We were in the middle of having a holiday party to celebrate South Korea and their food and culture when the Jeju plane crash happened. The irony is not lost on me.

Seeing that news alert come through on my phone was a sickening jolt. It made me feel a real icky type of way to be smack in the middle of a party with Korean food on the table and Kpop videos playing on TV.

South Korea, being an empathetic country, are currently in a seven day mourning period. Entertainment broadcasts and schedules have been postponed or canceled. As such, I am going to wait until the weekend to post about Chingumas 2.0 here and Instagram.

So here are two pictures of Chooch instead. I have been loving having him home and really don’t want to take him back to Philly on Saturday. :(

I got him those pants for Christmas because he’s a college kid so living in PJ pants is now part of who he is.

I made him come downstairs because some of the YouTubers that were on that coaster trip with us OVER A YEAR AGO are still posting content from it so I begged him to watch the latest one with us. He came down but teased Penelope and then did phone stuff the whole time but at least he was sitting with us! It gave me time to pelt him with questions, such as DO YOU LOVE US ARE YOU HAPPY DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHILDHOOD DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY IF SO WILL YOU HAVE KIDS AND TAKE THEM TO LISEBERG* IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD.

Breathe, Erin. Breathe.

*(Liseberg is a theme park in Gothenburg, Sweden and was the YouTube vlog we were currently watching.)

Well, it’s New Years Eve. I think we might start watching Squid Games 2 tonight. T.O.P. formerly of BIGBANG is in it and I want to see him. Also really excited to say goodbye to 2024.

I’m really grateful that Corey offered to host Christmas Eve at his house this year. We put way too much money, time and effort into the planning of Chingumas 2024 and I think doing Christmas on top of that would have broken us. Granted, Henry still spent most of the day cooking but at least we didn’t have to set up and clean too, etc.

Oh!! I forgot to mention that a fucking HAWK came to hang out in the backyard THREE TIMES during the day. It was so maddening and took up a large part of the day, our amateur efforts to chase the fucker away.

Without hurting it, Chooch was pinging the tree branch with pennies from his window and Henry was trying to distract it with a laser pointer while I was trying to make sure he didn’t set his sights on any of the squirrels who were BLATANTLY frolicking around until they finally realized what was going on.

It’s probably a bad thing (ok it is and I know it) but the squirrels have a Pavlovian response to me and immediately started prancing around me thinking I had peanuts. I was HISSING, “Guys, be careful!!! Do you want to die!??”

Aish!! So annoying and stressful!! But Henry eventually scared it off when he tapped the laser pointer against our car – he could tolerate objects cruising past him in the tree but a TAPPING sound was far too much.

Buhbye motherfucker.

Corey’s famous spinach dip! It’s a running joke because this was all he could handle making when he hosted for the first time two years ago and he was sending me (of all people!) frantic text questions from the grocery store like I have a secret Julia Child gene waiting for that precise moment to present itself.

This time, he texted me the day before because he COULDNT FIND THE ORIGINAL RECIPE HE USED BEFORE! Luckily he found a substitute (they’re pretty much all the same though right??!!).

Apparently our dad gave him a wholesale quantity of paper plates so Corey’s been trying to use them up. Hence, these festive day of the dead plates (why did our dad have these in the first place????)

Everything was great! Henry made a vegan shepherds pie which I admittedly thought was just mid that night but in leftover form, it was fantastic. There was some red wine action going on in it and it was like the gift kept on giving as days went on.

My mom made some savory cornbread-ish casserole which was my favorite thing that night. She also brought her famous potato casserole which I loved since I was a wee one but Chooch was like THERE IS HAM IN THIS SUDDENLY and I said NO U MUST BE MISTAKEN SHE WOULD NEVER and Henry was like I CAN CONFIRM THAT SHE PUT HAM IN THIS.

I was lowkey moody about that.

Corey had this non-alcoholic option on hand for Chooch and kept plying him with it. HAVE MORE PUNCH! he kept saying, popping around corners, from under tables, hanging from the rafters with the bottle in hand. Chooch was like “what is the deal with this punch?!” OK, Uncle Jim Jones!

I was trying to go easy on Henry by suggesting that we just buy a pie to bring but after a few days of frustrating searching, he decided to just make a pie after all. Instead of something fancy and outrageous like I usually throw at him, I said he should hat keep it simple and make a sweet potato pie. As he was scrolling through recipes, I yelled, “Stop! Does that say PATTI LABELLES sweet potato pie?! That’s the one.”

Corey is mildly obsessed with the retro footage of Patti Labelle singing at a Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony in the 90s (I can’t remember what it was specifically but the Clintons were there and it was nationally broadcast, so not some podunk town’s festival or anything). She doesn’t know the words, the cue cards aren’t in the right order, she doesn’t have her backup singers and repeatedly yell-sings, “WHERE MY BACKUP SINGERS” – it’s a mess but soooo funny and she actually handles it pretty well considering. I’d have swan-dived off the stage into a nest of electrical equipment if that happened to me.

I want this to happen to Halsey now.

Anyway, Corey really appreciated this!

Conversation during dinner ebbed and flowed – when Corey and I were telling stories, everyone was laughing, but if Corey and I aren’t talking we’d probably go through the entire meal in silence. I eventually started peppering our brother Ryan with questions about Las Vegas (he goes A LOT and his trips are next level, is all I’m saying) and once you get Ryan talking, all is well.

But it does make me sad. I shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable around my family especially since we were all relatively close when I was growing up, but I just kind of feel that no one really cares about my life, what I do, etc. and you know, it is what it is.

Chooch found an old receipt for a picture that was taken somewhere in the pocket of this coat that I haven’t worn in years – we spent entirely too much time that night fixating on it and googling, but chooch and Henry came to the conclusion that it must have been from Dutch Wonderland when we went there in 2010.

What a seriously lame mystery.

Then me, Corey, Chooch and Henry played … Ugh I forget the name of it but it’s like the commercially packaged version of the lip reading game that Kpop idols always play. Henry and I were a team and we killed it – Henry is obviously really good at reading lips because he can barely hear but I think I’m just naturally good at everything in general, as expected. Just that I was born that way, you know.

Then the three of them played Scattergories. I retired from this game because when you always win at something, it gets old. You probably don’t know what that feels like but trust my word ok.

