new life in another park. That is all that we, as dark ride lovers, can ask for. There is always the possibility of improving it, which can’t really happen if it’s in a salvage yard somewhere.

The next weird ass ride was the Serpent, which was ALSO running on just one car. As soon as we started to walk up the entrance ramp (just Chooch and me because Henry had gone to the bathroom and hadn’t caught up to us yet lol), one of the ride ops leaned over the railing and asked us how many we had. I said two because I ALWAYS forget about Henry, and dude goes, “Unfortunately, you need 4 riders to ride this” and I was like, “Oh damn I meant 3 but I guess never mind” and he said, “Oh, that’s fine then! I can ride with you.” I was like, “……………………ok” and we continued up the ramp and then Henry caught up to us and I was like “LOLOLOL YOU HAVE TO RIDE WITH THE RIDE OP” and he didn’t believe me until we started to see the kid jump into the car with other 3-people groups ahead of us.

You can see him here in the front looking so thrilled to be riding this thing, lol.

There’s my bae SILVER COMET over yonder.

Anyway, Henry almost got out of riding this because when it was nearly our turn, the ride op (I wish I could remember his name, I looked at his name tag purposely and totally forget it now) asked the people behind us how many they had and they just had TWO so he was like YOU CAN’T RIDE and then Henry the Martyr was like, “NO! I will get out of line and you two can ride with my family” and the dad of the duo behind us was like, “BUT YOU WAITED IN LINE THIS WHOLE TIME!” and Henry was like, “I promise you, I do not care.” It wasn’t a long line, but — one train ops, you know? Maybe about a 25 minute wait. So Henry had to go through this whole hassle of getting out of line JUST AS A MOM AND DAUGHTER APPROACHED and the ride op, already forgetting that Henry got out of line, told them that they could jump the line and join the dad and son who were supposed to ride with us!?

Henry was starting to walk away but I screamed, “HENRY! YOU CAN RIDE WITH US AGAIN!!!!” and he was like, “GODDAMMIT” and had to cut all the way through the line to rejoin us. It was chaotic. You don’t care.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

Anyway, it was actually SO GOOD?? The ride op sustained casual small talk with us the whole way up the lift hill. I asked him how many times he has to ride this during the day and he said, “If I had to guess….27 times.” Pretty specific guess.

But yeah, I was actually shocked because I expected this to be a lumbar cruncher, but it was pretty smooth and genuinely fun – the one helix made me extremely giddy!

I wish this was running – I’ve never seen a Musik Express themed like this!

Baby cone!

OK, now it was time to get in some re-rides on Silver Comet! Henry joined us this time and there was actually a line. Not a big one, but because ops were molasses, we probably waited in the station for about 15 minutes. We ended up sitting near the front and um….what a completely different experience from earlier. It was so rough and Henry was PISSED! I was fucking laughing so hard that I was trying to not pee my pants while also screaming in pain because WTF WAS THIS??

It had to have been because the train was completely full as opposed to just 4 rows being filled when Chooch and I rode it earlier but Jesus Christ it was running like a completely different coaster. Henry was like I’M DONE as soon as it came back to the brake run and Chooch was like, “Yeah, I hate this coaster now. It sucks.”

But I was like, “NO. We have to give it another chance. Let’s go ride it again in the back.” Henry waved us off in a dismissive “you do you” manner and sat on a bench while Chooch reluctantly followed me back into the line. We got to go right to the station this time and I asked the one ride op if we could wait for the back row because someone was already standing there and I like to be polite and ask because sometimes parks want people to fill the rows!

The guy was super nice and said, “Absolutely!” and I smiled smugly at Chooch.

“You’re so cool,” he muttered.

SILVER COMET A/S/L.

Yeah, this was just as terrible in the back now that the train was at capacity, LOL. But it was somehow SO FUN for me and I was cracking up so hard in spite of the possible internal damage it was doing on me. I honestly wanted to ride it again before we left and Chooch was like, “Ride it by yourself.” :(

The greenery was so lush here!

I made Chooch ride the Scrambler with me and they were playing really shitty country music over a crackly speaker, which is the first thing that came to mind as I recalled this moment.

I was telling Chooch about the time me and Blake took him on the Scrambler at Lakemont Park when he was TWO and you can’t even see him in the picture and then I dropped him (in slow motion) when we were trying to get him off the ride and the ride operator who was probably the same age as Blake (like 15!!) had to come over and help as he slowly slid out of the car, down my leg, and onto the pavement LOL. What a great moment for me as a mom.

The aforementioned tail end of the show which was fucking hilarious but also rife with fake gunfire that was so loud it was causing young kids and babies (and maybe me) to cry.

I’m pretty sure this was 90% of the people at the park that day.

He rolled off the roof!!!

Carouselfie time! The ride operator was some young kid who was very strict and yelled CELL PHONES AWAY, YOU CAN TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU WANT AFTER THE RIDE ENDS but I had already put my phone away by that point and the ride hadn’t started yet so HE BEST NOT HAVE BEEN CALLING ME OUT.

The kiddieland area was so adorably creepy!

ALICE’S FACE GOES SO HARD.

Train time!

Oh yeah, the wristbands just reminded me of this: we bought our tickets online but only got two ride-all-day admissions and Henry got the $4.99 “walk-around, no rides” admission, but the guy at the gate gave him a wristband anyway! “Yay, that means now we can do a carouselfie!”

“Mmm boy,” Henry and Chooch mumbled in unison.

Henry wore his G-Dragon Ubermensch hat and Chooch periodically reminded us of his disapproval of how much we paid for it. Chooch is basically our parent at this point. Everything we do is so disappointing and irresponsible to him. I love it.

The train took us along my bae, Silver Comet!

There is one vantage point where the track looks like a smashed hornet’s nest, just the most inexplicable tangle of track. Henry said he actually thought it was two coasters.

On the way our, we stopped at the cafe near the entrance for boba tea. As expected, it wasn’t the best.

Our “so so” boba.

Overall, I personally had a blast at this little park. There is so much potential here and I’m going to keep my eyes on it for future additions – it’s only about a three hour drive from Pittsburgh so I would happily go back.

Chooch did not like it at all and Henry was on the same page as me except that he hated Silver Comet and never wants to ride it again, but meanwhile I came home and was watching videos about it on YouTube the next day because I missed it so much.

When I think of Labor Day Weekend 2025, I am going to always remember it as the weekend I got a good drivers license picture taken, we had a fun day trip to NY / Canada, and there was brewing hope and excitement that fucking Trump might have been dead. What a great and giddy weekend. Too bad the Trump part wasn’t true though.

It’s been a minute since I’ve done a Friday Five and I’m feeling like that’s what I want to do today so that’s what I’m doing.

1. IS HE DEAD YET

Remember last weekend when the Internet thought that the orange dickheadtator was dead? Remember how fun and invigorating that was? I had the most fun online that weekend than I have had in years. That pre-celebratory, hopeful euphoria breathed life into me and I was positively giddy! The Weekend at Bernie’s memes were sending me. My mom came over on Monday and, knowing that at least during his first term she was a Trumpophant, I gleefully blurted out, “DO YOU THINK TRUMP IS DEAD???” She had a very neutral reaction so I don’t know where she stands.

I was just telling Henry last night that it was one of the happiest, most fun weekends I have had since everything started to tank for me in 2023 and then I started crying because WHY IS HE STILL ALIVE. Almost a full week of not seeing his orangeness and hearing his slurred sentence fragments rife with made-up words and not waking up to more infuriating news of what part of our country he’s shitting on next.  So, now I’m just back to being miserable, depressed, full of rage and frustration. I have NEVER hated someone so much in my life and it actually feels like it’s chipping away at my health. LET’S GO BLOOD CLOT. And I want that shit to happen on live TV too.

I did see a comment on Threads (where I live now) recently likening him to a cockroach – “he’ll survive a fucking nuclear fallout.” This feels so true and I hate it.

