As usual, we had to split Chooch’s move-in across two weekends because it’s just us trying to move his shit in a Kona. You’re not allowed to bring a U-Haul and we don’t have anyone to ask to help so…two trips it is.

Henry had the bright idea of “taking the slow and leisurely way” and stopping in Lancaster on the way. First of all, he still took the turnpike, so I don’t know what the point was of “slow and leisurely.” Everything was fine until we got to Lancaster. We were having a fine morning in the car, listening to the Kpop playlist I made for Lyda, railing against MAGA, talking about G-Dragon. You know, the usual things that parents of a college student talk about it in the car on their way to bring their kid the rest of his underwear, his pillow that he apparently forgot, and other sundry that will probably never be unpacked. (Although, the iced coffee maker did make it out immediately and he was practically hugging it. Priorities.)

Usually, our go-to is Dutch Haven for shoo-fly pie, but I have been following this new-ish place called Lancaster Beignet Co (so much effort went into this naming convention that I am over here mopping my brow just thinking of the exertion) on Instagram since they opened in 2022. We have actually dipped into Lancaster numerous times since then but I always forget about it. This time though, I said it out loud and not just in my head, and that’s all it takes to solidify itineraries around these parts.

We arrived around 11:30, having made pretty good time on the road. With the exception of the times we went to Lancaster for concerts at the Chameleon Club, we have never actually been DOWNTOWN Lancaster. We always just go to the Amish-y outskirts, the weirdly-named towns like INTERCOURSE and BIRD-IN-HAND, you know, those areas.

“Didn’t we go to a quilt shop here once with Jessy?” Henry asked, and I said, “Maybe, but I probably was trying to smother myself with one of the quilts and blacked that memory out.” I loved Jessy but man – we could not be ANY DIFFERENT, lol.

Anyway. We made it and it was just crowded enough to make me annoyed. It was also really small inside with very little seating and the people working there were like cardboard. Not TO BE A KAREN but to me, personality matters. The way someone interacts with me at a cafe or a restaurant is sometimes more memorable than the product. And these people were just like, potatoes. Just stood there blankly until I nudged Henry to order because I think he was waiting for them to initiate the transaction and that was clearly not going to happen.

We got an order of three beignet (the smallest order) and then sat on some glorified balcony overlooking the sidewalk and main street. Henry was mad because the guy sitting at the table next to us refused to scoot his chair in. I don’t know if these were locals or LANCASTER LOLLYGAGGERS but I got an annoying vibe from everyone in general.

And then the beignet were just mid.

Also, pro tip: don’t eat beignet around Henry if you don’t want to be:

• embarrassed
• sprayed with powdered sugar

I had to ask him in a not-nice tone to please CALM DOWN and not eat like a medieval thug tearing into a turkey leg.

I don’t know why I get like this, but this mediocre experience set the tone for the next hour and my emotions went into a free-fall. The prominent feeling was one of pouty annoyance, I would say.

Also, it could be possible that I just really care for beignet? But I was super pissed that I chose  this over shoo-fly pie, that is FOR FUCKING SURE.

But then! While we were sitting on the fake balcony, I spotted a cafe across the street and was glad that we didn’t get drinks at this dumb beignet place because now we had a reason to go here instead and it was A DELIGHT. Like, as soon as we crossed the threshold, a bro behind the counter welcomed us happily and it was so genuine, like he could not WAIT to get a refreshing drink started for us. I was charmed by his enthusiasm and immediately ordered an iced blackberry matcha, which was the seasonal spesh.

But then I got annoyed again because Henry came lumbering over to the counter, all indecisive (he can’t just admit that he doesn’t like coffee). There was a wheel of Pokemon and other Japanese cartoon-inspired drinks so I egged him on to spin it. He fucking spun the wheel right off the pedestal and it went careening down the counter. Ugh, he has to manhandle everything, I swear! He eventually reassembled it and spun it with less toxic masculinity the second time around and ended up getting something that I can’t even remember now. Caramel and something latte BUT HE HATES ESPRESSO.

He was nursing that motherfucker for HOURS.

Also, this was a CBD-inspired cafe so they asked us if we wanted any CBD in our drinks. I said “no” like a normal human, but Henry practically had his fingers on his NARC NARC NARC speed dial button.

My matcha was fantastic.

I had to send this  to Chooch because we have this thing where we accuse Henry of “looking” every time we pass an adult store.

Also, we never knew that there was a market house thingie in Lancaster?? We went in but it was pretty crowded and I got overwhelmed very quickly, also these places are annoying because Henry “just likes to look” and never buys anything ALSO it was adding to my beignet regrets (beigrets?) because there were tons of more appealing treats on display here! U G H. Those fucking beignets. I’m unfollowing their Instagram account. I won’t be fooled again.

Then we left and got in a fight because I wanted to go to some shop but Henry was like THE SIDEWALK IS CLOSED, THEY ARE DOING CONSTRUCTION but you could still access the shop?? So I pointed that out all huffily and he was like “OK then let’s cross the street” but I was too busy storming off and pretending to not hear him calling out, “Hey! Don’t you want to go this store? Hello?”

UM YES I DID BEFORE YOU RUINED  MY LIFE BY MANSPLAINING HOW SIDEWALKS WORK.

So we walked back to the car and he was like THAT’S IT WE ARE LEAVING AND DRIVING STRAIGHT TO PHILLY and I was like FINE GO FUCK YOURSELF ON THE WAY and then he was like PLEASE JUST LET’S GO WALK BACK DOWN THERE SO YOU CAN GO TO THAT SHOP and he was basically crying about it so I said FINE but then we went to a different store instead and it was dumb and I got boxed into a corner by the three very tall men and a middle aged couple who were chatting up the clerk and refused to fucking move. I couldn’t handle it so I fled.

I was about to write off down Lancaster after that but after we got back to the car and barely drove a block on our way our, WE SAW A SWEDISH CANDY STORE. So Henry drove in a large loop back to where we had originally parked so we could walk back to the candy store and my mood was 100% improved.

I already liked salty licorice before our Coaster Crew Norden trip, but being there and eating FRESH, AUTHENTIC SALTY LICORICE changed me. I mean, it at least changed my palate I’ll tell you that much. Sadly, the salty licorice I liked the most was salmiakki from Finland so none of that was to be found at this shop.

They did have this gourmet candied licorice that we actually did buy in Denmark and Sweden but it didn’t taste as luxurious here. I guess it loses something in the import process, but also the kind we had bought over there was a big splurge – it was the “slow crafted” variety which cost more but was SO WORTH IT. I still have the glass jar because it has MEMORIES attached to it now.

Henry got his own bag because he didn’t want his candy rubbing up against my salty licorice hahaha. Also, those Geisha candies are delicious chocolates from this company called Fazer. They had cafes and shops in Finland and we stopped there several times. I had amazing salmiakki ice cream at one on our last night in Helsinki, and we waked to a nearby Fazer cafe every morning we were there and they gave me chocolate with my coffee. I was obsessed and miss that place so much. So, all this did was make me super nostalgic and SICK because I literally ate half the bag on the drive home that night and proceeded to moan and groan in agony like any other outcome was ever an option??

We got Chooch his own bucket of candies too. <3

Then it was Dutch Haven time! A very tall man practically chased me down to and me a plate of two tiny one-bite shoo-fly pie samples, much appreciated. It is the BEST place to get shoo-fly pie. Not that I have had it from very many other places, but I trust Dutch Haven.

Uncle Idiot and his product.

(Can you believe he didn’t buy a bag????) Don’t worry, he got a soft pretzel – just one for him, didn’t even ask me if I wanted one too, so this started another fight after we got back in the car hahaha. Hoo boy was I little bitchin’ Sybil on this day. (Everyday.)

Henry ruined this picture.

(I really thought this sign was coded, like all the red letters spell something on their own but then I lost interest trying to pull EXCEPT MAGA out of it.)

We also bought a full shoo-fly pie for Chooch and his roommates. More on the Philly portion of the day later!

Yesterday was a long and eventful (kind of) day and I’m really feeling it today – driving to and from Philly in one day is exhausting. Even as a passenger!

But it was worth it to see Chooch, even for less than 2 hours. Here’s a closet mirror selfie of us in his room yesterday. He really seems to be loving his new living situation this year so far and I hope that doesn’t change and that he has a great sophomore year experience!

More tomorrow. The rest of today is for reading and relaxing. Byyyye.

Another week down, yay.

Here are some things, if I can muster up 5 it will be a huge accomplishment as I have not left the house since Sunday haha. (I mean, I have gone outside for walks but that is it; even therapy was telehealth this week.)

1. THE PLAYLIST

My friend Lyda said that some of the songs I have sent over the last several mths have been coming up on her Spotify while she’s at the gym and she was inspired to get into Kpop (!!!) so she asked me to MAKE HER A PLAYLIST. Yo. Do you even know how excited this made me? The girl who used to make mixtapes and mix CDs practically as a side gig?? I giddily sat down the other night and started a Kpop 101 playlist for her, with all the old, the new, the in-between, the legends, the one-offs, etc. I was so in the zone, and even Henry was like, “let me see what you have so far” and then immediately said, “I’d remove Ko Ko Bop” because for some reason he has always hated that song – all the more reason to keep it.