Apparently, Chooch has learned a lot from me because his answers were so questionable that I had to step in as a judge numerous times. Then Henry went to the bathroom and they didn’t want to wait so I was tapped in as his substitute and immediately blew Corey and Chooch out of the water, you’re welcome for the victory, Henry.

Afterward, Chooch began rifling through old historical answers that were still in the box and he goes, “oh this HAS to be one of yours” as he read off hysterical and alliterational made-up answers.

“No wonder people don’t want to play this with you anymore,” he said. Whoa whoa whoa where did he hear that from?!

(My mom brought a bag of old pictures over from her house and that’s what Ryan was doing in the background while my mom was watching TikTok videos or something probably.)

Apparently Chooch is really into the Seahawks?! When Ryan asked me a few weeks ago what he could get him, I was like “he’s randomly into the Seahawks for some reason” and Ryan was like, “the SEATTLE Seahawks? That is random but ok” and then proceeded to gift him a Seahawks starter set basically lol.

Corey got me this candle (lol) and I got him a “now-playing” sweatshirt with Avril Lavine’s I’m With You on it because that’s another thing he’s obsessed with and he sends me reels about it every now and then (it was more like “very frequently” there for a while lol).

And I got Ryan a set of pint glasses that have the street grid of Las Vegas engraved in it.

Ryan got me a bunch of Erin-centric thing including this balloon dog sculpture which is one of those things that I always say “ooh I want that!” when I see it in online shops but I never buy it for myself. Anyway, I was dying when we came home and put it on the beverage buffet because I realized just how perfectly placed it really is:

And that pretty much wraps up Xmas Eve! It hit me later on that this might be the last Christmas in this form for a while because next year, Chooch will be doing his co-op and he won’t get a traditional Christmas break. Whether he gets just Xmas Day, or also Xmas Eve, etc will be dependent upon the company his co-op will be at. So we might be going to Philly to spend Christmas with him there next year. Who knows.

Ch-ch-ch-changes. I can’t stand it.

The last several years, my brother Corey has been gung-ho about the Kelly sibs recreating old pictures. It sucks for me because Corey was born in 1990, at the height of my UG YEARS, so I look like trash in most of these pictures, but I still go along with it because that’s….that’s just the type of loving, supportive sister that I am!

Last year, I suggested a Santa picture for us to recreate, with Henry as Santa. I think Corey was utterly uncomfortable with the idea of sitting on Henry’s lap, so my suggestion was just kind of glossed over. This year though, Corey was like SHIT WE DIDN’T CHOOSE A PICTURE.

“Hear me out,” I said, which is usually the prelude to something sinister when coming from me. “We use that same Santa one I suggested last year, but CHOOCH will be Santa.”

Corey loved it.

Ryan was like, “I will do whatever you freaks say, just leave me alone for the rest of the year.” I mean, he didn’t say that but it was implied. I’m good at interpreting.

“Just so you know, you’re helping us with this year’s picture,” I said to Chooch earlier in the day on Christmas Eve.

“Yeah I know, I always take the picture,” he said.

“No….I mean, this time—”

“Don’t tell me I have to be Santa or something,” he sighed.

DING DANG DONG!

Here he is getting into the Kris Kringle zone while we were waiting for Ryan who we feared was about to pull a runner when we heard the front door open and close.

The Picture.

“You have to put your hands on my hips!” Corey scream-laughed while Chooch just looked like your typical apathetic 18 year old, like he was about to look at the imaginary TV documentary crew and say, “I came home from college for this.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Erin Appledale (@ohhonestlyerin)

Thank god for the “live” feature on photos because Corey’s laughter was the best part!

We also did this one, which was much easier even though they were originally on the wrong sides of me so we had to do a quick re-do right as Ryan was trying to flee the scene:

Ryan was like, “Jesus, your shoulder is low” lol.

And then a normal one!

Merry Christmas from us dumbos over here in Pittsburgh! It’s definitely been a weird one, not bad by any means, but with Chooch being a college kid now, the unwrapping of presents is kind of anticlimactic. Most of what we got him he’s either already received, it’s in the mail, or I’m just giving him my credit card to get himself after Christmas. He seems fine with it – he’s never been a bratty kid when it comes to things like that (unlike me LOL) and it’s just been nice having him home.

We did the whole Christmas Eve shebang at Corey’s with my mom and brother Ryan, so I’ll recap that here soon too – it was nice and we laughed A LOT.

Today, we went to Pink Box to get our traditional Asian buns, went to Homewood Cemetery where I had a mild fit because there were SO MANY people there strolling about and the spot where it’s most convenient for me to set up my tripod was a veritable hotbed of activity. I was getting snippy about it but it somehow, miracle of miracles, didn’t progress any further from a small, quick spark of irritation. Therapy. LOL.

So, we ended up going to our OG Christmas Cem spot – Uniondale on the Northside. It’s been a minute since we were there (Henry pointed out to Chooch where I wrecked the car in 2022 and blamed on him hahah) and it was nice. Chooch, suddenly into football, was glad because it’s on a hill above Heinz Field (get the fuck outta here with that new name, I refuse) so he was able to hear the Steelers game in person. Suddenly, he was OK with cemetery pictures.

Dude, I just really love my dumb little family and will grasp any opportunity for a family photo!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Erin Appledale (@ohhonestlyerin)

OK let’s put a fork in this Jingle Ball series – it’s been exactly two weeks since we were there at this point! I just want to say that I was extremely comforted by the amount of NCT lightsticks (and even some Monsta X ones!) that were dotting the crowd. I had been so nervous about attending a mostly non-Kpop concert, wondering what the fans were going to be like, if there would be assholes around me mocking the Kpop performers in the line-up. I can’t speak for the rest of the arena, but at least in our section we seemed to be buffeted by lots of Kpop stans. Some arrogant looking white men as well, but I didn’t hear anything derogatory from their mouths polluting the air.

YOU GUYS, MOTHERFUCKING WONHO. While I have always liked Monsta X and was gutted when Wonho stepped away in order to protect the group’s name when he was being investigated for some bogus drug allegation (spoiler: he was cleared, but now without a group), I truly think that Wonho absolutely shines as a solo artist. I can say without hesitation that I stan him harder as a soloist than I ever stanned Monsta X. He is talented, has a great personality, and more than enough charisma to hold his own out there.