(I have been reading stuff about 1989 Romania and I am so fucking amped up. THE PARALLELS ARE SCARY.)

2. THE VERIZON PEDDLER

Last Wednesday while I was working, THE DOORBELL RANG. I had no choice but to answer it because the door was actually open and the bell ringer was actually staring right at me through the screen door. It was some young Verizon guy who could NOT make eye contact with me during his spiel, which I quickly interrupted to say that MY HUSBAND is the one who handles this shit. Chooch and I have AT&T and as soon as I said that, he was like “OH! HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY?” Dafuq if I know, bro. Again, I defaulted to “wife helpless, husband smart.” He asked to talk to Henry and I was like, “he’s taking a nap” so then he asked me when I expect him to wake up LOL. These Verizon peddlers, ISTFG. I was like, “Definitely 6pm” knowing that I wouldn’t be there because I was meeting Margie and Sue at Juniper Grill for dinner.

I was warning Henry about the visitor he could be expecting later and said, not like this meant anything to him, “He reminded me a lot of my friend Evan from high school.” Evan is also the one who owns the tattoo shop where I have gotten my last three tattoos so I do know the adult-version of him, but this kid reminded me specifically of high school-era Evan. Henry was like, “cool story” and continued oaf’ing around the house or whatever he was doing. Watching Instagram reels probably.

Anyway, while at dinner later that night, my jaw slowly dropped open as I saw THE AFOREMENTIONED EVAN stride past our table?! He was there with his family so I didn’t want to interrupt but I thought that was wild considering I haven’t seen him outside of his tattoo parlor since…the early 00s probably.

When I came home that night, Henry told me that not-Evan had come back to the house – twice! – but Henry didn’t answer the door. Rude!!

3. Vanity

I had to get my driver’s license renewed over the weekend and as usual, I was so tightly-wound over it because I hate having my picture taken –  that could make or break the entire weekend for not just me, but everyone around me.

Henry accompanied me to AAA because he needed to get his international driver’s license for our upcoming trip. I had already gone through the rigmarole of answering all of the questions and getting the dreaded photo taken – I don’t know if the DMV does this because I haven’t gone there in years to get my license renewed ever since I learned that AAA does it and it’s way more convenient, but AAA will retake your picture until you get one you like! – and was sitting next to a large white woman in her late 50s who acted like she and her equally-as-loud husband were the only ones in the waiting area and watched videos on their phones with the volume full blast while speaking loudly about the additions they want to add to their house and how much it will cost, like OK brag much.

“WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE CELL PHONES??” she shouted into the ether.

“STARE AT THE WALL I GUESS,” her husband responded in a booming voice to match her MIDDLE AGED WHITE WOMAN IN A WAITING ROOM energy.

Meanwhile, that is EXACTLY what I was doing = hands folded in my lap and staring straight ahead at a wall, willing this part of the day to pass quickly.

Then Henry joined me.

“For some reason, it completely slipped my mind that I would need to get my picture taken for this,” he whispered in a NORMAL WAITING ROOM VOICE VOLUME. But then he showed me his picture and I couldn’t fucking help it, I LAUGHED REALLY LOUD.

So loud that the AAA lady who was manning the numbers for the driver’s license area also started laughing.

I can’t remember what she said – something about it doesn’t matter if men’s license pictures are bad as long as ours are good or something, and then I couldn’t stop giggling and it was a trickle down effect with some of the people around us.

He looks like they pulled him out of a cave in the Ozarks, lol.

“I didn’t even take a shower yet this morning!” he said. “I would have if I have known!”

So his hair is all greasy PLUS he has hat hair big time, and a tuft of it is sticking out at the side. I love/hate it so much.

Oh, and he looks ANGRY. Like his moonshine operation was just busted.

Meanwhile, I got called back to get my license and I am so happy with the photo!

I mean, sure, my Leno chin is just as prominent as ever, but overall my hair looks nice and my smile looks un-fake so I’ll take it! Henry was like, “OMG stop” because I legit gloated over this the whole way home. I even got out all of my old driver’s licenses to compare and this one is definitely the best one. Then I pulled Chooch out of his room and made him look at all of them and he was like, “Ok.” and I said, “Tell your friends!”

“Tell my friends WHAT?” he scoffed.

“That your mom got a good driver’s license picture taken today!”

LET’S LOOK AT MY DRIVER’S LICENSE PICTURE HISTORY SHALL WE???

My last one was taken in 2017 and then reissued with the same picture during Covid, which was annoying:

I remember this next one was taken in 2014 on the day I met Janna to look at an apartment she was looking to rent above some dude’s garage! I was wearing my Cure shirt from their 2008 concert:

It’s about to get real ugly, literally. This next one was from 2009 ugh why did I dye my hair, also I was about 45 pounds heavier there than I am now oof:

This next one was from 2006, a few mths after giving birth:

A little bit slutty in 2001:

LOL and my first one, in 1998:

LOLOLOLOL. I was 18 here.

Thank you for joining me on this ride through my driver’s license history.

4. THE VERIZON PEDDLER’S RETURN

Last Thursday around 6PM, I had JUST glanced out the window in time to see the Evan-esque Verizon kid approaching the house. I ran onto the back porch just as the doorbell rang and told Henry, “It’s Verizon again! Just answer it so the poor kid can stop wasting his time coming here!” Henry was like GODDAMMIT and stomped over to the door while I hid on the steps.

I was sitting there for quite a while, wondering why “No” was taking so long??

BECAUSE HENRY FELL FOR THE SPIEL!

Apparently, Chooch and me switching to Verizon (Henry already has it but it’s through his job) will save us over $100 a month, who knew. Plus we get new iPhones and I have been dying for the iPhone 16! (Actually, I would love to divorce iPhone altogether but I am a sucker for Hipstamatic.)

Evan-ish had a girl with him this time, I think she was his supervisor, who can be sure but when I was still hiding, I overheard her ask him a question about how bricks are made and he was REALLY into explaining it to her and then she was asking him about ceramics and turns out he knows about things like this because of “engineering” so I’m not sure if this is his side-gig while he’s in college or what but my guy needs to not be doing this forever because he seems super intelligent. Henry must have been in the process of filling out paperwork or something so this is what they decided to talk amongst themselves about. Emma even asked Henry at one point where he got our doorbell and he was like, “I made it” in his typical staccato caveman grunts.

So, now I had also be involved in  this chat since they needed to look at my phone and ask me questions. The girl (her name was Emma) was like, “OMG WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PHONE CASE??” and I said, “Korea!”

“WAIT, YOU’VE BEEN  TO KOREA??” she squealed. I told her we’ve been there 3x and she was like “WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK AND WILL YOU TAKE ME” so now Henry was creepily typing messages to me on his phone, things like, “ASK HER IF SHE LIKES KPOP” so I asked her and she said yes and started talking about Kpop Demon Hunters and then I went and sat back down so Henry texted me, “ASK HER WHO SHE LISTENS TO” like he was legit COACHING ME  TO MAKE A NEW FRIEND.

I didn’t ask her right away and he was getting antsy, like he was truly trying to be my friend matchmaker, bless him. Finally, I did ask her and she was like, “Well, BTS and Blackpink are the most popular ones…” like she was trying to give this old bitch a lesson in Kpop I guess? But then she ultimately said she’s been listening to Ateez lately and I said, “Oh! We saw them last summer” and she was like, “OMG really??” and then I told her that G-Dragon is my fave and we saw him the weekend prior and she said that he really is the best.

“I would drop this guy in a heartbeat for him,” I laughed, jutting my thumb over my shoulder at Henry. But no, really.

Anyway, that happened. No, I did not ask to be real life friends, but I did give her and Evan-ish an iced tea straight from Henry’s work, lol. Overall, they were here for TWO HOURS. Chooch kept t texting me, “How are they still here??”

