Do people still do Wordless Wednesdays in blogland? I was never very good at those things because I just can’t help myself when it comes to splooging words all over the Internet. However, I’m worn out today. Physically exhausted because I’ve got Shaun T and Jillian Michaels tag-teaming me every morning. Mentally exhausted from work and brainstorming cat themes. Emotionally exhausted because the Penguins shit the bed again this year in the Stanley Cup playoffs, but I think we all saw that coming. So here are some pictures that are (mostly) unrelated to the Dance Gavin Show, Chooch’s birthday party, or hanging out with my Michigan peeps (because they deserve a post of their own).

Marcy, watching her garden grow. This is some “strange plants” kit that I bought Chooch for Christmas two years and then he promptly lost in Hoarder Central, aka his bedroom. He accidentally found it the other day and now there’s weird shit growing. I’m excited for some reason!

One of Bill and Jessi’s gifts to Chooch was getting Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance, duh) to give him a shout out on Twitter. One of Gerard’s good friends is a regular at their comic book shop so they asked him if he could make it happen, and HE DID! And then Twitter exploded, haha. Of course, there were all of the kids replying to that, begging for their own birthday shout out (Gerard, I am so sorry!), and then there were all of the retweets and favoriting, and the occasional “Why is an 8-year-old going by the name douche cup?” But the funniest part to me is that now all of these people are following Chooch, who only used twitter once ever, in December 2012, when he said, “There. I tweeted.” He had gotten a Kindle for Xmas that year and I made him a twitter account so that he could talk to Bill, mostly. But he had no interest in it. Anyway, his twitter account is linked to one of my email addresses that I don’t use very often, and it is absolutely stuffed now with notifications of people who are still retweeting, favoriting and following Chooch, five days later. I wonder if people think that Chooch has parents in the music industry. I WISH.

Twitter is so funny.

Side note: the name “douche cup” comes from one time when Bill and Jessi were visiting, I think this was 2009, and Chooch didn’t like the way Bill was putting together a Lego set, so he called Bill a douche cup. There’s a whole book about it!

Anyway, thank you Gerard for making Chooch’s day!

Corey and I went to Coffee Buddha last week (ugh, it’s been one week since the DGD show already!) and I wanted to bathe in my maple curry latte. I wish I had one right now, while watching DGD perform in front of me. Sigh.

I have been obsessed with maple coffee ever since I had it for the first time last June when we visited Alyson in New Hampshire, but I have not had it since. (Thanks for nothing, Peet’s. You motherfucker.) I walked past two of my co-workers talking one night and when one of them mentioned that she was thinking about visiting New Hampshire, I spun around and cried, “THEY HAVE GOOD MAPLE COFFEE!” and then walked away before getting dragged into a conversation. (I needed to go back to my office and listen to the hockey game! Like it really matters now. MORE SIGHS.)

Brookline: Behind the Scenes.

When I was growing up, my dad would always yell “You make a better door than a window!” any time one of us would be blocking the TV. After awhile, it got shortened to “door than a window!” and we would know what he meant. I say this ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME IN MY HOUSE.

Chooch begrudgingly got his Beckham coif re-shaped today by our favorite hair stylist Lucia (Bella Salon on W. Liberty, holla!) in preparation for BACK TO SCHOOL which is next Monday. Summer’s almost over. :(

Taking a little break from “writing” to post some pictures that have been hibernating on my phone. You know the drill.

My awesome friend Kendahl made me this mixtape blanket and it is AMAZING. It’s soft and warm and perfect for my freezing cold office-thing at work. I love it!!

I can’t remember if this was already posted.

But this was after HENRY HUNG UP ON ME a few weeks ago. REALLY, HENRY?! In full disclosure, he actually had to “take the other call,” which I immediately translated as “go fuck my big-bosomed mistress.” He later told me it was the “garage door guy” calling, which I have been running with ever since. For instance, on the way to Chooch’s party, Henry took some crazy back roads and made some remark about “always forgetting that there’s a stop sign there.”

“What, do you drive on this road a lot?” I asked, teenage-snark oozing off my tongue.

“Actually, yes,” he said.

“Oh, is this where the ‘garage door guy’ lives?!” I snapped.

He might as well get that “E” on his ring finger turned into “GDG.