I still remember the EXACT MOMENT I heard his single “Losing You” – it was in August 2020 when we dared to take a safe, masked day trip to Erie. This song came on the kpop Spotify playlist we had on in the car and I spontaneously burst into tears. I had to immediately look to see who it was and have been a Wonho solo stan (a Wenee!) ever since.

I knew he likely wouldn’t perform this at Jingle Ball because it’s kind of a downer lol, but he did sing my second favorite – Ain’t About You – and I was soooo stoked!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Erin Appledale (@ohhonestlyerin)

You guys, I was SWEATING. It was worth every penny to get to see Wonho in the flesh, perform 4 songs. Take me back! And apparently, he was QUITE popular with the I Heart Radio people too as evidenced by the extra love he was given on their Instagram, lol. They are STILL posting about him!

NCT Dream was fourth, and I was READY! Especially after that juicy Wonho appetizer! (That was gross, apologies.)

Oh, my faves. My 7Dream. Renjun is BACK. It was so sad to see them perform on their Dreamscape tour last September without him, and to be honest, since he came back from hiatus last month, I have been very skeptical of his health and have watched him like a hawk because I’m a psycho kpop mom, I dunno, it’s weird but I genuinely care about him and his lack of stability and well-being has been so troublesome. He looked, to me, not ready to be back but by the time Jingle Ball rolled around, he….OK he still appeared to be somewhat of a shell of himself but getting better. And now that they’re back in Korea, he’s been looking even more himself and less like a zombie. I don’t know if he’s on medication, something for anxiety, or what, but in some of the videos I watched from the European leg of their tour after the US one, he looked like he was going off of muscle memory and kind of just stood there in between songs.

Which is why I wish people would be mindful of the fact that music artists and celebrities are people too and just because you CAN say hateful things about them on the Internet, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Particularly with Kpop artists, a large part of their job requires them to regularly interact with fans on social media platforms, fan meets, fan calls, etc. Words fucking matter. And these agencies do fuck all to actually protect their artists from this fucked up abuse and bullying.

It enrages me, honestly.

But yeah, I screamed the loudest for his parts. Renjun forever.

I could listen to the last 20 seconds of this song over and over and over – you can ask Henry. I will SHUSH him with vigor if he deigns to speak over this part.

Also, I was so excited to see them perform their new song, which came out after I saw them in September!

The other night, Janna gave me a heads up that some of the Jingle Ball performances were being televised on ABC and she recorded NCT Dream for me on her phone, lol. I did find it on YouTube though! This must have been from the LA show:

I felt so good after this. Yes, it was only 4 songs – was it ridiculous to drive to Detroit for 4 songs? Nope. Worth every single penny. Because in addition to Jingle Ball, we just genuinely had a really good time away together. It was like a reset. I have been so far from myself this past year, and even worse after Drew died, that it was driving a wedge between Henry and me. Like, congratulations, you finally got married after 23 years, but now here’s all this uncontrollable stress and grief for you to wade through. Good luck, newlyweds!

Therapy, kpop, and Henry’s unwavering patience have been getting me through this, so while the Jingle Ball might seem like the antithesis of everything I stand for (American Top 40 is mostly a no for me, fam!), this ended up being a pivotal moment in my journey to getting better. Thank you, Wonho. Thank you, NCT Dream. Thank you, Henry.

Drama on Pioneer

(Copy-pasta’d from my text messages to my brother because it’s over a week at this point and I have blog apathy.)

Around 630 I was exercising and someone KICKED THE DOOR OPEN really hard – I have boxes behind the door with Christmas stuff for goodwill and the door opened so forcibly that it smashed the boxes.

Corey: OMG???

I thought it was chooch coming home and being his typical dick self so I yelled WTF in my mom voice. Went outside and no one was there.

Henry was in the basement and came running upstairs to see what it was bc he heard it so he went outside to look and was asking our neighbors with the dog Zeus if they saw anyway bc their door is always open but they didn’t. So then Henry called HNC and they were like prowling around together out there like real American heroes but didn’t see anyone. HNC said he heard noises in the backyard a little bit later and they both went out again. HENRY WAS WEARING HIS HEADLAMP THING LIKE A DORK.

Hours went by and nothing was going on. Then around 9pmI was upstairs in the bathroom snd I heard commotion in the driveway. I thought it was HNC throwing his garbage out and didn’t think anything of it. THEN HNC’S WIFE CALLED ME

Corey: OMG!!

Apparently someone was also kicking her door!!!!! So she called the police. Meanwhile Henry turned on the police scanner because he’s That Guy and the dispatcher was in the middle of profiling a group of 6 kids.

HNC’S WIFE sent the cops here!! I AM DRUNKISH?! And had to give a statement lol

Henry said I was slurring and was embarrassed. Anyway it’s apparently kids and the cops have gotten a bunch of calls. They said I probably really scared them when my door was actually opened. I was like “man they were fast!!!” Then they told me to lock the door and left lol. It actually was very scary though when that happened because my door came FLYING open. I was like “I was just hoping it was a Friday the 13th thing” and they were like “yeah, that’s exactly what it is” and they seemed so annoyed to be dealing with this lol.

My favorite part was when HNC’S WIFE called and said NOW I HAVE TO PUT MY ROBE ON like it was my fault when she was the one who called the effing police!!!

Henry was pissed because I went right back to exercising after seeing no one was on the porch. He was like are you kidding me?? Maybe they got scared because they saw I had weights in my hands haha.

A Sad Saturday

The husband of one of my co-workers recently passed away so I went to the funeral home last Saturday for the viewing. Wendy and Sue were also there, thank God, because I am so fucking worthless in these situations. I just smile sadly, nod, and quietly repeat what everyone else is saying.

Of course it was unbearably sad. I am not close with this co-worker – she moved to our department during the pandemic so we had to train her virtually which is not great. And then when I was going into the office every Tuesday, I would see her then and we would chat a bit. But I still felt as though I should show my support in person. I’m glad that I went and got to see her, but it made me extremely clingy to Henry for the rest of the weekend and I am currently still in the throes of a mortality crisis.