It was really entertaining, though! And now he and I both have new phones.

5. Speaking of new friends….

I signed up for Nourish and had my first Zoom call yesterday with my new dietician. This disordered eating has to stop, I am in such a rut and tired of crying and freaking out at the thought of having to eat. How has this truly been my attitude toward food for most of my life? It’s so fucking pathetic. But I have been admitting a lot of shitty/embarrassing parts of myself to my therapist lately and the most prevalent one is definitely my fear of food and complete disgust with my body, like it fucking defines me and I can’t stand it. I should not be canceling plans because I don’t like how I look and then lying to people about “having a migraine” when really I am in tears in bed and wanting to carve into myself with a steak knife. I thought that maybe pairing therapy with a legit dietician can help me keep me on a stable path.

So, I met with my dietician, Amanda, yesterday and it was so nice! Informative (when she looked over my files she said that my daily calorie count I’ve been allowing myself is the same that a 2-year-old would need. So, there’s that. But then we started talking about YouTube workouts that we like, and then I was like DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A FUNNY STORY when she asked if I like doing dance cardio so surprise, it only took me 20 minutes into the call to tell her I’m obsessed with Korea. And then somehow I was telling her about my squirrels and after the hour call, I felt so refreshed and happy and ran upstairs to tell Henry. Then I realized, “Wow, I am fucking STARVED for real life conversation*. YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR DIETICIAN, ERIN.”

*(OMG the way I talked my face off at dinner last week with Sue and Margie, I was actually so embarrassed about it later that night when I was running through it in my mind which is what I do every time I come home from peopling because I am socially broken. The way my stories get so derailed, I hate myself. Spit it out, Erin. Pertinent details only. This is a no rambling zone.)

The Verizon girl, my therapist, a dietician who lives in Texas….meet my new friends, Blog. I guess it’s better than talking to myself like I normally do during the day, though, lol. Ugh.

Warning: This is going to be messy and disjointed because my brain refuses to cooperate – the emotions are still so raw!!

When I first saw G-Dragon in 2017, I never would have known at the time the heartache that would follow. I just assumed, “OK, he and the rest of BIGBANG will be going into the military. Then they’ll come out and go on tour and we’ll go see them.”

God, if only.

Instead, they were wracked with scandals (only one of which was actually true and deserved), one member has been blacklisted (byeee), another retired (we have hope though!), and then G-Dragon came out of the military and basically had been laying low since 2019. A few non-music appearances here and there. A few comeback rumors that never panned out. Then finally! Last year he made a surprise appearance ON STAGE at one of Taeyang’s solo concerts and then came out with his long-awaited comeback single last fall. It has been INSANELY FUN again since then!

I guess I didn’t realize how empty I truly have been feeling these last few years and maybe it seems weird that a singer means that much to me, but he symbolizes a time when I was at my lowest and discovering him and BIGBANG actually breathed new life into me. They made me feel excited to get out of bed every day and learn more about them, Korea, Kpop in general. G-Dragon especially. Almost my whole life it’s been Robert Smith and The Cure, but you guys…

You guys…

It’s G-Dragon. These two nights in Newark really opened me back up! The way I have been thinking about recapping these concerts every day and then instead find myself sitting here smiling into space and then going to YouTube to watch fan videos. I am so obsessed with this man. I told Henry that I was worried that it wouldn’t be as exciting as the first time we saw him and he just frowned at me, like “come on, now.” 2017 was amazing, but his Ubermensch tour blew that out of the water!

I’ll never forget the electricity in the arena when the video for Too Bad was playing on the screens and then suddenly the audio was greatly jacked up, the lights went out, everyone started fucking screaming their lungs out. The energy!!! Henry noted that the screaming wasn’t as annoying as other Kpop concerts because so many men were in the audience, creating more of a “roar” than the shrill shrieking you get with the younger groups!

Not my video but just you know, I was fucking SHAKING during this intro and then IMMEDIATELY went, “Ohhhhhhhhh….” and burst into tears when I finally saw him with my own eyeballs.

And even without Taeyang and Daesung, the energy during “Home Sweet Home” made it feel like the ground beneath us was going to shatter and the roof was going to pop off the Prudential Center. It was, in a word, motherfuckingepic.

My pictures and videos were better the next night when we were closer, but this one just makes me so happy – it was such a celebratory moment!

And then he had his first ment of the night and I can still hear him saying, “HelLO!” and actually acknowledging that he was in Newark and not New York! Most groups just default to New York but then there’s GD with the geographical accuracy <3

I could listen to him talk for days, you guys. He could have just sat on the stage and read the paper to us – OK, not the paper, that’s too depressing, how about an old issue of Sassy magazine lol – and I would have been like, “Did I pay $$$$ for this? Yep. Am I satisfied? You bet.” JUST BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS HIM, I don’t care how Tiger Beat delulu this makes me sound, I could not wipe the absolute AWE from my face no matter how hard I tried. My facial muscles were frozen in reverence. He is one of a kind, 100%. A living legend. No one will change my mind.

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This was around the time he was telling us that BIGBANG is planning on a comeback for their 20th anniversary next year and I have been all over Henry about going to Korea for this. He is 99.999999% sold on the idea, lol.

I’m going to post more videos in my Night 2 recap because that night was more special to me. Just – everything about Night 2 was magic and perfection. Yes, even being there with Henry didn’t hinder any of that, lol.

OMG he seemed so comfortable too, with the crowd and with switching off to 100% English. He was incredibly jokey too – there was one point in between songs when someone shrieked, “I SAW YOU AT THE AIRPORT!” He smirked and said, “So what?” and then, “Just kidding!” with the cutest fucking laugh. Ahhh, I was screaming!

The final song of the night was Untitled which is one of the prettiest songs he has and it brings back so many memories of 2017 – my first GD comeback experience! He sang that song during the 2017 off stage and was literal feet away from us – we were one row back from the barricade at that concert – and there was one part where he held his mic too close to a speaker and it squealed which made him recoil and flinch, and to this day my mind is convinced that that same electric squelch is going to happen every time I listen to that song lol.

Also, this happened during encore! She’s:

• lucky she’s OK
• lucky that she got GD’s attention!!!!1111111111111111111111111

(On the real though, this was apparently the venue’s fault from the information I’ve seen – the railing she was leaning against legit gave out. Thank god she was already so close to the ground!!)

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I can’t remember the last time I smiled SO BIG, cried SO MUCH, and screamed SO LOUD at a concert. I could barely talk on the way back to the car. Nor can I even remember leaving the venue and walking back to the car! I do vaguely remember being hungry but completely crashing out in the hotel room before any decision could be made re: food. It was midnight by then anyway and I felt like I had just come home from a fucking rave. And the next morning, I was TRASHED! My head hurt so bad from all the screaming and I had the most annoying scratchy voice for the first hour or two of the day, but you better fucking believe that I was ready to do it all over again!

Hey guys hey, I’m all out of order over here. We had a really fun (for me) day trip on Sunday to Niagara Falls (a super brief trip!) and then Niagara Amusement Park outside of Buffalo. That will be its own post but in the meantime, here’s a quick review of a new-to-us vegan spot in Buffalo that we ate dinner at before starting out drive home: Strong Hearts.

It was the first thing that came up when I Googled “vegan Buffalo NY” which doesn’t always mean it’s the best, but the menu looked good and I didn’t want to get too deep into it. Not even a backup plan.

Right off the bat, I thought it was pretty inside, nice and bright. A little cafeteria-ish if that makes sense.  But for some reason, I really dislike places where you order at a counter. I don’t know why. Sometimes I just want a dark and cozy hole in the wall where I can stuff my ass into a booth and have someone COME TO ME for my order.

I also didn’t get great vibes from the staff behind the counter. Did I interact with them myself? No. BUT I FELT WHAT I FELT.