”

OMG IT’S ALMOST LIKE DGD (Dance Gavin Dance)!

This was Chooch’s reaction after he pulled his Ju-On doll out of the box. Then he proceeded to make the Ju-On throat crackle all night.

Slugs.

My favorite cemetery. It’s like my outdoors gym. The upside of doing sit-ups there is that the prospect of zombies shambling behind me makes me do them a lot faster.

UGH I JUST LOVE MARCY SO MUCH.

OK. You’re free to go now.

Henry’s review of the weekend, written entirely in facial expression.

Henry’s mom was discharged from one hospital and then admitted into another a week later. We went to see her on Saturday and she seemed mostly OK, if not extremely irritated to be back in a hospital. (She was discharged last night, most likley prematurely, so please cross your fingers or say a religious spell!

)

Anyway, before we left on Saturday, I made Chooch go into the hospital chapel with me (and not just because I wanted holy souvenirs, really!).

“What, someone left their DIARY here?!” Chooch cried. I explained to him that it was like God’s guest book and he left a little note about his grandma.

I love that he didn’t capitalize “god.”

I took this picture of a nun at an Italian Festival in 2008. It was one of the seredipitous moments that captured what would wind up being—to this day—one of my favorite photos.

Look at that mug! She was so fucking pissed that I took her picture.

Anyway, I gave her a pretty background on Photoshop and then made her into a pendant. I like to think that when she’s around my neck, she’s warding off evil.

Ciao for now.

, originally uploaded by appledale.

This was taken in December 2011 at a Mexican restaurant a few months before my friend Kate suggested doing a Frown of the Day for Henry.

This is a special frown in that it is a PARTIAL. Look at that lip, it’s torn between mirth and disgust!

Chooch painted a close-up of our cat Marcy’s fur for me. I’m really glad he didn’t have me guess what it was supposed to be.

I was kind of on edge yesterday, but really – how can I be in a bad mood when I live with a kid who pulls impromptu faces like this? He’s my motherfucking Valium, you guys.

(Except for when he’s causing me to need motherfucking Valium.)

Found this picture from 2 Easters ago and decided to re-share it because it’s my picture and I can do that OKAY?! I mean, happy Wednesday.

It is so fucking good to have not just these guys, but the sport itself, back on my TV again.

A little blast from the past. Henry likes his weeners like he likes his broads: short n’ fat.

My friend Evonne and I went out to the Quaker Cemetery in Perryopolis Sunday evening. One of the many cool things about Evonne is that she is sensitive to things like spirits, but she doesn’t exploit it like some cheap fortune teller. She has an arsenal of stories to tell about this subject too.

Anyway, I had been wanting to revisit this place for awhile, and Evonne had never been, so we braved the cold rain and the 45 minute drive. I was a complete chicken shit the whole time — would you LOOK at that building!? — but Evonne was all, “No, I’m not feeling anything here.”

Although she did admit that her head hurt every time we went inside the stone building. THAT MUST MEAN SOMETHING!

We went back to her car and did a quick session with the Psychic Circle, which informed that there were in fact spirits in that location, they were evil (but not demons), but that we were safe. Evonne asked the Circle if we would get to experience there that night, and it said no.

She asked me if I wanted to go back in one last time before we left, but the Circle pretty much answered that for me. Evil spirits? No thanks!

Oh my god, it was so gloomy there that night. And of course, now I’m sick.

Morocco 1993. I was so excited to ride a camel. Pretty sure my Aunt Sharon intentionally cut off my head, making this probably the prettiest picture of me ever.

My history with camels suck.

Here is some shit from an old notebook-cum-scrapbook from 1996.

I have no memory of a Steve that I loved. If we went to high school together and you know of this Steve who inspired such block-lettered proclamations, please enlighten me. (Or if you ARE Steve, then heyyyyy buddy, hit a bitch up.)

I REALLY liked Bone Thugs n Harmony.

And Luniz. (My mom had 5 on it, apparently.

)

Lisa and I pretty much kept the Pleasant Hills Denny’s in business. I ate a lifetime worth of caesar salads there and have absolutely no taste for them now.

Lisa probably looked so sad because we weren’t currently listening to one of my famous sex song- and rap-laden mix tapes. I get it, Lisa.

God, I simultaneously hate and miss those days.

After I “ruined his life” on the bumper cars.