Later that night, Henry and I went to the movie theater in Robinson to see the “live broadcast” of Seventeen’s concert in Osaka. It was being broadcast in 1500 theaters across 64 countries so I think in some places, it actually was “live.” But for us, it was about 12 hours after the fact. It was still really cool though because Seventeen acknowledged the fact that this particular concert was being recorded / livestreamed so it felt super meta every time they added “and the Carats watching in the movie theaters.”

It was essentially the same concert / setlist that we saw when they were touring the US but their Asian concerts are on such a larger scale, with a full band, etc. Plus, they performed their new Japanese single and I sat there with big fat tears rolling down my cheeks.

Not Henry pouting because he wasn’t the only Kpop Dad in the theater haha.

The only bad thing about this evening was that there were two girls and a mom at the other end of our row and the one girl NEVER STOPPED TALKING AND GIGGLING through the whole thing. I could hear her over top of everything and it was so rude and obnoxious. First of all, these tickets were $20 a person (am I just old or is that A LOT for a movie theater??) so kindly STFU. Her cackling was going right through me. What could she POSSIBLY have to talk about throughout the whole 3.5 hours of this?! TAKE A BREAK, KID.

I’m really glad that we went to this. We both love Seventeen so much – yes, Henry too. I was annoyed when I came out of the bathroom afterward because I caught the tail end of a conversation he was having with some girl who was also there for the Seventeen concert broadcast thing and she apparently called him a “trooper” for “sitting through the whole thing” and instead of being like, “I like Seventeen too” he played the exhausted martyr card by saying, “Oh, this isn’t even the worst I’ve done for kpop” or something. Ugh.

Sunday Is For Housework

Henry finally finished patching the giant hole that we’ve had in our ceiling since 2019, you know the one that our slumlord ignores even though he has seen it in person when he walked through our house WITH AN INSPECTOR a few years ago.

We were going to try to buy a house once Chooch left for college but our financial situation with that changed considerably so now I believe we will die in this rental duplex.

It is what it is, as they say.

The rest of Sunday was full of quality time with Penelope and counting down the minutes until the VIP packages for Taemin’s upcoming US tour went on sale.

^^^ This was basically me after spending almost 2 hours in a queue, KNOWING FULL WELL that everything was going to be sold out, but seeing it out to the end because I felt so invested at that point.

It was such a cluster. Taemin fans across the country (and in Europe too) have been so pissed about how this tour is being handled. Taemin left his original agency (SM Entertainment – one of the “big 3” agencies in Korea) for a very small company and I think they grossly underestimated his popularity outside of Korea. I also am trying to be understanding of the fact that they don’t have the same kind of $$$$$$ to throw into a world tour but damn, it’s been a terrible experience so far.

“Oh no,” Chooch monotoned when I told him I didn’t get VIP. “Now Taemin won’t glance at you.”

(One of the perks is the ability to “wave and make eye contact with the artist from a close distance” LOL.)

Well, that’s a recap of the main events from last weekend. Oh!! And I watched the new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie – “Our Little Secret” – on Netflix, lol. It was cute and helped calm my “impending VIP cluster” nerves.

You guys. I never thought I would say this, as someone who was so firmly mired in the post-hardcore / Warped Tour / goth scene for so many years, but Henry and I attended the IHeartRadio Jingle Ball in Detroit and had a fantastic time!

Granted, we only went because not only was NCT Dream performing with Renjun who has returned from hiatus (he sat out the US tour they recently did in September and he is my Dream bias, so I was bummed about that) but Wonho, formerly of Monsta X and currently a fabulous solo artist was also going to be there! His first time in the US without Monsta X! Henry knew before I even told him that we were going to be attending our first Jingle Ball because of this.

Aside from Jason Derulo, I didn’t know any of the western artists on the Detroit line up (the line up varies by cities and we very luckily dodged a MEGHAN TRAINOR bullet, as she is appearing at several of the dates) but I didn’t care. I figured we’d stay for Wonho and NCT Dream and then leave.

But then, we were having such a good time, our seats were fantastic, there were no apparent dickheads around us, so I decided that we should stay for the whole thing. We paid enough $$$ for the seats, and if we left early, we’d probably just end up sitting in the hotel room watching Friends reruns.

I will write about Wonho and NCT Dream separately. In this post, I want to just talk about the other artists and how, while a bit of a culture shock to see western pop artists perform (LOL culture shock like I’m not actually American, I’m so fucking annoying even to myself, don’t worry guys – we share the same opinion about this blogger).

The lineup, in order from opening to headliner:

1. Isabel LaRosa
2. Wonho <3
3. Madison Beer
4. NCT Dream <3
5. Jason Derulo
6. Saweetie
7. Teddy Swims
8. Jack Harlow

First of all, the show stared PROMPTLY at 7:30. It was actually borderline jarring because the lights went out and then Isabel walked on stage to the backdrop of thumping bass. I thought this would be like K-Con where there’d be an MC or something that came out first to do their spiel. They did in fact have the local Top 40 radio DJs there, but they came out after Isabel’s set, which…I honestly thoroughly enjoyed. It was definitely giving “sex scene in a student-made horror film that we would have rented from Incredibly Strange Video circa 2002”, that is to say: SEEDY, SLEAZY, CREEPY.

At one point, her hockey jersey came off and she performed the rest of her 4 song set in just a tiny bra and shorts. It was something.

She has a song about “wanting someone older” and the music video for it played on the screen behind her. It of course showed her at a school and her costar was A TEACHER.

“It’s your favorite trope,” I shouted in Henry’s ear and he frowned so hard. He hated all the inappropriate, statutory rapey relationships that peppered the TV series Pretty Little Liars, which we used to watch together, particularly a main story line that involved one of the Liars and her ENGLISH TEACHER. Hooo boy, did that boil Henry’s blood, lol.

(Speaking of, the English teacher was recently in a Netflix Christmas movie with Lindsay Lohan and his girlfriend in that movie was also much younger and there were some “jokes” about that which made Henry frown in disappointment all over again haha.)

Also, I really liked that it was just her and her guitarist on stage. It was minimalistic and somehow still so loud and unnerving.

The more I thought about in the days after Jingle Ball, the more I realized how much I liked this (???) and that it sort of reminded me of the metal-adjacent female-fronted stuff I used to listen to in the early 00s.