The menu was a banger though. To the point where Chooch and I were the Hem and Haw siblings, going back and forth between 5 or 6 different options. Do you know how hard it is to be us and go from places where we’re lucky if we can get a grilled cheese, to a place that has 8 different veggie burger and faux chix varieties alone??

AND DILL POTATO SALAD.

OMG I got this Chiavetta’s Fried Chicken which had buttery Chiavetta’s sauce, house slaw, dill pickle chips, mayo. I have no fucking clue what a Chiavetta’s is but I was close to writing a glowing review of it on the bathroom wall. It was unlike any sauce I have had before – definitely buttery but not in a “for lobster dunking” way.

OK I took one of the team and googled it – it’s some beloved local Buffalo BBQ flavor?? I guess it’s a whole-ass BBQ called Chiavetta’s and that’s like their…house sauce?

Just another reminder of how great I am at travel blogging. I teach you guys so much that it is actually exhausting. Like, where’s my sabbatical, you know?

Oh yeah, Henry got a sweet potato burger (the fries were impeccable) and Chooch got….a ciabatta BLT I think. He said it was good.

For the road, we also got cookies (confetti and snickerdoodle) and Chooch got a salted caramel cupcake. The cookies were fine and I didn’t see Chooch actually eat the cupcake so I don’t have much to report on that.

Overall – the food was great but everything else was forgettable. If we’re back in Buffalo, I think I’d prefer to get it to go and eat it somewhere else because the staff made me uncomfortable – oh yeah, I actually did kind of interact with one of them when we stopped at the counter to get the cookies and she was absolutely vacant and poker faced. Not even a hint of a smile. Not even a whiff of personality. She actually made me feel like I didn’t want to order anything else, honestly, like we were taking up so much of her time.

But, this is often our experience at vegan spots.

Good food, mid staff.

I didn’t want to start the drive home right after eating so I convinced Henry and Chooch into “just walking down the block” with me, which turned into, “What is that big building down there let’s walk to it.” Lol.

It wasn’t that far of a walk – MAYBE 10 minutes from Strong Hearts – but Chooch was being such a bitch about it. Then Henry finally was like, “FOR CHRIST’S SAKE” and googled what the building was because I kept wondering out loud.

I already forget what it is.

Oh. City Hall. Lol. Henry just told me.

I also liked these bitches on the roof of that other building.

More City Hall views.

It’s crazy but I think this might have the first time I have actually (sort of) walked around downtown Buffalo after being in and around the city numerous times for concerts.

Well, that’s all I wanted to say about that. What a fun (for me) day!

Being at the Prudential Center with all of my people was so invigorating. Yes, I was nervous and awkward about passing out freebies and I don’t know why because it went so well and my bag was empty before I knew it and I got so many awesome freebies in return.

It’s already such a blur but I definitely would be remiss to not talk about how there was a food truck – Hangry Joe’s or something – parked alongside the arena and one of the employees was walking around the crowd with a tray of chicken samples. I left Henry for less than five minutes while I was passing out my pins and by the time I came back, he was scarfing down free chicken (they were giving out BIG CHICKEN STRIPS, yo) and had a blob of coagulating condiment resting on his shirt. I was so embarrassed!

In fact, I believe what I yelled was, “You’re so embarrassing!” while he looked down and mumbled, “Aw shit,” swiping at the slop with a finger and leaving behind a dark oily spot on his already UGLY shirt (it was some bland baby poop color since he is resistant to any hue even remotely pleasing to the eye).

SO.

EMBARRASSING.

These banners were the product of a local fan project and we ended up accumulating so many of them over two days. Sometimes we go to Kpop concerts and get there too late, so I miss out on the banners but this time we were actively trying to avoid them because there were so many people passing them out!

The doors eventually opened sometime after 6PM and I was about to FLOAT OUT OF MY BODY. Once we were past security and had our tickets scanned, it started to really sink in that we were about to see KWON JIYONG. The actual King of Kpop. Your idols’ idol.

The line for this photo op was nearly as long as the merch lines, which were the longest merch lines I have ever seen at any concert. We didn’t even attempt that, knowing that we would be there the next day too and could get to the merch right after soundcheck and before the doors opened to the general public, but we ultimately decided on just coming down to the Prudential Center the next morning for early merch, which was the right call. I didn’t want to be stressed out during sound check, thinking about running to get into the merch line!

For night 1, we were in section 7, row 6. The next night, our seats were so much closer but this was still GOOD. I’ve been to the Prudential Center a bunch of times (two KCONs, BTS, Stray Kids, NCT127) but have never sat in the lower section so this was a nice switch-up!

People watching before a concert starts is one of my favorite parts of the night. I was obsessed with the three girls in the row in front of us. From what I had gathered, they had all come solo but befriended each other during soundcheck, so they were chatting away before the concert started and I was desperate to insert myself but never did. I LONG for concert friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that Henry also likes Kpop and comes with me to every concert but sheesh, to be with a group of girls would be the best. I’m just not good at small talk anymore so anytime I *am* sitting alone at one of these concerts because Henry has a nosebleed seat, I just can never sustain a conversation long enough to get to the “let’s be friends!” portion (except for Pamela who sat next to me at NCT Dream in 2022! We became IG friends but her IG is just for selling/trading photocards and we have no interaction). But these girls were adding each other on socials and squealing over each others’ Kpop concert experiences, sigh. The one girl had a British accent and we made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles and I was ready to fling myself at her. I’m so lonely, lol.

I love that GD had guitar picks made for each stop of his tour! Everyone got one as soon as tickets were scanned and I am already wearing mine as a pendant, in case you were wondering.

Henry’s stain can be seen here. I sent this to some friends who were like “he looks thrilled.” :( Look, I can’t help it that he always looks like this. Maybe it’s the “being around me” part of these things that makes him look miserable. Because he likes G-Dragon,  I know that for a fact. (OMG a man liking Korean music, HOW WEIRD.)

I needed a beer so bad before this started because MY NERVES. This was my check-in picture of Untappd but you can see the British girl in the background who I realized later reminded me of Grow With Jo whose YouTube workouts I love, so it’s no wonder I gravitated toward her!

OMG. A smile. Sort of.

I had two guys sitting on the other side of me – they were both there alone and it was the first time in history that I was actually sandwiched by men at a Kpop concert. G-Dragon is just different though. I would say it was almost an even split between men and women – and not just boyfriends and husbands being dragged along by their partners. G-Dragon has FAN BOYS. And they are actually more rabid than the girls! There were so many times throughout the night when you’d hear masculine, guttural roars of “I LOVE YOU!!!!!!” from the guys and it would make GD crack up every time. He is just truly on another level.

I think I’m going to end this here and then recap the concert portion separately because you know me and how I love to drag shit out! But I will just end by saying that I legit felt like puking and my legs were shaking uncontrollably while waiting for the lights to go off! KWON JIYONG!!!!!!

Ideally, Chooch would have gotten his 400th coaster cred on our dumb road trip this summer but there is always the unpredictability of ride closures so there were some parks where not all the coasters were running, and he ended the trip with 399 credits, oof! He suggested going to King’s Island because they rebranded I305 and re-profiled part of it so it technically counts as a new credit but I really didn’t want to do an overnighter and leave Penelope home alone. So, my counter-suggestion was to do a day trip to Niagara Falls and do the Frank-n-C0aster because what a stupid milestone coaster!

We left the house around 7:30AM and trust me, I was really reevaluating my life at that moment because as much as I love going places, I absolutely hate the “morning of.” I wake up early regardless but there is something so diabolical about early morning drives for some reason. It’s only about 3.5 – 4 hours away but ugh. I was so drowsy and it was so boring. Pretty much the whole way, I “hopescrolled” on Threads, waiting for absolute confirmation that dear leader had finally bit it.

Eventually, we made it to the Canadian border and this happened:

Canadian border guy: What brings you to Canada?