Anyway, I sent it to her later that night and then yesterday at work, she messaged me, “THAT PLAYLIST IS ALMOST 8 HOURS LONG!” And I was like, “Oh god, here we go. I scared another one away.”

But then she added: “I love it.”

I mean, OK. I got carried away a little, but do you know how much that meant to me? For 10 years I have been living a lonely solo stan life (ok I have Henry as a co-stan, it’s not that dire), so I was so stoked to share this. Of course she lives in freaking Washington (as in, THE STATE on the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY) so I still have only Henry to go to Kpop concerts with me, sorry Henry.

(Whatever, he loves it!)

2. SPEAKING OF FRIENDS

In therapy, we have been talking about my struggle with opening up to new people / putting up walls / and how that really impedes upon fostering deeper & more meaningful friendships out of acquaintances.  While on that subject, she asked, “You mentioned that an old friend from your past reached out recently. How is that going?”

Which made me realize I never talked about that here, oh dearest diary, doth thou forgive me, but I have been casually texting with my old friend Brian here and there since June and it’s been OK but I just don’t know. I will see how it feels when/if we eventually meet up in person (I haven’t seen him since…2015?? 2014??). Even Henry has been gently pushing this. I really want it to be like old times but realistically I am sure that’s not going to be the case because that is a lot time that has passed! I’m not the same person and I am sure he isn’t either. But thinking about all of the fun times we had as basically kids, it really hurts my heart. I want that back!

As it stands, he texted me some lamps he was interested in and asked for my opinion, and my therapist said that was a good sign that he was trying to involve me.

See also: SHOULD I START POSTING ON LIVEJOURNAL AGAIN AND LOOK FOR FRIENDS THERE??? I haven’t had any drama lately, might be time to stir the pot!

3. ESCALATORS

I have always had this huge fear of escalators – I mean, I will use them but I’m not happy about it and I get super clenched every time. This fear originates from when I was probably 4 years old and in Atlantic City with my family. We were going up on an escalator (probably in a casino) and my SHOELACE GOT CAUGHT YOU GUYS. I was fucking screaming but MY PAPPAP rescued me -he was always my hero, so many times during the 16 short years he was in my life. Anyway, I have never ever forgotten that moment.

And then there was the time we were at one of the two-level Kohl’s when Chooch was really little, maybe a toddler, and he fell on the escalator and thank god Henry was there (also a hero) because my legs went all Jell-O and my PTSD came back in full force. Thankfully Chooch was OK. (I forget the extent of the situation because obviously all I remember is how it affected ME, thank you very much.)

I get nervous watching people take strollers on escalators. Running on escalators. Doing pranks on escalators. Those things just scream DANGER!!! to me.

But suddenly…I now love escalators!

4. G-DRAGON MARMALADE

These Paris fancams have been giving me life this week ESPECIALLY his “Too Bad” dance break which had a mash-up of Lady Marmalade! I love this nod to Moulin Rouge! In the US, he used Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” for his dance break, I assume as a shout out to his friend Pharrell. But this one is SUCH A VIBE. And his blue hair!!! And new Chanel suit! Jesus, I miss this man so much.

5. KASH PATEL IS SUCH AN UNEDUCATED DICKHEAD

And he talks like a middle school bully just popped him in the nose after stealing his lunch money and slamming his fingers in his locker.

This administration is full of caricature of comic book villains I fucking swear to god and if I didn’t worry about blood pressure I would be blogging about this shit every day but instead I just scream about it to Henry.

****

And with that, I’m going to watch some Haunted Hotel eps on Netflix and drink a thimble of beer.

Flipping through my vacation journal and found Chooch’s rules that he made for Henry when we were in Korea the last time and it made me laugh but also burst into tears because what if that was the last time we ever will be in Korea together as a family?!

I definitely felt abandoned a little bit when we took him back to school last weekend because as SOON as he was back on campus, it was like he completely forgot that Henry and I were there. And I get it – he has his own life there and we’re not part of that but it just hit different this time since he’s living with three friends and not just some random roommate so he was really rearin’ to catch up, hang out, forget about Pittsburgh, etc.

(STOP CRYING ERIN STOP IT NOW!!)

He’s still texting me every day – usually just his Wordle and Connections results, and a “wow” in response to my droll life updates. And we will see him on Saturday since we have to bring him more stuff. But – it feels more permanent this time I guess? Since he won’t be back for summers anymore. That is the part I’m struggling with. And time is just moving so much more faster now, it feels like.

The other thing that’s been on my mind is that in three weeks, Henry and I are going on our first ever real vacation just the two of us and I am oddly nervous about that. No Chooch acting as a buffer (though, he could often act as a catalyst too…). Even pre-Chooch, we never went away for more than 2 or 3 days at a time because we were so poor lol. I think Coachella was probably the longest trip we took together and that was only because we hadn’t fallen into the Pit of Destitution yet – that would come soon after once we were living off one income lol.

Ugh.

Anyway, hopefully we don’t come back separated!

In a weird state, what else is new, so here are some…uplifting?…things that are currently…uplifting?…me.

1. DORA MAAR!!

Every so often, this song will pop into my head and I run to YouTube to see if it’s still there. I can’t remember how I had originally heard of this song – probably MySpace or Purevolume – but Henry’s oldest son, Robbie, and I were obsessed with it back in the day. I honestly want to say this even pre-dates Chooch. I don’t have the mp3 anymore so when one of the band members uploaded this to YouTube 10 years ago, I was absolutely stoked. In fact, you can see my comment from 9 years ago just dangling there.

You know I love Kpop nearly exclusively these days but this stuff will always have room in my heart!

2. UPCOMING CONCERTS!

September was oddly devoid of shows (I mean, 2 back-to-back G-Dragon concerts + Enhypen in August was pretty good to tide me over though!), but we have some good stuff coming up!

• COLD in October with Wonka & Jess!
• JOHNNIE GUILBERT in November in Columbus!
• PVRIS – this one is a solo show for me in December, like the old days.
• KEY!!!!!!!! in Chicago also in December! I’m really stoked about this one. SHINee is right up there with BIGBANG in my heart and I have never seen them, and now will never get the change to see them as OT5. But I can now say that I have seen Taemin (twice if you count SuperM), Onew, and now Key so that only leaves Minho if we’re playing the “collect all the SHINee” game.

3. plantball update

On Saturday, Ikea plantballs impregnated me with gas, bloating, the feeling of invisible Viking swords piercing through me. It was awful. But happily, I returned to normal the next day (I announced to Henry that I “gave birth” to the plantballs and he was like, “Wha—-? Oh.”) Anyway, I am only bringing this up because Sunday morning I was in the bedroom and there was a fucking commercial for IKEA on the radio and they were like, “AND DON’T FORGET THE MEATBALLS” or something and I almost puked. Then later that day, I had YouTube on but wasn’t paying attention until someone said, “I’ve only ever had Swedish meatballs from IKEA” and I snapped to attention. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.

4. A Post Script to the Beer Can Odyssey

Click that hyperlink if you don’t know what I’m talking about because at this point, I am so over this Penn Brouhaha.

Back in I guess July, I got a new follower on Instagram and a comment on a picture I had posted from Kennywood earlier that summer. The commenter was a local guy named Brian and he was commenting to say that he stumbled upon my blog post recounting how difficult it was to obtain all 8 Kennywood beer cans from Penn Brewery and came to commiserate because he too was having no luck finding the two “secret” cans. He said after seeing how frustrating it was for me, he decided to just give up.

But! Because I am a nice person (some may have words about this), I offered to give him a can each from the two six packs I had to buy in order to complete the set. Luckily for this guy, Henry and I weren’t wild about the beers so we only drank one of each six pack to get the empty cans and put the rest in the fridge. Turns out this guy is a local historian who has written some books on Kennywood and other ‘Burgh things, and he also works at the Heinz History Center (which was voted #1 history center in the country, in case you need more confirmation that Pittsburgh is alright). He was actually  trying to get the full set of the Kennywood cans for the history center, and I was so happy to help him! Henry actually dropped them off though because it was during the week and easier for him to do it. He said the guy was really cool, and he gave us some of his books, a huge Kennywood banner for Aero360, and some passes to the history center! I was not expecting anything in return, was happy enough to just prevent someone else from going through the hairpulling search and having to engage with Penn Brewery  – who, I should note, found my blog post and sent me a DM on Instagram apologizing for the hassle and offering me a gift card, which I appreciated but I did not respond because:

1. I am moderately embarrassed that they caught me Karen’ing on the Internet (I always forget people sometimes read this trash!) and
2. I am not the type of person who complains about stuff just to get something free in return. I truly did not enjoy the beer I had there and would feel like an asshole going back for freebies. That makes me feel gross just thinking about it. So I guess don’t let my Negative Nancy review deter you from drinking their beer. And whoever is in charge of their social media is a lot friendlier than the staff they have at the bar, so there’s that too.

Oh! This is also funny because at the same time they responded to me on IG, Janna texted me and said that they had finally responded to her Instagram DM that she sent a month prior – I got her text and their DM at the same time and groaned because if they read my post, then they knew I TOLD JANNA TO MESSAGE THEM. Ugh, this was one of the dumbest situations I have found myself in lately, that has literally no impact at all on my life or your life or their life but it was still embarrassing to be in the middle of it.

5. Acetaminophen

EVEN I CAN PRONOUNCE THAT ONE. (It’s Ibuprofen that I struggle with lol.) What a fucking week and it’s only Tuesday.