Then came Madison Beer after Wonho. I knew A LITTLE about her, like the fact that Justin Bieber made her go viral when she was just 13 and he reposted a video of her singing. And that she was one of the voices for some League of Legends virtual group called K/DA, along with some other broad and two of the (G)-Idle members. So, she’s played a minor role in the kpop realm!

I was SHOCKED by her though because she clearly can SANG and her voice actually had somewhat of an old-fashioned sound to it that I truly appreciated because I’m so tired of these pop girls singing in their fake breathy baby voices a la Halsey.

Did she make me uncomfortable at times? Oh, you know it. Her performance was also sexually-charged but I guess that’s just always been the nature of American pop and I’m so out of the loop that it was like sugar shock.

I guess this song was nominated for a Grammy. I REALLY liked it live, but then later when I watched the video, I didn’t like it as much. But it really works so well as a live performance – I had never heard the song before but when it started, I was fully invested and borderline obsessed. It was dark and thumpy.

I do really appreciate the Jennifer’s Body theme of the music video though, and Jesus Christ she could be Megan Fox’s sister, seriously.

I don’t think Jason Derulo needs any intro! I was seriously shocked that he wasn’t headlining though, because out of everyone, he’s been around the longest and is arguably the most well-known. His set was really energetic and dance-y, and he did a medley of some of his most popular songs too since everyone was really only allotted enough time  to perform 4 songs – he found the loophole lol.

It was during this set though when it occurred to me that it really felt like being in a giant strip club – all of the performances so far (with the exception of NCT Dream, but also even Wonho to an extent lol) were just like living, gyrating, pelvic thrusting billboards for SEX! SEX! SEX! and the only thing missing was poles, honestly. It was entertaining but I think I am officially of the age where I was thankful I didn’t have a young kid in attendance with me.

I’m pretty sure a large portion of the crowd left after Jason.

Then came Saweetie. I didn’t take any pictures of her and my review will be short & s(a)weet(ie):

She is SO BEAUTIFUL. She looked amazing in her adorable little Christmas outfit.

Her DJ was repetitive and annoying.

I guess this is what girl rap sounds like now? Sort of….not rapping, no flow? I was bored with her set (when she was pretending to straddle and ride an imaginary “Big big Santa” was pretty fun though haha) – I grew up on DaBrat and Foxxy Brown so that’s my bar, I guess. Again, just basing this on what I saw that night – I haven’t listened to her in any other context aside from the song she did with IVE last year (which is the only reason I even know who she is).

Teddy Swims was really good but I could never sit through an entire concert of his, I don’t think. All of his songs blended together and I couldn’t stop laughing because he reminded me so much of Christina.

Also, and this pains me to admit but I said it out loud later that night when we were walking back to the hotel, but I still think that the best male singer in North America, maybe even all of the western world, is fucking Jonny Craig. UGH. This Teddy Swims guy has A Voice, but he’s no Jonny Craig. It’s sad because if Jonny hadn’t made such poor life decisions, he could be a household name at this point and not still playing at tiny hole in the wall clubs in his 40s.

But yeah, enjoyed Teddy Swims more than I expected (when I looked up him prior to this and saw the genres he was known for, I scoffed, “YEAH NO I’M NOT GONNA LIKE THIS DOUCHEBAG.”) and at least I can admit this!?

Jack Harlow – whose name I knew but knew nothing else – was the last to perform. He came strutting out on stage alone in chinos and a fucking fitted black sweater like he just left his cubicle in the IT Dept. And then he started….rapping? Is that what that was? I have no idea but all I could think was, “Who the fuck is this white nerd?” You guys, I didn’t like him at all. Henry didn’t either. We were both pulling stank-face until I threw in the towel after two….songs? Whatever you want to call it. I turned to Henry and said, “Yeah, I’m ready to go if you are” and he was like, “TWIST MY ARM” as he practically pushed me out of my seat and into the aisle in his eagerness to never have to hear Jack Harlow again.

(When we were walking up the steps to leave our section, Jack was in the middle of talking to the audience and even that was getting on my nerves. “Oh boy and he’s a talker,” I mumbled and Henry made the “Pffft” sound in agreement with me because Henry always agrees with me unless I‘m pulling a runner at the eye doctor and then suddenly he’s dying on the Bittel Vision hill.)

We had a pleasant walk back to the hotel – there were cops at every intersection so we felt safe to be walking the several blocks back rather than take the hotel shuttle which Henry asked SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT at the hotel for us to just not bother using it lololol. Then we hit up the vending machines before going back to the room and I was SHOCKED that there was nary a Faygo in sight. Detroit!!

Oh, we also walked around the casino a few times because I thought I had seen a sign for gelato in one of our earlier strolls and it made me laugh that we had made at least 4 laps around the whole casino throughout the day and didn’t even consider to pull a lever on a machine. My brother Ryan, a huge Vegas aficionado, would have SHUDDERED TO THINK.

Ugh, I had an eye appointment after work yesterday. I used to go to one of those shopping center eye chains and I swear the doctor I had there was 18, it was so concerning. Like she got her license from the back of matchbook. I hated the broad in the front of the place though, the one in charge of upselling frames, etc. She reminded me so much of this drag of human being named Brenna that I used to know from LiveJournal. So then I tried going to one of their other locations and was called “kelly” the entire time even after pointing out that my name was “Erin” and receiving an empty apology.

So, then Henry was like, “I found a real eye doctor that we can all go to as a family” (see Monday’s post re: Chooch going to the eye doctor alone and blaming me for his forgetting the insurance and HSA cards). I’ve only been there once so far, in 2023, and it was fine but I’m positive my prescription was wrong. So, there’s that.

The appointment was scheduled for 6pm and they tell you to get there 15 minutes early SO I DID because if people remember one thing about me when I die, let it be that I was punctual to a compulsion. (OK, let it be something cooler and more impressive than that, but still.)

Henry drove me because I had taken my contacts out at home so I wouldn’t have to fuck around with that there, and I literally cannot drive in glasses. I can barely walk down the steps in them. In fact, it had been so long that I wore my glasses (probably April when we were flying home from Korea!?) that I was screaming, “DO MY LEGS ALWAYS LOOK THIS SHORT AND SQUAT???” while Henry was holding my hand as I slowly descended the steps in the house.