Henry: the coaster on top of the Burger King. Canadian border guy: 🤔 How long will you be here?

Henry, sighs: As long as it takes to ride the coaster on top of the Burger King.

The border guy was NOT amused by this and was like, “whatever, have a nice day” as he shoved our passports out the window. A totally different vibe from when we were going to Toronto in June, that’s for fucking sure. Chooch and I were so embarrassed too because Henry was giving up way too much detail. A simple, “Visiting the Falls” would have sufficed.

LONG STORY SHORT – we made it to Clifton Hill around noon and Henry kicked us out of the car so that he could just drive around and not have to park. Trust me, this dumb coaster was not cheap and Henry 100% did not care about missing out.

Dude I used .5 on this picture and Chooch looks like a fucking giant. Anyway, the coaster is part of the Frankenstein House thingie and there are combo packages to do everything but luckily you can also pay just for the coaster which was like $25 USD for both of us I think??I was actually too afraid to look at the receipt. I also immediately forgot the instructions that the ticket booth lady gave us and Chooch was like JUST FOLLOW THE ARROWS FOR GOD’S SAKE. It was dark in there!

“I hope we don’t have to wait in line!” I cried and Chooch was like, “Yeah, I doubt there will be a line.”

There wasn’t a line, lol. But we did have to wait for the current cycle to run its course. It was basically just a bunch of kids and families.

Probably none of these people traveled to Niagara Falls just to ride this dumb coaster and leave.

That distinction went to me and Chooch. (This is some stupid-ass thoosie behavior.)

OK first of all, we were assigned to row 2 and they don’t let you make requests even if only three cars are being used, like it was on our ride. I didn’t hear the explanation they gave Chooch when he asked if we could sit in the back and then he was mad at me for making him ask because HE TRULY DIDN’T CARE WHERE WE SAT HE JUST WANTED TO GET IT OVER WITH. Wow. Someone revoke his thoosie card because his spirit is gone.

Anyway, this dumb coaster was pure chaos. First of all, you’re almost ejected out of your seat at the top of the lifthill when it makes a sudden stop, almost like the wheels are getting snagged on a Burger King wrapper. It jolted me so hard that I tweaked my neck a little bit. Then the rest of the ride is just clankety-clanking around the track and I swear to god some of the turns were squared.

And they send you twice.

I actually felt unsafe, careening around this Jank City track that feels precariously perched on the BK rooftop. Yet I could NOT stop laughing. Just straight-up cackled through both cycles to the point where the ride op laughed at me when I got off and asked, “Enjoy the ride?” Oh brother, not sure “enjoy” is the right word but that was QUITE memorable.

Then we had to go from the bright sunshine back into the blacklit stairwells of Frank’s House and I had to be led by my Seeing Eye Chooch. At the very bottom of the steps, he was in the process of telling me to watch out for the very last hidden step when a fucking STRONG and LOUD blast of air got me so good that my best “being chased by the chainsaw guy” scream came hurtling out of my lungs.

Not many coasters come with jump scares, I’ll tell you that much!

What a weird little coaster, lol. It’s not thrilling by any means but if you’re into gathering “coaster creds” – do it. It’s hilarious AND there’s a pretty cool view of the Falls from up there, too. I personally thought it was fun but Chooch was a big walking MEH after that one – he’s that “not easily impressed” “age, you know.

After this, it was back to New York for Niagara Amusement Park!

On one hand, I am so excited to recap my G-Dragon experience, but the other hand always holds the refusal to acknowledge that it’s over. This is the worst PCD I’ve experienced in quite some time – and I am pretty seasoned at this feeling! This one just really hits different. He’s just some Korean guy to my friends but to me, he is the guy who pulled me out of a crippling – and serious – depression in 2016 and added joy and excitement back into my life. I don’t ever want to be that person again and I found myself toeing that line again through 2024 and a lot of this year too. Last summer around this time, I am not afraid to admit that I was suicidal. There was a break down that happened in Chicago last August that actually gives me chills when I replay it in my head because I was so close to just letting go.   But I am going to say this right now – after last weekend, I feel alive again. So, make fun of me for liking this stuff all you want, at the end of the day it’s giving me joy when almost nothing else can. When you don’t have a good support system, turning to music is like a default.

I just don’t understand why people think it’s OK to make another person feel like shit for liking something they don’t understand. I didn’t intend for this to start out negatively but I am still stewing over the fact that one of my work friends texted me a picture of the group chat THAT I AM NOT EVEN PART OF ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS ADDING SO MUCH TOXICITY TO MY DAY THAT I REMOVED MYSELF and btw it wasn’t even my group anyway so I did not even belong there. Anyway, in the chat I guess they were bitching about an atty from Newark who was causing grief among the group and someone mentioned that I was actually en route to Newark to see G-Dragon so someone else was like “Maybe Henry can take care of this guy for us” or something and someone (wow, I wonder who) said, “He’d probably rather be doing that anyway” or something equally stupid and it’s just not funny anymore. Like I am “dragging” Henry to these things. Like Henry doesn’t have his own opinion. Like Henry doesn’t also genuinely like G-Dragon. WHY WOULD HENRY HAVE GONE TO KOREA WITH ME 3X. WHY WOULD HE HAVE AGREED TO GET MARRIED IN KOREA. WHY WOULD HE HAVE BEEN “IT’S OK” AFTER I SPENT $$$$ ON THESE TWO CONCERTS (you have no idea). It’s just actually rude and inconsiderate to insinuate that I am THAT controlling of Henry. Blog, do you remember when I used to go to concerts alone? IT WAS BECAUSE HENRY DIDN’T LIKE THE BANDS I WAS GOING TO SEE. Yes, occasionally he took one for the team and still went with me, but he was very open about not enjoying it.

And there have been several Kpop concerts where Henry sits in the nosebleeds because he wants to be there but we can’t really afford to both get good tickets so we sit separately. WHY WOULD HE BOTHER STILL GOING IF WE WEREN’T EVEN GOING TO SIT TOGETHER UNLESS HE GENUINELY LIKED THE GROUP?

Men can like Kpop. It doesn’t have to be a fucking joke and I’m so tired of the poor Henry comments. It’s rude to him too because it’s making it sound like he doesn’t have his own free will!? Like this can’t be something that we have bonded over?? He sends me Seventeen and G-Dragon Insta reels all day long!

Sorry-not-sorry to be ranting but that truly set me off that day and I was in a foul mood pretty much until it was time to leave the hotel and go to the Prudential Center. It didn’t help that I was also panicking aver what to eat because I didn’t want to be in pain during the concert and we struck out with the vegan place Henry found (they left us sitting at the table long enough for me to have ordering anxiety so we left) and then we went for a walk in a really crappy cemetery where I ranted more about how I’m sick of people acting like Korean (or Asian in general) things are “lesser than” because OMG no English, and then we ended up finding a nice little smoothie joint called Protein Corner where I got a delicious passion fruit smoothie bowl and Henry got a Fruity Pebbles protein shake – all made by a husband/wife team while their little kid popped in and out. It was a true family affair, and it was the perfect pre-concert  meal because it tided me over without giving me a stomach ache.

Anyway. Now that I have all of that out my system. Trust me – everything else is much more positive from here on out! Just, you know, if it’s not hurting anyone else, LET PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE. God, I crave these concerts so I can surround myself with people who aren’t judging me!

Here are some obligatory pre-concert hotel pictures. I was so excited to dust off my bang bong (a/k/a Bigbang lightstick)!

All of my accessories! Two mini-Daisy bongs (one is standard and the other is the mint-version that was sold through the fan club last spring – I had to set my alarm for 4AM to buy it lol), my GD photocards and keychains, and my PEACEMINUSONE red clip that was a gift for the VIPs at his 2017 concert. The only other time I ever splurged and bought VIP to get soundcheck! Anyway, by the end of the two days, I had accumulated so many freebies that my purse is an entanglement of dangling beads now lol.