OK, that’s all. Dismissed.

*aka Chooch Moves Back to Philly Day :(

8:58am: Waiting for Henry to come back with the rental SUV – he hilariously thought that renting a larger car would mean only one trip but after seeing all of Chooch’s shit in the living room, it’s become quite clear that Henry and I will still be taking that second trip next weekend lol. How do other people do this without renting a Uhaul (Drexel says no Uhauls!)??

10:03am: We’re leaving :( Chooch was saying goodbye to Penelope and I started crying. This sucks and feels worse than last year somehow.

But hey some good news! So the whole draw of Drexel is that they have co-ops so graduates will already have 1 to 1.5 years of work experience in their field when they graduate. This is why Chooch chose Drexel over Pitt (and because he didn’t want to stay in Pgh). Anyway, they had three rounds of co-op applications or whatever starting in June. He got no interviews for the first round. Second round he had one and then didn’t get it. Third round JUST happened 2 weeks ago and brother when I say I have been stressed to the point of sickness this summer – basically if he didn’t get a co-op he’d have to take classes this quarter which means we’d have to take out another last minute loan, etc. just a lot of financial stress when we have been kind of doing ok.

All week we’ve been preparing for that. He had some calls with his advisor and it seemed like that’s what was going to have to happen. Then! He had an interview yesterday at noon and by 2::30 they offered him a position! Not trying to doxx my kid here but it’s at a museum (!!!) and he will be doing meta-data and archival work whatever that means. The weight that melted off my shoulders when he sent me a screenshot of the job offer (he was actually at our neighbor’s house cutting grass – the guy on the street behind us with the Corgi!) – I knew I had been carrying a lot of stress this summer but didn’t realize just how much until I read that email.

You guys I even prayed sort of in my own way over this! It was awkward but I did it.

10:40am: Pulled into a Sheetz. Chooch is bitching because he realized he brought one of the reusable straws in his Dunkin and doesn’t know what to do with it now that his drink is empty so he told Henry to throw it away and I piped up, “no!! It’s reusable! That’s the whole point of reusable straws so that you don’t throw it out!” And everyone is annoyed with me but you’re welcome, Straw, for living to be sucked on another day.

11:10am:

Here is Son, having backseat bitch fest because he doesn’t like the food at Sheetz but was forced to get something since Henry starved him all morning.

OMG HUGE FIGHT ALERT: when we were at Sheetz I tried to get a fork but got pissed bc people kept crashing into me. So I gave up and said to Chooch, “go get me a fork” so he walked over to the food pick up area while Henry and I went out to the car.

“I guarantee he doesn’t get me a fork,” I said as we got into the car.

Just now I turned around because I was ready to eat my watermelon snack. I made “fork” motions to chooch who got real annoyed and yelled “I don’t know what that means.” I kept trying to say fork but I was laughing because of how mad he was so that was making him even more mad until he finally understood me and said, “why would I have a fork??”

“Because I told you to get me a fork!”

“NO, you did NOT!” he yelled haughtily. “You told me to go get my food!”

“I said to get me a fork!!!!” I cried.

“Why wouldn’t you just get your own fork?? You were halfway there!” he yelled.

“Because people kept crashing into me!!” I screamed, feeling my eyes bulging at this juncture of the argument. The crux, if you will. The climax.

Henry was doing a silent laugh through this whole exchange, practically crying over it, while I’m yelling, “HOW WILL I EAT MY WATERMELON???”

“Use the stupid reusable straw!!” Chooch yelled and we all lost it at that point.

I’ll miss our car fights :(

2:57pm: at IKEA somewhere because chooch needs cups?? Henry called the two of us a “little bitch clique” bc we were whispering about him decomposing in a trunk. You had to be there.

1. Now that I have been to the bathroom in the Pgh IKEA and whatever IKEA this is, and the one in Denmark, I can safely say that the US IKEA bathrooms are far inferior.

2. HOWEVER!! The plant ball meal here was way better than the strange concoction they served up in the Danish IKEA 100%. I actually hated that meal so much but this one was nice.

I also split a rainbow cake with Henry but there’s no picture because he carved into it immediately and had it all in his beard ugh.

4:03pm: hello back in the car and I’m seriously about to puke my stomach hurts so bad from eating at IKEA ugh. Anyway we’re 40 minutes outside of Philly. I’m so sad even though Chooch has been mean to me all day. (Nothing unusual!)

4:43pm: we just pulled up and asked the move-in crew if this was where he needed to be for his apartment move in and she looked back and forth between me and Chooch and asked if he was the student, DID SHE THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME LOL.

6:02pm: wow what an actual cluster moving him in but here is his view from the 20th floor:

Oh and excuse me look at what he tried to take????

I made him pose here and he did it haha. Also we had to walk up 20 flights up steps with his computer monitors and TV because we didn’t wait for the elevator again since the line is out the door with move-in activity. I’m cooked.

6:58pm: I feel sad. :( We will see him again next weekend to bring the rest of his stuff but still. This is a part of parenting that I was not prepared for.

7:37pm: ugh why is every experience at Wawa so mid. I got a gross fajita veggie bowl and the avocado I paid extra for was the tiniest squirt of guac. So underwhelming. Meanwhile Henry bought a pretzel and realized in the car that it was opened with a piece taken out of it and he was sure it wasn’t like that when he scanned it at the self-checkout but refuses to eat it now because he can’t remember opening it. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m pissed bc while I was hate-eating my bowl the only consolation I had was that I was going to eat some of Henry’s pretzel like the pigeon I am. Ugh.

8:40pm: here we are an hour later at a rest stop and Henry is still pondering the pretzel puzzle:

“It’s not hard though, you’d think it was opened before I bought it, it would be hard….”

9:39pm: did I mention that Henry rented a GMC SUV? He thinks it’s a Terrain? Never heard of it. It feels like something MAGA would drive and I actually hate it so much. Every 5 minutes I’m finding new things about it to hate but mostly it’s that I can picture these on Texan highways with LET’S GO BRANDON stickers on the back window. I always forget that GMC exists and prefer to keep it that way, which is particularly difficult when I’m sitting in one.

10:03pm: we saw the prettiest stray (?) cat at the last rest stop but Henry wouldn’t let me take her :( When we were leaving, there were workers from the rest stop food places outside feeding her so Henry thinks she’s a regular and “will be fine.” Well, he can sleep outside tonight too. I’m sure he will also be fine.

When we were walking back to the car, I was complaining about my distended stomach and said that I actually look pregnant so I started rubbing my belly while saying, “it’s ok baby, we’re almost back to the car.”

“Wow! I’m telling Chooch. You never talked to HIM like that,” Henry said in mock offense. I mean, kind of true. I never called him “baby.” Lol.

Ok I’m posting this now. I miss Chooch. Bye.

10:53pm: I lied. I’m back. We just stopped at this rest stop that has something called TRAILHEAD and Henry said it has something to do with the bike trail that goes to DC or whatever. I needed to get the rest of my steps for the day so we walked over to look at the pavilion that was built and apparently just opened today???-

I guess this is supposed to have a 3D effect but ok.

Oh! When I was in the bathroom, one of the girls working at Baskin was at the sink with me and she said she liked my shoes (just Vans) so of course I had to run back to Henry and tell him because it’s always news worthy when I get a compliment since I am attention starved, always. He didn’t care.

Anyway, this whole time I have been crying over my stomach pains which I have had ever since eating at fucking IKEA. My stomach is so bloated and distended that I could pass for a pregnant lady.

Henry was annoyed that he had to accompany me on my rest stop walk but I was like I DONT WANT SOME TRUCKER TO BE LIKE OOH LOOK AT THIS LATE-IN-LIFE PREGNANT BROAD WHILE LICKING HIS LIPS.

Henry thought this was hilarious and I was like THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE THAT I WOULD APPEAL TO YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN I GET TAKEN.

Then I started spiraling out. “What if when they check CCTV to get the last known footage of me being seen alive they see me walking through that last rest stop parking lot when I was caressing my fake pregnant stomach and then the APB really does say I’m a late in life pregnant lady???” Henry was like, “omg plz stop.” But then he said that’s probably why the Baskin girl said she liked my shoes, she felt sorry for me being “old and pregnant” and I snapped, “I never said OLD I said LATE IN LIFE but thanks for speaking your truth.”

Then we argued over Trailhead some more because THE HEAD OF THE TRAIL CANNOT EVEN BE ACCESSED AT THIS REST STOP?! Henry said it’s like a mile and a half away. I am so irritated by this.

I mean….wow. Every day I start a new post to rant about this piece of shit admin and then I never post it because what’s the point. And you know, we have talked about the possibilities of one day being marked based on our party affiliation / voting history and I was even nervous about the two short trips we took to Canada over the summer. But now…I feel like we’re under the DARE TO DREAM admin except their DREAMS are our NIGHTMARES and everything is becoming a reality so there is no “waking up from a night terror” reprieve anymore.

Just wanted to say, if anyone is reading this who feels the same way, I’m with you. Trying to stay positive but Jesus Christ, all I do is rage-cry and shake with stress and anger these days. What even is 2025.

Remember when we thought he was dead?