I hate hate hate the eye doctor. I get performance anxiety so bad! What is the right answer?! Better or worse?! Or the same?! I legit cannot tell!! It’s nearly 2025 – why do I have to tell THEM?? Can’t a compute just show them how my eyes are seeing the stupid farmhouse in the picture?! I can’t handle it. And as such, my prescription is never correct. I can see but not well. I always have to ask Henry, “What does that say?” when we’re watching TV and it shows like, I dunno, the texts on someone’s phone.

(Luckily, I can still handle the size of subtitles.)

Arriving 15 minutes early like the good, clock-abiding citizen that I am, I walked inside on trembling fawn legs, filled out the required paperwork, and then sat with my legs crossed ultra-tight to suppress the nervous pee sensation.

It was freezing in there and I made sure to text Henry about this numerous times. There was a space heater but some old man was hogging it. He got called back soon after so I moved over to his seat and realized that maybe it wasn’t a space heater after all but an air purifier? I don’t know, but it emitted no heat whatsoever.

I was alone in the drab waiting room (it is like a free clinic in there, if you know what I mean) and no music was playing, even. WHERE IS THE SOFT ROCK, BITTEL VISION FAMILY??

“They still haven’t called me back yet,” I texted Henry with frozen fingers.

“It literally just turned 6:00,” was Henry’s response, and I could already sense that he was changing into his knight’s armor in the car.

Then it was 6:o6 so I made sure to let Henry know that they were officially late.

In all of my eye doctor appointed-spare time, I watched some IG reels with the volume off.

Then, thanks to targeted ads, I started thinking of all the things that I needed Henry to buy for me. Like vitamins.

“Order my vitamins.”
“I can feel myself declining.”
“Since you have been depriving me of them.”

After what seemed like a fortnight, it was now 6:15. I had been sitting there for 30 minutes at this point, with no one popping by to say, “Sorry we’re running a bit behind! Be with you soon!” Had they had the courtesy to check in with me, I wouldn’t have been silently turning into a time bomb in their dirty, ugly waiting room. I started to get the shakes, like I was ready to tear off my skin and show the world my inner Karenwolf, baying at the manager.

I texted Henry: “I’m going to leave.”

Even I didn’t know at the time if I was bluffing or not, but the longer I stewed in the BITTEL VISION inefficiency, the more my blood was boiling and I was starting to picture myself with a “Plus Eight” coif. Could I pull it off?

I could hear the raucous laughter of men down the hall, behind closed doors. Presumably THE BITTELS. This made me even angrier. These assholes were back there yukking it up while I was being robbed of my VERY IMPORTANT TIME.

So I did it. I wasn’t a Karen about it. I didn’t stomp my feet and yell about the unfairness of it all. I didn’t shove the door open angrily on my way out. I just simply got up and quietly left.

Then RAN TO THE CAR.

“Are you fucking serious?” Henry asked as I threw myself in the car like I was being tackled from behind by the eye doctor himself.

Henry, who by this point had finished polishing his feather-topped helmet, white-knighted them the whole way home.

“You have to wait at all doctors! It’s not just them!” he cried.

“It’s the fact that no one came out and apologized for the delay!” I countered. “If the receptionist had bothered to open her stupid privacy window and acknowledge that I had been LEFT TO DIE OUT THERE, I would have gladly continued to wait! BY THE WAY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE ARE!”

Also, this was DURING PRIME DINNER TIME. I HAD DELAYED MY EVENING FEEDING FOR THESE PEOPLE TO DICK ME AROUND.

(We were at a red light at an intersection and since I had glasses on, all I could see was BOKEH and my eyes were crossing.)

“And I don’t know why you’re such a Bittel stan, they fucked your glasses up last time!” I cried, unwillingly to move on.

“Yeah, and then they fixed it,” Henry said calmly.

“A GOOD EYE DOCTOR WOULDN’T HAVE MESSED IT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!” I wheezed while clutching my chest.

We drove a bit in silence and then I started reading their reviews on Yelp. “They got shitty reviews, by the way,” I said in my patented, “JUST SO YOU KNOW” teenage lilt.

Then I said I was just going to go back to my old-old eye doctor down the street.

“You stopped going to him because he called you a crackhead!” Henry said.

“Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I’ve moved on from that, and he was really old then so maybe someone has succeeded him by this point.” You never know.

(He called me a crackhead because I was being neurotic as usual and self-diagnosing myself with obscure eye conditions.)

We came home and I immediately started chewing Chooch’s ear off about my mistreatment while Henry stood there with a smirk-frown on his face, waiting for his chance to white knight some more.

“OMG! Go take a bullet for the Bittels, for Christ’s sake!” I screamed. Chooch just shook his head and retreated to his room while CHUCKLING. Great, laugh at your mother’s trauma.

Eventually, Henry apologized to me for taking the side of the BITTELS.

I accepted his apology, but a few minutes later, I started giggling to myself. “Wanna know something funny?” I asked Henry, whose face immediately drained of color.

“WHAT. WHAT DID YOU DO.”

“Well, as I was walking out the door of the eye doctors—-”

“They fucking called your name, didn’t they?” Henry sighed in disappointment.

“Yeah, someone was totally walking down the hall calling my name,” I laughed. “But it was too late! I couldn’t turn around at that point! I had to stay committed to the cause.”

“omg,” Henry muttered.

———————

Later that night,  Henry and I were sharing a beer.  “That’s pretty good, I like it,” Henry said innocently.

“It’s no BITTEL VISION though!” I shouted mockingly and he floated out of the room on the pillowy bed of his deep sigh.

Seven years ago today, I woke up and looked at my phone as is the A.M. tradition for all of us in the 21st century. The first thing I saw was a news alert from Korean media saying that Jonghyun of SHINee had been found unresponsive in his apartment and rushed to the hospital. I remember thinking that no, this was wrong. It must be someone else. But as I got ready for work, I continued to check my phone until the news eventually broke that he had died.

I still feel the same way about this as I did that morning. Sick. Gutted. Devastated. This was the one celebrity death that really took me out and continues to upset me. Knowing that he felt that he had nothing else to give, couldn’t hold any longer while being the source of happiness for millions of people. Depression is such a silent killer – on some levels, I have felt similarly and knowing that he felt this way and worse breaks me. He was such a talented and bright light for so many people – I wish that could have provided him the hope that he needed.

