Saturday was a whirlwind. I stupidly scheduled an appointment at Quest in Mt. Lebanon because Nourish was paying for me to get updated panels. (Side note: if you’re interested in getting your diet and nutrition in check but need a real person to talk to in order to hold yourself accountable, I highly recommend looking into the Nourish app. Most insurance will fully cover it—mine does, surprisingly–and you can choose a real dietician to schedule check-in calls with. I love mine—Amanda—with my whole heart and I think it’s incredible that Nourish pays for labwork.)

Anyway! I had originally planned on just walking there but then it was raining so Henry drove me. I ended up getting a guy phlebotomist and he was nice enough (saw my Bambi and Marcy tattoos and commented that I was the second “cat arm” he had in a row so that was nice small talk but literally nothing helps me in these situations because I hate hate hate getting blood drawn so much) but he put the rubber band thing on so fucking tight and it ended up being one of the most painful (and longest!!!) blood draws of my life, yet he left NO BRUISE and I barely bled afterward?! I was so fucking confused. I was expecting my arm crook to be FUCKED after that. You couldn’t even see where the needle ruthlessly penetrated me, though!

Of course, I didn’t know this at first because I kept the cotton ball and tape on it for as long as it lasted.

I guess the dude could tell that I was wrecked because he asked if I needed to sit for a while and I said no because I just wanted to go home and eat breakfast so bad. It’s hilarious because I had been fasting and 1. I never eat at night; 2. I don’t usually eat breakfast until 9am-9:30am and it wasn’t even 9am yet, so I don’t know why I was acting like I had just emerged from a fortnight in the desert. But you know me, should have gone into theater they always said.

As soon as I got in the car, Henry attempted to start it and IT WOULDN’T TURN ON. We never have issues with the car so it was super unexpected. And of course, it happened a day after we started actively talking about trading it in (for another Kona, though! We love our Kona and just want a new one because we put MILES on our cute little Jinki.). While Henry was messing with AAA, I said I was just going to walk home, and slid out of the car.

I was walking with a drunken gait, gauze on my arm (the tape was now half un-stuck and flapping in the breeze), looking like a regular local druggie. So of course I would have THREE small-talk moments with other pedestrians. One guy was SUPER chatty, the living embodiment of a bitch with pep in their step, and crossed the street with me, matching my stride, yapping about the weather while I was swaying from blood loss.

“I didn’t realize it was going to rain so much!” he said, and I mumbled something moderately comprehendible about “it’s supposed to be like this all day.”

“Oh no, I hope not! We’re going to downtown tonight!” Cool. Bye.

Then I passed another guy who had just stood up from tying his shoe. We made eye contact so I slurred, “Good morning” and he said, “Good morning, babe!” And then we performed a mutual horrified doubletake as he realized what he said. It was actually really funny, the way it just slipped out like that and I didn’t mind because it’s been a minute since I was called babe by someone that wasn’t Henry being sarcastic.

I made it to our block and then passed one of my Brookline walker friends while I was on the phone with Henry and of course he was like WHO WAS THAT when he heard me say hi to someone. God, calm down, master. Anyway, it turned out it was the battery so that was a fun way to hemorrhage $250 first thing in the morning. Speaking of hemorrhaging, my perimenopause periods have been so demonic lately that I had bled through an ULTRA tampon (thankfully I was wearing black jeans!!!) and didn’t realize it until I had been sitting on the bed while changing clothes and stood up to see THAT I BLED ALL OVER THE BARE MATTRESS because Henry had JUST stripped the bed that morning. I lost my mind and started sobbing and called Henry to tell him and he was like, “It’s OK, I’ll take care of it!” and he came home and cleaned up my Carrie’s prom scene recreation and not that I needed a reason to be reminded that he is amazing, but come on. He literally cleaned up my blood while I sat on the couch, eating my toast and crying.

Talk about a morning of bloodletting. If it hadn’t been for that pesky daylight, I’d have been a beacon for neighborhood vampires.

I guess this is my payback because I had always had super regular and normal periods and now it’s a Greek tragedy.

Speaking of Greek! Later that afternoon, we met Jess and Shawn in Oakmont for some Greek church’s food festival! Luckily, I did not bleed out while there.

But first, I had to take this picture to send to Chooch because Henry was really excited to show off the new shirt he bought himself that is actually nice and not just some oversized T-shirt in a hue that falls somewhere between dirt and puke on the color wheel.

I was excited to take my new Charmera with me! This is part of the Millenium collection. The first thing I did when I saw Jess and Shawn was shove it in their faces and yell LOOK I GOT A NEW ONE I HAVE TWO NOW!

Greek church bathroom selfie!

Post-bloodletting.

And then the Charmera version! Selfies are challenging to take with this tiny babe of a camera.

Mini photoshoot while waiting for Shawn and Jess, lol.

Once Jess and Shawn arrived, we immediately began procuring food. I was so excited! I haven’t had Greek food in a minute and I was READY. Mostly for the baklava and other honey-laden sweet treats.

This was part of Jess and Shawn’s meat haul.

Henry and I got dolmas, spanakopita and a REALLY DELICIOUS rice pudding to share. I was in heaven.

Henry and Shawn both got this deluxe assortment of Greek cookies and baked goods, and Henry and I also had a baklava sundae (made with Glen’s frozen custard!) to share. It was so satisfying.

We occupied this table for so long that we probably toed the line of squatting. But we always have so much to talk about! Jess suggested that we find an amusement park to road trip to and I almost lost my mind in excitement! Ever since Laura moved out west, I haven’t been able to get anyone hyped to join us even just at Kennywood, so this suggestion made my whole day.

A pensive pose.

We learned that “vespers” means “prayers.” We did not join in.

We eventually parted ways around 5PM because it was POURING* so our plan of going for a walk at a neighboring park was definitely drowned out. That was a bummer, but we still had such a great time hanging out and beasting a buffet of Greek goods. I can’t wait until the next hang (which is up to me to plan this time so I gotta start researching interesting things to do around here this summer)!

*(Is it weird that I immediately thought of the guy I crossed the street and hoped that his evening downtown wasn’t ruined?)

On the way home, we stopped at Old Thunder so I could get a stamp in my idiot book. I had a 1/2 pour of some kind of Czech lager and it was nice.  I took pictures until my Kodak died (Henry rejoiced).

The bartenders were really nice and the beer was good but GOOD LORD were there a lot of children there! Like, really young, screaming brat children. I absolutely hated it. Also, watching parents drink multiple beers knowing that they’re (probably!?) going to get behind the wheel and drive home with their children in the car is just baffling and scary.

Here’s my Charmera video with the Cure playing in the background, good luck hearing it!

Aside from the car and my traumatic double-blood loss, it was a really excellent day!

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