ETA: ok that was depressing so I came back to add some things that cheered me up this week:

1. Jake Webber announced his new roommate and it’s BARRY I LOVE BARRY SO MUCH.
2. I ordered some cutie skirts for vacation and they arrived yesterday – I love them!
3. The Wordle from yesterday was TEETH and I guessed it while IN THE DENTIST’S WAITING ROOM. I excitedly told the hygienist after she called me back and she was like “ok.” This was the same one who asked me if I CHEW TOBACCO btw.
4. Haechan’s LONG-AWAITED solo album dropped recently and it did NOT disappoint. My favorite is Camera Lights:

LOLOLOL.

On Saturday, I made Chooch join us for some Pink Box buns and a stroll through our fave cem. It was, after all, our last full weekend with him but really just Saturday because his Sunday was filled with going to the Steelers game (DON’T WORRY, he likes the team they were playing – Seahawks – not the gross Steelers) with his friends, Chipotle with his friends, PICKLEBALL with his friends (gross!!!) and then a haunted house with his friends. It’s OK. I just stayed home and cried. (He did let two of the friends come in the house with him & awkwardly interact with me in between Steelers game and Chipotle so that was something.)

I really don’t want to take him back to Philly this weekend. :(

This is what he did when I asked him to stand with me for a picture :( He is my biggest troll.

I wanted Henry to take a picture of me in my BIGBANG shirt that Veronica sent me years and years ago! Speaking of, they will be at Coachella next year and you know I am super ugh about Coachella when not even BIGBANG can get me to go again. I’m sorry but can my first time seeing BIGBANG *not* be at Coachella with a bunch of drunk influencers??

(Although it would be worth it to see Jake and Johnnie and the Alexanders, lol. A sentence that Chooch would be very disappointed to read.)

WHAT WAS I POINTING AT. This was only three days and already I’ve forgotten.

Then I asked Chooch to take a picture of Henry and me and the following is what I received:

???? I’m going to frame this one for his apartment.

Plus a selection of random close-ups of Henry. My camera roll always needs to be cleaned up after Chooch has my phone.

And then he finally took OK ones.

Afterward, we came home and didn’t see him again until around 8PM when he decided to go to Walmart and buy a blue shirt and fabric paint so that he could make his own DIY Seahawks t-shirt since it was going to be too hot to wear his Seahawks hoodie to the game on Sunday. I had a lot of fun making fun of him for this while Mr. He’s Crafty was salivating on the sidelines, waiting to be tagged in.

Basically, nothing major happened on Saturday yet I remember laughing a lot. I feel like when we’re all together we’re always laughing a lot (mostly at Henry’s expense). I’m going to miss this. :(

Last fall was so tough and I really hope this time the separation anxiety isn’t as bad. I just REALLY loved having him home, even when he was mostly in his lair or running past us to grab the car keys while calling out over his shoulder where he was going. My workdays are going to be so depressing again.

This absolute cutie was chilling in the backyard the other day which was nice but also terrible because I have lots of backyard friends that could be considered FOOD for this owl so we had to have a conversation. Henry took this picture from the backporch window as I was trying to sternly reason with it to go somewhere else while being met with an “ok Karen” look. 😂 At least it acknowledged me though; the HAWKS just pointedly ignore me although Chooch said one day one one them is going to be like “this bitch” and attack me.

(Seriously though one of my bunny friends was in the driveway RIGHT BEHIND the owl so I had to run out back like a maniac until it hopped under a car. I’m always on backyard patrol, sigh.)

Well, considering it’s been three weeks now since I saw GD and I’m currently SOBBING while watching someone’s vlog from the LA shows – a married couple that are super VIPs from way back seeing him for the first time and feeling emotions that I can totally relate to and I’m sitting here with fucking goosebumps lol –  I just have to power through this or else it will be October and I’m still living in the weekend of August 22. Sigh.

Let’s just dive in because it’s now or never!

SETLIST (same for both nights)

1. POWER
2. HOME SWEET HOME
3. MichiGO
4. ONE OF A KIND
5. CRAYON
6. BONAMANA
7. Butterfly
8. I Love It
9. WHO YOU?
10. Today
11. Crooked
12. Heartbreaker
    (with WinG hologram intro)
13. Bullshit
    (with interpolations of ‘Not Like Us’ by Kendrick Lamar)
14. TAKE ME
15. TOO BAD
16. DRAMAENCORE
17. This Love
    (Maroon 5 cover)
18. 1 Year Station
19. IBELONGIIU
20. GYRO‐DROP
    (partial vocals, band and dancers introductions)
21. Untitled, 2014

I thought that after seeing this show only 24 hours before, that some of the magic and surprise would have worn off. But yo, I was so immersed from the moment the lights went out and the video for Too Bad began playing on the screens, audio blasting. My heart was racing! G-DRAGON IS THE MOTHERFUCKING GOAT. In the video I was watching from the YouTube couple, they pointed out that even when GD was being silly on stage at the LA show, he was still so fucking cool, because EVERYTHING GD DOES IS SO FUCKING COOL. HE IS A LEGIT TRENDSETTER FOR A REASON. Bro started wearing scarves over his hats and it turned into a trend in Asia, and then he later admitted that he was only doing that to hide his weight gain in his face, not to look cool!

I have been really thinking hard about this, especially after watching so many fan cams from this tour: people and by people I do mean BTS fans are trying to create this toxic narrative that GD’s comeback was a “flop,” that he’s “washed up,” that he’s “talentless.” Bro. All I have been seeing, outside of BTS INTERNET, is that there have been a ton of people who started stanning him this year BECAUSE OF HIS COMEBACK. New Kpop fans, people who don’t like Kpop at all (the girl next to me did not listen to other Kpop ONLY G-Dragon, although she does know Seventeen BECAUSE OF G-DRAGON!), and old Kpop fans alike. Bro has accumulated so many new fans this year alone! HE IS THE REAL DEAL. When I tell you this man could have peddled herbal tonics in a past life and became a millionaire in no time, I’m not kidding. His charisma is unmatched. He was simply born this way – this was not learned, he did not train to become this, HE ALREADY HAD THIS IN HIM. G-Dragon doesn’t need to aura farm, he IS the aura farm.

I AM FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HIM.

BONAMANA <3

I think I saw somewhere that this jacket is worth something like $15,000? $30,000?

Too Bad!

THIS SUIT! It was different than night one’s and I was obsessed with it.

I loved his Too Bad performance so much – the dancing was SO GOOD.

OK I have to include this video of the ment where he announces BIGBANG’s 20th anniversary because it has so much going on – him trying to explain the Ubermensch concept while getting interrupted by fanboys (one of them in particular went to all 5 US shows and GD recognized him and in LA said, “You? Again? Do we know each other? You came to all of the shows? Are you rich?” That guy is living the DREAM!!), getting flustered with mic stand after noticing Those LED Girls (he had a Jacobs & Co rep find them after this and gift them two of his daisy pendants worth over $1000!), impromptu Happy Birthday serenade – this ment was so chaotic and he totally lost control of the crowd because we all just wanted to shower him with love and finally he gave up and let us. I am so glad there is video of this because it makes my heart swell every time I watch it! Imagine being ONE PERSON and commanding an entire arena like this (and huge ass stadiums in other countries!).

But good Lord, I could listen to this man talk and watch his facial expressions all day long.

One of my favorite G-Dragon songs is from his latest album is Drama, co-written by DIANE WARREN. EXCUSE ME, WHAT? THE LEGEND HERSELF DIANE WARREN. Dang.

I want an Ubermensch robe so bad. If he had been selling this as merch, I’d have gladly thrown down and just as an FYI – I have never owned a robe in MY LIFE nor have I ever wanted one until now.

BIG shout out to his dancers and band! They’re incredible and bring so much to the stage.

And you can tell they genuinely love backing him too.

The final final final song was “Untitled 2014.” This song still gives me chills to this day. Everyone in the arena was either choked up & quietly swaying with their daisy bongs or singing along like it was church. There was so much positive and beautiful energy coursing through the Prudential Center, it was impossible not to feel SOMETHING, ANYTHING. I was silently crying, knowing that this was it – the last song, my last glimpse of Kwon Jiyong in person, back to real life. I can guarantee that I wasn’t alone in wanting this night to never end!

OK, I’m crying again so it’s time to turn this over to Henry for his…”thoughts” and “review”! Basically, for science, here’s why a 60-year-old white American man likes this amazing Korean rapper / singer / songwriter / fashion trendsetter / GOAT / legend:

“So where to begin? This was my second time seeing him, and it completely blew me out of the water, he was totally in the zone and giving it 110%. I honestly don’t know why I like him so much, maybe it’s the music or the person I went with (who makes me watch all his videos). But somehow this time hit different, and I loved every minute of both days. Now what? There is always next year to see him again in Big Bang and possibly a different country, just saying, no promises.” – Henry, 2025

(It took him literally 2 hours to write that.)

Saw this adorable dad and daughter on our way out and it made my eyes mist over. I fear that BIGBANG will be the only concert that could ever top this one in my heart and I am already so desperate to go. Please please please let this happen next year. There is not much else in this world to look forward to these days. Thank fucking god for music.

No intro.

1. Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid

3.5? I loved the characters, loved that it was set in the 80s, loved that it wasn’t TOO spacey because I hate outer space shit, but the end felt a bit rushed. I did get pretty choked up at times because TJR has a way of writing characters that feel so feel (with the exception of Malibu Rising – I hated everyone in that book and it was, imo, trash).