Today always serves as a reminder to me to just be nice. Ask your friends and family how they are doing. Take time out of your day to really listen. You never know who around you are quietly suffering inside. <3

• “There’s nothing to eat in this house.” x26278344 throughout the day.
• Walking into the kitchen in the morning to a sink full of dirty dishes even though “there’s nothing to eat in this house.”
• Towels all over the bathroom floor.
• Globs of toothpaste in the sink.
• “I’m bored.” x1728383949 throughout the day.
• Maniacal laughter and screaming well into the night as he plays his dumb computer games with his friends.
• Household expenses ⬆️.
• “I want….” x373848484 throughout the day.
• “I need….” x383849494 throughout the day.
• Annoying YouTube videos featuring grown men screaming playing in the background while I’m working.
• “There’s nothing to do.” x9992827737 throughout the day.
• The rise in my blood pressure when he has an eye appt and I give him my insurance and HSA card and he OF COURSE leaves the house without it and then texts me angrily from the doctor demanding me to “take a picture of the insurance card” so I do and then I go back to work and about 30 minutes later he texts again this time needing my HSA card # and because it took me a whopping 10 seconds to retrieve the card, he then texts THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. Well yeah and good for the doof who WAS PROVIDED BOTH CARDS IN ADVANCE BY A RESPONSIBLE PARENT yet STILL LEFT WITHOUT BOTH.
• A text sarcastically thanking me for not telling him some road is one lane due to construction.
• Being in the middle of writing a work email while a rant about “and why did I have to pay anything anyway, isn’t that what insurance is for?!” is being tossed around behind me. Welcome to America, sonny boy. (It was a $10 copay but still, he was S H O C K E D by this.)
• Being told throughout the day that everything I do, say, an(d like is dumb like it’s my life’s theme song (omg is this how Henry feels lol).

But other than that, it’s been so nice having him home! 😆

Mark Lee from my fave NCT just released another solo today with the AMAZING Lee YoungJi. It has killed me dead. Mark is so underrated and should be a universal household name.

But yeah honestly can you guys let him rest, SM? He just finished an international tour with NCT Dream, got literally mobbed in NYC, flew back to Korea in time to perform at the end of the year shows, is going to be recording another NCT Dream album, has an NCT127 tour in March…and this is just what I know off the top of my head, I’m not his freaking manager.

But maybe I should be.

Earlier today, I was trying to get Henry to show off his Seventeen member knowledge to Chooch and he refused.

“Then I’m not talking to you for the rest of the day!” I cried.

“Can you not talk to me too?” Chooch asked with faux enthusiasm.

Just in case you were wondering how “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is working out for our family.

Somehow, some way, I had good luck on this Friday the 13th and managed to get tickets to TAEMIN’S FIRST US SOLO TOUR.

The venues for this tour were only just announced the other day and when Henry showed me, I felt instantly sick. I already knew there were only going to be 5 cities, but out of those 5 cities, 4 of the shows are being held in theaters with capacities between 3,000 and 3,800.

For Taemin.

Of course, LA’s is the KIA Forum which holds 17,000 so it was less of a bloodbath for them I imagine.

Tickets for the NYC show were being sold fire through the theater’s website, so our strategy was that Henry would try for that at work while Chooch (who arrived home last night via Amtrak and has been bitching up a storm ever since) and I would try for Chicago.

CHOOCH WAS BASICALLY NO HELP. He just stressed me out even more because he woke up at the very last minute, came downstairs in a huff, spat, “WHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO AGAIN??” and then put on some loud, screamy YouTube channel.

THEN right when it was time to enter the waiting room, TICKETMASTER WAS ALL, “HAHAHA WAIT UP WE NEED YOU TO CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD JUST FOR FUNSIES EVEN THO WE JUST MADE U DO THIS 2 WEEKS AGO TOO ISNT THIS IS A FUN GAME?”

I was SEETHING.

The same thing happened to Chooch.

But then, miracles of miracles, when I was put in the queue, there were only 600 ppl ahead of me??!!

“Well, there are like 5000 ahead of me, so no use in me trying, bye” Chooch said as he DITCHED ME! Super big help.

AND THEN I GOT IN and was able to actually get decent seats before the dynamic pricing entered the chat?! What sorcery…??

The way I was shaking. The way my Fitbit was like “hello rapid heart beat detected are you having a heart attack?” The way I burst into tears when the “you got the tickets!” image popped up on the screen.

Taemin has been my #2 ult bias since 2017. He has brought so much joy into my life. I sit next to a cardboard cutout of him everyday when I’m working at my home desk. He is so brilliant, my dream idol, a source of so much of my happiness. And now I will get to see him in Chicago in two mths.

I can’t even believe it. I feel so grateful.

Meanwhile I had the NY theater’s website open and I was 8000 in the queue with a wait time of over an hour. For fun, I let that play out and of course it was sold out. I am sure there is a logistical reason why Taemin’s agency booked such small venues, or maybe they underestimated his popularity in the US, but I really feel like they did him and his fans dirty.

Almost 2 hours later, Chooch came downstairs and asked if I got the tickets.

“Yes! Didn’t you hear me screaming?”

“I tend to block you out,” he said with a half-shrug.

Wow.

Anyway.

This year was rife with many losses, but this was a win that I really needed and I fully know how lucky I am. I am so happy!

YOU GUYS IM GOING TO SEE LEE TAEMIN!!!! Am I dreaming???

It’s so funny how all these years we all thought I was just born to hate beer but here it was because people kept serving me swill. Now that I know I have a SOPHISTICATED PALATE it’s like a new level to my life has been unlocked. I’m having such a fun time with this! I like also that I’m not drinking to get drunk. I usually only have the equivalent of one or two beers which I split with Henry because I don’t like drinking full beers – I get bored and want to move on to something else.

Henry said this is probably just my latest phase and he’s probably right but let’s just enjoy it while it lasts because I’m still in the “ooh that’s a cool can let’s get it”‘ phase.

We procured some Korean craft beer from an H-Mart outside of Detroit yesterday and sampled two of them last night to make sure they’re good enough for our Chingumas guests. We liked both! Unforch, we are not rich people so we only got about 4 cans of everything we saw. (There wasn’t much to choose from. Maybe someday k-beer will be as easily accessible here as k-everything else.)