I bought this scarf forever ago from someone on Etsy – it has Bigbang and G-Dragon lyrics on it and I knew immediately that I needed to use it to fancy up my daisy bong.

My big bag of freebies! I had over 100 to pass out both Friday and Saturday. This tote bag was also part of the VIP gift from the 2017 concert and it felt so apropos to use it as a freebie holder.

My Korean Vans!

You have no idea how fucking excited (and sick!!!) I was on the way to the Prudential Center! I just kept moaning, “OMG OMG OMG OMG” like I was on my way to have a baby.

July seems forever ago. And so do these books.

1. The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

Somehow, I skipped over this old Riley Sager book but now I have finally read every single of his novels, for better or worse. This one was not one of the best but not one of the worst. I have never read from a more inconsistent author, ISTFG.

2. Rainbow Black by Maggie Thrash

I saw “Satanic Panic” and “gay international-fugitive love story” and was all in. But this 100% did not deliver. It was extremely long and drawn out but SHOULD have been a higher rated book for me because while a dark and traumatic subject, it was written with humor and sharp sarcasm. But the story itself did not hold up to its end of the bargain. Good dialogue writing will only get you so far.

3. Saltwater by Katy Hays

I LOVED THIS BOOK. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I only rated it a 4 on Goodreads but looking back on it, the fact that it’s stuck with me, made me crave revisiting Italy, and was full of characters that seemed real and fleshed-out to me – maybe this should have been a five. Especially because I would recommend it to anyone. Props to Megan who actually left me her library copy of this while I was cat-sitting for her, because she still had time left on it and knows I’m a fast reader, because this wasn’t on my radar and honestly – the cover isn’t something that would ever convince me to pick it up.

4. Victorian Psycho by Virginia Feito

Another 4-star! This was twisted and I loved every fucking page. A book that can me laugh out loud *and* want to vomit? Yep. This author is right up my alley. My Goodreads review: “Jesus. Lol.”

5. Piglet by Lottie Hazell

And another 4-star! July treated me well. This was another book with a protagonist full of neuroses and it sucked me right in. Trigger warning for people with disordered eating and that people is me. Very tough for me at times but worth it. Great writing. Justice for Piglet.

6. The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition by Saumya Dave

2 stars. Total snooze and a waste of an eye-catching cover.

7. The Better Liar by Tanen Jones

3 stars – a middle of the road domestic thriller. It kept me interested but I’m not screaming about it from the rooftop.

8. If an Egyptian Cannot Speak English by Noor Naga

OH! This was INTRIGUING. I loved the style of this writing. Totally invested. I just wish it had provided a bit more descriptions of Cairo. 4.5 – it resonated with me big time. The ending truly caught me off guard too.

9. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett

OK hear me out. I love Ann Patchett. Especially Dutch House which was beyond 5 stars in my heart. But this….oof. I ultimately gave it a 3 but there were many, many, many times I considered DNFing. It took so long for anything to happen. So mundane. The opera singer was one of the most cardboard cutout characters I’ve ever been forced to read about in a novel. I did not give a single shit about her. It did pick up eventually only to have one of the worst and most disappointing endings of any book I’ve read. I can’t recommend this one.

10. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki

Oh, go fuck yourself, Laura Dean. HONESTLY!

Friday, August 2 was our last day of what was hopefully not our last family vacation! I think we were all ready to wrap it up, to be honest. Not in a bad way! But we vacation hard and there was very little rest, plus that fucking heatwave in the first half of the week really drained us big time.  But Henry had proposed that we stop at Indiana Beach on the way home because they put in two “new” coasters since we were last there in 2022. So, hey why not right? Indiana Beach is always a good time.

Except when your period starts that morning and you’re suffering some really terrible cramps which has you doubled-over in pain at times and urgently needing to sit the eff down. Needless to say, I was content spending lots of time in the Fascination room watching Chooch waste our money.

EW.

There was one lady down there who had just learned to play Fascination and was such a sore winner that I legit couldn’t take much more of her big-ass mouth.

Chooch is pretty good at this and won a fair amount of times but not enough to win me one of those JAWS PLUSHIES!!! I WANTED ONE SO BAD.

This coaster is “new” to Indiana Beach but it actually came from another park in Mexico and that part of its history ended in tragedy so I was very not stoked about riding it here in Indiana.

Can you tell?

It actually wasn’t too bad though.

The last car is actually facing backward and I wanted to get that one but not enough that I was willing to stand in line again.

There was a little girl in front of us who cried her face off when she was too short to ride it and this was the second time that day that people in front of us had to leave a line after standing in it for 30+ minutes because they didn’t bother to measure their dumb kids at the entrance of the rides. On the other coaster (the other “new” to the park coaster which was just one of those rinky-dink Galaxi things) the one mom was like YOU SHOULD HAVE A SIGN THEN!!! and the ride op was like, “We do” and pointed way back to the entrance of the ride. Haha. In your face, mom.

Honestly, there wasn’t too much that happened during our short stint at Indiana Beach aside from me complaining about menstrual pain and bitching about the crowds – it wasn’t even THAT crowded but compared to the vacant parks we had experienced up until then, it was SHOCKING AND APPALLING. I had my Karen sun visor on. You just can’t see it.

So, what I’m trying to say is let’s just look at some random pictures from the park. I’m pretty sure Hoosier Hurricane was the last thing we rode (three whole rides!) before Chooch played more Fascination and then we left to begin the last stretch of our drive back to Pittsburgh.

Chooch made friends with this seasoned couple next to him. They invited me to play too but I was like, “No thanks, I’ll continue to sit in the corner and bleed out.”

Something must have inspired me to snap this picture. Who knows.

Indiana Beach is truly such a quirky park. Usually, we do the dark rides too but one of them is an upcharge and the other one, all adults have to ride alone in their car and the line was long. Since this wasn’t our first time there, it was a hard pass.

The layout here makes no sense. It honestly looks like something that I would have designed in Roller Coaster Tycoon – rides on top of each other, interwoven coaster track, etc.

And that’ll do it for my long-winded, super drawn-out vacation recap. Overall, it was a really fun way to turn 46, I loved spending time with Chooch (ugh and Henry), I loved going to new places (and one new state!) and I loved all of the idiotic inside jokes we picked up along the way. I really value these chaotic road trips and the memories that we make, and I hope that Chooch does too!

Thanks for limping along with me!

Cred: Head in the Clouds

A quick interruption to my annoying vacation recap to be even more annoying by saying that:

• I saw G-Dragon
• I can’t believe that I saw G-Dragon
• I can’t believe that I saw G-Dragon two nights in a row
• I miss G-Dragon
• I love G-Dragon even more than ever
• I am ready to admit that he is my ult #1, I’m sorry Robert Smith I still love you too but….
• G-Dragon

I have so much to say about this past weekend. It was magic. Otherworldly. Somehow even better than the first time we saw him in 2017. Everything else sucks but at least I have this. How can my heart feel so full yet empty.

I think I have Henry almost on board to get matching GD tattoos – Chooch said, “ugh” and walked away in disgust lol.

I was dumb-excited to go to downtown Waterloo for dinner because ever since Chooch made me do that stupid morning radio show trivia game with him ON AIR, and the answer to the last question was Waterloo, I always laugh anytime it comes up in general conversation.

Chooch was the one who found the restaurant we’d be eating at that night and it was so nice to not drive around looking for something while arguing.

Newton’s Paradise Cafe!

It was just us, and two other tables of diners there that evening. It was perfectly chill. If you ignore the fact that after we arrived, some bell was dinging for about 5 minutes until the server finally came out from the back, and that was still less annoying to me than our experience at MULLETS the night before. Just in case you were wondering.

The face of someone who has been forced to spend too much time with me.