2. You Shouldn’t Have Come Here by Jeneva Rose

I love this author as a person – her instagram cracks me up and makes me smile – but she is very hit or miss with her books. I didn’t enjoy this. Someone’s review on Goodreads was “You Shouldn’t Have Read This” and IJBOL’d because I really felt that! Yeah, this one is very skippable. I read the shitty books so you don’t have to, I guess.

4. The French Honeymoon by Anne-Sophie Jouhanneau

2 stars. Not a fan.

5. Strange Pictures by Uketsu

YOOOOO. Finally! A 5 star horror! Totally unique, chilling, and exceptionally fun to read! Japanese horror is always such a wild ride.

If you’re an audio book aficionado, try to get a physical copy too because there are pictures!

6. Five-Star Stranger by Kat Tang

4 stars for me but this got some big mixed reviews and people were pissed about the little girl but…it’s a fucking book, you guys. Basically, this dude can be rented out to fulfil various purposes – like a date to a wedding. He has a few gigs that he’s juggling but the most insane one is where he pretends to be the dad of a young girl once a week – she thinks he’s an OTR truck driver. Things get messy. It was entertaining and fascinating, COME AT ME.

7. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

After I finished this TERRIBLE book, I realized that I read another of her books and gave it a 1 Star – wish I had remembered that so I could have avoided this one! And OF COURSE it was made into a movie with fucking Anna Kendrick (barf) and Blake Lively (my Anna Kendrick barf is barfing).  The funniest thing is that I can’t think of a single thing that happened in this crappy book.

OH OK, I read the synopsis and now I remember that I was listening to the audio book of this when I was doing Japanese walking for the first time in Jefferson Memorial.

8. Queen B by Juno Dawson

A novella set in the 1600s, featuring Anne Boleyn. For as short as it was, it felt like it was dragging on. I loved the HRMC series though and thought this would tide me over while waiting for the third installment but it was just OK.

9. We Won’t All Survive by Kate Alice Marshall

1 star, so bad. Avoid at all costs.

10. The Golden Couple by Greer Hendricks

This is split between the wife of a couple in therapy, and the therapist (actually unlicensed). Loved the chapters with the marriage counselor. The wife was so boring. It was a decent domestic thriller though, would have made a good plane read.

11. If Something Happens to Me by Alex Finlay

OK! I have read some shitty books by this guy but I genuinely liked this one. It was pretty wild and I audibly gasped when the storylines came together. Super entertaining and I found myself going on extra walks so I could keep listening to the audiobook. So, good for the health, too! You got me, Mr, Finlay!

12. Blob: A Love Story by Maggie Su

Fucking weird and just what I needed. Downtrodden, recently dumped college dropout Vi finds a blob outside of a bar, takes it home, feeds it cereal, it becomes sentient. Hijinks ensure while we get a good look at why Vi is the way she is through vignettes of her childhood. It made me uncomfy and I loved that for me.

_______________________

bye bye bye buhubuhbuhubye.

Can we take a moment to admire all of the freebies I accumulated from FAM and VIPs over the two nights in Newark?? I love it, and everyone who took time out to make such cute freebies. There is nothing like a Kpop concert. Also included is my VIP lanyard, the gifts provided by GD (the guitar picks – every city had it’s own color!), the Polaroids that I got free with my merch, and the two exclusive photo cards that came with the VIP package. I love stuff! I was practically acting like Scrooge McDuck and his money bags over my loot while Henry rolled his eyes.

When we came home the next day, I gave Chooch all the candy I collected even though he was lecturing me about how much money I spent on all of this. LET ME LIVE, KID!!! This is MOMMY’S TIME TO SHINE now.

We had to get to the arena earlier on Saturday because VIP line-up started at 4:30 and I did NOT want to risk anything. We ended up getting there around 3PM so I could also pass out the rest of the pins we made. We had over 100 for each day! Again, my social battery was quickly draining during this process but it was so rewarding because some people get REALLY HAPPY about freebies (other people make me take it back because their reactions are so borderline rude – like sorry for having the audacity to want to give you a cute  memento of GD’s concert??). I did chat with a few really nice people though, like a super spunky  (I have never used this word to describe anyone so I guess I was saving it for the perfect candidate) fan who showed me pictures on her phone of her in her Motte concert shirt from 2017 because I was wearing mine. Then she asked me if I wanted a tattoo and I thought she meant a real one and I was caught off guard like, we just met but OK I’ll go get a tattoo with you, but then she handed me a temporary GD tattoo and that made so much more sense lol.

A lot of people commented on Henry’s Motte clip that I made him wear on his hat and my matching tote that we got with our 2017 VIP packages. There was a group of older Asian women who seemed taken aback when I approached them with my freebies – there were a lot of older people at this concert because GD has been a Kpop legend for 20 years so he has fans of all of ages and some of these people don’t go to other Kpop concerts and it shows because they acted like I was trying to sell them something lol. There was one couple that politely put up the “no thank you” stop hand and skirted away from me lol. But anyway, once this particular group realized what was happening, they were squealing as they opened the baggies and pulled out the pins, and then one of them noticed my tote bag and cried, “Oh!!! You’re old fan! You go back to the old days!” and I was like, “Yep! That’s me, an old head!” and they were all fawning over me then – it was the most positive and sweet attention I have received in years and I was FEELING IT! I floated on that cloud for a good long while, what amazing people I met that day.

Henry did say at one point that I was basically a jump scare because I was standing right next to a tree and popping out at people. I didn’t even think about it at the time, but he’s not wrong!

We eventually got in the VIP line after I successfully handed out all of my pins and we received MORE birthday banners which made Henry grumble because he hates having to carry things at concerts lol.

I would say we stood in line for about an hour – they were definitely running behind. It was enough time to admire all of the outstanding outfits around us though! Some people went all out with cosplaying GD and I was very impressed. Especially the fans who made DIY versions of his iconic red rose jacket. The only downside is that it gave me too much time to notice all of the people in line wearing their Peaceminusone NIKEs which I have never been able to obtain since they sell out so fast!! Ugh, the FOMO was so real.

I would be remiss to not add that my idiotic ass kept putting off getting my driver’s license renewed before this (I went the next weekend, OK???) and the venue email that was sent to VIP ticket holders with instructions said that VALID ID was required when checking in, NO EXCEPTIONS. Of course I panicked and brought my passport just in case they slapped my expired (by one month!!) driver’s license out of my hand. AND THEN THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHECK ID. Just scanned our tickets and shuffled us off into the secret door that funnels you straight onto the floor of the arena. Staff was lined up and passing out our VIP bags which included the guitar pick, two exclusive photo cards of GD, and our VIP lanyard and badge. I was geeking out. I have only done VIP for a concert of this size one other time and that was also for GD in 2017! This process was way more streamlined and went off without a hitch (at least in our experience).

Walking across the floor to our seat in Section 8, Row 3. THEY WERE SO GOOD. After Stray Kids, I decided that I never want to be on the floor unless I’m barricade, honestly. Fuck the floor. We were still basically on the floor, so close to the extended stage, and had perfect view during the whole concert.

First of all, a nearly empty arena is fucking COLD. That paired with my nervous anticipation of seeing a pre-concert G-Dragon had me shivering in my seat. Which, by the way, was right next to a woman who flew in from Indiana and was also there for both nights! In the dim light of the Prudential Center, she reminded me a lot of my friend Jiyong (no, not G-Dragon, but my in real life friend Jiyong who was teaching me Korean when she lived in Pittsburgh and then gave us the greatest assist with our marriage!) because when I was just seeing her in my periphery, she had the same stature and her voice sounded so similar! It made my heart swell. We chatted a bit about our love for G-Dragon, how/when we got into him, etc. all while the staff and arena security were walking around shouting out the no cell phones / pictures / videos policy during soundcheck. The one dude was a middle-aged no-nonsense white man who was screaming at people to put their phones away now rather than later, if anyone gets caught with their phones out during soundcheck, they will be escorted out, etc. I have seen plenty of soundcheck videos from other artists’ concerts so I don’t know if this is a G-Dragon policy or what, but it was also like this in 2017 and we did see someone get taken out at that one. I quickly put my phone away because I sacrificed too much to miss this opportunity!

(And by that I mean I paid a lot of money lol.)

“I wonder where he worked before this,” my new friend said out loud.

“Prison,” I said solemnly, and we laughed. Henry was not a part of this conversation. He was basking in the joy of having a coveted aisle seat. It’s literally all he wants at every concert we go to.

OMG there was a lady who had a sit right next to the barricade that reminded me so much of both Barb Riley and Margie. I was dying. Especially when the show started later and she was fighting with a young girl who was, I believe, attempting to push her out of the way. I didn’t notice at first but my not-Jiyong friend pointed it out and then I couldn’t unsee it.

Meanwhile, soundcheck was running late and everyone was starting to squirm in their seats. Then, one of the G-Dragon cosplayers who I recognized from night 1 too, stood up in front of the extended stage and started BELTING out “Crayon.” It was so funny but also contagious and all of the VIPs started cheering and singing along. OBSESSED with this guy’s moxie. I don’t know if GD could hear this but right in the middle of it, his popped up on the stage in his chair, almost like, “OK imposter, sit down, Daddy’s here now” and immediately launched into Bonomana (one of my absolute faves from his new album and now thanks to soundcheck, I got to hear him sing it live three times in two days!!).