(The one I really wish I could find is from a Korean brewery called Magpie. Henry had one of their beers at our favorite vegan restaurant in Seoul – Plant – and I really liked it too which was a surprise because this was prior to my beer identity reveal.)

I recently dove headfirst into IPA-ville and some of my friends have been shocked snd awed over the speed of my advancement. I’m telling you – I just didn’t have the right people holding my hand down these hoppy paths all these years.

Chooch just came home from Philly tonight and as he walked by to immediately leave again, I cried, “chooch! Mommy likes IPAs now.”

“Great,” he said drily.

Belgians still have my have heart though. This my 2024 collectors Duvel glass! I think part of the reason why I like Belgian beer so much is the GLASS COLLECTING ELEMENT.

Ever since the bartender at Aston taught us about triple IPAs, I have been obsessed with trying more. We got this one last weekend at Duffy’s and I was actually really mad that I had to share it with Henry, it was THAT good.

Apparently, Smiling Moose has IPAs! The Smiling Moose is a local bar and at one time, in my pre-Kpop era, was one of my favorite music venues. I used to see so many shows there, solo, that I became on friendly terms with the bouncer. Wow, so cool, Erin.

Anyway, not surprising but this was great! I know the grapefruit bitterness is why people who don’t like IPAs, you know, don’t like IPAs but I’m obsessed with it. I mean, I also love grapefruit in general, just digging right in with a spoon, so…

And then a trio of more Belgian notches to the belt. I loved all of these! Janna is supposed to get me the St Bernadus gift shop for Xmas so I can have another glass for my collection – WE WILL SEE IF SHE COMES THRU.

the end.

Henry, first thing this morning in the hotel: Are you watching the videos you took from last night?

Me: ofc

——

Roadtrip food interlude! I would remiss to not give the vegetarian restaurant we ate at this morning a shout-out in its own post. Henry found this place when he was looking for nearby H-Marts in the Detroit area (we are still trying to build up a k-beer stock for Chingumas, so annoying like a treasure hunt).

Even the name – Spacecat V-stro – is fun!

Full transparency, I originally found myself hovering above the DANGER ZONE which is where I am hyper-focusing on stupid shit – did I gain weight, do I look ugly, should I start a fight, should I punish myself? Why am I like this. I came so close to being like, “just forget the original plan, let’s just go home.”

But I fought with myself quietly behind the scenes (i.e. in my head) and just kept my big mouth shut so that we could just for once have a good morning. I know I’m difficult. I can’t always control it but if I can, I will. OK?? Leave me alone.

Spacecat can be found on a really cool, Pride flag-prominent street in Ferndale, also in good company with cozy-looking bars that probably have beers I can actually enjoy unlike Harry’s, indie gift shops, and a plant store that I would have popped into if it was open.

We also had a pleasant encounter on the sidewalk with a doctor (HE WAS WEARING A DOCTOR COAT; maybe he was a doctor for Halloween and really grew attached to the jacket but I really feel like he was a legit doctor guys, so stop asking me questions about it) regarding the hours of street parking while Henry was trying to download the parking app. I tried to point out that it said right on the parking kiosk that parking was 11am-12am or something but no one listened to me and it was just like the time Henry and I went to this haunted adventure trail where we ended up losing because Henry and some other cis white male ignored me and my correct solutions to the quests but it’s not like that happened in 2003 and I still dwell on it 21 years later because that wouldn’t be like me at all.

Anyway, it was 8:45am when we eventually went inside while Henry was still fussing with the parking app. There was only one person there – presumably the owner – and she greeted us so casually yet warmly as though expecting us, and I immediately knew it was going to be a good experience.

She told us to have a seat anywhere and then asked with a friendly eye brow raise, “You ready for some coffee?”

BET.

Most of the artwork was CATS. Fully my style. And the soundtrack was a great retro punk mix.

When the Spacecat lady came over with coffee and menus, she noticed Henry struggling with the parking app and said, “oh you don’t need to worry about that until 11!”

Mmmmmmm. YA DONT SAY, HENRY.

Now, about that menu! It’s almost predominately vegan but they DO bill themselves as a vegetarian restaurant because some of the things do have eggs/dairy. Others are naturally vegan, and then the rest have the option to swap out dairy cheese with vegan cheese.

I like their transparency!

I also like that all of their protein is made in-house, so no Impossible or Beyond products being used there. I appreciated this because I feel like it’s a cop-out to just add some toppings to an Impossible patty and then charge $20. Granted, I think Impossible burgers are delicious but I almost never order them while out because they kill my stomach and make me feel overstuffed.

Even the chik’n here was housemade with tofu, similar to how Zenith makes their tofishy sandwiches. I came so close to getting one of the chicken sandwiches (yes, it was 9am but who cares) but ultimately Henry ordered the chk’n and waffles so I just stole some off his plate – it was DIVINE. Henry, an avid disliker of tofu, fully approved of how the tofu had transformed into fried chicken.

And as for me, I was torn between several items on the brunch menu and the weekly grilled cheese special, but ultimately asked our Spacecat tour guide what their favorite of the two veggie burgers was. She steered me toward the Red Dwarf because it has “more going on” as opposed to the other burger option which was a more traditional patty melt. I also opted for the vegan cheese.

It was HEAVENLY. SPACEY even. The party was made from beets (and quinoa I think) and carrot “bacon” and the most deliciously tangy homemade sauce. I got it with a side of warm garlic kale and I could not have been more satisfied. It left me feeling full but not gross and bloated.

This food is made with love (they’re actually closed on Mondays and Tuesdays to make all of the food for the week) and even though it was nutritious, it still had that “restaurant cheat meal” edge to it.

Even Henry was raving about how much he enjoyed it.

And again, while I would have given this place a solid thumbs up regardless, the way the owner (?) was so down to earth and genuinely interested in where we were from, what brought us to Detroit, what the veg scene is like in Pgh – it just made it so much more memorable. I’m sure we will be back at some point to visit Jessi and Bill and when that happens, I am making them go there with us!

This just really set the tone for the day, in the most positive way possible. Literally the rest of the day – hunting for Korean beer at HMart, stopping at Biggby for coffee, and just being in the car together as we made our way back home – was so enjoyable and pleasant. No complaints. I can’t say that every often!