I announced that I was getting the portabella sandwich as soon as I had a menu in my paws. Then several minutes later, Henry said, “They have a portabella sandwich.” I yelled, “I know!” and Chooch said, “I don’t even listen to her and I still knew that’s what she was getting.”

BUT JOKE’S ON ME because they were OUT OF IT. The amount of times this happens to me is unbelievable! THREE TIMES on this trip alone! I’m the Schleprock of Restaurant Ordering.

It’s OK. I went back to my original choice of veggie wrap and remained in a decent mood. Somehow.

I mean, I had to sit next to Henry while he masticated a country fried steak like there was a time limit.

BUT YO. YOOOoooooOOOOooo. Can we talk about the coleslaw? IT HAD PESTO IN IT. It was so delicious. It dried my portabella tears right up.

Meanwhile, some guy and his little boy came in and sat several booths away from us. I don’t know what the kid said to our server but she was GENUINELY cracking up loudly and my FOMO was crowning.

“It couldn’t have been THAT funny,” I mumbled into my ‘slaw.

Anyway, it was a decent dinner, no complaints.

After dinner, I made the idiots walk with me down the street because I wanted to see the RIVER. It was SCARY!! “I’d say it’s a little bit flooded,” Henry said, probably thinking he was so funny and wishing his mom was there to clap for him.

Genuinely terrifying.

Some bitches.

Henry had been talking about how we were going to be driving past THE BIGGEST TRUCK STOP IN THE WORLD like, ever since we set off on this journey. And….then he proceeded to drive right past it?? I screamed at him about it so he had to get off the next exit and drive all the way back. I wanted a fucking Iowa magnet!! I hadn’t found a good one the whole time we were in that corny state.

You guys, it turns out that this is really only incredible if you’re a TRUCKER. Hence – TRUCKSTOP. This is not a really good gas station – it has some stuff for civilians but it’s mostly a big deal for TRUCKERS looking TRUCK ACCOUTREMENTS.

There was a lot of fast food options in there though and also a restaurant full of truckers.

We lost Chooch in this section for some reason. It was the most boring section of the whole store and I hated it.

LOL. The one Iowa photo zone I found in the entire state basically.

See? It’s just dumb shit. But they did have some nice magnets at least. So I got some. Because it was still technically my birthday and THAT’S WHAT I WANTED.

We made it to Illinois a little after 10PM – we changed our plans and instead of going home through Wisconsin to get that one coaster cred, Henry was like, “OR! What if we just go to Indiana Beach” and I was amenable to that because they have two “new” coasters since we were last there and honestly, we were only going to Wisconsin so that Chooch could visit one of his Mexico crew but then she wasn’t going to be there anyway and to be quite honest you guys, we were all just trying to take the fastest route home by then. I was tired and wanted to see Penelope.

Indiana Beach post upcoming!

As usual, I am such a snail at vacation recaps. But we’re almost to the finish line! I just have to get my mind off the G-Dragon track so I can knock this one out – I have therapy tomorrow and the way I am so excited to have someone other than Henry to talk about the G-Dragon concerts this past weekend. I am so pathetic, truly.

Before we get into Lost Island, I would be remiss to not mention the BEST gas station I have ever been to (nope, not Buckees, sorry but fuck Buckees, it’s not for me fam). It’s a local Iowa joint called Marker 126.

(Henry was more partial to KUM & GO, ugh.)

(Also the way it took me a hot minute to think of the word “partial” makes me think I need to do more brain games or something, sheesh.)

It was absolutely beautiful – had amazing food choices, a cafe, A BOUTIQUE. In fact, I had spent the whole trip lamenting the fact that I left my sunglasses at home and refusing to pay $30 for those shitty MAGA shades at other gas stations / truck stops, like I’m cosplaying a hunter or something, so fucking disgusting.

“THOSE ARE ACTUALLY NICE SUNGLASSES THO” Henry tried to red-neck’splain at a Love’s gas station when I was practically vomiting over the display because they were so hideous, constructed specifically to cover ICE agents’ eyes. Or Marjorie Taylor Green for when she’s fly-fishing for conspiracy theories and orange bronzer to gift Dear Leader.

By “nice” I don’t think Henry meant “lookin’.”

But at Marker 126, I found a pair that was EXACTLY MY STYLE, and they were only $13!! Now I regret not buying several because there were a bunch I was (bare) eyeballin’.

First though I used the restroom which hello, was in a gas station mind you:

Yeah. Marker 126 had my heart. I loved its whole vibe.

Oh, and this was all after we went to that religious grotto thing!!

But then! Lost Island.

This is a new theme park in Waterloo, Iowa. They already had a waterpark that is very popular and decided to build a theme park to go along with it. Enthusiasts have really been trying to spread the word about this place because it is so beautifully-themed but severely under visited because most general public don’t know about it and even if they did, who is going to visit Iowa for a theme park other than crazy-ass coaster heads like us?

There were barely any cars in the lot which was sad. It was already mid-afternoon when we arrived so you’d imagine that it wasn’t going to get any busier than it already was at that point of the day.

I was expected it to be so flat and widespread for some reason??

The park is divided into four different lands and you really do feel like you’re not on Earth anymore. Or at least not in the States. I can’t explain it but there was a vibe, lol. I felt uncomfortable in a way but also intrigued? I think maybe because it seemed so exposed there.

The main reason I wanted to go here – and even planned this trip around Lost Island – is because they got a brand new RMC! It was making me nervous though because their website kept saying COMING SOON even after we officially made our vacation plans, but then it opened ONE WEEK before we got there!

It’s a single rail which isn’t my favorite type of RMC and it was definitely not operated as efficiently as the one in Six Flags Great America where they have numerous trains constantly cycling. This one also had the moving station but the second time we rode it, they brought the train in and stopped it for everyone to get on so I don’t. The ride ops were very friendly but didn’t seem like your typical WE ARE OPERATING AN RMC DO NOT FUCK AROUND ride ops that I’m used to. These ones were like, “HEY LET’S CHAT” to everyone standing in line which was nice and I liked that.

I liked Fire Runner but it hurt my thighs.

I forgot to bring a Yuta photocard with me on this trip in preparation for the Yuta land of Lost Island so we had to improvise. IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW, Yuta is Henry’s NCT127 bias.

(Chooch, observing this photo being taken while being perpetually embarrassed of us: “THIS is why you were crying in the car about not bringing a Yuta photocard? You actually PLANNED FOR THIS?” Um, yes I did, duh.)

LOL my new sunglasses.

Also, the ride attendant made us listen to his whole safety spiel before opening the gate. Then he asked us where we were from and said, “Wow, that’s a long way to come” and we just laughed like buddy you have no idea the lengths we go to for the stupidest shit.

I really fucking loved looking around this place. There isn’t much to do there (yet) but hopefully this new RMC will bring all the coaster boys to the yard so that the park is able to put more rides in. It was actually creepy how few people were there. Aside from the RMC, we were legit walking on to everything and sometimes we were even the only people on the rides.

So, this purple coaster is supposed to be on the worst coasters in America. I was literally reading someone’s shit post about it on Reddit on the way there, saying it was the worst coaster they’ve ever ridden, of any style, and I was like OH BOY LET’S GO SPINAL FUSION. Henry decided before even getting there that he would not be joining us on it.

First of all, for anyone not in the coaster know, it’s a Vekoma SLC (suspended looping coaster) and they are so notoriously shitty that it’s actually hilarious. They’re headbangers and backbreakers. Not fun at all. Painful. NO ONE CARES when they get removed from parks, and here’s Lost Island BRINGING ONE to their park.

First, we had to walk past the drop tower and look at the station for it!! Do you see what I mean – this place has their theming game on point and I can’t wait to see what else they do!