IT WAS EPIC TIMING.

EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING! I immediately started to cry, even having just seen him the night before, he was so much closer now and there are no words to explain how intimate soundcheck is. He was wearing a beautiful, loose gray suit, a beret-ish hat (I don’t know my hat names, OK?), and a face mask. Of course, some brave fan got a video!

OMG, Blog. I just can’t get over how much I adore him. He is so fascinating! I wish everyone could experience the aura he exudes at least one because it is so captivating. I will die on this hill but I think the fact that he has so many fan boys speaks volumes.

In addition to Bonamana and Take Me, he also did IBELONG11U. Worth every penny. I even looked at Henry with tears in my eyes and said, “Worth it. No regrets. Two nights was the best accident ever.” And that was before the actual concert even started!

After soundcheck, people made a beeline for either merch lines, bathroom, or food/bev. Henry of course needed to pee and then he wanted to get a beer, so we sat at a table outside of Section 8 – I forget what the lounge was – and people-watched since we had a good 90 minutes to kill.

Back at our seats, I made Henry do the “Instagram Girl Goes to a Concert” pose. He was like I AM NOT STANDING THIS so I let him sit in my seat for it, Jesus he’s really no fun about these things.

I FELT CUTE. Also, there’s Barb/Margie in the bottom left corner. She had such a great seat, I was jel.

Not Henry sitting next to me adjusting his camera settings on his phone so he could get the best shots of GD, lol.

OMG there was some intense selfie wars going on in front of us. The woman standing up to the right was originally taking a selfie of herself with the stage behind her, and the lady in the pink shirt was also trying to get a selfie so she TOLD THE OTHER LADY TO MOVE, and that lady – visibly appalled – made a big sarcastic gesture “GO RIGHT AHEAD” gesture with her arm after taking her seat. I was like, “Holy shit,  the audacity” and then later, that woman was having her partner take pictures of her so the pink lady GOT UP AND WAS LEANING AGAINST HIM, TAKING HER OWN SELFIES. Henry and I were so invested in this.

Also, the girl right in front of me with the silk scarf on her head a la G-Dragon Power-era and her friend were sooooo nice. We (I) chatted with them quite a bit before the show started, and then they gave me and not-Jiyong baggies of freebies to help ourselves to and then pass along. I was in love with everyone around us, legitimately. There was a group of guys directly behind us who were super chill, and a white guy that reminded me a little of Corey further down in our row who was rocking out with his light stick through the entire concert. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to be seated around and it really elevated the experience.

Around 8:15pm, the G-Dragon cosplayer got the crowd all riled up again with another boisterous sing-along (“Crayon/Crooked”) and I was so impressed that he had the balls to do this with a FILLED ARENA at this point. I mean, judging from the beer sloshing in his hand, he had a bit of liquid courage but still – it takes a special kind of person lol. My opinion on him changed later when I saw a video of him grabbing at GD’s arm during one of the times GD walked along the barricade and that’s just not OK with me.

Also in this video, you can see the NO PHONES, I SWEAR TO GOD JUST PUT IT AWAY RIGHT NOW LOOK THIS ISN’T MY RULE I’M JUST DOING MY JOB staff guy in the white shirt can be seen stomping by, and Barb/Margie is also in the background!

And just like soundcheck, the lights went out right after this and the intro began for night 2 and I was SO STOKED. Part 2 coming soon because I don’t want to ever be done recapping this! :(

“I was going to write about G-Dragon Day 2 but I don’t want to write about G-Dragon while I’m so fucking pissed,” I said to Henry, on the tail end of yet another nightly rant about TRUMP AND THIS FUCKING COUNTRY, FUCK YOU MAGA!!!! “So, I’ll just write about you and Chooch instead.”

“Wow, thanks,” Henry muttered.

On Memorial Day of this year, Henry and I spent the day at Twin Lakes, a really pretty park about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. We had such a nice day but I was bummed that Chooch wasn’t with us, especially because he was ignoring all of my texts that day because he was playing football which is way less important than responding to Mother, but OK.

That day, I vowed to come back here while Chooch was home for the summer. I ALMOST forgot about it but he goes back to Philly in two weeks and I am scrambling to spend all of the time with him, so I decided that we would take a family day trip here on Sunday, and bring food for a PICNIC.

“Mmm, great,” Chooch sighed when I told him to block off time on Sunday for FAMILY. Like it was a threat??

We stopped at Sheetz and got sandwiches to bring with us. Not a very fancy or well-planned picnic but it’s us, The Oh Honestlys. We are known for half-assing these things.

Henry brought a small bag of pretzels – the nugget ones – and Chooch and I cried out in disgust when he started eating them. Chooch tried to make him move to a far away picnic table while I likened his pretzel-mastication to the sound of gravel being chewed.

Ugh.

Then it was walking-around-the-lake time! It’s so beautiful there. I was actually surprised that it wasn’t more crowded because it was an absolutely perfect day. Sunny and low 60s. We love to see it. Turns out there were some geocaches there so Chooch was mollified, at least while he was searching for said geocaches. But in between those times, I was annoying him with G-Dragon gushing (he actually lectured me recently on being irresponsible when it comes to blindly throwing money at fandoms like who is the parent here??) and requests for picture-posing.

He was acting completely put-upon because he had to carry the reusable straw with him for the whole walk after he threw away his Dunkin’. SORRY FOR CARING ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.

Chooch lurking like Michael Myers over there.

Chooch is wearing a Men I Trust shirt, having just gone to see them last week, but I am always going to relate them to THE DEAD LADY ON THE SIDEWALK, UGH.

(My sweatshirt is DANCE GAVIN DANCE in case you care. The battle of the bands, via shirts.)

“Wait why do you have BLUES CLUES SHORTS?” Chooch cried.

“Uh, because I bought them last summer?” I shrugged.

“Why didn’t you get me any???” Chooch bitched.

“I dunno, because it’s not always about you??”

“You two fight over the dumbest shit,” Henry mumbled.

Geocaching.

“HOW MANY PICTURES DO WE REALLY NEED???” Chooch cried when I made them sit at a picnic table for this one.

“As many as it takes before I get one that I like,” I answered calmly, taking a second one with my sunglasses pushed up. (This one was the keeper though.)

It was a fun day of Chooch criticizing my every action. I’M GOING TO MISS HIM. :(

I love this place. And I love my dumb-dumb family.

After a solid hour-long stroll around the lake, we went to The Meadows for custard – I got peanut butter explosion which felt just like regular custard with some mini-Reese’s pieces sprinkled on top but both Henry and Chooch tasted it and said that the custard was very blatantly peanut butter too but it tasted like just vanilla to me, am I dying??

Ugh, what a good day. I am clinging on to these moments.

Back in 2001, I went to Buffalo with my friend Shawn for a music festival called Edgefest. We decided to also go to Niagara Falls since it was RIGHT THERE and this was pre-9/11 so you could just randomly cross the border with no passport back then. Simpler times. Safer times. :(

Anyway, on the drive there, I remember so vividly looking out of the passenger window and seeing an amusement park over to our right. I screamed, “OMG CAN WE GO!?!?” and Shawn, sounding like Every American Dad, said, “Certainly not right now!” It cracked me up so much at the time because it was so out of character for him.

Well, we never did go to that park. And eventually, I forgot all about it. But then I became a coaster enthusiast and it came up in my feed back in 2020 when it announced that it was closing and I thought, “OMG that park!”

Around the same time, Indiana Beach (which we just recently visited for the 3rd time!) also announced its closure and our community was so sad. Then!! A businessman from Chicago – Gene Staples – swooped in and bought both properties and has been working to restore them both ever since (well, moreso Niagara because that one definitely needed/needs more TLC than Indiana Beach).

The wooden coaster, Silver Comet, has been fully restored, and they brought in a little steel family coaster from some other park, which was up and running by the end of last season. So yeah, only two coaster creds to be had but I wanted to go here and show support so that they will continue to put in more rides and make this place shine. I mean, it makes sense to have an amusement park in that area! It’s actually close enough to the Falls that you can see the mist from the top of Silver Comet’s lift hill.

So yeah, we stopped here last Sunday after our super-quick jaunt in Canada for the Frank-n-Coaster, and I’m so glad we did! Chooch was not a fan, I will tell you right now, but Henry and I both thought it was a cute little park with potential. I wish I was a Gene Staples-type of person and could go around saving parks from shuttering.

Right off the bat, we walked through their littler Western area and it was so cute! Of course Chooch just shrugged and said, “It’s alright.” Ugh. They have shows here, I want to say 3 times a day. We caught the tail end of one later that afternoon and it was a real sight to behold lol.

A pretty little swamp area thing that we passed on the way to Silver Comet, which was a station wait BUT it was one-train ops and the ops were slow as fuck. Great and friendly crew, but the riders were total GP (except for the one guy we saw in an American Coaster Enthusiast shirt who was there by himself) and doing weird shit like changing seats at the last second and then suddenly realizing they wanted to put their phone in the bin and making one of the ride attendants come over and do it for them. It was wild.

Henry sat this one out – he makes Chooch and I ride all wooden coasters first and then we report back if it was rough or not. We both surprisingly LOVED THIS ONE. I wanted to immediately go right back on but Henry was like LET’S RIDE THE OTHER THINGS FIRST. Ugh.

There was this one broad who got onto the station as we were already in the train ready to go, but there were a ton of open seats and one of her kids was already on it so they were trying to get her to come on and she screamed I WILL ONLY RIDE IN THE VERY FRONT OR THE VERY BACK and then she offered to hold our stuff if we had anything we needed held. It all was happening so fast.

Other things like this seriously shitty dark ride called Flying Witch lol. It was relocated there from Rye Park also in NY and I was really excited for it because I love dark rides so much, but yooooo. This was so terrible, lol.

The facade was amazing though!

And those cars! I would kill to have one in my house as a love seat.

But this was another ride with super slow ops. I don’t think it’s the fault of the ride operators though – there appeared to be some reason why only one car could go through the house at a time. So, the next riders would just sit there until the car before them came out of the exit. Also, the door is kept open so you don’t get the thrill of the car bumping it open as it goes in.

I think that this can be good someday if they get it to look like something more than just K-Mart Halloween displays. And add some atmospheric music – they have music playing in the line but not inside! I dunno, I was disappointed BUT at least this was salvaged and given new life in another park. That is all that we, as dark ride lovers, can ask for. There is always the possibility of improving it, which can’t really happen if it’s in a salvage yard somewhere.

The next weird ass ride was the Serpent, which was ALSO running on just one car. As soon as we started to walk up the entrance ramp (just Chooch and me because Henry had gone to the bathroom and hadn’t caught up to us yet lol), one of the ride ops leaned over the railing and asked us how many we had. I said two because I ALWAYS forget about Henry, and dude goes, “Unfortunately, you need 4 riders to ride this” and I was like, “Oh damn I meant 3 but I guess never mind” and he said, “Oh, that’s fine then! I can ride with you.” I was like, “……………………ok” and we continued up the ramp and then Henry caught up to us and I was like “LOLOLOL YOU HAVE TO RIDE WITH THE RIDE OP” and he didn’t believe me until we started to see the kid jump into the car with other 3-people groups ahead of us.

You can see him here in the front looking so thrilled to be riding this thing, lol.

There’s my bae SILVER COMET over yonder.

Anyway, Henry almost got out of riding this because when it was nearly our turn, the ride op (I wish I could remember his name, I looked at his name tag purposely and totally forget it now) asked the people behind us how many they had and they just had TWO so he was like YOU CAN’T RIDE and then Henry the Martyr was like, “NO! I will get out of line and you two can ride with my family” and the dad of the duo behind us was like, “BUT YOU WAITED IN LINE THIS WHOLE TIME!” and Henry was like, “I promise you, I do not care.” It wasn’t a long line, but — one train ops, you know? Maybe about a 25 minute wait. So Henry had to go through this whole hassle of getting out of line JUST AS A MOM AND DAUGHTER APPROACHED and the ride op, already forgetting that Henry got out of line, told them that they could jump the line and join the dad and son who were supposed to ride with us!?

Henry was starting to walk away but I screamed, “HENRY! YOU CAN RIDE WITH US AGAIN!!!!” and he was like, “GODDAMMIT” and had to cut all the way through the line to rejoin us. It was chaotic. You don’t care.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

Anyway, it was actually SO GOOD?? The ride op sustained casual small talk with us the whole way up the lift hill. I asked him how many times he has to ride this during the day and he said, “If I had to guess….27 times.” Pretty specific guess.

But yeah, I was actually shocked because I expected this to be a lumbar cruncher, but it was pretty smooth and genuinely fun – the one helix made me extremely giddy!

I wish this was running – I’ve never seen a Musik Express themed like this!

Baby cone!

OK, now it was time to get in some re-rides on Silver Comet! Henry joined us this time and there was actually a line. Not a big one, but because ops were molasses, we probably waited in the station for about 15 minutes. We ended up sitting near the front and um….what a completely different experience from earlier. It was so rough and Henry was PISSED! I was fucking laughing so hard that I was trying to not pee my pants while also screaming in pain because WTF WAS THIS??

It had to have been because the train was completely full as opposed to just 4 rows being filled when Chooch and I rode it earlier but Jesus Christ it was running like a completely different coaster. Henry was like I’M DONE as soon as it came back to the brake run and Chooch was like, “Yeah, I hate this coaster now. It sucks.”

But I was like, “NO. We have to give it another chance. Let’s go ride it again in the back.” Henry waved us off in a dismissive “you do you” manner and sat on a bench while Chooch reluctantly followed me back into the line. We got to go right to the station this time and I asked the one ride op if we could wait for the back row because someone was already standing there and I like to be polite and ask because sometimes parks want people to fill the rows!

The guy was super nice and said, “Absolutely!” and I smiled smugly at Chooch.

“You’re so cool,” he muttered.

SILVER COMET A/S/L.

Yeah, this was just as terrible in the back now that the train was at capacity, LOL. But it was somehow SO FUN for me and I was cracking up so hard in spite of the possible internal damage it was doing on me. I honestly wanted to ride it again before we left and Chooch was like, “Ride it by yourself.” :(

The greenery was so lush here!

I made Chooch ride the Scrambler with me and they were playing really shitty country music over a crackly speaker, which is the first thing that came to mind as I recalled this moment.

I was telling Chooch about the time me and Blake took him on the Scrambler at Lakemont Park when he was TWO and you can’t even see him in the picture and then I dropped him (in slow motion) when we were trying to get him off the ride and the ride operator who was probably the same age as Blake (like 15!!) had to come over and help as he slowly slid out of the car, down my leg, and onto the pavement LOL. What a great moment for me as a mom.

The aforementioned tail end of the show which was fucking hilarious but also rife with fake gunfire that was so loud it was causing young kids and babies (and maybe me) to cry.

I’m pretty sure this was 90% of the people at the park that day.

He rolled off the roof!!!

Carouselfie time! The ride operator was some young kid who was very strict and yelled CELL PHONES AWAY, YOU CAN TAKE ALL THE PICTURES YOU WANT AFTER THE RIDE ENDS but I had already put my phone away by that point and the ride hadn’t started yet so HE BEST NOT HAVE BEEN CALLING ME OUT.

The kiddieland area was so adorably creepy!

ALICE’S FACE GOES SO HARD.

Train time!

Oh yeah, the wristbands just reminded me of this: we bought our tickets online but only got two ride-all-day admissions and Henry got the $4.99 “walk-around, no rides” admission, but the guy at the gate gave him a wristband anyway! “Yay, that means now we can do a carouselfie!”

“Mmm boy,” Henry and Chooch mumbled in unison.

Henry wore his G-Dragon Ubermensch hat and Chooch periodically reminded us of his disapproval of how much we paid for it. Chooch is basically our parent at this point. Everything we do is so disappointing and irresponsible to him. I love it.

The train took us along my bae, Silver Comet!

There is one vantage point where the track looks like a smashed hornet’s nest, just the most inexplicable tangle of track. Henry said he actually thought it was two coasters.

On the way our, we stopped at the cafe near the entrance for boba tea. As expected, it wasn’t the best.

Our “so so” boba.

Overall, I personally had a blast at this little park. There is so much potential here and I’m going to keep my eyes on it for future additions – it’s only about a three hour drive from Pittsburgh so I would happily go back.

Chooch did not like it at all and Henry was on the same page as me except that he hated Silver Comet and never wants to ride it again, but meanwhile I came home and was watching videos about it on YouTube the next day because I missed it so much.

When I think of Labor Day Weekend 2025, I am going to always remember it as the weekend I got a good drivers license picture taken, we had a fun day trip to NY / Canada, and there was brewing hope and excitement that fucking Trump might have been dead. What a great and giddy weekend. Too bad the Trump part wasn’t true though.

It’s been a minute since I’ve done a Friday Five and I’m feeling like that’s what I want to do today so that’s what I’m doing.

1. IS HE DEAD YET

Remember last weekend when the Internet thought that the orange dickheadtator was dead? Remember how fun and invigorating that was? I had the most fun online that weekend than I have had in years. That pre-celebratory, hopeful euphoria breathed life into me and I was positively giddy! The Weekend at Bernie’s memes were sending me. My mom came over on Monday and, knowing that at least during his first term she was a Trumpophant, I gleefully blurted out, “DO YOU THINK TRUMP IS DEAD???” She had a very neutral reaction so I don’t know where she stands.

I was just telling Henry last night that it was one of the happiest, most fun weekends I have had since everything started to tank for me in 2023 and then I started crying because WHY IS HE STILL ALIVE. Almost a full week of not seeing his orangeness and hearing his slurred sentence fragments rife with made-up words and not waking up to more infuriating news of what part of our country he’s shitting on next.  So, now I’m just back to being miserable, depressed, full of rage and frustration. I have NEVER hated someone so much in my life and it actually feels like it’s chipping away at my health. LET’S GO BLOOD CLOT. And I want that shit to happen on live TV too.

I did see a comment on Threads (where I live now) recently likening him to a cockroach – “he’ll survive a fucking nuclear fallout.” This feels so true and I hate it.

(I have been reading stuff about 1989 Romania and I am so fucking amped up. THE PARALLELS ARE SCARY.)