OK so we rode it. Every comment on Reddit was like AVOID THE FRONT so we sat in the back and actually that scared me too but you know what? NOT THAT BAD. I mean, not great either, it’s a fucking SLC and the only good one I’ve ever ridden is the Great Nor’Easter at Morey’s Piers (god love Wildwood), but this was not as bad as I was expecting. I wasn’t trying to get a re-ride like the little boys in front of us, but I didn’t mind it.

Henry seemed shocked when we didn’t come limping back to him and instead walked regularly and said “Not that bad” with a shrug. OK LOST ISLAND, I SEE YOU.

YOOOOOO, YOU KNOW I LOVE ME A WACKY WORM!!! We actually did have to wait in line for this one, lol. Henry got to stand with the other dads to take pictures of us.

LOL.

Sorry I was taking this picture into the sun but we walked past some cast members doing a performance. We didn’t watch the whole thing but what I gathered is that each land of Lost Island has their own characters and they were working together to do a thing. It seemed cute.

You guys seriously though, did I mention the theming?

We rode Matugani which was a fun and whippy launch coaster (the launch was expectedly forceful) and fun fact – this was actually removed from our beloved Liseberg to make room for the dive coaster that’s there now so that was fun to get to ride a coaster from there! Henry and Chooch didn’t seem to care about that fun fact though.

The area surrounding the park made me uncomfy. I think that’s what I couldn’t put my finger on – the way it’s so out in the open made it feel less immersive. They need to build like a forest or some faux mountain range around the perimeter so you’re more boxed in and free from the outside world. THAT is what felt off to me. And also the fact that no matter where you stood, you could see across to all the different sections. I’d like to see them continue to develop the landscape portion of the park too so when you enter a new area, you really like you’re in a new place and you can’t see the other lands.

Henry said he just felt like he was out in the desert. I guess I can see that and if we were still in the HEATWAVE PORTION of the trip, I definitely would have FELT that too.

Honestly – the darkride was the sleeper hit of the whole trip though. It was unexpectedly good and I wish we had ridden it more than once, in hindsight. But we were getting HUNGEE and trying to zip through the place so we could go eat.

UGH right before we left (the park was actually closing in about 30 minutes I think), Chooch talked me into riding this and we got SOAKED. Usually these ones aren’t that bad but this one cooked us. I would love to see them add more theming to this one!! Also, again I didn’t like that this was on the perimeter of the park so we could see partially developed land and a small river thing that Chooch was like “what if we’re on this ride but then we end up in the river” and I couldn’t stop thinking about that and it was not something that I was OK with.

LOL my ugg face.

Chooch and I were about to ride whatever the Musik Express ride there is called when an announcement came on throughout the park alerting us that UmmiUmmi was closing in 15 minutes and Henry was like PEACE OUT and came the closest to a light jog than I’ve ever seen him do in effort to get there before his hopes of acquiring a soft pretzel were dashed.

(Oh LOL I just went to the Lost Island website to find the name of the Musik Express and just realized they don’t call them LANDS, you guys, THEY ARE REALMS.)

(P.S. It’s called Zulawa Wave and I distinctly remember that there was no music playing, lol.)

Chooch also rode this thing but I don’t these rides because they frustrate me. I can’t ever get them to flip!

I sent this to my mom and she was like IS HE THE ONLY ONE ON THAT RIDE??? and I was like, “Yes, we were in the middle of Iowa and only 20 other people are here it seems.”

I mean, it WAS a Thursday so maybe the weekends are more crowded I hope?

GUYS PLEASE GO TO LOST ISLAND SO IT CONTINUES TO GROW, OK???

Looking for somewhere to eat dinner, and probably also a hotel.

We left about 30 minutes before the park closed and it made me feel sad. I liked it there and wished we had more time. Oh wait – one thing to note is that their merch is not as cute/cool/quirky as you’d think! They only had one magnet and it does not represent the vibe of the park but I had no choice but to buy it. I was hoping to get a shirt too but they were all kind of ugly :(

Next up: DINNER IN WATERLOO. SEE YOU THERE.

I’m an emotional dumpster fire post-GD concerts and trying to distract myself from that on the drive home today so let’s talk about what we did Saturday!

We planned on spending some time in Jersey City but first we went to the Prudential Center for early merch. Got there right before it opened at 10am and still spent a good 45 minutes waiting but it was worth it to avoid having to wait in the massive lines after doors opened later that night.

I’m embarrassed to say how much I spent on merch but we’ll just say that I could have bought another concert ticket for that price ugh G-Dragon makes me lose all common sense. But I got the US version of tour shirt & hoodie, a hat for Henry and a scarf for my lightstick lol.

In Jersey City, we stopped at Gregory’s Coffee (I think?) because I required caffeine after that merch throwdown. I got a prickly pear matcha which was super refreshing but the overall experience at the cafe was frustrating because the two baristas were fucking off behind the counter, chatting etc and the orders were piling up even though only one person was ahead of us (he had multiple drinks). So that was annoying plus the barista mixed my drink before handing it to me so it lost ALL AESTHETIC VALUE. J/k I was only marginally annoyed by that – it tasted great and that’s all I cared about.

Then we walked along the Hudson and it was such a beautiful day even though Henry took a series of pictures of me that accentuated my mongoloid affliction.

(I deleted those with a flourish, don’t worry.)

This statue was horrifying. Even Henry was like “yikes he should have went AWOL like me.”

I guess this is a thing that tourists are required to photograph so I did my duty.

There was a lot of really cool artwork on display around the walkway and I really enjoyed that.

If you can believe this, Henry and I did not fight once this whole weekend. I mean sure I got annoyed with him at times like when he wandered off with my bag of freebies as I was handing them out and I had to run after him like a stoop. But other than that it was such an all-around perfect weekend – that’s the Power of G-Dragon.

After an hour stroll around the river walk, we drove to Busy Bee’s Organics which started out kind of bad when some broad snatched a seat away from me as I was walking over to put our table number sign on it – the only available seats in the place were three stools at the window. She and her boyfriend hadn’t even ordered yet and GOT TAKE-OUT ON TOP OF THAT so they didn’t even need seats?! Luckily, two ladies were leaving right then so we were able to get their table. Not the biggest deal but sometimes the unawareness of others really baffles me. Like read the room.

Not worth fighting over but I did say in a regular volume voice, “Ok I guess I’m not sitting there, wow.” Like, while looking at her. I sincerely don’t even think she realized??? Total vacancy behind her eyes. So, I moved on with life.

I got a Buddha bowl which I had been craving and this one was perfection. I knew I probably wouldn’t be eating dinner because we had to be in VIP line at 4:30 and I was going to be passing out freebies before that, so I needed something sustainable that also wasn’t going to bother my stomach because EVERYTHING BOTHERS MY STOMACH NOW BEING AN ELDER IS SO FUN. Henry got a pulled mushroom burger and let me try it and it was an effing flavor explosion but had I order that for myself I would have been in a world of hurt during the concert. And my stomach was already gurgling nervously at the thought of seeing G-Dragon even closer that night!!

We got there around 1:30 and after we sat down, that place really started popping off. It’s very small inside and it seems like most ppl just order take out. I would definitely go there again!

After that, we made our way back to Newark and were back at the Prudential Center for night 2 of GD magic!

We’re on our way to Newark right now and I have spent the last however many minutes ranting Henry’s ear off and decided that I need to be fully transparent on here because YOU ALL KNOW HOW I MUCH I LOVED JILLIAN MICHAELS. I have gushed over her on here numerous times over the years.

However, the last few years she started putting out REAL WHACK takes on health and medicine, so I eventually unfollowed her on Instagram because not about that RFK Jr poison pond life.

I would admittedly still do her workouts though – I already own them and actually the one I do the most is pirated so she is making no royalties or anything off me – but after her recent DISGUSTING out of pocket remarks on slavery, I will NEVER do another workout of hers again. I never want to see her face on any screen. She can have the fucking small-minded and pathetic cuckoo MAGA life she voted for.

Biggest Loser FOR REAL.

That is all. You’re dismissed.