2. THE VERIZON PEDDLER

Last Wednesday while I was working, THE DOORBELL RANG. I had no choice but to answer it because the door was actually open and the bell ringer was actually staring right at me through the screen door. It was some young Verizon guy who could NOT make eye contact with me during his spiel, which I quickly interrupted to say that MY HUSBAND is the one who handles this shit. Chooch and I have AT&T and as soon as I said that, he was like “OH! HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY?” Dafuq if I know, bro. Again, I defaulted to “wife helpless, husband smart.” He asked to talk to Henry and I was like, “he’s taking a nap” so then he asked me when I expect him to wake up LOL. These Verizon peddlers, ISTFG. I was like, “Definitely 6pm” knowing that I wouldn’t be there because I was meeting Margie and Sue at Juniper Grill for dinner.

I was warning Henry about the visitor he could be expecting later and said, not like this meant anything to him, “He reminded me a lot of my friend Evan from high school.” Evan is also the one who owns the tattoo shop where I have gotten my last three tattoos so I do know the adult-version of him, but this kid reminded me specifically of high school-era Evan. Henry was like, “cool story” and continued oaf’ing around the house or whatever he was doing. Watching Instagram reels probably.

Anyway, while at dinner later that night, my jaw slowly dropped open as I saw THE AFOREMENTIONED EVAN stride past our table?! He was there with his family so I didn’t want to interrupt but I thought that was wild considering I haven’t seen him outside of his tattoo parlor since…the early 00s probably.

When I came home that night, Henry told me that not-Evan had come back to the house – twice! – but Henry didn’t answer the door. Rude!!

3. Vanity

I had to get my driver’s license renewed over the weekend and as usual, I was so tightly-wound over it because I hate having my picture taken –  that could make or break the entire weekend for not just me, but everyone around me.

Henry accompanied me to AAA because he needed to get his international driver’s license for our upcoming trip. I had already gone through the rigmarole of answering all of the questions and getting the dreaded photo taken – I don’t know if the DMV does this because I haven’t gone there in years to get my license renewed ever since I learned that AAA does it and it’s way more convenient, but AAA will retake your picture until you get one you like! – and was sitting next to a large white woman in her late 50s who acted like she and her equally-as-loud husband were the only ones in the waiting area and watched videos on their phones with the volume full blast while speaking loudly about the additions they want to add to their house and how much it will cost, like OK brag much.

“WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE CELL PHONES??” she shouted into the ether.

“STARE AT THE WALL I GUESS,” her husband responded in a booming voice to match her MIDDLE AGED WHITE WOMAN IN A WAITING ROOM energy.

Meanwhile, that is EXACTLY what I was doing = hands folded in my lap and staring straight ahead at a wall, willing this part of the day to pass quickly.

Then Henry joined me.

“For some reason, it completely slipped my mind that I would need to get my picture taken for this,” he whispered in a NORMAL WAITING ROOM VOICE VOLUME. But then he showed me his picture and I couldn’t fucking help it, I LAUGHED REALLY LOUD.

So loud that the AAA lady who was manning the numbers for the driver’s license area also started laughing.

I can’t remember what she said – something about it doesn’t matter if men’s license pictures are bad as long as ours are good or something, and then I couldn’t stop giggling and it was a trickle down effect with some of the people around us.

He looks like they pulled him out of a cave in the Ozarks, lol.

“I didn’t even take a shower yet this morning!” he said. “I would have if I have known!”

So his hair is all greasy PLUS he has hat hair big time, and a tuft of it is sticking out at the side. I love/hate it so much.

Oh, and he looks ANGRY. Like his moonshine operation was just busted.

Meanwhile, I got called back to get my license and I am so happy with the photo!

I mean, sure, my Leno chin is just as prominent as ever, but overall my hair looks nice and my smile looks un-fake so I’ll take it! Henry was like, “OMG stop” because I legit gloated over this the whole way home. I even got out all of my old driver’s licenses to compare and this one is definitely the best one. Then I pulled Chooch out of his room and made him look at all of them and he was like, “Ok.” and I said, “Tell your friends!”

“Tell my friends WHAT?” he scoffed.

“That your mom got a good driver’s license picture taken today!”

LET’S LOOK AT MY DRIVER’S LICENSE PICTURE HISTORY SHALL WE???

My last one was taken in 2017 and then reissued with the same picture during Covid, which was annoying:

I remember this next one was taken in 2014 on the day I met Janna to look at an apartment she was looking to rent above some dude’s garage! I was wearing my Cure shirt from their 2008 concert:

It’s about to get real ugly, literally. This next one was from 2009 ugh why did I dye my hair, also I was about 45 pounds heavier there than I am now oof:

This next one was from 2006, a few mths after giving birth:

A little bit slutty in 2001:

LOL and my first one, in 1998:

LOLOLOLOL. I was 18 here.

Thank you for joining me on this ride through my driver’s license history.

4. THE VERIZON PEDDLER’S RETURN

Last Thursday around 6PM, I had JUST glanced out the window in time to see the Evan-esque Verizon kid approaching the house. I ran onto the back porch just as the doorbell rang and told Henry, “It’s Verizon again! Just answer it so the poor kid can stop wasting his time coming here!” Henry was like GODDAMMIT and stomped over to the door while I hid on the steps.

I was sitting there for quite a while, wondering why “No” was taking so long??

BECAUSE HENRY FELL FOR THE SPIEL!

Apparently, Chooch and me switching to Verizon (Henry already has it but it’s through his job) will save us over $100 a month, who knew. Plus we get new iPhones and I have been dying for the iPhone 16! (Actually, I would love to divorce iPhone altogether but I am a sucker for Hipstamatic.)

Evan-ish had a girl with him this time, I think she was his supervisor, who can be sure but when I was still hiding, I overheard her ask him a question about how bricks are made and he was REALLY into explaining it to her and then she was asking him about ceramics and turns out he knows about things like this because of “engineering” so I’m not sure if this is his side-gig while he’s in college or what but my guy needs to not be doing this forever because he seems super intelligent. Henry must have been in the process of filling out paperwork or something so this is what they decided to talk amongst themselves about. Emma even asked Henry at one point where he got our doorbell and he was like, “I made it” in his typical staccato caveman grunts.

So, now I had also be involved in  this chat since they needed to look at my phone and ask me questions. The girl (her name was Emma) was like, “OMG WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PHONE CASE??” and I said, “Korea!”

“WAIT, YOU’VE BEEN  TO KOREA??” she squealed. I told her we’ve been there 3x and she was like “WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK AND WILL YOU TAKE ME” so now Henry was creepily typing messages to me on his phone, things like, “ASK HER IF SHE LIKES KPOP” so I asked her and she said yes and started talking about Kpop Demon Hunters and then I went and sat back down so Henry texted me, “ASK HER WHO SHE LISTENS TO” like he was legit COACHING ME  TO MAKE A NEW FRIEND.

I didn’t ask her right away and he was getting antsy, like he was truly trying to be my friend matchmaker, bless him. Finally, I did ask her and she was like, “Well, BTS and Blackpink are the most popular ones…” like she was trying to give this old bitch a lesson in Kpop I guess? But then she ultimately said she’s been listening to Ateez lately and I said, “Oh! We saw them last summer” and she was like, “OMG really??” and then I told her that G-Dragon is my fave and we saw him the weekend prior and she said that he really is the best.

“I would drop this guy in a heartbeat for him,” I laughed, jutting my thumb over my shoulder at Henry. But no, really.

Anyway, that happened. No, I did not ask to be real life friends, but I did give her and Evan-ish an iced tea straight from Henry’s work, lol. Overall, they were here for TWO HOURS. Chooch kept t texting me, “How are they still here??”

It was really entertaining, though! And now he and I both have new phones.

5. Speaking of new friends….

I signed up for Nourish and had my first Zoom call yesterday with my new dietician. This disordered eating has to stop, I am in such a rut and tired of crying and freaking out at the thought of having to eat. How has this truly been my attitude toward food for most of my life? It’s so fucking pathetic. But I have been admitting a lot of shitty/embarrassing parts of myself to my therapist lately and the most prevalent one is definitely my fear of food and complete disgust with my body, like it fucking defines me and I can’t stand it. I should not be canceling plans because I don’t like how I look and then lying to people about “having a migraine” when really I am in tears in bed and wanting to carve into myself with a steak knife. I thought that maybe pairing therapy with a legit dietician can help me keep me on a stable path.

So, I met with my dietician, Amanda, yesterday and it was so nice! Informative (when she looked over my files she said that my daily calorie count I’ve been allowing myself is the same that a 2-year-old would need. So, there’s that. But then we started talking about YouTube workouts that we like, and then I was like DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A FUNNY STORY when she asked if I like doing dance cardio so surprise, it only took me 20 minutes into the call to tell her I’m obsessed with Korea. And then somehow I was telling her about my squirrels and after the hour call, I felt so refreshed and happy and ran upstairs to tell Henry. Then I realized, “Wow, I am fucking STARVED for real life conversation*. YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR DIETICIAN, ERIN.”

*(OMG the way I talked my face off at dinner last week with Sue and Margie, I was actually so embarrassed about it later that night when I was running through it in my mind which is what I do every time I come home from peopling because I am socially broken. The way my stories get so derailed, I hate myself. Spit it out, Erin. Pertinent details only. This is a no rambling zone.)

The Verizon girl, my therapist, a dietician who lives in Texas….meet my new friends, Blog. I guess it’s better than talking to myself like I normally do during the day, though, lol. Ugh.